Feb
12

Bwahaha




Posted at 11:33 by HTML Mencken

Wingnut history being what it is, there are often several layers of jokes-at-their-expense to peel away when one is confronted with their latest lines. An example: Clif at Outside the Tent points and laughs at John Podhoretz, who said, sarcasto-sneeringly, to Andrew Sullivan the following:

Andrew Sullivan Is Right [John Podhoretz]

Honestly, with all the pain in the world, how dare anyone laugh at anything? I agree, Andrew. You’ve sold me. I will never again make fun of anything. That is, except for your obsession with hairy backs. I reserve the right to laugh at that.

Clif of course is right to laugh at this, coming as it does from someone who could, like, have cornrows braided on his shoulders.


Above: Behold the unintentional comedy of a Human-Wookiee hybrid

But it’s also funny at the Pod Klan’s expense in another way. JPod, gay-baiting Sully The Bear, neatly contradicts his mother, Midge Decter’s, characterization of homosexuals, formulated in a legendarily homophobic essay titled ‘The Boys on the Beach’, that…well, you have to read it to appreciate it:

It was a constant source of wonder among us, and remains so to me to this day, that by far the largest number of homosexuals had hairless bodies. Chests, backs, arms, even legs, were smooth and silky, an impression strengthened by the fact that they were in addition frequently and scrupulously unguented to catch the full advantage of the sun’s ultra violet. We were never able to determine just why there should be so definite a connection between what is nowadays called their sexual “preference” and their smooth feminine skin. Was it a matter of hormones, or was there some constant special process of depilation? But smooth-skinned they were, and, like the most narcissistic of pretty young girls and women, made an absolute fetish of the dark and uniform suntan, devoting hours, days, weeks, to turning themselves carefully to the sun. Nor was
this tanning flesh ever permitted to betray any of the ordinary signs of encroaching mortality, such as excess fat or flabbiness or on the other hand the kind of muscularity that suggests some activity whose end is not beauty. In short, year by year homosexuals of all ages presented a never-ending spectacle, zealously and ruthlessly monitored, of tender adolescence.

So, Pod Klan, are homos prissy and smooth, or are they woolly and ursine — like, well, like John Podhoretz himself? Answer, please! Come up with some new stereotype, whydontcha?

For what it’s worth, JPod’s Daddy, Norman, argued, in an even-for-him rancid essay called ‘The Culture of Appeasement’, that because of the pernicious influence of homos in the culture, appeasement had triumphed in the West. Would that be because of smooth and effeminate homosexuals like the younger and jingoistic Andrew Sullivan, Norman, or because of the manly and hairly homosexuals like the current Andrew Sullivan, who practices realpolitik and is more cautious about war (yet is far from being accurately described as an ‘appeaser’)? Wingnuts. What a bunch of crazies.

38 Comments »

  1. HTML Mencken said,

    February 12, 2007 at 11:38

    Notes:

    Andrew Sullivan is an idiot whose ‘gay sociology’ is mostly garbage. Funnyn how Andy didn’t like men-who-let-themselves-go until he himself let himself go, became a ‘bear’.

    As for Norman Podhoretz, if anyone can send me a pdf of that essay, I’d be happy. I read it a long time ago but don’t have it now. As for his argument in it, aside the offensiveness, it doesn’t even stand-up on its stereotypical merits.Two words for the Senior Pod: ‘Yukio Mishima’. Homosexuals can be just as fascist as the average neoconservative, thank you very much.

  2. Col. Klink said,

    February 12, 2007 at 12:01

    Two more words “Jeff Gannon”

    O.K. I lied- a lot more words

    Ken Mehlman, Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Ernst Rohm, Ralph Reed (come on, he makes the Scissor Sisters guys look macho) Condi Rice (well, she’s not married right, and by Rightwing definitions something must be funny then)….

  3. Jillian said,

    February 12, 2007 at 12:03

    geez – what are y’all doing up at this hour?

  4. Jillian said,

    February 12, 2007 at 12:12

    And as far as fascist queers go……two more words: Ernst Rohm.

    Jeez, half the SA was gay under Rohm, and the SA were NOT nice guys.

    IIRC, there were also a couple of gay klaverns in the South during the civil rights era, as well.

    None of this is to say that gay people are more inclined toward totalitarian behavior than other people. This just points out that gay people are, first and foremost, people, and any stereotyping about them is pointless, because gays cover the whole spectrum of human behavior, from the desirable to the detestable.

