Oi, What a Mess

So apparently one of the shapeless horrors we call interns (because exploiting the young for free labor is a practice we feel is wasted on the vulture capitalists of the world) thought that the bionic hamster breeding room needed a bit of spring cleaning and now the site is a wee bit epically fubared up at the moment as you may have noticed by the nesting comments, emo wordpress default theme, and the chilling sensation running down your spine whenever you try and scroll.

So where we are right now is kind of slammed out of most of the tools we use to do our snarking jobs here, leaving us with the unenviable position of needing to put up a throwaway post just to test which tools we still have access to all while being haunted with the possibility that this post could disappear into the aether that spawned it the moment the eldritch gears start cranking the Hamsterinator 3000 back to life.

Which means there has never been a better time for SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION THEATRE!

Yes, indeedy, one of the few recent good things that has fallen in my lap in the last month is that I’m in a book. Specifically, this book.

It’s called “Letters For My Sisters” and is an anthology of trans* missives written to ourselves back in time. My entry, “Why You’ll Fight” naturally includes at least one time travel paradox joke for those into that sort of thing.

With this, my entrance into the secret trans* cabal that rules the world is at least 3.1% closer.

So yeah, consider this an open thread as I see how much of this got through.

 

Comments: 252

Leave a reply »

 
 
 

I’m all alone and scared!

 
 

This must be space. Noone can hear me screaming.

 
 

No, it must be Greenwich. The timestamp is eight hours off of California time.

 
 

Have you ruled out the possibility that you have no mouth?

 
 

Congrats on the book, condolences on the blog.

Can our hearts stand the horror of nested pun threads?

 
 

The nested threads don’t really bother me and the site’s been relatively troll free.

I’d say it’s a wash.

 
 

I am sad about the background. Makes me want to write crappy poetry.
Which is fortunate in a way since I am incapable of writing any other kind.

 
 

I like the nested comments. Now I want images.

 
 

The REAL question here is: what kind of horrific Trans-Cabal NWO Conspiracy terrorism is afoot on Amazon (!!!) that involves toy helicopters & muffin-top baking cups?!?

Be afraid, RealAmerica. Be VERY afraid.

 
 

I like the nested comments. Now I want images.

Let’s not be greedy now.

 
 

Even my Livejournal theme had cleaner lines than this horrible monstrosity we’re stuck inside. Seeing as I think I customized my own css stylesheet when I was literally a clinically depressed adolescent, that’s pretty damning.

 
 

Seconded.

 
 

Yes, because…

♪I left my heart in San… Fran… cisco…♫

Last I heard it got gay married to a very nice liver.

 
 

But what about kittehs saying funny stuff?

Everything I do, I do it for YOU.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

What the fuck atre you doing with or to Peter Noone?/

 
 

“Blame the interns?”

 
 

meh…i’m not a fan of the nesting so far…i just know i’m missing out on some good commentary…

congrats on the book, cerb!

 
 

It figures that the one time I get a heartfelt declaration of exclusive love and fealty, the small print reads that it entitles me to infinite cat pics.

 
 

Unpaid blogger blames unpaid intern. Is that punching up or punching down?

 
 

I hear they are very happy together. It was a liver, not a fighter.

*throws gauntlet recklessly*

 
 

being troll-free has been pretty awesome…but i still hate the nested comments…

 
 

It’s the thought that counts, see?

 
 

Do you have the stomach for this?

 
 

I intend to relegate your puns to the appendix.

 
 

Oooh, the gall! I can continue in this vein forever. We’ll have you lymphing out of here in no time.

 
 

aren’t you gland you asked for the puns?

 
 

Bile show you! You’re nothing but a bladdering idiot.

 
 

Eye have the stomach for it, but I’m not sure eye have the heart. Though I’m foaming at the mouth to give it a try. Aorta get a pun in here somewhere.

 
 

Rectum? Damned near killed him!

 
 

These knee-jerk responses are a bit brainless. It’s no sinus to admit you’ve gut a problem on your hands, but this kind of knee-jerk response is a bit brainless. You might want to quit while you’re a head.

 
 

[Dammit, double brainless fail, I thought I took that out. I want my edit button back.]

Continuing directly:

Butts.

 
 

[Struggles, but remains firmly trapped in the filter]

 
 

Struggling just makes the straps get tighter.

 
 

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

 
 

That’s awesome. He didn’t just bitch at the guy, he did something about it.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Ranks right up there with Lisa Lampanelli and Westboro Baptist.

Comedy’s Lovable Queen of Mean Lisa Lampanelli made good on her promise to donate $1,000 to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis for every Westboro Baptist Church member who showed up to protest her recent stand-up show in Topeka, taking to Twitter after the show to say “Thanks to these a-holes, $44,000 will be donated to the GMHC!!!”

She later bumped it up by $6k, tweeting “WBC inbreds counted 48 protesters, so I won’t quibble. I’ll make it an even $50,000!!!”

Best part? The donation will be made in the hate group’s name. Thanks WBC!

 
 

This thread has a disturbing lack of PENIS.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I TRIED to slip some PENIS in the last thread but NOOOOOOOO!

*storming off in a huff*

 
 

How does nobody stop these things before they happen???

 
Mister Mxyzptlk
 

The troll disappeared to the fifth dimension because he said these words out loud:

ELLASID KNARF.

