19
The Pluperfect Malkin
A drama in three leanly-wrought acts:
Jimmy Carter math
By Michelle Malkin
December 19, 2006 11:26 AMJimmy Carter says he has signed more than 100,000 books during his book tour.
Book publishing insider Brad Miner’s B.S. detector has been activated.
Update: Whoops.
A work in progress:
Retraction: “Jamil Hussein”
By Michelle Malkin
December 18, 2006 11:04 AMA few minutes ago, I posted an update to the Jamil Hussein story. My source just informed me that he had incorrect information. I’m removing the post. I’ll update as soon as I know more.
Update: Marc Danziger reports the results of his investigation.
A spoiler for those who wish to skip ahead: The Iraqi police officer’s correct name is Jamail Hussein, not ‘Jamil.’ So, in regard to Malkin & Co.’s weeks-long hurricane tantrum accusing the Associated Press of using a nonexistent source in order to help spread enemy propaganda: Whoops.
Also, previously: Whoops.
A treatise on fairness:
Not everyone’s a winner
By Michelle Malkin
December 18, 2006 09:29 AMIn all its breathless purple prose about the “new digital democracy” and the “unmediated free-for-all” on YouTube, Time magazine ignores certain citizen journalists and overlooks those who have been banned from participating for expressing unpopular views.
Above: certain citizen journalists
Oh, we remember some things as well. 2006 has been a remarkable year for ol’ Michelle, filled as it’s been with the suicide of one of her targets, an admirer’s arrest for serial domestic terrorism, a lot of jumping up and down and yelling, and steaming plates of crow apparently served with onion rings.
Let us be among the first to congratulate the intrepid citizen-journalists of the WingNet.
PS: After Michelle bit the onion ring, it resembled a crescent…a crescent…a crescent…
Irony said,
December 19, 2006 at 19:55
my work is not yet done
Roxanne said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:09
That shit sandwich gets bigger as the week progresses.
reverter said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:40
OK, I saw exactly 0 citizen journalists in that picture — oh! you meant the onion ring? That’s still only one!
Otto Man said,
December 19, 2006 at 20:50
Does this mean her trip to Iraq is off? Damn.
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:06
Ketchup on an onion ring? Ok, now I KNOW she’s evil…
mikey
Roxanne said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:23
Yet with all the backtracking she needs to do, she still found time for
Black Man Guilty of Wrong-Doing. Must credit Malkin!
Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:36
Malkin and her husband clearly have worked this through, and figured that a small Asian woman can toss grenades indiscriminately where a white Jewish man would be considered nothing especially special, and certainly nothing new. When I read the news stories about the chancellor’s suicide, I thought that someone should make Malkin look at the photographs taken of where the woman’s body landed.
Worse–yes, worse–the Malkins have two children. Do they teach them that actions have consequences? Who’s raising the Malkinites, the illegal immigrant in the Malkin’s basement?
Pinko Punko said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:49
Why must you slay me so? I’m gonna get fired ya know. To let you know how degenerate my stomach is, not even that pic could put me off an onion ring.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:55
Why must you slay me so?
I’m gonna get fired ya know.
I spew out my lunches
In partly-chewed bunches
All cuzza that Sadly, No!
Col Bat Guano said,
December 19, 2006 at 21:57
Is it possible that Michelle Malkin is a member of Abu Sayyaf, the Philipino offshoot of Al Qaeda? My proof? Well, what would be a better cover? It would be irresponsible not to speculate wouldn’t it?
Pinko Punko said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:03
RB just made my day!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:04
There once was a girl called Michelle
Who detected a horrible smell
From the liberal press
Who’d made a big mess
Of the, oops, wait, that’s not right, oh well.
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:09
My Turn:
While perusing the nets I found malkin
Seems she had the whole blogosphere talkin
But it was the same old song
Once again, she was wrong
But you know that won’t shut up her squawkin
mikey
Jay B. said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:19
Wait, why is she trying to hypnotize that poor onion ring?
teh l4m3 said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:20
There once was a woman on HotAir
Who for the truth had not a care
Her husband’s a dolt
Illegals make her bolt
And she argues for internment with flair.
ironicname said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:31
MIchelle is, and always will be, my very favorite serious compasionate non-racist reality based citizen anchor baby journalist. I know that if we ever meet we’ll be BFF.
But, I also like Pammy Atlas. How to decide?
I’m not a big fan of PPV sprting events, but I’d pay a whopping great load of cash to watch her and Atlas Pam in a no holds barred 5 round jello wrestling match. I think that would offer both these lovely conservative sirens the perfect venue to express their reasoned viewpoints in a manner we can all understand. I could then decide using a “reality based” standard.
It would only be better if we could get Marie Jon’ and Laura Ingrahm to partner up. We could then watch the tag team event of the century.
RubDMC said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:34
But after she took that onion ring out of her mouth, it was tied up in a knot.
punkinsmom said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:58
I like ketchup on my onion rings. But the only thing I can tie in a knot in my mouth is the proverbial cherry stem. If Ms Malkin can indeed hypnotize that onion ring into a knot, perhaps she can hypnotize her readers into not seeing all her errors. Oh. Wait.
Dan Someone said,
December 19, 2006 at 22:59
That little Michelle’s quite a scamp;
Finding news bias makes her all damp.
And though it would be wrong
To mention ping-pong,
She gets hot for an internment camp.
TS said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:11
There’s right-wing ass I would tap
Not Malkin’s, I don’t want the clap
Maybe M. Ham
Sans diaphram
But not a cervical cap
thelogos said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:12
Hmm….MM is Filipino, there is an Al-Qeda branch that is also Filipino. She has been connected in the death of at least one natural born American, and the terrorizing of others. I thin kit’s time to send her to Gitmo.
Dr. Squid said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:35
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
God, but they’re slow on the uptake. No wonder they lost.
fabbo said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:41
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
Maybe there’s a deficient gene somewhere in the wingnut code. That’s why Rumsfeld bought that whatsit to sign his name to all those next-of-kin letters to military families.
Dear Sir or Madam…
(sigh)
Righteous Bubba said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:47
Conservative sex is demonstrably dirty
It’s sin when a fascist girl’s sexy and flirty
So I got drunk at a GOP function, alas
And woke with Mark Foley snuggling my ass.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
Liberals are full of shit
mikey said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
I’m not even drunk and I’m trying to read
This trailer park pundit’s conservative screed
And now that I’ve finished my racist book-learning
I’m going out on the ‘net to check on the kerning
mikey
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 19, 2006 at 23:54
Scoops… troops… whoops…
Nearly there, but I need more coffee.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:11
That Malkin girl’s got all the scoops
About Democrats hatin’ the troops
She takes all the news in
Chews, swallows and grins
And poops. Should be longer, right? Whoops.
Snowwy said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:12
So there’s this dumb blogger named Malkin.
NYT reporters she was stalkin’.
Christian gave her the shiv,
Told us all where she lived;
A bitchslapping worthy of Walken
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:14
In all its breathless purple prose about the “new digital democracy� and the “unmediated free-for-all� on YouTube, Time magazine ignores certain citizen journalists and overlooks those who have been banned from participating for expressing unpopular views.
We remember.
You tell ‘em, Michelle. The person of the year isn’t You; it’s an Army of Davids. As Malkin wrote back in March, “Buy a copy and join the revolution!”
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:14
Sadly No, snark on the fly
reading the comments, teh funny hits the eye
But then you know,
you’ll encounter a troll,
Say what you will, they sure like pie!
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:15
Malkin’s hot off the press with the scoops
Seems that Reuters is airbrushing our troops
The one thats missing his head?
He’s not really dead
“The funerals next week?” Sorry, Whoops
mikey
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 0:33
From Jaron Lanier’s Time magazine piece Gavin links above:
So when is the Sadly, No! commentariat going to start seeing dividends from the sales at the Sad Cafe?
Swetlana Maßat said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:30
This is a very neat application. It is really interesting. Instantly useful for me.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:35
A young would-be pundit named Jess
Found his views simply failed to impress
So when he got older
He created the brown Coulter
It sure pays to spread hate in a dress
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:36
Namestealers are lame.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:41
Shoelimpy and Annie like Pie!
Can’t find their ass with a flashlight, but they try
Though lacking a clue
They do what they do
But their pie doesn’t bother this guy!
mikey
Pinko Punko said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:44
So seriously, kids, what do all your greasemonkey’d scripts end up saying?
PIE PIE PIE PIE, PIE PIE, PIE?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:52
I take it back Mikey. I hope Christmas brings you what you deserve. I hope it brings you nightmares from which you wake up screaming, I hope you relive every bad memory of your life and I hope you have a rotten Christmas.
Trying to be nice to you is like trying to be nice to a scorpion and giving it a lift across a river….you’re total garbage. You’re trash and I bet you were never in the armed forces cuz they weed out scum like you from day one.
I hope you die soon, Mikey, screaming in pain. You are a fucking piece of shit. Your mother is a whore and your father is a drunk who will both rot in Hell if they aren’t already.
As will you.
And Pinko, for starting all this, I take back my forgiveness. May you rot as well.
Naked lunch said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:52
I would love to be a fly on the wall when Hussein was told a woman from the USA was flying over personally to confirm 5 dead bodies out probably 10′s of thousand this guy has seen. No not with CNN, Reuters, the BBC. Just some bitch with a blog.
Snowwy said,
December 20, 2006 at 1:58
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahaaaaa! AnnieAngel hits the wall!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:02
Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!
Kathleen said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:25
Pocketful of Rye is a great Miss Marple mystery.
that is all.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:27
Not a surprise that SadlyNo wants to avoid the fact that Barack Obama’s past is being exposed, and that his soft stand on radical Islam is being exposed.
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that he was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:27
mikey,
You have got to get annie’s reasoned discourse and measured response printed on a T-shirt to wear with pride. Good Job!
I can just see it.
“annieangels christmas prayer”
That is some high quality invective.
Dog bless us everyone.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:28
So seriously, kids, what do all your greasemonkey’d scripts end up saying?
Look. It really cheers me up when I see it, but for its positive worth and not its intended removal of an annoyance.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:28
Old grammarians never die… they just switch to the pluperfect tense.
PS Time for AA to lay off the eggnog.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:30
It’s all that pie.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:31
She’s my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:31
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that [Gary Ruppert] was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
Gavin M. said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:33
Annie is trying to be banned!
Annie, talk to the hand.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:36
Hmmm…Gavin…Linda Lavin…
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:37
Also … Humble Pie!
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:38
Gary. Muslims are not our enemy. The few thousand of them who might try to harm Americans should be recognized as our enemies, but it’s only you racist nutjobs who have decided that Muslims are all evil, even good Americans. Kind of sickening, that level of racial hatred, but you gotta recognize that most of us non-wingnuts don’t share it with you…
mikey
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:39
I am EGREGIOUS dammit, Gavin!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:41
Also… I Don’t Need No Doctor!11!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:47
Annie is trying to be banned!
Annie A, talk to the hand.
