Mar
15

Two-Minute Townhall




Posted at 0:13 by Gavin M.

towhallbitter.jpg

Are you ready? Here we go: Slow, Slow, Quick-Quick-Slow…

Michael Medved — The Core Of Conservatism: Distinctions And Consequences
So maybe conservatism has no guiding principles. That’s because we reject moral relativism.

Michelle Malkin — All the News That’s Fit to Pay For?
The New York Times has a mote in its eye.

Mike S. Adams — How to bomb a gay bath house
Ann Coulter should take a cue from the true bigots — the left — and call for the extermination of all the faggot gay queer homo fags.

Terence Jeffrey — Hillary’s Human Rights Campaign
Martin Luther King would have been appalled at Hillary Clinton’s acceptance of the faggot gay queer homo fags.

John Stossel — Hazardous Safety Regulation
Government regulation kills, according to a study which doesn’t say that.

Jonah Goldberg — Unity is Overrated
Hello down there, Rich! You know, people talk about partisanship like it was a bad thing…

Walter E. Williams — Economics and Smoking
If unpolluted air were free, people would breathe it all up.

Kathleen Parker — Al Sharpton’s Faux Magic
Is Obama black enough to ruin Al Sharpton? Let’s find out together!

Paul Weyrich — CPAC and Extended Campaigns – Too Much Too Soon
I say, what truly unites conservatives in this modern age is the fear that Hillary will outlaw our wireless radiophone broadcasts.

Thomas Sowell — Is Newt Gingrich Back?
Hey, watch what happens when you put scare-quotes around a word — for instance, “scandals.”

Ben Shapiro — Why The Left Hates “300″
Freedom-hating liberals cannot grasp the simple reality that the iron boot of the white race must brutally crush the evil mud-mongrels.

Tony Blankley — Closing Time in the West
Ten bucks says I can write a column about nothing. Ha, I win.

Jacob Sullum — A Federal Appeals Court Revives the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
As a libertarian, I support the Second Amendment.

Roger Schlesinger — How to pay your mortgage
Now is a good time to sign up for an adjustable-rate or interest-only mortgage.

Rich Lowry — Who Cares About Abortion?
Hello up there, Jonah! You know, people talk about politicians ‘flip-flopping’ like it was a bad thing…

62 Comments »

  1. Aquagirl said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:26

    Hey, the Washington Times put scare quotes around the word “marriage” in a headline today, but only the gay kind, to distinguish it from hetero, non-scare-quotey mawwiage.

  2. spencer said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:28

    Gawd help me, but I actually tried to read Mike S. Adams’ drivel (mostly because I didn’t believe your headline). I got as far as the made-up story about the “friend” of his who used the word “faggot” long before he “decided he was gay.”

    You have a stronger stomach than I do, Gavin.

  3. Phil said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:36

    Medved: For instance, we want lower taxes because high tax rates punish and burden the hard work and productivity that benefit society at large. We oppose generous welfare benefits because such programs reward misfortune or, at worst, indolence.

    So we should punish misfortune? The fuck?

  4. J— said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:36

    From: Ann Coulter, Legal Affairs Correspondent
    To: Dr. Mike S. Adams
    Subject: Re: My latest Townhall column
    Date: March 14, 2007

    Thanks, Mike. You my niggah.

    Ann

    —On March 14, 2007, at 10:43 AM, Dr. Mike S. Adams wrote:

    >Ann,
    >
    >I thought you might be interested in my latest piece at Townhall, “How to bomb a gay bath house.”
    >
    >Cheers, Dr. Mike S. Adams

  5. Marco said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:39

    Mike S. Adams, where to begin?

    His first crime is not being funny. His second, goofing on videotaping the murders of gays and lesbians – that’s like so anti-funny.

    But being the good gay guy I am, I’d love to sit down with Dr. Mike and explain to him the tenets of tolerance. Then I’d like to introduce him to my version of Gay Bashing by kicking the absolute shit out of his weasel ass until he begs me – oh, I am sorry – Faggot Me – to stop.