 
 

Hi, folx!

Been busy. Eating well, losing weight, making eyes at wimmins. ;)

Shit is really, really starting to happen for me, btw. Happier than an asshole stuffed with cotton candy.
.

 
 

Endocrine see, I’m already up to my neck.

 
 

Congrats to Our Cerb ! A published author ! In a book !
Well, I’m bloody impressed. Well done, kiddo.

 
 

that is one cool dude…

 
 

i am really just going to have to bookmark this phrase…i think it could be useful in just about any circumstance…

 
 

didn’t greg brady wear that around his neck when he went surfing?

 
 

So… I was at the supermarket and I saw a package of meat labeled “pork fat” on sale for 79 cents a pound. The meat was marbled, but no fattier than pork belly (I think it was the “excess” trimmed off of country spareribs). I decided to throw together a cure composed of salt, sugar, and spices so I can make a baconesque substance. I left out the “pink salt”, having no wish to consume a bunch of nitrates.

Anybody else have any luck with home-cured meats? Pup, I’m looking at you.

 
 

Let me see if I have a Chrome problem or a FYWP problem.
.

 
 

Sounds like you’re making Lardo.

 
 

prevailing wisdom says that odds are its a FYWP problem…

 
 

Thanks to whoever released my from filter purgatory.

Sorry about your intern troubles, but that’s what you get when you hire J. Goldberg’s rejects.

 
 

Musical accompaniment.

p.s. Congrats Cerb, that’s great news.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I admit to using Prague powder for most of my charcuterie. I like the color of the finished product better than the all salt version plus I don’t need to desalinate things like corned brisket. It’s only a little bit of nitrates.

 
 

Surprisingly, it’s not just handy for sexytime! It’s useful for all sorts of situations: childcare, real estate deals, in-law visits, etc.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

That article chaps my ass- the author describes the coprolite as “dinosaur poop” and then writes that it dates to the Miocene-Oligocene transitional period, which was long after the non-avian dinosaurs went extinct.

Grrrrrrr…

 
 

I bet it chapped the critter’s ass too.

 
 

Nonsense. It can’t be any more than 6000 years old, since that’s the age of the Earth.

 
 

Yeah, I noticed that as well.

 
 

FYWP & Random food question.

FYWP because it is tossing my cookies.

Random food question because I bought some bitter melons or winter melons or Satan’s warty penises or whatever they’re called and wondered if any of youns would share a recipe. Yes I see recipes on the internet, but what if they suck?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

WOOHOO! Page reloads at bottom. Though the cookie monster is still in residence so there’s a ways to go yet.

Re Satan’s warty PENIS ( Hmm. No results found for "satan's warty penis". Image search results surprisingly tame too. OF COURSE I googled it. DON’T JUDGE ME!) wouldn’t a recipe that sucked be appropriate?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I’ve never made Satan’s Warty PENIS. Serious Eats is one of the most reliably good places to menu hunt.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/07/seriously-asian-bitter-melon-stir-fry.html

 
 

I never realized there was a National Bitter Melon Council.

The more you know….

http://bittermelon.org/

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

There’s an organization for everything- do they have any good pancit recipes?

 
 

We grow bitter melon during the summer time, it grows as a vine, and the wild honeybees and carpenter bees must be pollinating them. The response to compost is true to our experience with this underrated gourd.

Bitter melon is usually used in stews like pinkabet, and it is served with the fish sauce on the side. I don’t think it’s used in pancit, although my knowledge is limited to the canton and bihon varieties of this dish.

They have bitter melon tea, which my noble spouse has been known to drink from time to time.

 
 

i am glad this thread finally has some substantial PENIS…

 
 

Man, I go away for a week and this place goes nuts.

 
 

The recipe I found was for pancit bihon with bitter melon and sardines, the blog post indicated that it was a recipe from a small village with no market, using ingredients that a small convenience store could provide.

 
 

Imagine a Reboot stomping on a human face forever…

 
 

Will I be let back in this time? Guess I should never go on vacation…

 
 

My wife comes from a different province than that recipe is from so I’m not surprised that there is a variety of pancit bihon that does use bitter melon, unlike the Ilocano varieties I’m familiar with.

 
 

Is it a “Poe’s Law” violation if your opponents are pro-Nazi?

 
 

Okay if you run out of toilet paper of course.

 
 

Boy, go away for a week and everything goes to hell.

(The poster formerly known as Nym).

 
 

I wonder if I can use my old handle?

 
 

HORROR?!?

I heart paranomasia very much – so I really aorta rag on you for calling it that.

 
 

No, that’s called, “Poe’s AHHHHHHHHH!”

 
 

Amazed. I’m amazed.

 
 

I’M amazed. Maybe.

McCartney played here in KC last week. 2 1/2 hours. I saw the set list in the paper- it would kill a lot of guys half his age.

I may have to look into this vegan crap.

 
 

FYWP because it is tossing my cookies.

It tossed my salad!

RELATED.
.

 
 

You are the cat whisperer.

 
 

Late, I know, but the Bitter Melon Council claims

Bitterness defines our humanity!

Heh indeed!

 
 

Here’s a Chinese stir-fry recipe using bitter melon.

