Comments on: I Did NOT Just Hallucinate This….

By: Dan

Dan — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 09:58:12 +0000

> â€œillegal alien women,â€? damnit! Bryce: How do you tell if it's a female? Cliff: 'Cause it's got tits. Bryce: What makes 'em different than regular tits? Cliff: They got four.

By: Marq

Marq — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 17:05:41 +0000

“illegal alien women,” damnit!

By: Marq

Marq — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 17:04:00 +0000

I heard that Kerryâ€™s crack is soft on immigration and wants to force every 15 year old to become pregnant so they have have an abortion.

Quick!!!1!!! Tell teh funnymentalists about this!!!!1111!!!
They’ll oppose teh aBOARshinz!11!!!!! Hmm. But diesn’t it occur to them…
Every illegal who gets knocked-up here and doesn’t wind up getting an abortion ultimately has… an ANCHOR BABY!!1!!1!!!
It makes ya think!
Of course, as a frenzied leftist, I must approve of as many anchor babiez as illegal alein women can squeeze out. Huzzah!

By: jade

jade — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 03:07:25 +0000

“Kerry’s crack — a symbol of a divided America”
“Ann Bart*w: Kerry’s crack not funny”
“Hinderaker: Bush covers Kerry’s crack”
“Bush: never put a comma where God put a colon”
“Kerry vows to put crack behind him”

By: liberalrob

liberalrob — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 23:09:05 +0000

“Kerryâ€™s crack has emboldened the terraists. They now see an opening.”
â€œRepublicans Demand Probe into Kerryâ€™s Crackâ€?

TFF

By: zenster666

zenster666 — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 20:21:47 +0000

This just in…

…”GOP bloggers hack Kerry’s crack”

By: Dan

Dan — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:55:05 +0000

Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: Glenn... Glenn, listen, tell me, ah... when did you first become, well, develop this theory? General Glenn D. Cracker: Well, I ah, I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love. Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: [sighs fearfully] General Glenn D. Cracker: Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence. Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: Yes... General Glenn D. Cracker: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women... women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

By: Major Woody

Major Woody — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 15:33:03 +0000

“Why Kerry’s Crack Matters”?

Man, the editors were asleep at the wheel to let that one go by! Here’s a much better version:

“Republicans Demand Probe into Kerry’s Crack”

By: GoatBoy

GoatBoy — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:55:36 +0000

You know, de-evolution is very real.

By: Djur

Djur — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:26:33 +0000

Excuse me, but I don’t believe Instacracker has any sexual energy to concentrate, so an Energy Dome would be worthless to him.

Although I’d say he’s still devo.

By: Jâ€”

Jâ€” — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 23:34:12 +0000

I thought today's top story was this: Carey cracks over cleavage.

By: Poopyman

Poopyman — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 22:50:50 +0000

Here’s another WTF moment:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15512513/?GT1=8717

Pasted right up top on msn.com

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:49:12 +0000

Nice to see that Glennbot is above the jock-publican â€œBetcha Osamaâ€™s got a small dick!!11!!!â€? tactics of previous years. Itâ€™s the sort of mentality that usually results from huffing used sweat-sock fumes. Is there really anything wrong with that mentality? First of all, he probably does have a small dick. Second, it's reminiscent of awesome stuff like this. Good times, good times.

By: Daniel DiRito

Daniel DiRito — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:46:04 +0000

See a tongue-in-cheek posting that employs the same GOP tactic used in relation to Senator Kerry to creatively interpret remarks made by the President in the most unfavorable manner…here:

http://www.thoughttheater.com

By: mmm...lemonheads

mmm...lemonheads — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:38:35 +0000

All I know is 9.99 for the ultimate rush is a pretty good deal.

By: luther

luther — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:24:38 +0000

Now what? Kerry really didn’t receive his refrigerator repairman’s license?

By: Mr. Squeaky

Mr. Squeaky — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:17:38 +0000

Hey now, let’s not taint the almighty DEVO by associatin’ ‘em with someone as ludicrous as the Perfesser. They may have worn yellow plastic protection suits, Energy Domes, 3-D glasses, plastic hair, and skateboarding gear (in various mix-n-match combinations), but at least they’ve always been proven right, if not frighteningly prescient — something nobody can accuse GR of ever having been.

By: Some Guy

Some Guy — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:09:08 +0000

I heard that Kerry’s crack is soft on immigration and wants to force every 15 year old to become pregnant so they have have an abortion.

By: Hubris

Hubris — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 21:03:22 +0000

For several reasons, Kerryâ€™s crack matters:

1. Kerryâ€™s crack failed to immediately condemn remarks made by Kerry.
2. If shared, Kerryâ€™s crack could prove to be an effective alternative energy source, lessening Americaâ€™s dependence on foreign oil reserves.
3. Kerryâ€™s crack obviously just looking to â€œcut â€˜n run.â€?
4. Teen pregnancy rates dramatically higher in Kerryâ€™s crack (source).

By: MCH

MCH — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 20:51:07 +0000

Muslamonazis want to screw 72 virgins in Heaven.
Transhumanoidofascists want to screw things with screws, like Cylons and shit.
Christotalitarians just want to screw something, anything, as long as no one ever finds out.

Hrm.

Nice to see that Glennbot is above the jock-publican “Betcha Osama’s got a small dick!!11!!!” tactics of previous years. It’s the sort of mentality that usually results from huffing used sweat-sock fumes.

He’s just the kind* of idiot who used to taunt my semi-pacifist ass** in grade school, bravely throwing punches that never really connected well while I rolled my eyes and walked away/cut and run … until the day he really pissed me off and I kicked his ass so fast I surprised myself (being a non-fighter and most likely objectively wimpslamic). In other words, the sort of kid whose ass you could kick in front of the faculty and get nothing but approving, smirking nods in return.

*”Kind” as in “category” not as in an idiomatic way of saying I kicked his ass. Lo, I just thought of it. Never met him.
** Why My Crack Matters.