29
“A Scratch? Your Arm’s Off!” “No It Isn’t.”
UPDATE: Although Gavin M. came back with a worthy response, I still feel compelled to declare victory.
You’d think right-wingers would’ve learned to stop doing that. Next he’s going to say that the results can’t be fairly judged for another six months, and when that stops working, he’s going to be all like, “Um, catastrophic sucking is actually a triumph for conservatism.”
Also, constructive criticizers, if you think I’m going to spend the time required to put together Worth 1000 level submissions, you need to put down the crackpipe/Jesus juice (depending on your political persuasion). I’m not on public assistance, in college, a graphic artist, or single–all prerequisites for that level of dedication.
I see something disappearing over the horizon, and I believe it is the goalposts.
Here’s one of those uniquely brilliant and technically demanding Worth1000 entries:
Above: every pixel spells ‘dedication’
Our challenge, Cadet Happy of IMAO, is to remix a Day By Day strip. The result must be, unlike the original strip, funny, and must unlike the original strip make sense.
The technical skills required for this challenge are quite modest, however points must be assigned for craftsmanship, attention to detail, and conceptual ambition (for instance, just changing some text or sticking in a random picture from Google Images would be teh l4m3).
Any and all Day By Day strips are fair game, but sneakily getting Chris Muir to help with an entry will result in automatic disqualification. Not least because it would violate the ‘funny’ requirement.
Update: This just in via e-:
Why don’t you two post the photoshops in the challenge anonymously? That way we can see what’s true criticism/praise and what is simple blatant sycophancy ?
Each one send the other his entry with no identifying marks and then each of you post the other’s entry without telling whose is whose so a true comparison will be forced on the readers. I would expect you to decline if you either of were only interested in seeing your side cheer for your own work.
Let me know what you think.
Sure, I’m totally down with that. Mine will be the one that isn’t clattering down the stairs in a shopping cart, on fire and trailing a plume of aerosolized sadness.
J— said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:16
And no plagiarizing Sadlynoites’ past efforts.
Bloggofascist said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:16
Nothing will ever beat your “look, they’re prehensile” remake of a day-by-day strip. Sometimes I break out laughing in middle of the day because that thought has snuck up on me, which is bad because I’m a funeral director.
Bloggofascist said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:17
Actually I’m not, but it was funnier that way.
J— said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:19
Sorry, that was meant as a proposed addition to the rules Gavin set out for IMAO.
mikey said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:24
Gavin, I think Muir has been taking your work to heart. That babe with the back condition is closer and closer to nekkid all the time. I mean, she’s always kinda slutted up, probably ’cause she’s a lib, but the one you link to here is objectively softcore porn. Next thing y’know, Ace will add some sucky flames. I think it’s fascinating how your influence extends far beyond any attribution. You’ve created a condition where you’ll be famous all over the t00bz, but you’ll never get a dime…
mikey
Mr. Roarke's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:40
I think we all know who REALLY won the contest.
mdhatter said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:47
If he wanted to win this challenge, all he’d have to do is fix the characters’ knees and elbows to make them appear anatomically possible
Kathleen said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:51
Any else here think Gavin should photoshop a “Mission Accomplished” banner onto IMAO’s logo?
Cadet Happy said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:52
no No NO! YOU do one first, then I try to better the theme — I don’t think I have ever seen the strip before — I’ll find it, then try to think of something in the next day or so — as a rule I do not read conservative humor sites — I certainly don’t read comic strips
the worth 1000 entry would be nice–if I could conceive of a 4th dimension to explain that duffle bag ; )
Indy said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:56
he should just draw dirty cartoon sex. it’s what he’s good at…
Cadet Happy said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:00
Kathleen, that is an excellent idea — you’ve given me my idea the third challenge
Handsome said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:18
Okay, I know the gauntlet wasn’t thrown at ME, but I did my own little Day By Day re-working anyway, cuz I’m bored. You can find it at my http://www.abehm.blogspot.com. Feel free to heap derision. On whatever you find there, for that matter. ;)
Frank J. said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:23
You guys really aren’t going to enjoy the long occupation after this is done with… especially when Sadly, No! get flooded with trolls from other blogs to work as insurgents.
Handsome said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:26
Uh… no, make that just http://abhem.blogspot.com
The other link just won’t work.
Handsome said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:27
Okay, I’m just going to beat my head against the wall until I fall over unconscious. http://abehm.blogspot.com
Damn, I wish you guys would let me delete my wrong/retarded comments.
TC said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:38
No, Sadly, No! is all about preserving the stupid things we say for everyone to make fun of….forever.
mikey said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:46
It’s why I strongly recomend posting drunk and angry…
mikey
Kathleen said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:47
that wasn’t bad, handsome. The first line made me giggle.