If you want it Filipino-style, use nipa palm sap vinegar (Sukang Paombong) instead of the rice wine vinegar.

 
 

Posted but pun is MIA due to FYWP!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just had to ventricle.

 
 

You are the cat whisperer.

I was called Dr. Doolittle today via SMS, after diagnosing Kevin with bilateral mydriasis (not very tough, although I had to find out what it was called, and by what it might be caused).

I corrected, “Jackson Galaxy.”

I made Kevin a dim room, today. He’s very happy.
.

 
 

Excellent response, tho I will admit to finding the bad-taste joke laugh out loud funny. More of an advert for canada than anything else.

 
 

obama will never take away our god-given right to shake hands!!!!!111!!

 
 

I wish I could get people at work to start fist-bumping.

We’re constantly shaking hands and I’m always thinking “I really don’t want whatever your kid brought home from kindergarten today”.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Obama just wants to spread knuckleitis.

 
 

Confused cats against feminism

Just in case you are missing the best thing to happen to the internet. (Since this blog, of course.)

 
 

It’s not the worst part of the fubar, but it’s really starting to grate. If you can at all get the Seinfeld thing to not be stuck on “…powdered wigs”, that’d be great. Priorities, people!

 
 

Congrats, Cerb!

I like the overall layout and color scheme, especially the nifty floral graphics at the top.

I’m not a fan of the nested comments, because of the way I read the threads. I read the whole enchilada from top to bottom. With the indented nested comments, I’m prone to miss something added later by another Sadly.

Hope everyone is well and happy!

((( Bitter Melon — good name for a garage band. )))

 
 

Does this mean the wingnuts will have to counter by bumping their knuckleheads together?

 
 

Test.

 
 

I could learn to live with the indents. I can adjust how I read. the indents do make it easier to consolidate a pun barrage.

Eddie: I agree about the Seinfeld quotes. (If it isn’t heresy, I would like to see them abolished entirely….)

Shakazulu: Thanks for the Kittehs link !

 
 

The new format doesn’t remember my nym and e-mail. (The old one did.) It’s sort of a drag to key it all each time I make a comment. Also, there seems to be a longish delay between when I write a comment and when it appears. Is there now some review of delay built into the system?

Finally, has the new, shiny, and improved SN ! managed to eliminate the creature under the Sadlyville bridge? If so, I can live with whatever format.

Also too and moreover, I miss the ability to add bold and italics !!!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Happy 100th B’day WWI!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Teh Ho (who is on vacay for three weeks) put on the 70s music channel while we do massive cleaning (we’ve been neglectful). I was just getting ready to say I like it and all but there’s only so much Eagles and Fleetwood Mac I can take. But now they’re running some Steely Dan and life is good.

I’m making eggplant parm tonight. Not the New Jersey fried gutbomb version (which I do like very much) but a minimalist rendition with baked eggplant stacked with basic naturally sweet red sauce and fresh mozzarella with fresh basil leaves. Fried polenta or maybe arrancini. Yeah, arrancini I think, stuffed with more mozz. A nice salad with fresh herbs from my balcony garden. Hafta pick up some pistachio gelato I guess. That will be nice with some crushed biscotti on top.

 
 

Y’all French, w/ the hand-shaking?

 
 

Bitter Melon Council
Album title.

 
 

only so much Eagles and Fleetwood Mac I can take
About one tune per band, depending, & of course F.M. was O.K. when they were Limey Loons before the Americans got in the band.

 
 

Could you stand more than one tune from Yes? I will be standing a whole concert by Yes, well Nearly Yes, on Saturday.

 
 

Yes, I could. I even own a flat black platter that contains more than one tune by Yes. Have fun.

testing html

 
 

Yes I could, but I think they’re a tragically under-regarded band. I may even own a few flat black platters that contain more than one tune by Yes.

Have fun!

 
 

Thanks for that referral, Shake. I enjoyed it very much indeed.
Snarky feminism is probably my favourite kind.
I’m naturally an old-school, second wave type feminist and it feels good to giggle a little nowadays.

 
 

Testing: #&9729; #&9797; #&9879; #&9805; #&9809;

LOL404 PREVIEW NOT FOUND

 
 

Click my name to see my first Kickstarter project. Don’t blame me — everyone is doing it.

Seriously, at 75% funding, there’s going to be a guy in a pimp suit dancing with chickens to that video’s music, while in the background, I will be being chased by people wearing colandars on their heads, throwing eggs at me. There may also be some subtle PENIS humor (no, there won’t, sorry).
.

At 50% funding, you get to see me dancing the robot with chickens (if I can clear that with the attorney; Comedy Central? SURPRISINGLY LITIGIOUS).
.

 
 

there’s only so much Eagles and Fleetwood Mac I can take

That’s why I gave up listening to classic rock years ago. I’m of the age where I got to listen to that stuff when it was new and after 40 years I really don’t care to hear it any more.

 
 

Test.

 
 

Classic Rock is now music that was released 1990-2001. The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac etc., have been reclassified as Smooth Jazz. Olde Heavee Metale should be filed under Vintage Demolition Equipment.

 
 

It’s true. A lot of the stuff that I thought of as “new” like REM and U2 has been around for 20-30 years now.

I can remember listening to U2 as a college freshman in 1980.

(shakes cane)

Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!

