Dec
24

Everyday is Pajamas Day




Posted at 0:28 by Cerberus


Is it just me or are the made-up right-wing scandals literally getting dumber by the second. What’s next, guys? How Obama’s sock color choice proves he hates America? Whether or not Obamacare whitens your teeth enough to protect America from darkies?

Charles C.W. Cooke Esq., National Id:
Pajama Boy: The Obama Machine’s Id

Conservatives have a weird relationship with marketing.

I mean, the whole image before substance deal that once were critiques of the shallowness of campaigns like Reagan’s or Bush’s have become major badges of pride. Which is one thing, but like a malignant tumor, it has grown from there into a full-out religion of marketing as something akin to a God or powerful magic spirit.

Marketing one’s “brand”, winning the “image war” has become conservatism’s one obsession and at every level there is a firm belief that throwing enough money at marketing or yelling really loudly to win the “day” should be able to rewrite reality, bend people to their wills, and erase all history.

We saw it with the “we create our own history” delusion during the Bush years, in the stunted confusion of Karl Rove when it turned out all the advertising in the world didn’t magically make Mitt Romney likeable, in every right-wing pundit trying to argue that fictional works prove that everyone is as bigoted and small-minded as they are, in the bizarre defensiveness about the Duck Dynasty star not getting his Constitutional Right to be on TV, and of course, most disturbingly, in the frantic and rabid responses to the existence of advertising from “the other side”.

Whether its a frothing reaction to some company not being bigoted bastards for once and using something other than young white straight people or something like Malkin’s sputtering rant about previous Obama advertising, they seem physically pained to see something dared presented in their last little bastion of lily white male dominance that can in the slightest way challenge them and see everyone’s job to be to protect this “real world” from the predatory tendrils of the actually real world.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Obama released a twitpic on his twitter feed! Clearly we have defeated the dark beast, for he is slain and routed and must clear the White House to make way for Sarah Palin, because as long as we rant super angrily and displace all our fucked up issues on a goddamned meaningless piece of fluff public announcement, then we can finally have that big win that will turn the last 5 years into just a painful haunting dream.

And the problem isn’t, as I claimed it was in my old Malkin post, that conservatives have difficulty telling the difference between real people and fictional people. Rather, it seems to be that they have decided that fictional people are better than real people and more important because real people tend to disappoint right-wing narratives by the messy business of not living in a world where the writers can bail you out of anything.

Real people disappoint, so let’s just discount them and focus only on the artifice of fictional characters, “reality”-TV actors, and marketing campaigns because those people actually present the world we really want to believe in. Where everyone is white, old fashioned gender norms still reign king, and everyone can own a massive apartment in New York on a bus boy’s salary.

It’s the last refuge of a dying ideology, so of course it must be violently defended. Advertising and advertising language become the sole battlefield and weapons and the only thing that should matter to a sheeple people willing to do whatever the TV or internet box tells them (as is proper) and swiftly and surely, they end up disappearing up their own buttholes in bizarre obsessions about nothing that leave the rest of us scratching our heads in confusion.

Take today’s post… no, wait, take this “bonus” post that Jonah Goldberg sent out to “lucky” readers who sign onto his email newsletter (which is why I’m linking to the fisking done by Roy Edroso at alicublog because fuck no am I going to be that big of a masochist for y’all).

I could easily write a whole second post just on the bizarre psychosexual issues that Goldberg dumps on a single image.

And how much it reveals the quivering anxious masculinity and fear of homosexuality that underlies so many of Jonah’s actions. Not to mention the bizarre sexual politics that were going on in the whole “wears the pants” interlude, which… yeah, I could easily write a full second post on this shit.

But instead, let’s look in on a different barrel of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION and unmitigated terror about a fucking twitpic.

Oh dear. The Obama administration isn’t doing very well with putting an empathetic face on its calamitous health-insurance law, is it?

Oh right, Obamacare.

Because of course this is just the latest tactic in conservatives’ prolonged tantrum about the existence of a slightly improved health care system. Which, seeing as how conservatives are sociopaths who only care about this issue, because it’s seen as a dangerous “win” for Democrats that will help them electorally with people who don’t enjoy dying of preventable illnesses, it’s all just extra fucking stupid.

Hey, Republicans? Are you worried that mediocre health care reform will hurt you electorally? You know what you could do other than digging your heels in and yelling no so that everyone can get a good look at how strongly you are against the notion of people surviving? Something that might save your collapsing party?

