Holy Shit, I Exist Outside Cyberspace
Totally accurate picture of me…sure, why not?
So, that news I was hinting at a couple of posts ago? I heard back from the convention organizers that it was okay to promote it, so woot.
The convention is the Preventing Violence Convention at the University of California, Santa Cruz on May 10th, 2014 and I’ll be doing a panel about “Asexuality and Sexual Violence” in the 2nd session from 2:30 pm – 3:45pm at the Cantu Queer Center at the University. The full convention schedule is available: Here.
One of the featured guests is going to be Dr. Jill McDevitt, a nationally acclaimed sexologist, and it is a great opportunity to talk about an issue I have a great deal of passion for and educate a general audience about something they wouldn’t often think about and may be the beginning of what may hopefully be more convention panels and other opportunities in the future.
So yeah, if you happen to be in the area or know someone who will that has a free day, definitely feel free to drop by or pass the word.
And yes, I am fully aware that this potentially outs me to the type of psychotic stalkers who love to circle around this blog like minnows that think they are sharks.
And to that I say: What of it?
Now on to the eviscerating of right-wing morons.
Proof of a Meritocracy Goldberg, National Send One of the Slave Children to Scratch my Toes for me for I Have No Time for it:
America Eats Itself
Holy fucking hell. Mr. Commenters Should Write My Posts for Me actually wrote a 4 page article for the website that pays him his obscene salary?
Is this Opposite Day? Did I hit my head tumbling down a rabbit hole and now an invisible cat is dicking around with me? WHAT SPORE OF MADNESS IS THIS?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Heh, writing long posts is nothing. I have a lot to contribute to the world, like, uh… hey, there was this TV show episode that was really good, you should have watched it. And like um, they didn’t do a good job screening out the liberals at the last school I did one of my rambling sweating talks at and that was scary and um, I once ate this bagel and- Hey, where are you going? This is important! I mean, whiny victims of your oppression complaining about how much it sucks to be oppressed is exactly like AIDS, you know! I HAVE LIBERAL AIDS NOW!
Um… holdup… AIDS? Um, what was that title again?
… I… um… er… Are you sure that was the intention? I mean, this is Jonah Fucking Goldberg here. It’s entirely possible he was too stupid to understand what metaphor he was invoking. I mean, conservatives have a hard enough time with homo sapiens being primates. Retrovirology is kinda a-
The body politic’s overactive racism antibodies.
I… eargh!
Just… just roll the pain.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is Jonah Goldberg’s weekly “news”letter, the G-File. Subscribe here to get the G-File delivered to your inbox on Fridays.
This rambly pile of puke is 4 fucking pages long. You’ll have to forgive me if I decide to interrupt some of the stream of unconsciousness Jonah uses to filibuster his own fucking self-added-scare-quotes-around-news letter.
Cause oh my Bob is it tedious and a perfect distillation of exactly the level of intellectual mastery over the English language that gets you a cushy position on the Right (seriously, I’ve really fucked myself over having integrity, I could have been cleaning up like no one’s business with half the effort).
Dear Reader (Including those of you who came here expecting a good ‘Dear Reader’ gag),
I… Is that even supposed to be a joke? I mean, I’ve been poring over this quote for an hour, scratching its eldritch knowledge into my skin and so far I’ve started three religions and a sex cult and still no fucking closer to understanding how this was supposed to be funny.
I feel like I’m having flashbacks to the days when Mitt Romney tried to show how “hu-man” he was by attempting this “Earth humor” that his galactic masters had once told him about.
I’m sitting here in the lobby of the Williamstown Inn waiting for the restaurant to open. The décor is a mix between New England traditional and cat-lady Grandma’s House (though the staff is very nice). The Muzak playing at 5:30 in the morning seems oddly reminiscent of a long time-lapse scene from A Man Called Horse or maybe the soundtrack when William Holden found that nice pacific village in Bridge on the River Kwai.
No. No. I wasn’t falling asleep. Please, tell me more about your day. Sounds abso-fucking-lutely riveting. Like I’m not at all fantasizing about Rosie the Riveter punching you in the jaw to get through this tedium. No sir.
I gave a talk here at Williams College last night. The paperwork from my speakers’ bureau said I was being brought in by the Young Republicans. But, as the guy caught with a tranny hooker said to the cops, either there was some mistake or this was a clever ruse.
… I know I should be offended here. I mean, obviously, yes, the only possible “joke” here is “trannies, lol” with extra “anyone who could be sexually intimate with a trans* woman must be deceived” bullshit which only gets more hilarious when you note that trans* woman (especially those in sex work) are routinely murdered for that crap with little to no official response or investigation (fun fun fun) but…
Bob help me, I think his complete inability to understand this “Hu’Mor” all the kids are talking about is protecting him somewhat. I mean, I know I should be offended, but I’m just more struck by how this isn’t even the beginning of a joke and it barely makes any sense outside of that singular “I said tranny and was dismissive of those freaks, ooh, I’m a rebel” bit of stupidity.
It’s just too pathetic to really be worth hating or caring about. Like when a kindergartner yells the word “shit” out in class and then looks to you to over-react so they can look cool to the rest of the students. It’s like, thank you for that contribution, anyone else have a guess at the answer?
I gather that the group is called this because, at Williams, if your group sounds conservative or libertarian, then lots of students will simply tune out, shun, or dismiss you.
Speaking of cute. It’s kind of adorable how pissy Jonah gets about not being treated as the intellectual titan he seems to think he is for having done the incredible hard work of stretching a simple IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION premise into a full-length book.
It’s like, here he did this unprecedented amount of hard work (for him) and while Mommy made sure he sold well and got properly fellated by all the “right” people and yet here’s this real world rolling their eyes and making wanking motion like he’s just one more right-wing anti-intellectual profiting off the Endless Circle Jerk. And that hurts his precious fee-fees…
So he’s going to spend the next 3 and a half pages trying to dismiss the actual oppression of anyone else so his special pain at being a prank right-wing organizations (usually led by non-students) use to try and “annoy” the perceived “left-wing” nature of their campuses can look super huge in comparison. (Because oppression is a zero-sum game that works like that, right?)
This reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of Parks and Recreation. Fortunately, I’ve been reminded of this episode before. From the December 13, G-File:
I’m reminded of an episode of Parks and Recreation — back when it was reliably funny — in which we learn the town of Pawnee, Indiana, is not only “The First in Friendship and Fourth in Obesity,” but also the home of a bizarre cult that worships an alien-beast God known as Zorp. In the 1970s the cult briefly controlled the city, but these days the aging cultists in their Dockers and flannel shirts aren’t much of a threat. Every now and then they gather in the city’s main park to await the arrival of Zorp, who they are sure will — this time! — destroy the planet and leave it a slag heap. (At these gatherings, Ron Swanson (who is awesome) sells the cultists handcrafted flutes at wildly exorbitant prices. The cultists think it’s hilarious and that Swanson is a sucker because he accepts checks. After all, Zorp is coming and he’s going to melt the whole planet tonight.)
Anyway, I’m reminded of it because the cultists had one brilliant insight. They called themselves the “Reasonablists.” Their thinking was that this would immunize them from criticism, because nobody wants to seem unreasonable or against reason.
Snrk. He identifies most strongly with the tale of a con-man ripping off an ignorant customer base of rubes… I almost have to admire the honesty on display here.
Also, we’re not even a page in and he’s wandered off to talking about TV Shows he’s watched and quoting his fucking self.
You know, Jonah… No one is forcing you to be an opinion writer. I mean, some people don’t really have much to share and aren’t much for writing. You must have a comfortable nest egg by now. You could probably retire comfortably and never have to write another big scary word again. Hell, knowing the right-wing proclivity for failing upwards, you could probably retire to a nice cushy “Vice Presidency” somewhere for some “Think Tank” and not have to do anything other than float from hotel restaurant to hotel restaurant.
Of course, that would mean admitting you are exactly the small and insignificant little shit you are and that you aren’t the last great prophet of this dying world and that is the exact type of self-awareness you’ve spent your life running from.
The room was pretty much full, which was good given the terrible date and time of the speech (5:00 P.M. on Spring Fling night) but better than that, there was a much higher proportion of liberal college kids than I often get of late (when not debating a liberal). For instance, when I recently went to Boulder — a far more left-wing school than Williams — I had very few actual students, never mind left-wing students there. I go to a lot of campuses, but the administrations are usually loath to promote the event and professors often tell their students outright not to attend, so as to avoid the, you know, uncomfortable learning.
I’m super popular! I am! Everyone wants to see me… the only reason I consistently get low attendance even by people who want to laugh at the buffoon is only because The EVIL Liberal College Professor Conspiracy told them to stay away. Same one that torpedoed my super accurate book of historification, because they just can’t handle my super macho truthiness Hwak, spit… OH NO, MY NEW SHOES!
Also, it is hilarious to see the conspiracy theories just explode like a bacteria culture over an agar plate as the conservatives are being forced to take the first blinking steps into the sunlight of the world outside their insular little community and having to reconcile with the fact that no one else is as incurious and uninformed as they are and no one cares about the fake ducal titles they’ve been given to each other like handjobs in a men’s washroom.
Yep, the only reason you ain’t got no respect and everyone acts like you are the inherent jokes you are is conspiracies within conspiracies and everyone who isn’t you is in on it. And you have a four-foot-long shlong and a model/nymphomaniac girlfriend. Sure, whatever helps you cry yourself to slep on your moe body pillow.
I gather the administration at Williams isn’t much help to the Uncomfortable Learning kids, but somehow the group got liberal kids to come and endure all the discomfort. Aside from the eye rolls, intellectually insecure giggles and smug knowing looks a few gave each other from time to time, they were admirably polite and engaged,
Sure, the liberals were laughing at my stupidity, but that just shows how stupid poopyheads they are. I’M SMART! I AMIAMIAMIAM! WAAH, mommeee, make them think I’m smart! Buy me street cred, mommeeeeeee!
Oh, poor wingnuts, so desperate for the approval of the academy and yet so disdainful of the pursuit of knowledge that defines it. So completely unable to grasp that academic and intellectual cred is not something that is handed to one at birth or bought by a rich relative like everything else in their life. And so completely unable to handle that insult to their perfectly constructed facade of pride.
All of this was against the backdrop of an outbreak of peak collegiate stupidity here at Williams. The school invited Michael Bloomberg to be a commencement speaker. This is hugely controversial on the left. A bunch of students and faculty are furious because Bloomberg supported stop-and-frisk policies in New York.
Gosh, a politician infamous for racist policing practices is not given the warmest welcome when he’s chosen to “honor” a student body? How utterly fucking unprecedented.
Or maybe not. As everyone knows only the really racist, super-clever-Klanny-type schools invite Angela Davis to speak on campus (with none of the controversy Michael Bloomberg elicits).
Why should she?
I mean, Angela Davis has a long distinguished career of amazing academic work and powerful activism for the powerless. She is a respected scholar with an important and unique viewpoint and a powerful voice for change. She is exactly the type of person who deserves to make Commencement Speeches or as you note, just speak at campus (an honor you sadly share with her).
So, why exactly do you think she should have the same “controversy” that Michael Bloomberg’s well-documented actions to make life for black New Yorkers worse?
Because she’s black? Because she’s a woman? Because she’s viewed as liberal and thus the enemy?
I mean, I know this is just a desperate grasp for a false equivalency, but usually the flail is towards someone who has at least something that could be seen as objectionable by someone other than “Look, BLACK WOMAN, take that liberals!”
But hey, maybe I’m being unfair, like those evil students who DARED roll their eyes at you! AND THEY WILL PAY FOR THAT DISHONOR WITH THEIR LIVES!
Let me explain. The leftwingers — racial, gender, feminist whatever — all subscribe to this “micro-aggression” claptrap. This is the latest term of art for the same political-correctness spiel we’ve been hearing for decades. A “micro-aggression” is when you unintentionally say something (allegedly) insulting or insensitive that only an incredibly sensitive and politically programmed person would immediately take as a sign of oppression.
*Headpalm*
Oi, it was only a matter of time before the moron brigade stumbled on the term “microaggressions” and started trying to use it to discredit the oppressed. I… I’m just going to need a minute here…
Okay, minute over. So yeah, for those who don’t know, microaggressions are the term oppressed people use to describe all those various “small, little” things that happen over and over and over and fucking over again and just leave you feeling shitty and powerless and annoyed.
Like, for example, as a trans* woman with a somewhat loose attitude to that whole “passing” bullshit, every day I try to be myself means weathering a gauntlet of nasty stares, worrying about where I’ll be safe doing the basic biological function of expelling urine. It means having to stomach and swallow all manner of dismissive statements, even from people who love me. It means working in a closet and having to suffer all the hell that brings and having to bite my tongue to all manner of questions. It means having general society consider who I am a joke. A million little things that no cis person will ever have to face.
And no individual thing is really that bad. I mean, I’m a big girl, I’ve stared down neo-nazis on a bus, some nuclear family giving me the evil eye is kinda shrug, whatevs.
But add it up, make it every day? Suddenly all those little things are just kinda draining and you start to be hyper-aware of the pressure to give in more and more to society’s demands of “respectability”. Add a few big events of discrimination and abuse and all those little tiny things start carrying extra weight. I mean, being in the closet for work is one thing, but it’s even worse having experienced not being out and being aware the price for that is potential homelessness and the risking of your loved one’s livelihoods.
I mean, no one thinks it’s individually a crippling thing. In fact, that’s why the term is called micro-aggressions because it’s just one small drop in the pond of suck that seems to so amorphously wobble around the borders of our cages as members of oppressed groups.
It’s a necessary aspect of the “personal is political” to note, but unfortunately it is very easy to dismiss among the sets of those bigots who specifically benefit from the status quo simply by pretending those individual “whatevs” events are isolated from each other and encompass the entirety of oppression.