 
 

It’s true. A lot of the stuff that I thought of as “new” like REM and U2 has been around for 20-30 years now.

I can remember listening to U2 as a college freshman in 1980

it does indeed make one feel old…our classic rock stations around here play stones, yes, styx, boston, molly hatchet, skynard and zep on a near constant basis…same songs from the same artists…cannot abide it…

 
 

Vintage demolition equipment. I like that. I like it a lot.

 
 

As long as they play a healthy dose of Pink Floyd, (Except for that Dirty Woman song from The Wall, yuck), I manage to tolerate the “classic” stations for appreciable lengths of time. That time variable is equal to the amount of time until a fucking Skynard song comes on and I break my finger smashing the change-channel button on my radio.

 
 

That’s the worst part.

The classic-rock stations seem to think that the Rolling Stones have only recorded 3 songs in all the time they’ve been around.

 
 

For some reason I always found Pink Floyd kind of depressing.

I’m not questioning their talent but I could only listen to them in small doses.

 
 

Oh, that reaction is far from uncommon. I get pensive and quiet and relaxed when they’re on–not depressed. It’s like me time, only I can use my hands for other things.

 
 

There is ONE good Skynard song.

Anybody?

 
 

It’s like me time, only I can use my hands for other things.

oh gee whiz…what could that be?

 
 

There is ONE good Skynard song.

Anybody?

give me three steps will earn that commentor a junk punch…

 
 

That’s because the complete label reads “Market tested & guaranteed not to offend 95% of traditional Americans – Music, Classic Rock type (radio broadcast ready).”

So let me guess. Satisfaction, Jumping jack flash and … um… Get off of my cloud?

 
 

My junk is safe.

 
 

Saturday Night Special.

I bet that one no longer gets any airplay.

 
 

Gettin’ warmer.

 
 

Oil painting, silly. What else would it be?

 
 

After a few beers, Simple Man doesn’t provoke a homicidal rage in me. Is that it?

 
stoner in front row
 

freebird!

 
 

No Charge for the Middle Finger? Oh, wait. That wasn’t the title, but it was something like that.

 
 

When I’m really depressed and just want to go with it and get it out of my system I listen to Concrete Blonde.

 
 

I hate to admit that I used to like a lot of the “Southern Rock” back when I was young.

Then I actually lived in the South and got over it real fast.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

What’s That Smell?

 
 

It wasn’t ME.

P.S.The correct answer is……………”I Know a Little”!!

Southron boys kin swing it hard when they want to.

 
 

National Review is picking a fight with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Dr Tyson tends to be diplomatic when it comes to politics, the righties are picking a fight that won’t go well with them- he could beat them all with one hemisphere of his brain tied behind his back.

Hat tip to Buddy McCue.

 
 

srsly?! the dorks at nr are trying to attain the cool factor by call ndt a NERD? what a bunch of maroons…

 
 

Um, okay, right. I went away and all that happened.

Well, I’m not back but in the meantime, please enjoy The Mayor of Heron Bay:
http://www.al.com/news/mobile/index.ssf/2014/07/draped_in_confederate_flag_and.html

 
 

Back in the late 80s I remember watching a good video for Nash the Slash’s cover version of “19th Nervous Breakdown”. Now, 25 years later, Nash is dead, and that video is STILL NOT ON YOUTUBER. Reality, I am disappointed in you.

 
 

“Nerd problem”???

That sounds vaguely familiar.

 
 

mango mania!!!
If he’d had a Mexican flag draped around his shoulders, would Mr. Dumas and Al.Com have mentioned it?

ummmm…more than likely, yes?

from somebody called ‘political correctness is for the weak’:

lol….He’s my hero….

but this is my favorite exchange…such a cogent argument:
Just another guy exercising his constitutional right to bear arms until he started to actually shoot. He is example of what can happen with the new carry laws. Until the first bang noone was supposed to notice him.

and ‘AlphaRaptor’ chimes in with:

Samething with any other weapon like a TRUCK or CAR or bottle of GASOLINE, Bow and arrow, KNIFE, SWORD, SPEAR!

 
 

If he’d had a Mexican flag draped around his shoulders, would Mr. Dumas and Al.Com have mentioned it?

Saw that too. BEST. NON SEQUITUR. EVER.

 
 

Samething with any other weapon like a TRUCK or CAR or bottle of GASOLINE, Bow and arrow, KNIFE, SWORD, SPEAR!

OK bubba. If a spear’s just as good then I guess you really don’t need that AR-15 now do you?

There’s a reason the army issues rifles and not spears or bottles of gasoline.

 
 

Things Goin’ On

 
 

Napalm is the weaponized form of gasoline, the problem with liquid gasoline or any other liquid accelerant as a weapon is the problem of blowback.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

No one in the mango section mentions Sinclair Lewis. Likely because they didn’t get it. Perhaps the “mayor” knew how to play the part properly?

 
 

Napalm is also very difficult to lay down accurately. It’s carried in modified drop-tanks which tumble when they come off the aircraft.

The ballistics are terrible.

It also required a straight-and-level run in to the target at low altitude.

We stopped using it because we came up with something more effective – cluster munitions.

 
 

Found a bit of time to look into the mess and passed a few comments that were awaiting approval. Shit is effed up, but we are working on it.