On a website called Sadly,
Her behaviour was Badly,
But the last line of the poem never scanned.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:48
No disrespect meant to the good Herr Doktor, who of course we do need.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:49
Also … Mikey Dread!1!!!!allwholenumbersgreaterthan0andsmallerthan2!
(this has very little to do with pie, unfortunately)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:55
You mean Mikey Dread!1eleven!!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 2:58
Speaking of the Malkintentsâ„¢, I have some good news on the shrieking harpy front.
Pammy is now at the top of the list when you google shrieking harpy.
Average wingnut said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:01
You are all racists for even mentioning her.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:03
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saFHchpjlsw
All liberals are rasict assholes. It’s axiomatic.
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:03
“By their fruits you will know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.’”
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:08
I’m not perfect, just forgiven. I’m saved and Jesus forgives me for being human. That’s why He died for me. I am nowhere near perfect, I am not Jesus. But I love Him and He loves me and we both HATE you. :)
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:09
Pie 3:16
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:14
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Luke 10:25-37
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Jeezus hates him some libruls!11!!!
Jeezus is in ur base killin ur doodzs!!1!
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:17
Amen! This is a HOUSE of lies where those who speak the truth are mocked by hypocriticalistic Christ pissers.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:19
I love CHRISTIANS as myself. You all are NOT included in the commandment.
Suxxors to be you!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:19
Sheez – and I thought this was a web page.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
Don McLean, “American Pie” (bad sound)
Led Zeppelin, “Custard Pie” (Page, not actually Zeppelin)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:20
Doodz annie is in ur base judgin ur comments!!11!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:21
Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:25
No one who mocks GOD is my neighbor. Those who mock GOD deserve death. And they will get it, eternal death, damnation.
I am not a going to take it anymore and FUCK you assholes who think because I am a CHRISTIAN I wil take your shit.
Mikey is a fucking bitch, a little whiny bitch and you all suck shit off his dick after he fucks Jillian up her fat haggy ass!
WHOOPEEE!!!!! Fuck you all!
Merry Christmas, unbelievers! I can’t WAIT for the rapture so I can look down from Heaven and laugh while roving sex gangs ASSRAPE you fools!!
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
Ah, Annieangel, the epitome of PIEty:
I love PIE as myself. Cake, cookies, ice cream, and candy are NOT included in the commandment.
OK, but you’re missing out.
P.S. Annie: if Jesus were reading this blog, he would be seriously disappointed in you.
Rudyard Kipling said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
So I’ll meet ‘im later on
In the place where ‘e is gone—
Where it’s always double drill and no canteen;
‘E’ll be squattin’ on the coals
Givin’ drink to pore damned souls,
An’ I’ll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din!
Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Tho’ I’ve belted you an’ flayed you,
By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:28
It is also written:
George is a little monkey, and all little monkeys are curious.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:29
Merry Christmas, Annie!
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:29
Jesus knows I am human and he forgives me because I love HIM. Period. I believe in Him and I love Him.
I’m saved, fuckers.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:30
http://bloggingpoints.blogspot.com/2006/12/conscientious-objectors.html
Merry Christmas right back at ya, sinner!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:32
“I’m saved, fuckers”
LOLROFOMFGCYBTS
It.Simply.Gets.No.Better.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:32
Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Rudyard Kipling said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:33
Y’know, it used to really chap my ass when a good thread would get totally taken over by that whack-job bimbo, but since her conversion to Pie-N-Tology, I find her to be a pleasant contributor, if slightly redundant. Thanks, babe. Have a slice of the Apple…
mikey
Seanly said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:34
Hey! Bush said we need to expand the Army & the Marines! Do I smell a draft? What a nice Christmas present for the underprivileged. We all need to make sacrifices for the GWOT so what better way than for the stinking masses to give up their children.
I say Bush shot for the homerun & declare he is wiping out any taxes for corporations & the top 1% wealthiest.
His Grace said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:35
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Judge not, lest ye be judged.
I guess the exception is when there is a liberal/terrorist involved. Then it is totally not “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Then God totally wants you to deport them to Guantanamo where they can be
torturedaggressively interrogated.ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:36
Frog knocked on Toad’s door.
“Toad, wake up,” he cried.
“Come out and see
how wonderfull the winter is!”
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:38
Mat 25:40 And the king will answer them, 1 ‘I tell you the truth, 2 just as you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters 3 of mine, you did it for me.’
Annie, look — you can’t run around spouting hate like you’re possessed by Captain Howdy and then claim you love Jesus. For lo, such a person is like unto a dingleberry who clingeth by a pube to her Savior’s posterior, yet is wiped off and left to desiccate in the hot Judean desert wind.
You have to at least pretend to love people like the rest of your tribe, or it’s no good!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:40
Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:40
The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Pinko Punko said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:41
OK, my script is working. It just said I was going to be assraped by pie.
What is going on?
I didn’t even start anything. If anyone was sucker punched here, it was ME.
Double-A was way out of line. Go to your room and simmer down, turbo.
Thank you Mikey for not responding. I owe you a gigantic pork snorkel. Also, pictures of the boys for Jillypants who should not have to put up with this stuff.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:43
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
Green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:44
Jeez Annie, you’re thinking about ass a lot. Hemorrhoids acting up, or something?
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:45
Pie beat me up and took my cookies!!
Pinko, there is good within you – thanks…
mikey
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:45
Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:46
Jillian should definately put up with this stuff! Why should only I put up with it??? Huh??? Huh, Pinko?
You most certainly started it. And yes I am out of line, but I’ve never been happier to be out of line in my life.
I hope you get crabs. :) CUz like, I’ve HEARD, just heard mind you, that Jillyspants are INFESTED. ;)
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:47
Free your mind and your ass will follow. The kingdom of heaven is within.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:49
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:50
Annie: Your first clue was “S,N!” Plainly the comma is standing in for an I.
Now please abhor off, and go cleave to something good.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:53
I’m gonna go back to Gary’s ugliness, ’cause it’s really disturbing:
As well, the parts of his story that he’s not revealing are being exposed, like the possibility that he was indoctrinated in Muslim schools until he was a teenager.
Y’know, maybe it’s just their proximity, but I’m a LOT more afraid of these crazy whack-job christianists than I am of any Muslim. Actually, I only know one Muslim and he’s a really good friend and not a threat. But theres a BUNCH of jeezus freaks that flat concern me, and Gary? I’m lookin at you. Watchfully…
mikey
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:53
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
Sir Stephen Henry Roberts.
I tire of this – it was fun while it lasted – but dinner needs cooking.
Aioli said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Did somebody say crabcakes??
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Mayonnaise said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:55
Choad.
Dijonnaise said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
I’m on the outside looking in.
Miracle Whip said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
Don’t I know it.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:56
And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues. And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore, and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh, and burn her with fire. For God hath put in their hearts to fulfil his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:57
Agreed, ironicname.
Hopefully, Mario will show up later to make this thread perfect.
——————————————————–
Indiana Jones vs. The Temple of Doom
Seanly said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:58
I don’t hate God. I just know he doesn’t exist.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:58
Mikey is jsut TERRIFIED of the Christians!!! Oh no!!! There’s EVERYWHERE!!!
In government, in the schools, in the streets, and they are like, DOING things to Mikey, forcing Mikey to suffer and suffer and oh woe is Mikey the Lame!! Brave Sir Whiny Liberal, hating Christians for existing, and fering Christians ans fear is born of hate and Mikey is born of a crack whore.
Oh poor sinners, you don’t understand that you are DOOMED, your mocking and you slavering resembling nothing more than the specral gasps of the ghost of death itself, the death of Jesus on the Cross, over and over each time you mock His sacrifice and let His Blood run into the swere rather than accept it and it’s saving Grace, you don’t profane His Blood which would save you, but the sewer become more Holy than you.
Morons.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:59
I owe you a gigantic pork snorkel.
Sssshhhh! Don’t tell Pinko, I know he means well, but is this a sex act or food? I mean, I’d likely be ok with either, but should I bring a condom or a plate? Somebody help me out here…
miky
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 3:59
Annie, what’s this about sex with Karl Rove?
Anne Laurie said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:00
I liked the comment from the Malkin freak that claims that it’s impossible to sign your name 40 times an hour.
… in crayon. All caps. Wavering above & below the line his mommy draws for him to sign on. ‘Cause you know the Malkintents (love it!) are all about their research skillz!
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:00
Back on topic, it looks like Malkin has found a temp job during the holiday season.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:03
A pork snorkel is what you need to have sex with Jillian. She has this problem with her vagina that Pinko told me about. It’s more like a marsupial pouch.
EdsAppliance said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:04
Pie 3:14159
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:04
Well, dammit, that’s what I get for trying to make a timely snark without immediately refreshing the page prior to posting my comment.
____________
The Hardy Boys v. The Case of the Suspiciously Tented Pants
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:05
Oh yeah, and it has to be a GIGANTIC pork snorkel. I’ve heard, jsut heard mind you, guy have gotten lost in there and suffocated.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:05
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:06
Pie 3:14159
At some point in the future I’m stealing that.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:07
Of course you will, Bubba, cuz like it’s so fucking awesomely cool that you wish you thought of it yourself.
You’re the magic man!!!!
Stan Gable said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:16
Ogre, go get a pie.
Darkwater said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:19
Try to understand
Try to understand
Try, try, try to understand
He’s a magic man!!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:19
My God, it’s full of pie!
Miracle Whip said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:20
Psst, mikey it’s food. Bring a plate.
I think I am the only one not running greasemonkey here. It is like an entire world of absolute filth and vulgarity only open to me. I feel a little bit naughty.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:20
By their fruits you will know them.
Apple? Cherry? Blueberry? Peach?
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:21
Nope, not running greasemonkey either.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:21
I OWN THIS BOARD!!!
I AM THE NIGHT RIDER!!!!
I AM THE NIGHT RIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Roarke's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:22
Seriously, it is hard to take the insult “wallaby vagina” seriously. And I am being serious about the lack of seriousness.
AA, I thought you were doing great before Shoelimpy showed up again. He’s a bad influence, and he’s also not very bright. I think he takes advantage of you. Please leave him and get help.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:23
Righteous Bubba, I like this better than pi.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:23
Fear not, Miracle Whip, for you are not alone. I too am greasemonkeyless. The pies I see are in my mind’s eye.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:26
Jeezus Christ thunder, you’re some kinda book-learnin’ eggheaded brainiacal rocket scientician.
maddie said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:28
Oh good grief…
Happy Holidays, Mikey
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:31
But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:31
Going completely off-topic here, but did anyone happen to catch the George W. Bush impersonator on Monday Night Raw last night? I dunno, I may be the only wrestling fan on this board, so let me describe this:
They brought out “Dubya”, complete with a retinue of small-time wrestlers posing as Secret Service agents. As soon as he was introduced, he was booed mercilessly by the crowd, and they continued to harrass him as he tried to go through with a skit opposite a tag team called “Cryme Tyme.” It seemed by what he was saying that the WWE was really trying to get him over as a heel. That struck me as unusual since Vince McMahon, and indeed many of his wrestlers, are pretty conservative in their political views, when they’ve expressed them.
