“Greastest”? Is that like the best ever, but with grease?

brad, how many times have i told you? the fact you were entertained by a film after consuming massive amounts of cheap beer does not make that movie “great”.

I never saw Dolomite. I watched the clip and was reminded of the scene in the 1980 Meatloaf vehicle “Roadie”, one of the great movies of our time, where the cops in the laundramat end up with the Tide instead of the cocaine and one of ’em does a great big line off the top of one of the washers. Brad, if you haven’t seen Roadie, you gotta…

mikey

AJ- Unlike the time Matt and I watched GLITTER and TEMPTATION ISLAND wasted, which admittedly was a pure product of our intoxication, DOLEMITE is legitimately an awesome movie. I watched it the first time in high school, before I’d even DRANK beer!

(…I was high, though…)

mikey- I just watched THE MACK. Ever see that? CLASSIC pimp movie.

I liked Mad Tv’s Dolemite.

They were always after his Pimp Cane…

You guys are going to have Ann Bartow on your case.

Can you dig it?

Awesome. I especially like the guest appearance from the boom mic forty-two seconds in.

Do you people think much of the fact that your country tortures people, or do you only think of it when the news cycle gets boring?

Or better yet, have you all decided that torturing people, in flagrant violation of your own much-vaunted Constitution, not to mention International Law, is as absurd…oh, I don’t know…actually morality?

The fact that none of you miscreants has even thought about rioting condemns you all. American progressives are weak and useless.

…sorry. Continue with the laff-fest.

I am pleased to report that I, for one, did *not* forget about the white ones.

And in the interest of equal opportunity blaxploitation appreciation—Pam Grier is Sheba Baby.

There’s a lot more where this one comes from, Mal de Mer. All night long.

I know nothing of this Dolemite of whom you speak. However, six years ago I was driving a rented car through the Dolomites and was met on a hairpin curve by a fuckoff huge double-decker RV of a tour bus and the Italian driver went all Willis and Stallone on me, the end result being me backing up the side of a damn mountain.

Irrelevant? Oh, OK. Moving on.

Shorter Maladjusted: I think I’ll pretend the last dozen or so threads demonstrating everyone’s indignation and fighting spirit don’t exist and instead bitch and whine about people having some fun so as to avoid total despair.

I’ve never heard of this! I must see this!

What’s John Saxon’s role in it?

Brad, I’m a fan of bad movies, but come on, The Mack was on the level of bad beyond the it’s so bad it’s hilarious and well into it’s so bad… stop… please… stop… The funny bits took up about 1:31 and left me in a extremely pained state for at least another hour.

Although a really great non-pimp related bad movie was called Jack Frost (and not the one with Michael Keaton). A murderous snowman on a rampage. You really cannot beat it.

That may be the greatest scene in motion picture history, but this one gets 14th, at least

And this one is the modern equivalent to the hunters killing Bambi’s mother.

Until one you head-butts that fat pig, Rush Limbaugh in the head (which is the way progressives deal with our fascists in the rest of the developed world) I’ll take your snively litte whine under advisement.

…sheesh. How did smart, funny people become so powerless in the US? Can anyone explain that?

I always hated how no one ever died in Transformers. LIke, jesus, some pussy-ass war. You all can’t hit each other with your laz0r guns, much less kill any one; no WONDER you’ve been fighting for thousands of years.
“Okay, everyone! Let’s all climb into this guy’s chest cavity and we’ll be on our way!”

Mal’s right. I’m going to go get me my gasmask and red armband, and burn some store fronts and shoot me a copper! That’ll learn Bush!

…sorry. Continue with the laff-fest.

Gee, thanks, asshole. I think we will.

Oh, Mal? One more thing…

Fuck you, your family, your dog, and oh yeah. Fuck you….

mikey

I think there’s an easier solution to all this.

Instead of getting pissed and all that jibber jabber, I propose that:
Mal organize and participate in a co-ordinated attack and burning of the US Embassy in the country of his choosing. Nothing third world.
After the completion of this show of sincerity and belief in his own preachings, then we all shall, locally, burn some shit down and raise all kinds of hell. Points for any photographs that get published in international news, bonus points if it’s a TIME front cover.

