Nov
8

OK, One More “Bwah-Ha-Ha,” and Then Bed




Posted at 9:13 by Brad

Hugh Hewitt is being really goddamn funny tonight. He basically blames the GOP’s loss on people like John McCain because they weren’t mean or partisan enough:

The public cares little for the “traditions” of the Senate or the way the appropriations process used to work. It demands results. Handed a large majority, the GOP frittered it away. The chief fritterer was Senator McCain and his Gang of 14 and Kennedy-McCain immigration bill, supplemented by a last minute throw down that prevented the NSA bill from progressing or the key judicial nominations from receiving a vote. His accomplice in that master stroke was Senator Graham.

[Gavin adds: Ha ha giggle chuckle chortle snork. Honestly, Hewitt is like a cautionary instance of a human soul completely sotted with lazy dishonesty. The fault lies with Republicans who weren't extreme, arrogant, and corrupt enough... ]

It gets better, too. Here is the juiciest bit:

President Bush will not flag in the pursuit of the war, and Senator Santorum is now available for a seat on the SCOTUS should one become available.

Wow. I am literally speechless. G’night.

Gavin adds: Hehe were in yr base killing yuor doods!1!!

36 Comments »

  1. sprezzatura said,

    November 8, 2006 at 9:18

    Say what you want about Steven Colbert, and Jon Stewart, for my money the funniest fake journalist is Hugh Hewitt.

  2. BarrettBrown said,

    November 8, 2006 at 9:31

    We’re in yur Congress, attaining a more moderate, policy-oriented overall representation!!!!

  3. JK47 said,

    November 8, 2006 at 10:14

    Hehe were in yr base killing yuor doods!1!!

    This is why I love this place. Gavin, that was the funniest and most satisfying thing I’ve seen all day.

  4. Steve T. said,

    November 8, 2006 at 10:15

    When I was living in LA fifteen or twenty years ago, Hugh Hewitt was on a weekly local PBS TV show with a few others talking about the goings on in politics, society, and culture. His principal co-star was a lady whose trademark was a remarkable variety of enormous hats. He was noticeably conservative then, but basically sane and sensible. But what he’s become since……

    What a shame. What a shame.

  5. Demogenes Aristophanes said,

    November 8, 2006 at 10:17

    Funniest line of the night, from Instafuckwit:

    DAN RIEHL IS CALLING VIRGINIA FOR GEORGE ALLEN, which is more than the TV networks are willing to do.

    An Army of Dumbfucks, indeed. Heh.

  6. celticgirl said,

    November 8, 2006 at 10:22

    Justice Santorum? Oh.Dear.God.

    Put the crack pipe down Hugh…

  7. Demogenes Aristophanes said,

    November 8, 2006 at 10:36

    The other big rumor is:

    Fire Rumsfeld. Replace with Lieberman. Replace Lieberman in Senate with GOP-caucusing ‘independent’. Swing Senate back to GOP.

    That would fucking suck. Not to darken anyone’s great day or nuthin’ …

  8. Pinko Punko said,

    November 8, 2006 at 11:08

    DA, Gregor was on that last montho.

    I’m in yr cellar squashing your Pombos!

    I’m in ur pants having a monster!

  9. Pinko Punko said,

    November 8, 2006 at 11:09

    KICK OUT THE JAMZ MOTHERFUCKAS

    POMBO, TIME TO REPORT AS STAIN ON THE I-5.

  10. Some Guy said,

    November 8, 2006 at 11:17

    Lieberman as Secretary of Defense sounds worse them Rumsfield.
    “Baghdad is a big place, it shouldn’t be more then a short walk to find another hospital willing to treat your shrapnel wounds.”

    SCOTUS Santorum is cause for rioting. You have been warned.

  11. Mike said,

    November 8, 2006 at 11:38

    Where’s Gary? Where’s the dustbin of history the dems were to be swept into?

  12. Pinko Punko said,

    November 8, 2006 at 11:55

    I’m in ur dustbins making myself history.

  13. Jillian said,

    November 8, 2006 at 12:05

    Okay, guys, this is good……

    But I’m warning you NOW that we must be on these new Dems from day one. They must come to know our names and hate the sight of new envelopes and emails from us. They must be made to tremble in fear at the thought of the Samuel L. Jackson level of righteous assbeating we will bring down upon their sorry lives if they don’t take the Democratic party out of the fetid conservative swamp its been wandering around in for over a decade now.

    I realize that substanitive moves toward fixing the Iraq clusterfuck, simply by their very nature, must come first. But these guys need to be aware that unless we hear SUBSTANTIVE talk about a living wage (as opposed to a “minimum wage”), about real health care, about fixing the mess our schools are in, about doing something to strengthen environmental regulation, and reigning in corrupt business practices, we will send each and every one of them home crying to their mommas.

    The fact that the Dems won is not the time to STOP being angry. It’s the time to START being angry. Really angry. This party has walked away from everything its supposed base believes in through the last years, and they need to be made painfully, painfully aware of this fact. Don’t ease up on them. As we have given, so shall we take away if the party doesn’t get its collective head out of its collective ass.

    And they have to know this. Everything that every one of us has done over the last weeks, months and years to bring this about will be completely wasted if they don’t.

    Once your hangovers from last night clear up, you know what to do.

    I imagine those links will have the updated names and addresses in a couple of days.

  14. ecostudent said,

    November 8, 2006 at 12:32

    Oh my god, Santorum on SCOTUS, an unemployed Pombo would be Bush’s obvious choice of Sec. of Interior – I think I will look for an island somewhere to stake out a spot on.