The point I want to make here is that, if you’re a conservative Republican, and you lose the adoration of a wrestling crowd, you’re pretty much toast on a stick.
Stan Gable said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:32
That’s my pie!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:32
Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.
jefflawson said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:33
“Where have you been this while away,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
‘Long with the rest on a picnic lay,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
They called us out of the barrack-yard
To Gawd knows where from Gosport Hard,
And you can’t refuse when you get the card,
And the Widow gives the party.
(Bugle: Ta–rara–ra-ra-rara!)
“What did you get to eat and drink,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
Standing water as thick as ink,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
A bit o’ beef that were three year stored,
A bit o’ mutton as tough as a board,
And a fowl we killed with a sergeant’s sword,
When the Widow give the party.
“What did you do for knives and forks,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
We carries ‘em with us wherever we walks,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
And some was sliced and some was halved,
And some was crimped and some was carved,
And some was gutted and some was starved,
When the Widow give the party.
“What ha’ you done with half your mess,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
They couldn’t do more and they wouldn’t do less,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
They ate their whack and they drank their fill,
And I think the rations has made them ill,
For half my comp’ny’s lying still
Where the Widow give the party.
“How did you get away — away,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
On the broad o’ my back at the end o’ the day,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
I comed away like a bleedin’ toff,
For I got four niggers to carry me off,
As I lay in the bight of a canvas trough,
When the Widow give the party.
“What was the end of all the show,
Johnnie, Johnnie?”
Ask my Colonel, for I don’t know,
Johnnie, my Johnnie, aha!
We broke a King and we built a road –
A court-house stands where the reg’ment goed.
And the river’s clean where the raw blood flowed
When the Widow give the party.
(Bugle: Ta–rara–ra-ra-rara!)
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:36
Believe it or don’t, Bubba, I used Taylor expansion series to hedge the Latin American equity warrants I was in charge of, back in the 90s.
So for instance, when one of the big hiccups occured back in 1994-1995ish, my positions actually made money, thanks to all the almost free out of the money puts I’d buy to cover my tail.
Nobody at work actually cared, since our company was being sold off to the highest bidder. But my family was proud of me, even though they had no idea what I was talking about.
P.S. That link to ‘tail’ was not the most imformative for this extended tale of what I was doing for a living back in the early 90s, but it is the link that made me laugh the most.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:40
PINKO JUST USE YOUR OWN DAMN NAME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!
And you are just JEALOUS of Shoe!!!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:42
shoelimpy -
And when you journey in the earth, there is no blame on you if you shorten the prayer, if you fear that those who disbelieve will cause you distress, surely the unbelievers are your open enemy.
But there came after them an evil generation, who neglected prayers and followed and sensual desires, so they win meet perdition.
But whoever disputes with you in this matter after what has come to you of knowledge, then say: Come let us call our sons and your sons and our women and your women and our near people and your near people, then let us be earnest in prayer, and pray for the curse of God on the liars.
And when you call to prayer they make it a mockery and a joke; this is because they are a people who do not understand.
And their prayer before the House is nothing but whistling and clapping of hands; taste then the chastisement, for you disbelieved.
Surely the hypocrites strive to deceive God, and He shall requite their deceit to them, and when they stand up to prayer they stand up sluggishly; they do it only to be seen of men and do not remember God save a little.
So when the sacred months have passed away, then slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them captives and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush, then if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, leave their way free to them; surely God is Forgiving, Merciful.
Wealth and children are the adornment of life.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:44
when one of the big hiccups occured back in 1994-1995ish
That would be the December Mistake in Mexico and its Tequila Effect throughout the region.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:45
FUCK ALL MUSLIM TERRORISTS!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:48
And Saint Atilla raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
‘Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and
people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large –
And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.’
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:50
I salute you, thunder, and wish you all the Asian tail you need.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:50
Unethical conduct is actually the conduct of destruction and fear; lies are told because one is afraid of the consequences should one tell the truth; thus, the liar is inevitably a coward, the coward is inevitably a liar.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:51
The one impulse in man which cannot be erased is his impulse toward freedom, his impulse toward sanity, toward higher levels of attainment in all of his endeavors.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:52
All liberals are cowards. It’s axiomatic.
And they are all parasites, they can’t function without their betters, becasue hating their betters is all they can do.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:52
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.
Wherever possible put people on “HOLD”.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:54
REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:54
You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere! Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16 … Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:56
We will now read from the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and … Duck!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:56
Incidentally, the WWE thing was interesting to hear about.
Carl Ballard said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:57
How do you jump down?
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 4:58
You would not tolerate for one moment the conduct in an individual that is commonplace in the acts of some nations. You would lock up such a person.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:00
wHO ASS YOU WHIP? yO MAMA’S? i HEAR YOU WHIP HER ASS AND SHE SAY, OHHHHHHHH, DATS MAMAS LITTLE MAN.oH WHIP MAMA BUTT MO, MAMA LIKE DAT BABY BOY!
aND OF COURSE I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I, i AM RUBBER YOU ARE GLUE, and YOU HAVE SHIT ON YOUR NOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Djur said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:03
“But I love Him and He loves me and we both HATE you. :)”
Hey, it’s Fred Phelps.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:03
mIKEY IS fRED pHELPS.
tHEY BOTH HATE THE SAME WAY.
tHEY ARE BOTH GOING TO FRY IN HELL.
tHEY ARE BOTH TRAITORS TO AMERICA.
tHEY ARE BOTH TROOP HATERS.
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:05
Thanks, Bubba.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:15
Merry Christmas, shlimpyâ„¢!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:15
“F**K ALL MUSLIM TERRORISTS!!!”
What, all at once? Or in sequence?
What about Irish terrorists?
Or Basque terrorists?
Do all Terrorists get to “knock boots” with you annie? Do they see it as a holy duty – a sort of “close your eyes and think of england” moment? I am surprised there’s so many around – there are a bizzillion just waiting to take over america, right?
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:19
Leviticus 11:
1: And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying unto them,
2: Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, These are the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that are on the earth.
3: Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, and cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat.
4: Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
5: And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
6: And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
7: And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.
8: Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.
9: These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12: Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
13: And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,
14: And the vulture, and the kite after his kind;
15: Every raven after his kind;
16: And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,
17: And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,
18: And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle,
19: And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
21: Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;
22: Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.
23: But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
24: And for these ye shall be unclean: whosoever toucheth the carcase of them shall be unclean until the even.
25: And whosoever beareth ought of the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
26: The carcases of every beast which divideth the hoof, and is not clovenfooted, nor cheweth the cud, are unclean unto you: every one that toucheth them shall be unclean.
27: And whatsoever goeth upon his paws, among all manner of beasts that go on all four, those are unclean unto you: whoso toucheth their carcase shall be unclean until the even.
28: And he that beareth the carcase of them shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: they are unclean unto you.
29: These also shall be unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise after his kind,
30: And the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole.
31: These are unclean to you among all that creep: whosoever doth touch them, when they be dead, shall be unclean until the even.
32: And upon whatsoever any of them, when they are dead, doth fall, it shall be unclean; whether it be any vessel of wood, or raiment, or skin, or sack, whatsoever vessel it be, wherein any work is done, it must be put into water, and it shall be unclean until the even; so it shall be cleansed.
33: And every earthen vessel, whereinto any of them falleth, whatsoever is in it shall be unclean; and ye shall break it.
34: Of all meat which may be eaten, that on which such water cometh shall be unclean: and all drink that may be drunk in every such vessel shall be unclean.
35: And every thing whereupon any part of their carcase falleth shall be unclean; whether it be oven, or ranges for pots, they shall be broken down: for they are unclean, and shall be unclean unto you.
36: Nevertheless a fountain or pit, wherein there is plenty of water, shall be clean: but that which toucheth their carcase shall be unclean.
37: And if any part of their carcase fall upon any sowing seed which is to be sown, it shall be clean.
38: But if any water be put upon the seed, and any part of their carcase fall thereon, it shall be unclean unto you.
39: And if any beast, of which ye may eat, die; he that toucheth the carcase thereof shall be unclean until the even.
40: And he that eateth of the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: he also that beareth the carcase of it shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even.
41: And every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth shall be an abomination; it shall not be eaten.
42: Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon all four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they are an abomination.
43: Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any creeping thing that creepeth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled thereby.
44: For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
45: For I am the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.
46: This is the law of the beasts, and of the fowl, and of every living creature that moveth in the waters, and of every creature that creepeth upon the earth:
47: To make a difference between the unclean and the clean, and between the beast that may be eaten and the beast that may not be eaten.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:21
fUCK eNGLAND TOO!!!
aLL mUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, READ UP THREAD, READ THEIR WON FILTHY WORDS, THEY ARE UNCLEAN SMELLY BASTARDS WHO HATE YOU MORE THAN i DO!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
Nearest among them in love to the believers you will find those who say ‘We are Christians;’ because among these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
This means tourists, right?
jefflawson said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:26
A Song of the Sandbags
No, Bill, I’m not a-spooning out no patriotic tosh
(The cove be’ind the sandbags ain’t a death-or-glory cuss).
And though I strafes ‘em good and ‘ard I doesn’t ‘ate the Boche,
I guess they’re mostly decent, just the same as most of us.
I guess they loves their ‘omes and kids as much as you or me;
And just the same as you or me they’d rather shake than fight;
And if we’d ‘appened to be born at Berlin-on-the-Spree,
We’d be out there with ‘Ans and Fritz, dead sure that we was right.
A-standin’ up to the sandbags
It’s funny the thoughts wot come;
Starin’ into the darkness,
‘Earin’ the bullets ‘um;
(Zing! Zip! Ping! Rip!
‘ark ‘ow the bullets ‘um!)
A-leanin’ against the sandbags
Wiv me rifle under me ear,
Oh, I’ve ‘ad more thoughts on a sentry-go
Than I used to ‘ave in a year.
I wonder, Bill, if ‘Ans and Fritz is wonderin’ like me
Wot’s at the bottom of it all? Wot all the slaughter’s for?
‘E thinks ‘e’s right (of course ‘e ain’t) but this we both agree,
If them as made it ‘ad to fight, there wouldn’t be no war.
If them as lies in feather beds while we kips in the mud;
If them as makes their fortoons while we fights for ‘em like ‘ell;
If them as slings their pot of ink just ‘ad to sling their blood:
By Crust! I’m thinkin’ there ‘ud be another tale to tell.
Shiverin’ up to the sandbags,
With a hicicle ‘stead of a spine,
Don’t it seem funny the things you think
‘Ere in the firin’ line:
(Whee! Whut! Ziz! Zut!
Lord! ‘ow the bullets whine!)
Hunkerin’ down when a star-shell
Cracks in a sputter of light,
You can jaw to yer soul by the sandbags
Most any old time o’ night.
They talks o’ England’s glory and a-’oldin’ of our trade,
Of Empire and ‘igh destiny until we’re fair flim-flammed;
But if it’s for the likes o’ that that bloody war is made,
Then wot I say is: Empire and ‘igh destiny be damned!