Also, it is rich to have a sad old man whining about how he doesn’t get enough blowjobs from liberal college kids and how badly that hurts his all-important Man-feels try and argue that people who actually suffer for a living are the ones who are being “sensitive”. But hey, he isn’t the master of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION for nothing.
Let me explain. The leftwingers — racial, gender, feminist whatever — all subscribe to this “micro-aggression” claptrap. This is the latest term of art for the same political-correctness spiel we’ve been hearing for decades. A “micro-aggression” is when you unintentionally say something (allegedly) insulting or insensitive that only an incredibly sensitive and politically programmed person would immediately take as a sign of oppression.
Man, conservatives are so fucking jealous that oppressed groups have like real oppression to whine about instead of “wah, having my bigotry no longer be the dominant viewpoint of the country gives me ALL THE SADS”. I mean, they so want to have justified calls of being oppressed and getting to play the martyr that gets all the sympathy (from only a small percentage of the population after a long-fought campaign for equal rights) instead of being viewed as the fuckers who make everything worse just because they are (but you know, not in any way that involves having to actually suffer a fucking hundredth of what actual oppressed groups do).
Hey, you know what conservatives?
If I could? Oh, I would give you all of my hot sexy oppression. All the marginalization, all the constant bullshit, all the minimizations of your life experiences, all the times allies let you down, all the times bigots go out of their way to exclude and demonize you, all the times simply speaking up is treated like some grand offense. All of it. It’s yours. I’ll put a nice fat bow on it and accept every single sling and arrow you suffer.
As long as there’s no takebacks as you realize first hand what actual oppression feels like.
Fuck, you wouldn’t even last a second in my life.
Oh also? Nice way to pretend that pointed questions assuming all latin@s are from a foreign country are actually just friendly inquiries on one’s day. Insert world’s biggest wank-off motion here.
I think it was Eugene Volokh who once wrote that sometimes societies panic over the things they have the fewest reasons to worry about. In Victorian England, there was widespread concern about the loosening of sexual mores at a time of widespread chastity. I’ve long believed that America is suffering from a similar panic about bigotry and racism. Yes, yes, bigotry and racism still exist (See, Bundy, Cliven). But they are arguably at the lowest ebb in American history.
You know what?
I’ll actually give him this. I mean, our country was founded on the intentional disenfranchisement of the vast majority of citizens and the literal dehumanization and enslavement of a huge population of human beings, not to mention all the genocide. After that, we had a Civil War for the right of some people to own other humans. We had to have an anti-lynching movement (one which was often demonized). We’ve started wars of choice in conquering brown people all out of envy of the way that other white countries owned other civilizations and toyed with their people.
Compared to a long history of abominable injustice and vile legally-entrenched hatred, the modern day with all of its abominable racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, etc… is indeed the “high point” in much the same way that the top of a giant land-fill is the “pinnacle” of the trash heap.
Doesn’t make it any easier to breathe or any more palatable to eat off of.
And yet, there’s a sense of almost witch-hunty panic over “white supremacy” in our culture. I think there are lots of reasons for this. One explanation: When you have a black president and then discover that the presidency isn’t nearly as powerful as you thought or hoped it would be (or that the specific black president isn’t that great at the job) the cognitive dissonance pushes you to develop conspiratorial theories about the “real” reason for his failures.
Apparently the infinite Liberal Conspiracies are also responsible for the massive increase in racist backlashes to there being a black president. Naughty liberals making up the Teabaggers and the various Zimmerman fuckers just so they could hide Obama’s secret UN death cult stormtroopers! BAD! No ally cookies for you!
Then there’s another explanation: America’s elite culture is in the painful throes of an ongoing autoimmune crisis.
Really?
Do we really have to go here?
I mean, you’re very ignorant about history. Impressively ignorant even. Maybe you could just stick to dumb-ass hick bullshit about history and maybe, just maybe, you could leave the potentially infuriatingly offensive stabs at biology aside this one time. Maybe? No?
Siiiiiiiigggggghhhhhh. Oh, this is going to hurt.
I wrote about this theory last year:
The “hygiene hypothesis” is the scientific theory that the rise in asthma and other autoimmune maladies stems from the fact that babies are born into environments that are too clean. Our immune systems need to be properly educated by being exposed early to germs, dirt, whatever. When you consider that for most of human evolutionary history, we were born under shady trees or, if we were lucky, in caves or huts, you can understand how unnatural Lysol-soaked hospitals and microbially baby-proofed homes are. The point is that growing up in a sanitary environment might cause our immune systems to freak out about things that under normal circumstances we’d just shrug off . . .
If you think of bigotry as a germ or some other infectious-disease vector, we live in an amazingly sanitized society. That’s not to say it doesn’t exist, of course. And we can all debate how prevalent it is later.
My point is that the institutions — the organs of the body politic — that are the most obsessed with eradicating bigotry (as liberals define it) tend to be the places that have to worry about it the least. The Democratic party is consumed with institutionalized angst about prejudice, intolerance, and bigotry in America. But the odds are that relatively few of these people (particularly those under the age of 50) have been exposed to much real racism or intolerance.
The same goes for the mainstream media. In fact, many major media outlets have explicit policies dedicated to hiring and promoting minorities, women, gays, etc. Like the Democratic party, some have very strict hiring quotas in this regard. The well-paid executives and managers of these institutions come from social backgrounds where the tolerance for anything smacking of overt bigotry is not just zero, but in the negative range; they bend over backwards to celebrate members of the officially recognized coalition of the oppressed. (Of course, this coalition doesn’t include traditional-minded Christians, but that’s a subject for another column.)
…
…
Owwwwwwwwww…
I may be a masochist, but there’s a difference between good pain and… this. I just want to curl up with my copy of Bully for Brontosaurus and cry myself to sleep.
I… I don’t even want to get into the offensiveness of taking autoimmune disorders for this bullshit. I just want… let’s just all collectively forget this ever happened… actually fuck it. Eviscerate this bullshit commenters. Eviscerate it for my honor!
The war on microaggressions tells the tale. We live in a society where racial macro aggressions are appreciably rare,
Uh huh, sure, tell that to Trayvon Martin.
An alternative response is to fake instances of real old-timey racism, a very common occurrence at schools across the country
Mmm, uh huh, sure, all those Bundys and Sterlings and etcetera and etcetera are all the result of crypto-liberals posing as conservatives to make you Klanmembers look bad. Uh huh, whatever helps you sleep at night, fucker.
Of course, calling them white blood cells is just another white supremacist microaggression . . .
… I’m not sure what is most broken with pure blinding rage right now. My self as a biologist? My self as a social justice activist? Or my self as an amateur humorist? It’s like a Bermuda Triangle of Suck or some kind of terrifying rage orgy.
In my column earlier this week, I included the problem of ocean acidification as an environmental issue that is not getting enough attention because of climate-change mania. Some liberals have criticized this as a ridiculous statement since ocean acidification is largely caused by increasing CO2 emissions. I actually tried to address this in the column, but had to cut it for space reasons.
Oh thank fucking Bob, there’s the incurious laziness I’ve come to count on. I promise I’ll never again mock your five second no thought idea farts if you promise never ever to let your diseased brain run on this long ever again. You’ve convinced me, Jonah, less of you, is clearly more.
Actually, wait. That was probably your plan all along…
Clever girl.
Even so-called “climate deniers” do not deny that we are putting more CO2 into the atmosphere.
Uh, what now? Really? You, uh, want to tell your fellow denialists that at some point? Cause I don’t think they got your memo. Admittedly, it was probably a bit hard to read what with all the various stains on it (half of which at best were organic substances of some kind).
The argument about climate change is about the effect on global temperatures.
Ohhhh. So you don’t deny that humankind is pumping way too much fucking carbon dioxide into the atmosphere in a manner that causes all types of environmental problems besides global warming (like hey, that whole acidification of the oceans thing, by the way, nice attempt on that dodge, shame you’re as ignorant about the rest of the sciences as you are about biology and history). You (and your fellow denialists apparently) just think that carbon dioxide is a magical fairy dust that has no impact on anything.
And you think this is a less stupid pose, because…?
You can be a “climate denier” — I’m not, by the way —
Suuuuuuuurree, you’re not.
Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.
and still think there can be other negative consequences from greenhouse-gas emissions.
Then, why wouldn’t you be interested in alternatives that don’t do that. I mean, let’s be frank, absent all the world destroying Jesus cult shit and all the reflexive “anything a liberal is for is bad” mixed with “whatever rich companies want is always good”, there’s really no good reason for us not to pursue alternatives to fossil fuels.
I mean, we’re already having a harder and harder time getting new fuel and it’s causing all manner of major ecological disasters. We’re going to run out someday and we’ll have to scramble then to catch up while Spain and Denmark hold us by the short hairs lofted up by their wind farm blades.
Literally the worst thing that could happen is that we adopt a new renewable energy source that massively increases new industries that employ more people, get us off foreign entanglements due to energy needs, and improve the air, water, and food quality and solve a host of environmental factors, but find out that global warming (despite all the evidence) was totally a hoax by the same vast Liberal Conspiracies that tell college kids not to go to the panels of neckbearded has-beens suffering in the twilight of their wingnut welfare moment in the sun.
Oh noes, what horrors. Better air quality and increased employment for nothing.
Fuck, Jonah trying to sound “reasonable” here just makes it sound so much worse. I mean, sure, destroying the entire world because you think it’ll make God kill you faster and less painfully than everyone else is bad, but at least that has the vulva of its convictions instead of this confused pissing about for some reason why massively improving the quality of life on this planet should somehow be a bad thing.
He then fills up the rest of the space with random sentences, some of which contained links…
No, just no.
Some people have something to say to the world.
Something new to present. New ways of thinking. New approaches to old problems. A valuable insight to a perspective often ignored. Or a gifted way of turning phrases that aids one in putting together some annoying puzzle or in beautifully illuminating that which has been said before.
Some people are gifted orators who could speak for hours about any topic. Never growing dull for a second and always worth listening to.
Jonah Goldberg… is not one of those people. He isn’t even one of the people at the bar wishing they were one of those people. He’s the people who pays the club owner to kick those people out so he can get back to monopolizing the dull cocktail conversation about whose yacht can run over the most baby seals.
It’s not that he’s never suffered anything close to real oppression. It’s not that he’s a terrible writer and an even worse human being. It’s not that he’s made up of petty grievances and an unattractive sense of entitlement and feeling of ownership over the praises of others. It’s not that he’s a lazy asshole who shits out worthless meaningless and nearly always false garbage for far more than it could ever be worth, for far more than an actual writer likely ever sees in his life.
It’s that he is empty and has literally nothing to say. If Jonah Goldberg was sucked up by the Bermuda Triangle’s infamous oral skills tomorrow, the world would lose absolutely nothing, not even a foe. It’s like those twitter feeds that are all “Lol, having a bowel movement, too much corn” but somehow more banal and meaningless. Like a whispered conversation amongst golf fans. Completely devoid of any reason to exist and absolutely devoid of any illumination or meaning.
There’s a reason that Jonah sticks to short little farts and poses of laziness.
It’s because he’s darkly aware of what he is and just how much that absolute lack of meaning or purpose shows if he ever reveals more than the facade of the buffoon.
And perhaps that’s the cruelest way to live one’s life of all. To know for absolute sure that you have literally nothing of interest to say to the world…
Of course, I imagine the giant piles of money and massively unearned privilege for being a rich white male soften it somewhat.
Sigh, I can’t claim to be amazing in presentations, but I know that there are some bars one cannot help but clear. So if you have a free afternoon next Saturday and you’re in the area, please feel free to stop by for my panel. It couldn’t be any worse than this.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. They’re going to give me a shirt and everything. It’s like somehow while I was sleeping, I became a real adult or some such shit. How the fuck did that happen? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
P.S. Speaking of cool things coming up. I will be being published in a trans* short essay collection soon. The publishing date was supposed to be Late April, so it’ll probably be coming out soon and I’ll give you the full details when it actually comes out.
The fact is, liberals are dum
That Jonah the whale makes more than ten bucks an hour just shows that there ain’t no justice.
Yay for your panel! That is so awesome!
Speaking as someone with a madly over-effective immune system, boy, has Loadberg Got That Wrong. The whining over how he’s treated by intelligent people and how they don’t respect him is delightful, though. I have a tiny, seldom-read blog. I’ve been slow to write these past couple of years due to the aforementioned hyperactive immune system, but even I know how to start an essay and then wrap it up so that it makes a modicum of sense. And I don’t have to quote myself to do it. It’s not just that he’s a complete shit writer, and a clueless child of privilege with no desire to educate himself, it’s that he attempts to paint himself as such a martyr and fails. Utterly.
Lib my points, address!
The fact is, Bengazi proves that liberals are unfit to govern, ever. America was attacked and all we did was tell people to be nice to Muslim feelings, when all the Muzzies want to do is kill us all.
See, if Obama had said the magic “T” word then Romney would have won then everything “that one” did would disappear and then Jesus would come back and all the libruls would go to hell…
Posting a link to a National Review article as if it proved anything demonstrates an amazing level of self-unawareness all by itself. Posting it in the comments of an article on why National Review does not and can not deserve to be taken seriously? The lack of self-awareness is so total, it makes me wonder if “Some guy” even has a self to be aware of. Maybe that’s why he nymjacked the original Some guy: stealing somebody else’s identity is the only way he can have one. (Cf. the mechanics of patching together a Cover in Demon: The Descent.)
It’s that he is empty and has literally nothing to say. If Jonah Goldberg was sucked up by the Bermuda Triangle’s infamous oral skills tomorrow, the world would lose absolutely nothing, not even a foe. It’s like those twitter feeds that are all “Lol, having a bowel movement, too much corn” but somehow more banal and meaningless. Like a whispered conversation amongst golf fans. Completely devoid of any reason to exist and absolutely devoid of any illumination or meaning.
