28
Q: What Would Jesus Do?
A: He’d KILL, KILL, KILL!!!
It’s been a while since WorldNetDaily has featured a book as hilarious as this one:
Just check out the summary:
What would you do if armed terrorists burst into your church during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?
First, I’d grab the woman with the largest breasts and pull her to my side. Then I’d rip off my shirt and pull out a pair of poison-tipped, laser-guided katana blade rocket-launchers. And then I’d be like, “HEY!!! TERRORISTS!!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH BRADROCKET’S CHOP-SOCKY??!!! KEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!! BLAM, BLAM!!!!”
And that’s what I’d do.
Would you be prepared to defend yourself and other innocents with deadly force – and would you be justified in doing so?
You bet your ass! Sign me up, WorldNetDaily! Tell me how I can defend large-breasted Christian chicks from terror!!!
The only person in the world who has not only experienced this exact scenario firsthand, but who shot back against the terrorists and defended fellow churchgoers – and went on to write one of the most powerful books ever on the right and duty of Christians to be armed – is South African Charl van Wyck.
Thou shalt kill! Verily, thou shalt!
Gavin adds: Why do I suspect that he shot black people on behalf of apartheid? Just musing here.
In “Shooting Back: The Right and Duty of Self-Defense,” van Wyk makes a biblical, Christian case for individuals arming themselves with guns, and does so more persuasively than perhaps any other author because he found himself in a church attacked by terrorists.
“Grenades were exploding in flashes of light. Pews shattered under the blasts, sending splinters flying through the air,” he recalls of the July 25, 1993, St. James Church Massacre. “An automatic assault rifle was being fired and was fast ripping the pews – and whoever, whatever was in its trajectory – to pieces. We were being attacked!”
But van Wyk was not defenseless that day. Had he been unarmed like the other congregants, the slaughter would have been much worse.
“Instinctively, I knelt down behind the bench in front of me and pulled out my .38 special snub-nosed revolver, which I always carried with me,” he writes in “Shooting Back.” “I would have felt undressed without it. Many people could not understand why I would carry a firearm into a church service, but I argued that this was a particularly dangerous time in South Africa.”
Man, this book is giving me such a boner. Who knew that going to church could be so satisfying? You can bring guns in, you can drink wine, you can shoot people who mess with you… man, it’s like some gangsta rap album. “Straight Outta Communion,” baby!
Using his personal and high-profile story as a launch-pad, van Wyk wrote “Shooting Back” – which instantly became a South African bestseller, as well as a bestseller for WND, which imported thousands of copies of the original book for sale online to audiences in the U.S. and around the world.
But it was always a challenge maintaining supplies to meet the demand.
So now, to kick off the New Year, WND Books has published, for the first time in the U.S., an updated, revised and repackaged edition of “Shooting Back” by Charl van Wyk.
“I am honored to be a part of this historic undertaking – the republishing of this classic work in the United States,” said Joseph Farah, founder of WND Books and editor and chief executive officer of WND. “We have been working on this for more than three years. Now everyone can read this amazing and important story, which has applications in terror-stricken America and for Christians and Jews throughout the world.”
“The next time an ACLU weenie tries to ban a creche in your town? BLAM! Cap that muthafucka!”
Far from being just a reliving of the tragedy of the St. James Church Massacre, “Shooting Back” is a thorough examination of the whole issue of armed self-defense from a Christian perspective. It deals with burning questions that plague all conscience-driven people:
-Should we carry arms?
Of course we should.
-When is it appropriate to defend ourselves and our families?
WHENEVER WE DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT.
What can we do when our freedom to carry arms is legislated away from us?
WE KILL, KILL, KILL!!!!!!
Using the Bible as his guidepost, van Wyk makes the case that Christians not only have the right but the duty to defend themselves and other innocents from such aggression.
But this amazing true story doesn’t end there. It’s also about redemption and reconciliation. Several of the church members who were injured or who lost family members in the attacks, as well as van Wyk, later met with and forgave some of their repentant attackers.
BOOOOO!!!! SCREW THAT!!!! I WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT DEATH!!! ABOUT KILLING!!! ABOUT DOING ALL THOSE THINGS JESUS TOLD YOU NOT TO!!!!! THAT’S THE TRUE CHRISTIAN WAY!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(pant… pant…)
OK, I’ve gotten out all my aggression for one night. I hope you enjoyed reading about this wonderful and informative book. And for any of you thinking of going to church next week? PACK SOME DAMN HEAT. It’s what Jesus would want.