    But I wouldn’t do that, as I am cooler than he is. It’s not often you can safely say you’re cooler than another, but so easy in the case of Dr. Mike.

  6. a different brad said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:47

    I think you’re actually being charitable to the virgin Ben, insofar as you’re assuming that so called column had anything resembling a point.

  7. Hysterical Woman said,

    March 15, 2007 at 0:54

    Shorter Mike: Why can’t I call black people “niggers”?

  8. mikey said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:03

    vben:
    It is no surprise that the Iranian regime — the embodiment of evil in today’s world — objects to a movie depicting a conflict between ancient Western civilization and ancient Persian civilization as a conflict between good and evil.

    This idiot fuckhead is the leader of the He-Man enemy of the day club, ain’t he. Forget Sudan. Forget Uganda. Forget Palestine, Kashmir, Sri Lanka, Rwanda, Serbia. Iran is the embodiment of evil in todays world.

    I guess he knows this ’cause Dick Cheney told him?

    mikey

  9. Monkey C. Monkeydew said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:16

    Shortest Mike S. Adams:

    “Faggots!”

  10. islmfaoscist said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:17

    Alternate shorter Pantload:

    Unity in support of a wartime president is not only overrated, it’s often undemocratic. Now that he’s a lame duck pariah, that is.

  11. Monkey C. Monkeydew said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:18

    From Mike S. Adams totally gay column:

    “Every time I get into a discussion about homosexuality I am accused of being “secretly gay.â€? When the accuser is strait, he shows how much he secretly hates homosexuals.”

    So George Strait thinks Mike S. Adams is gay?

  12. nick said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:23

    What really struck me about Mike S Adams’ entry was the picture of Ann Coulter that accompanied it. Even by the standards of Ann Coulter photography (which are low indeed), that is one scary motherfucker of a picture.

  13. Smiling Mortician said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:37

    Once in a great while I take a gander at a Malkin column. Today was such a day. It made my teeth hurt, but I stuck it out to the bitter end.

    Two observations: first, it’s really cool that the majority of comments comprising complete sentences and standard usage are skeptical of MM’s argument-by-insinuation; second, Righteous Bubba is totally my hero for engaging the commenters rationally and respectfully.

  14. Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:54

    And it is not surprising that the left objects to any movie pitting freedom against tyranny and coming out squarely on the side of freedom.”

    Sorry? Teh Left wants tyranny to win against freedom? Why is that, exactly? Honestly, I’d be really grateful if anyone could understand the logic behind this particular mantra. I thought we were the bunch who wanted to let folks get away with bonking each other regardless of righteous gender issues, sticking what they want where they want. I thought we were the bunch who wanted to give poor folks welfare, rather than letting them starve as god intended. I thought we were the bunch of bleeding hearts who wanted to stop frying every black fella accused of anything. I thought we were the loonies who wanted to let Muslims and other turr’rists pray to Mecca and talk about it and all.

    And now we have to love tyranny as well? Man, there’s not enough time on my calendar.

  15. kingubu said,

    March 15, 2007 at 1:54

    Alternate Medved:

    Hey, wow, trying to find intellectual consistency in the rhetorical succotash that we used to sell authoritarianism to the rubes is a real bitch.

  16. Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:06

    Rats. Ratsetty ratsetty rats rats rats. Damn tags.

  17. TidyCat said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:07

    A Q-Feel reference in the intro – I thought for sure I was the only one who still remembered them …

  18. Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:08

    Another Shapiro gem:

    The movie has many weaknesses, but its strength lies in the affirmation that there can be good, there can be evil, and that good must be willing to withstand evil’s best efforts to annihilate it.

    See irony in the corner, dying of exhaustion.

  19. Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:10

    Still on Shapiro: the comments are scary. Way scary. Aside from all the “libruls hate freedom and orange juice” crap, they seem to have swallowed the bait, the rod, and the boat.