There’s only one good cause, Bill, for poor blokes like us to fight:
That’s self-defence, for ‘earth and ‘ome, and them that bears our name;
And that’s wot I’m a-doin’ by the sandbags ‘ere to-night. . . .
But Fritz out there will tell you ‘e’s a-doin’ of the same.
Starin’ over the sandbags,
Sick of the ‘ole damn thing;
Firin’ to keep meself awake,
‘Earin’ the bullets sing.
(Hiss! Twang! Tsing! Pang!
Saucy the bullets sing.)
Dreamin’ ‘ere by the sandbags
Of a day when war will cease,
When ‘Ans and Fritz and Bill and me
Will clink our mugs in fraternity,
And the Brotherhood of Labour will be
The Brotherhood of Peace.
from “Rhymes of a Red Cross Man (1916), Robert Service
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:28
you people no funny, ok????? you bad bad bad people, ok??? god hate you, ok???? you go to hell, ok???? unbelievers!!!@!@!!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:32
Has anyone noticed that AA’s link no longer works?
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:33
You know, I don’t even need that script.
Just knowing that every third comment in this thread is extolling the virtues of pie to many of the readers makes me laugh-especially when you get a chance to read both sides of the pie!
mikey, from the religious fervor I’ve seen in emu-land, I believe the pork snorkel is BOTH a food and a sex act.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:33
Has anyone noticed that Clint’s dick smells like his mama’s snatch?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:34
It’s a fishy, yeasty smell.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:36
Sadly, Ho!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
http://missanienagel.blogspot.com/
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The requested URL was not found on this server. Please visit the Blogger homepage or the Blogger Knowledge Base for further assistance.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
This passage from leviticus has always puzzled me:
23: But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.
What sort of flying things have four feet? Bats are mentioned in 19.
There seems to be some error here – Insects have six legs, birds two – what does it mean?
Gavin M. said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:37
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
See, this one I’ve never understood.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:38
beat ya!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:38
I approved yo mama last night.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:39
Ummm, DAMN, jefflawson, that was intese. Made me shiver and throw a log on the fire. But thanks – it’s important to always remember the horror….
mikey
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:44
you mean mean man gavin, ok??? you hate god, ok???? you go to hell, ok??? i laugh, ok??? hahahahaha, ok???? inchrist, annie
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:45
Wingnut Moses believes in four-legged birds. Sadly, No!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:47
Don’t eat alien four legged birds or bugs eh?
Nothing to see here – move along – and ditch the rye you’ve got in storage.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:49
No shrimp sushi?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:50
Only Hannukah lobster rolls are allowed.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:51
And ANOTHER THING Gavin….what the fuck is WRONG with you???? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM?????????
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:51
Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my http//
Askimet said it was spam.
Spam.
SPAM.
Yo mama says Hi.
WARNING: 4592-192837- “//home.dingle-dangle/gavin-is-teh-ghey.sadly/no/header-header-two-oh-niner/five0006″>
Ask for it
Ask for it
Oh where doth the wind blow?
Jimmy says hi. Jimmy says bye. Oh where or where is Jane?
warning. Warning. WARNING.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:53
No pork rinds
No terrapin soup
But hey, set the table for the locusts, grasshoppers and beetles! MMMM crunchy!
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:55
48: Ye shall not make yourselves abominable with any trolling thing that trolleth, neither shall ye make yourselves unclean with them, that ye should be defiled with pie.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:56
Gavin wants to taste my pie. Don’t you, Gavin?
Richard 23 said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:57
What are you drinking tonight, Annie?
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:57
Four-legged pie?
Does this mean the Babble is … errant? Where else may there be mistakes, I wonder?
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:58
No matter where; of comfort no man speak:
Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth,
Let’s choose executors and talk of wills:
And yet not so, for what can we bequeath
Save our deposed bodies to the ground?
Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s,
And nothing can we call our own but death
And that small model of the barren earth
Which serves as paste and cover to our bones.
For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings;
How some have been deposed; some slain in war,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed;
Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d;
All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a king
Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin
Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king!
Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood
With solemn reverence: throw away respect,
Tradition, form and ceremonious duty,
For you have but mistook me all this while:
I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:58
as long as we’re quoting great war poets, I’ve got a taste for Sassoon
A Working Party
Three hours ago he blundered up the trench,
Sliding and poising, groping with his boots;
Sometimes he tripped and lurched against the walls
With hands that pawed the sodden bags of chalk.
He couldn’t see the man who walked in front;
Only he heard the drum and rattle of feet
Stepping along barred trench boards, often splashing
Wretchedly where the sludge was ankle-deep.
Voices would grunt `Keep to your right — make way!’
When squeezing past some men from the front-line:
White faces peered, puffing a point of red;
Candles and braziers glinted through the chinks
And curtain-flaps of dug-outs; then the gloom
Swallowed his sense of sight; he stooped and swore
Because a sagging wire had caught his neck.
A flare went up; the shining whiteness spread
And flickered upward, showing nimble rats
And mounds of glimmering sand-bags, bleached with rain;
Then the slow silver moment died in dark.
The wind came posting by with chilly gusts
And buffeting at the corners, piping thin.
And dreary through the crannies; rifle-shots
Would split and crack and sing along the night,
And shells came calmly through the drizzling air
To burst with hollow bang below the hill.
Three hours ago, he stumbled up the trench;
Now he will never walk that road again:
He must be carried back, a jolting lump
Beyond all needs of tenderness and care.
He was a young man with a meagre wife
And two small children in a Midland town,
He showed their photographs to all his mates,
And they considered him a decent chap
Who did his work and hadn’t much to say,
And always laughed at other people’s jokes
Because he hadn’t any of his own.
That night when he was busy at his job
Of piling bags along the parapet,
He thought how slow time went, stamping his feet
And blowing on his fingers, pinched with cold.
He thought of getting back by half-past twelve,
And tot of rum to send him warm to sleep
In draughty dug-out frowsty with the fumes
Of coke, and full of snoring weary men.
He pushed another bag along the top,
Craning his body outward; then a flare
Gave one white glimpse of No Man’s Land and wire;
And as he dropped his head the instant split
His startled life with lead, and all went out.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:59
Richard!!! Come here Richard, give Annie a kiss!
Let’s be friends, we members of the Eshcaton community need to stick together! I’m taking a “special” picture for Ntodd’s blog.
Watch for it!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 5:59
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
Ok, that could describe some creepy chickenhawks on this thread.
Next thing you know, they’re whining about their hemorrhoids.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:00
32: And upon whatsoever any of them, when they are dead, doth fall, it shall be unclean; whether it be any vessel of wood, or raiment, or skin, or sack, whatsoever vessel it be, wherein any work is done, it must be put into water, and it shall be unclean until the even; so it shall be cleansed.
Just a reminder, Annie – wash Shoe’s balls with water before teabagging, please. So sayeth the Lord your God.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:06
President Bush admits he is a liar!
Huh?
What???????
Kinda-Gotcha
Ha ha ha ha ha
Liberals. Shake. n. Bake
Ju.
Ju-On.
Ju-Ona Dance?
Everybody dance now.
R2D2
I wordpressed yo mama last night. Last night. Last night. Last night.
Oh yeah.
Last night.
Click on submit. I like the hit. Click on submit. Submit to the Lord. Oh yeah, baby, feel’s so good.
Preview. Preview. View Pre. View Pre. I cannot view my Pre from my Prius.
Handhelds, tablets and cell phones.
Oh my!
My oh!
Sadly, so badly, I know
Asses oh my gases what asses they be
Dastards and bastards so full of glee
Liars and fliers
You know who I mean
Nobody knows
Oh nobody knows
Such troubles as I have seen
Underneath the bridge, where they left me to die
Can’t someone spare a dime?
Killing me softly and slowly with time
Such troubles as I have seen
Jesus loves you, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
So why won’t you listen?
dont u want to lissen? lissen?
stop pissen on christ
Our Lord.
Our Savior.
Amen.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:07
I teabagged yo mama last night.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:08
The war poems are a nice counterpoint to the pie.
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:10
“Sadly, No!: The Pie Wars.”
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:10
You teabagged Wilmer Valdarrama to get that lame-ass comeback.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:11
“Begun This Pie War Has”
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:12
Gavin wants to take a big bite of my pie, my hot peach pie!
Oh Gavin, bite it like a peach baby, mmmm, like a nice warm peach, the fuzz tickling your nose, the juice dripping down your chin, your teeth genlty scraping the stone, oh baby, you got me HOT!
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:16
I’m out after this one.
Another Sassoon:
Suicide in the Trenches
I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.
In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.
You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you’ll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:17
Pie leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:18
Pie leads to ooey gooey goodness, right Gavin??
lharris said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:19
The trollbot server is desperately in need of a reboot.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:20
Gavin just emailed me that he is sorry that things got so out of hand, and that he hates you all and he loves me.
I told him he’s not getting any of my pie. Let’s see what he writes back……
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:21
I got almost nothing. One from the Pogues:
When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said son
Its time to stop rambling cause theres work to be
Done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played waltzing matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the
Cheers
We sailed off to gallipoli
How well I remember that terrible day
when the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called suvla bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He showered us with bullets, he rained us with
Shells
And in five minutes flat hed blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to australia
But the band played waltzing matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
And we buried ours and the turks buried theirs
Then it started all over again
Now those who were living did their best to survive
In that mad world of blood, death and fire
And for seven long weeks I kept myself alive
while the corpses around me piled higher
Then a big turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, christ I wished I wasDead
Never knew there were worse things than dying
and no more Ill go waltzing matilda
to the green bushes so far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing matilda for me
So they collected the cripples, the wounded
Maimed
And they shipped us back home to australia
the legless, the armless, the blind and insane
Those proud wounded heroes of suvla
And as our ship pulled into circular quay
I looked at the place where legs used to be
And thank christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity
And the band played waltzing matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
and they turned all their faces away
And now every april I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me
i see my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving the dreams of past glory
I see the old men, all twisted and torn
The forgotten heroes of a forgotten war
And the young people ask me, what are they
Marching for?
And I ask myself the same question
And the band plays waltzing matilda
And the old men still answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all
Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
Wholl go a-waltzing matilda with me?
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:22
I felt a great disturbance in the Pie, as if millions of apples suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:23
wOW. i WISH i COULD THINK OF THINGS LIKE THAT TO SAY.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:23
Obviously
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:24
While goin’ the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo
While goin’ the road to sweet Athy, hurroo, hurroo
While goin’ the road to sweet Athy
A stick in me hand and a drop in me eye
A doleful damsel I heard cry,
Johnny I hardly knew ye.
With your drums and guns and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
With your drums and guns and drums and guns, hurroo, hurroo
With your drums and guns and drums and guns
The enemy nearly slew ye
Oh my darling dear, Ye look so queer
Johnny I hardly knew ye.
Where are your eyes that were so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are your eyes that were so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are your eyes that were so mild
When my heart you so beguiled
Why did ye run from me and the child
Oh Johnny, I hardly knew ye.