In other news, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mczAuwGN14k for the pwnag3

Fuck you, your family, your dog, and oh yeah. Fuck you….

Sober up, asshole.

Anyway, your high-yellah Secretary of State Condi Rice has refused to apologise for the redition and tortune of Maher Arar. And this, after we sent our our rather hunky Foreign Affairs Minister, Peter MacKay, to shag her rotten.

…Honeslty, you Americans take everyone for granted. I hope North Korea bombs the hell out you soon. You all deserve to die.

Toodles.

I figure with the state of the world it’s in, you have to laugh. Mal, I’m sorry, I can’t blame people for wanting comic relief from living in George Bush’s America. Believe me, if I had to listen to a fundie tell me how I was going straight to hell every day because I don’t worship Jesus/Bush in the correct manner, I’d need a laugh or two (or fifty). And since the western world is complicit with Bush, when have you rioted exactly? Did it do any good, because as far as I can tell, Bush still is President.

Sorry, Some Guy, but I think I got you beat

Ok, know what? I’m not gonna play with mal anymore. He just hijacks the thread and gets his little canadian dick all hard stirring up shit, and I don’t need to be contributing to that kind of behavior. So as my little way of saying adios, amigo to mal de mer I’d just like to say: Hey Mal. I’m really starting to enjoy your suffering. I hope it just gets worse for you. Maybe you can keep us posted on all the bad things that happen to you and your family, ’cause y’know what? They kinda put a smile on my face, and a smiles just a frown, turned upside down, and your pain is a joy to behold…

mikey

Ok, know what? I’m not gonna play with mal anymore. He just hijacks the thread and gets his little canadian dick all hard stirring up shit…

Hijacking threads? Lil’ ole me? C’mon. What about Gary Ruppert?

You’re just bugged because you know I hate Americans. And I do…I really, really do.

You are the dumbest people in the world. Deal with it.

Bah. Hanna Barbera shouldn’t be allowed to play in the same league.

There’s a few good fan-made Ghostbusters 3 trailors out there, but I doubt that project’s ever going to really go anywhere. They seem to be taking a more serious approach to the franchise, and I’d vote yes on that.

Dumbest people in the world.
And yet, we own the damn place.
So what does that make you all?

Condoleezza Rice ain’t high yellow. Harold Ford, Jr. is high yellow.

>And yet, we own the damn place.
So what does that make you all?

See? Call ’em dumb, and they insist they “own” the whole place.

…sweeties…Don’t you listen you listen to yourselves anymore? Or does North Korea have to incinerate San Francisco for you to *get it*?

You didn’t answer my question, snoogle-pups.
And no, I’m not spending my time googling up example after example of why we own this place.

And I still await your input on my plan. These molotovs don’t keep forever, ya know.

OMGF…I’ve insulted teh Americans…Oh, please,whatever you do, don’t render and torture our citizens!!

…!!!

This is boring. Mal is an idiot. Hey Mal, how many relatives ya got left? Just checkin, kitty….

mikey

Well, fuck, there goes MY weekend. Jeez. What the hell am I going to do with the tickets to Toronto now? Can’t believe I went for first class…

Sorry Some Guy, Filmation Ghost Busters is teh awesome. I have childhood memories of going “Oh good, Ghostbusters is on” when looking at the telivisor guide, changing the channel and going “What the hell is a monkey doing driving a car.” To this day, I remain the shattered individual standing before you.

Dolemite? Is that anything like vegemite?

You are the dumbest people in the world
Last time I looked, there was some serious competition for that title.

Oh, hey, i was waiting for my game to load, and came up with a logic train to submit upon Mssr. de Mar.

If we didn’t own this place (and, as I have stated earlier in this site, why the hell DO we?) why did no one not only not put up any serious oposition to Iraq, but several countries (including, I believe, Canada, but I may be wrong on that) support and aide it?
I’m just sayin. Y’all get your shit together, we’re more then ripe for a usurping. Hop to it. Do something besides whine and bitch about how US citizens aren’t rioting for you.
If you want some inspiration, try War of 1812 by Arrogant Worms. It’s not, per se, accurate, but should be a good rabble rouser.

