Comments on: More predictable than a Norbizness Caption Contest

By: Dr. BDH

Dr. BDH — Sun, 16 May 2004 06:25:13 +0000

“It would be a real shame if the Wall Street Journal, which first reported on this leaked secret Red Cross document on Friday, May 7th, were to realize how hypocritical it is to complain about the possible leftwing bias of the Red Cross while it tries to smear anyone, from Joseph Wilson to Richard Clarke to the Red Cross, who dares to criticize the Bush Administration. That would ruin its longheld status as lapdog to the Republican right wing, and it won’t take that path now, by golly!”

By: John Powers

John Powers — Sat, 15 May 2004 17:48:30 +0000

To the parents of Lynndie England, I regret ordering your daughter to abuse Iraqi prisoners by having sex in front of them, on camera, with several American soldiers. This was her patriotic duty, and she did it for god and country. You should be proud. – Donald rumsfeld

By: Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney — Sat, 15 May 2004 08:15:18 +0000

The Wall Street Journal editorial page is the best op-ed page the United States has ever had. People ought to let it do its job.

By: patrick

patrick — Sat, 15 May 2004 07:20:35 +0000

I should amend that to say “the one American POW that we KNOW ABOUT that the Iraqis ever held.”

oversight.

My bad.

Norbizness rules, by the way.

By: patrick

patrick — Sat, 15 May 2004 07:19:40 +0000

Y’know, if you go here there’s a great article about how the torture at Abu Ghraib violated the Geneva Convention over and over and over again.

I mean, clearly none of these people know a damn thing about the Geneva Convention past their recollection of it being mentioned on Hogan’s Heroes once in a while.

Had these been American prisoners in Iraqi custody a year ago, Iraq would be a smoking crater from border to border. The one American POW that the Iraqis ever held, Jessica Lynch, apparently received medical care and was treated like a human being. I mean, if you ask her, instead of believing the propaganda machine.

The Fertile Crescent between the Tigris and the Euphrates has been called the Cradle of Civilization for a Century or more. Why do these people hate civilization?

By: Peanut

Peanut — Sat, 15 May 2004 04:25:02 +0000

Hard to top glenstonecottage, but here goes ... Yes, there was rape, torture, murder and terror, but the real scandal is that someone committed adultery. The U.S. Army has filed criminal charges including adultery against Military Police Cpl. Charles A. Graner in connection with the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, a senior U.S. officer announced Friday. (05/14/04 AP/Baghdad [reg]) Anticipated: claims that the torturers' bad posture and tendency to cuss reflect poorly on the military.

By: norbizness

norbizness — Sat, 15 May 2004 01:07:07 +0000

Well, at least make my name turn into a link. This is insult and injury!

By: Scaramouche

Scaramouche — Sat, 15 May 2004 01:02:11 +0000

Concluding cutting-edge research on international law, our quest for a successful interrogation model utilizes 360-degree feedback to gauge de-evolutionary not revolutionary game plans. Our regrets are regrettable.

–Don Rumsfeld

Our regrets from the valuation picture alone, leveraging Iraqi postitons brings a strategic presence to an enterpise-wide value framework.

–Paul Wolfowitz

By: Doug Gillett

Doug Gillett — Fri, 14 May 2004 23:29:51 +0000

Hey glenstone, replace “Hermann Goering” with “Ann Coulter” and it sounds just as natural.

Anyway, here’s mine:

“It would be a real tragedy if anyone tried to drive a wedge between me and one of my best friends by speculating on what we talk about during our duck-hunting trips.” ? Dick Cheney

By: agrajag

agrajag — Fri, 14 May 2004 22:00:47 +0000

wait, one more…

“It is a terrible shame that this small band of terrorists continues trying to incite the populace of these lands against us, for without our aid they would be bereft of leadership and incapable of managing their backwards civilization.”

-King George, 1773

By: agrajag

agrajag — Fri, 14 May 2004 21:52:42 +0000

Fuck.

Glenstone wins.

But what the hell…

“It would be a shame if the Surgeon General politicized his nonpartisan and highly respected office by continuing these baseless accusations that cigarettes ’cause lung cancer’.”

-Phillip Morris

By: glenstonecottage

glenstonecottage — Fri, 14 May 2004 21:33:54 +0000

Never mind that US troops abused Iraqi prisoners, the real scandal is that the Red Cross didn’t help keep the abuses secret.

Hermann Goering, 1946: Never mind Aushwitz, the real scandal is that England, France and the United States didn’t help us fight international communism by invading Russia.

By: s.z.

s.z. — Fri, 14 May 2004 20:08:44 +0000

We say this with regret, because it would be a real shame if something should happen to your nice store here, but unless you pay us to protect you, something might ruin your long-held status of being in business. And alive.

Yeah, it would be a real shame if your store were to get torched with you inside it. And like I said, we would really regret it — for your widow’s and kids’ sake