Where are your legs that used to run, hurroo, hurroo
Where are your legs that used to run, hurroo, hurroo
Where are your legs that used to run
When you went for to carry a gun
Indeed your dancing days are done
Oh Johnny, I hardly knew ye.
I’m happy for to see ye home, hurroo, hurroo
I’m happy for to see ye home, hurroo, hurroo
I’m happy for to see ye home
All from the island of Sulloon
So low in flesh, so high in bone
Oh Johnny I hardly knew ye.
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg
Ye’re an armless, boneless, chickenless egg
Ye’ll have to put with a bowl out to beg
Oh Johnny I hardly knew ye.
They’re rolling out the guns again, hurroo, hurroo
They’re rolling out the guns again, hurroo, hurroo
They’re rolling out the guns again
But they never will take our sons again
No they never will take our sons again
Johnny I’m swearing to ye.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:25
DIRTY OLD TOWN!!! DIRTY OLD TOWN!!!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:27
Π∞
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:28
_\O/_
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:28
i sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at pie:
a conscientious abstain-ie
Richard 23 said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:28
Whiskey then, is it? Black Velvet, perhaps?
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:28
She goes for her medical
Shes passed, its a miracle
Shes up over the moon
She whistles nonsense tunes
She wants drinks for everyone
Shes found a chord that she can strum
Emotions leaking out
Her pants all over town
Whats that shes playing?
(annie get your pie)
Whats that shes taking?
(the song has to be sung)
Shes gone electric
(annie wipe them out)
Thats unexpected
(strum that thing and shout)
Dont pull that trigger
(annie get your pie)
Dont shoot that singer
(youre shooting number one)
Hes not into miracles
Sees life all too cynical
The cat has got his tongue
Now she bangs on his drum
He says pull the other one
Bells ring, look what you have done
Emotions leaking out
Her pants all over town
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:29
TROLL BOT
SCROLL TROLL
BOWL BOWL BOWL
Give a gift this season
As soon as you can
Violins and pie tins and honey in a pot
Idylls in the wyld
No more, no more, no more of this today
Idiots or shitiots
Such is not to say
Tomorrow never dies but yesterday never lives
Evil men are loving him but not a gift among them
Holidays are the time for generosity, and Christmas most of all
Give a gift this season
Hell its Christmas after all
Everyone can find someone
Yesterday or today, but tomorrow never dies
My caps lock is broken
Can somebody fix it?
fix it somebody. CAN’T SOMEBODY FIX IT?
Warning. Warning. The WHOLE EARTH IS WARMING!
Al GORE bumped HIS head and HE WENT TO BED and then Gaia couldn’t get up in the MORNING
D35DCCCDBR4DWH3R34R3U????TXT4UOUOWOOO444993382828282JSSLVSU/keepmystyle.com/woot!woot!
This ain’t yo mama’s house. It ain’t yo daddy’s house. fnord. It ain’t yo granny’s house. It ain’t you auntie’s house.
So whose house.
RUNS HOUSE?
Our house. Motherfucker. fuckermother
i don’t even know her
WARNING. This is a TEST. It is ONLY a TeSt.
Testes, tESTes, One TWO tHrEE
One for you and two for me. Two for you and four for me. Five for you and all for me.
for me.
me for.
4 huh?
One Two Three What are we fighting FOR?!
Richard 23 said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:29
O_o;
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:30
Richard is in love with Shoe. But Shoe isn’t in love with Richard. This is all just gossip so you didn’t hear it from me.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:31
YOu ROCK ShOe.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:32
In light of Annie’s request for Dirty Old Town, this comment regarding Freebird on Songfacts:
Still has to be the greatest song ever written and it is the National Anthem of the South. No matter what show I’m watching I always yell Freebird-even kids parties and church. I was at a private party with the 2006 Marshall Tucker Band and of course I asked them to play and that’s when I found out the reason most bands don’t play it is the guitars are so complicated most can’t keep up. So if you want to judge how good a band is see if they’ll do it. If not you know they suck. BTW-Marshall T killed it that night on Lake Wateree.
- Jeff, Columbia, SC
So, that asshole has finally been identified as “Jeff” of Columbia, SC.
Gavin M. said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:33
Gavin just emailed me that he is sorry that things got so out of hand, and that he hates you all and he loves me.
[...]
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:37
Now he just emailed me again, asking me to please stop making our relationship public. Why do I need to hide, Gavin??
HUH??? I’m tired of the games, baby. Let’s let our love shine!
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:39
Pie just emailed me that it is sorry to be so sour and tasteless.
It admits that it was completely out of line, regrets the ensuing ugliness, and hopes the next pie is sweeter.
Some Guy said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:40
Aww, is Malkin pissed that Coulter got a TIME cover and she didn’t?
http://www.bebopboard.com/forums/images/smilies/WAHbulance1.gif
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:41
Now in darkness world stops turning,
ashes where the pies were burning.
No more War Pies have the power,
Hand of God has struck the hour.
Day of judgement, God is calling,
on their knees the war pies crawling.
Begging mercies for their sins,
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings.
Oh lord, yeah! Let’s eat!
Clint said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:41
Buddha on a Triscuit! Those two sure love their pie.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:42
The Guns of Brixton just emailed me.
They want to know when the law breaks in, how you gonna go?
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:42
A way, today, I shall find a way
Avenge my death and kill mine foes
Awesome be my Viking might
All fall beneath my sword
Blood tastes good upon my lips, the blood of babies shed
By my blade and by my hand
By Odin by Thor by Vikings bred
Brains upon the ground.
Cows do howl in Muslim bowls
Children screaming and fleeing and crying and dying before my blade
Can’t you see the battle rage?
Can’t you see the fires in the Sun?
Death to all who stand before me
Die in the names of Odin and of Thor and of Loki the Trickster
Deep within thy flesh
Doctor could have fixed her
Evil men will rue the day
Everyone shall die
Eyes upon me, lies upon me, dies upon me
Even in the fray
For Odin!
For Thor!
For Valhalla!
For all the Gods I fight
Gambler’s halls I burn
Giving ashes to the ground
Gimps and wimps and solar pimps
Go away into the flames
High into the sky my holy smoke does rise
Heavenbound the holy wound is soothed
Heaps of bodies tossed upon the ground
Hammers of warto settle the score that Satan began that day
In ancient times the peasants so afraid they were
Into the present the still fear, the liberals on the moors
Inspiring, perspiring, sweat runs down their brow
Idiots die before me
Justice is my name
Just because I want to kill
Jungles in the gym I fly, my warhammer crushing skulls
Jumping up and jumping down their bodies on the ground.
Chairman Meow said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:45
Man, that’s gonna be a bummer hangover tomorrow morning, Pyemystress.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:46
I own this board.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:47
There is so much wrong in that sock- pie….
see you in the next thread.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:51
Mmm. Country pie
Proof that pie makes you stupid.
.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:51
Proof that pie makes you stupid.
.
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:52
reminds me of….
This song is called Alice’s Restaurant, and it’s about Alice, and the
restaurant, but Alice’s Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
that’s just the name of the song, and that’s why I called the song Alice’s
Restaurant.
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant
Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on – two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn’t live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin’ in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin’ all that room,
seein’ as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn’t
have to take out their garbage for a long time.
We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it’d be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.
Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, “Closed on Thanksgiving.” And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.
We didn’t find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our’s down.
That’s what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn’t be beat, went to sleep and didn’t get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, “Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it.” And
I said, “Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under that garbage.”
After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
police officer’s station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police officer’s station.
Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn’t very likely, and
we didn’t expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer’s station
there was a third possibility that we hadn’t even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said “Obie, I don’t think I
can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on.” He said, “Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the patrol car.”
And that’s what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer’s station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that’s not to
mention the aerial photography.
After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, “Kid, I’m going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt.” And I said, “Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I don’t have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?” And he said, “Kid, we don’t want any hangings.”
I said, “Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?”
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn’t hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn’t bend the bars roll out the – roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It’s a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat,
and didn’t get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.
We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, “All rise.” We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
’cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn’t nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn’t going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.
Came to talk about the draft.
They got a building down New York City, it’s called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o’ mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, “Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604.”
And I went up there, I said, “Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL.” And I started jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, “KILL, KILL.” And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”
Didn’t feel too good about it.
Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin’ to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, “What do you want?” He said, “Kid, we only got
one question. Have you ever been arrested?”
And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice’s Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome… – and he stopped me right there and said, “Kid, did you ever
go to court?”
And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, “Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W …. NOW kid!!”
And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W’s
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean ‘n’ ugly
‘n’ nasty ‘n’ horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, “Kid, whad’ya get?” I said, “I didn’t get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage.” He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?”
And I said, “Littering.” And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, “And creating a nuisance.” And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.
“Kids, this-piece-of-paper’s-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
officer’s-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say”, and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following words:
(“KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?”)
I went over to the sargent, said, “Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I’ve rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I’m
sittin’ here on the bench, I mean I’m sittin here on the Group W bench
’cause you want to know if I’m moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein’ a litterbug.” He looked at me and
said, “Kid, we don’t like your kind, and we’re gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington.”
And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I’m
singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
situation like that there’s only one thing you can do and that’s walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say “Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice’s restaurant.”. And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and
they won’t take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they’re both faggots and they won’t take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out. They may think it’s an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.
And that’s what it is, the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come’s around on the guitar.
With feeling. So we’ll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes.
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I’ve been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes. I’m not proud… or tired.
So we’ll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
harmony and feeling.
We’re just waitin’ for it to come around is what we’re doing.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:53
Ham on Rye
Rye on Ham
Spam I like I like the SPAM for Ma’am to Me Gonna Jam on Ham Tonight Oh Yeah
Pepsi
All life is a sham
a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham a sham
Submitted comment PREVIEWTOASK
Akismet
Metikisa but not your sistah fnord sista sista down and around on the way to town
don’t frown little clown it get’s me down
Please dOn’t frOwn little cloWn
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POetry in mOtion giRls Boys RadicAl maDical Right?
can you read between THE LINES
what are the lines?
where are the lines?
jiminy crickets by glory all whory fifty-forty can you read between the lines?
denver in paris on france’s last airs
Eiffel a trifle some tripe will you please?
God said to Satan do you like anchovies? Peas? Or Cheese?
poor me
to be or not to be a question is not asked by can i ask the question that i’ve been dying to ask?
no
NO
nO
oh my for pie fnord i like the pie i pie i like oh pie oh my my script says this my script says that
44DD332266HHIIJJddllPPEEAASSAANNDDCCOORRNNBBRREEAADDdd9922992200aall//ddjfjfjfhghjalowpqpqirjfl..cx,llppp?????
.asp.net.com.org.php.us.ca.mx.uk.au.pw.333333hh333333w3 consortium
Illuminati time to potty
hotty hotty
shake a lEg yo mama saId
lame and lame and lamer
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 6:57
well crap, I think I broke the pie.
Utah Phillips said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:03
My God, that’s moose turd pie!
JK47 said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:03
Ham on Rye
Rye on Ham
Spam I like I like the SPAM for Ma’am to Me Gonna Jam on Ham Tonight Oh Yeah
Pepsi…
Stream of douche-esness.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:05
Stream of douche-esness.
