Oct
23
23
Confederate Yankee: “Say Pa, Old Yeller’s Comin’ Back Soon, Ain’t He?”
Who’s stupider, Dan Riehl or Confederate Yankee?
Brown and Yellow: Great on Heidi Klum, Not So Good On Voting
Yeah, I Google-baited the snot out of that one. What of it?
Anyway, it seems that a
Heh heh. Ew. ‘Brown’ and ‘yellow.’ Wonder what kind of late-night Google searchers that will attract.
It looks like Confederate Yankee is already ahead by a few points, but let’s keep going:
Johns Hopkins/Lancet Study Demolished
Via Bryan at Hot Air, the politically-timed Johns Hopkins/Lancet study stating that more than 655,000 Iraqis have died as a result of the Iraq War has had its very suspect methodology thoroughly crushed:
And dingdingding, we have a winner.
[UPDATE: It's even worse than that.]
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
October 23, 2006 at 0:18
Who’s stupider, Confederate Yankee or Dan Riehl?
Why am I tempted to answer, “both of them?”
Kathleen said,
October 23, 2006 at 0:21
Old Yeller got sent to a farm outside of town, where he could run around.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 0:33
No, no, Gavin. You’re just being unfair. I know, for me at least, when I’m trying to understand complex mathmatical concepts like statistical demographics, Computational Fluid Dynamics or Inflational Cosmology, I turn first to Hot Air. Those people are most likely to give me clear, understandable explanations for that sort of dificult idea, and they do so in an honest, fair, well thought out manner…
mikey
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 0:37
Who let mikey up off the couch in his condition? Would somebody please put the cool cloth back on his forehead and hum him a comforting tune?
It’s OK, mikey, the hallucinations will stop once the fever breaks.
/Old-Yeller-induced ’50s movie flashback
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 0:41
Why, I wouldn’t shoot an old man in the face, much less a rabid dog, only once!
Seriously. He calls himself “Confederate Yankee.” His grip on complex and subtle is tenuos at best.
Lesley said,
October 23, 2006 at 1:50
Riehl and Yankee, brothers under one Republican, inheritors of the same mutant gene, a single blob of vile putrefaction if you will. If you were going to paint them you’d use shit brown and piss yellow.
Michael J. "Orange Mike" Lowrey said,
October 23, 2006 at 1:55
I don’t know why he uses the term “Confederate Yankee”: either “Copperhead” or “Traitor” is shorter and means the same thing.
mmm...lemonheads said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:01
Confederate Yankee?
I get it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, wait. Now I”m reading, and the guy’s a serious tool.
Carry on.
alurker said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:10
You do not know the story of Old Yeller. You are thinking of something else. The dad didn’t shoot the dog, among other things you have wrong.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:15
Did Gary change his name?
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:18
Fine. The kid shoots the dog.
Irregardless.
Don’t make me have to start breaking out the “Babe” analogies.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:28
“That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do…”
mikey
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:43
Am I the only person in the Western hemisphere who hasn’t seen “Babe”?
R said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:44
Could somebody supply a link to a rebuttal of Steven Moore’s claims to have demolished the validity of the survey- As somebody who hasn’t had to do matho homework for many years, I have no idea whether his arguments about cluster points have any obvious flaws to a statistician.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:44
Ahh, dood, yer kiddin! Just typing those words and I teared up. Hella fun movie…..
mikey
Jillian said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:45
Nope, Mort.
Never seen it.
But I’m willing to bet I’m the only one who’s never seen an episode of Friends
Pop culture wasteland? What?
Strange Forces said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:48
Smiling –
I also have never seen it.
And Jillian, while I have seen many an episode of Friends, I am proud to say that I’ve never seen an episode of 90210 or Melrose.
R said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:51
never mind- i found a rebuttal of moore here:
http://scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2006/10/les_roberts_responds_to_steven.php
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:53
OK, I can top that (I think). I have actually never heard Rush Limbaugh’s voice.
