14
Tea? Bonbon? Maybe A Backrub?
From one of Jeff Goldstein’s several identical Donald-Duck-nephews at Protein Wisdom:
Monday, November 13, 2006
Give Democrats Credit: They Know How to PoliticThe Republicans just can’t find the gumption to be disliked. The Democrats thrive on hate. It is their fuel and their fire. So the Republicans can continue acting as they always have–as the kick-me party, playing second fiddle to ruthless, ethics-challenged, but winning and leadership wielding opponents…
Every time you guys throw one of your tantrums, we’ll just fix Ace’s logo more.
Above: Now it’s looking sweet
Update:
Apropos the suspected fake-anthrax terrorist who claims to ‘worship’ Michelle Malkin, Rick Moran of Right Wing Nut House runs after the train of irony with his suitcase flapping open, then jumps up and down yelling at his strewn socks and underwear:
“Where’s Malkin?” asks that guardian of truth and righteousness Dave Neiwart [sic]?
Malkin — who is quick to [blame] random acts of violence on a jihadist terror conspiracy within our borders, but never seems to worry about actual acts of domestic terrorism — has so far ignored Mr. Castagana at her site.
Malkin, the guys at Powerline, even Ed Morrissey should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. Not jumping on this story IMMEDIATELY — and by “immediately” I mean they should have been on this story like white on rice (oops! my bad!) at a minimum of 1/4 hour after this story hit the internet — only highlights their TOTAL and UTTER hypocrisy when it comes to terrorists. So what if they guy is LOONIER THAN A JUNE BUG? He’s a conservative, iddn’t he? He loves Malkin, doddn’t he? That’s enough for me.
Who knows — given all the “connections” the left is finding to conservatives on this guy, maybe even it will come out that he’s Ann Coulter’s secret boyfriend. Or Malkin’s pen pal. Or Hitler’s long lost son. Anything is possible.
Neiwart [sic] is a stitch. Here he uses one of his favorite “literary” devices — self righteously eschewing blanket condemnation of his subject and in the breathtaking space of a few words, going ahead and issuing the sweeping generalization anyway: [...]
Above: Maybe a monocle and biker helmet next
Steve T. said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:27
Oh, this is rich. Republicans — Republicans!! — are saying they lost because they’re just too nice. They’re just too tenderhearted to grit their teeth and give as good as they get when those Democrat [sic] bullies barge in and start shoving them around.
Which is worse? That they think they convince people that this is true? Or that they think it actually is?
J— said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:40
Welcome to Leftist Eye for the Wingnut Site!
That “Give Democrats Credit” post is by Dr. Melissa, no? Perhaps when you’ve finished remodeling Ace’s place, you could help out with hers.
Gavin M. said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:47
Oh yeah. Instead of that bumblebee in a flower, there should definitely be, like, a screaming American eagle with a tear in its eye.
Marita said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:48
Oh, gawd, J,, why did you have to link to that? She’s got Atlas, Patterico, and Stop the ACLU listed in a blogroll under the heading The Smart Ones. What the hell is she supposed to be a Dr. of, anyway?
Lesley said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:50
The right is well and truly crazy. (I can see Ann Coulter supporting an anthrax send after all the hate she’s blathered over the years. Only she’d be pissed it wasn’t really anthrax.)
Marsupial said,
November 14, 2006 at 18:59
As Dr. Cox would say, “Are you a real doctor, or are you a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor?”
tbogg said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:06
Oh crap. We don’t have to start reading Protein Wisdom again, do we? Hard to believe that it got worse after Jeff took that job down at the carwash.
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:07
Here’s commenter monkeyboy on that Protein Wisdom thread:
Before 1994, the Republicans actually made sense.
That would be a happy place to return to…
Yay, monkeyboy! You got your wish!
fabbo said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:10
Whoops! Stepped into a parallel universe again. I’m always doing that nowadays.
tb said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:25
Waitaminit, Jeff got a job? I had assumed that he was too heavily medicated to maintain even his standard of coherence, and wisely went on hiatus. Anyone know what’s up?
mikey said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:30
I just don’t know what to say. They’ve got bush and cheney. We had clinton and gore. They have rove. We have dean. They have wars. We had sex. They have the energy bill, the bankruptcy bill and the detainee act. We have universal health care, actual funding for education and, oh yeah, habeus corpus. It has been apparent for some time that these idiots are objectively delusional, but this alternate view of reality is really starting to get in the way of anything close to critical thinking. They need an intervention or something.