Jillian said,
December 28, 2006 at 3:41
And now, thanks to reading this, I have “Kung Fu Fighting” stuck in my head, where it will undoubtedly be for the rest of the evening.
Thanks, dude. Thanks a lot.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 28, 2006 at 3:43
Here’s some Mo’ Killin’ for those who haven’t (unlike Brad R.) got their yayas out yet.
Note reference to pre-drunken neocon Hitch.
funkyb0ss said,
December 28, 2006 at 3:45
I always make it a point to be strapped when I attend my place of worship, the Spearmint Rhino on the I-40 frontage road.
Karatist Preacher said,
December 28, 2006 at 3:56
That’s how I roll on the sabbath.
Lesley said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:02
Thanks for the memories.
mikey said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:06
What would you do if armed terrorists burst into your church during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?
Well, I’d…Wha????.. Waitaminute. Hunh? This is how likely to happen? This poor mofo’s just crazy…
mikey
LA Confidential Pantload said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:09
Damn you. Damn you the fuck to hell. If Baby Jeebus supported apartheid, you should, too.
g said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:26
,i>The only person in the world who has not only experienced this exact scenario firsthand,
I haven’t finished reading this post but I had to write something NOW, in response to this fucking shit.
Because it’s fucking sad, a fucking TRAGEDY how short peoples’ memories are, to forget the scores of Rwandan Tutsis who took refuge in Catholic churches and were massacred there by Hutus, and in many cases by Hutu priests and nuns.
I don’t know anything about this author, but I’d bet, I’d just BET that he wasn’t all that fucking thrilled about helping Tutsi refugees during the Rwandan genocide.
OK. Sorry if I posted before reading, but this just got my blood boiling.
g said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:26
The only person in the world who has not only experienced this exact scenario firsthand,
I haven’t finished reading this post but I had to write something NOW, in response to this fucking shit.
Because it’s fucking sad, a fucking TRAGEDY how short peoples’ memories are, to forget the scores of Rwandan Tutsis who took refuge in Catholic churches and were massacred there by Hutus, and in many cases by Hutu priests and nuns.
I don’t know anything about this author, but I’d bet, I’d just BET that he wasn’t all that fucking thrilled about helping Tutsi refugees during the Rwandan genocide.
OK. Sorry if I posted before reading, but this just got my blood boiling.
Candy said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:29
I never felt the need to pack a weapon to Mass in good old St. Pat’s, but the Knights of Columbus hall on nickel draw night, well, that was another story, know what I’m sayin’? And Bingo? Hell, Kung Fu Fighting was the friggin’ theme song!
g said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:33
Oh, crap. Sorry.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:53
Dec 28
Q: What Would Jesus Do?
A: He’d KILL, KILL, KILL!!! teh Poor!11!!
P.S. Shouldn’t this be the shrub administration theme song?
Lalasnake said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:53
Let’s hear it for gunfights in churches!
J— said,
December 28, 2006 at 4:55
What the World Net Daily book blurb doesn’t mention is the reconciliation that has been achieved in post-apartheid South Africa between the Azanian People’s Liberation Army members responsible for this and other attacks and the victims and their families, including Charl van Wyk.
Also, the APLA was integrated into the South African National Defense Force in 1994.
mt said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:07
As an alter boy we were strapped with IED’s in case things got out of hand.
TC said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:11
Boy, church has changed.
TC said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:16
Using this guy’s logic, we should all carry parachutes into any building over four stories tall, in case the building is attacked by terrorists using airplanes as missiles….
But then I remember that after 9/11, that was proposed as a solution also.
There are some full-goose bozo loonies running around loose Out There.
His Grace said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:18
Dammit, your own church could be seconds away from a terrorist attack. If you and your militia aren’t armed to the teeth whilst praying, they could get you. Better yet, your church needs some sort of nuclear deterrent just in case Iran gets the bomb.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:20
His Grace, doesn’t that mean Homeland Security™³ would be best served by praying under your bed? (After said prayer zone was cleared of monsters and islamohomofascists first, of course.)