So, like Joel Stein only more so. (This, by the way, is what bugs me about the Awful Column: we’ve got plenty of people being allowed to write who really are utterly unaware of what clueless narcissists they look like to anyone who trudges through the drivel that falls out of their word-holes. It is unnecessary for Joel Stein to be one, and doubly unnecessary to pretend to be one, even in a deliberately unconvincing way.)
Well there was that Sweet Black Angel business when she stood trial for murder. I’m sure Herr Loadhosen remains convinced that she was the mastermind behind that unpleasantness with the dead judge and stuff.
We can be fairly sure Jonah actually wrote this one himself. Well, he can’t have hired a high school sophomore to be his intern, right?
Address my libs, point!
Herr Loadhosen
Oh, that’s good.
Must have been a halfway decent jobs report today because they’ll all screeching “Bengazi!!!”
The topic of sexual violence on campuses is very topical now. Good on you for participating in this conference. It’s not easy sticking your neck out when reactionaries and thugs want to keep people fearful and in check.
Herr Loadhosen
Zehn Kleine Cheetofressern.
I always thought the Pope had better apartments.
It’s nice to see how fast the trash is being cleaned up around here now. I promise not to tease the trolls anymore.
OT but LET’S GO WILD!!!!!
hockey for the uninitiated…
GO WILD
I keep those pics private.
But really, RIP CITY! (My adopted hometown local sports team for the uninitiated). Though I must mention our Winterhawks local WHL monsters are doing well also too)
Goodness.
Re: ‘dear reader’. It’s shit but it does exist:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/AudioPlay/WizardPeopleDearReader
Congratulations on the speaking and writing gigs, Cerb, and I hope they turn out well for you and everyone who needs to hear what you’re saying.
I also noticed something in one of your quotes from Young Master Goldberg:
In what universe is “disappointment” the same thing as “cognitive dissonance?”
I mean, aside from Jonah’s wholly unwarranted assumption that the majority of people voted for Obama simply because he’s black, and, apparently, Our Liberal Overlords had decreed that it was time to have a black president, the rest of it doesn’t make sense.
I’ll grant you that some of the obstruction Obama’s getting is because he has a (D) after his name rather than an (R), and there appear to be a significant number of people who do not believe that votes (and voters) are anything anyone with any power should be paying attention to, but is that basically un-democratic -‘scuse me – un-democrat way of thinking anyone should be admitting to while waving the flag and/or the Constitution?
Winterhawks have a really good Wild prospect, Matt Dumba. He will be up with the NHL squad soon.
Every now and then they gather in the city’s main park to await the arrival of Zorp, who they are sure will — this time! — destroy the planet and leave it a slag heap.
Funny how Jonah never guesses that this gag makes fun of fundamentalist evangelical christians who are eagerly awaiting the “rapture”. If he knew, would he be upset and throw his remote across the living room… and call an intern to drive to his house to pick it up?
FYWP!
Porcini season here. Who is a happy forager with a cupboard full of fresh fungus?
Well, mold is a fungus, and the Japanese knotweed is pretty good…
Oh, who am I kidding? So… jealous…
I’m going to have to lay off the sauce, again, a problem I attribute to misguided human testing funded, researched, and conducted by agents of SadlyNo Labs. I read the Goldberg piece and started googling on page two to see if the NRO site was hacked or otherwise Onioned and so on. Then I read page three. And then I read the comments (don’t read the comments) and scanned page four. The horror.
Good example of a feature of Cerb’s writing that I enjoy. A less-inventive writer might have left off at ‘truthiness’, having made the political skewer. But she doesn’t leave it there: Cerb authenticates the peek into Jonah’s mind by using a human, non-political glob of spittle. Which conjures well-known images of careless spills on his sometimes slovenly attire. So as a reader, I’m cruising along unsuspectingly and then OH NO MY NEW SHOES … and the result is laughter in Albuquerque. (((Now I’ll go back and read the rest of the post.)))
Reposting the same willfully ignorant National Review (but I repeat myself) article does not mean we’re going to address your point, Some dude. Try posting something that has a point to address.
Cleanup on aisle 3…
Yayys! GO CERB!
Samantha Bee on Morning Joe:
As long as we’re talking about “looking weak on terrorism”
2001 – September 11, 2001 attacks, 2,997 killed;
2002 – Reporter Daniel Pearl, kidnapped and beheaded in Karachi.
2002 – Nine people killed by bomb blast near US embassy in Lima – seen as attempt to disrupt forthcoming visit by President George W. Bush.
2002-2006 – Karachi consulate attacks: three separate attacks killed 18 people (including an American diplomat) and injured 87.
2002 – Two Marines shot, one killed in Kuwait.
2003 – Riyadh Compound Bombings kill 9 Americans, among 35 others.
2003 – Three American diplomats are killed by a roadside bomb targeting their convoy in Gaza.
2003–present – Damascus terrorist attacks: American interests in Syria targeted by Islamists.
2004 – Civilians Nick Berg, Jack Hensley, and Eugene Armstrong kidnapped and beheaded in Iraq.
2004 – Paul Marshall Johnson, Jr, civilian working in Saudi Arabia, kidnapped and beheaded; five other Americans die in attacks in Saudi Arabia in 2004.
2007 – American embassy attacked in Athens, Greece.
2008 – John Granville, US diplomat, assassinated in Khartoum, Sudan
I’m sure Darrell Issa will be investigating these any day now.
Of course Republican Presidents get a pass on this sort of thing because everyone knows they’re the “tough guys”.
This whole Benghazi thing is nothing but magical thinking by the wingnuts. Hey shitheads! No matter what came out Romney would have still lost, give it up.
“Don’t you look at me! Damn you all… and such…zzzzzz.”
Yes and we know exactly where those WMDs are in Iraq.
Saw this on another blog so I can’t take credit for it:
I may be as cowardly as they come, but when they told me it was time to go I got in the damn plane and went anyway.
You just get back to me when you’ve faced anything more dangerous than carpal-tunnel from sitting at a keyboard for too long.
And that’s about all you’ve ever had to stand by in your mundane little life.
Now in answer to your question:
The administration’s initial statements on Benghazi were based on the talking points delivered to them by the CIA and I’ve seen nothing so far, including the Ben Rhodes email that would make me think otherwise.
But then you know, and I know, that this is all about Hillary 2016 and nothing else.
It’s not Benghazi that Obummer has to worry about:
Free advice for Republicans
Yeah, MK, it’s just weird how a Google search for Benghazi polling turns up a lot of stuff from Fox about how this will hurt Hillary in 2016. Must be some glitch in their fabled search engine software, IMHO.
Wow, Cerb, publishing and speaking on a panel ! I’m impressed.
As for who all will emerge from the woodwork – well, haters gonna hate – your very existence excites their outrage lobes.
I hope the event is well attended and goes off well – teach the basterds that even a minority of a minority deserves respect.
Good Luck in the real world and you always have us all at your back.
They are just preaching to the choir now, desperately trying to find anything that will resonate scandal to the voting public. Unfortunately for them they have nothing.
Soon the Benghazi truthers will take their rightful place with the birthers.
At another site, some guy was carrying on about Benghazi and he kept typing “Christopher Stevens and three other brave Americans”. I chased him away by noting that, if he had really cared, he would have known the names of those other brave Americans.
I’m a Beatles fan, I really like the music of John and those other three guys.
Maybe that’s why he nymjacked the original Some guy: stealing somebody else’s identity is the only way he can have one.
Austin: That thought has also occured to me. Several times. If the creature weren’t so tedious and tiresome, I would be moved to pity rather than scorn.
Hi Fenwick! I get a kick right now from seeing your nym because there is a hockey stat called Fenwick: http://proicehockey.about.com/od/scoresandstat1/fl/Corsi-PDO-and-Fenwick-3-hockey-stats-you-need-to-know.htm
It’s Stanley Cup playoff time! GO WILD!!!!!
Herr Loadhosen
Perfect.
It’s nice to see how fast the trash is being cleaned up around here now.
Indeed. I seldom encounter any actual detritus on the streets. Another tip-o-the-hat to the fine Public Works volunteers.
To understand FenClose we first must understand what Fenwick is. And just what is Fenwick? Well, it’s pretty much the same thing as Corsi
I’ve been trying to explain that to people for years! Corsi is my evil twin brother. Even though our DNA is ‘pretty much the same’, I’ve never spent time in prison on federal racketeering charges. (In fact, I’ve never spent any time in prison at all: I was acquitted of the ritual ax murderers. Okay so it was on a technicality, but–hey!– an acquittal is an acquittal.)
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/02/business/hoping-to-fend-off-suits-gm-to-return-to-bankruptcy-court.html?_r=0
Of course, it’s all Obummers fault.
I would be moved to pity rather than scorn.
If this site were to shut down due to the loons efforts, what would he be left with?
Irony’s corpse is taking another beating. http://aattp.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/dggrg.jpg
Nice explanation of the term “microaggression”. I had thought it was a stupid term (why not say “small” instead of micro?) but it makes sense if you think of it like microabarsions wearing people down.
Why can’t I get money posting on tumblr? I mostly just say stupid things about Homestuck or whine about the buses but I think I’ve cranked out at least a few intelligent lines.
People’s Front of Bundystan vs Bundystani People’s Front
And all to defend the mooching of a racist thief.
It wasn’t Hilary Clinton or Susan Rice that turned Benghazi from a tragic event into an ongoing joke.
Hmmm. Go see Goldberg or Cerberus speak at a university? I think the choice is clear, and if we looked further into it, the speakers’ fees should probably be switched as well.
If this site were to shut down due to the loons efforts, what would he be left with?
Not a particularly clever or incisive question, imo. To even pose the question only fuels its delusion that it somehow matters in the slightest or has any influence whatsoever. In my view, by positing there might be some causal relationship between the ‘loons [sic] efforts’ and a hypothetical and imaginary ‘shut down’ of Sadlytown, you feed into the creatures fondest and most tightly-held illusion. Not particularly helpful to the commonweal … especially in light of your historical baggage of needlessly provoking it. Just sayin’.
Gee, I’m cranky today. I blame Benghazi.
I think it is time for some sweet smoke and designer Black Cherry soda–a break from coffee–and checking into bazeboll. Fun with small samples: If the MLB season ended right NOW, before any of the Saturday games are complete, Charm City would go into the playoffs as the AL-East champion.
What’s all this about Ben Gazarra? Isn’t he dead?
Instead of engaging with Mr. Boring, I think I’ll share my latest radio show instead. Hope you enjoy it.
But, you know, he would feel so sad without us. In fact, I think that if nobody responded to him for, say 10 days, he might finally see the error of his ways, and if he doesn’t , nobody has wasted their time with him for 10 days, which, in the words of Martha Stewart, would be a good thing.
Just a suggestion, if you know what I mean.
Really? Coming from you? Please, follow your own advice.
IIRC, Dubya was at his remedial reading class when the towers went down. He still hasn’t caught up to them eight-year-olds.
It may be cruel to mock the afflicted, but some are only too willing to impose their affliction on the rest of us:
http://www.thenation.com/article/why-dubya-cant-read
Just a suggestion, if you know what I mean.
No I don’t know what you mean. Care to elaborate? I don’t even know what your ‘suggestion’ is. Howsabout some clarity? (For a change.) You want to know who’s pissing me off right now? Well, it ain’t the goddam troll. Right now, I’m entertaining the idea that equal-opportunity Scrubbing Bubbles might be in Ville du Sadlie’s best interest, after all.
I don’t often get a burr under my saddle like this. But you put it there, buckeroo.
People’s Front of Bundystan vs Bundystani People’s Front
Someone should have tossed in some firecrackers and shut the door behind them.
Hilarity ensues.
Major, I was actually afraid that something like this would have happened back at the height of the big standoff. One of these trigger-happy loons is finally gonna get his rocks off.
A few years ago I worked one summer with USGS helping with salmon studies in eastern Washington and I could feel the stares as we drove into some of those small towns with our government truck. Some poor grad student is going to get whacked by one of these bastards just for being in a government truck.
A few years ago I worked one summer with USGS helping with salmon studies in eastern Washington and I could feel the stares as we drove into some of those small towns with our government truck. Some poor grad student is going to get whacked by one of these bastards just for being in a government truck.
That’s the real crime of the paranoid right-wing noise machine- some innocent kid who wants to contribute to sustainability is seen as an enemy by a paranoid person he’s trying to help.
To understand FenClose we first must understand what Fenwick is. And just what is Fenwick? Well, it’s pretty much the same thing as Corsi
I’ve been trying to explain that to people for years! Corsi is my evil twin brother. Even though our DNA is ‘pretty much the same’, I’ve never spent time in prison on federal racketeering charges. (In fact, I’ve never spent any time in prison at all: I was acquitted of the ritual ax murderers. Okay so it was on a technicality, but–hey!– an acquittal is an acquittal.)
But have any of you seen Fenwick and Corsi together at the same time? HUH? I rest my case.
That’s the real crime of the paranoid right-wing noise machine- some innocent kid who wants to contribute to sustainability is seen as an enemy by a paranoid person he’s trying to help.
Well said.
S. cerevisiae said,
May 4, 2014 at 3:11
Clarence Fucking Darrow.
Pup, I made the best batch of Yorkshire pudding yet- I put in an extra egg in the batter and made sure the muffin pan was screamingly hot before I poured it in. Every single one popped up nicely. I think I must make creamed nettles and serve it inside the Y.p.s.
A link to a doc file? Really? Can’t bother with a portable, sandboxed format like, I dunno, PDF? Sheesh. It’s like it’s 1996.
Also, I couldn’t open it with my version, which was even more annoying.
I don’t think that “Uncomfortable Learning” is a young conservative front. It appears to be a program about bringing in creepy bigots as specimens for study…hence the unexpected turnout. http://gaudino.williams.edu/hist-23-uncomfortable-learning/
Also, awesome article, Cerb, as ever. Jonah makes his witticisms and then never considers that maybe he’s not the smartest guy in the room.
S. cerev: USGS rocks!
OMG: YOU, madame, have out-Twained Twain! Even Alexander Pope would have been hard pressed to write a put-down as elegant as this:
Some people have something to say to the world.