  15. herr doktor bimler said,

    November 8, 2006 at 12:50

    Santorum SCOTUS Pombo
    – Is this some sort of Satanic invocation? Or should I be thinking Gregorian chant?
    (Actually, now Santorum is toast, I reckon you need a politician called Colostrum).

  16. Anne Laurie said,

    November 8, 2006 at 13:00

    Say what you want about Steven Colbert, and Jon Stewart, for my money the funniest fake journalist is Hugh Hewitt.

    Does that make Jonah Goldberg America’s Borat?

  17. Adam Yoshida said,

    November 8, 2006 at 13:57

    Nuke Kazakhstan.

  18. Karatist Preacher said,

    November 8, 2006 at 14:19

    Santorum and SCOTUS in the same sentence…time for bed.

  19. ats said,

    November 8, 2006 at 15:39

    Poor Halperin. Sucking up to the wrong pundit.

  20. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    November 8, 2006 at 15:43

    President Bush will not flag in the pursuit of the war, and Senator Santorum is now available for a seat on the SCOTUS should one become available.

    No way! Pammy says Santorum is presidential material!

  21. Marq said,

    November 8, 2006 at 16:46

    President Bush will not flag in the pursuit of the war, and Senator Santorum is now available for a seat on the SCOTUS should one become available.

    Well, that’s a nightmare scenario, ezzent it? Not, hopefully, that it would stand the proverbial snowball’s chance, but still. I’ve seen fucking Ashcroft’s name bandied about for the SCOTUS, and worse. Let’s face it, if Shrubby McLintlock gets another go at a SCOTUS nomination, his choice is gonna flat-out suck, no matter what, so we gotta try and make sure he doesn’t get another one (best health wishes to you, justice Stevens! please don’t retire! or die.).

  22. Marq said,

    November 8, 2006 at 17:03

    I agree with what “Jillian said, November 8, 2006 at 12:05″ 150%. The hard work now lies ahead of us. We cannot allow our little group of Hee-Haw regulars to sit around slapping themselves on the back and drinking from the jug full of corn squeezin’s. No. Gotta light a little fire under teh bastidz. Or, maybe, a conflagration.

  23. BrooklynRaider said,

    November 8, 2006 at 17:45

    Why would Lieberman leave a Senate seat which is his for life for a two-year gig as a lame-duck cabinet member in a deeply unpopular administration?

    I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Joementum’s going to milk his little swing status for all it’s worth – he’s going to be having too much fun to leave the Senate.

  24. xebecs said,

    November 8, 2006 at 17:51

    Why would Lieberman leave a Senate seat which is his for life for a two-year gig as a lame-duck cabinet member in a deeply unpopular administration?

    Call me a dreamer, but I’d say “his for six more years” is more accurate.

  25. Gary Ruppert said,

    November 8, 2006 at 18:30

    The fact is, Santorum’s loss is a victory for the terrorists. Altoona has just gone on red alert, and Johnstown is fortifying their dam system. The Nancy Pelosi led Democrat party will be to blame.

  26. tb said,

    November 8, 2006 at 18:56

    This is sweet. Anyone else spotted any wingnuts going Schindler’s List, heil-Hitlering on the end of a rope as the Russians kick apart the stool beneath him?

  27. Dan Someone said,

    November 8, 2006 at 19:06

    Santorum SCOTUS Pombo

    Is that anything like “Klaatu barada nikto”?

  28. D. Sidhe said,

    November 8, 2006 at 19:43

    Jillian, will you marry me?

  29. Demogenes Aristophanes said,

    November 8, 2006 at 19:51

    Gary’s absolutely right. But even worse, Pombo’s loss has eliminated the last line of defense against an army of nuke-wielding jihadists who even now are just seconds from bombing the downtown Tracy Wal-Mart.

  30. Demogenes Aristophanes said,

    November 8, 2006 at 19:54

    Oh, and to add another point to Gary’s – it would probably be wise to cut our losses and simply write off the state of Pennsylvania, as it was effectively under sharia law as of Santorum’s concession speech last night. The fact is, women in Scranton are now being stoned to death for appearing in public without a burkha.

  31. J— said,

    November 8, 2006 at 20:07

    Buck up, soon-to-be-former Senator Santorum. It looks like there’s an opening at the Defense Department.

  32. crazyworld said,

    November 9, 2006 at 1:40

    I’ve heard of Hewitt before, and thought he was a real person, but I just followed your link and realized he’s just a parody, like Jesus’ General, only more outrageous. The dead giveaway was “Rick Santorum for SCOTUS. I laughed my ass off. General J. C. Christian, you’re on notice: you’ve got some serious competition!

  33. Rodney Badger said,

    November 9, 2006 at 2:20

    Hehe were in yr cngress revrsing yur legislationz!!!1!11

  34. salty said,

    November 9, 2006 at 5:31

    Hehe were in yr base killing yuor doods!1!!

    Easily the best summation of the election.

  35. Darkwater said,

    November 9, 2006 at 7:41

    The public cares little for the “traditions� of the Senate or the way the appropriations process used to work. It demands results. Handed a large majority, the GOP frittered it away. The chief fritterer was Senator McCain and his Gang of 14 and Kennedy-McCain immigration bill,

    So, the Republicans lost because a Republican-sponsored bill in line with the President’s desires was passed in the Senate.

  36. George Johnston said,

    November 9, 2006 at 10:19

    Justice Santorum makes complete sense. That place has been going to the dogs lately.

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