Some Guy said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:31
…
http://www.sijun.com/dhabih/portfolio/images/gordon3.jpg A chruch go-er fending off terrorists.
No. Some dudes bust into your church with automatic weapons? Yeah, you die.
What is wrong with some people? I see guys with AK-47s and AR-15s, and I got a Sig 226? I’m running.
Put the whole “gun controll” issue aside; this fantasy of defending yourself from crazies is crazy. There are any number of instances where law enforcement, not untrained, bumpkiss civies, but law enforcement agents have gone up against heavily armed bad guys and got their ass handed to them.
Don’t know how in fuck’n hell this dude supposedly stopped a mass attack with full-auto rifles and grenades with a goddamn .38 special. Best (and uninformed) guess is that the attack was over when he started shooting back.
islmfaoscist said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:31
A .38 snubnose in church? Simply unnecessary.
If some NewsMax reader would just mail this poor untrained guy their no-longer-needed copy of The Lost Art of Power-throwing Secrets he could have used his car keys. Or a pencil. Or a paper clip. Or maybe the crucifix that’s dangling between the bouncy, curvaceous breasts of that blonde under his arm.
mmm...lemonheads said,
December 28, 2006 at 5:45
Pack when worshipping.
Sound advice, along with carry a pie whilst whistling.
Or laundry’s done better if you’re wearing several layers.
Koo-koo ka joob.
Lesley said,
December 28, 2006 at 6:09
G said, Because it’s fucking sad, a fucking TRAGEDY how short peoples’ memories are, to forget the scores of Rwandan Tutsis who took refuge in Catholic churches and were massacred there by Hutus, and in many cases by Hutu priests and nuns.
But they weren’t white, like this chap, were they? No, when you’re white, being slaughtered is a completely different experience. (Coming up next: Fighting Black)
M.Sphinx said,
December 28, 2006 at 6:22
Don’t know how in fuck’n hell this dude supposedly stopped a mass attack with full-auto rifles and grenades with a goddamn .38 special.
He didn’t. The attack left 11 dead and 50 wounded out of a congregation of 1,400. Van Dyk managed to hit one of the terrorists, but they all got away.
One of the dead was a 17 year old who jumped in front of his friends to save them from getting killed, and another smothered a grenade to help others get away. That is infintely more badass than firing back with a glorified pellet gun and kinda sorta hurting a bad guy.
Best (and uninformed) guess is that the attack was over when he started shooting back.
Here’s an account of what happened:
After the grenades exploded, one of our workers, Charl van Wyk, returned fire with his revolver. One bullet wounded the gunman who was firing into the congregation. The shooting stopped and the attackers withdrew. Charl then pursued the terrorists into the parking lot and fired at their getaway car as it sped off into 3rd Avenue. When the police later recovered the terrorists’ getaway car the bloodstained seats indicated that at least one of the gunmen was seriously wounded.
STH said,
December 28, 2006 at 6:27
Packing in church didn’t work out too well for this guy:
“FORT WORTH, Texas – A man who scared churchgoers on Christmas Eve when he pulled a handmade machete from his pants and placed it on the altar while he prayed remained jailed Tuesday on a weapons charge.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16359529/
I guess he was going for the whole deterrent thing rather than the self-defense thing.
sprezzatura said,
December 28, 2006 at 6:59
He was the out of control Son of God, with an itchy trigger finger and a lead foot.
They were his Dirty Dozen. Hell’s Angels had NOTHING on them.
This Sermon’s gonna HURT!
Faster, Faster Savior, Kill, Kill!
In Technacolor!
Coming to Theaters This Spring:
FlipYrWhig said,
December 28, 2006 at 7:39
The only person in the world who has not only experienced this exact scenario firsthand
WND has also forgotten the massacre at a mosque in Hebron in 1994. See Wikipedia, Cave of the Patriarchs massacre. Of course, the victims in that case — dozens of them — were Palestinians, and the perpetrator was an Israeli settler.
FORT WORTH, Texas – A man who scared churchgoers on Christmas Eve when he pulled a handmade machete from his pants and placed it on the altar while he prayed remained jailed Tuesday on a weapons charge.