 
 

Test!

 
 

We have random quotes back on the sidebar above the search field.

It would seem that once comments are approved out of moderation you should be good to go. We shall see…

 
 

We can disable nesting, personally I would like to do so, but would like to take a straw poll before changing the setting. Anyhoo looks like a t-storm is headed my way and I have to jet…

 
 

I’ll go with not-nested comments

 
 

no nesting!!!

 
 

I’m fine either way.

 
 

My vote would be for no nesting.

 
 

You nested that comment. Is this one of those “when women say no they really mean yes” moments?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

HUMANS DONT NEST

 
 

No nesting.

 
 

or do what i say, not as i do…

 
 

Test.

And… skip nesting. I don’t think it works well for this particular blog’s setup.

 
 

Then why is my nightstand covered with receipts, buttons, coins and pens?

 
 

I’m sharing a hotel with the Washington DC NFL team (you know the one).

I’ve never felt like such a munchkin.

“We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild…..”

 
 

Ironically seconded.

 
 

If he’d had a Mexican flag draped around his shoulders, would Mr. Dumas and Al.Com have mentioned it?

Then the headline would’ve ben “Terrrist shot on sight.”

 
 

Erm, I’ll get my coat I guess.

 
 

Shamelessly invoking my privilege as The Oldest Member, I will state that I, for one, am anti-nesting.
Take heed, dammit.

 
 

The fact is, this blog is for terrorist USA haters who like when gays run everything, unlike her in the heartland where we get power from God and Guns

 
 

Better make sure they don’t use up all of the ice in the hallway ice machine.

 
 

Snrk.

I got some canned goods they can have. They aren’t even bulging much.

 
 

Nests are for the birds.
.
.
.
.
Well, SOMEBODY had to say it.
.
.
.
.
.
I’ll go quietly.

 
 

I assume that you are a bower bird and the artful arrangement of shiny objects is your way of attracting a mate.

 
 

No nesting please.

 
 

I’m for nesting if you can make it nestier. The current indent is so shallow.

But what I’d really like is for this thing to stop horking up my cookies.

 
 

Yeah, the trouble with nesting is
that if a conversation really
gets g
oing.
afte
r a
lon
g en
oug
h wh
ile
yo
u
en
d
up
wi
th
s
tu
pi
d
sh
it
li
ke
th
is.

Down with nesting, up with preview!

 
 

I find the cookies thing still, kinda, works. It doesn’y automatically show the name and email fields filled in, but all I need is to type the forst couple of letters and it offers to complete them.

 
 

Is this purgatory permanent?

 
 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/volleyball-star-sabina-altynbekova-says-social-media-obsession-with-her-is-a-bit-much-9636570.html

Ok, Sabina Altynbekova is a cute 17 year old girl. So I’m not here to disparage her in any way.

All I’m saying is, you can find girls exactly as cute, or even cuter, at any mall, restaurant, airport, or bus stop in the world.

WTF?

 
 

An ad posted on Craig’s List, supposedly by the Oathkeepers group, asks for donations, everything from canned chili to sunscreen to walkie talkie’s and, most of all, men who have time on their hands.

way to set those job qualifications high, boys!

 
 

Courtesy of a commenter at LGM, today’s effort at doubling down on stupid is written by John C Wright.
http://www.everyjoe.com/2014/07/30/politics/democracy-impossible-without-faith-in-god-christianity/
His column today is a self justification of disappointing proportion. I was going to call it epic proportions, but no bard with a hope of eating regularly would waste the time it would take to compose the ‘Whineiad’ to tell the story of how one lone Jesus-mazed brown-noser managed to cram his head so far up his ass that he could get the rear view of his tonsils.
I could fisk the entire column but that would be a waste of time, since he averages more fallacies than words in each sentence he writes. It is an example of clinging to an untenable worldview with increasing fervor in the face of an uncaring reality. He constructs an army of straw men, to whom he loses his debate. He is, according to his bio. a former atheist who converted to Roman Catholicism, which to my mind makes him some combination of: dumb a stump, as gullible as George W Bush or fan of creepy sexist authoritarian theocratic tyranny. And while he is a Catholic, he isn’t a very good one, his entire screed demonstrates a ‘good/spiritual’ vs ‘evil/material’ dichotomy which an educated catholic could recognize as the Manichean heresy in a cheap suit.
And here’s the thing. Some people like the author, reject facts, (about abortion, about evolution, about the existence of a near middle eastern sky god) because they are uncomfortable with the ramifications of those facts. Ramifications, like there is no god and there is no afterlife and after we die the universe won’t mind. Hitler isn’t being spit-roasted in hell and neither is anyone else, JPII is not living it up in heaven, and neither is anyone else. Ramifications like there is no inherent meaning in life and efforts to forcibly graft some kind of ancient good versus evil narrative on human existence are doomed to ever more ridiculous failure.
Adult humans are smarter than the five-year olds who can be bribed into good behavior for one month a year by telling them about Santa Claus. Why should we trust the church about anything after we realize that the central premise of the church is bullshit? Why should we trust that the church has moral authority after we read about pedophilia, the Magdalene laundries and witness the fabulous gaudy excesses of the church of Rome?

 
 

I’ve found that true for SeaMonkey, a browser related to Mozilla Firefox that I use exclusively for web surfing.

