Nov
28
28
Conservative Humor On A Rampage!11
Say, also, if Dan Riehl is out there fusting and flummoxing like usual, with a halo of broken crockery orbiting his head, can he please do another comical Photoshop soon? Yay, thanks!
Above: This is actually one of his better efforts
PS: Here’s some fun: We hereby challenge the entire right-blogosphere to a Photoshop duel. Chicken, bawk-bawk!
TC said,
November 28, 2006 at 18:44
That NEVER gets old. A classick.
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 18:46
Well, he is fat.
scarshapedstar said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:05
Roflolmaomfg!
Smiling Mortician said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:12
OK, but Frank J. can’t spell “Michael.” To paraphrase the Churchill story:
Frank: Michale, yer fatt!
Michael: Yes, but you’re stupid, and I could always go on a diet.
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:16
Come on. You know that last part is a lie.
Gavin M. said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:26
Come on. You know that last part is a lie.
Photoshop duel. Chicky-chicky-chicken.
Marita said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:36
Ugh. That photoshop is so weak, it makes Jesus cry.
C’mon Frank J., you know you want to take up the challenge. It’s only photoshop, right? I’m sure you can do it. And even if you can’t, you clearly aren’t afraid of looking like an idiot. You can’t lose!
tb said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:36
Gob: Cawk-a-cawk-a-cawk-a-caw!
Buster: Chickens don’t clap!
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:36
Frank J., as long as you’re answering questions, could you tell us why there are so many gun and war loving wingnuts who don’t want to fight in their war with guns (rather than with keyboards, or cafe press)?
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:38
But I’m supposed to be working right now! Cadet Happy is the IMAO photoshopping guy, anyway, but he’s a busy lawyer and if I said to him, “Hey, Sadly, No! challenged us to a photoshopping duel, so get to work!” he’d be like, “Who is Sadly, No!?” and I’d be like, “Some liberal site; I think they get decent traffic or something. So get to the photoshops, beardo!” and he’d be like, “I shaved my beard.” and I’d be like, “Well, how am I supposed to know that? I never see you in person.”
So I have to decline the duel. Want to have a “Who Can Buy the Most Copies of Frank J.’s Book” contest?
Marita said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:49
But I’m supposed to be working right now!
Wow, what a total lack of dedication to the cause. I’m totally supposed to be writing my thesis right now, and yet I’m making the time to comment here to taunt you.
Where is your commitment?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:55
Frank J: Bawk! Bawk-bawk-bawk-b-gawk!
That’s for dodging ITTDGY’s question, primarily, but also . . .
Photoshop duel! Stop hiding behind your beard.
random_guy said,
November 28, 2006 at 19:55
Aawww, no duel? That’s no fun.
random_guy said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:01
(PS that ‘Frank J’s book’ line was actually pretty good)
Gavin M. said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:07
So I have to decline the duel. Want to have a “Who Can Buy the Most Copies of Frank J.’s Book� contest?
If IMAO wins the Photoshop duel, Sadly, No! will ceremonially buy a copy of Frank J.’s book.
WOOOOOO!!!!!!!
RobW said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:10
Buster: Chickens don’t clap!
Charlie don’t surf!
Frank J., as long as you’re answering questions, wtf are we doing in Iraq?
neil said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:12
The link doesn’t even work. IMAO is so chicken that he took his whole site down rather than duel!
Kathleen said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:17
C’mon you guys, that IMAO post was just a brilliant parody of consumer humor. No one would really think he was funny just for *literally* writing Michael Moore is fat over and over again. note I am quoting here, and this is all from this one post:
“Michale Moore Wants to …Eat a Hundred Tacos in One Sitting”
“maybe he got wedged in his computer chair”
“Stop trying to think with the fat in your head, fatty fat fat.”
“You are so fat!”
“They should hide behind you because you would provide plenty of cover.”
“And you’re fat.”
“That’s not just fat talking.”
“It also helps not to have fat bastards trying to undermine you and get you killed.”
“True, but [McCain's] not fat.”
“you pinko fat bastards.”
“As fat as you are”
“The crazy made its way out through all the fat folds!”
“Good job there, fatty.”
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:20
If it will sell a copy of my book, I’ll see if Cadet Happy is game. He needs to do more photoshops anyway.
random_guy said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:24
How will we adjudicate this duel?
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:24
Kathleen,
You left out “As fat as you are, you’re still not a ‘we.’” That was my favorite.
Otto Man said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:26
Well, I’m now convinced that Michael Moore is fat.
And they said the conservative movement had run out of ideas! Stupid liberal media.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:32
Frank J, I have to admit I like the motorcycle attack on the French ambassador’s limo. OK, I’ll commit to buying a copy if you win the photoshop contest.