You could just get right out in front. Get together and demand a full European model redo. Say that this is your chief issue and damn the politics that would save our abusive health insurance system. Create a real governmental health system. Sure, it’ll be inconvenient to narratives and might mean accepting something that actually helps people, but by being the force “for” such an important system, you’ll gain that “loyalty” you are so afraid will kick in for Democrats and completely undercut them on this issue and save your asses.

And hey, if that is just too “liberal” to consider, you could also just shut the fuck up. It won’t necessarily stop reality from coming, but hey, neither is what you are currently doing, but at least it won’t keep you in the news as “those crazy fuckers who are still ranting about how evil it is to let you live”.

And it’d save you the stress of having to come up with a new distraction every two weeks to rant about incessantly in the name of “Obamacare bad”.

Or you could ignore all sense and continue flushing whatever remnant of your credibility down the commode in a desperate hope that enough advertising and screaming will make the Big Daddy Sky God rewind the clock and give you another chance to stop time from moving on without you.

That’s good too.

First, we had Julia, the creepy, eyeless, vision-of-horror from Brave New World whose life was run from cradle to grave by the federal government.

Yeah, I remember the last storm in a teacup about an advertisement. It was fucking hilarious. And it totally convinced all those uppity she-creatures that you weren’t reflexively antagonistic to their interests. Good job!

Then, we had Adriana, the painfully neutral and carefully ambi-racial stock-model-from-everywhere whose face became so synonymous with HealthCare.gov’s hilarious launch that she had to be replaced with a graphic plugging an 800 number.

I’m sorry, could we roll that again?

You didn’t actually manage to hide the way the model used wasn’t lily white drove you into a frenzied howl about how “those” people will grub up your nice clean white(-walled) doctor’s offices with their filthy black hands.

And now, courtesy of Organizing for Action, we have Pajama Boy, a metrosexual hipster in a plaid onesie who wants you to spend your precious Christmas days talking to him about the president’s vision for health insurance.

It’s a twitpic. A fucking twitpic. Hell, I’ll throw up the image up top so you can see it for yourself, but it’s a fucking meaningless throwaway advertisement, no more impactful than some kid’s selfie or some random vacation picture.

I mean, not to burst your bubble, but it just doesn’t fucking matter. I mean, yeah, I know you’ve seen liberals critiquing media messages and thought “I can do that”, but see, they are deconstructing the way a particular culture is sold to us through a unified monoculture built on tropes… and you… well, you’re ranting about a single twitpic as if it’s some home invader come to force you to gay marry Santa and praise Obama.

Let’s just say there’s a slight difference in purpose and scope going on.

Also, I’m a little fascinated by these wingnut responses to this random twitpic, because the subject matter is so empty and devoid of content, that it just becomes a glorious window into the glaring psychosexual issues that underlie the right-wing. Whether it is Jonah’s gynophobic anti-gay bully shtick or Charlie C’s odd “gay people will be in your home” fear, it reveals far more about the wingnuts themselves than the advertisement they seek to criticize.

Unlike your average Jehovah’s Witness, Pajama Boy has evidently managed not only to get into the warmth of your house to do his proselytizing, but to make himself a cup of hot chocolate and to get into his bedtime clothes to boot. That is to say, Pajama Boy is staying over — priggish facial expression and all — and he won’t leave until you’ve relented.

Like here.

An image of someone at home, intended probably by advertising convention to be someone with loving family and able to relax with them and just shoot the shit with them, is seen wholly as an invader.

The reaction is straight up violent about this random image. He is unwelcome, he has burst into “their house”, and needs to be taught a lesson, largely for failing expectations of manly aggression. This faggy little interloper “drinks hot chocolate” and doesn’t view family occasions as a full out war between people who will latch onto any semblance of weakness like a starving chihuahua on a random stranger’s ankle.

Which… if that’s their viewpoint, it paints a very sad picture of the type of “Christmas” and “family” they work so hard to “protect”, not to mention their likely interactions with any poor child or niece or nephew, or fuck uncle or grandma who dares come out or be anything other than a rigid cookie-cutter reproduction of their same bigot selves.

A child who is comfortable and loving is an “enemy”. A stranger. Something to destroy.

I’ve seen the aftermath of such attitudes, hell, in some ways, I am the aftermath of that, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand the small-mindedness that underlies it.

The Founding Fathers certainly couldn’t have envisioned Obamacare,

No, nor assault rifles or the internet, but that doesn’t seem to have stopped you from claiming that they did.

but one suspects that if they had possessed even the slightest inkling that the growth of government would lead to this, they might have expanded the underused Third Amendment to include Advocates of Change™, too. These, suffice it to say, are people you do not want quartered anywhere near you.