 
 

I’m still going through my Bible looking for any mention of a constitutional republic.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Are adults smarter? Kids are presented with lots of evidence for Santa’s existence, not least among which is the PRESENTS UNDER THE TREE EVERY YEAR. Adults believe that a god screwed up his creation (a creatoon that flues in the face of the rest of the universe) so badly that he had to wipe out the entire human race save for one family then later impregnated a young lass so that he could sacrifice himself to himself in order to put a loophole into the problem that he himself created. All with no evidence at all. There’s even a huge raft of counter evidence.

Its not about smarts, its about gullibility.

 
 

One of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met face to face was working the counter at a car rental place inside LAX. She’s was Jane Fonda/Margo Kidder-level beautiful, as I’ve seen the former from less than 12 feet 29 years ago this summer, and briefly talked with the latter the next day.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Creatoon.” I like it. “flues in the face” not so much. Creatoon (why is autocorrect only now trying to fix it??) perfectly describes the Jehovah / Yahweh / El / (other prototype Jewish gods) debacle.

Also FYWP.

 
 

(6) Tyranny promises utopia, safety from reality, and all its promises are lies, whereas Liberty promises the hard truth that you are responsible for your own life, if you are man enough to be free.

so…jesus is a tyrant? and another thing that whizzes me off is that mr. wright continually refers to ‘a man’…i’m good with references to ‘man’ as a stand in for humankind, but not with ‘a man’…but then again, regarding women as equals is pretty gosh darn politically correct, innit…

“Creatoon.” I like it. “flues in the face”

i thought those were intentional! also, too…i was thinking of you this morning when i was listening to archbishop neistadt this morning explaining why he didn’t act on the sex abuse cases/scandal…it was pretty much, ‘but…i’m too busy doing every day things and that lady has an axe to grind with a certain priest if you know what i mean!’ i almost barfed into my face powder…

 
 

i’ll leave this here in case anyone wants to become nauseated firsthand…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Reminds me of the phenomenon of the stunningly beautiful pole vaulter from a few years back.

 
 

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/384081/smarter-thou-charles-c-w-cooke

NRO writer explains how Neil DeGrasse Tyson lacks any real qualifications to be a smartypants on anything.

 
 

For your listening pleasure.

Fast forward to just past the 30-minute mark and listen for “Delta 2422″.

http://archive-server.liveatc.net/katl/KATL-Gnd-0927-Jul-25-2014-1100Z.mp3

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Some bastard blogged about that a couple of days ago. There’s a link to a cut-and-paste of the whole article so you can ignore the NRO paywall:

bigbadbaldbastard.blogspot.com/2014/07/an-unforced-error.html?m=1

 
 

First they came for the homophones, but I said nothing …

It’s like they’re determined to make The Onion world a reality.

 
 

A pro poe…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df3blZzXTL0

Tho I think he got mixed up between homophones and homonyms.

 
 

homonyms

I suppose this word has taken on new meaning in the internet age.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Pupienus Maximus is NOT my homonym.

 
 

Firstly, congrats Cerb. When they give you the keys to the trans* cabal’s world domination machine please remember that I, as Dragon-King Wangchuck, can be quite helpful by having sex with people’s moms.

Secondly, whoa. This is different. O brave new website that has such nested comments in it.

Thirdly, and attempting HTML here scares me but a D-KW must do as a D-KW must do. PENIS.

 
 

That penis-shaped cloud (see D-KW above) is clearly a message from God, but what is He (?) trying to say?

 
 

Are we still voting? I’m sorry, I was off nesting.

Also, Harun Farocki died.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyjrId8beU4

Helmut! Yes, that LGM piece/comments is uncut.

 
 

Oh, the cloud, the cloud. Forgot the cloud. The cloud is global warming.

 
 

“Its not usually the sort of thing I would take a picture of but I’m not going to miss out on a huge cock flying overhead.”

who would?! hubbkf is going to be so jealous…his cloud pics never feature penis…

i am pumped over two things: this weekend i purchased a dvd of ‘searching for sugarman’ for a measly $3…and last night i got to use the phrase, ‘don’t struggle, it only makes the straps get tighter’ and made a patron snort his cocktail out his nose…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

He can always whip it out before he snaps the picture.

 
 

Dear sweet mother of pearl, that Cooke guy pumps out the purtiest-sounding triple-coilers you ever DID see … yep, those Johnny-come-lately poseurs like Maddow (PolSci Doctorate) or Krugman (Econ Nobel Prize) are just pretending to be nerds, sheeple! Perhaps Chuckles should get an enema for the impacted Thesaurus & a therapeutic nut-slap for his heady mix of dipshittery & attitude.

“Actual science is slow, unsexy and assiduously neutral,” he casually spat in reality’s eye. See, in CookeWorld monomaniacally trolling evolution or AGW or overpopulation isn’t REALLY being a suicidal fuckface after all – in fact all the lucidity-based flak you keep catching for it makes you JUST LIKE GALILEO!

Bonus points for throwing in a bit of token Hayek fellatio to render crystal-clear that the reader is beholding the febrile conniptions of an intellectual yut.

