Comments on: I Saw Mommy Kissing Swanksta’ Claus

By: Gentlewoman

Gentlewoman — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 19:14:50 +0000

Samba!!!1!!

That is all.

By: g

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 14:39:35 +0000

in the beginning of the world there were no colors at all, blah blah blah god gave the world colors, blah de blah, then the world got dark again (â€™cause of them EEEEEEEVIL pagans) and so then he sent JEEZUS to bring color back to the world.

Yes, and that’s why good Scottish Episcopalian Christian ladies dress in mauve, beige, ice blue, and forest green, while those EVIL pagan ladies wear bright magenta saris, orange flamenco pants, and giant purple read and yellow fruit baskets on top of their heads while they samba.

By: RubDMC

RubDMC — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 07:21:03 +0000

“Christmas Eve is perhaps the most important night of the year for the city’s Jewish singles. While Boston’s gentiles are tucked away with their eggnog…something massive has happened in the clubs. Christmas Eve has evolved into Jewish Valentine’s Day.”

Why am I always the last one to find out about this stuff?

http://www.boston.com/yourlife/articles/2006/12/21/a_christmas_eve_klatch/

By: Gavin M.

Gavin M. — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 06:06:46 +0000

Love the graphic. That is all.

Ah, but did you click and see the animation?

By: Priceless

Priceless — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 06:02:40 +0000

Gavin,

Love the graphic. That is all.

By: Djur

Djur — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:55:36 +0000

I saw Jesus in the morning in the burning bush
I saw Jesus in the afternoon too
I saw Jesus at dinner swimming in my stew
That Jesus is everywhere

Jesus down by the riverbed, oooh
Jesus layin’ down by me, oooh
Jesus by the riverbed, oooh
Then Jesus came in to me

By: mikey

mikey — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 04:13:08 +0000

Day – Ammm, that musta sucked!!

mikey

By: Herr Doktor Bimler

Herr Doktor Bimler — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 03:01:29 +0000

He started out talking about how in the beginning of the world there were no colors at all, blah blah blah god gave the world colors, blah de blah, then the world got dark again (â€™cause of them EEEEEEEVIL pagans) and so then he sent JEEZUS to bring color back to the world.

This was a difficult task, and Jesus did not finish bringing colour back to the world until about 1960. Before then, large parts of the world were still monochrome, as you can see when you watch old movies.

By: kdaddy

kdaddy — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:34:22 +0000

Pastor Swanker should have taken command of the situation! By that
I mean bull-rushing the choir, wresting control of the evil, mood destroying electric candle device and imploring all present to get properly
focused on the sweet musical homage to our non-drinking Christmas
Jeebus.

By: Jillian

Jillian — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 23:07:50 +0000

It's really not how well the flashlight works that determines whether your lady friend sees Jesus or not, you know.....there's a whole lot of other appliances that need to be in working order for that to happen. Sounds like Gavin's been reading The Pearl lately. We need to work some references to godemiches in there somehow, I think.

By: TC

TC — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:03:08 +0000

Not to mention the whole pagan solstice festival part.

I mean, it’s like being thrown a birthday party, and yes, there’s a huge party, but it’s at the neighbor’s house, and it’s two weeks earlier than your actual day of birth, and it’s also a celebration of Aunt Judy and Uncle Mike’s anniversary as well as a housewarming for the Wilkinses and a special occasion for Grandma Tiffle’s clean colonoscopy…

So then, you drink a couple of Winter Ales too many, and wander around glowering at the other party-goers, muttering darkly about the “REAL reason for the party”…

By: ACG

ACG — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 21:46:06 +0000

So, I was thinking the other day. Since Jesus was a good Jewish boy, and since he wouldn’t be celebrating his birthday in December, what with him being born in June and all, wouldn’t he have spent this month preparing for… Hanukkah? So is our insistence on cramming our Target stores with aisles and aisles of tacky Christmas decorations while providing one measly end cap to a meagre collection of cheap menorahs, dreidels, and paper napkins with the star of David on them really kind of a bitch slap to Jesus?

I mean, if the Second Coming happened to be today, would he be all, “What the fuck? 14 million observant Jews throughout the world, and Target can’t even get any fucking gelt in here?”

By: Dr. BDH

Dr. BDH — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 21:33:44 +0000

What was the choir singing?
Hark, the herald angels sing
Gently stroking phallic things…

By: TC

TC — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 21:33:31 +0000

J Neo-

Work up a cover version: Tainted Love as done by The Ramones!

By: Some Guy

Some Guy — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:08:07 +0000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tainted_Love
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the Ramones. Must have been Soft Cell. I don’t know 80s bands.

By: Candy

Candy — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:19:36 +0000

Wasn’t it The Cure?

By: J Neo Marvin

J Neo Marvin — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 19:01:57 +0000

The Ramones did a version of “Tainted Love”?

By: Woodrowfan

Woodrowfan — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:24:54 +0000

now I know why the Malkinesse was staring so intently at the onion ring in an earlier SN entry. And that wasn’t katsup!

By: Kathy

Kathy — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:18:57 +0000

Maybe the girl was told she’d get to keep the candle, take it home with her. And so on. Pretty annoying if it’s broken.
Celticgirl: Very funny, I laughed outloud!

By: fabbo

fabbo — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:08:39 +0000

Why did Jesus say, “I am the light of the world,” when he could just as easily have said, “I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain, why would you even think of fucking with Me?” –Mr. Show

Frankly, I’d have found a defective flashlight ten times more interesting than listening to Pastro and the Hitler Youth Choir rambling on for five fucking hours.