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Friedman Comes Alive
All along, we thought that Tom Friedman was an overentitled globalist Babbitt whose endlessly-shifting rationales for supporting wars in the Middle East reflected the self-dealing priorities of the elite pundit class.
Well, that’s where thinking will get you. Today we find out that Tom Friedman just has a bit of a problem with Arabs:
The Silence That Kills
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN[...]
Occasionally an honest voice rises, giving you a glimmer of hope that others will stand up. The MEMRI translation Web site (memri.org) just posted a poem called “When,� from a Saudi author, Wajeha al-Huwaider, that was posted on Arab reform sites like www.aafaq.org.
See The Guardian* for an article on the Middle East Media Research Institute as an ‘impartial translation service.’ (The National Review, on the other hand, thinks it’s dandy.) The column continues:
When you cannot find a single garden in your city, but there is a mosque on every corner — you know that you are in an Arab country.
When you see people living in the past with all the trappings of modernity — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
When religion has control over science — you can be sure that you are in an Arab country.
When clerics are referred to as “scholars� — don’t be astonished, you are in an Arab country.
When you see the ruler transformed into a demigod who never dies or relinquishes his power, and nobody is permitted to criticize — do not be too upset, you are in an Arab country.
When you find that the large majority of people oppose freedom and find joy in slavery — do not be too distressed, you are in an Arab country.
When you hear the clerics saying that democracy is heresy, but seizing every opportunity provided by democracy to grab high positions — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
When you discover that a woman is worth half of what a man is worth, or less — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
When land is more important than human beings — you are in an Arab country. …
When fear constantly lives in the eyes of the people — you can be certain you are in an Arab country.
It seems we’ve heard this song before…
[Note: Splashcast player recycled. You only get three of 'em at a time, alas.]
We look forward to more of Mr. Friedman’s insightful policy analysis in future editions of Stormfront the paper of record.
* MEMRI’s founder, former Colonel Yigar Carmon of the Israeli Defense Forces’ intelligence branch, disputes the Guardian’s claim that MEMRI…you know, right-wing propaganda outfit associated with Israeli intelligence, and all that.
MCH said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:11
It’s funny how a good portion of those nuggets of Friedmanny goodness are seemingly applicable to the Bible Belt.
Jay B. said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:13
When idiot men in mustaches make racist generalizations? You in Arab country. Or in newsroom of New York Times.
When TV watches you instead of you watching TV, you in Soviet Union.
When you think the cooler is the finest seat in the house. Yep, you’re a redneck!
Chet Scoville said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:16
I really hate being fair to Friedman, but the excerpt you’ve quoted was not written by him; it’s a translation of a poem by Wajeha al-Huwaider, a Saudi journalist and women’s rights activist.
Chet Scoville said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:18
Sorry; the link is here.
Gavin M. said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:20
Yeah, it’s misleading. I’ll change it.
agum said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:21
“An op-ed published last Friday about the barbarity, perfidy and savagery of the Arab peoples was mistakenly credited to Tom Friedman. It was actually written by Marty Peretz, an unemployed anti-Arab activist.”
A Different Gary said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:22
When you cannot find a single garden in your city, but there is a church on every corner — you know that you are in Bush country.
When you see people living in the past with all the trappings of modernity — do not be surprised, you are in Bush country.
When religion has control over science — you can be sure that you are in Bush country.
When preachers are referred to as “experts� — don’t be astonished, you are in Bush country.
When you see the ruler transformed into a demigod who never dies or relinquishes his power, and nobody is permitted to criticize — do not be too upset, you are in Bush country.
When you find that the large majority of people oppose freedom and find joy in slavery — do not be too distressed, you are in Bush country.
When you hear the preachers saying that democracy is heresy, but seizing every opportunity provided by democracy to grab high positions — do not be surprised, you are in Bush country.
When you discover that a woman is worth half of what a man is worth, or less — do not be surprised, you are in Bush country.
When money is more important than human beings — you are in an Bush country. …
When fear and hatred constantly lives in the eyes of the people — you can be certain you are in Bush country.
dex said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:24
mr. friedman, please meet my friend, mr. breslin.