The coda of this steaming log is a doozy:

“Marie Antoinette is no more welcome in America if she dresses up in a Battlestar Galactica uniform and self-deprecatingly joins Tumblr. Sorry, America. Science is important. But these are not the nerds you’re looking for.”

Because the nemesis of liberty & justice for all is … a cosplaying dead French tween?

 
 

“Marie Antoinette is no more welcome in America if she dresses up in a Battlestar Galactica uniform and self-deprecatingly joins Tumblr. Sorry, America. Science is important. But these are not the nerds you’re looking for.”

wut?

 
 

Which America does he live in? Marie Antoinette would be welcomed with open arms, and have a reality show inside a week. Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, the real housewives of Versailles, its all the same. And CW Cooke needs a fire extinguisher for his trousers if he claims he wouldn’t carry water for yet another out of touch rich person even if she has a french accent.

 
 

Shorter: You guys are STUPID.

This guy has a nice bucket full of venom for people who mock science deniers. He doesn’t seem to enjoy being called out on being a half witted con artist trying to sell snake oil to the NRO’s half witted readership.

Too much teenage angst. I give it a 3.2 out of 500.

 
 

Also too, smeg teh steenking paywall:
EPIC NRO THREAD, SUCH NERDTROLLS, VERY OHWOW

“We have located the weak-spot at the synaptic junction. Target lock confirmed. Commence pwnage at will.”

“LAUNCH EVERY ZIGZAG!!!”

 
 

As it is, Bitter Melon Farm is also the name of an excellent album by the Mountain Goats.

 
 

Hello Kids,
I will disable nesting presently.

Also, I had to put Peanut Brother, Duke Yellington, Viscount Underfoot, and Earl of Lapwhick to sleep yesterday afternoon.

Only two months ago I let the little bastard into the building thinking that he belonged to someone else. Went back to my room saw a flash past my feet and a Siamese cat ploppped on his side on the rug “So this is how were playing it?” said I, “Meow” said he.

He hadn’t been quite himself the last couple of days and was diagnosed with FIP, an incurable and fatal condition. He took his last breath in his favorite spot, my lap.

Provider=Sad.

Apologies in advance if turning off nesting borks anything…

 
 

Comments have been returned to Old School style…

 
 

Condolences about your cat.

 
 

Sorry about the cat. At least he got to be happy for his last two months.

 
 

Thanks guys…

 
 

Cerberus, have you seen this yet? I’ll bet you’d have a lot to say in response…

http://www.newyorker.com/contributors/michelle-goldberg

 
 

Provider, I’m really sorry to hear about your kitty. I’ve been there, man, and I know how hard it can be.
But you made sure he had a good life while he was with you and lots of love back and forth.
Hugs to you.

 
 

Provider, my condolences about the cat. Cats come into our lives, and go out of our lives- at least your bud had a good home and good company while in the last throes of FIP. Consider that time kitty hospice. interrobang also lost a cat recently. It’s not been a good year for our feline friends.

 
 

Sure as hell has not been good for the cats this yr.

About 12 yrs. ago I had a kitten who died of FIP. Grim. Serious misery to be put out of.

 
 

He hadn’t been quite himself the last couple of days and was diagnosed with FIP, an incurable and fatal condition. He took his last breath in his favorite spot, my lap.

Provider=Sad.

I’m sad right there with ya, UNE. :-/

I’m temporarily hosting a guest cat, Kevin (or, Lord Kelvinator, Master of Shadows). He’s only gonna be here for maybe a year. He and Curly are good buds, already.
.

 
 

while i’m not superfond of the cats, actually have nightmares about them, i don’t like to hear of any pet passing…just glad peanut had a good home and didn’t go through a lot of misery…

it’s weird, but i never thought i’d be a ‘pet’ person, but g-dang it, those little buggers get into your life, don’t they?

 
 

I, too, offer my condolences and my gratitude (not the right word, but it’ll do) for knowing the little guy was loved to the last. And “Peanut Brother, Duke Yellington, Viscount Underfoot, and Earl of Lapwhick?” You come up with the best names!

 
 

So sad when our four legged family members go to pet heaven.

For bbkf especially, Here’s a puppy. http://imgur.com/feH3OOk

 
 

Third try.

 
 

For bbkf especially, Here’s a puppy. http://imgur.com/feH3OO

zomg! come over right now!

 
 

also, too jeffraham, i always have issues (technical, vodka….who knows?!) commenting at your site, so i’ll just say it here: dude! watch out, laydeeeeez, indeed!

 
 

Nevermind.

 
 

jeffraham, i always have issues (technical, vodka….who knows?!) commenting at your site, so i’ll just say it here: dude! watch out, laydeeeeez, indeed!

Watcha doin’, aftah? ;)

Tech note: You’re not the first to have issues with Blogger comments. In fact even I have to use Firefox, and NOT Google’s Own Chrome to comment on my own, Google-owned Blogger bloggy-blog! How effed is THAT?

So, I’ve switched to Google+ comments. Most like it better; some do not. Try it and see if it’s any better, please!

Oh, and… a link to a link with a link to scooter shenanigans, from yesterdiddy.
.

 
 

Mrs. Kong came out to NYC for my weekend stay.

We met BBBB and N_B in Brooklyn for brunch this morning.

 
 

Was the legendary Mrs. __B(ear) there too? Sounds like fun. We’re in Le Grande just now, on our way to Glacier NP on our motorpickles. Awesome geology / scenery in central and eastern OR.