Gavin M. said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:50
Damn, I wish you guys would let me delete my wrong/retarded comments.
Well, if you’re serious, I can go into Wordpress and do that. The last link works fine, though.
Handsome said,
November 29, 2006 at 21:54
Yeah, I know, but look how lame I clearly am up UNTIL the last link.
I mean, I know I suck, but do you guys have to know?
Or if you have to know, you could at least be forced to read my blog to know, right?
Although you wouldn’t leave comments.
So it doesn’t matter.
I work in a call center! God, someone help me!
Gavin M. said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:02
Although you wouldn’t leave comments.
Um, but I don’t have a current Blogger account, so the comment-thingo screens me out…
Spokane Moderate said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:14
as a rule I do not read conservative humor sites
Nobody does.
Seanly said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:17
Mine will be the one that isn’t clattering down the stairs in a shopping cart, on fire and trailing a plume of aerosolized sadness.
Most bestest quote evah.
Plus I hate when that happens to me. The clattering down stairs in a shopping cart while on fire part. The plume of aerosolized sadness is a feature, not a bug. Helps me find my way back hone…
mikey said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:24
While sadness can become aerosolized naturally, under the right conditions, back in the lab in the cave behinde the retracting road-barrier we are working diligently on weaponized sadness. We figure that once we a fine, durable, consistent powder of emotional pain and misery, we’ll be able to, well, if not rule the world, at least make great movies…
mikey
Handsome said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:37
Gavin,
Sorry. On my geek blog I moderate all comments, as I have a bad case of trollitis everywhere I go (it’s a long story, but I suppose I deserve it) and my few regular commenters over there don’t like THAT, so I tried something different on the poli blog. And now I’m caught in THAT trap. So I don’t know. I don’t KNOW! But you can register with blogger pretty easy, if you wanna. Otherwise, I just apologize, and will continue banging my head on the wall. And, thanks for trying.
norbizness said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:48
Oh boy, Day by Day strips. I nominate myself, with either My Purse Talks, Free Scoliosis Exams, Jawa at a Thrift Store, Masturbating Cartoonist, Day by Day Premium Membership, or Cargo Pants. Velveteen dice-pouch, Thou Art Mine!
Some Guy said,
November 29, 2006 at 22:56
Hmmm. He is aware that there is no “left” in the universe?
Hehe. Day by Day. It’s gold, Jerry! It’s gold!
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:39
Are you jealous of everyone who has a book out or is about to get one out and you still don’t have one?
Matt Weiner said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:41
each of you post the other’s entry without telling whose is whose
Um, then your entry would be the one posted at IMAO, and their entry would be the one posted here. Am I missing something? Am I going to have to build up an immunity to iocaine here?
Kathleen said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:42
each site will post both Matt.
Kathleen said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:47
Norbiz, Cargo Pants cannot be beaten for sheer brilliance. I am still laughing at “you call those things trees!”
Gavin M. said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:52
Are you jealous of everyone who has a book out or is about to get one out and you still don’t have one?
Aren’t you guys supposed to be bothering Julia today? This joint custody deal isn’t working out as well as it ought to.
Anne Laurie said,
November 29, 2006 at 23:56
Mikey, if the Wingtards haven’t succeeded in weaponizing aerosolized sadness, how come I get so depressed whenever one of their so-called “think pieces” goes wafting past my purview?
That’s why I believe in pre-emptive attacks upon any Wingtards who invade my S,N! space — I don’t negotiate with blog-terrorists. (/snark)
Frank J. said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:00
each site will post both Matt.
Whoa! I didn’t agree to that. I have bandwidth concerns.
Marked Hoosier said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:13
Well if you are going to play with IMAO, can we get some website people to work on their site? It loads S.L.O.W. even on broadband. It could be on purpose, I suppose, because I had to watch that silly ad for their book for five minutes while the rest of the page loaded… but with what little content they offer it is just a waste of time.
Anyone volunteer?
Kathleen said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:16
Frank J. said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:00
Whoa! I didn’t agree to that. I have bandwidth concerns.
it will tax your bandwith to post two Day by Day cartoons? Whaaa?
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:18
I’ve never been to that board, never heard of that board, don’t know what you’re talking about, Gavin. I think Annie might be right, you’re drunk.
Duros62 said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:19
Norbiz, Cargo Pants cannot be beaten for sheer brilliance. I am still laughing at “you call those things trees!�
“Can’t talk. Eating puppies.”
OMG, that is funny! That’s one of those “stays with you for days” laughs.
TC said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:36
Steel Reserve, Shoe. Beer bong ‘em, two cans per minute.
Makes the afternoon go by a whole lot easier…
Gavin M. said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:38
I’ve never been to that board, never heard of that board, don’t know what you’re talking about, Gavin. I think Annie might be right, you’re drunk.
