Well I’m convinced!

Right Side News, the estranged cousin of the poor man’s Renew America, has a post on the constitutionality of President Youppi’s Muslim Ban. I don’t want to add anything to what they write, but did want to highlight the picture that accompanies the post. It’s either a truly great piece of trolling or, quite simply, just what it looks like: des vidanges.

Speaking of trash: I would like to join much of the internet in consternation over the fact that the mere ability to honor a fallen soldier and thank his widow is all that is required to be seen as presidential. Maybe we can get Secretary De Vos to let us know whether The Donald showed proficiency or growth on Tuesday. I think it’s clear by which standard even the liberal Van Jones grades his presidents. Maybe when the next grossly unqualified person wants to become president, he can start off his first big debate by wetting himself, not being in the right city, saying something overtly racist, and pulling his dick out, begin plucking it and shout “Willy Banjo!” [link]. Showing growth should be easy enough after that.

 

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Maybe we can get Secretary De Vos to let us know whether The Donald showed proficiency or growth on Tuesday.

Buy enough fucking dishwasher detergent and she’ll tell you that she has the Loch Ness Monster trapped in her vag. She’s a fucking hack.

She is probably one of the few players in this Shitministration who’s NOT a Russian tool. On the other hand, she thinks a boat big enough to hold two of every creature, even if the hippos got horny, saved teh world from a psychopathic floating elf-on-a-shelf killing the non-two of everything else (ignore the immediate horrible inbreeding of the hippos and Ham and Hapsephut).

 
 

It was called “Reaganesque!” by all the wingnuts I’ve read commenting about it, which is actually true, but not in the way they meant – an empty gesture by an empty suit whose every action belies his words.

 
 

One, not sure what ‘Dear Leaders middle name is but that signature looks like it could be DonaldKimIlJ.ongTrump…And if I remember something from the section we covered in handwriting analysis during high-school or section one college psychology, the haste and verticality of his signature are indicative of some psychological traits, none of them IIRC very flattering, but there’s our Donald…Waiting in the wings is President Pence…..Oh and there should be some fresh hell afoot…TwitterBaby is on it again….

 
 

I figured out a way to make a quick buck. You know how Sadly, No! and other blogs occasionally feature “shorter” versions of “articles” written by wingnuts? What if we could reverse engineer the process?

For example, I was reading a label on some popcorn I was eating, and the label pointed out the popcorn was “trans fat free”. Which made me think that “Liberals hate trans fats … and that makes them the real bigots” would make an excellent “shorter”. And then I began to imagine what kind of article would be summarized by such a shorter. I imagine it wouldn’t take long to actually write the article, which could easily be published in NRO or Townhall, and I could get a few bucks as the author.

So is this feasible? You find something that you think might anger a reactionary (which is easy as they are so often angered), come up with a snarky summary of why they are angry and the write an article that could be summarized by your snarky summary. How many times could this done before the market is saturated?

 
 

Lumpy’s middle name is “John”. Make of it what you will.

 
 

“In the Loop”— a modern classic.

Peter Capaldi as “Malcolm Tucker” shoulda won an Oscar.

 
 

Dear DAS: Way back in the seriously old days we wrote a faux wingnut column which we managed to get published on The Rant (sadly, that website is no longer with us). Our recollection is that it was a lot of work, but it did contain some gems such as:

The simple fact (and one that is more plainly evident than an ACLU lawyer at a NAMBLA convention) is that France and Germany have no more loyalty to our United States than Al Gore does to sanity. Both countries can be counted on for only one thing: planning against American interests with the same energy and enthusiasm as Michael Moore set free at the opening of a new Krispy Kreme donuts!

The entire column is available here: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8382

 
 

Not sure if this is good news or not, but Mr. Godwin himself has repealed Godwin’s Law..

 
 

In fact Capaldi DID win an Oscar for a short film long long before either Malcolm Tucker or the multi-hearted snog-box jockey gig.

Damn that EO meme is one sweet own goal, eh?

Addressing Congress that fast usually indicates a flaming city in ruins or an incoming CAT-5 shitstorm of flooding & kinetic pwnage … making putrid cranial smegma parse better has precisely zero positive effect on either its import or its content (ooh, FULL SENTENCES, & hey, better VOICE than VOLK, amirite?) & the scene with that poor pimped-out widow was the sort of casually cynical tableau that screams Sick Fuck, one I suspect made more than a few MAGA-Vets into instant Independants. Little wonder the mysteriously uptight & upset redcap cadres of the triumphant Window-Taste-Testing Demographic thought it was “I Have A Dream 2.0” – morbids gotta morbid.

 
 

Wait, which one of those things at the end did Donald Trump not do?

 
 
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