Jay B. said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:24
When you cannot find a single garden in your city, but there is a mosque on every corner — you know that you are in an Arab country.
NOTE: Arabs, almost by definition, live in the desert. What precious little arable land there is must be farmed so they don’t starve. In other Muslim countries, there are entire fields full of nothing but poppies, but we don’t hear about that from Mr. Globalist Greenthumb.
When you see people living in the past with all the trappings of modernity — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
Or Mississippi.
When religion has control over science — you can be sure that you are in an Arab country
Or working at the FDA.
When clerics are referred to as “scholars� — don’t be astonished, you are in an Arab country.
Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr: Idiot. Arab.
When you see the ruler transformed into a demigod who never dies or relinquishes his power, and nobody is permitted to criticize — do not be too upset, you are in an Arab country.
Or marooned in the Powerline server.
When you find that the large majority of people oppose freedom and find joy in slavery — do not be too distressed, you are in an Arab country.
Or inside the McCain war room.
When you hear the clerics saying that democracy is heresy, but seizing every opportunity provided by democracy to grab high positions — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
Or in Colorado Springs.
When you discover that a woman is worth half of what a man is worth, or less — do not be surprised, you are in an Arab country.
Unlike America, where women are now worth up to 75% of men.
When land is more important than human beings — you are in an Arab country…
This is true. Luckily, non-Arab countries have never fought wars over land.
When fear constantly lives in the eyes of the people — you can be certain you are in an Arab country.
But…Oh forget it.
Chet Scoville said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:24
It’s probably also worth pointing out that MEMRI.org, the website that posted the translation, has itself often been criticized for being selectively critical (in a, shall we say, Friedmanesque way) in what it chooses to post about the Middle East. Still…
TRex said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:27
This song is really really really beyond offensive.
Good.
Gavin M. said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:29
[added links to a Guardian piece and an NRO piece on MEMRI about 2 minutes ago]
Steve said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:29
I’m reminded of Hannity having that black wingnut guest on his show the other day to call Obama’s church a “cult.” In other things, if shit would be flat-out bigoted for you to say personally, it doesn’t help you to pretend that you’re just quoting a self-critical member of the race in question. This is how Thomas Sowell columns end up on white supremacist sites.
TRex said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:32
Gavin, you’ve got mail.
Brando said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:49
I want you
to show me the way
to Western-style parlimentary democracy
because my mosque-to-garden ration gets in the way-a-hey
Zoroastrian said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:51
memri – the other LGF
Jrod said,
March 2, 2007 at 22:53
When pompous idiots use big words and shady translations to denigrate the enemy, don’t fret, you’ve just arrived on the flat earth.
Some Guy said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:00
Attention Friedman shoppers, we have a large box of irony sitting in out Lost and Found. Please, check your belongings and see if you are missing any irony.
Seriously. Half that list should sound familiar to neocons and bushies.
mrs. ibrahim al-jafaari said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:02
Thanks ever so much for providing the full text, as only subscribers can get articles from behind the firewall at the MEMRI translation website
Porgy Tirebiter said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:07
Sheesh! That reads like one of those dumb-ass emails that wingnuts forward to each other.
MrWonderful said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:14
Jeebus, Mary and Joseph–
Where did you find that song? It makes me ashamed to be a biped.
atlasien said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:22
That’s not poetry, that’s a Jeff Foxworthy rip-off!
Lawnguylander said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:31
The blogosphere has nearly ruined my ability to take the NYT seriously. At least Feb. is over which means I don’t have to open to the op-ed pages and see Ann Althouse tomorrow. That’s right, for those of you who don’t know, Ann Fucking Althouse was a guest columnist in Feb. right across from Maureen Dowd. If it weren’t for the crossword puzzle I wouldn’t buy it all anymore. At least I’m down to 3 days a week now though.
OpratngJrgn said,
March 2, 2007 at 23:34
Oh dear.
That song. I am a Black man who has apparently been very sheltered.