Drunk on the beauty of America!
Left_wing_fox said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:48
Drunk on the beauty of America!
And scotch. Don’t forget the scotch.
Shoelimpyâ„¢ said,
November 30, 2006 at 0:58
This American beauty?
Robert Green said,
November 30, 2006 at 1:01
my wife does this for a living. and it is possible to make a lot of money photoshopping, or retouching photographer’s work. it’s horrifying to see from the inside what the difference is between the photographer’s initial image (already one that has hours of make up wardrobe and top quality lighting on the subject) and what the client will demand in photoshop. i’ve heard a couple of times of famous people who won’t look at photos of themselves until they’ve been retouched. i wonder what they do with mirrors…
anyway, conservatives aren’t funny. not even slightly. mordant humor at best. on their good days. right wing comics are bad. right wing comic strips are lame. right wing satire is non-existent. why is that? seriously, why is all comedy liberal? is it something to do with court jesters and truth to power and all that?
examples of the photospherry here http://www.manipulator.com that’s what the real stuff looks like.
Pinko Punko said,
November 30, 2006 at 1:15
Okay, Frank J, we’ll post both entries here.
J— said,
November 30, 2006 at 1:39
Side by side? If so, which image goes on the left and which on the right? One above the other? In separate posts?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:03
Nah, J, they’ll just post one right over the other and let the judges sort ‘em out. This is silly. How on earth could posting both screw up Frank’s bandwidth? Whatever.
Anyway, I actually had to work all day and missed most of the fun here, which sucks. No, no time to ’splain. To sum up:
Cadet Happy: very cool that you’re playing along (seriously — no snark — go figure)
Gavin: I’m a little bummed that we didn’t get a riff on the Flying Wallendas for the Flying Imams, but I should have just done that myself if I wanted to see it, right?
Handsome: Relax. It’s OK to post two wrong links before getting it right. You’re among friends. And besides, it was worth it. Funny.
Frank J: You think we don’t have trolls now? WTF?
mikey: Drunk and whimsical works better for me, in general, but your way’s good too.
Seanly: Yes, aerosolized sadness is perfect — and I suspect someone sprayed some up Tbogg’s ass yesterday.
Norbiz: sheer brilliance across the board. Bravo.
Shoelimpy: I will never forgive you for that link. Never.
Jillian/kathleen/gentlewoman/anne laurie (one of you, can’t be arsed to go back and find it now): How right you were that Maliki wouldn’t show up for the Dubya summit. “Postponed”? Yeah. Big surprise.
There. All caught up.
Pledge Master J— of the SN! Frat said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:10
I like it. Smiliing Mortician’s evening wrap up of the day’s doings.
Gotta run. I have to get the keg for tonight’s big lefto luau here at the Sadly, No! frathouse.
Ain’t nothing but a party, y’all.
Gavin M. said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:13
I’m a little bummed that we didn’t get a riff on the Flying Wallendas for the Flying Imams
Dude, you’re psychic. I tried and got impatient.
Sophist said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:20
Cadet Happy said: …as a rule I do not read conservative humor sites…
Well, yeah. I bet you don’t eat much Unicorn either.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:20
Save it for later. It’s bound to come up.
RobW said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:49
No, Sadly, No! is all about preserving the stupid things we say for everyone to make fun of….forever.
Tell me about it. I’ll never endure the shame of having praised Orson Scott Card’s early writing style.
Whoa! I didn’t agree to that. I have bandwidth concerns.
With all those adverts, I’m surprised you have room for your own text.
You guys really aren’t going to enjoy the long occupation after this is done with… especially when Sadly, No! get flooded with trolls from other blogs to work as insurgents.
Wait… if we get invaded by you, wouldn’t that make US the insurgents?
the worth 1000 entry would be nice–if I could conceive of a 4th dimension to explain that duffle bag ; )
Duffle bag? Is that what it is? I thought it was a sock puppet.
Kathleen said,
November 30, 2006 at 2:53
SM - can you recap the day at Sadly No! every evening? That would be really helpful.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 30, 2006 at 3:06
Kathleen, you have absolutely no idea how much I’d enjoy that. Who, me? OCD? No, not really . . . why do you ask?
Jillian said,
November 30, 2006 at 3:21
Wait… if we get invaded by you, wouldn’t that make US the insurgents?
I used to offer people who used the word “insurgent” around me a shiny new quarter if they could give me a definition of it.
Let’s just say I was never short on pinball money.
I’m not surprised that someone who works on a conservative humor blog would end up getting it completely backward.
G’nite, all.
mikey said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:14
Mort, you could do better than that. You could start a blog commenting on the comments at Sadly, No. After a couple weeks, we’d all end up over at your place dropping pizza on the carpet…
mikey
Matt Weiner said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:17
Hey, can someone link the “look, they’re prehensile” strip?