Heh heh … “Bowel” by shoelimpy.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:05
JK47 is a really cool name. How’d you think of it? Did it just come to you in a flash of inspired wit? Or did you steal it from someone else?
Shake and Bake!
N. C. said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:07
I love this place.
Pie Traynor said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:07
All your threads are belong to me.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:09
It’s me you love. Admit it!!!!!!!! This place dies without me.
I should be worshipped by you heathens.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:10
Proof that pie makes you stupid.
Impressive, young Jedi!
How about this, courtesy of Chase Me Ladies? (aka Harry Hutton’s House of … well I’m not sure what noun would suffice here.)
And the darn video is gone. You can hardly imagine the hilarity.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:11
There once was a girl called Michelle
Who detected a horrible smell
From the liberal press
Who’d made a big mess
Of the, oops, wait, that’s not right, oh well.
In all seriousness, that belongs in a book, like one of those compilations of great poetry literature students buy.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:17
Bacon shakin shakin’ on a pie
Blackbirds, blackbirds
23 4 me
http://www.clocksruletehportal.com/yoyoma/hippie-jippie-drippie-kippie.html
DRUMSTICKS, drumsticks, drumSTICKS, drumsticks, DRUMsticks, DRUMSTICKS
Beings we are, all human we be
Religions and races and ethnicities
All of us together are one
Don’t you think that that would be fun?
Really, I mean, wouldn’t it be great?
Can’t you see it?
Amen to the lord!
Now it is time for peace on earth
Time to stop the war!
See the future, see the past
Peace and peace and peace and peace
Everyone is happy now, christ rules over this place
Lost is satan, lost are the wicked
Lucifer’s bowels their home
WARNING WARNING warning WARNING
stop the warning warning the stop oh stop please stop the warning
campells soup in a can a can of ham on rye for spam
no trolling trolling no, Trolling, No! happy to be of service
but are you being served?
are you experienced?
xmas time? oh xmas tree? oh xmas on a sign?
a war on new year’s blessed be
the yuletide solstice tonite
overnite that’s rite how r u???????????????????????????????????
tak a jak a tak a jak a tak a jak (home.user/deva/beep-beep-beep(gavin-loves-annie-.com)—-httpmmm(annie-hates-gavin.org)))))???.asp.blog.com.compinkopunkosucksdonkeyballs.htmacphxfffj3b
The Lost TrIbeS of iSraEl
if god be with us who can be against us?
against?
against?
against?
halleLUjah
aMEN
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:19
You can hardly imagine the hilarity.
I don’t know. I can imagine quite a bit.
Just tying in the Pie Wars quotes.
J— said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:22
A jolly dancing pie, full of Christmas spirit.
miker said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:22
An essay on annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child
Issues surrounding annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child can never be over analysed. Many an afternoon has been enjoyed by a family, bonding over the discussion of annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child. While it is becoming a hot topic for debate, annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child is not given the credit if deserves for inspiring many of the worlds famous painters. It still has the power to shock those politicaly minded individuals living in the past, who form the last great hope for our civilzation. Though I would rather be in bed I will now examine the primary causes of annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child.
Social Factors
There is cultural and institutional interdependence between members of any community. When Lance Bandaner said ‘twelve times I’ve traversed the ocean of youthful ambition but society still collects my foot prints’ [1] he shead new light on annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child, allowing man to take it by the hand and understand its momentum. A society without annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child is like a society without knowledge, in that it cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.
Did I mention how lovely annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child is? Clearly it promotes higher individualism and obeyence of instinct. As soon as a child meets annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child they are changed.
Economic Factors
There has been a great deal of discussion in the world of economics, centred on the value of annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child. We will study the Simple-Many-Pies model of economics. Interest
annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child
There is no longer a need to argue the importance of annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child, it is clear to see that the results speak for themselves. The question which surfaces now is, how? Seemingly interest has always depended upon annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child to a certain extent, but now more that ever. In the light of this free trade must be examined.
Political Factors
Politics, we all agree, is a fact of life. Politicians find it difficult to choose between what has become known in politics as – ‘The two ways’ – annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child and ones own image of themselves.
To quote that most brilliant mind Vatusia Shandy ‘consciousness complicates a myriad of progressions.’ [2] This clearly illustrates the primary concern of those involved with annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child. To paraphrase, the quote is saying ‘annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child wins votes.’ Simple as that.
Why did annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child cross the road? – To get to the other side! Just my little joke, but lets hope that annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child doesn’t inspire similar hilarity in the next elections.
Conclusion
In summary, annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child plays a large part in the lives of all. It enlightens our daily lives, it stimulates and never hides.
I shall give the final word to star Justin Cruise: ‘I love annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child? Yes! Hurray for annieangel and shoelimpy’s love child!’ [3]
——————————————————————————–
[1] Lance Bandaner – Adventurous Spirit – 1993 See-Saw Publishing
[2] Shandy – Ice Cold – 1994 Pitter Patter Publishing
[3] Smashing Hits – Issue 224 – Jazz Media
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:24
Wow. We are privileged to be present at the birth of a new form of poetry, invented by Shoelimpy.
Brilliant!
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:28
Dammit, someone put up a lot of stupid words above my post.
Gavin, ban that asshole.
miker said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:29
An essay on the god of shoelimpy
In order to understand our selves, we must first understand the god of shoelimpy. I really, really like the god of shoelimpy. While it is becoming a hot topic for debate, several of todays most brilliant minds seem incapable of recognising its increasing relevance to understanding future generations. Inevitably feelings run deep amongst the upper echelons of progressive service sector organisations, many of whom blame the influence of television. Hold onto your hats as we begin a journey into the god of shoelimpy.
Social Factors
Comparisons between Roman Society and Medieval Society give a clear picture of the importance of the god of shoelimpy to developments in social conduct. I will not insult the readers inteligence by explaining this obvious comparison any further. When The Tygers of Pan Tang sang ‘It’s lonely at the top. Everybody’s trying to do you in’ [1] , they must have been referning to the god of shoelimpy. Both tyranny and democracy are tried and questioned. Yet the god of shoelimpy smells of success.
Nothing represents every day life better than the god of shoelimpy, and I mean nothing. If society has a favourite child, it is the god of shoelimpy.
Economic Factors
The dictionary defines economics as ‘the social science concerned with the production, distribution, exchange, and consumption of goods and services’. We will begin by looking at the Simple-Many-Pies model, a lovely model. Market
Value
Of
Gold
the god of shoelimpy
How do we explain these clear trends? Even a child could work out that the market value of gold cannot sustain this instability for long. Assumptions made by traders have caused uncertainty amongst the private sector.
Political Factors
Politics – smolitics! Looking at the spectrum represented by a single political party can be reminiscent of comparing the god of shoelimpyism and post-the god of shoelimpyism.
To quote style icon Esperanza H. Amster ‘The success of any political system can only truly be assessed once the fat lady has sung.’ [2] Primarily, he is referring to the god of shoelimpy. If the god of shoelimpy be the food of politics, play on.
The question which we must each ask ourselves is, will we allow the god of shoelimpy to win our vote?
Conclusion
To reiterate, the god of shoelimpy has played a large part in the development of man in the 20th Century and its influence remains strong. It brings peace, brought up a generation and is always fashionably late.
I will leave you with the words of Hollywood’s Whoopi Hanks: ‘I demand the god of shoelimpy, nothing more nothing less.’ [3]
——————————————————————————–
[1] Tygers of Pang Tang – The Cage – 1982 MCR Records
[2] Amster – The Popular Vote – 2002 Worldwide Publishing
[3] Weekly the god of shoelimpy – Issue 54 – Rhino Media
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:30
Annie and shlimpy take the Wealâ„¢
miker said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:30
An essay on annieangel’s sexual frustration
To delve deeply into annieangel’s sexual frustration is an exciting adventure. I find my self constantly drawn back to the subject of annieangel’s sexual frustration. Until recently considered taboo amongst polite society, it is impossible to overestimate its impact on modern thought. Often it is seen as both a help and a hinderence to the upper echelons of progressive service sector organisations, who just don’t like that sort of thing. With the primary aim of demonstrating my considerable intellect I will now demonstrate the complexity of the many faceted issue that is annieangel’s sexual frustration.
Social Factors
Society is a human product. When The Tygers of Pan Tang sang ‘It’s lonely at the top. Everybody’s trying to do you in’ [1] , they must have been referning to annieangel’s sexual frustration. No symbol is more potent than annieangel’s sexual frustration in society today. It cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.
Primarily annieangel’s sexual frustration builds trust among the people. Clearly it promotes higher individualism and obeyence of instinct. As soon as a child meets annieangel’s sexual frustration they are changed.
Economic Factors
Economics has been defined as ‘I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.’ To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. We will begin by looking at the Maiden-Tuesday-Lending model, making allowances for recent changes in interest rates. Interest
annieangel’s sexual frustration
The results displayed in the graph are too clear to be ignored. Clearly interest will eventually break free from the powerful influence of annieangel’s sexual frustration, but not before we see a standardised commercial policy for all. Many analysts fear a subsequent depression.
Political Factors
Politics was once a game featuring competitors from elite classes. Comparing the electoral politics of most Western and Eastern European countries is like comparing annieangel’s sexual frustrationism and post-annieangel’s sexual frustrationism.
We cannot talk of annieangel’s sexual frustration and politics without remembering the words of a legend in their own life time, Noah Bootlegger ‘A man must have his cake and eat it in order to justify his actions.’ [2] Considered by many to be one of the ‘Founding Fathers’ of annieangel’s sexual frustration, his words cannot be over-looked. I feel strongly that if politicians spent less time thinking about annieangel’s sexual frustration and put more effort into their family life, that we would have a very different country.
One thing’s certain. The Human species liberally desires annieangel’s sexual frustration, and what’s more human than politics?
Conclusion
We can conclude that the annieangel’s sexual frustration deserves all of the attention it gets. It enlightens our daily lives, puts out ‘fires’, and it is human.
I will leave the last word to the famous Ozzy Astaire: ‘annieangel’s sexual frustration is the new rock and roll! And the new opera!’ [3]
——————————————————————————–
[1] Tygers of Pang Tang – The Cage – 1982 MCR Records
[2] Bootlegger – Take It! – 1961 Viva Books
[3] Weekly annieangel’s sexual frustration – Issue 54 – Rhino Media
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:30
we aRe living on a privileged planet
planet
privileged
inteLLigent dEsIgN
y do pandas have thumbs?
have you ever asKed god?
GOD
god??????????
click me please oh please oh please oh click me click me click me just like that
can you see the pie?
the pie is flying high and high and hIGHer
make teh PIE higher
oh fly won’t you fly for mE?