I know you’re using the same special conservative reading glasses that turned “hey, we should have a national guard” into “everyone can have infinite howitzers in their garage with minimal oversight”, but it still seems a leap to go from “soldiers can’t forcibly live in your house without consent” to “government should back up you kicking your kid out if he looks too damn ‘queer’ by which we mean jewish”.

Also, I don’t think it’ll randomly serve as enforcement for the zoning laws and passive bigotry that you hope will keep your little corner of suburbia as conservative and white as you can for as long as the dream will live.

But nice try.

When Twitter rather predictably exploded with derision,

Oh hey, another Argumentum ad Twitter.

Yeah, it didn’t work the last hundred times you tried that stunt. Whatever made you think it’ll work this time?

a few contrarians suggested that the campaign was deliberately self-deprecating — silly, yes, but explicitly intended to provoke a reaction and thus to guarantee discussion.

Well, I guess. It’s also a completely meaningless piece of fluff. A bit of holiday silliness with no more impact than a wet fart.

I mean, I know you are still in full-blown fingers-in-ears mode and absolutely convinced that if you just ignore reality really hard, it’ll make the scary mean law go away, but yeah, sorry, the law passed and now people need to get signed up or they’ll get fined.

And that means telling people about it and that means making sure the word gets out to elderly grandmas and grandpas and other hermits waiting until the last minute.

Because like it or not, it’s something that just needs to be taken care of and hey, if there’s someone on hand who knows the “computer shit” to help them out, then great. It’s like hurricane warnings. Yeah, it may be annoying when they come up every five seconds to tell you to get the fuck out already and it may be annoying when they mobilize on twitter to get word to those you love in the area. But that’s just because the word needs to get out, and even then there are huge numbers who stay behind and need immediate rescue because of it or are killed.

And that’s with a giant wind storm of death. With something people are already used to procrastinating on because dealing with health insurance companies is like pulling teeth, it’s going to take a serious effort to get everyone taken care of and at least not taken by surprise.

Especially when you combine that impending deadline as part of the compromise that REPUBLICANS DEMANDED in lieu of single payer with the fact that signing up for health insurance can take awhile as companies or government agencies check your eligibilities and make sure everyone applying is being honest about income and so on as part of the other “fraud reduction” crap Republicans have been pushing for years.

But hey, you don’t want to hear about it because of reflexive hatred of black people. Whatever. But the meaningless “hey, maybe you should really start thinking about this shit, maybe” ads are going to have to flow and probably flow faster as the deadline looms closer.

And you’re going to have to find a healthy way to deal with that before you end up having to go to the Emergency Room this holiday season for a burst blood vessel.

I’m afraid that this doesn’t strike me as very likely. We are, after all, dealing with the tone-deaf team that thought that “Truth Team,” and “Attack Watch,” two services that allowed Americans to inform the White House about their Obama-criticizing neighbors, were a good idea. As Buzzfeed’s McKay Coppins has asked rhetorically, “Is there any battle in contemporary politics being waged with more indignity and less prowess than the tug-of-war for twentysomethings over Obamacare?”

No, there is not.

We’re not paranoid!!!

And we’ll prove it with our hyper-paranoid reaction to the knowledge that there might be liberals paying attention to our paid hit jobs and noting their existence and MOMMY TELL THEM THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED! IT’S NOT FAIR MOMMY! I DON’T WANNA WEAR MY PAJAMAS! IT’S NOT BEDTIME YET, MOMMY! I DON’T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS, I CAN STAY UP LATE, I’M A BIG BOY NOW! MOMMMEEEEEEEE!

Also, I know IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is your fucking bread and butter, but wow, you could at least hide the fact that you are trying to blame us for your single-minded hate campaign of psychoses about something that few of us are actually fully happy with (not because we also hate health care, but because this doesn’t nearly go far enough in fixing what’s wrong with health care in America (figured I needed to spell that out with you fuckers given your current frenzied state)).

But then what did you expect? OFA, and its various offshoots, are staffed by third-growth McGovernites who have come of age at the exact point that the radicalism of the 1960s finally won out. As David Burge of “Iowahawk” fame likes to joke, perhaps it wasn’t “a good idea to turn the most successful country in the history of the world over to the grievance faculty at Harvard.” Still, that is what we have done. And we have ended up with a parade of over-educated and under-experienced perpetual children who don’t think twice before dressing a grown man up in footie pajamas.