In the meantime, what do I gotta do to get a logo from you, Gavin?
mikey
RSA said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:42
The Republicans just can’t find the gumption to be disliked.
Republican politicians have waiting rooms overflowing with flowers and gift boxes from gays, blacks, Latinos, feminists, Moslems, . . . the list goes on and on.
Drew Johnston said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:44
Wow. I think with this latest post, the definition of chutzpah can and should be changed from “Parent-killer argues for leniency on the grounds that he’s an orphan” to “Poster at Protein Wisdom claims Republicans are too nice.”
LawstSoul said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:48
What’s a wingnut’s favorite whine?
BlackBloc said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:50
What unaccredited diploma mill provided “Dr.” Melissa with her edukamation? Hopefully it’s not the same one as “Dr.” Kent “Dino” Hovind.
Seanly said,
November 14, 2006 at 19:51
Can I use that logo for my new blog “Prissy Poker-Playing Patriotic Pirates” wherein I advocate forced abortions for white folks & forced gay marriages while drinking the blood of capitalist swine?
At least if we have Congress, I can weather 2 more years of idiots like that Melissa posting at Protein Wisdom.
anonymous said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:07
My favorite line from the good Dr.’s piece:
“For all the babbling about working across the isle, does anyone, anywhere believe that the Democrats aren’t going to jam through their progressive agenda even when the electorate voted for them because they campaigned on conservative values?”
She may be thinking of “The Isle of Misfit Toys” which, come to think of it, might be the perfect place for the inmates of Protein Wisdom. Mr. Goldstein could be the Mayor.
(You don’t suppose Dr. Melissa was a classmate of the good Dr. Frisch, do you?)
Righteous Bubba said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:11
Every time you guys throw one of your tantrums, we’ll just fix Ace’s logo more.
The face in front of those swords is looking awfully pale and emaciated.
Gavin M. said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:16
Oh, I just updated it under the page fold.
This logo is going to rock!
mdhatter said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:21
Good work.
I think it needs a skeleton parrot.
teh crickets®© said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:23
Meanwhile, teh crickets is waiting for Michelle to say something about Michelle-loving domestic terrorists….
Kathleen said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:24
um, call me crazy, but I thought Democrats were such pussies we were already surrenderig to Al Queda.
How can we both be total pussies that can’t be trusted to defend America AND be so totally ruthless that the nice, “don’t hate me” Republicans (who CAN be trusted to defend America) have no chance against our superior power?
MCH said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:25
Where was Rick Moran’s incisive analysis during Patterico and Ace vs Sadly, No!?
Conservatives are people who will see someone burn themselves on a hot stove and laugh at the victim, but will then proceed to touch the stove themselves because they couldn’t just take the victim’s word for it that touching hot stoves is a bad thing. Then, having been burned themselves, they declare that hot stoves are unAmerican and evil, and blame the nearest liberal for burning the victim they’re still laughing at—all while noting that the fact that they lit the damn stove themselves in the first place is not even relevant.
MCH said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:29
Kathleen: On that same note, how can we do-nothing, thumb-twiddling liberals manage to do nothing but thumb-twiddle, yet ram an ultra-liberal agenda through Congress?
Apparently liberals can do the impossible. Schweet!! See!?! Ergo, only Dems can win in Iraq!!!11!1
tigrismus said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:30
Wait, that can’t be the same guy as this Moran, can it?
Kathleen said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:34
I know tigrismus, it’s hard to believe that Moran is such a hypocrite isn’t it?!
Pinko Punko said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:35
What about some flickering flames behing the skull, or making the eyes throb?
Or make the skull slowly appear?
I think we could have an eye-popper!
pepper said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:38
The updated logo has me giggling. And these people are so crazy, it’s awesome.
GoatBoy said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:45
Michelle has the thinnest of hair triggers to post about any crime commited by what might be one of them there IsLAH-MOfascists. Moran disingenuously misses the point. That cobag.
owlbear1 said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:50
How can we both be total pussies that can’t be trusted to defend America AND be so totally ruthless that the nice, “don’t hate me� Republicans (who CAN be trusted to defend America) have no chance against our superior power?
===============
I’m not completely sure but I think the first step on that journey is believing that, “if we kill enough of them Democracy is sure to flourish!”
