Do you believe in miracles?
If not, it’s a good time to start doing so because here comes your 2-minute Townhall:
Shorter Kurt Schlichter, “Obama Is Too Incompetent To Pull Off A Coup”
Would it be irresponsible to speculate about Obama staging a coup to stay in the White House? It would be irresponsible not to.
Shorter Victor Davis Hanson, “The Dream Of Muslim Outreach Has Become A Nightmare”
It doesn’t matter what the problem is, indiscriminately bombing Muslim countries is always the solution.
Shorter Larry Elder, “Hillary Lies, Cops Die”
According to economist John Lott, just the right number of blacks are being killed by police.
Shorter Jackie Gingrich Cushman, “America’s Potential”
We should select our presidents based on what the candidate’s children think of their parent.
Shorter Veronique de Rugy, “Stop Bleeding Red Ink, Make America Sustainable Again”
Good news everyone, I’m the columnist picked this week to pretend that Republicans care about the deficit!
Shorter David Legates, “Science or Advocacy?”
Science says that many things affect our climate, which means that there’s no need to worry about the impact of human activity.
Shorter Michelle Malkin, “Who Gets Absolute Moral Authority?”
Maureen Dowd wrote some stupid shit in 2005.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg: “GOP Convention Has Become a Stomach-Churning Affair”
Everything was so much better before we had phones and cars.