Something new to present. New ways of thinking. New approaches to old problems. A valuable insight to a perspective often ignored. Or a gifted way of turning phrases that aids one in putting together some annoying puzzle or in beautifully illuminating that which has been said before.
Some people are gifted orators who could speak for hours about any topic. Never growing dull for a second and always worth listening to.
Jonah Goldberg… is not one of those people. He isn’t even one of the people at the bar wishing they were one of those people. He’s the people who pays the club owner to kick those people out so he can get back to monopolizing the dull cocktail conversation about whose yacht can run over the most baby seals.
I could feel the stares as we drove into some of those small towns with our government truck.
Perhaps part of their hositility might have had something to do with your facial features and skin tone? Perhaps being in a Gubmint Truck merely aggravated their hostility? I mean, there are so many overlapping forms of paranoia and racist wackitudeness that’s it’s often difficult to identify a single trigger for the fear and hatred.
Also congratulations, Cerb: May the panel and publication expand the borders of Greater Cerbia!
(((Also fuckety-fuck you, WP. I am NOT posting too fast.)))
Re USGS: they now do a lot of science for other agencies like F&W since a while back the politicians decided to separate the science from management issues. USGS is seen as a pure science agency.
Cerbs: Like a whispered conversation amongst golf fans.
I bet I won’t read a better line on the internet all month.
This is just the best Sunday!
.
Creamed nettles on Yorky pud sounds deli… Wait … I’ll come in again
Yorkie pud? See, I knew Rick Santorum was right!
Yorkie pud? See, I knew Rick Santorum was right!
Yorkie pudding would be almost as disturbing.
Santorum was right, all those assholes at Cliven Bundy’s ranch are there to fuck tortoises.
What’s that? Who’s hiding the Benghazi donuts? I’m hungry.
Heh, “Trey Detective”. This goober is bound to head up a true clusterfuck.
Please please please make the runup to the elections ALL about Ben Gayzi please please.
I have a list of card carrying communists in the State Department.
I don’t often get a burr under my saddle like this.
I’ve been cogitating about the up-thread friction. The ‘burr under my saddle’ ALSO emerged in friction yesterday afternoon in a CBS-Sportsline chat-room during the Orioles-Twins game. No Dennis there. No DA there. And so ….
I now apprehend more fully what was / is happening. As you know, I have a mood disorder. There has been a delivery-glitch in re-filling / delivering two (of three) VA prescriptions that help control the condition. So–in fairness to DA–the ‘burr under my saddle’ may have been the disease at work … with two-thirds of my medication defenses diminished. Fortunately, I understand what is occuring–which wasn’t always the case–and can patrol my thoughts more closely using techniques I acquired during a decade of counseling at Johns Hopkins.
‘To apprehend’ is such a subtle verb. (1) to understand (as in thought); (2) to capture (as of a criminal).
You know who ELSE is from Greenville South Carolina? George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina that’s who!
If the current U.S. House of Representatives wasn’t the laughing stock of the goddam universe, I might think this bullshit had some relevance to reality.
.
Someone is clearly aware of all internet traditions.
Trey Gowdy had better be careful. He’s horning in on Darrel Issa’s action. He might get his car stolen if he keeps this up.
We haven’t forgotten you, George.
It’s so hard to resist feeding it when it keeps trying to taunt me with non-sequiturs. Gawd give me strength.
S.cerev: I was just going for a cheapie Geology + Disc Jockey joke! I am a complete USGS junkie. Like paleo, I have a huge layman’s interest in geology; I’m fascinated by crustal processes and–above all–topography.(*)
Also, one of my brothers is Prof of Chemical Geology at U. Oregon. I absorbed some of his enthusiasm for ‘rocks’ from our childhood. The Geology Department has some lovely wall-sized USGS maps, drafted with such precision and brilliant color-keyed representations of many, many types of rock … well to a Map Junkie like myself, they are works of art, as much so the painted wall-maps in the Vatican.
Most of the USGS work in the New Mexico office concerns water and irrigation: Among the huge web of my sister-in-law’s Albuquerque relatives is a USGS chemical geologist specializing in hydrology. One of her current projects concerns the Navajo Nation’s plans for fracking tribal lands in northwestern New Mexico.(**)
(*) Also like paleo, I get a kick out of dinosaurs and extinct critters, establishing the fossil-record, particularly as studies in evolution. (One of my neices’ is a professor of evolutionary biology.) I’ve always been fascinated by critters, extinct or living. As USGS’s work seldom (directly) involves paleontology, this comment seemed better as a footnote.
(**) When she told me about the USGS study for the Navajo Nation, I asked her, as a scientist and geologist she thought of fracking in general … and of the Navajo fracking in particular. I told her my questions came from curiosity, and said I didn’t want to put her on the spot, as I knew the Navajo Nation was the USDS ‘client’ on her project.
Her reply was diplomatic, but eloquent enough: “Well, about fracking…” She left the sentence hanging, made a just-swallowed-lotsa-lemon-juice grimace, glanced up at the ceiling in frustration, shrugged her shoulders “…It’s the Navajo Nation. What are you gonna do?” The Navajo Nation is the largest tribe in the U.S. It is influential, and controls a vast swath of contiguous territory in NM, Arizona, and Utah; the Navajo Nation covers an area approximately the equal to the contiguous states of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island.
… now [George Tierney is] just as forgotten as Sandra Fluke is.You haven’t forgotten Sandra Fluke, either. But everyone else has.
Some guy brings up Sandra Fluke (he remembers her) in order to claim that certain others, who didn’t bring her up, remember her, but nobody else does.
Just can’t get enough of the fail.
Cafe du Bery had rave reviews but it wasn’t all that. The Bennys were good, made with very good ingredients but somehow managed to be less than the sum of its parts. The French toast, which several reviewers said was the best they ever had, was very good with a nice custardy insides but it was far from the best I’ve had. That honor would go to Tasty and Alder – the latest of John Goreham’s must go to eaterys. That rendition might even be better than my own.
***
What’s all this about Ben Gazarra? Isn’t he dead?
&
George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina
Pup is on a roll today.
I think it’s high time this crack team of Congressional investigators reopened the Whitewater case. There are still so many questions to ask!
I think Teapot Dome could use another look while they’re at it.
Hey Pup, I’m just curious on how you make YOUR bennys, particularly the proper way to do the sauce. Just have a little mercy on us folks who are currently living in the sticks and have to make do with stone knives and bearskins (and very little in fresh ingredients unless it is summer).
Yes I miss the Willamette valley, why do you ask.
Hey Pup, I’m just curious on how you make YOUR bennys, particularly the proper way to do the sauce. Just have a little mercy on us folks who are currently living in the sticks and have to make do with stone knives and bearskins (and very little in fresh ingredients unless it is summer).
On the stone knives and bearskins front, I picked the first of many fucktons of stinging nettles, so it’ll be creamed nettles, nettle pesto, fettucini with nettles, and nettle “spanakopita” for the next couple of months.
A young woman I know (super hot redhead, for the record) got a job at a new “farm to table” restaurant near my workplace, and I told her I could get her bushels of nettles for the “locavores” the place is trying to attract.
I also got some dandelion greens and some Japanese knotweed, and ate some redbud flowers which tasted particularly sweet after nibbling on a bitter dandelion leaf.
I had some wild boar in my freezer so I took a recipe for springtime lamb stew (from Provence) and substituted the boar. Worked pretty well actually.
That sounds really good. I finally got around to trying out that “put sliced potatoes under chicken when you roast it” trick. Talk about good!
My mother made the Best Yorkshire Pudding Ever. She used a muffin pan and either dripping or lard, heated to as high as physically possible. She claimed that’s what made them so special – hot heat from the start. I had to use the leftover batter in the bowl to mix up the gravy. Sorry – the memories are strong today.
Sunday night, after the roast whatever for lunch, we had toast with dripping for supper. Exquisite. Proust and his damn cookies have nothing on me and dripping toast.
My mother made the Best Yorkshire Pudding Ever. She used a muffin pan and either dripping or lard, heated to as high as physically possible. She claimed that’s what made them so special – hot heat from the start.
That’s been my experience- heat the muffin pan for about five minutes, with a little fat in the bottom of each cup. I’ve never made them before this year, and I’ve gotten pretty good at making them.
Sorry – the memories are strong today.
Sunday night, after the roast whatever for lunch, we had toast with dripping for supper. Exquisite. Proust and his damn cookies have nothing on me and dripping toast.
That’s the important thing, memories of good times. One dish that always evokes childhood dinners is boiled potatoes with string beans, tossed with a lot of chopped raw garlic, salt, and plenty of extra-virgin olive oil. The heat from the potatoes lightly cooks the garlic, and the whole dish is divine.
I’m not sure I’ve ever actually had Yorkshire Pudding. I’m sure I have a recipe for it somewhere.
The recipe I’ve been using is basically equal parts egg, flour and milk (I use 1%, whole milk apparently gives you less than optimal results) with a couple of teaspoons of dripping, butter, or oil and a pinch of salt. I mix it all in a blender and let it sit an hour. Take a muffin pan, put a teaspoon of dripping in the bottom, and throw it in an oven heated to 450 for five minutes, until the fat in the pan is barely smoking. Pour in the batter and bake for fifteen minutes, then turn the heat down to 350 and bake another fifteen minutes. The result is a weird blend of souffle and muffin- if you do it right, the suckers “pop” up and have nice, hollow centers.
Totally awful name. The plant needs re-branding to make it seem more edible. Sort of like ‘sweatbreads’ or ‘calimari’ or ‘caviar’. Just look at the names of the dishes above. ‘Fettucini with nettles’ Mmm-Mmm, sounds delish, doesn’t it? I’ll take that with a side of raw cactii skins drenched with oxycodone sause.
Okay here are some attempts at rebranding nettles with into a culinary term that won’t scare the bejeebus out of patrons when they see it on menus.
Neat Greens
American Clover
Cerevus Stalks
BBBB: Still awaiting your views on Jackson’s LoTR … and why you disliked the film (+ examples / illustrations). Also, have you seen the Extended version of the movie ? Have you seen the DVDs’ Appendices …. particularly the ones discussing adaption of LoTR from a novel into a screenplay?
I got stung by nettles a few times as a child on the farm, and always thought they were VERY well-named. I had no idea they were good eatin’.
Totally awful name. The plant needs re-branding to make it seem more edible.
Fenwick, they actually do sting, as J. Neo Marvin observed. I pick them with gloves. With cooking or pulverizing, the sting is neutralized. I’ll parboil them and then treat them like spinach, but they’re better than spinach.
BBBB: Still awaiting your views on Jackson’s LoTR … and why you disliked the film (+ examples / illustrations). Also, have you seen the Extended version of the movie ? Have you seen the DVDs’ Appendices …. particularly the ones discussing adaption of LoTR from a novel into a screenplay?
I’ve been compiling an e-mail to send to you, not wanting to bore everybody else. To paraphrase a certain professor, I thought the movies “seemed fair and felt foul”. Certain changes, like “Arwen at the ford” I though made total sense from a narrative perspective, others were utter crap. Like I said, I’m making my case and I’ll, to use radio parlance, respond “off the air”.
I’ll take that with a side of raw cactii skins drenched with oxycodone sause.
Now that you live in Albuquerque, you should try nopales, the “pads” of the prickly pear cactus. While you’re at it, you should try prickly pears. Tomorrow being Cinco de Mayo, I’m planning on heading a couple of towns over to the City of New Rochelle to enjoy a fine Mexican meal.
You should also find a local place that serves paletas– these are popsicles made with fresh fruits, nuts and (sometimes) vegetables. My personal favorite flavor is a spicy gazpacho popsicle.
Sort of like ‘sweatbreads’
Rebranding FAIL.
Rebranding FAIL
Perhaps only bettered by “Greenland.”
In regular people foraging news, Stouffer’s frozen items are on sale at Ralphs this wk.
My mind keeps trying to figure out where “sweatbreads” might come from. Not very hard, orfor very long, because, well …
Perhaps a cacophemism for armpit-warmed sourdough.
Geez. One little, tiny, eensie-weensie typo and the whole world jumps on it in mockery….
Mmmm yeasty
“… the same political-correctness spiel we’ve been hearing for decades.”
Blink.
Blink.
(Waits for Goldberg to catch the irony)
(Realize he’s waiting for Jonah Goldberg to catch irony)
(Sighs, leaves)
Benghazi truthers are hooked on the thought that there must be something nefarious that they can hang Obama with. They are convinced that the deaths of four diplomats in Benghazi must be the tip of a very ugly iceberg. They are convinced that Obama is engaged in the same kind of shady, arguably treasonous, covert shenanigans that Reagan and Bush Sr. were so fond of. They wish with all their might that they could catch Obama in some kind of Iran Contra CIA drug money for Iranian guns level perfidy. But Obama is either too smart to get caught or too smart to play those kind of stupid CIA tricks in conducting his foreign policy. If anything the Bush Jr. administration had done, (especially with regards to the money paid to contractors in Iraqi reconstruction) had gotten the same level of determined scrutiny, I expect that quite a few things worthy of indictment and prosecution would have been revealed. Of course I would have thought that engaging in torture of prisoners would result in indictment and prosecution of all involved but Dick Cheney and John Yoo aren’t roommates at Fort Leavenworth, so what do I know?
Helmut: Applause for the last two sentences.