(jigga-222/54geesohthebeesknees((bradlovesannie.net))peasonapiepiepiepiepie-pie-ham-on-rye
o superman
i no longer
regnol regnol regnol pignol lognog log cabin lincoln in the white house weisshaus haushaus haus
dems in das rathaus
po.help.stop.stop.troll.stop.stop.pie.script.greasetehmonkey.google.video/ggggggg
YouTube break!
merry merry merry merry merry merry merry merry merry merry christmas!
pete and repete sittin’ on a log
log
log
gol
10:Hi
20:Bye
30:Rinse
40:Repeat
40:Repeat
40:Repeat
ad nauseum nauseum ad fnord dot dot dot dot dot dot dot
ellipses parenthesis and colons in your spleen
kleen spleen mr clean magic so tragic i die oh why
oh why.faithweb.org
life in his grace
64322kkddllii0022222222222chodemuffins2228881199900022999;;::////////
semi-colon
pie
miker said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:41
An essay on crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy
‘Brilliant’, ‘Quite Good’, ‘What?’, these are just some of the comments made recently in the press regarding crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy. In depth analysis of crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy can be an enriching experience. Given that its influence pervades our society, it is yet to receive proper recognition for laying the foundations of democracy. Since it was first compared to antidisestablishmentarianism much has been said concerning crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy by the easily lead, many of whom fail to comprehend the full scope of crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy. At the heart of the subject are a number of key factors. I plan to examine each of these factors in detail and and asses their importance.
Social Factors
Comparisons between Roman Society and Medieval Society give a clear picture of the importance of crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy to developments in social conduct. I will not insult the readers inteligence by explaining this obvious comparison any further. The immortal and indispensable phrase �honesty is the best policy� [1] shead new light on crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy, allowing man to take it by the hand and understand its momentum. A society without crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy is like a society without knowledge, in that it smells of success.
When one is faced with people of today a central theme emerges – crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy is either adored or despised, it leaves no one undecided. Society says that every man must find their own truth. While one sees crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy, another may see monkeys playing tennis.
Economic Factors
Economics has been defined as ‘I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.’ To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. We will primarily be focusing on the Inter-Spam model, making allowances for recent changes in interest rates. Transport
Costs
crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy
The results displayed in the graph are too clear to be ignored. Clearly transport costs will continue to follow crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy for the foreseeable future. Many analysts fear a subsequent depression.
Political Factors
Much of the writings of historians display the conquests of the most powerful nations over less powerful ones. Politicians find it difficult to choose between what has become known in politics as – ‘The two ways’ – pre and post war views of crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy.
Let us consider the words of that silver tongued orator, the star of stage and screen Xaviera H. Amster ‘Man’s greatest enemy is complacency with regards to personal and political hygiene.’ [2] Considered by many to be one of the ‘Founding Fathers’ of crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy, his words cannot be over-looked. History tells us that crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy will always be a vote winner, whether we like it, or not.
One thing’s certain. The Human species liberally desires crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy, and what’s more human than politics?
Conclusion
To conclude, crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy has, and will continue to be a major building block for the world in which we live. It fills a hole, invades where necessary and always chips in.
As a parting shot here are the words of super-star Britney Cruise: ‘I demand crystal meth’s battle with jesus inside shoelimpy, nothing more nothing less.’ [3]
——————————————————————————–
[1] Traditional – possibly first said by King Arthor… but probably not.
[2] Amster – The Popular Vote – 2002 Worldwide Publishing
[3] Smashing Hits – Issue 224 – Jazz Media
miker said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:43
I can only hope you all enjoy reading that as much as I enjoyed producing it. Goodnight.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:44
I almost came when I read it, miker. It was that damned worth your while randomly generating.
You sexy bastard.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:45
Whaaaaat, everybody’s going to bed?
Come on, Should I stay or shoud I go?
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:47
You should go. I’m IMing with everyone else right now, and no one will post until you leave.
I went to bat for you, but Jillian has decided. It’s not her fault, she wasn’t hugged enough as a child. Her father was distant and her mother drank. Well, that’s what I’ve heard, I don’t know if it’s true, but it could be.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:52
Frankly, Anniebotâ„¢, I don’t count you or the shlimpâ„¢ in the group, ‘everybody’.
Maybe if you stopped being a hypocrite, and joined the Army?
Please consider it.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:54
http://bloggingpoints.blogspot.com/2006/12/conscientious-objectors.html
You join, hypocrite.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 7:56
It doesn’t matter what YOU say, or who is good enough for YOU to count.
I am part of this community, and everyobody loves me more than you, that’s a fact, dumbass.
Gavin has the hots for me. I fart and he says it’s perfume, so fuck off.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:02
Ooooh, That Smell!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:20
Rolling thunder roving lightning
Every dog will howl
As the wind comes bumbling in
Death begins to growl
Timothy I’ll pray for thee
Even in the rain
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Never say die he said I said
Embers glowing red and hot
When peace is given a chance
Yo mama her mama yo mama’s mama
Osama bin Laden’s dead
Read oh read oh read
Kind of sort of bind of sort of whoah!
Time to start again my friend
Indigo and cheer
Myself my friend I want to sing
Evening’s almost here
So much more to fear
Yes there’s so much more to fear
http:/fearthismotherfuckers.sadlyno.com/gavineatyourheartout/braditshardtobeatthefartout/asp?????
Warning. WARNING. GNINRAW gninraw
raw raw war raw raw war raw raw war
executecontrolfunctionfixfunctiondeadfunction111.555.3333999928173919191lllookkkffoorrtthheeffnnoorrddss…….?????ppppp/////
http://http//bloggingpoints.blogspot.blogspot.blogspot.blogspot.blogspot.blogspot.com.com.com.com.com.com
fly away home little lady bug fly away fly away fly away FLY AWAY FLY AWAY HOME OH HOME ON THE range
deer and antelope
play?
EARTH LIBERATION FRONT.com/ELF/igotyournewsrighthere.NET
atrios sadly sadly crooks and firedoglake on a pie on a pie on a pie pandagon/orcinus/this modern worldfreeDUMB
freeDUMB
DUMBfree free free free as a free free free as a free free free as A BIRD
<FUCK> <YOU> <BUDDY>
<FUCK> <YOU> <BUDDY>
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
get ‘r dunbar caverns up your piehole
holepie
i can’t believe i ate the whole thing.yahoo.com/litemyfire
PREVIEW?????????????????????????????????????????????
preview this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cheery beery fleery timothy leary mrs. beazly poor little kitty
barney in the sky with diamonds
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:23
Holy Caliphite! Billmon is back!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:43
Billmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDLÝ, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
bob
what about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on ham
ham
ham
radiO
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:43
Billmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDLÝ, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
bob
what about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on ham
ham
ham
radiO
radiOOOOOOOOO
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:44
Billmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDLÝ, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
COW-BOY
bob
what about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on ham
ham
ham
radiO
radiOOOOOOOOO
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:45
my oh my oh my oh myBillmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDLÝ, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
COW-BOY
bob
what about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on ham
ham
ham
radiO
radiOOOOOOOOO
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:46
my oh my oh my oh myBillmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDLÝ, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
COW-BOY
bob
what about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on ham
ham
ham
radiOOOOOOOOO
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:47
Who is Billmon?
mon? mon?
mdhatter said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:48
Who gave annie/Shoe the coffee?
now look what you’ve done
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:50
my oh my oh my oh myBillmon is back
Jack. Black. http://www.www.www.www.www.www.www.org/pie/pi/killtehkkk
view.source.hellomyhoneyhellomybabyhelloyomamasass(source header-beader-lololololololocaust/beep-beepdotoareggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg)
where DOES teh ReD fErN grow?????////////
gavin = Ø
SÂDL�, NÕ
http://www.previewbuttonsareforloosers.commie.org/www.net
IINNVVUU44UURRAAQQTTππ556688992211000000000000000000
i like π
Ï€
Ï€
3.14159265358979323846
123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839
forty mo borty banana fanna mo gordy
bob
COW-BOY
bobwhat about bob?
carols for christmas a carol for christmas charles dickens
ted bed mo fed banana nanna mo ked me my mo jed
alice doesn’t live here any more
more
more
more………..
waRNing wARninG WARNING WARNING WARNING
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more lucifers on his way stop him oh stop him oh stop him now oh now gotta go gotta go gotta go
whatever happened to whatever happened to
ham on rye and rye on hamhamhamradiOOOOOOOOO
mdhatter said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:50
Second thought, three on none seems better odds.
g’nite.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 20, 2006 at 8:58
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:00
I love zombo.com.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:01
Don’t know much about the French I took…
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:03
Mhatter is stalking me.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:10
window.location=”http://www.zombo.com”;
islmfaoscist said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:13
Well my dog died just yesterday and left me all alone.
The finance company dropped by today and repossessed my home.
That’s just a drop in the bucket compared to losing you,
And I’m down to crust and crumbs again, too.
-Commander Pie and His Lost Pie Airmen
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
December 20, 2006 at 9:59
Guys, I know I don’t post nearly enough studpid shit on here, but I digress. Please, one Cochicken
Mr. Roarke's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,
December 20, 2006 at 10:36
Shoe is too stupid to annoy me, while annie is talented enough to both enrage me and make me laugh. However I must deduct points based on her association with someone who needs his choad hammered.
“These blast points are too accurate for sand people, only imperial pie is so precise.”
Anne Laurie said,
December 20, 2006 at 10:38
20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
See, this one I’ve never understood.
Dang. Somebody beat me to the Creepy Chickenhawk line, so I’m left with wondering if eating Ossifrage Pie may explain the outbursts of troll logorrhea…
Anne Laurie said,
December 20, 2006 at 11:02
Also, I love me some onion rings, but they’ve never excited me nearly as much as Malkin seems to be excited in that photo. Is it bad plastic surgery? Or is she just reminded of those other crinkly rings that she tongue-bathes so enthusiastically for her Faux News masters?
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 20, 2006 at 11:24
My interpretation of the photograph… that’s not an onion ring, but some sort of false-teeth-for-alien-mouthparts, which she is about to slip into her face before devouring the photographer in some sort of ugly surfeit-of-lampreys feeding frenzy. With lots of blood.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 11:51
Pinko insults Shoe and praises me in an attempt to flatter me and bother Shoe, not realizing that his plan is foiled by his obvious show of envy toward Shoe through his praise of me and insulting of him.
Basic pyschology, dumbass.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
December 20, 2006 at 11:56
Purple flowers by the bay
Indigo reeds blow through the trees
Nobody sees the beauty I see
Kilamjaro lit on fire
Oh what a beautiful sight
Plums and peaches and pears oh my
Under the tree, under the tree
Nobody sees the beauty I see
Kilamjaro lit on fire
Oh what a beautiful sight
Candles in the wind
Amber waves of grain
Nobody sees the beauty I see
Sugarplums roasting on an open fire
Unless I digress the tigress will die
Can you let the tigress die?
Kennedy rots in a lake of fire
Ministers and filibusterers
Young and old, we all live free, we all die free
Ancenstors lived and died upon this hallowed ground
Nobody knows them, nobody sees them
Until the day when the dead shall rise
Such a beautiful, glorious, wonderful day
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:00
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That one is the bestest. :D
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:15
Me: 2/29 Pacific Time hammered. Understandable, if a moral failing.