But I do intend to put “Babe” on my netflix list, since it’s got mikey all verklempt just thinking about it.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:56
Could somebody supply a link to a rebuttal of Steven Moore’s claims to have demolished the validity of the survey-
Wha???
I’m sorry, the validity of the….??
Jeez, the obscenity just gets more obscene. So now we’re going to argue about how many people died needlessly in America’s illegal, aggressive invasion and occupation of Iraq? Why? Does some kind of sick vindication live in the numbers, somehow?
If we only killed 100,000 innocents in an unnecessary and illegal war, are we to be congratulated? That would make us the “good guys”? If we killed 200,000? 300,000? What would we be then? Supporters of the war have a problem with a finding of over 500,000 innocent dead. Why is that? Why can you feel good about an undertaking that results in the death of 200,000 innocent civilians, but the same undertaking is somehow qualitatively different if the civilian death toll was twice that? What kind of moral relativism is at work in this calculation?
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:58
Could somebody supply a link to a rebuttal of Steven Moore’s claims to have demolished the validity of the survey…
Here’s a BBC Link>BBC Link, presenting both sides.
I’d just like to step in and ask people to consider the credibility of “both sides”.
There are people who said Iraq had WMD, was connected to 9/11, would greet us as liberators. And said we are bringing Democracy to the Iraqi people. And anyone who remembered recent history was an al Qaeda surrender monkey islamofascistcommieliberal. (For instance, anyone remember that Iraqi oil would pay for the reconstruction?
…HAHA! TRAITOR!
Those are the people raising doubts about the Lancet report.
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 2:59
That part where Farmer Hogget is singing and dancing is all happy and full of rainbows.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:05
Well, Some Guy, that shiny sparkly moment didn’t last long.
*sigh*
And on a related note, I suspect there’s a relevant reason that the Iraqi government, such as it is, announced this weekend that it would no longer provide any death statistics whatsoever to the UN.
Jillian said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:14
Jeez, the obscenity just gets more obscene. So now we’re going to argue about how many people died needlessly in America’s illegal, aggressive invasion and occupation of Iraq? Why? Does some kind of sick vindication live in the numbers, somehow?
On a related note…has anybody noticed how much Donald Rumsfeld physically resembles Robert McNamara nowadays? It’s creepy as fuck.
Like some sort of real life Willy Wonka, where your outsides eventually start to resemble your insides. Which, sadly enough, makes Keith Olberman an oompa loompa.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:17
Like some sort of real life Willy Wonka, where your outsides eventually start to resemble your insides. Which, sadly enough, makes Keith Olberman an oompa loompa.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m going to have to think about this for a while . . .
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:18
No one gets killed in Iraq, they just stop showing up for work or paying taxes.
Jillian said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:19
Oh, and Mort…..
I’ve never seen Seinfeld. Or Law and Order. Or NYPD Blue.
Or Surivor.
I don’t even know what all the cool kids are watching on TV anymore…all my examples are a decade out of date.
herr doktor bimler said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:22
Like some sort of real life Willy Wonka, where your outsides eventually start to resemble your insides.
That possibility, combined with irritable bowel syndrome, explains a lot about Cheney.
herr doktor bimler said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:25
I don’t even know what all the cool kids are watching on TV anymore…all my examples are a decade out of date.
The good thing about admitting one’s ignorance about pop culture is that sooner or later, someone will ask incredulously, “Where have you been for the last five years?!”
This is an opportunity for the reply: “Gutters, mainly.”
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:27
I hear “the A-Team” is pretty dope, Jillian.
Jillian said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:28
Ha!
I saw the A-Team on reruns the other day and got all excited!
I had the biggest crush on the Faceman when I was about seven.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:37
I’ve never seen Seinfeld. Or Law and Order. Or NYPD Blue.
Or Surivor.