A young woman I know (super hot redhead, for the record) got a job at a new “farm to table” restaurant near my workplace, and I told her I could get her bushels of nettles for the “locavores” the place is trying to attract.
you are such a slut…
Perhaps a cacophemism for armpit-warmed sourdough.
hmmmm…would this be an improvement on hot pockets?
you are such a slut…
He really is letting his Nettles Freak Fetish Flag fly this year, isn’t he?
you know i had to go mango hunting, right?
i’m just going to walk away now…
He really is letting his Nettles Freak Fetish Flag fly this year, isn’t he?
it will be interesting to see if his nettle foraging skills will help him get lucky…
S. Ceretc. – if you have a stick blender you can make crazy easy Hollandaise. Put an egg yolk in a cup or whatever just big enough to accommodate the blender. Add 1 tsp. water, 2 tsp. (Three is not too many) lemon juice, a pinch of salt. Meanwhile melt 1 stick butter in a small saucepan until its _just_ shy of browning. If you can’t pour from your pot xfer the butter to a measuring cup or sumpin. Pour the melted butter in a steady stream into the egg stuffs while blitzing continuously. Voilà, in seconds you got hollandaise. Probably need to thin it out with water. You can do the same thing with a stand blender. If you ain’t got those things I can give instructions but it takes practice.
If armpit sweat doesn’t impart enough funk, the asscrack is the next logical choice. Smaller individuals with asscrack-space limitations may be tempted to outsource their sweatbread production to Jonah, but sanitary conditions of his production facility are known to be subpar, and perhaps even deadly.
“Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I’m not going to just stand…!!”
“OH, oh I’m sorry, but this is [mockery].”
“Oh, I see, well, that explains it.”
“Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.”
Blanching the nettles.
but sanitary conditions of his production facility are known to be subpar,
grody…
Smaller individuals with asscrack-space limitations
[Sings] I wish I had a pencil-thin buttcrack / The Boston Blackie kind
sanitary conditions of his production facility are known to be subpar, and perhaps even deadly.
Partially due its location in a dingleberry forest.
Near a methane fracking facility.
Partially due its location in a dingleberry forest.
Near a methane fracking facility.
and the fromunda cheese factory…
Near a methane fracking facility.
We have long known of his indolence.
He’s famous for it.
also, his redolence…
Feliz Cinco de Mayo! I just had lunch at the lame-named but totally authentic Mr Taco in the City of New Rochelle (the owners are from Jalisco, but they were cool with having a gabacho celebrating a Pueblan holiday in their place). After three delicious tacos and a Dos Equis, I headed across the street to the local paletería to get a couple of delicious Mexican popsicles. If this is the result of the dangers of immigration, I will surrender quietly.
Explaining Pup’s pun for the non-chemists:
From Wikipedia:
I know, explaining a joke, etc., but I wanted to share.
Thanks, V. It was so far over my head that the Space Station screeched to a halt.
I was going to make “indole” a link but using my fone so I subvocalized “fuck it.” Indole is (one of the main things) what makes farts smell like farts.
You may compliment me on my cleverness at any time.
At very low concentrations, however, it has a flowery smell,[2] and is a constituent of many flower scents (such as orange blossoms) and perfumes
No wonder he thinks his shit don’t stink.
they were cool with having a gabacho celebrating a Pueblan holiday in their place
I had to look up gabacho.
On bbfk’s mango: I hope that was sarcasm.
Cerb: What do you think of people who say they are trans but don’t experience dysphoria?
Spox knocks Fox docs.
On bbfk’s mango: I hope that was sarcasm.
as the saying goes: sadly, no…
she also thinks steyn is awesome too…
Dear Reader (Including those of you who came here expecting a good ‘Dear Reader’ gag),
i guess that includes me, because yes, i did gag when i read that…i’m like cerb, here…wtf does that line even mean?
Top 10 corporate tax swindlers. I’m looking forward to writing-in Bernie for a third time in 2016. It’s a delight to vote FOR someone! The lesser of two evils is still an evil … and I’m done with that shit. So are all the Democratic ‘pragmatists’ here gearing up for the 2016 Clash of Dynasties, Clinton II versus Bush III?
(((No, all the mood meds haven’t arrived; still waiting on the bupropion.)))
Sorry, Fenwick. You’ll be chagrined to know that as an architect, I AM a pragmatist.
Not happy about the dynasty thing either. But throwing the Supreme Court for another generation doesn’t seem to be a viable solution. I have a kid.
Remember how this ended last time? I think you know damn well where I stand on the subject.
+eleventy to that.
Remember how this ended last time? I think you know damn well where I stand on the subject.
Yeah, if Hilary’s what it takes to put the GOP out of
itsour misery, so be it.It is great to vote FOR someone. I never have at the federal level. But they (Sanders or Warren) still have to get through a primary for the nomination. Now is the time to act–start campaigning for them. Clinton is in a bit of a treacherous spot here, having been sort of pre-ordained by the media. She’ll be vulnerable in 2 years and Biden doesn’t really stand a chance. But I’m voting for the dem that wins the primary to keep another Bush out of office. Even if it means holding my nose and voting for Clinton.
she also thinks steyn is awesome too…
Yeah, what’s up with him? I haven’t heard from/about him in a while. Is that lawsuit by Michael Mann eating up all of his time?
Another Bush, or Scott Walker’s crossed eyed stare face, or Chris Christie’s union busting asshole mug. It’s bad enough that Democrats have all but abandoned labor and picked up the “poor oppressed job creator” narrative, but letting another phony slob chickenhawk pretending to be a folksy cowboy or guy who uses the Jersey mob playbook for political strategy get the job again is just not something I’m willing to give my vote up for. It’s just not going to happen.
I get what you’re saying Fenwick, and I would give anything to go back in time and kill off all those strategists and court justices and party bosses that made this system what it is today, but we both know we can’t do that. We just have to play the long game and demand better education for kids, and demand accountability from our politicians somehow.
Remember how this ended last time? I think you know damn well where I stand on the subject.
Likewise.
Yeah, what’s up with him? I haven’t heard from/about him in a while. Is that lawsuit by Michael Mann eating up all of his time?
theories:
I would be more than happy to hear about the merits of non-Hillary candidates, but pardon me for thinking that the related discussion will tread familiar ground and serve only to rile, without helping anybody.
But whatever, I am girded for the next two years, in any case.
After 30 years of only pointing out how evil the other guy is, rather than actually, you know, actually standing up for Teh People the Democratic Party has helped make things generally more evil (welcome back to the Gilded Age). And unless the Dem PtB get an attack of populism and run someone I can vote for (of course, by the time anyone reaches Serious Presidential Candidate level the populism will have been pretty thoroughly broken off), I’ll probably be voting Socialist or Green for Prez in 2016. But I can afford to be “pure” – 1) by the time we vote, it’s pretty much been decided, 2) our mingy 4 EC votes probably wouldn’t make much difference anyway, and 3) the chance of HI not going Dem, even without a “native son” in the race, is pretty small. I do vote for the best Dems I can find in the local races, too.
Remember how this ended last time?
‘Deedy, I do. I’s mos askeert of being carpet-bombed by Good Democrats. I’ll be on my bestest behavior, believe me!
(((uncrosses fingers behind back)))
if Hilary’s what it takes to put the GOP out of
itsour miseryHmmm. Do you actually believe that premise, BBBB? Do you believe that the election of Clinton II would ‘put the GOP out of our misery? Seriously?
Look, let me put a question to the Good Democrats: Everyone in Sadlyburg knows–whether willing to admit it or not–that Obama and Clinton are both right-of-center politicians. Anyone care to dispute that notion? So, here’s a question I’ve posed before, but no one has yet answered: Which politician do you think is farther-to-the-right: Obama or Clinton II? (Fwiw, I think Clinton II is farther right.)
Tough to be surprised at–or complain about–the continuing rightward shift of the Overton window when one votes for that shift in election after election. Or so it seems to me.
Remember how this ended last time? I think you know damn well where I stand on the subject.
Represent! I’d love to see Bernie in the Oval Office but it ain’t never gonna happen. I would write him in but it’s a pointless gesture – sure it makes you feel good but if it endangers the rest of us, the whole country, by leading to another Bushian preznit then you do a disservice to us all. And yourself. Besides, Senator Bernie is needed in the Senate.
Think of it in terms of a boycott. Like grapes, or lettuce, or South African products to end apartheid. You exercise the boycott by voting for other parties or independents or writing-in candidates.
The Democrats–most especially the Democratic ‘leadership’–have a l-o-n-g history–running back to Clinton I–of punching the left as DFH. During election campaigns they will toss some phrases your way, words that ring like gongs and are just a hollow. I seem to remember some candidate talking grandly about government transparency in 2008. Same guy who earnestly promised to filibuster the so-called FISA ‘reforms’. Also about accountability for banksters who wrecked the economy. Also about accountability for war criminals. Hope. Change. Yes we can. Well, as it turned, no we didn’t. Same guy, who, instead of dismantling the worst parts of the Secrecy and Surveillance State, cemented it in place.
But after an election? Piss all over the progressive caucus, mock the liberals. No consequence at all, either, because they can always COUNT on the votes of Good Democrats next time around.
Look, if you believe in the Democratic party and want to reform it from within, then shake up the complaisant bastards by boycotting them.
I dispute that the cause of Overton motion is due to our votes. It’s the political landscape that has shifted. What would Barry have been like with two dem houses?
As for the question you asked, it’s pointless speculation. I have better things to do.
tagfail.
Yes, Obama and Clinton are Republican-lite. I don’t think anyone disputes that. Like I said–Sanders or Warren are the current favorites of mine, but the party is addicted to legitimizing right wing hacks, mostly because of the volume of money they attract and the insanely good propaganda machine they exploit. I don’t think anybody here wants to see Clinton win this thing over someone with morals and an understanding of governance in a society that isn’t underpinned by a war machine and plutocracy. We can’t do anything about the “one from each party” electoral ballot, but we can do something about the primaries. You’re starting this argument too early.
Incidentally, you might want to drop the “good democrat” bullshit. If you’re looking for a fight, that’s one good way to get one going with me. I’m not looking for a fight, but I’m asking you to make that the last time you post that shit in reference to us.
SC appointments matter. Casting a purity vote for Sanders accomplishes nothing.
The Democrats–most especially the Democratic ‘leadership’–have a l-o-n-g history–running back to Clinton I–of punching the left as DFH.
That’s why you NEVER VOTE FOR ANYBODY WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT. EVER.
Sorry Fenwick but I disagree. Things are never so fucked up that they can’t be made worse and the GOP are just the people to do it.
Holding out for some perfect progressive candidate is just going to get us a hellscape run by Tea Party nutjobs,neocon interventionists and fundamentalist theocrats. Plus a few more Scalia-clones on the Supreme Court just for good measure.
But hey! We sure showed those Democrats what for! Nothing like cutting off your nose to spite your face – with a chainsaw.
I sure can’t wait for President Walker and Attorney General Arpaio.
if it endangers the rest of us, the whole country, by leading to another Bushian preznit then you do a disservice to us all.
Hmmmm. Not sure that I follow along with what you are saying? Are you suggesting that voting for a NON-Republican, NON-Democrat would make that voter responsible for the election of the Republican? Wow, that’s some pretzel logic you got there. How about if I don’t vote at all? Still responsible for the Republican’s election, I suppose?(*) From whence comes the assumption that I owe the Democratic Party my vote?
(*) I’d be careful about giving any Republican that kind of mandate: If you didn’t vote for the Democratic candidate or didn’t vote at all, then you are responsible for electing the Republican. Considering that @ half the eligible population doesn’t vote, that would have given Bush II a ginormous 70% mandate. Hey, it’s your logic, not mine.
What would Barry have been like with two dem houses?
Look at the 111th Congress. Even had the 60+ supermajority in the senate.
if it endangers the rest of us, the whole country, by leading to another Bushian preznit then you do a disservice to us all.
Okay. If New Mexico goes Republican by one vote … AND New Mexico proves to be the deciding margin in the Electoral College, making me responsible for the election of Bush III (or Walker or whoever the Heebie-Jeebie man of the moment is), then perhaps I’ll express my remorse for writing in Bernie Sanders.
Short answer: Yes.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think it’s a matter of context. If you’re voting in a state that everyone (not just Kousin Karl with The Math) knows is going to vote overwhelmingly one way or the other, you are free to vote for whomever you wish without worrying about inadvertantly allowing a greater evil to gain office. But if it’s close, hold your nose and vote for whichever of the two major parties you think/hope will do the least damage, because peeling protest votes off the lesser evil does give the greater evil that many more votes. Sad, but true.
And agitate for better local candidates, and instant-runoff voting. Sigh. And a unicorn, I know.
Willy: Eggs-actly. Presidency. Both houses of Congress. And a Senate supermajority to boot. Judge them on what they accomplished with all the reins of government in their hands. Or, if you like, judge them on the effecitiveness of their opposition during the Bush I presidency.
The wingers gathered a bunch of power by running for local school districts, municipal elections, precinct chair, state government, etc.
Sitting back and writing in your favorite progressive on a national ticket doesn’t accomplish shit except fueling your sense of superiority. TAKE OVER the dem party with real progressives from the inside-out instead of writing them off altogether.
The wingers gathered a bunch of power by running for local school districts, municipal elections, precinct chair, state government, etc.
Sitting back and writing in your favorite progressive on a national ticket doesn’t accomplish shit except fueling your sense of superiority. TAKE OVER the dem party with real progressives from the inside-out instead of writing them off altogether.
yep…
Fenwick, sweetheart, why oh why are you starting the purist-vs-pragmatist fight two years out from the election? Then, bloody trolls will join in and a clusterf*k of biblical proportions will ensue.
Please, drop it – not forever, no, no – but just for a while longer.
For the sake of peace and harmony among Sadlyburgers, and my personal tedium meter.
A “supermajority” relying on “liberal” Joe Lieberman (and the other “Democrats” like him that are thankfully gone), isn’t a particularly useful supermajority.
Gee, this conversation was lively. Maybe I shouldn’t have been such a provacateur; if I went overboard, I apologize. The main take-away from the discussion should be clear even to creatures hiding in the culverts:
ALL liberals and progressives–every single one of them–march in precise lockstep ALL of the time on EVERY political issue. The is only ONE path to a mutually-desired destination.
Or is that just me?