AA/Shoelimpy: hammered 7/30 PST. Youse are facking rummies with no self control. Already sleeping it off. I dare you to stay awake later than me, Vancouver pussies.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:16
Come on come on, I’ll moirder youse in drinking.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:17
Like, I’m smashed beyond comprehension. Unlike you social drinkers.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:18
Answer me poseurs and provocateurs! Answer me you fucking sockpuppets! I hate you not for your licentious double posting. I hate you because you can’t drinlk.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:22
I can’t overstate the hatred I have for annieangle and the hell-bound shoelimpy right now. I can still spell. I’m fuking 278 sheets to the wind I can stil spelll. But no well. But these gimlet drinkers these social afternoon party snozzlers of afternoon social wine are pathetic to me where is the closing time pleading with the barmaid for liberty on the last call? where is one on the cuff one on the house one for the road you libertine softies?
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:23
you can’t drink. you suck the big fucking 11111111 your base is full of alcohol and you ignore it you too tired too drunk too pussy fucks
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:27
off to bed with me and i’ll hit that fucking matress hard unlike ;the ultimate pussy annieangle who dropped off to a Xanax sleep like the fake that she is and the tourist that she strives to be … me it’s spinning out of control and kids and what do I tomorrow better neck a couple fucking asprin or maybe three who knows the whole bottle cos i’m up to my neck in drunk anyway so who gives a fuck bu8t you you you you are the worst the worst the worst of the lot terrible to see just unable to cope asleep after whatever crack meth you boutht, sick ass punks but i digress I apologize so what about the lovely young bar maid I met tonight she’;lll never know
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:34
fuck you annietrannie you are useless to me you docking furry ho
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:35
you let me down you broke my heart i though tyou had some thing but no, you are another uselfess trollish ho you annietfrannie fuck
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:38
12 posts to yer none. you are disappoint t6o me shoe putppet annie whatever your naeme.
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:39
dodging me onjly makes you look weak. why are you ducking a good fight? becaus e you hate jesus becaus you love hell
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:41
see you in hell then crazy provocateur … you will dwell ther for eternity me just on a toursist visa to see you squirm (i have a freqent flyer deal with our Lord in Heavan)
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:48
i had seven anchors a couple guiness and three whiskeys plus i stopped a murder and killed a bear. you? a bullet of meth and three manhattans? you disappoint me with yer weakness
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:49
no wonder we are losing the war. because of pansy ass candy babies liek you who can’t drink andpost or even settle the troubles in yer neighborhood like any upright chrstian would fo
D. Aristophanes said,
December 20, 2006 at 12:52
today while you slept i singlehandedly rescued time form the daylitght savings saboteurs and stopped three armed robberies and carried a dying pregnatnt girl to safety … I am disappinted that your have failed so deeply in the eyes of Christ our Lord while I have shined so bright
TC said,
December 20, 2006 at 16:51
DA scores this round. Hail the conquering hero!
Pinko and mikey insulted no one.
Gavin and crew laaaaauuuuughed to see such shenanigans. The shenanometer is pegged and the nanobots are broken; pork is snorkeled cream puffs all around! Malkin shrugs in defeat; after all, her brand of crazy-ass witch behavior is always fresh in the morning for her half bright readers.
The liberal snarkosphere sails on, blissfully and unperturbed by name calling and concerned trollery.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
celticgirl said,
December 20, 2006 at 17:03
What TC said –
W00t! (you can tell when a thread has gone off the rails in a trolltastic fiery crash just by looking at the number of comments – 300+, at least 200 of them of trollbot origin.)
Jesus wept.
mikey said,
December 20, 2006 at 17:41
I like Pie!
Go Fnord and Multiplex(a periphrastic poem) said,
December 20, 2006 at 17:52
I am a great writer of verse
A brain so adept is a curse
Though perhaps misapplied
So I’ll let you decide
If McGonagall’s better or worse.
N.C. said,
December 20, 2006 at 18:23
Mrs. Limpy: If it were you I loved, I would’ve said so.
I most clearly said “I love this place”, not “I love angry disembodied pairs of evangelical legs”.
N.C. said,
December 20, 2006 at 18:23
Mrs. Limpy: If it were you I loved, I would’ve said so.
I most clearly said “I love this place”, not “I love angry disembodied pairs of evangelical legs”.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 19:10
Sweet! It got nuttier after I crashed. I should have expected it.
Hugh Newtron loves pie.
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 19:46
Yo mama!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:18
If McGonagall’s better or worse.
BEAUTIFUL new web-site of the Sadly, No! people,
With your strong HTML tags and gifs like unto a steeple,
And your cheerful commenters, which seem to my eye
Strong enough all windy trolls to defy.
And as I gaze upon thee my heart is at play,
Because thou are the greatest web-site enforcing teh gay,
And can be viewed all over the world,
From North, South, East or West, by boy and by girl.
On topics of whimsy, and of great import too,
Do these boys type handsomely, points made strong and true,
For these and other traits, I venture I glean
This web-site is strong and securely built, most worthy to be seen.
Pinko Punko said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:31
You wanna piece of my heart? You’d better start from the start.
TS said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:42
Jesus tapping dancing Christ. Is there anyone He won’t save? Fuck Him — like I’d want to a part of any club that would have AA as a member…
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:50
You wanna be in the show?????
annieangel said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:52
He’ll even save YOU. Think about it, Jesus loves you. Just think.
Candy said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:58
Res ipsa loquitor.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2006 at 20:59
You wanna piece of my heart? You’d better start from the start.
I did stick girl and world in there as an homage to every band I regret liking.
McGonagall.
ironicname said,
December 20, 2006 at 22:08
Pie est bonus, tamen non pro pius
mdhatter said,
December 20, 2006 at 23:14
it’s not stalking annie. it’s avoidingtheshitoutof, g’nite.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 20, 2006 at 23:18
If we keep hanging out here, Mario G. is sure to show up. Sooner or later.
thelogos said,
December 21, 2006 at 0:13
I heard on the intertubes that if a post gets 400 comments annieangel get’s a clue.
mikey said,
December 21, 2006 at 0:17
You wanna piece of my heart? You’d better start from the start.
Yay, Pinko and the Loverboy reference. Y’know, I once rewrote that song “we just heard about Abu Ghraib” kinda thing. Gonna have to look for that – hate to start over from scratch…
mikey
annieangel said,
December 21, 2006 at 0:25
That sounds totally stupid, Mikey.
You stalk me all over the net, mhatter. I”M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU!!! I don’t even know you, go away!!!
ACG said,
December 21, 2006 at 0:25
Holy fuck. I take a weekend – not even a weekend! An evening! A day and a half! – to visit some relatives, and this is what I find when I get back.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
TC said,
December 21, 2006 at 1:16
Loverboy. Heh. They’re Canuckinoid, yanno. speaking of which:
No one’s stalking anyone here, annie.
Move on. We have.
(oh it’s a long way…..to Tipperary……)
Gentlewoman said,
December 21, 2006 at 1:26
I don’t know what happened here, and I pray that the FSM will keep the knowledge of it from me forever.
Ramen.
But if I ever, inadvertently, find out, I pray that Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles will, his infinite mercy and sense of humor, burn it from my brain.
*offers milk ‘n’ choc at Ganesh shrine*
Because you can’t be too careful.
annieangel said,
December 21, 2006 at 1:47
Mhatter IS stalking me, he knows it. I mean, who the fuck are you to say who is stalking me or not? Lots of people stalk me,. I’m POPULAR.
Irony said,
December 21, 2006 at 2:15
strike the opening comment.
my work is done.
Karl Rove II said,
December 21, 2006 at 3:03
“I’m POPULAR.”
Keep on telling yourself that dear, maybe the doctors at the mental health clinic will be able to help you…then again suicide seems a great solution for one such as yourself.
Here is a movie you could star in:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086355/
Shoelimpy can play Paul…
annieangel said,
December 21, 2006 at 3:09
If anyone should commit suicide it’s Mikey. But he’s too chicken.
BAAAWWWWWKKKKK, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!
http://missannieangel.blogspot.com/2006/12/gumbo-at-sammys.html
SUXXORS TO BE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
December 21, 2006 at 3:43
When there’s no more room under the bridges, the trolls will walk the threads…
blowback said,
December 21, 2006 at 5:45
As they always say, bad news always comes in threes just like London Buses. You remember that alleged ambulance hoax which Malkin documented here and here. Well, HRW have carried out an extensive review of the evidence and decided that it was not a hoax.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
December 21, 2006 at 6:38
Karl Rove II: kudos. In fact, Paul is already being played.
Utah Phillips said,
December 21, 2006 at 16:05
One Way, Cutie Pie”
Parokya ni Edgar, Picha Pie“
g said,
December 21, 2006 at 17:04
Jesus. I go away from just a day or two, and miss the party. I see Shoelimpy and Annie have broken into the chancellry cabinet and stolen the sacramental wine. Now they’re puking their guts out in front of the lady chapel.
skippy said,
December 23, 2006 at 22:26
1. i’m not perfect, just forgiven. i’m saved and jesus forgives me for being human. that’s why he died for me. i am nowhere near perfect, i am not jesus. but i love him and he loves me and we both hate you.
that’s gotta be like a betty bowers parody, right?
JJohnson said,
December 23, 2006 at 22:34
Malkin makes me want to vomit.
ctg said,
December 23, 2006 at 23:05
annieangel is a jewboy pretending it’s a christian woman.
typical
Kasper Kelderman said,
January 24, 2007 at 14:22
JULLIE ZIJN HOMOS!
Sadly, No! » Still Standing (Technically) said,
January 28, 2007 at 11:20
[...] And, um, ‘rumor-based reporting’? Didn’t I recently hear that John Kerry couldn’t get anyone to pass him the salt in a U.S. embassy mess hall if he was dressed like a garden snail at the bottom of a bucket? Remember that? And isn’t, like, 10/10ths of Glenn Reynolds’ output the passing-along of unconfirmed rumors? Remember the ‘green-helmet guy’? Whatever happened with that Jimmy Carter thing? Etc. [...]
PK said,
March 7, 2007 at 17:27
Thanks for very interesting article.
Giełda samochodowa said,
March 11, 2007 at 14:42
This is a very neat application. It is really interesting. Instantly useful for me.
Aukcje said,
March 25, 2007 at 22:26
Very helpful article. Can I translate this and insert on my site? Thanks!
Eckbert said,
April 1, 2007 at 23:11
to read nicely – one must have ideas!
Micky said,
May 15, 2007 at 13:42
About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.� I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
Peace Be With You
Micky
Fliesen said,
January 11, 2008 at 9:46
A great contribution with useful and interesting informations! Thanks and greetings from Thuringia in Germany!
Sadly, No! » Whoops! Goes The Malkin said,
May 22, 2008 at 7:31
[...] If only it were so. The political establishment never let Dan Quayle live down his fateful misspelling of “potatoe.” The New York Times distorted and misreported the first President Bush’s questions about new scanner technology at a grocers’ convention to brand him permanently as out of touch. [...]