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Humor At Its Most Sophisticated
Here’s a fun game, gang! Below are several hilarious name changes invented by the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller for people he doesn’t like. Mixed in are some lame ones of our own creation.
Your job is to 1) guess who the names refer to, and 2) guess which ones are the Rottweiller’s and which are ours.
Have at it!
1. Tom Dasshole
2. Dhimmi Cartard (founder of the Hijabtat for Dhimmanity)
3. Balack Uncletomma
4. Sandy Pantsburglar
5. Ahmadinnerjacket
6. Stephen Colbarelyfunny
7. al-Burp Whinestein
8. (up)Chuck Schumer
9. Rosie O’Donut
10. Mutt-catarrh al-Sad-ass
11. Mock-human al-Blindadei
12. Koughing Anus
13. Nancy “Skin� Peelosi
14. Vomitessa Redgraverobber
15. Salvadead al-Ended
16. Huge-O Chafe-ez
17. James “Halabja� Baker the Turd
18. Kaiser Willie von Slickmeister
19. Chuckie Rankle
20. Refarto Montalbanned
21. Jack “Abscam� Murthafucker
22. “Poop� Warner
23. Moohazmat Gone-di
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief
25. Dick Turban
Gavin adds: Idiot Aryan Snotweiler. Heh heh. John-Lottweiler.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:09
Can I go to the bathroom?
D. Aristophanes said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:11
Okay, but hurry up, RB. Gavin’s mom brought cupcakes for his birthday.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:20
1. Tom Dasshole / Tom Daschle
2. Dhimmi Cartard (founder of the Hijabtat for Dhimmanity) / Jimmy Carter
3. Balack Uncletomma / Barack Obama
4. Sandy Pantsburglar / Sandy Berger
5. Ahmadinnerjacket Ahmadine / Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
6. Stephen Colbarelyfunny / Stephen Colbert
7. al-Burp Whinestein / Albert Einstein? / you had to make that one up!
8. (up)Chuck Schumer / Chuck Schumer
9. Rosie O’Donut / Rosie O’Donnell
10. Mutt-catarrh al-Sad-ass / Muqtada al-Sadr
11. Mock-human al-Blindadei /
12. Koughing Anus / Kofi Annan
13. Nancy “Skin� Peelosi / Nancy Pelosi
14. Vomitessa Redgraverobber / Vanessa Redgrave
15. Salvadead al-Ended / Salvador Allende
16. Huge-O Chafe-ez / Hugo Chaves
17. James “Halabja� Baker the Turd / James Baker
18. Kaiser Willie von Slickmeister / Bill Clinton
19. Chuckie Rankle / Charles Rangel
20. Refarto Montalbanned / Retardo Montalban
21. Jack “Abscam� Murthafucker / Jack Murtha
22. “Poop� Warner / John Warner
23. Moohazmat Gone-di / Mahatma Gandhi / I call Sadly, No!
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief / ?
25. Dick Turban / Dick Durbin
P.S. I actually went over there. Good grief, they’re pathetic.
BillyD said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:28
I really hope “poop” warner is your creation.
mikey said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:33
Mindless Hatred, now with 50% more childishness…
mikey
Diogenes said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:37
The only that are guesses since they ain’t obvious:
22. “Poopâ€? Warner – John Warner?
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief – Michael Moore?
Answer: You made them all up. Nobody over the age of seven could be so infantile to actually think that any of those names are even remotely clever.
Diogenes said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:39
ITTDGY:
#11 has to be Muhammad al-Baradei of the IAEA
Diogenes said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:46
Oh, Jeebus, it suddenly hit me. #24 has to be FDR. Now that one is lame enough that it probably does come from the un-house broken puppy.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 22, 2006 at 1:47
Diogenes, they are using names even dumber than these. Another bunch in need of a visit by their local army recruiter.
His Grace said,
December 22, 2006 at 2:13
Please tell me this is the result of too much whiskey and that when the Rottweiller sobers up and reads the post he and his drinking buddies made when there were “sooo clever,” it will promptly be deposited in Gary’s Dustbin of History.