That gives a whole new meaning to the long-played-out onomatopoeia, “schwing.”
badger3k said,
December 28, 2006 at 7:41
Three Words – Jesus Christ Supercop
(yahoo video link: http://video.yahoo.com/video/group?gid=g_538f52778994735733d541a63abb4c77.4a68b8cf7647cdba20b09b26355d13fb)
John said,
December 28, 2006 at 8:14
Brad:
Are you are a Massachusetts resident, and since I’m sure you attend church regularly, you must be familiar with the laws of this state. (Scroll down, and yes, it would be funnier if the law hadn’t been recently repealed.)
Still, this kind of law is clearly the only appropriate and Christian solution to the tremendous problem of large-scale assaults on peaceful congregations.
Anne Laurie said,
December 28, 2006 at 8:16
Gee, I thought the lesson of that whole apartheid experiment was that trying to murder everyone who disagreed with you doesn’t work as a long-term solution. I’m not going to spend my hard-earned dollars & brain cells on anything published by WND, so I’ll pull a Jonah: What’s the conclusion drawn in “Fighting Back”? That God’s Chosen should have been packing a higher calibre, even in the tabernacle? Or just that having a gun to grab is a great comfort in times of trouble?
Some Guy said,
December 28, 2006 at 8:17
Heh, that’s a CNN crawl, not an account.
I doubt there’s a good record of what really happened, but it would seem that Charl got incredibly lucky at hit one of the gunners with his first few shots, and that convinved the rest to leave.
And I mean incredibly lucky; a 2-in barrel has an accuracy of about 40 feet. Beyond that, there’s a famous account in Florida of FBI agents who were following suspects who were known to be armed and dangerous. There were about 8 agents in four cars following the two suspects in their van or truck. The badguys had semi-auto rifles and a shot gun, the agents had 9mm sidearms.
Long story short, there was a shot-out in a suburban neighborhood, the cars were no more then 15 yards, tops, away from the badguys’ truck. Four agents were killed, and I think the rest were at least wounded, even though the two suspects had been shot several times. One was shot in the head, but was only knocked out for a minute or two, then resumed firing.
That Charl was not gunned down immediatly, and also managed to hit something, is an inverse Pulp Fiction abnormality.
Toof Fat F1ngers said,
December 28, 2006 at 8:40
If only, somehow, the terrorists could be GAY this could be a wingnut trifecta. Who’s to say they weren’t gay. Did they ever deny it? That’s enough for me. They were gay. Folks, every one of you church going believers out there is under immediate threat of the attack by analsexoislamokillyouinyourownpewofacists.
“The preacher, in his free flowing purple vestments told me to kneel. I did as he said while reaching in to my jacket to give a reassuring stroke to my snub nose revolver. No longer will I be plagued by the constant parade of men who keep sucking my cock. Why does that handsome guy in the pink shirt keep pretending to ignore me? Oh that is definitely a weapon in that form fitting pair of action slacks. I can’t wait. Jesus sayeth ‘its kill or be a queer. ‘Taste my steely fury gay terrorist with the full lips’ POW POW POW”
I’m sending chapters 1 and 2 plus an outline to WND, but I’m keeping the movie and video game rights for sure.
Too Fat Elvis said,
December 28, 2006 at 8:42
If only, somehow, the terrorists could be GAY this could be a wingnut trifecta. Who’s to say they weren’t gay. Did they ever deny it? That’s enough for me. They were gay. Folks, every one of you church going believers out there is under immediate threat of the attack by analsexoislamokillyouinyourownpewofacists.
“The preacher, in his free flowing purple vestments told me to kneel. I did as he said while reaching in to my jacket to give a reassuring stroke to my snub nose revolver. No longer will I be plagued by the constant parade of men who keep sucking my cock. Why does that handsome guy in the pink shirt keep pretending to ignore me? Oh that is definitely a weapon in that form fitting pair of action slacks. I can’t wait. Jesus sayeth ‘its kill or be a queer. ‘Taste my steely fury gay terrorist with the full lips’ POW POW POW”
I’m sending chapters 1 and 2 plus an outline to WND, but I’m keeping the movie and video game rights for sure.
piltdown said,
December 28, 2006 at 9:21
“What would you do if The US Military burst into your mosque during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?”
Just kinda interesting if you reverse a few words…..