    Congrat, guys, for nailing the wingnet’s reaction before it even happened.

  20. arouet said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:11

    Mike S. Adams:
    “Put simply, it is permissible for heterosexuals to use the term “faggotâ€? because so many homosexuals use it all the time. The only rebuttal I’ve heard is that the same cannot be said with regard to the use of the “n-word.â€? This is an unspeakable insult to black people. [b]Gay persecution does not rival black persecution in the annals (I could not find a better word to insert here) of American history.[/b]”

    Holy shit.

  21. ifthethunderdontgetya®© said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:18

    Qetesh, it is just more Rethuglican projection.

    For example, when Karl Rove accuses the Democrats of voting fraud.

  22. ifthethunderdontgetya®© said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:23

    Put simply, it is permissible for heterosexuals to use the term “faggot� because so many homosexuals use it all the time.

    Note carefully, Sadly No!sians, lest ye be carried away: this does not apply to sub sammiches, or photoshopping of same.

  23. kingubu said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:32

    On ’300′, is anyone really shocked that Teh Wingnuts would get all warm and runny over a Frazettaesque paean to Spartan blood-thirstiness, rippling muscles, and leather underwear?

  24. RSA said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:32

    Roger Schlesinger : Now is a good time to sign up for an adjustable-rate or interest-only mortgage.

    I didn’t believe this one until I read it. In addition, paying your mortgage turns out to be really easy. All you have to remember to do is pay at least as much as the amount given on your mortgage coupon. If only people realized this!

  25. Mike "Snow" Adams said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:35

    I lick ya boom boom down.

  26. Jillian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:47

    Mike Adams wants Coulter to start a website called “Global War on Fags”?

    Doesn’t he know that’s already been done?

    (link not safe for most workplaces)

  27. JK47 said,

    March 15, 2007 at 2:59

    Another alternate shorter Mike Adams:

    Here’s a few apochryphal stories that prove liberals are hypocrites.

  28. Colin Moulding said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:21

    Heel-to-heel and toe-to-toe
    In a Dance Band.

  29. Travis G. said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:23

    I was so hoping that was you up there, tehl4m3. (Heh-heh-heh, Ssssssssnow.)

  30. iamcoyote said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:33

    You know, I’m a card-carrying member of The Left; I’ve signed the loyalty oaths, and learned the secret handshakes. And I’ve been looking forward to 300 for a long time. I like those kind of movies. They’re mindless entertainment. Now this turd’s ruined it for me. Thanks, ya bastid!

    Seriously, though, the people seeing this film in droves are the gamers and the geeks like me who love the genre so much we can overlook bad dialogue and overacting. The attraction has nothing to do with “good v. evil,” it’s all about the action, the swordplay, the kicking of ass. The gang of gamers I know are planning to go see it again, even though they laughed about how stupid the dialogue was. Now I’m a bit leery about seeing it; I hate goddam narrators.

  31. J— said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:36

    Maybe you all have seen this before, but I’m currently marveling at Dr. Mike S. Adams’ photo gallery of himself, Dr. Mike S. Adams.

  32. ifthethunderdontgetya®© said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:43

    J–, his carrot is even bigger than teh shrub’s!

  33. tigrismus said,

    March 15, 2007 at 3:52

    I’m confused: is Dr. Professor Mike S. Adams admitting he thinks not being gay is difficult and confining? Or is he saying the men who say he’s gay are tight?

  34. sanitas said,

    March 15, 2007 at 4:04

    alternate shorter virgin ben:

    I’ll give you $70 million reasons why we should glass Iran.

  35. Some Guy said,

    March 15, 2007 at 4:09

    The true irony of the 300-idolization is that none of the chicken hawks would have survived the baby inspection nor the ten year death boot camp.

  36. J— said,

    March 15, 2007 at 4:28

    ifthethunderdontgetya: I especially like the picture of the handgun casually placed on top of a copy of Cigar Aficionado. I call it “Fetish with Magazine on Fetish Magazine.”