‘There is’
Also, since we’re rehashing the exact same shit we did two years ago I’ll just say now what I said then, to save time:
ALL liberals and progressives–every single one of them–march in precise lockstep ALL of the time on EVERY political issue. The is only ONE path to a mutually-desired destination.
i hope this is sarcasm…
Dude, you’re the one arguing for purity of essence here. It doesn’t matter one whit to you that we have an administration that has done lots of good things they’ve also done bad so they’re not pure enough and must be purged. We’re the reasonable ones that understand that politicians suck, you try to pick the one that sucks less — holding out for the pure gets you less than nothing.
I’ll outsource the rest to Erik Loomis at LGM.
i hope this is sarcasm…
It was…
Great news Cerb, and another fantastic evisceration.
…
To change the subject entirely, I opened my Yahoo email account today and there was a “sponsored” email i.e. an ad for LouisVuiton branded bags. Isn’t selling fake branded bags illegal? Does this make Yahoo a fence or something? Please advise.
It’s Hillary. It’s only Hillary. And you don’t have a choice and you don’t have a say. You merely have a lever to pull and then it’s back to soup recipes and baking muffins.
Hahahaha.
you know, i might actually enjoy that…it will drive my mom nuts…if we thought wingnuttery was high during obama, just wait…
march in precise lockstep ALL of the time on EVERY political issue.
There’s your problem, right there.
Liberals range from outright communists to center left moderates. Given that the party WILL nominate another fucking establishment candidate (I think we can all agree here), that leaves us the write in or a non-Democrat liberal type (Green, maybe, but not likely since they couldn’t organize a glass of water). So with write-in candidates, who wins? How do you establish wide appeal among voters who have all sorts of different issues they consider to be paramount? Guns, womens’ issues, drug decriminalization, education, health care, ending wars, blanket surveillance…
Remember that they’re aiming for the left. There isn’t that much “LEFT” left in our society. So you’re basically hoping that all these disparate interests coalesce around one candidate with wide appeal…just like the Democratic party, right? I just don’t see how that is going to take enough votes away from both parties to actually get something going.
SA votes tomorrow but ours is nowhere near as interesting as yours.
The ANC will win and Jacob ” thug” Zuma will be Prez for another five years. Cry the beloved country, indeed.
I just hope the Western Cape (my province) stays DA – not because I think they are so terrific but we are the only province out of 10 that is not ANC-ruled. Thank FSM.
The point is that almost nobody is paying any fucking attention. Almost nobody has any grasp on history, even as recent as a year ago. Shit, the electorate (according to Pew), has already forgiven Republicans for shutting down the fucking government and costing all those jobs and money. Even among those who are paying attention, it is still more difficult to find people capable of understanding nuanced argument and the complexity of issues like guns, abortion, health care, education, etc. It’s one thing to shout bumper-sticker type platitudes at your friends on Facebook, but it’s quite another to understand that what you actually know is only an imperceptible, quantum size dot in the universe of understanding, and that not everything fits inside your own paradigm and value system and holy shit am I off on a tangent here sorry i’ll show myself out.
Suez; You guys have a lot of growing pains yet to come. No nation escapes the damage of colonial subjugation. It takes time, and sometimes you take more steps backward than forward.
We all got our fingers crossed here for ya, tho.
oof, suez, i find other countries’ elections much more exciting than ours…ours are just the same old batshit ramped up to eleventy…whats anc and da?
ANC is the ruling party – Mandela was its leader back in 1994 when we first had elections and I happily voted for them. Good socialist-leaning, leftist bunch who were the main push behind our struggle against apartheid. Partners with the SA Communist Party and COSATU (trade union federation).
Democratic Alliance is the chief opposition party. Started as a whites only party under apartheid and has retained that stigma. Led by Helen Zille who talks a good talk but is really centre-right, business-first person.
Oh – ANC had been screwed over by Zuma – a corrupt rapist with 3 wives and another lined up who is functionally illiterate and achieved power by a combo of bribery and outright brutality. I loathe him with the heat of …
Well, you catch my drift.
whats anc and da?
African National Congress and … uh … troll provacateur?
Oh – ANC had been screwed over by Zuma – a corrupt rapist with 3 wives and another lined up who is functionally illiterate and achieved power by a combo of bribery and outright brutality. I loathe him with the heat of …
Well, you catch my drift.
ha, i guessed something or someone happend to the anc that would cause you to vote da*
so, ‘poisonwood bible’ is one of my favorite novels…have you read it and if so, what’s your take on it?
*no, not the troll baiter…
bbkf : I read the Poisonwood Bible some years ago and I remember it as so involving it made me cry at the truths in it. So I put it away and said I’m never gonna read that again – makes me sad – and now I can’t remember much about it, to be honest. Except for girls, missionary father, Africa, pain.
Also, when we have a guy go from oppressed underclass political prisoner to president, then you can call our elections interesting. Ours are have only gotten slightly more interesting in the last 8 years (meaning having a woman and a non-white male have a real shot at winning).
tsam : this is not a criticism at all, just a point of interest about different cultures.
You can’t call a SAfrican a non-white because it is seen as an insult because the apartheid regime used to label their “petty apartheid” signs, like on trains, beaches, benches, restaurants, whatever “whites” and “non-whites” only i.e. using the “white” as the standard.
Erm .. if you see what I mean.
You can’t call a SAfrican a non-white because it is seen as an insult because the apartheid regime used to label their “petty apartheid” signs, like on trains, beaches, benches, restaurants, whatever “whites” and “non-whites” only i.e. using the “white” as the standard.
Ah–I can see how that would be an insult. Come to think of it, that is probably a bit insulting here, although in this context it’s meant to say that Obama is mixed race, not specifically black or white. I suppose there are lots and lots of mixed race people in SA, but I can see how “non-white” would sting those not-so-old wounds. I hope I didn’t insult you!
Nope, not a bit, I knew what you meant.
Our current “racial classification” categories are : white, black, coloured et al.
Coloured = mixed race. They are the majority of people in the Western Cape (the first province with European settlers – could this be a coincidence?) and their ancestry includes Khoisan, Dutch and other Europeans and East Indies slaves who provided Cape Town with its influential Moslem population. Language mostly Afrikaans.
IMHO, most so-called African-Americans (including Obama) are not black, but Coloured.
Coloured = mixed race.
Coloured (or colored) is a BIG NO-NO here. That was a common term for southerners who were still racist as fuck but were slightly more polite than those who used n****r, which is probably the most insulting and vicious word in our vernacular. Language. What a mess.
Like your n-word, ours is the k-word (kaffir) against black people.
Against Coloured people, the no-no is Hotnot (Hottentot) the Dutch name for the Khoisan.
If any of my friends see this comment, it wasn’t me who said those things.
i find other countries’ elections much more exciting than ours…ours are just the same old batshit ramped up to eleventy
Perhaps this is because every other democracy in the world uses a parliamentary system of some sort … not a creaky rube-goldberg system that virtually guarantees minority rule and paralyzed government.
In truth, that’s my main objection. With a parliamentary system it would be (theoretically) possible to end the Democratic and Republican parties’ 150-year cast-iron stranglehold on American democracy. In my opinion, the only thing worse than a Two-Party system is a One-Party system. (Actually, given the corporate purchases of both parties, the US is becoming a de facto One-Party system.)
Also, old Fenwick is NOT a purist. I suppose I should expect to be labelled one in a US landscape utterly saturated with political binary thinking: Purist or Pragmatist. Republican or Democrat. Either-Or. No other possibilities, absolutely none at all. Well, I’m no purist. I’m a fucking saboteur … on a teeny-tiny scale, of course: I can’t do any meaningful damage to the colossus of the Two-Party system. I know that. But the vote is my only real weapon to express my political will … and I’m not going to waste it. I do NOT want the Heebie-Jeebie Republican ebil bogeyman of the moment. I do NOT want Hillary Clinton. I’m not going to waste my vote on either of them.
Gawd I hate racists. I’m not exactly “for” genocide, but sometimes I think racists should all be put on a barge and sunk over the Mariana Trench.
I’m not going to waste my vote on either of them.
That is certainly your choice, and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t help get this air of smug condescension from your arguments, Fenwick. Some of your posts seem to be implying that you’re smarter than the rest of us. Just my opinion. You’re not obligated to give a shit.
Fuck it all. I’ve introduced rancor and discord. Stubborn old curmudgeons have a way of doing that. I think it would be in everyone’s interest if Ol’ Fenwick just fades away into the shadows and goes into lurker mode for the rest of the thread. Again, apologies for raising the collective blood-pressure. Let’s go out with something pleasant See y’all in the next thread. Have fun.
in this context it’s meant to say that Obama is mixed race, not specifically black or white
I lost it with a Captain when he mentioned that his friend’s pickup truck had a bumper sticker saying “I hate his white half too”.
I said “I don’t think I’d like your friend”.
“Why’s that?”
“Because I think he’s an asshole.”
The conversation went downhill from there.
Also, old Fenwick is NOT a purist. I suppose I should expect to be labelled one in a US landscape utterly saturated with political binary thinking: Purist or Pragmatist. Republican or Democrat. Either-Or. No other possibilities, absolutely none at all.
this is what i dislike about our politics the most as well…aside from the obscene amount of money raised and spent on them…i will always vote outside my ‘party’ if there is a better, more viable candidate for whom to vote…i don’t identify as strictly one party…if only the independents could have gotten their shit together in the aftermath of jesse v, they coulda been contenders…or maybe they should have got their shit together before jessie…but, hey…i got my jessie check…now i’m just waiting for my obama phone…
I think it would be in everyone’s interest if Ol’ Fenwick just fades away into the shadows and goes into lurker mode for the rest of the thread. Again, apologies for raising the collective blood-pressure
oh, stop…
I got elected to the condo board. Don’t think I’d want to run for anything higher than that.
The skeletons in my closet have skeletons in their closets.
Fuck it all. I’ve introduced rancor and discord.
No, you haven’t. You KNOW what my rancor looks like. This is nothing close to it. I’m just telling you how the things you’re saying sound to ME. Don’t do the GBCW thing, and don’t just end the debate. There’s no need for that shit.
I got elected to the condo board.
HAHA! You must have pissed somebody off! My dad got elected president of the homeowners association where he lives while they were on an East Coast tour for about 4 months. He was SO PISSED.
Not sure what I was thinking tsam. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, my dad was pissed off because of the constant emails and phone calls about the wrong kind of cars in the neighborhood, who is cutting down which trees, blah blah blah. Basically these chickenshit busybodies wanted him to spend his time excoriating their neighbors for shit they did to their own homes because WHY NOT? Retired people…YIKES.
Actually, colored used to be a favored term among African-American, Negro often being seen as too close to nigger. Hence the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.
A condo board is a little more encompassing than an HOA because we actually own the buildings. It’s an actual Board of Directors. We have to deal with a budget and employees (we have full-time maintenance).
A condo board is a little more encompassing than an HOA because we actually own the buildings
Well that makes sense. This HOA is a bunch of retired Seattle cops, firefighters and city bureaucrats (ie–assholes) that spend a whole bunch of time worrying about what their neighbors are up to. I find that sort of shit extremely creepy and weird and I DON’T LIKE IT.
tsam skrev:
The simplest solution to that, in my opinion, is to kill television.
Hmm… It seems purity-trollish to me, but I see it all the damn time at other places, maybe I’m just venting.
Let me clarify: I think of purists as people who say “oh well, candidate X did this bad thing (or things) and even though he did eleventy other things I sorta like and a couple of things I really like, I have to disqualify him based on that bad thing. Yes, even though the opponent, candidate Y, did the same bad thing and eleventy-seven other horrible things that are worse than anything the other candidate did, and promises to dedicate a room in the white house to slaughtering puppies, I still couldn’t possibly vote for candidate X because that one particular bad thing makes them impure.”
So if you’re not doing that, no, you’re not a purist, and I apologize for the slight.
The simplest solution to that, in my opinion, is to kill television.
That’d be a damn good start.
I don’t watch television but I still have no attention span. I blame the Internet.
the no-no is Hotnot (Hottentot) the Dutch name for the Khoisan.
In a bit of almost synchronicity, the current post at some riddled joint features mantises. In Southern African indigenous mythology, Khoi to be precise, the mantis is a god. The Afrikaans word for mantis is hottentotsgot, literally Khoi god.
Look, if you believe in the Democratic party and want to reform it from within, then shake up the complaisant bastards by boycotting them.
Absofuckinglutely not. If you want to shake them up, get involved- show up for a local committee meeting. By opting out, you’re playing into the hands of the oligarchs. In 2010, I drove a half-hour each way to phone bank and canvass for John Hall, who was a damn fine congressman. He lost to a ‘bagger, but she had two years and was booted by an electorate who was ill served by her. By “boycotting” the party, you lose what little influence you have. Roll up your sleeves and show up to let the party know that the grass roots is paying attention.
The GOP relies on Democratic apathy in mid-term elections. Don’t fuck this one up because of some vain sense of purity. Purity won’t help Joe and Jane Schmo put food on their goddamn table. Look at the minimum wage vote and then tell me that there’s no difference between the two parties.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 7, 2014 at 3:00
Truth. I (used to be we, Teh Ho’s employer forbids some such things)* worked for numerous campaigns, mostly in pre-primary season.
*Went to a neighborhood fundraiser for Oregon United for Marriage, the donation had to be in my name. Though he doesn’t work in the news division, he is the public face of OPB so I can sort of see their point. They also told him he can’t donate to any political parties or candidates but I think that’s not legal.
While we’re on the subject,
NOM waited like 9 months to file and did so at the last minute in a petty and deliberate attempt to delay the ruling until AFTER the deadline to put the repal on the ballot.
While we’re on the subject, meanwhile in Pennsylvania
Yeah, THAT Daryl Metcalf Over / under on him getting arrested soliciting blowjobs at the truck stop?
Boycotting a political candidate (or party or election) is nothing like boycotting, say, tomatoes. With apologies to our dear friend Fenwick, it’s a terrible analogy, or range of analogies. I could explain why, but that’s not important, and the following isn’t that explanation.