“The only person in the world who has not only experienced this exact scenario firsthand, but who shot back against the terrorists and defended fellow churchgoers ”
PROOF that this is happening IN EVERY TOWN IN THE US! ARM YOURSELVES! DEFEND AGAINST THE TERRORISTS THAT BREAK INTO CHURCH EVERY WEEK!
Yeah.
Jeff Fecke said,
December 28, 2006 at 10:24
Given that I’m a Unitarian, should the terrorists (in this case, far right extremists mad at us for lovin’ on the homos) attack us, I feel certain that we would immediately form a subcommittee to discuss the situation, and our response would probably involve questioning whether God can truly be said to exist.
annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:12
Some papist forgot the words of Christ and tackled two poor lost souls who were caught in the “church.” It’s on Yahoo odd news.
He is going to Hell.
annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:14
But if someone shoots at me, I do have the right to defend myself.
Idiots.
annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:19
““What would you do if The US Military burst into your mosque during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?â€?
Just kinda interesting if you reverse a few words…..”
FUCKING TRAITOR YOU SHOULD BE SHOT!
The Dark Avenger said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:22
There are any number of instances where law enforcement, not untrained, bumpkiss civies, but law enforcement agents have gone up against heavily armed bad guys and got their ass handed to them.
The most recent case being the North Hollywood bank robbery a few years ago, where 2 guys with a few weapons and wearing vests, etc., held off the LAPD for a few hours, and the cops had to get stuff from a sporting goods store to use against the perps.
RubDMC said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:35
“I am honored to be a part of this historic undertaking – the republishing of this classic work in the United States,â€? said Joseph Farah, founder of WND Books…
He’s talking about Papa Hemingway, right? Or, ‘Hints from Heloise?’
RubDMC said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:37
By combining two ridiculous annie posts you get – “But if someone shoots at me, YOU SHOULD BE SHOT!”
It sorta makes sense, I guess.
If you squint while you read it, I mean.
Some Guy said,
December 28, 2006 at 12:31
Annie, I know you want to draw as much attention to yourself as possible, but do try to aim to fit all your rants in one post. It would make everyone happy.
That the one where they got some full-auto M16s with 100-round magazines, DA? If I recall, they only thing that stopped them was that one of them ran the other guy over by accident, then shot himself in the face, again, by accident.
The instance I was thinking of was a few years back when some guy snaped during his divorce hearings, and decided to shoot up the courthouse. So he got an AK-47 (it’s not just for Commies and Islamofacists anymore!) and shot the hell out of everyone he could see. I think he killed his ex-wife and kid on the courthouse steps.
Being a courthouse, it was full of cops and guards, but they couldn’t get a shot cause anytime they popped up to aim, he’d fire a few off at them.
The point is: if you think you’re concealed handgun will save you from a concentrated, well-planed terrorist attack in your church, especially when you have no warning of it, you’re stupid.
mmm...lemonheads said,
December 28, 2006 at 14:20
“annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 11:19
“What would you do if The US Military burst into your mosque during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?�
Just kinda interesting if you reverse a few words…..�
FUCKING TRAITOR YOU SHOULD BE SHOT!”
Somebody needs a hug.
celticgirl said,
December 28, 2006 at 15:29
Uh, I hate to have to point this out but the biggest threat the average ‘murkin xtian churchgoer has from a gun toting nutbar would be from a member of his/her own congregation…
An Angry Old Broad said,
December 28, 2006 at 15:51
How can this Van Dyk guy be the only person to experience a church shooting in a church full of people?
I’m nitpicking,sorry.
tomg said,
December 28, 2006 at 16:12
I hear Mel Gibson has bought the rights to the story, so he can remake Road Warrior, but this time with roving gangs of Episcopalians.
Jillian said,
December 28, 2006 at 16:31
He’s not.
Seems like it happens in Texas with alarming frequency. Read into that what you will.
Oh, and the preview button rocks my world. Just sayin’.
Ted said,
December 28, 2006 at 16:33
I do enjoy our resident Courtney Love…
Sporty said,
December 28, 2006 at 16:50
John,
You mean this one?
“It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)”
John Jones said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:02
I will personally defend any church from any terrorist attack for $25,000 cash, plus expenses. Defending children or pets incurs an extra surcharge. Expenses charged may include bullets and/or other ordinance expended, as well as insurance premiums, medical costs, and/or litigation fees. Female church members may be deputized as morale support officers in event of actual attack, or, you know, at any other time I feel it may be appropriate. No senior citizen discount.