Then it takes being able to say with a straight face, “Why are the Iraqis acting so ungrateful?”
Once those two tests are endured, statements like, “The Wimp Democrats are just too mean and tough for us!” just roll off the tongue.
craigie said,
November 14, 2006 at 20:57
How can we both be total pussies that can’t be trusted to defend America AND be so totally ruthless that the nice, “don’t hate me� Republicans (who CAN be trusted to defend America) have no chance against our superior power?
It’s faith-based whining!
J— said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:07
Oh, I just updated it under the page fold.
This logo is going to rock!
You are a talented and generous man, Gavin M.
Some Guy said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:15
If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the restaurant at the end of the universe.
You know, I seem to recall certain blogs raising all kinds of hell over that crazy teacher lady, a few months back, and demanding why Kos and Atrios and who the fuck ever weren’t rushing to scream their denouncement and apologies from the mountain topover her behavior.
But now that we have a actual crazy persion, doing actual crazy things, who’s posted in numerous Rightwing blogs and professes his schoolboy love for Malkin, mAnn Coulter, and Laura Ingram, it’s suddenly a rediculious shriek to wonder why Malkin won’t address it?
How about when Coulter claimed to have been responsable for the letters?
L.G. Fucktard said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:17
Ace’s research on the death card logo led him to “this interesting page”, which says:
…Captain Blaine Revis …was asked by the division commanding general about the use of the ace of spades for PSYOP…:
[Revis] told him that it was a bad idea and a case of transposed symbolism. We Americans look at the ace of spades as the death card, but to the Vietnamese it is more like a phallic symbol and if anything might suggest that we were involved in necrophilia”
At least one of those crossed swords should be a stiffy.
tigrismus said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:19
Indeed, Kathleen, I am well and truly flummoxed. Oh, well, giving him a ruthless kick in the second fiddle will probably give me back my fuel and fire.
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:21
I’ve commented on both Patterico’s and Ace of Spade’s sites, just to see if discourse was possible.
No.
They’re like little boys who have their toys taken away for misbehavior. No amount of reasoning in the world will get you a six year old to go “Oh, yeah, I get it now. That makes sense and in the future will act accordingly”. There’s either yes or no, black or white, good or evil, terraist or not terraist.
A timeout won’t work here. A little tough love might, but I’m not counting on it.
anonymous said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:29
mmm…lemonheads said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:21
I’ve commented on both Patterico’s and Ace of Spade’s sites, just to see if discourse was possible.
There’s a 12-step program for that.
islmfaoscist said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:35
Oxford University’s word of the year is a greater threat to America.
anonymous said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:39
At AceofSpadesHQ they might say Oxford University was a threat to America. After all, Clinton went there … until you tell them Christopher Hitchens went there too.
M.Sphinx said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:47
At this rate that Ace of Spades logo’s going to end up at the Louvre.
Bubba said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:49
The flag is the best touch yet- nicely done, Gavin!
The swords need a little more flavor- maybe the blood of Mexoislamofascists dripping down the blades. Maybe a little rust from disuse (we haven’t started a war in YEARS, after all). Maybe each sword can have a name on it, like “FREEDOM” and “LIBERTY” or some such thing. And maybe a little texture on the forehead to make the skull look even more angry. Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker, after all, making every numbskull conservative cranky.
Although, really, a sloped forehead and pronounced eyebrows would be more applicable for the site.
Yar!
Ron Mexico said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:57
Teh Awesum. . . now just add a bikini-clad Malkin stroking the sword and you’ll be finished.
A bikini-clad Jesse Malkin, that is.
NickM said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:02
The ciggy in Ace’s mouth is sweet. Next step – one of those German/biker type helmets – you know, with the flaps that come down towards the ears?
craigie said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:10
By golly, you just made me read a “person” who wrote this:
One thing that bothers me, has bothered me for 12 years actually, about the Republicans, is that they don’t know what to do with leadership. Politics is a blood sport and the Republicans have always played like it’s Chutes and Ladders (actually a ruthless game if you get into playing it).
Apart from the first-order insanity of Republicans as Mary Poppins, wtf? is the thing with Chutes and Ladders? That game is totally deterministic – you don’t get to have a strategy. Come to think of it, maybe that’s what’s wrong with Republicans too…
Some Guy said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:18
Naming the swords works, but I would go with “Cheetos” and “Recliner”
M.Sphinx said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:18
Gavin, you need to replace the skull with a picture of Reagan. That would rock.
sohei said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:24
Make the logo a flash animation that plays the Motorhead song “Ace of Spades.” And then have the skull dripping with blood and smoke coming out of its eyes! And maybe it could scream or something. That would be totally metal.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:25
Y’know, one of those swords is chipped.