Jillian said,
December 22, 2006 at 2:28
God, if any of this were directed at me personally, I’d be so wounded that even the fabled “I’m rubber you’re glue” defense would fail to protect my bitterly savaged emotional state.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 22, 2006 at 2:48
They’ve got a lot of balls defending Bush and calling FDR “Notsosvelte”
Jeremy's Iron? said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:08
I give this no more attention than the two eight-year-olds down the street who light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Same intellectual level, same significance.
Of course, Malkin is now doubting that the ants were actually lit on fire, but whatever.
Teh Rottweiler said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:21
OK. I want my “anti” back, and I want it now.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:33
But guys, here’s the fun part. The bullshit is propagated by two guys (?) whose pseudonyms are easily turned into “Greasy Venereal Goiter” and “Enema Shower.” See? Wasn’t that fun?
RubDMC said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:38
Boy, they sure like those psuedo-military/uber-fascist design elements (crosses, shields, eagles, sticks, red/black/silver, etc.) at that site.
I’d hate to see what they’ve done to mom’s semi-finished basement after painting over all the windows.
Back in the day, idiots like this would be happy with a stylized coffin, maybe a couple of skulls and a nudie magazine. But now they want to get involved in politics, domestic, and foreign affairs?
Could they actually hurt anyone but themselves? Dave Neiwert seems to think so, and I trust his word on this kind of stuff.
As for names? Those are really boring.
Just remember – there’s only one Tipsy McStagger.
Jillian said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:39
You’re mean, Mort.
I like you. Wanna help me celebrate my birthday? ;)
Smiling Mortician said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:47
I am mean, Jillian. But only to those what deserves it. Is it really your birthday? I mean, I’ll happily celebrate with you either way (I’m making some Hunan/Szechuan tonight — come on over!) but if it really is your birthday, well . . . happy happy joy joy.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:56
Happy bird day, two ewes, Jillian!
Jillian said,
December 22, 2006 at 3:57
It’s a couple days away still….on the 30th, I’ll be celebrating yet another solar passage closer to the grave for myself.
And yet, if I live to be a thousand, I’ll never be as big a doodyhead as a couple of Keyboard Kommandoes who think it’s teh funnee to mock other people’s names.
Woodrowfan said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:13
I gave up after three of them. Sheesh.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:15
As William Blake said, Mock on, mock on, Voltaire, Rousseau . . .
Oh, who am I kidding? These guys are to Voltaire and Rousseau as Dubya is to Jefferson and Lincoln . . . as J. Grant Swank is to Gandhi and Martin Luther King . . . as Susan Polis Schultz is to Walt Whitman and Elizabeth Bishop . . . as –
Huh? Time to make dinner? Oh, OK.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:30
Completely OT, but great anyway:
“When we’re on our deathbeds, we’re going to wish we could reclaim the time we spent wandering around for save points long after we were done playing every night. Imagine if your word processing program did this, refusing to let you save your progress until you typed six more paragraphs. Or, made you retype your last paragraph six times while zombies tried to shoot your cursor…”
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:36
Also completely OT: Fried Rice.
His Grace said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:39
“…Dubya is to Jefferson and Lincoln…”
For the LAST TIME, President Bush is the next Churchill. He redefined resoluteness past Churchillian and into the next galaxy.
Doc Washboard said,
December 22, 2006 at 4:50
The hi-larious parody name definitely seems to be a hallmark of the Right. I remember doing this kind of thing when I was in seventh grade, but have since repented myself of my sins; these guys have seemingly not moved on.
Related: I posted a comment about the shrieking harpy‘s latest foray into treason, and it was only after some lengthy period of puzzlement that I realized that the “CrockBlowhard” that another poster mentions is me. “CrockBlowhard?” It doesn’t even sound like my username. They’re going to have to try harder than that.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 22, 2006 at 5:09
CrockBlowhard … er, Doc Washboard – yeah, it’s like all the writers of the Mad magazine movie parodies discovered wingnut blogging.
Anyway, is everybody ready for the correct answers?
dc said,
December 22, 2006 at 5:34
Emperor Mishap
The Anti-enlistment bedwetter
jade said,
December 22, 2006 at 5:42
He’s not my Auntie. So whose is he?
jade said,
December 22, 2006 at 5:45
Anyway, is everybody ready for the correct answers?