I’ve heard songs with these kinds of themes before in Country/Western and in Rap; I always find them distressing. But this…
What a disappointment to humanity.
billy pilgrim said,
March 3, 2007 at 0:24
Come on, Opratng, that’s part of that White European Heritage the right is always praising.
Robert said,
March 3, 2007 at 1:19
Yeah, Jeff Foxworthy was my immediate thought as well. Just add a fake-ass accent and a riotous laugh track after each point.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
March 3, 2007 at 1:27
Has anyone mentioned that Tommy Fucking Friedman is a billionaire by marriage?
ahem said,
March 3, 2007 at 1:44
Has anyone mentioned that Friedman managed to skive off 237 words of his 791-word column by reprinting that poem — and probably more, since poetry has, y’know, spaces at the end of lines?
The lazy fucker.
Jeff said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:01
I find that song slightly offensive, though nothing as bad as a fat joke.
You're Cut Too, Shooshy said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:12
As bad as that is, my final opinion on that poem is not yet settled. I’ll need to read it a few more times, ruminate on it during long walks through the snow.
Just give me six months. I’ll let you know by then.
Hysterical Woman said,
March 3, 2007 at 3:09
That song. Oh my fucking god.
Though it reminds me of a story I read. From memory: A slaveowner talks with his slave, talking about heaven. “I had a dream last night that I went to Nigger Heaven. It was a dump. They’re was trash everywhere, the houses were fallen apart, and people were lying drunk in the streets.” In reply, the slave said, “Strange, I had a dream last night that I went to White People Heaven. It was wonderful. The house were big and beautiful, the streets were wide and clean, but the funny thing is that I didn’t see a single soul up there.”
RubDMC said,
March 3, 2007 at 3:57
For Freidman’s next act, I’d like to see him play around with the text enough to fit it to the tune of “That’s Amore!”
Sniper said,
March 3, 2007 at 4:04
Coon Town? Coon Town???!!!???
Where do you find this shit? Is there some kind of Hateful Wingnut Clearinghouse? Does this mean somebody wrote this “song”, dusted off the eraser shreds and thought, “Hey, this is great!”>
Although I have to admit it took me several seconds to realize it wasn’t about raccoons.
Djur said,
March 3, 2007 at 5:08
Just so y’all know, there are far worse Johnny Rebel songs. Far worse. He has a song in which he name-drops the NAACP and MLK. I am not going to name it.
Djur said,
March 3, 2007 at 5:09
Sniper: this is pre-wingnut. Johnny Rebel dates back to the sixties.
Sniper said,
March 3, 2007 at 5:21
The 1860s?
Robin said,
March 4, 2007 at 19:51
I had to re-write the list, too.
When the government bulldozes every Community Garden and leaves rubble strewn lots alone— you know that you are in Giuliani’s New York City.
When you see people living in the past with all the trappings of modernity — do not be surprised, you are in America.
When religion has control over science — you can be sure that you are in America.
When “scholarsâ€? graduate from ‘Bible College’ and claim it’s a real degree — don’t be astonished, you are in America.
When you see the ruler transformed into a demigod who can never be wrong and believes in the Unitary Executive, and nobody is permitted to criticize — do not say anything, you are in America.
When you find that the large majority of people oppose freedom and find joy in being oppressed — do not be too distressed, you are in America.
When you hear the clerics saying that democracy is freedom, but seizing every opportunity provided by democracy to attain more power to themselves by taking it from the other two branches of goverance — do not be surprised, you are in America.
When you discover that a woman is worth half of what a man is worth, or less — do not be surprised, you are in America.
When corporate citizens have more rights than human citizens — you are in America.
When fear constantly lives in the eyes of the people — you can be certain you are in America.
========
The first line is from my experience under the Fascist Party’s Mayor Giuliani’s rule in New York City, where he went on a bulldozing spree to destroy the cimmunuty gardens that were bringing neighborhoods together. Giuliana had them destroyed to give the land to real estate developers to build luxury condos on and at the same time leaving the rubble-strewn lot right across the street completely un-touched… That man is EVIL!…
Sadly, No! » Dumbing-Down The Word said,
April 29, 2008 at 14:11
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