I’ve never seen any of these. Not even once. But then, I did see the very first episode of “The Shield”. I AM a HUGE Buffy fan. And I do own the complete box set of “Sports Night”. So it’s hard to get too snooty…
mikey
Smiling Mortician said,
October 23, 2006 at 3:50
Of Jillian’s examples, I’ve only seen Seinfeld. As for Sports Night, I am also a fan. But the box set isn’t all that big, really . . .
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:08
Look at HoJo!
Kobie said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:09
The fact is the Old Yeller was shot because he knew the dirty details about Whitewater.
Oh wait, that was Vince Foster.
His Grace, the Duke of Rupert said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:27
The only show that is worth watching these days is Numb3rs people… Mathematicians solving crimes using formulas and bad analogies… What could be better than that?
Mary Jones said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:27
has anybody noticed how much Donald Rumsfeld physically resembles Robert McNamara nowadays?
Yessirree. I’m waiting to see if thirty years down the line someone does a documentary on him, where he’s still trying to justify the war. Because, y’know, history, repeat, doom, etc.
Damn it, if only the music today was better. Some things just don’t repeat.
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:29
Wasn’t Hojo the guy who created Sephiroth from Jenova?
BSG, your grace. BSG.
TomMil said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:32
I know they showed the kid shooting the dog in Old Yeller but his positioning wasn’t correct. I seem to remember the dog’s head lurching back and to the left. That’s back and to the left.
His Grace, the Duke of Rupert said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:35
Wasn’t Hojo the guy who created Sephiroth from Jenova?
Sadly, I think I know the answer to that question without referencing wikipedia… I believe it is yes.
And BSG is only good if viewed in the original corny starwars ripoff context. All this effort to make it a good science fiction series worthy of watching just sends chills up my spine.
Kathleen said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:41
I have nothing to add to this comment thread.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
October 23, 2006 at 4:45
Kathleen! You are holding out on us, non?? Saving your genius for Jesus’ General? Come on, who luvs ya!
Astrid said,
October 23, 2006 at 5:19
HG tDoR–I have to laugh because every week, scenes for that show Numbers are shot where I work.
But on a weirder, sadder note–probably due to the McNamara and Vietnam references–I just had a thought that gave me pause, and I’m sure I’m not the first to wonder this. People, the Iraq War will end someday (if not the occupation–due to US insistence on, ugh, permanent bases), and what the hell kind of war memorial will there be? At this point, I can only feel nauseated and heartbroken at the idea. Such a mass of confusion, sadness, disgust, dread–all these feelings tumbled together. Just thought I’d share. . . .
steve_e said,
October 23, 2006 at 5:22
How long does it take for a death cult to kill itself off? Will the Republican’s inbred ideology eventually turn its followers into a pile of fecal goo [obligatory allusion to brown and yellow]?
DocAmazing said,
October 23, 2006 at 5:27
The Iraq War Memorial?
Just a giant porcelain American Standard john, with small floating balls covered with the names of those service people who died there. It would flush twice a day, commemorating the sacrifice of those who bore arms and the deep concern of those who sent them.
RubDMC said,
October 23, 2006 at 6:10
I dunno about the toilet memorial – too literal.
Maybe just a deep,dark hole with the faint sound of an occassional distant splash – or ker-plunk.
I do think you nailed the sacrifice/concern ratio.
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 6:39
Oh, no, it needs to be solemn, bronze and dramatic. I offer you a line of women and children, kneeling, facing away, their hands painfully restricted behind their back with FlexiCuffs. Because if anything is to come to represent the whole sordid waste, the crime, the improper usage of a noble force for seamy, unworthy ends, it would be the flexicuff. Industrial mass-produced plastic restraints, inexpensive and useful for many people who are merely asking to be left alone…
mikey
Some Guy said,
October 23, 2006 at 6:57
Heh. We could always try to find that Saddam statue…
You know, as I read the updated link, and in particular one commentator who’s entire arguement against the survey is, “It’s a lie. They’re lying liers. Lies. All lies. Evrythign about it, lie, lie, lie. Communism!” and mentions something about wanting to see the 650,000 death certificates (which should be no problem, considering how well the government over there is functioning.) two things spring to mind.