Ohhhhh-hohoho, His Grace, guess what I just pulled up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4hZmKj-CiM
Booyah! What, what?!

XD I hate that monkey. He’s an embaressment to film/TV monkeys everywhere.

This is boring. Mal is an idiot. Hey Mal, how many relatives ya got left? Just checkin, kitty….

Huh? Are you having a flashback to My Lai, or something….

Dolemite, vegemite, catamite – whatever.

Mal, I guess I have to agree. Us Americans are stoopid and mean and arrogant and suffer (often simultaneously) both the heartbreak of psoriasis and the angst of erectile dysfunction. We mock our neighbors to the north and shit on our neighbors to the south. What to do?

Perhaps in the interest of hemispheral unity and brotherhood we could start providing those poor desparate people crossing into our country from Latin America with first class transportation to Canada. After all, with you Compassionate Canucks being our moral and intellectual superiors and all, you’d easily be able to integrate them into the warm embrace of a caring, sharing society.

Oh, and by the way, go fuck yourself a whole bunch.

Actually, that’s imaginary. I was still in high school in California when My Lai occured. But you’ve got family members droppin like flys in the mideast. You had the balls to say anything to the Israeli government? Didn’t think so, kitty. It’s oh so much safer to lash out at Sadly, No!. I wouldn’t fight with you from my hole, kitty. Cowards can fight from the wire…

mikey

. After all, with you Compassionate Canucks being our moral and intellectual superiors and all, you’d easily be able to integrate them into the warm embrace of a caring, sharing society.

Oh, and by the way, go fuck yourself a whole bunch.

Ah, there we go. A Canadian suggests illegal (and failed) invasions by the US aren’t exactly admirable and said Canadian complains about the rendition and torture of one of his fellow citizens…

…and some bitch dumbass American takes it personally. You really are the most juvenile (and immoral) people in the entire world.

My Mom and Dad are big Rudy Ray Moore fans. As I have become an adult, I now realize that many things that I thought were common, vernacular sayings are actually lines from Rudy Ray Moore records or movies. For instance:

“Rat-soup-eatin'”
“Could make a maggot gag”
“A whole lot of potatoes”
“No-business-born”

Dammit Some Guy, I don’t know how to respond to Police Squad… Unless it’s with this:

Ah, there we go. A Canadian suggests illegal (and failed) invasions by the US aren’t exactly admirable and said Canadian complains about the rendition and torture of one of his fellow citizens…

Oh, please. A Canadian who hasn’t contributed anything but bile to the conversation in months tells Americans “You all deserve to die”, and he isn’t met with open arms. Shocking.

Seriously dude, get some poutine and a six pack of Labatt’s and rejoin us when you’re a little less cranky.

…Damn. I don’t think I can beat that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-feLDOpJfYg
Damn fucking right. And I’m waving my nine galloon hat the ENTIRE WAY DOWN!! Yeeeehaaaww!!

Oh, please. A Canadian who hasn’t contributed anything but bile to the conversation in months tells Americans “You all deserve to die�, and he isn’t met with open arms. Shocking.

Oh…how rude. You render and torture a fellow Canadian, and you think I’m not contributing to your retarded public discourse? Ah…ha hahahah. You’re morons…all of you. Seriously. Get help.

Seriously dude, get some poutine and a six pack of Labatt’s and rejoin us when you’re a little less cranky.

You forgot to mention “aboot.”

Ahem:

Pou…teen? I know not of what you speak. My hangover cure is usually Chateaubriand en croûte and a glass of merlot.

Posted by: Mal de mer | April 17, 2006 09:17 PM

Or maybe you’re most of the way through a Bubba and forgot that you might have posted on poutine before.

You know, Mal, this unhinged fuck-the-whole-lot of them idiocy that you’re engaging in is more of a right wing response. Kinda one of the big problems with our foreign policy approach if you ask me. Lacks, y’know, nuance. But yeah, we’re the morons. Mmm hmm.

So much Canadian hate…

You hozers, take off eh! The Great White North rocks eh!

Hey hoser, push off, eh? Or as we say in America, “Don’t point that thing at me.”

