1
I Did NOT Just Hallucinate This….
Above: Actual screen-capture
Update: What pheremones are spiked into the Kool-Aid today? Here’s Perfesser CyberCracker:
WHY THEY HATE US:
In my seminar the other day, one of my students remarked that terrorism is probably based on sexual frustration. She may be right:People in western countries tend to have more sexual partners than those in the developing world, a study says. . . .
This was despite developing countries having higher rates of sexually transmitted infections and HIV.
Fewer partners, more disease. That would make me mad . . . .
posted at 06:56 AM by Glenn Reynolds
Grammar Corner: The present unreal conditional tense in English (’if’ –> ‘would’ and related constructions) is correctly used to denote a hypothetical action or situation, implying its unreality.
Above: Glenn Reynolds
Correction: “Fewer partners, more disease. That would [is what] make[s] me [so] mad.”
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:23
In a world gone mad, Kerry’s crack matters. To the girls of Ultimate Limbaugh.
Yeah it all makes sense now.
Hate Encrusted Eyes said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:31
They can’t even lie properly to themselves anymore.
All any wingnut will remember about this is boobs boobs boobs.
HemlockEcho said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:34
Is that WTF arrow part of the original screen capture? Does it follow your mouse around like those “Swat the fly” ads? Man, those advertisers are getting really pushy.
bpower said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:35
If Rush gets his big tits out I’m gettin a copy
Xanthippas said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:36
I want a WTF arrow.
Alek Hidell said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:37
Hey, they have to distance themselves from Mark Foley somehow.
Linnaeus said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:37
Damn those liberals and their licentiousness!
Oh, wait…
MCH said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:38
Kerry’s crack matters because … well, because if it ain’t about an orifice, the GOP don’t wanna know.
Gavin M. said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:40
Is that WTF arrow part of the original screen capture? Does it follow your mouse around like those “Swat the fly� ads?
You know, it looks better without the arrow… I’m'unna change it.
MCH said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:44
Oh, and H.E.E.: On this All-Swanks-Day, wouldst thou be dubbeth “Eyes Crusted Over for Hate”?
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:48
Sadly, No! has shown more cleavage today than Wonkette.
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 1, 2006 at 21:55
Kerry’s crack has emboldened the terraists. They now see an opening.
Some Guy said,
November 1, 2006 at 22:05
“I hear he’s taken money from pornographers, but hey, who hasn’t?”
Michael said,
November 1, 2006 at 22:34
HAH! Come the Singularity, the Perfesserbot 3000 will be getting all kinds of transhuman tail, with nanobots to clear up the syphilis. The GGW ad is just a reminder of how much quality cylon ass will be, must be coming their way, eventually, someday. So roll your Save vs. PWNAGE.
Some Guy said,
November 1, 2006 at 22:37
Hmm, that sexual frustration thing helps explain much about the Christian Right, as well.
Even more they have in common! We really need to hook these two groups up, they’ll get along famously.
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 1, 2006 at 22:41
Are we not men?
Glenn, teh question begs.
MCH said,
November 1, 2006 at 22:51
Muslamonazis want to screw 72 virgins in Heaven.
Transhumanoidofascists want to screw things with screws, like Cylons and shit.
Christotalitarians just want to screw something, anything, as long as no one ever finds out.
Hrm.
Nice to see that Glennbot is above the jock-publican “Betcha Osama’s got a small dick!!11!!!” tactics of previous years. It’s the sort of mentality that usually results from huffing used sweat-sock fumes.
He’s just the kind* of idiot who used to taunt my semi-pacifist ass** in grade school, bravely throwing punches that never really connected well while I rolled my eyes and walked away/cut and run … until the day he really pissed me off and I kicked his ass so fast I surprised myself (being a non-fighter and most likely objectively wimpslamic). In other words, the sort of kid whose ass you could kick in front of the faculty and get nothing but approving, smirking nods in return.
*”Kind” as in “category” not as in an idiomatic way of saying I kicked his ass. Lo, I just thought of it. Never met him.
** Why My Crack Matters.
Hubris said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:03
For several reasons, Kerry’s crack matters:
1. Kerry’s crack failed to immediately condemn remarks made by Kerry.
2. If shared, Kerry’s crack could prove to be an effective alternative energy source, lessening America’s dependence on foreign oil reserves.
