And Canada, the country that used to be your ally and joined you in Vietnam.

aka “B Moe-tard”

I believe the term is “r-tard”.

To be fair, masturbation would probably be a better use of his time.

That’s why they love him. “He’s a simple guy, just like me. Sometimes he don’t talk right, but I know he’s a straight shooter.� The stupider he appears to be, the more the rubes lap it up. Mix in a little phony tough-guy posturing and a fake Texas accent and you’ve got a moron’s Dream President. We are living in the decade of American Stupidity. Who is the most ubiquitous celebrity in America? Paris Hilton. Case closed.

I also learned after the G-8 summit that apparantly I’m an elitest prick because I know not to talk and keep my mouth closed while eating.

I’m hoping for an “Episode VI” of War of the Words called “Dealing with Soul-Crushing Reality,” but I’m not holding my breath.

He sprained his wrist opening up a bag of Cheetos.

He knows suffering.

Ya know, they don’t think that either Max Cleland or Tammy Duckworth bled enough, so …

And rightly so, since the Swiftees leveled a bunch of BS charges against Kerry (i.e., he won a Purple Heart by shooting himself) that were easily debunked.

On the other hand, here’s a list of people that the wingnutosphere has labeled leftist appeaseniks who want to undermine the President and America in the war on terror:

-Anthony Zinni
-Richard Clarke
-Andrew Sullivan
-George Will
-General Batiste
-Any general who doesn’t like Rumsfeld
-The CIA
-The State Department

And now, of course, the chief of the UK’s army.

And I haven’t even begun to make a list of people whom the warbloggers dislike in general:

-Mexicans
-Europeans
-Arabs
-Gays
-The Media
-The Gay European Media

In other words, everyone.

Yeah because every vietnam veteran accused Kerry of not getting shot enough. Strangely it was only a very few number of vietnam veterans, none of which had spoken up until Kerry decided to run for president when they suddenly decided that the 35 year old historical record was wrong. Fancy us for being suspicious of people who claimed that John Kerry simply didn’t bleed enough for the country.

IF that had happened. . . which it didn’t.

You mean like how, if almost everyone who ever served with Kerry came out against him, but the campaign was financed by Rethuglicans, the left would blow it off to the point that being Swift-boated became a dismissive verb?

Please. That dude crossed that border 50 years ago.

Except, perhaps, not being fundamentalistically crazy enough. Looks like Coach Dave has finally given up on getting a theocracy from those GOP spaghetti pushers. (via slacktivist)

(What are the chances that these tags will work properly?)

That’s why they love him. “He’s a simple guy, just like me. Sometimes he don’t talk right, but I know he’s a straight shooter.” The stupider he appears to be, the more the rubes lap it up. Mix in a little phony tough-guy posturing and a fake Texas accent and you’ve got a moron’s Dream President. We are living in the decade of American Stupidity. Who is the most ubiquitous celebrity in America? Paris Hilton. Case closed.

I saw an expose on 20/20 a few years ago about Benny Hinn. It was the standard kind of piece showing how Benny lives a life of luxury and how he bilks his followers of their cash. At first, I thought, “Wow, what an evil bastard. Fuck that guy.” Then I started thinking about it. Dude is GETTING OVER. The idiots that send “tithes” to Benny Hinn don’t deserve to keep their money. In fact, that money is much better off in Benny’s greasy little hands. He gets his Gulfstream G-5′s, baller-ass cars and posh vacays in Monaco, and they get… well, nothing. But at least that bread isn’t going to the Republican party.

So you go, Benny! I almost admire him in a way.