Contact me at godreloadsmyM203@wahoo.com.
Douglas Watts said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:22
There are no atheists in fox holes.
Douglas Watts said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:28
Combine church with gun shows. Problem solved.
Silver Owl said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:34
LOL! I best pack heat just to defend myself from these testosterone overloaded f*cknuts wanting to go on killing sprees for their manhood.
The Dark Avenger said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:39
SG, they also had armor-piercing bullets and used flak jackets for complete body coverage as well.
North Hollywood shootout
mdhatter said,
December 28, 2006 at 17:45
DA, that was some bad ass sh** that shootout. I was watching TV when that broke on the air.
Someone watched Reservoir Dogs one too many times.
joe said,
December 28, 2006 at 18:04
“which has applications in terror-stricken America” – the terrorists have won.
mikey said,
December 28, 2006 at 20:15
Guys, c’mon, take a deep breath. Firepower and body armor doesn’t win gunfights, despite all the arnold/stallone movies you’ve seen. In extremis, the determining factor to who’s still standing when the killing stops is aggression, will, courage and focus. In all the bleeding, screaming, horror and noise, the guy who keeps his head, moves, KEEPS THINKING and places his rounds downrange on target will most likely get out alive.
Any decent Sergeant can tell you that.
It’s just not everybody that can do it…
mikey
rea said,
December 28, 2006 at 20:48
“Firepower and body armor doesn’t win gunfights, despite all the arnold/stallone movies you’ve seen. In extremis, the determining factor to who’s still standing when the killing stops is aggression, will, courage and focus.”
Actually your notion has more in common with old arnold/stallone movies than the contrary. Generally speaking, the guys with the most firepower and body armor are going to win.
mikey said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:23
Actually your notion has more in common with old arnold/stallone movies than the contrary. Generally speaking, the guys with the most firepower and body armor are going to win
Sadly, No. Not in the context of this discussion. If by “win” you mean take the hill or over-run the position, then your statement tends to be true. How did all those tanks, artillery and B-52s work out for you in Vietnam? In Anbar?
If the context is you “win” in a gunfight (in a church, in this piece of silliness) by being more alive and having more of your bits still attached at the end, again, any Sergeant will tell you how to get there. Why? Didn’t yours?
mikey
TC said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:35
FUCKING TRAITOR YOU SHOULD BE SHOT!
“If someone shoots at me, I have the right to defend myself”
Annie, get your gun.
mikey said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:50
Annie can defend herself perfectly well with Pie!
mikey
annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:53
I will just kill the terrorists with my bare hands.
Like Mikey would.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
(((hugs for melonheads)))
annieangel said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:54
And I can make as many posts as I want. You are not the boss of me, it’s a free internets.
Hysterical Woman said,
December 28, 2006 at 21:59
No, annie, there is a free section of the internet with previews, but you have to pay for the rest. Cough up your credit card number.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 28, 2006 at 22:15
The fact is, Christians are under attack from minorities and the liberals. We must fight back.
mikey said,
December 28, 2006 at 22:26
The fact is, Christians are under attack from minorities and the liberals. We must fight back.
Ummm, Gary? If you put the “minorities” together with the “Liberals”, wouldn’t that make the “majority”?
Just askin…
Kinda racist post for you, too, Gar….
mikey
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
December 29, 2006 at 0:17
What would you do if armed terrorists burst into your church during a worship service and started attacking your friends and family with automatic weapons?
I’d stick IEDs in the way of their vehicles and look into hijacking planes to fly into their skyscrapers…
Gentlewoman said,
December 29, 2006 at 0:46
Given that I’m a Unitarian, should the terrorists (in this case, far right extremists mad at us for lovin’ on the homos) attack us, I feel certain that we would immediately form a subcommittee to discuss the situation, and our response would probably involve questioning whether God can truly be said to exist.
Jeff, you forgot the coffee!
TC said,
December 29, 2006 at 1:19
The fact is, Christians are under attack from minorities and the liberals. We must fight back.
Oddly enough, many minorities and liberals ARE Christians.
You can tell, they are those people in the streets attacking themselves, apparently….