Sadly, No! is 180 degrees backwards the wrong place to be looking for Bush defenders to slag, yah dumb boozer. It’s like you staggering into East L.A. yelling, “Die, yuppie scum!” Noble sentiment, but head shakes all around. Try Li’l Green Fascists, maybe.

Now, we were having our own conversation here. Don’t make me shoot yo’ ass.

Damn Some Guy, argh.. I am in pain Truly… I have lost. For shame.

Unless…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW5dT0hxrPk

You may have your naked Japanese Singing, but I have monkeys fighting robots.

And a great fight scene eh? Take hockey eh!

You know, Mal, this unhinged fuck-the-whole-lot of them idiocy that you’re engaging in is more of a right wing response.

No, it isn’t. This isn’t a political response at all. I’m pissed off that you obviously don’t think Canadian citizenship means anything at all; that you rendered and tortured one our co-nationals and that your stupid lying pig of a Secretary of State refused to apologise this after a former complaint from the Canadian Government.

Who the fuck do you think you people are, exactly?

And how about this for a cheesy fight scene?

Thanks for proving my point, Mal. Who is this you of which you speak? I haven’t rendered shit. You lumping all Americans (or in your earlier fucktardedness, Jews) together isn’t any different from the LGF asshats who think all Moo-slims (or Iraqis, or Lebanese, etc) are the same and are all responsible for whatever some asshole does in their country/name.

Who the fuck do you think you people are, exactly?

We are liberals. Drunken liberals.

Drunk with inner strength, hyaaaaaaah!

Who is this you of which you speak? I haven’t rendered shit. You lumping all Americans (or in your earlier fucktardedness, Jews) together isn’t any different from the LGF asshats who think all Moo-slims (or Iraqis, or Lebanese, etc) are the same and are all responsible for whatever some asshole does in their country/name.

Oh, typical….”I’m not responsible for my country’s atrocities.”

Well, what can you expect from a country that had slavery for 300 years, apartheid for 100 years, and in which most people (despite all the whining) can’t even be bothered to vote.

Mark – I’m a fan of this one:

But then, I’m a goalie.

Mal – your logic is flawless. Not only am I responsible for that whole rendition thing, but slavery was also totally my bad. My humblest apologies. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Hey Mal. How many aunts, uncles and cousins we down to? Maybe we should get together and do an excel spreadsheet or something. “Now here’s me aunt ethyl, she’s a real firecracker, one time she…Oooppsss, F16 and all that, ethyls no longer with us. Lemme tell you about Miriam, she was a real *BOOM*. OPpppssss..

Better take roll, kitty…

mikey

Mal: The Canadian O’Reilly, eh?

Actually, a quick check
http://www.elections.ca/scripts/resval/ovr_2004.asp?prov=&lang=e
shows that Canadian electorial participation has been slowly declining over the years (1993-2004) and now averages somewhere in the mid-upper 50% Which is about where US participation is, as well.
That taste? Yeah, that would be your foot.

Arpatheid, eh? Of who?

And, seriously, have you even SEEN a European history book, much less read one? Or Asian? Jesus. You’d think we invented this shit, the way you put it.

Good grief, what’s going on here?

Don’t make me go get Seb for some Quebecois mediation. He gets angry when us kids make him get out of his chair.

Watch this and chill, yo.

I personally wish to apologize to Mal for the genocide perpetrated on the Native Americans; even though I am French Canadian and Native American by heritage, and my family was living in Quebec during the worst of it, I still harbor a lingering guilt that if I had just done more, or cared more, or if I had somehow prevented my great grandparents from moving to the USA, or if, when they got here, I had somehow gotten them to overthrow the US government at the time, it wouldn’t have happened. Of course, I know that’s all crap; but I thought I’d just apologize and feel guilty, because you know me, I’m just another American conformist, going with the flow.

Seriously, Mal. WTF? I’m all ramped up on IV steroids for a slight medical problem and trying to keep myself from committing felicide on my own beloved pets, or dragging my IV to my next door neighbor’s apartment and strangling him because he can’t stop coughing, the poor old geezer, and I’m not being anywhere near as assholish as you are.