 
 

Seriously, bbkf (Borden Burger K_? Foods)… thank you for the kind and flattering words. I’m not working hard at it, still drinking beer and eating pizza, y’know. Doing math, is all.

My weekend in photos.
.

 
 

Aw, Major, envy strikes deep into my soul.
Tell me, did one of you have Pup’s fave, Eggs Benedict, for brunch ? Or the NY thing, bagel with lox etc ?
I love when people do the stereotype thing unironically.

 
 

Eggs are the secret to my weight loss success. No lie.
.

 
 

Mrs B and Mini B were there as well. We went to what I would call an outdoor food-festival in Brooklyn. You could get pretty much anything you wanted there.

 
 

Eggs are the secret to my weight loss success.

Mine is “stop eating so damn much (and go ride your bike)”.

I’ve lost 40 pounds since May.

 
 

Great Googly Moogly! FYWP! I am not posting too fast!!!!

Tell me, did one of you have Pup’s fave, Eggs Benedict, for brunch ? Or the NY thing, bagel with lox etc ?

Nah, it’s not like that- we went to the Brooklyn Smorg- there are a lot of vendors crammed into the space. I had the triple pork sandwich at Bolivian Llama Party, washed down with a Lemonade/Rosewater soda.

The place is amazing- about 100 vendors selling a wide variety of ethnic, eclectic, and artisanal food and drink. You want a freshly made apple/ginger soda? They got it. Housemade bacon on a stick with a maple glaze? Sure! Lumpia, pupusas, lobster rolls? Yep…

 
 

WordPress hates me, I’ve tried to post a couple of times, but I’m getting that “too fast” bullshit.

Anyway, a good time was had by all. Pup, it’s not a typical brunch spot- it’s the Brooklyn Smorgasburg (sic- it started in Williamsburg), and it features 100 food vendors selling everything from pupusas, to lumpia, to macarons, to housemade sodas…

You’d plotz, you would.

 
 

I’ve lost 40 pounds since May.

NOICE!!

I’m on track to be in that range of loss by the end of this month (started 6/3). But, you weren’t heavy when we met!
.

 
 

Eggs are the secret to my weight loss success.
Mine is “stop eating so damn much (and go ride your bike)”.

Throwing up blood has always worked for me.

 
 

you weren’t heavy when we met!

My blood pressure was getting too high.

Any worse and I’d have started having problems with my FAA physical. Rather than go on medication I decided to try dropping some weight. Sure enough, my blood pressure came right down to normal range.

 
 

Any worse and I’d have started having problems with my FAA physical. Rather than go on medication I decided to try dropping some weight. Sure enough, my blood pressure came right down to normal range.

Wow — much admiration! You veterans though… y’all know how to be self-disciplined. Very impressed!

My job is what headed me down this path, too. We have a nurse come in and take blood, measure & weigh (and not just PENIS) and ask us some basic lifestyle questions. Company pays for it, AND we each get $150 each time we volunteer to undergo this, every year. They have other incentives, which I always miss, like the follow-up calls with a nurse, regarding diet, etc.; the windows are short, and I play voicemail tag until I give up. :)

My hip has been hurting (~1.5/10 on the Allie Brosh scale) for a year or more. My knees, at times of heavy use, bother me. If I didn’t do something NOW, I was gonna end up in a few years on SSI + cat food. So, c’mere, bull! Those horns make nice handles!
.

 
 

Good for the ‘ham and Kong on the shape getting in.

Peanut Brother, etc, was placed in his final resting spot about 72 hours after his last breath, and I actually got a spot of sleep last night. I’ll admit that I was harboring a smallish bit of hope that he would make a getaway from the freezer ala…

Also just ran into a classmate who I met in second grade, but have not seen since highschool. I was reminded why at one point I had a crush…

I will be working on either the backend, a new thread, or both.

Need to see what Allie Brosh is up to. She is brilliant!

 
 

I just started the Major Kong weight loss program this morning. No noticeable loss to report so far.

Shakezula: The Yes concert was great fun. The crowd was mostly over fifty and the band was mostly over fifty but there was great energy from both. The crowd were dancing and jumping around and the band were on fire, it was like we were kids again. They played the entire Close to the Edge album, a couple songs from their new album, the entire Fragile album, I’ve Seen All Good People/Your Move and Starship Trooper.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

B4: T’wasnt I who inquired after eggs Benny. But yeah, I’d plotz. Sounds like a half a dozen of our “food cart pods” rolled up in one. We have all that (and more) but not in one place.

 
 

Thread Bear, sounds like a good time. I caught a Yes gig in the eighties. Saw Fogerty last week. Dude has to be pushing 70 but can still bring it.

Also, new one up…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

So we were riding north out of Enterprise and I couldn’t remember whether the next town was “Clarkson” or “Clarkston.” Wasn’t until I saw a sign with mileage to both Clarkston WA and Lewiston ID that I finally tumbled to it. After all these years.

tsam – we might return through Spokane. Teh Ho wants to see Coeur d’Alene which pretty much forces us through Spokane.

 
 

Also just ran into a classmate who I met in second grade, but have not seen since highschool.
I will be working on either the backend

The classmate’s?

 
 
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