3. Kerry’s crack obviously just looking to “cut ‘n run.�
4. Teen pregnancy rates dramatically higher in Kerry’s crack (source).
Some Guy said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:09
I heard that Kerry’s crack is soft on immigration and wants to force every 15 year old to become pregnant so they have have an abortion.
Mr. Squeaky said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:17
Hey now, let’s not taint the almighty DEVO by associatin’ ‘em with someone as ludicrous as the Perfesser. They may have worn yellow plastic protection suits, Energy Domes, 3-D glasses, plastic hair, and skateboarding gear (in various mix-n-match combinations), but at least they’ve always been proven right, if not frighteningly prescient — something nobody can accuse GR of ever having been.
luther said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:24
Now what? Kerry really didn’t receive his refrigerator repairman’s license?
mmm...lemonheads said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:38
All I know is 9.99 for the ultimate rush is a pretty good deal.
Daniel DiRito said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:46
See a tongue-in-cheek posting that employs the same GOP tactic used in relation to Senator Kerry to creatively interpret remarks made by the President in the most unfavorable manner…here:
http://www.thoughttheater.com
Steve said,
November 1, 2006 at 23:49
Nice to see that Glennbot is above the jock-publican “Betcha Osama’s got a small dick!!11!!!� tactics of previous years. It’s the sort of mentality that usually results from huffing used sweat-sock fumes.
Is there really anything wrong with that mentality? First of all, he probably does have a small dick. Second, it’s reminiscent of awesome stuff like this. Good times, good times.
Poopyman said,
November 2, 2006 at 0:50
Here’s another WTF moment:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15512513/?GT1=8717
Pasted right up top on msn.com
J— said,
November 2, 2006 at 1:34
I thought today’s top story was this:
Carey cracks over cleavage.
Djur said,
November 2, 2006 at 10:26
Excuse me, but I don’t believe Instacracker has any sexual energy to concentrate, so an Energy Dome would be worthless to him.
Although I’d say he’s still devo.
GoatBoy said,
November 2, 2006 at 15:55
You know, de-evolution is very real.
Major Woody said,
November 2, 2006 at 17:33
“Why Kerry’s Crack Matters”?
Man, the editors were asleep at the wheel to let that one go by! Here’s a much better version:
“Republicans Demand Probe into Kerry’s Crack”
Dan said,
November 2, 2006 at 18:55
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: Glenn… Glenn, listen, tell me, ah… when did you first become, well, develop this theory?
General Glenn D. Cracker: Well, I ah, I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: [sighs fearfully]
General Glenn D. Cracker: Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence.
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: Yes…
General Glenn D. Cracker: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women… women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.
zenster666 said,
November 2, 2006 at 22:21
This just in…
…”GOP bloggers hack Kerry’s crack”
liberalrob said,
November 3, 2006 at 1:09
“Kerry’s crack has emboldened the terraists. They now see an opening.”
“Republicans Demand Probe into Kerry’s Crack�
TFF
jade said,
November 3, 2006 at 5:07
“Kerry’s crack — a symbol of a divided America”
“Ann Bart*w: Kerry’s crack not funny”
“Hinderaker: Bush covers Kerry’s crack”
“Bush: never put a comma where God put a colon”
“Kerry vows to put crack behind him”
Marq said,
November 3, 2006 at 19:04
Quick!!!1!!! Tell teh funnymentalists about this!!!!1111!!!
They’ll oppose teh aBOARshinz!11!!!!! Hmm. But diesn’t it occur to them…
Every illegal who gets knocked-up here and doesn’t wind up getting an abortion ultimately has… an ANCHOR BABY!!1!!1!!!
It makes ya think!
Of course, as a frenzied leftist, I must approve of as many anchor babiez as illegal alein women can squeeze out. Huzzah!
Marq said,
November 3, 2006 at 19:05
“illegal alien women,” damnit!
Dan said,
November 5, 2006 at 11:58
> “illegal alien women,� damnit!
Bryce: How do you tell if it’s a female?
Cliff: ‘Cause it’s got tits.
Bryce: What makes ‘em different than regular tits?
Cliff: They got four.