I second the recommendation to Little Green Fascists, btw. Just repeat that ‘high yellah’ line about Condi Rice (I don’t think that’s how you spell it, and I don’t think it’s true, anyway, but what do you care, right?) and they will be your best friends forever. Only I agree, they will love you lots more if you say it about Harold Ford instead of Condi.

Oh, but wait. Then you’ll be throwing your lot in with the sort of person who is actually responsible for the behavior you find so reprehensible. As opposed to the people here, who are well, not.

Wow, that’s a really tough dilemma. Stay here, and continue being an asshole, or go there, and be with assholes.

I’m just gonna be on pins and needles (well, I’m really just flattering you here, I feel like I’m on pins and needles all the time, haha) until I see what you decide, Mal.

Hehehe, I remember when we got board in French class, so our teacher congergated the verb “to suck” en francais.
Quebec needs to import some good curses. I’m thinking Ireland and Germany.

Hey now ! The part of the United States that I’m from wasn’t a state until after the Civil war so fuck you when you lump me in with rest of the slave lovers of Colonial America. I’d imagine as a subject of the British Empire you cringe everytime somebody brings up the West Indies?

Hey, mal, remember asking this?

How did smart, funny people become so powerless in the US?

It was about 40 minutes before you said this:

You are the dumbest people in the world.

Try for a little internal consistency. If you really believe that those of us posting on Sadly, No! are actual Bush appeasers, then you must realize that there’s no hope of convincing us to become good or smart people. If on the other hand your first post was closer to what you’re really thinking, then read the fucking papers, man. We became powerless when our government decided to throw out the constitution, and we’ve been protesting since before it happened. If you’re advocating actual assassination or something, then do it yourself, pal, because we’re busy trying to change government in a legal way.

French people cuss by saying things like, CHALICE TABERNACLE TONIGHT! Very gay, and blashpemous when you think about it, which is why I’m sure those Godless sinners say it.

Very funny clip, Brad. I laughed.

That boom mic has the third most onscreen minutes in the film. I didn’t like Dolimite too much. I havn’t seen Disco Godfather or Human Tornado, so I’ll withhold judgement of Rudy Ray Moore’s place in the directorial pantheon.

I would like to thank Some Guy.

YATTA!!!

Teh awesome-estest.

It does give one pause when thinking up Halloweeen costumes.
See if you can’t get the cops to do the dance with you before they take you back to the station…

Try for a little internal consistency. If you really believe that those of us posting on Sadly, No! are actual Bush appeasers, then you must realize that there’s no hope of convincing us to become good or smart people. If on the other hand your first post was closer to what you’re really thinking, then re….

WOULD YOU FUCKING SHUT UP, YOU MORONS. Your Secretary of State refused, today, to apologise for rendering and torturing a Canadian citizen.

What the fuck’s wrong with you people?

Your Secretary of State refused, today, to apologise for rendering and torturing a Canadian citizen.

Am I the only one who’s thinking of “Die Hard?”

“Welcome to the party, pal.”

Rice is not an elected official. Even by your bin Laden-esque mass-fault logic system, you can’t blame everyone for that.
We don’t like them ether, man.

Well, I for one do like that ether. But I don’t like them.

I’m pissed off that you obviously don’t think Canadian citizenship means anything at all; that you rendered and tortured one our co-nationals

Does this tweak think S,N! is the website of the US State Department or something? Wow.

Anyway, this freak is too much of a pussy to come kill some of us, while proclaiming every last American should die. I guess that includes children as well, for this piece of shit. What’s the matter? Didn’t Bin Laden give you your marching orders, and pleny of examples of mass-murder techniques? Snap to it, baby doll!

Seriously Mal, what the fuck would make you think that anyone here besides Gary and Annie approves of anything Rice has ever done? What makes you think we can stop her from doing anything?

Tell you what, I, on behalf of all Americans, apologize for torturing and rendering a Canadian citizen. Although I’ve never had sex with a high ranking Canadian, I am, like Rice, not elected.

But! Rice may have actually been able to prevent this singular, most horrific crime, while nobody else here could, so an apology from us is hollow and useless. Certainly Rice should single out torturing one Canadian man as such an aweful evil to warrant an apology, unlike the slaughter of 600k+ Iraqis. Naturally, this is due to Canadians’ innate superiority over Iraqis.