By voting, I hope to exercise political power in a slightly more direct way than “sending a message” in the manner of a boycott.
In life (not just politics) I have observed that lesson-teaching and message-sending come in two basic flavors, direct and indirect. Direct is the effective one. Indirect is known by its purveyors’ description, mostly — looking for lesson-learning and message-receipt is fruitless, because it is a rhetorical, “tell not show” type of meaning-enforcement.
Indirect or rhetorical teaching and communication involves doing something (like voting, or not) and then declaring that it means X or Y. If your dog shits on the floor, and you beat your dog to teach it otherwise, you’d be stupid to think that the sentences you shout as you beat the dog are understood. But this is a bit like a boycott, in that beating a dog (or not buying a product) do not clearly communicate complicated ideas in the absence of explanation.
Humans are not dogs: they derive meaning creatively, perversely, however they please. The world’s best torturer cannot impose specific lessons and meanings on an unwilling mind. Brainwashing is imperfect in this respect, too: something is lost in the remaking. The students and believers and subjects that emerge or pitiful shadows of those flames one might hope to harness …
Not buying and not voting can come about for a vast variety of reasons. The purchase of mass-produced goods and the garnering of the votes of the masses share something: the individual buyers’ and voters’ reasons are jumbled up in the aggregrate … But I digress?
If you want to communicate a message to a party or candidate, tell them that message as directly and clearly as possible (and I don’t mean by voting). If you want them to exercise political power, vote for them as your “representatives” (LOL).
I’m a healthy, straight, white, college-educated male with a decent job and no debt whatsoever… lowest difficulty setting, top of the food chain, call it what you will. I could take my ball and go home out of some sense of outrage, but if I do, my black and hispanic and LGBT and female and young and old and sick and debt-ridden friends will suffer because of it. I refuse to let some sense of “purity” consign people to less-than-full citizenship. If you think for one instance that Hilary Clinton would be worse than Jeb Bush in the White House, that tells me that you’re thinking in a solipsistic manner.
I’m not exactly “for” genocide, but sometimes I think racists should all be put on a barge and sunk over the Mariana Trench.
That wouldn’t be racism but stupidism. Which I heartily endorse.
I’m a healthy, straight, white, college-educated male with a decent job and no debt whatsoever… lowest difficulty setting, top of the food chain, call it what you will. I *could* take my ball and go home
Noted for use on the singles sites
Noted for use on the singles sites
Now I need a picture of myself wearing a fedora…
Be careful, Major, I did that, then got elected President of the Board in absentia.
And we have our own maintenance staff too. I think it’s one of our strengths. They’re here to fix the little problems while they still are little.
Porcini and black pudding risotto for dinner. Porcini because they’re sprouting on the golf course down the road and no-one is eating them; black pudding because cravings.
Now I need a picture of myself wearing a fedora…
Photoshopped in front of the Eiffel Tower, of course.
That wouldn’t be racism but stupidism. Which I heartily endorse.
Except that I don’t think racists are necessarily stupid. Not all stupid people are racist, not all racists are stupid. But they lack one little thinking skill you can usually find in a Kindergartner: The ability to ask themselves “Would I want to be treated this way? If not, I shouldn’t act this way”. Every adult racist is capable of doing this. They don’t do it–not because they’re incapable of doing it, it’s just because they don’t want to. Which leads me to tsam’s law of racists: They’re not ignorant, they aren’t a product of their upbringing, they’re just shitty humans.
So last night someone or someones pulled out a gun and started shooting outside my apartment building. They shot anywhere from 3-6 times and then jumped in a car and drove away fast. I don’t think they hit anyone, as only police cars showed up not ambulances. I am especially not thrilled with gun culture and ‘responsible gun owners’ today.
I am especially not thrilled with gun culture and ‘responsible gun owners’ today.
Me either–especially after watching part of Chris Hayes’ show last night. There is a new(ish) technology out now, it’s an electronic trigger deactivating device that is paired with a watch you wear. If you aren’t wearing that watch, and if the watch isn’t within a certain distance of the gun, it will not fire. Seems like a good deal right? WRONG. The NRA and GOA and gun nuts everywhere are having a grand mal tantrum, which in some cases has involved death threats against a dealer who wanted to sell the system.
There is apparently a law in New Jersey that basically states that if that technology goes up for sale in the state, all guns for sale after that will require the technology. The legislator who helped put that law together agreed to remove that requirement if the NRA and GOA would back off and stop the hysterics. No sale.
Porcini and black pudding risotto for dinner. Porcini because they’re sprouting on the golf course down the road and no-one is eating them; black pudding because cravings.
Man, that sounds good. As an aside, the Dominican mashed plantain dish mangu supposedly gained its name when an American said, “Man, that’s good.” I love the story but don’t trust folk etymologies.
The watch also requires that you enter a code before it reads the weapon–so even if you were to store them together, a child couldn’t load and fire the weapon without that code.
This technology is compared to seat belts, I think that’s a perfect comparison. Seat belts don’t stop all fatalities, but they reduced them by a LOT. Reading far fewer stories about a toddler or adolescent dying from an “accidental” gunshot wound would be a nice thing for you and me.
the Dominican mashed plantain dish mangu supposedly gained its name when an American said, “Man, that’s good.”
Could the American have asked, “man goo?”
I’m convinced that gun nuts are a cult. Every kid shot is just another sacrifice to Moloch, or Zardoz.
Could the American have asked, “man goo?”
For the sake of his health, I hope not.
I think BBBB’s right. For a lot of them it’s gone into cult territory, completely bypassing the brain.
What tsam might have missed on the show is Chris saying NJ was willing to take the requirement out, how did the guy feel about the tech then? The guy did not even want to let Chris ask the question. When Chris persisted, the guy didn’t seem to understand that NJ was willing to take the part of the law that had him gibbering out, and anyway he had his talking point ready. “Only works 80% of the time,” which to him translated to “that’s 20% death!!!11!” Didn’t stop to consider that that 20% might include the technology allowing you to shoot your elderly relative anyway, nor that “not being able to fire your weapon” =/= “death.” Also, of course, he didn’t want to say/didn’t know where that 80% came from.
But that guy’s reaction to the idea of any control on his firearm was purely visceral. With all his sputtering, they probably had to wipe down wherever he’d been, after.
What tsam might have missed on the show is Chris saying NJ was willing to take the requirement out, how did the guy feel about the tech then?
I did mention that Chris had THE legislator on to go on record saying she would remove that requirement if they would back off and quit being stupid assholes. (That’s paraphrasing).
I did, however, notice that idiot fucking gun dealer making a video of himself doing shots of whiskey or some hard alcohol in the middle of a room full of firearms. Not sure why those things don’t rankle gun nuts–I know every time I see some asshole in a picture with his/her finger on the trigger, pointing the weapon in an unsafe direction, playing with the gun (practicing speed-drawing and shit), or drinking alcohol while handling a firearm, I want to do to them what my drill sergeants did to us when we were being dumbfucks with our weapons in basic training.
Also, of course, he didn’t want to say/didn’t know where that 80% came from.
The internet, of course. Where else would he get it?
CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION!!!!! Florida School Bans Bible During Free Reading Time CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION!!!!!
He was supposed to be reading something else, something from the curriculum. Shocking that christian supremacists would lie, innit?
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/05/06/bible-bully-right-wing-media-twist-the-truth-on/199190
Fenwick, do not take your ball and go home. At the same time be prepared to take it if you are gonna dish it out.
It should be clear that you are not going to convince anybody who has expressed to hold what you tend to call the “Pragmatic” perspective, or choosing the lesser of two evils.
I would love to start a revolution, but at the same time I did everything in my ability to thwart the installation of Alito and the establishment of a Roberts Court.
It is easy for one at the top of the food chain (and sorry to say buddy, on many measures you are) to dismiss a litany of concerns that potentially plague those of us on the fatter sides of the pyramid.
As I said during the run up to Bush V Gore; “It’s the Supreme Court Stupid.” Of course I attempted to make the argument in a much more subtle, and less antagonistic fashion.
…
Okay, this is pretty fucking cool.
Re: students reading Bibles:
In college I lived in a dorm for awhile. The hallways were narrow, but the double-occupancy rooms were sufficiently large. For some reason, groups of two to four young Christians would routinely hold their Bible studies in the hall. No chairs, just earnest dudes sitting cross-legged or against the walls. At least once an open dorm room door confirmed my suspicion that the room was available and better-suited for a Bible study session — unless conspicuousness was desired.
They wanted to pick up girls, like the earnest weenie playing acoustic guitar in the stairwell.
They wanted to pick up girls,
Yeah, I usually find the conspicuousness is by design. Same sort of people who stick those fish things and other nonsense about God on their cars.
tsam skrev:
Wow. It’s like… I want to know? But at the same time, I don’t want to know.
I wonder if any passerby ever pointed one of those conspicuous Christians to Matthew 6:5-6.
When I attended a state cow college, the cristian groups would mob any creative outlet. Karaoke? sing hymns. Poetry readings? recite original hymns. Open mic nights? all of the above. They were an earnestly tedious buzzkill.
They wanted to pick up girls, like the earnest weenie playing acoustic guitar in the stairwell.
Yeah, but that’d work better in a coed dorm. Girls were allowed in, but had reasons.
But yeah, I suppose it coulda been an evangelical form of peacocking.
I suppose it coulda been an evangelical form of peacocking.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
I want to do to them what my drill sergeants did to us when we were being dumbfucks with our weapons in basic training.
1: Remove the weapon from the maggot.
2: Secure web gear with both hands, sling maggot as far as possible.
One reason I stopped going to gun shows and my local shooting range was the amount of poor gun handling I saw.
The worst was the day Dad and “Junior” (age 10-12 I’d say) were in the lane next to me with Dad watching while Junior shot an AK-47.
“Bang!”
“Bang!”
“Click”
“Hey Dad! This thing’s jammed!” – as he swung the muzzle right past me.
I was so shook up I packed up my gear and left right then. Probably not the best way I could have handled it but I was pretty upset.
Alternative method:
Drill sergeants and range masters always carried a bore rod. Before any soldier exits the range or enters the classroom, he locks the action open on the M16 and the DS pushes the rod down the barrel, which unlatches the bolt and allows it to close, while visually confirming that no magazine is in the weapon. The rod is to be damn sure a round is not left in the chamber. (I do recall one round being found with that rod, and that kid had a LONG, LONG day. That kid, thankfully, was not me).
Anyway, sometimes they would smack us with that rod, which was small enough to fit down a 5.56mm diameter bore. Think getting whipped with a car antenna. Felt not good.
There’s an indoor shooting range here in Spokane. Last week a guy went in there, rented a pistol, shot himself through the head. (Suicide).
Gross.
“Hey Dad! This thing’s jammed!” – as he swung the muzzle right past me.
Wow. Way to be on top of shit, dad.
Last week a guy went in there, rented a pistol, shot himself through the head. (Suicide).
A woman did the exact same thing at the range I used to shoot at.
Buying a gun for the sole purpose of killing yourself makes less sense than renting.
My first couple college years were at a smallish Catholic college. Never had encounters with bibleblatherers. Well, aside from Fr. Prof. Dr. whoever. Fucking Jesuits.
I would hope this sort of thing would be right up there on the “do this and we’ll throw you out” list. Never even been to a shooting range, but if I ran one I’d want to have fiercely enforced safety rules, because the fallout from fuckups can be so deadly.
I would hope this sort of thing would be right up there on the “do this and we’ll throw you out” list.
Like I said, I was pretty upset at the time.
In 20/20 hindsight I should have gone to the manager (I had been a regular there for many years) and said “Look, either they never come back or I never come back, your choice.”
Buying a gun for the sole purpose of killing yourself makes less sense than renting.
Yeah, but blowing your brains out in front of a bunch of people is a pretty shitty thing to do. Fucking gas yourself in the garage like a normal person.
I know I would have let that dad fucking HAVE it. Those are mistakes you can’t afford to make. When I took my daughters shooting, I was always always always within arm’s reach of that weapon. I could reach out and grab it any time I needed too. I’d stand behind them, left side (away from the ejection port). I could hold their shoulders to keep them pointed downrange, explain how to line up the sites, keep them calm and focused, and keep everyone safe.
People just don’t fucking get it with guns. You take every possible precaution at all times–even if it seems kind of silly. You do that for the same reason you don’t hop on a motorcycle in a tank top, shorts and flip flops. For the same reason you wear your seatbelt, even if you’re just going to the store a few blocks away. Same reason you always use push sticks with a table saw.
You can make a mistake with a gun as easily as you just randomly drop your keys out of your hand occasionally. So you have to be on your game and focused at all times.
Guns are special magic talismans that infer all sorts of powers to the user. The price for these magic powers seems to be an IQ drop of about 50 (perhaps more) and a complete loss of all feelings of responsibility. Magic always has a cost.
The price for these magic powers seems to be an IQ drop of about 50 (perhaps more) and a complete loss of all feelings of responsibility.
I was raised by a cop where we could shoot guns in our own back yard, so all that stuff is pure force of habit for me.
I see the House Repigs are about to shove another Bengawzi Probe up the collective butt of our fine nation.
Now I need a picture of myself wearing a fedora…
NO!!! that’s ‘christian mingle commercial’ territory right there…
unless conspicuousness was desired.
always the objective
I see the House Repigs are about to shove another Bengawzi Probe up the collective butt of our fine nation.
stewart had what i found to be quite a delightful, yet infuriating, piece on monday night’s show…which i watched in re-run form last night because for some reason, unless i’m out and aboot, i fall asleep on the goddamn couch by 9:30 p.m.
step it up, hubbkf, is what i’m saying*
*it’s not because i’m getting old or anything…
Screams of FIRST AMENDMENT! and THEY’RE SILENCING CHRISTIANS IT’s PERSECUTION!!! in 5 … 4 … 3 …
Well, hell. Mine is a “no helmet” state, so not only are there guys (usually) riding around helmetless, many of them are attired as you described. We have a big military presence, so I’m assuming from their youth and fitness level that many, if not most, are in the military. I hope they’re more careful with their weapons.