M.Sphinx said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:27
In fact, you could replace the swords with a couple of spades. That would be totally metal.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:27
TEH STUPID, IT BURNS!
Hysterical Woman said,
November 14, 2006 at 22:29
The strategy in Shoots and Ladders is to either gloat so much after winning that no one plays with you anymore and you remain an undefeated winner, or to whine after you lose so that your older siblings admit that you “really won” so that you will shut up.
craigie said,
November 14, 2006 at 23:00
Ah! So just like the GOP! Je comprends!
(uh oh, I just gave myself away)
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 14, 2006 at 23:06
Flames off the trailing edges of the swords.
HST Gonzo-Aviator reflecting sunglasses of course. Unless you’re really stuck on the glowing eyes, then just an eyepatch.
And some arabesque in the spade field.
Lovely work.
Kathleen said,
November 14, 2006 at 23:40
The strategy in Shoots and Ladders is to either gloat so much after winning that no one plays with you anymore and you remain an undefeated winner, or to whine after you lose so that your older siblings admit that you “really won� so that you will shut up.
sounds like WPE played a lot of chutes and ladders on AF One.
dgbellak said,
November 15, 2006 at 0:05
Ace’s logo is looking better, but it still doesn’t seem van-mural-esque enough for his tastes. It needs more mountains and lightning and clydesdales and valkyries!
Smiling Mortician said,
November 15, 2006 at 3:08
Yes, Clydesdales. That will complete the image.
But seriously folks . . . I’m thrilled with the overall effect of the comments here, but am stuck back at 19:30, with mikey’s “They have wars. We have sex.” I was pretty young when my older siblings were running around with their “Make love, not war” buttons. Although I think Nixon is probably spinning in his grave at what BushCo has gotten away with — he was, after all, guilty of lesser crimes at the time of his colossal fall from grace — I can’t help feeling a twinge of the old hopeful. Dare I hope for a resurgence of the Age of Aquarius? Is it possible that there exists a groundswell of pro-fucking, anti-fucking-up zeitgeist?
Nah. I’m probably just feeling the effects of my after-work glass of Cab Merlot. But it was a pleasant thought.
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 15, 2006 at 5:28
A minotaur. Seriously. They rock.
Gentlewoman said,
November 15, 2006 at 5:54
I’m in favor of the skeletal parrot. Excellent work, as always, Gavin. What a pity that it will be wasted on AoS.
herr doktor bimler said,
November 15, 2006 at 9:45
In the meantime, what do I gotta do to get a logo from you, Gavin?
Don’t know about a logo, Mikey, but here’s some Stoopid Stuff poetry that I read the other day in Chesterton’s The Flying Inn. I’ll spare you verses 1, 2 and 4…
The song of the fury of Fragolette is a florid song and a torrid song,
The song of the sorrow of Tara is sung to a harp unstrung,
The song of the cheerful Shropshire Lad I consider a perfectly horrid song,
And the song of the happy Futurist is a song that can’t be sung.
a different brad said,
November 16, 2006 at 1:53
I commented on Ricky’s thread. Let’s see how long it takes him to alter it. I am, after all smug, self-righteous, and really juvenile. I need to be put in my place by appearing to make random animal noises.
a different brad said,
November 16, 2006 at 3:20
Took less than two hours, plus he typed in all caps.
Gosh, I love ricky.
Sadly, No! » Now It’s Definitely A Cry For Help said,
November 21, 2006 at 20:10
[...] Above: Ace’s new logo [...]
Sadly, No! » Celebrity Deathmatch said,
January 12, 2007 at 11:06
[...] Cry me a river, Dan. How much do you think he gave us for this? [...]
Sadly, No! » It’s Starting To Sound Like A Cry For Help said,
March 4, 2008 at 1:34
[...] Ace’s new logo: lookin’ sharp * ? ** ?? † ??!? [...]
Sadly, No! » Ahem-hem said,
March 4, 2008 at 1:39
[...] Yeah Ace, as a matter of fact, we do have one. Do you have any idea how long we worked on this? [...]