  37. Albatross said,

    March 15, 2007 at 4:43

    “300″ is ‘Spartacus’ for neocons.

  38. Irion said,

    March 15, 2007 at 4:46

    Seriously, though, the people seeing this film in droves are the gamers and the geeks like me who love the genre so much we can overlook bad dialogue and overacting. The attraction has nothing to do with “good v. evil,� it’s all about the action, the swordplay, the kicking of ass.

    And tits!

    I’m on the left and I liked 300 too. It’s a stylized action movie based on a stylized comic book based on a historic event. Since it’s already 2 degrees removed from reality, I wasn’t looking for anything other than good action and boobies. I got both FTW!!

  39. ifthethunderdontgetya®© said,

    March 15, 2007 at 5:12

    Imagine how much the Right To Life is crying in their beer.

  40. MzNicky said,

    March 15, 2007 at 5:21

    Oh dear Lord. If Joyce Carol Oates weren’t still alive, she’d be rolling in her grave.

  41. Aquagirl said,

    March 15, 2007 at 5:27

    All right, y’all, sorry to go all link-ho on you, but it’s your fault. The comic they have as an ad over there is appallingly racist.

  42. Aquagirl said,

    March 15, 2007 at 5:28

    Whoops, I didn’t go all link-ho on you, my link disappeared. Okay, click the new and improved linky aquagirl name instead!

  43. EdsAppliance said,

    March 15, 2007 at 5:48

    The best description of 300 I read was, “The Battle of Thermopylae retold as a series of shitty album covers.”

  44. Matt T. said,

    March 15, 2007 at 6:40

    The best description of 300 I read was, “The Battle of Thermopylae retold as a series of shitty album covers.�

    Maybe Frank Miller was a big Molly Hatchet fan.

  45. teh l4m3 said,

    March 15, 2007 at 7:12

    Heh-heh-heh, Ssssssssnow

    Ahhh, memories. IIRC, his video was even played a few times on BET before people started complaining. (And we’re talking back in the day, when Mary J. still wore her over-sized jerseys, backwards caps, and big-ass coke-can curls.)

  46. Far away said,

    March 15, 2007 at 11:10

    Gosh that Mike Adams has an interesting writing style. I never realised that the art of writing columns simply involves the accumulation of as many personal anecdotes as possible. Is there good money to be made from this sort of writing?

    I particularly liked his reference to Coulter’s “recent outing of John Edwards”. Where I come from “outing” usually means that the person is in fact gay.

    Does Mike Adams have some additional evidence that he is keeping back from the audience? (I must admit I didn’t make it beyond the first page.)

  47. Thlayli said,

    March 15, 2007 at 11:21

    Orbital Be-bop!

  48. merlallen said,

    March 15, 2007 at 12:34

    Mike Adams is gay.

  49. Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian said,

    March 15, 2007 at 13:01

    For example, when Karl Rove accuses the Democrats of voting fraud.

    Buahahahahahahahaha! With extra hahas! And extra !!!!!

    Buahahafnrrgggnngggllll (hand clamped over mouth) gggnnfffbuahahahannnnffgggrrrggg!

  50. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    March 15, 2007 at 13:08

    It is no surprise that the Iranian regime — the embodiment of evil in today’s world — objects to a movie

    Me, I’m hoping that young Mr Shapiro continues with this idea, and writes an entire movie guide: “The 100 Movies Most Disliked by the Iranian Regime”. It would be a refreshingly new approach to choosing which DVDs to hire.

  51. LittlePig said,

    March 15, 2007 at 14:27

    So the Virgin Ben is objectively pro-pederasty. Interesting.

    there can be good, there can be evil, and that good must be willing to withstand evil’s best efforts to annihilate it.

    As long as it helps us defeat those evil Iranians, NAMBLA is a-ok for Mr. Shapiro. Hope he gets his Sacred Band application in on time.