Minorities, Gary? How the heck did THAT sneak in there? Suddenly minorities are on Gary’s Pie List. You’re getting worn out with all this losing, bud; your racism is showing through. Take a break. Go get some cheetos. Play some Doom or Panzer Attack. Come back in the morning; annie will have pie for you (she said she wouldn”t stop posting)
r4d20 said,
December 29, 2006 at 1:54
The fact is, Christians are under attack from minorities and the liberals. We must fight back.
Oddly enough, many minorities and liberals ARE Christians.
Yeah, but they dont count.
mdhatter said,
December 29, 2006 at 3:43
” Jeff, you forgot the coffee! ”
bwah ahah hahha ahahha ha a
g said,
December 29, 2006 at 6:24
I will just kill the terrorists with my bare hands.
Uh huh.
Kinda like you put together that Ikea furniture with your bare hands.
Annie, here’s a clue-stick. They gave you printed instructions and that prefab special little wrench for the Ikea bookcases. If you want to kill humans (or animals) you need tools and knowledge, too. Or else you need to choose a different option.
You, know, like escaping. Or negotiating. These skills are more universal.
For an untrained person, escaping or negotiating might be a better choice.
Otherwise, you’re just going to fuck up more spectacularly.
Smart people already understand this.
annieangel said,
December 29, 2006 at 8:33
LOL. I was an amateur boxer. I’d knock you on your ass honey.
Zython said,
December 29, 2006 at 10:49
LOL. I was an amateur boxer. I’d knock you on your ass honey.
Yes, yes, and you can head-butt polar bears in half. It’s not that we don’t believe you, it’s just that we don’t care. We also don’t believe you.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 29, 2006 at 11:28
It belatedly occurs to me that van Wyck has a point. Possibly the KKK would have burned down fewer Southern baptist churches in the 1960s, if the occupants of the churches had all been carrying assault rifles.
However, the experiences and opinions of black people who were attacked by white terrorists may be of less interest to WND readers than the other way around.
LittlePig said,
December 29, 2006 at 15:20
There are no atheists in fox holes.
Damn few Christians too, given that whole “turn the other cheek” thing.
The Dark Avenger said,
December 29, 2006 at 18:42
md, there’s some footage on youtube, showing one of them striding around,not afraid of getting hit by the cops.
punkinsmom said,
December 29, 2006 at 19:39
� Jeff, you forgot the coffee! �
Decaf, of course.
Too Fat F1NGers said,
December 29, 2006 at 20:43
Belated or not, Herr Doktor Bimler, that’s the most profound observation. The largest terrorist organization this country has ever known and the governments of 13 states were defeated by a movement of noviolence over several decades. Plus the rule of law, e.g. Southern Poverty and Law Center.
But you take one white guy who wings a black guy in a church half way around the world and all of a sudden WND jumps on that as the shining example of the “solution” to terrorism in America. How much more willfully ignorant of reality could they be?
Flushback said,
December 29, 2006 at 20:54
The gun toters always seem to be in situations where they need to shoot somebody or at least pull their piece to stave off some calamity and/or save their own lives and the lives of other “innocents”. My question: where do they go and what do they do to cause all this shit to happen to them?
TC said,
December 29, 2006 at 23:23
Yeah, boxing is a real survival skill when facing suicide terrorists.
LOL urself annie. I’m in ur chrch, shooting yr doodz
annieangel said,
December 30, 2006 at 0:30
I’d use a gun if I had one.
God Bless Texas. :)
badger3k said,
December 31, 2006 at 21:50
There are no atheists in foxholes?
really?
http://www.atheistfoxholes.org/about.php
Toof Fat Elvis said,
January 1, 2007 at 2:17
Annie,
If your aim with a gun is anything like the accuracy of your posts, I’d stay far away from fire arms. For your own sake.
Repo Man said,
January 1, 2007 at 8:07
On the “atheists in foxholes” thing; some wag on Fark commented “That sounds like a good reason to be an atheist to me!”
As the bumper sticker says, Nothing Fails Like Prayer. Why would I resort to imaginary communications with a non existent deity because I’m likely to die soon? No matter what, everyone dies, no matter how hard they pray.
Atheism, keeping me out of foxholes for 41 years!
Karl Rove II said,
January 2, 2007 at 20:57
“I’d use a gun if I had one.”
Couldn’t figure out how to fill out the BATFE form?