J— said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:35
Here you go, Matt.
mikey said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:35
Hey Matt. I wanted to show that us old doods can skool y’all on the ‘t00bz. Here ya go:
http://sadlyno.com/archives/3808.html
Enjoy the goodness that is Gavin….
mikey
J— said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:40
Mikey: Jinx. Buy me a Coke.
mikey said,
November 30, 2006 at 4:59
Ok, you win. Here’s a hundred dollars. What? Oh!! That kind of coke. Ok, here’s a buck….
mikey
Kathleen said,
November 30, 2006 at 5:06
man I enjoyed rereading the comment thread from the “prehensile” strip. And, yes, I DO have a shitload of work I am avoiding, why do you ask?
TC said,
November 30, 2006 at 5:19
Don’tsweat it Kathleen.
You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve blown off today…
But until some clinets come through with some frickin’ checks, well, hey, mocking wingnuts takes precedence over their little projects
Smiling Mortician said,
November 30, 2006 at 5:32
Jeez, mikey, that’d be just a little . . . meta . . . don’t you think? Not that I wouldn’t love the pizza droppings and the tossing of beers into upraised hands across the coffee table.
Hm.
Lemme think about it.
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 30, 2006 at 7:38
Chris Muir is possibly the most humor deficient man in history.
But at least he draws a nice ass, (or someone for him does) and not a stupid f’iin duck that doesn’t know his feathers from his incredibly maladjusted view of the world.
This is what you get when I post at 12:36 in the AM.
Goodnight, everybody. Try the veal, and tip your waitress generously.
Gregor Samsa said,
November 30, 2006 at 8:39
All this photoshop talk reminds me of a little agreement between 3Bulls! and a certain member of the Sadly, No! team. I think that Sadly,No!-ite in question name begins with ‘G’ ends in ‘M’ and has an ‘avin’ in the middle but I might be mistaken. A wingnut version of a certain Beatles album…..and don’t try to claim it was Abbey Road because it wasn’t….although Osama et al would look rather grand crossing that street.
Pinko Punko said,
November 30, 2006 at 9:03
Well, yeah. I bet you don’t eat much Unicorn either.
COMMENT OF THE DAY!
I think Gregor is on to something.
gjdodger said,
November 30, 2006 at 16:39
I just had to post this somewhere. The latest Random Act of Absurd E-Mail Text is a real classic. It sounds like a Depraved Desiderata:
Blow with all your might into the bean stuffed straw.
Pour milk over peas, mix with applesauce. Grind the rest into the carpet.
Those who are seriously concerned with blogging, cannot imagine their work without using this wonderful tool with elegant interface.
This might not sound like a great feature, but if you subscriber to a hideously large number of feeds, it cuts down on the data.
Verizon customers will be able to view select video content, as well as post videos from their mobile phones.
Why Around the country, police officers and bystanders who see someone having a seizure mistake it for disorderly, criminal behavior.
Verizon customers will be able to view select video content, as well as post videos from their mobile phones. Bush’s twin daughters to leave the country after a widely publicized purse-snatching incident.
Why Around the country, police officers and bystanders who see someone having a seizure mistake it for disorderly, criminal behavior.
Which means it works with a wide variety of blogging platforms. Wipe excess sauce onto your pants.
Korea is nuclear blackmailer, says U. But the one-piece triggered a furious row about stick-thin models when her rival finalist Marianne Berglund appeared painfully underweight in the same attire.
Follow the program in this book and watch as your body burns fat, your tone, balance and flexibility improve, and you get a grip like a stone mason. Great explanation and a great diagram to accompany it.
All your baby fat was gone, your skin was smooth, and your head was full of shiny hair and gum.
Follow the program in this book and watch as your body burns fat, your tone, balance and flexibility improve, and you get a grip like a stone mason.
This isn’t as bad an idea as it sounds.
Using a spoon with a rubber handle, eat half the cereal, and dribble the rest of it onto your shirt. Stress makes us vulnerable to disease, kills our creative spirit, and gives us a sour look on our faces.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic said,
November 30, 2006 at 17:05
how come I get so depressed whenever one of their so-called “think pieces� goes wafting past my purview?
That is sadness in its’ unrefined state.
“A Scratch? Your Arm’s Off!” “No It Isn’t.” :: Newstack said,
December 3, 2006 at 1:10
[...] Read more: here [...]
Sadly, No! » Somebody’s Day By Day Remix Entry said,
December 3, 2006 at 20:30
[...] Here abideth ye contest rules. [...]
Matt Weiner said,
December 5, 2006 at 1:42
Thanks Mikey and J—–! I clicked through to the Day By Day strip to try and figure out what was going on in the original strip, which was unwise, but now I can grade my epistemology papers with new appreciation for my students’ coherence.