Gavin M. said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:38
You left out “As fat as you are, you’re still not a ‘we.’� That was my favorite.
Yeah, ok. That was actually pretty good.
J— said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:40
And if Sadly, No! wins the duel, what will IMAO ceremonially buy?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:41
random_guy, I think we go with whoever declares victory most convincingly. Of course that puts Gavin at a distinct advantage, given that the Right is laboring under the very heavy weight of
Michael Mooreboy-who-cried-wolf syndrome when it comes to claiming victory.Monkey Faced Liberal said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:43
FrankJ:
You will do anything to sell enough books so that you can get enough money to buy yourself a cool new samurai sword set for Christmas. (http://www.karatedepot.com/sw-sa-06.html) won’t you?
You are even willing to spend your time commenting a site Sadly Now — a site that is actually funny sometimes, unlike your site. After all, shouldn’t you be busy working on your latest science-fiction masterpiece?
In any case, I think commenting on Sadly Now will not help you succeed in your mission to build your “cool” weapons arsenal, for the following reasons.
1) Your comment reinforces the fact that you can’t write anything funny, making people less likely to believe that your book will be funny.
2) I don’t think Sadly Now’s audience is particularly interested in reading a deluded wingnut hack’s jokes glorifying W’s invasion of Iraq.
If you want to find people who still think the Iraq war was an awesome idea, that the only problem there is that we haven’t killed enough of the “bad guys”, and who think Michael Moore fat jokes are funny, try Ace of Spade’s web site, Confederate Yankee, or here http://www.psychforums.com/viewforum.php?f=146&sid=cd24fa341c2fb0759fc8aebac71b4833.
3) Those of us familiar with IMAO know that this is really all about the fact that you are jealous that Sadly No has a much bigger Wikipedia entry than IMAO, which does not even have its own separate Wikipedia entry. Wikipedia envy is really sad.
In conclusion, if you are looking to drive up sales numbers for your book by commenting here, I think you are deluding yourself.
Oh yeah. I forgot. That is what you do! You delude yourself. Keep on commenting!
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
P.S. Make sure that you give my best to your self-described “paranoid profiling nutjob.”
P.S.S. I was wrong. There are some funny things on your site. For instance, your 9-11 anniversary piece http://www.imao.us/archives/006180.html is hilarious!
It cracked me up that someone could write something so self-indulgent, simplistic, and ignorant and yet think they were being “deep” and “introspective”. All Sadly No readers — check it out! It will bring a smile to your day.
J— said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:44
How will we adjudicate this duel?
How about a neutral arbiter agreeable to both parties?
ben said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:52
J-
Who do you suggest? I think a panel might work…We could ask the Puppy Blender or Jonah Goldberg, and then some people from the mid-left and the far-left, and put links to a poll from a bunch of sites across the blogosphere, so that everyone could be involved.
Though I do think that declaring victory most convincingly should be taken into consideration.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:54
I’m at a loss, J. Who is this neutral arbiter you envision? It’s not http://www.utah.edu/unews/news_images_2005/mar/baker.jpg” rel=”nofollow”> this guy, is it?
Bubba said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:56
Brad, Gavin, et al., I’ll stand by what I wrote a couple of weeks ago- Sadly, No and IMAO are parallel universes of each other. You guys should really pony up against each other with some frequency. For example, have a post v. post debate on something like immigration or Iraq or Clinton or Bush. It’d be like Chomsky vs. Buckley or Lincoln vs. Douglas or Godzilla vs. Mothra. I’m not sure anyone else is running that kind of blog dialog (diablog?) so you might be pioneering something here. Frank J. seems like a stand-up guy (for a gun-loving conservative fuck), so I’m sure he (and his other site cronies) would be up for the challenge.
Benefits:
1) Actually engaging in debate rather than ripping on a Michael Moore/Kaye Grogan letter might sharpen you both
2) Increased site traffic from both sides
3) Might get some new readers
It might even become a bit of a competition. The rules could be worked out- say, one post from each side with two follow-up retorts (and here’s where the reader comments could help, making it an interactive debate)- with winners declared by a neutral third party.
Man, I’m liking this idea more and more. Maybe I should market it instead of clicking on Submit Comment… Nah.
Bubba said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:57
Arbiters might come from this site: http://www.factcheck.org/
Seems like a pretty balanced site, on the whole.
J— said,
November 28, 2006 at 20:59
Judge Wapner!
Frank J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 21:03
The book portrays Bush as really dumb and the rest of the administration as mindless warmongers. Everyone should find it funny and love it! Go check it out and buy it now!