First, it shouldn’t be that hard (tedious, though) to get a rough ballpark from adding up lexus nexus results on attacks/body dumps found.
Second, do you own damn survey, bitch.
Mr. Bath Bear said,
October 23, 2006 at 7:18
Hojo was the guy who created 100 runs a year for the Mets in the late 80s/early 90s (and threw about one ball a game into the stands behind first).
Mr. Bath Bear said,
October 23, 2006 at 7:22
OK, every other year.
Marsupial said,
October 23, 2006 at 7:58
I thought Hojo was the Polish cop on Barney Miller.
RubDMC said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:22
“…a line of women and children, kneeling, facing away, their hands painfully restricted behind their back with FlexiCuffs.”
Going for the high-concept, I see. Personally, I like it very much.
Trouble is, your design assumes that people actually give two shits about the women and children involved who are, presumably, Iraqis.
Then there’d be the endless and mind-numbing chatter about how many bronze figures should be included (are 500 enough? 5,000 too many?)
Maybe, if my pit idea is a non-starter, we could settle on some crumpled Whopper wrappers, and maybe an empty Desanti bottle or two. I hear KBR gets great margins on those and the other products it dishes out in the desert.
And then maybe someone would come along and just throw it all away.
a different brad said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:30
The Iraqi War Memorial will be a small plastic combination flower/american flag, and it will be sold at McDonald’s in HappyPatriot Meals, and separately for 1.99. This will allow patriotic secretaries/”fun” bosses/people who glue shit to hats to make the whole country a memorial to when we saved the Iraqis from having to live in the fucked up world we’re creating.
With a limited, memorial day only, camouflage flower edition also available.
stickler said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:40
You all joke about the Iraq war memorial. But we here in Oregon are way ahead of you: we’ve let a pack of wingnuts appropriate public money to start building one already.
Story here.
(Note: the boneheads at Salem-News.com f’ed up the link, which in any case leads to a dead site. I’ve heard that the memorial is going to be horrendous, Toby Keith-style. Only NPR radio reports, though, to prove that.)
stickler said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:42
Yeah, here’s the money graf.
The design consists of an oval pool with constantly moving water. It is lined with a stainless-steel map of the world and an 8-foot bronze figure of a soldier down on one knee over the United States, with an arm outstretched.
Very classy.
Kathleen said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:54
It is lined with a stainless-steel map of the world and an 8-foot bronze figure of a soldier down on one knee over the United States, with an arm outstretched and his middle finger turned upward, in the direction of the Middle East.
Kathleen said,
October 23, 2006 at 8:55
and his back to North Korea, naturally.
RubDMC said,
October 23, 2006 at 9:15
“The design consists of an oval pool with constantly moving water. It is lined with a stainless-steel map of the world and an 8-foot bronze figure of a soldier down on one knee over the United States, with an arm outstretched.”
Is the arm holding on to a post, and is the soldier vomiting?
I’d like to learn what Maya Lin has to say about that one – lady knows her memorials, though I hear she hates to be thought of in only that way.
Marq said,
October 23, 2006 at 9:39
Hey, Jillian, if you liked Dirk Benedict (and who didn’t, back in the day?), there was a crappy TV movie he did that you just gots to check out: SSSSSSS . Low=rent mad scientist Strother Martin is hellbent on turning a man into a giant snake. Unfortunately for Dirk, he’s teh man. Of course, the main reason to watch it, other than the cheesy makeup effects, is that Dirk spends a substantial amount of time semi-naked. And he was pretty tasty back then. So, not a “good” movie, but a “good-bad” movie.
