Jan
11
11
Bush Speech Open Drinking Thread
On September the 11th, 2001, we saw what a refuge for extremists on the other side of the world could bring to the streets of our own cities…
[dook-dook] Aaah!
Oh wow, is anyone else getting drunk already?
Update 9:35PM EST:
Woop-woop! Exclusive! Must credit Sadly, No!
In last line of speech, President Bush will call upon Steven Coonts to “guide [America] through these trying hours.”
John Owens said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:27
Yeah, this Dr. Pepper is going straight to my head.
ifthethunderdontgetya³² said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:28
Yeah, but I didn’t get to type SHROOMS!, I was really hoping for that one. *sniff*
funkyb0ss said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:31
That dude can read a teleprompter like a motherfucker.
funkyb0ss said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:34
24000/150000=.16
welcome to the 16% solution
nightlight said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:41
John Stuart Mill?
nightlight said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:43
Damn! Didn’t see the update in time.
Gavin M. said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:43
John Stuart Mill?
Oh, maybe so. I was figuring Stephen Coonts.
Bill said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:46
I think Beckett is the author of liberty in Iraq.
Just say God– isn’t “Author of liberty” just as weaselly as “Happy Holidays?” Stop declaring a War on God!!
J— said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:46
Or he could’ve been referring to Kimberly Iverson.
His Grace said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:48
No amount of alcohol could ever make this speech good.
Snowwy said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:48
J,
Yeah, that’s the one. It has to be. It’s pure fantasy, the only truth Bushie knows.
nightlight said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:54
Word, J. Forget Mill, Iverson is the obvious choice for a bold new policy initiative. From the Amazon review of Liberty
steve_e said,
January 11, 2007 at 4:55
Ok, now we’re going to win. Finally. All we need are some massive tour extensions and we’ll really make it this time.
Now don’t transmit any more morale-sapping psychic energy to the troops, ya bums.
The Decider said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:02
video
I guess he forgot.
Smiling Mortician said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:16
Holy shit, Decider. That’s a real quote? I mean, I’m not surprised but still I — GAH!!! I forgot to restock the liquor cabinet today. Maybe ITTDGY could share some hallucinogens? Did I mention how much I like the woopwoop lights?
J— said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:19
Bush says, “…and there were too many restrictions on the troops we did have.”
Wingnuts go BOING.
Otto Man said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:23
I can’t wait for the part where he wheels in Sly Stallone and gets him to ask, “Do we get to win this time?”
Lock and load, Rambo.
Dave said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:26
Dear Author of Liberty,
In this, your ongoing saga, one has difficulty discerning the genre you are working in. Have you become a postmodernist? At the beginning, we understood we were in an epic, with its noble heroes and warriors setting off across the sea to show bravery and win honor to marching tunes on CNN. Then we saw our failure and our slaughter and imagined we were in a tragedy. A noble undertaking (according to the main characters) undone by hubris. Then added to the mix was a factor of repetition–repeated failure, repeated implementation of failed strategy. Tragedy turned to absurdity, and absurdity bled into farce. Author, I believe you have stumbled into a horrific genre, the construction of which even you, even in your omnipotence, cannot control. What can we call it? Perhaps, “fabsurgedy” (with a convenient emphasis on surge!).
O Liberiffic Author, we beg: Enough with the commas already. We want a full stop.
Snowwy said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:36
Dave,
that’s beautiful, man. Do you think Ms. Iverson will heed your cry?
luminous beauty said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:40
Somewhere Sisyphus is thinking, “Hey, I ain’t got it so bad.”
ifthethunderdontgetya³² said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:43
Ottoman, if only those liberals who control Congress hadn’t halted funding for the explosive arrow programs these last four years, Iraq would already be a peaceful democracy called Halliburtistanâ„¢.
Otto Man said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:49
Actually, the metaphor’s not that far off. Like Rambo, our soldiers are underequipped and forced to forage for themselves for protection.
Dave said,
January 11, 2007 at 5:55
I hope so, Snowwy. I hope so.
John Owens said,
January 11, 2007 at 6:16
J–:
And I really liked the part where he said the people on the ground need more flexibility in how they can spend money. Because, you know, there was just too much accountability before when a few million went missing. Someone almost got caught!
… ah, here’s the exact quote:
By the way, I’m not so sure about this one, but did he say “IDE attacks” when he meant “IED attacks”?
Douglas Watts said,
January 11, 2007 at 7:55
Bush says, “…and there were too many restrictions on the troops we did have.�
Yeah. Like a lot of them suddenly caught the “dead” thing and the “blown off limbs” thing.
FlipYrWhig said,
January 11, 2007 at 8:01
Well, another author of “Liberty” is James Thomson, who published a LONG poem on the subject in 1734. But, being that it has to do with the corruptions of republics and the demises of empires, I don’t think Gee Dub really wants Jemmy Thomson to be the guiding spirit for his little venture.
Anne Laurie said,
January 11, 2007 at 9:02
Somewhere Sisyphus is thinking, “Hey, I ain’t got it so bad.�
“At least I’m just pushing a rock, not a ball of shit big enough to be stuffed with 3,000 corpses… “
Rell said,
January 11, 2007 at 14:48
Well, on your checklist, I have ten of the thirteen. I just cannot be sure about the last one.
I can make an edumacated guess. Eleven of the thirteen!
Sammy said,
January 11, 2007 at 16:58
Word, J. Forget Mill, Iverson is the obvious choice for a bold new policy initiative.
Fuck him. Little diva got himself traded to the Nugs, they can have him.
(editors, please flag this comment one day late and one dollar short.)
Adorable Girlfriend said,
January 11, 2007 at 18:33
Forget the martinis. AG wants the same bong hits Dum Dum took before he wrote that speech.