Well, hell. Mine is a “no helmet” state, so not only are there guys (usually) riding around helmetless, many of them are attired as you described. We have a big military presence, so I’m assuming from their youth and fitness level that many, if not most, are in the military. I hope they’re more careful with their weapons.
Mine’s a helmut* state, so I see this outfit with a helmet on lots of younger dudes. I also once saw a fit woman with a helmet, bikini top and daisy dukes. I must say I was…um…happy about it, though the thought of her skidding down the street when some asshole pulls out in front of her or changes lanes into her makes me sad.
Also, I don’t hear about hardly any fatal shootings in the military (Aside from the mass shootings committed with personally owned weapons). For as often as you have large groups of young males handling rifles and ammo, you’d think there would be lots of fatalities. But then the NCOs keep a close eye on all those knotheads on the ranges, and the weapons are in the armory when they’re not being used for official business.
Even during the war, my sidearm was kept in the armory and only issued to me as I stepped to the aircraft. It was promptly collected and returned to the armory when I returned.
They’re known as squids. The etymology isn’t known exactly though there are several plausible scenarios. I got the impression from a popular motorcycle forum that riders in the military are required to wear helmets regardless of the law in whatever state they are in.
Now, I’m no expert on hair care, but those one-hunnert percent heterosexual twins who just got bounced from HGTV sure are wearing a lot of hair-product. I am reminded of this cartoon.
How soon before they’re caught spit-roasting Lindsey Graham?
Squid: Also a pejorative term for seamen/sailors (as if seamen wasn’t hilarious enough)
Yes: Even when I was in the military (87 to 89), all active duty personnel were required to wear helmets and a reflective vest at all times.
Now, I’m no expert on hair care, but those one-hunnert percent heterosexual twins who just got bounced from HGTV sure are wearing a lot of hair-product
Also muscles and clear skin. Not gay at all.
In the Air Force we were required to take a motorcycle safety course before we were allowed to ride one. This was back in the 1980s.
I think those college Christians were hoping someone would get annoyed at them for blocking up the hallway and tell them to quit it and the Christians could go PERSECUTION!
Are hair products a Thing with US males? I ask because I am seriously in lust with a TV guy – early 40s, lives in DC, straight – and he uses gel every day to make his naturally curly hair stand up straight. Is this the norm – are you a gel-user? SA males don’t seem to do this.
Inquiring minds etc.
Miss Mona!
More like Neal Patrick Hairless
Are hair products a Thing with US males?
Not with me, my dear Suezboo!
I use gel. Many of us do.
I was asking the NORMAL people, B4. Pshaw.
Really, tsam ? Huh – interesting.
I wouldn’t have guessed. I rarely even use conditioner.
But I am hobosensual.
hobosensual = slob ? Excellent word, CRA.
Come now. Hobosensual is a look, a lifestyle, an attitude. An arguably handsome man with a certain roguish, devil-may-care, road-worn quality about him. I won’t go so far as to say you’d like me, but I think there’s a hobosensual or two who lights your fire.
Thinking a young Kris Kristofferson here. Dennis Hopper too weird.
Oooh – I know. Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise – OK I see where you’re coming from.
Excuse me – the bunk calls.
From the Rolling Stone link:
discreetly! discreetly!
Dammit, it’s the first sentence! Yeah, it’s all correctly spelled, but it’s the wrong word.
OK, done now.
Come now. Hobosensual is a look, a lifestyle, an attitude. An arguably handsome man with a certain roguish, devil-may-care, road-worn quality about him. I won’t go so far as to say you’d like me, but I think there’s a hobosensual or two who lights your fire.
Let me guess, you were Mister January in Better Bindles magazine…
Call him Mr Bindlestiff.
Better Bindles, heh … just a strategically-placed stick-n-bindle, eh?
But I suspect real hobos (sensual or not) were/are seldom nude. Maybe once in a while, well-lathered in a crude shower. Not a good time to distract them. They really want to get cleaner, then.
Johnny Cash, “Sunday Morning Coming Down”
Glen Campbell, “Gentle on my Mind”
Merle Haggard, “I take alot of pride in what I am”
(Not definitive versions, but there you have ’em)
Most American sheep, “ram” division, have been convinced by advertising that they have to cover their bodies & hair in products.
Soap, shampoo & toothpaste cover all my needs, but, never having been socialized, I’m not a consumer.
Shampoo AND soap?!?! Looooxury!
Although now that I think on it I s’pose one with a malignant hairstyle does need a bit more sudsing than those if us that are folicly challenged.
Also: sudsing the bouffant.
Soap, shampoo & toothpaste cover all my needs, but, never having been socialized, I’m not a consumer.
A few years back, I was joking about how a one bottle clean-all product was needed so you could just wash everything. The one hurdle I just couldn’t conceptually jump was the toothpaste barrier. I can use dish soap in the shower and even clean my laundry with it, but toothpaste is the irreplacable product.
Most American sheep, “ram” division, have been convinced by advertising that they have to cover their bodies & hair in products.
I spend a lot of time outdoors, exposed to the elements, so I buy Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Lotion in 32 ounce bottles. This past winter being especially bad, I’d slather on a quarter-inch thick layer of the stuff before leaving the house for work.
Also, Cheez-It Chipotle Cheddar crackers… try not to eat the whole box!
I don’t eat a lot of junk food, but great googly-moogly, these damn things are addictive.
Soap, shampoo & toothpaste cover all my needs
The only reason I’m in this job is for the little shampoo bottles from the hotel rooms. I haven’t had to buy shampoo in nine years.
One guy told me his kids had never seen a full-sized bar of soap.
According to the text on the side, Dr Bronner’s peppermint soap can also be used as toothpaste. So there you go.
Come now. Hobosensual is a look, a lifestyle, an attitude. An arguably handsome man with a certain roguish, devil-may-care, road-worn quality about him.
As a member of the lower leisure class, I approve of this neologism.
One guy told me his kids had never seen a full-sized bar of soap.
The snort this elicited drew some attention.
…
I love chipotle, but it’s getting a little too trendy. I ordered a mushroom swiss burger on Monday, and it came with a chipotle sauce. Inexplicable! I asked for it on the side and dipped my fries in it. A good meal at a good restaurant, but WTF?
I use gel because I keep my hair short, and I have have this thick, strange hair that looks fuzzy without something in it. Also, I look good with my hair done, so I do it.
I also use conditioner because if I don’t, my scalp itches and I don’t like that.
You obviously give enough of a shit to comment about it, grandma.
I am reminded of this cartoon.
i just startled hubbkf with an excssive lol…
Most American sheep, “ram” division, have been convinced by advertising that they have to cover their bodies & hair in products.
and axe has the most odiferously odious line of products EvAr…
tsam uses product to look like this or like peeing Calvin
News from the ass-end of Africa :
1. Pleased to announce that the DA appears to have won in the W Cape.
2. Weather Bureau warning of extreme weather as the first winter storm system gathers over the Atlantic.
All one god-faith, cleaning product, and dessert topping!
My high school look (no shit–for realz)
Basically what I’m doing now
The latter requires a minimal amount of gel, NOT the kind that gives you the 90s wet-head look.
tsam uses product to look like this or like peeing Calvin
Peeing Calvin is VERY TOUCHY subject for me because that cartoon was so awesome. Cerebral, funny…and I was infuriated that it was co-opted by dumbfuck rednecks to show him pissing on other truck brands. NOT COOL.
The one that pisses me off the most is the one with Calvin kneeling before a cross. W. T. F?
All one god-faith, cleaning product, and dessert topping!
It slices! It dices! It cleans the floors and ejects the whores! Brush with it, eat with it, sleep with it, just don’t miss out on buying it! Call in the next 5 minutes and we’ll send you 175 more bottles, a $ 2,500.00 value, for only 25 easy installments of $100.00!!
The one that pisses me off the most is the one with Calvin kneeling before a cross. W. T. F?
I know, right? Seems like there is a copyright infringement issue going on here.
I hate the “peeing Calvins” and if I was Watterson I’d be apoplectic. I’d don’t recall Calvin peeing on anything, or having that expression. It was a great comic that doesn’t deserve the shitty pop-culture appropriation it got via those stickers.
… or kneeling in front of a cross. He didn’t do that.
I’m kinda sad that 80s Tsam didn’t have a mullet. My hair was naturally curly, so I basically had a big blond ‘fro. My “hair trajectory” was basically identical to that of Michael Stipe.
Dr. Bronner’s soaps no longer suggest using it to douche. NO LONGER ALL PURPOSE
… or kneeling in front of a cross. He didn’t do that.
Then how do you explain Calvinist religions?
I did try using Dr. Bronner’s peppermint liquid soap as toothpaste (didn’t want to pack a bunch of bathroom stuff). It’s very foamy. (Also has a slightly soapy aftertaste, as you’d expect.)
Current hair–Actual, not that actor guy’s
was basically identical to that of Michael Stipe.
Mine was a Duran Duran/Billy Idol hybrid. It had mullet aspects to it, like being a bit longish in the back.
Weather Bureau warning of extreme weather as the first winter storm system gathers over the Atlantic.
ugh! we are starting to thaw out here for which i am very grateful…it was a cold long ass winter…
and yes, peeing calving = annoying as hell…i haven’t seen cross kneeling calvin yet…if i ever do i will probably retch and make a rude comment…
… or kneeling in front of a cross. He didn’t do that.
Then how do you explain Calvinist religions?
HA! HE’S GOTCHA THERE!
There’s a funny cat picture in that photobucket linked above, for all you cat-o-philes.
i haven’t seen cross kneeling calvin yet
I think they’re more common in the South bbkf.
I’m actually surprised Bill Watterson hasn’t sued whoever is selling these things. He famously refused any and all licensing of Calvin and Hobbes.
Note that my mother insists that I was Calvin when I was a kid.
I’m actually surprised Bill Watterson hasn’t sued whoever is selling these things. He famously refused any and all licensing of Calvin and Hobbes.
I imagine most of the producers of these items are small operators who can close shop in an instant. Suing them would be like trying to swat mosquitoes with an 8-lb sledgehammer.
As much as bootleg peeing Calvin and kneeling Calvin suck, bootleg Bart Simpson in a biplane with a flaming engine saying “Crash and burn, dude!” was 100% awesome.
You’ve really been missing out.
My neighbor has a sticker on his truck of Calvin peeing on the word terrorism.
I love the one that says “please forgive me for peeing on everyone”
I love the one that says “please forgive me for peeing on everyone”
He’s not sincere, tho … as soon as he’s up off his knees, he’ll be peeing again. He even pees on his kneeling, praying self.
… or kneeling in front of a cross. He didn’t do that.
I do remember seeing Calvin & Hobbes strips which had Calvin interacting with dinosaurs, so he did completely disprove the theory of evolution though.
Pee all the way down…
My neighbor has a sticker on his truck of Calvin peeing on the word terrorism.
He’s one of those weirdos who doesn’t like terrorism? MOVE NOW!!
Pee all the way down…
Good lord. That’s just pathologically stupid.
Re: Calvin peeing on Osama bin Laden:
I wish I’d seen the look on bin Laden’s face whenever he wound up behind a truck with one of those stickers. Talk about road rage, I bet he got pretty steamed!
Christianists stealing IP and completely misrepresenting the character, shoehorning it into their delusion because SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL? I can scarcely believe it.
Good lord. That’s just pathologically stupid.
Poe’s law? The “my other truck – rubber testicles” bit leads me to think the owner enjoys thinking about people going “right on!” completely not getting it.
Christianists stealing IP and completely misrepresenting the character, shoehorning it into their delusion because SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL? I can scarcely believe it.
“Thou shalt not steal”, like “Thou shalt not kill” is merely a suggestion.
Alternate take… the shadow can only mock, never create.
Talk about road rage, I bet he got pretty steamed!
He didn’t have a sense of humor AT ALL.
Current hair–Actual, not that actor guy’s
that’s a pretty sweet mane…
we are in Minneapolis right now…there’s some thunderstorms going on back home…the dogs are out in the kennel and Lucy has probably completely lost her shit…. .which means Maeve will probably also and she’ll become just as neurotic as Lucy…
Poe’s law?
gads I hope so…otherwise there really are no words to describe it besides the aforementioned pathologically stupid…
that’s a pretty sweet mane…
You mean on the horsey??
Speaking of hideously bad graphics, I made a thing. I’m almost sorry.
It seems that someone wrote a short story (NSFW) based on the video for Gay Bar.
The book has 3 surprisingly glowing reviews. Hee hee. Pervs.
we are in Minneapolis right now
I’m going to be there tomorrow.
I don’t think there should be a gay bar. Anyone with the degree should be allowed to practice.
Ha. I always suspected that Pup is a Mithraist.
It seems that someone wrote a short story
Heh.
Speaking of metal and gay bars http://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/music/2014/05/08/metal-band-cynics-paul-masividal-and-sean-reinert-come-out-gay
Unaccountably, I find myself singing that to the tune of “Aerosol Grey Machine”.
Michael Sam to the Seahawks?
Smut Alternative : Ra, Ra, Rasputin Russia’s famous love machine
or summat like that. Boney M, IIRC.
Michael Sam to the Seahawks?
If he can play like he did in college in the NFL, I say bring him right the fuck on.
You guys know that the Seahawks SMASHED the Broncos in the Super Bowl, right? Right? It was AWESOME.
we are in Minneapolis right now
I’m going to be there tomorrow.
You both should see if paleo’s available.
Speaking of metal and gay bars
They’re following in the proud tradition of Rob Halford.
Smut Alternative : Ra, Ra, Rasputin Russia’s famous love machine
or summat like that. Boney M, IIRC.
Historical disco…
New post
If it’s wrong to miss Seb, I don’t want to be right.