Hoosier X said,
October 23, 2006 at 9:56
Aside from warching reruns of The Simpsons and Are You Being Served?, I only watch two shows regularly:
The Daily Show (which I watch in the afternoon before going to my job as a copy editor at an evil right-wing newspaper)
Drawn Together
Jillian said,
October 23, 2006 at 10:26
Ooh, Marq, I’ve seen that!
I loves me some baaaaaad science fiction films, and that is truly a classic. Right up there with Night of the Lepus.
Marq said,
October 23, 2006 at 11:49
BTW, everybody, the #1 return for a Google search for shrieking harpy is a couple of Sadly, No! posts which use that phrase in the title. Pammy’s blog comes in at #2, so everybody keep linking using the phrase shrieking harpy!
herr doktor bimler said,
October 23, 2006 at 13:13
The Iraq War Memorial? An image did flash into my mind, of vast numbers of worn-out keyboards set into a huge monolith of perspex, to highlight the personal sacrifices made by the Keyboard Commandoes. But then the thought of rather large excess-mortality figures shamed me into silence.
Woodrowfan said,
October 23, 2006 at 14:01
The Iraq War Memorial: A pile of the skulls of the people who started it
DUDACKATTACK!!! said,
October 23, 2006 at 15:32
“Who’s stupider, Confederate Yankee or Dan Riehl?”
That sentence is plainly an insult to stupid.
Dan Someone said,
October 23, 2006 at 17:15
Does anybody else pronounce “Numb3rs” as “Numbthreers,” or is that just in my house?
And a different brad’s proposal for the Iraq War Memorial puts me in mind of one of “Godhopping” by Dogs Die In Hot Cars*, the lyrics of which begin:
Oh, you’ll find so many people like to smile a lot
Smile because they’re having so much fun
Even when they know they’re not
They’ll wear some funny little hat and they’ll feel good
They’ll feel good ’cause a hat is silly
And silly means that their time is good.
*A Scottish band, very reminiscent of early XTC. I’m loving their stuff.
MCH said,
October 23, 2006 at 17:40
OT, but up the local alley: Another installment in the John Spencer Lose Explosion—Hillary used to be ugly.
“‘You ever see a picture of her back then? Whew,’ said John Spencer of Clinton’s younger days.”
Gary Ruppert said,
October 23, 2006 at 17:46
The fact is that these elections are going to be very turbulant.
Democrats will be shown as winning back the House and Senate, but it’ll be though the obvious fraud. Then those elections will be invalidated, and the Democrats will take to the streets to riot and try to steal the elections, but they will fail.
The fact is that the Republicans will win these elections.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
October 23, 2006 at 18:23
the Democrats will take to the streets to riot and try to steal the elections, but they will fail.
Damn, Gary. Taking to the streets and rioting worked for the GOP in Florida 2000, so why shouldn’t it work for the Dems?
mikey said,
October 23, 2006 at 18:26
Gary? Is that really you? Sounds like a lot of backpeddaling and ass-covering. Why, just a couple days ago you were predicting a Republican victory outright. Now you’re predicting a Democratic victory, but through fraud! What will it be tomorrow? Will you be encouraging more Republican congresscritters to get it on with teenage boys? I’m a little disappointed in you, young man…
mikey
Ted said,
October 23, 2006 at 19:09
The fact is that the Republicans will win these elections.
You’re going to come back here after the elections doing your best Baghdad Bob impersonation so we can quote you on all of this stuff to make you look like a retard, right?
tigrismus said,
October 23, 2006 at 19:37
Gary, did you see today’s Mallard Fillmore? He’s talking to you, sugar buns.
And to himself as well, because like you he’s also never been right about anything. It’s kind of tragic, actually.
Tim said,
October 23, 2006 at 20:14
Night of The Lepus. good call but:
Don’t make me bring up Plan Nine From Outer Space
HemlockEcho said,
October 23, 2006 at 20:15
Just want to throw this out there for the record, even if it is slightly off topic: if the US government were actually trying to keep acurate records of how many civilians were killed in the war, you wouldn’t have to rely on underfunded, under-supported scientists coming up with ranges like “between 8,000 and 198,000″ and there would be no debate about cluster sizes or demographics. And you wouldn’t have a president who has no idea (or seemingly interest) how many human beings were killed in a war that he started. i’m pretty sure when the Huns sacked Rome, they probably kept better casualty records that the US is keeping about Iraq.