  5. Jillian said,

    February 12, 2007 at 12:26

    As for Norman Podhoretz, if anyone can send me a pdf of that essay, I’d be happy.

    Check your email, Mr. Mencken.

  6. bargal20 said,

    February 12, 2007 at 14:00

    Re: Norman Podhhoretz,

    I offer you Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, who today joined the Australian Prime Minister in claiming Osama bin Laden is praying for a Democratic victory in ’08.

    Don’t let Downer’s wife and kids fool you. They aren’t fooling anyone else.

  7. Hairy Podhoretzâ„¢ said,

    February 12, 2007 at 14:41

    Awe, what would you leftists know?

    You’re all just a bunch of muggles!

  8. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 12, 2007 at 15:46

    The fact is, if gays are sometimes admirable and other timnes detestable, why do you leftists make them saints and give them special rights constantly?

  9. sohei said,

    February 12, 2007 at 15:55

    I hate to be one of those liberals that complains about ads on blogs… but, well, I need to complain about your ad. In the “Commercials” box today, there’s an add for a book called “Negrofascism” by Dinesh D’whateverthefuck, featuring a picture of an armed black man. Now, I’m pretty hard to offend, but that ad has managed to do the trick. Can’t you complain to Amazon about it or something? It can’t be worth whatever they’re paying you to display it.

  10. False Prophet said,

    February 12, 2007 at 15:55

    If gays are sometimes admirable and other times detestable, that would make them…just like everyone else! Which would incline them to the same rights as everyone else.

  11. Marq said,

    February 12, 2007 at 15:57

    Midge was, of course, painting with far too broad a brush. The vast majority of queers I’ve met were as hairy or hairless as their genetic makeup dictated. IOW, all over the map. The only group I’m aware of that almost universally are as hairless as a newborn, and in way more areas than Midge mentions, are “exotic” dancers/strippers.

    Not that I know anything about strippers.

  12. False Prophet said,

    February 12, 2007 at 15:58

    sohei, if you go to Atrios right this minute, there’s a banner from the Catholic League claiming “Condoms Don’t Save Lives”.

    Personally, I am amused by the fact the money of my ideological enemies is lining the progressive blogosphere’s pockets.

  13. tigrismus said,

    February 12, 2007 at 16:14

    “Unguented,” for when “anointed” just isn’t pretentious (or correct) enough. And her sexual frustration is palpable in that essay: she sounds like a starving diabetic at a candy conference.

  14. tigrismus said,

    February 12, 2007 at 16:20

    Neither of those are “ads,” guys, they are jokes, goofing on the Catholic League’s dishonesty and D’Souza’s racism.

  15. RubDMC said,

    February 12, 2007 at 16:26

    Maybe JPod’s ready for a man-o-lantern?

  16. Hysterical Woman said,

    February 12, 2007 at 16:34

    Gary, when same-sex marriage is legalized, you can marry a man. You don’t have to be gay, I promise you.

  17. Snag said,

    February 12, 2007 at 17:08

    You’d think Pod would be more worried about global warming, now that his ice floe has melted.

  18. nolo said,

    February 12, 2007 at 17:17

    sohei, if you go to Atrios right this minute, there’s a banner from the Catholic League claiming “Condoms Don’t Save Lives�.

    Personally, I am amused by the fact the money of my ideological enemies is lining the progressive blogosphere’s pockets.

    I thought the same thing you did until I actually clicked on the link. I think you’ll be surprised.

  19. Col. Klink said,

    February 12, 2007 at 17:19

    Liebe False Prophet!

    If gays are sometimes admirable and other times detestable, that would make them…just like everyone else! Which would incline them to the same rights as everyone else.

    I was going to go with “they are human beings just like everyone else,” but I figured Ruppert wouldn’t grasp the concept.

  20. sohei said,

    February 12, 2007 at 18:05

    Oops… I suspected, but didn’t realize, that the ad was a joke. I’m a humorless ass and I apologize. I should’ve known better.

    I didn’t click on the link because I didn’t want to give the book any support.

    Again, many apologies, and thanks for the clarification.

  21. jade said,

    February 12, 2007 at 18:08

    Look, I know it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish parody from reality but COME ON you guys, this is getting embarrassing.

    Gary Ruppert with blue link to “rupperteria” => fake
    Negrofascism by D’Souza => fake

    Okay?

  22. Joe in SF said,

    February 12, 2007 at 18:14

    Don’t forget that Andy did refer to Ann Coulter as “hot.”