Gavin M. said,
November 28, 2006 at 21:05
I’ll stand by what I wrote a couple of weeks ago- Sadly, No and IMAO are parallel universes of each other. You guys should really pony up against each other with some frequency.
Photoshnizzle. Upduke-’t-y’all. Uppy McJunction, Frank.
RobW said,
November 28, 2006 at 21:12
How about a neutral arbiter agreeable to both parties?
Spoken like a true appease-o-crat. I say they should have at it until both sites are smoking rubble burying the bodies of all their civilians. It’s the only thing they/we understand.
ImJohnGalt said,
November 28, 2006 at 21:33
I will say this – I sat in during the Toronto International Film Festival on Michael Moore’s showing of a few scenes for his new movie ‘Sicko’. It’s the first time he’s ever show parts of a film before it was completed.
He looked great – he had actually lost 30 pounds (which still left him several trillion pounds overweight), but he called attention to it during his talk. He felt like it was just too hypocritical for him to do a movie about the US Health Care System and to be a big tub of Crisco. He also made a promise to his wife.
Just sayin’, is all. You might not have Michael Moore’s fat to push around much longer (and neither will he).
Sadly, No! » Oh, No Way… said,
November 28, 2006 at 21:59
[...] How about that Photoshop Duel, IMAO? [...]
Toby Scott said,
November 28, 2006 at 22:23
Hey Frank J., let me know if and when you ever write a book that doesn’t suck balls, ‘k? Because the one you’re hawking now assuredlydoessuck balls.
I don’t like to buy books that suck balls.
K T Cat said,
November 28, 2006 at 22:24
I vote for Frank’s entry! It was the bestest!
Oops! The contest hasn’t started yet? Dang! How come no one ever tells me when to start stuffing the ballot box?
Reality said,
November 28, 2006 at 22:33
From Frank’s article
“Do you stay awake at night worry that your children will still have to be dealing with terrorists? I know I worry about my theoretical future children.”
I worry about Frank’s theoretical future children too. I weep for them in the same way I weep for Atlas Juggs’ children.
TC said,
November 28, 2006 at 23:01
I think Frank’s children are doomed to remain theoretical, just like his sex life.
P.J. said,
November 28, 2006 at 23:27
You lefty peons should just be happy that the great Frank J. is sending a little wingnut traffic to your moonbat site by linking you to pimp his hilarious new book. TC is obviously not familiar with the Lovely & Talented Sarah K. (aka, Mrs. Frank J.) when commenting on his own projected “theoretical sex life”.
ben said,
November 28, 2006 at 23:41
I’ve got another potential judge for the photoshopping: Mr. Sun, of mrsun.us. He’s an equal opportunity mocker, and who better to judge between mere mortals than the one who watches us all? Go check out his site, and see what you think.
I’m also like this dueling posts idea; I’d volunteer myself, but I am just one man, and I’ve only got so much time in the day, you know?
In other news, I like this site and most of it’s commentors. That hasn’t happened with a blog full of misguided fools at all yet. So, I think I’ll stick around and see what you guys are up to in the future. Maybe I’ll even get to enlighten you all a bit.
spacemonkey said,
November 28, 2006 at 23:49
“I don’t like to buy books that suck balls.”
Toby Scott, is it because the book would have nothing to do while in your presence?
TC said,
November 28, 2006 at 23:56
TC is obviously not familiar with the Lovely & Talented Sarah K. (aka, Mrs. Frank J.) when commenting on his own projected “theoretical sex life�. Guilty as charged. However:
Wife.
No children.
Still theoretical, in the sense of ‘yet unproven’
And you pilfered the L&T from tbogg. go put it back before we have to send Chuck Norris round
Smiling Mortician said,
November 29, 2006 at 0:06
This is fast becoming like the attic scene in The Big Chill. Gavin just had to open up the skylight and let the flying rodents in.
Jacob the Syrian Hamster said,
November 29, 2006 at 0:22
We don’t fly, but thanks for the complement. Energetic scurrying just looks like that.
g said,
November 29, 2006 at 9:25
Oh, I think I get it now. These are the winged monkeys sent here by the wicked witch! You remember, that scene where she flings her broom in the air and yells “Fly! Fly!”
Is that who all these assholes are?
sorry, I haven’t been paying much attention tonight. I’ve been too busy checking out the paparazzi shots of Britney’s cooter.
P.J. said,
November 29, 2006 at 20:26
TC,
I’m not sure who tbogg is, but regular readers of IMAO know that Frank steals everything from Instapundit, minus the puppy-blending and hobo-killing that Glenn Reynolds is famous for.