  52. J— said,

    March 15, 2007 at 14:36

    Ahhh, memories. IIRC, his video was even played a few times on BET before people started complaining.

    Yes, it was. He had MC Shan in it to show he was legit.

    World on the street is that Snow has a new album coming out this year.

  53. J— said,

    March 15, 2007 at 15:07

    Word on the street, too.

  54. Leonard Pierce said,

    March 15, 2007 at 15:37

    Says Li’l’ Benny:

    At another point, over footage of Spartans graphically slaughtering the oncoming hordes of Persian dictator Xerxes, Wenham intensely growls, “We do what we’ve been trained to do. We do what we’ve been bred to do. We do what we were born to do.” There are no descriptors for this kind of purposeful anti-subtlety.

    Oh, sure there are! How about “Townhallian”? “Shapirofic”? “Coulteresque”? “Hansonoid”? “Malkinary”?

  55. Spirula said,

    March 15, 2007 at 17:43

    We oppose generous welfare benefits because such programs reward misfortune

    As demonstrated by the attitudes of the admin. and its loyalist regarding the Katrina victims.

    “We’re not helping because we don’t want to reward you for having the misfortune of being poor and having too much melanin in your skin. That’ll teach you to not be an unfortunate victims, you bastards.”

  56. Spirula said,

    March 15, 2007 at 17:45

    (damn AWOL preview button) “victim”

  57. tigrismus said,

    March 15, 2007 at 18:35

    Heck, Leonard Pierce, what about good old “blatant propaganda?”

  58. The Devil's Advocate said,

    March 15, 2007 at 21:24

    The only good thing about 300 is that it caused some people to read the actual history of Sparta and the Battle of Thermopylae. That was fascinating stuff.

    The movie itself would have been a helluva lot more compelling without all the historical inaccuracies Miller and his peeps wove into it. Take the Ephors, for example, and the Judas hunch-back; those people actually existed, but none of them was deformed. The Ephors were in fact elected officials – and, what’s more, they offered a certain amount of support to Leonidas in his mission to hold the Hot Gates.

    Miller’s use of deformity to convey evil – Xerxes’ “Immortalsâ€? were likewise afflicted – pissed me off, and it should have pissed off the pro-life crowd as much as the favorable treatment of ‘exposure.’

    That scene where Leonidas killed the wolf? Um, no. It was more likely hat he was found worthy by killing Helots (i.e., land-bound serfs).

    And finally, the Spartans were no different from the rest of Greece in their acceptance of pederasty. That jibe one character made near the beginning of the movie about Greek boy-lovers was pretty stupid, considering how much Spartans valued that same activity.

    So the Spartans, though they possessed some supremely admirable qualities, were by no means paragons of human decency as measured by today’s standards.

    VBen doesn’t care that the movie plays fast and loose with history so long as it pits good against evil. And he doesn’t care that this ‘black and white’ contest never actually happened; he would like for it to have happened.

    Since most of the people who slammed 300 for its inaccuracy weren’t interested in playing historical make-believe to justify their modern politics, VBen feels justified in criticizing them.

  59. Realist said,

    March 15, 2007 at 23:26

    Dr. Professor Mike sez:

    “certainly you remember playing ‘smear the queer’ in grade school”

    No, Dr. Professor Mike, I can’t say that I do. And I went to grade school back in the ’50s, not exactly the most enlightened period in American history.

    Of course, I went to grade school in Michigan, not some racist shithole in the deep South.

  60. Gerard de Nerval said,

    March 16, 2007 at 5:42

    Townhall.com… Because it does not bark, and it knows the secrets of the sea.

  61. Marq said,

    March 16, 2007 at 12:05

    Ooh! “Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop)” by Q-Feel! Nice.

  62. Sadly, No! » Super Wingnut: Rich Lowry said,

    August 16, 2007 at 19:36

    [...] there are problems with the Mayor’s stance on abortion, but such wrinkles are what hacks like Lowry are born to smooth. It’s obvious that Lowry would like social-cons to get over their [...]

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