So seriously Mal, what do you want us to do? Since us stoopit Americans never do anything but make funnies about shitty old movies, we’re all stoopit. Explain, step by step, how we can make everything right. You bein one of those supermen the canucks with your massive brains that would never ever assist the British Empire in committing imperialist atrocities, thus making every single one of your citizens an enlightened being of pure light (just as all Americans are shadow lizard people of darkness), I figure you know exacty what we should do.

So, yeah, if you could take a little time off from masturbating while fantasizing about Portland getting nuked, do let us know.

Do you Americans ever shut up? Seriously.

Guys, Mal is a troll.

When you talk to it at all, you feed the troll.

I know it’s hard to want to admit that, because Mal is someone whom a lot of us used to hold in some measure of esteem. But alas, it seems as though he must’ve gone out on one full-moon evening without his Troll-B-Gone on, and got himself attacked by a weretroll.

There’s no hope for him. But the rest of us can protect ourselves against a similar fate by not feeding the troll.

Please don’t feed the troll. It’s that simple.

You’re right, Jillian. Mal is a troll. A very depressing troll, since in a way he is on our side. He does bring up the good point of “could we do more?” but in a very extreme stupid way. Was every person in Germany and Austria responsible for the Nazi Regime?

Shut up! Just shut up!1 Just shut up!!

God Jillian, fuck off. You’re sickening with your, “he’s a troll” bullshit. You’re the troll, idiot.

The tone here seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Mal is en fuego, and Annie has obviously stopped taking her meds. I suggest we all go listen to “Tangled up in Blue” and eat a grilled cheese sandwich.

Trust me, it’ll work.

You are the dumbest people in the world. Deal with it.

I think…the man’s right.

Sorry, I was quoting the last line of “Say, Man” by Bo Diddley, where Jerome Green accuses Bo of being “hit with the ugly stick,” and an anonymous third person chimes in…

The fact is America is in a fucked-up state.

Just shut up!! Just shut up1!

Mal’s an act. More humor to keep our spirits up I suspect. He’s not really on par with Dolomite though.

Mal’s an act. More humor to keep our spirits up I suspect.

I’m not an act!! I really do hate America!1!

OK, now Mal’s just mailing it in. C’mon, nutso, give us some of that batshit insanity you had going upthread. You’re just not trying here…

mikey

“French Canadian and Native American by heritage, and my family was living in Quebec during the worst of it…”

Hey! Gentlewoman, maybe we’re related.* Trois-Rivieres area, perchance?

*This is like any New Yorker visiting the Midwest being greeted by “I know someone from New York!”, a name, and an expectant look.

Mal isn’t just a troll though. He’s a traitor.

If the guys don’t want us shitting in his Cheerios, then he should be banned.

I know nobody around here likes the idea of banning anyone, but in this case it’s neccessary. Mal is such an effective troll because we all remember that he was once on our side. Gary and Annie could never destroy a thread like Mal can for that very reason.

Ban the whiny bitch.

Mal seems to want us to think he’s strapped to a chair somewhere with his eyelids propped open, forced to read Sadly, No by a cadre of evil, cackling Bushtards.

Funny, but whenever *I* read a blog it’s because I’ve chosen to do so.

Oh, let me preempt Mal’s response:

“Just shut up Americans! You all invaded Canada in 1812 but I’m the bad one just for turning on my friends like the worst kind of lowlife scum?!11 God I can’t wait for the west coast to become a nuclear wasteland, since that will have no bad effects at all on Canada!”

Mal de Mer is actually a Rovian concern troll, and not a Canadian. Pass it on.

See, if he were REALLY a Canadian, he wouldn’t be such a hypocritical snot as to pooh-pooh us while Stephen Fucking HARPER rules north of the 49th parallel.

All the more reason to ban his worthless bigot ass.

Shorter Mal:
Ooh, look at me I’m Canadian, and you suck.

Oops, ‘Dolomite.’ Despite the frequent boom mica cameos, I still think it’s a gneiss movie for a Friday late-night.

I’ll watch any movie starring Greta Gabbro.

“Who the fuck do you think you people are, exactly?”

“Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains.”
– Mark Twain,”What is Man?”