    Sully is a man who clings to a church that belittles gay people, backs up his case by quoting a lesbian who despises effeminate men, and claims to be open-minded while trashing men who don’t fit his version of desirable.

    Andy, groove on whatever you want to. If you need to write outraged essays, your Catholic hierararchy provides plenty of topics to expound on.

  23. billy pilgrim said,

    February 12, 2007 at 18:51

    You mean I’m the first to call Fake Gary?

    Because , COME ON!

    The fact is, if gays are sometimes admirable and other timnes detestable, why do you leftists make them saints and give them special rights constantly?

    That is so close to actual comprehension that it’s just too weird. Plus, no Factis or Dustbin O’ Hist’ree.

    It would imply that this edition of the Garybot is capable of learning.

  24. mikey said,

    February 12, 2007 at 19:20

    Gavin, perhaps you should consider the possiblity that you have become overly subtle?

    mikey

  25. Clif said,

    February 12, 2007 at 19:59

    I want to chime in with HTML that in making fun of JPod, I was not implicitly defending Andrew, whom I find loathsome. One used to see Andy around DC before he went bear and he was priggish and intolerable even then.

  26. prozacula said,

    February 12, 2007 at 20:35

    you know, I think hitler was gay.

    just sayin’

  27. defenestrated said,

    February 12, 2007 at 20:39

    Thanks for that picture. I’ve been in a dry spell, but I think now it’s going to be weeks before I can think of sex again. You’ve decreased my frustration!

    cornrows…ew….

  28. islmfaoscist said,

    February 12, 2007 at 20:41

    It was a constant source of wonder among us, and remains so to me to this day…

    Constantly wondering about homosexuality, but in a completely heterosexual way of course.

  29. billy pilgrim said,

    February 12, 2007 at 21:12

    Doesn’t that get itchy?

    Mike and the bots invented the Raz-R-Bak just for him.

  30. GeoX said,

    February 12, 2007 at 21:22

    Mishima may have been kind of a fascist, but he was also kind of a literary genius, putting him miles ahead of today’s neofascists.

  31. spencer said,

    February 12, 2007 at 21:40

    Gavin, perhaps you should consider the possiblity that you have become overly subtle?

    Before you know it, he’ll be going all Andy Kaufman on us.

  32. NoOneYouKnow said,

    February 12, 2007 at 22:01

    The comparisons to Rohm and the SA may be closer than we know. Among the Republicans about whom rumors swirl (like Brian Boitano) are Orrin Hatch (he’s awfully shiny), Denny Hastert (apparently lives with his “chief of staff” [a-heh!] in DC while the missus lives in whereever he’s from), and even W. himself. I wish I could find the photo essay of lots of photos of W. rubbing the heads of bald men with a picture of Jeff Gannon attached. Of course, these are only rumors… .

  33. Ann Althouse said,

    February 12, 2007 at 23:16

    Well, it’s not like there are any homoerotic aspects to the military culture they love, or the initiation rituals of skull n bones and the like. Not at all.
    N yeah, I could easily believe W is gay but lacks the intelligence or self-awareness to realize it in any conscious way. The folk I knew at boarding school that remind me of him were big on closeted gay male bonding, between calling people fags, that is. And that whole Laura threatened to stop sleeping with him so he quit drinkin n druggin thing just doesn’t fly for me. First off, not being able to sleep with Laura Bush doesn’t sound like a punishment to me. Second, ummm, alcoholic cokeheads don’t tend to be monogamous. Ain’t like that adds up to W smokes cock, but still, like everything else ever claimed by any member of that family, the why Georgie stopped drinking story is hard to believe.

  34. a different brad said,

    February 12, 2007 at 23:17

    Oops. I didn’t mean to be such a balanced centrist in that comment. My bad.

  35. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    February 12, 2007 at 23:34

    smooth-skinned they were… like the most narcissistic of pretty young girls and women
    It’s kind of nice that Midge Decter is even-handed in her disdain. She might not like gays, but she dislikes women just as much.

  36. TRex said,

    February 13, 2007 at 0:33

    So, Pod Klan, are homos prissy and smooth, or are they woolly and ursine — like, well, like John Podhoretz himself? Answer, please! Come up with some new stereotype, whydontcha?

    We are green and scaly.

  37. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    February 13, 2007 at 4:13

    Before you know it, he’ll be going all Andy Kaufman on us.

    He’s gonna beat the shit out of Michael Richards?h

  38. Smiling Mortician said,

    February 13, 2007 at 6:14

    Orrin Hatch? Say what you will, but I just don’t think that’s who Brian Boitano’d do.

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