So, any time some right-winger tries to discredit the Lancet study, just ask them why we are relying on medical journals to count our dead for us.
Just sayin’.
Skirting Godwin said,
October 23, 2006 at 21:03
There was a leader some sixty-odd years ago who went forth across the countryside in conveyances with curtained-off windows so as not to witness any of the destruction he had brought upon his beloved father… er, homeland. The records also show that this leader was very much a stay-the-course kind of guy.
Ugh said,
October 23, 2006 at 22:28
Confederate Yankee – I believe the proper term is “Treason In Defense of Slavery Yankee.”
a different brad said,
October 23, 2006 at 23:14
The fact of the matter, Gary, is that winning by margins too big for Diebold to manipulate without being noticed is not election fraud.
There remains something unsettling about Bush’s calm, tho. Reminds me too much of election night in 00, and how the Bush camp never seemed to believe that Gore won Florida.
Miss Emily said,
October 24, 2006 at 0:26
Which one of those guys is stupider? ConfederateYankee is gonna be tough to beat. In a post containing a mere half -dozen of his own sentences, he’s managed to come up with this gem:
Were these letters sent out to kindly remind Orange County voters not to break the law, or were they sent out to intimidate voters? I’d guess “yes,”
I’ll never know what Riehl had to say ’cause you can’t make me read his puffing & honking. Ever again! From now on when I want to hear what a clueless, amoral shit-sack has to say I’ll…Well, talk about a target-rich environment.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 24, 2006 at 0:51
Miss Emily, I had the same reaction to that stupid “I’d guess yes” thing. Actually, I had a similar reaction to the entire question of who’s stupider. It reminded me of that weird not-quite-joke that my dad and others of his generation used to offer when I was a kid: Which is farther, to Detroit or by bus?
Robert Green said,
October 24, 2006 at 1:26
Iraq War Memorial.
they’ve built it. It’s in Houston. It looks like this.
http://local.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=1401+McKinney,+Houston,+TX&ie=UTF8&z=15&ll=29.756517,-95.361328&spn=0.015499,0.041027&t=k&om=1
it’s called Halliburton Corporate HQ. it’s really nice. marble (italian), nice wood paneling, some terrific views. also, i’m guessing here, giant pallets of gold bullion stashed in the basement.
and as for tv, if you aren’t watching adult swim on Cartoon network, you are missing the best writing on tv. last night was wall to wall genius, particularly “metalpocalypse”.
Gentlewoman said,
October 24, 2006 at 1:54
Who’s stupider? Confederate Yankee or Dan Riehl? Is this a trick question? I think they’re both demented fuckwits, but CY has the edge in nastiness and cruelty. Riehl is more on the delusional side of stupidity, IMO. So, I suppose it’s a tossup. Stupid and cruel, or stupid and crazy.
I’d still cross the street if I saw either one of them walking toward me, needless to say.
Gary Ruppert have you found a therapist yet? Don’t wait till November, you need the help now. Because you are a loony. Do you like being a loony? Wouldn’t you rather learn to act more like sane people, leave your Mom’s basement occasionally, and have friends and stuff? Get some help before it’s too late and they bin you.
Miss Emily said,
October 24, 2006 at 6:18
“Which is farther, to Detroit or by bus?”
Ok, maybe it’s not a real joke, but it still made me laugh at the end of a long, crabby day. Thanks.
logopetria said,
October 24, 2006 at 13:20
How about this for an Iraq War Memorial: US soldiers pulling down an enormous statue of Saddam, oblivious to the fact that there are thousands of tiny Iraqi figures standing in its shadow about to be crushed.