Oh yes, give us the full scoop.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 22, 2006 at 5:56
1. Tom Dasshole
(Tom Daschle, Anti-Iditarod Rottencrotch)
2. Dhimmi Cartard (founder of the Hijabtat for Dhimmanity)
(Jimmy Carter, founder of Habitat for Humanity, Sad-pee, No!)
3. Balack Uncletomma
(Barack Obama, SN)
4. Sandy Pantsburglar
(Sandy Berger, AIR)
5. Ahmadinnerjacket
(Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, AIR)
6. Stephen Colbarelyfunny
(Stephen Colbert, SN)
7. al-Burp Whinestein
(Albert Einstein, SN)
8. (up)Chuck Schumer
(Chuck Schumer, AIR)
9. Rosie O’Donut
(Rosie O’Donnell, AIR)
10. Mutt-catarrh al-Sad-ass
(Muqtada al-Sadr, AIR)
11. Mock-human al-Blindadei
(Muhammad al-Baradei, SN)
12. Koughing Anus
(Koffi Annan, AIR)
13. Nancy “Skin� Peelosi
(Nancy Pelosi, SN … Rot’s is “Speaker Lugosi”)
14. Vomitessa Redgraverobber
(Vanessa Redgrave, SN)
15. Salvadead al-Ended
(Salvador Allende, SN)
16. Huge-O Chafe-ez
(Hugo Chavez, SN)
17. James “Halabja� Baker the Turd
(James Baker III, AIR)
18. Kaiser Willie von Slickmeister
(Bill Clinton, AIR … also “Bill Klintoon”, sometimes)
19. Chuckie Rankle
(Charles Rangel, AIR)
20. Refarto Montalbanned
(Retardo Montalban, SN)
21. Jack “Abscam� Murthafucker
(Jack Murtha, AIR)
22. “Poop� Warner
(Glenn Scobey “Pop” Warner, SN)
23. Moohazmat Gone-di
(Mahatma Gandhi, SN)
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief
(Franklin Delano Roosevelt, SN)
25. Dick Turban
(Dick Durbin, AIR)
Pinko Punko said,
December 22, 2006 at 6:34
OK, this is funnier than Reese’s Pieter Botha Cups.
What do you want a frackin medal?
A Medal said,
December 22, 2006 at 6:35
Here I am!
Shochu John said,
December 22, 2006 at 7:28
Mocking “Retardo” by changing it to “Refarto” is reminiscent of the spring break Simpsons episode in which some mischievous rapscallions rearranged the sign of the “Royal Fart Inn” to read “Royal Frat Inn”.
Does AIR also use Hitlery Klintoon? That has always been one of my wingnut faves.
Anthony Cartouche said,
December 22, 2006 at 7:40
Back around 1994 there was at least one asshole posting on USENET who called Bill Clinton “Klaytax.” And yeah, that was the heyday of “Hitlery Klintoon,” too.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 22, 2006 at 8:05
OK, now back to poking the borax at Herr Kraphammer.
Vic said,
December 22, 2006 at 8:44
I always thought “Charles Gout-haver” was pretty funny for him.
D. Sidhe said,
December 22, 2006 at 9:34
Belated (I assume) happy birthday to Jillian.
Can I admit I actually thought “Stephen Colbarelyfunny” was mildly amusing, if only in a vastly ironic way?
dalton periphery said,
December 22, 2006 at 13:06
they totally stole Ahmadinnerjacket from Stephanie Miller (who, by the way, used the name to make fun of herself, not the Iranian president).
Happy happy birthday, brilliant Jillian- with love and ponies.
LA Confidential Pantload said,
December 22, 2006 at 17:50
Yep, nothin’ beats that conservative humor. Real gut-busters, real…..oh fuck it, after I’m done vomiting I’ll just poke my eyes out with a fork.
Dan Someone said,
December 22, 2006 at 18:26
I was given to understand that the proper mockname for FDR is “Rosenfeld.” Or perhaps that’s too Old Skool.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 22, 2006 at 21:45
Happy birthday to Jillian, Marq and the Baby Jesus.