That’s an awful wordy way to just say:

“I WANT MY AMERICA BACK!”

Also, no. You don’t get “your” America back. I know you think that if you just watch only Nick at Nite shows and read right-wing blogs that it’ll somehow mean that everyone has to play along with your bizarre cosplay of a 1950s that never existed, but sorry, Billy, the last 50 years did in fact happen. Life has moved on. Brown people, queers, women, all these people are more and more recognized as people and it’s no longer as lauded to be an overprivileged whiny baby who wants to pretend that being born on third means you hit a triple.

No matter how much you yell, the clock will not wind back and make you a majority again.

So fucking well deal already.

Because we sure as shit sick of dealing with your crap all the time.

In Brideshead Revisited,

Oh Heavenly Buddha, are we really going to be doing another one of these “random fiction book agrees with my worldview if I apply my own projections on the main character, so clearly my worldview is everyone’s” dances again?

Sigh, let me go get my pretending to give a fuck glasses for this.

after Sebastian Flyte is repeatedly upbraided by the Oxford faculty for drinking too much and doing too little work, he asks Charles Ryder what one is expected to do instead. “How does one mend one’s ways?” he inquires:

I suppose one joins the League of Nations Union, and reads the Isis every week, and drinks coffee in the morning at the Cadena café and smokes a great pipe and plays hockey and goes out to tea on Boar’s Hill and to lectures at Keble, and rides a bicycle with a little tray full of note-books and drinks cocoa in the evening and discusses sex seriously.

Cool story, bro!

Times have changed, of course. The League of Nations Union is now the Queer Students Assocation. Sebastian’s proposed discussion of sex would today be replaced by a “dialogue” about the evils of “heteronormativity” or “micro-aggressions,” the pressing necessity of “safe spaces,” and the vital importance of whatever other buzzwords the comically hopeless liberal-arts students at Oberlin, Hampshire, and Brown are talking about these days.

No, please, don’t spare my feelings, how do you really feel about people who aren’t sociopaths trying to do right by each other and avoid unnecessary othering, insult, and injury?

Yeah, you’re not at all hurting from no longer being praised for smashing the “faggot’s” head into the wall and trying to grope the cheerleaders against their will. Nope, not even a little bit.

And smoking, being bad for you, certainly wouldn’t appeal. But the archetype of the goody-goody remains, right down to the drinking cocoa.

Okay, maybe this quote from the fucking 1920s doesn’t actually apply much except for the cocoa, but damnitt! IT’S AN OLD BOOK! That makes me automatically smart and well-read and totally scholarly and an expert. I mean, I use big words, and maybe it is true that I don’t know how the fuck to use them or have little more point to make than any liquored up bigot from the ‘Burbs, but uh… I IZ SMART! BELIEVE ME! I WENTS TO COLLEGE AND EVERYTHING!

Put a bunch of these people in a room with a few MacBook Airs and a shared copy of Adobe Photoshop, and this is the character they come up with by themselves. Because Pajama Boy is OFA; and OFA is Pajama Boy. The vaguely androgynous, student-glasses-wearing, Williamsburg hipster isn’t a clever marketing idea. It is the id of the Obama machine made public. Of course he’s made it onto the propaganda.

Androgynous. Metrosexual. There were also all the gay jokes in Loadpant’s little “epic”.

The fact that this figure isn’t in a suit, is instead comfortable and confident, is something that is somehow terrifying to their notion of how a “man” is supposed to look. And be. And that psychosexual reaction is actually kinda fascinating, because it reveals just how scared these fuckers must be all the time.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, a goddamn twitpic of a guy in fucking flannel jammies, the kind of shit that wouldn’t be out of place in some Canadian lumberjack’s home, is sending them clutching their family jewels and worrying about the insidious creep of homofascism.

They are so literally frightened of losing their fragile masculinity that they fear a non-aggressive reaction to a fucking guy drinking hot chocolate will somehow rob them of it and render them a “victim” of assumed “gay charms”.

Is it that pajamas are a form of underwear and thinking about any guy in his underwear sends them to their shame box? Is it that men are only ever supposed to be stern figures in suits acting serious, even during the holidays?

I don’t know, maybe I’m way too asexual and trans* to get this shit, but from afar, it looks like an unnecessarily painful way to live one’s life.

It’s okay not to be manly all the time, guys. In fact, it’d probably be best not to worry too much at all about that sort of thing given that you’re well, you. Just, you know, accept yourself, as you are, and don’t worry about needing to “prove” yourself all the time. Cause, honestly, hon, no one buys the earnestness of a tryhard. No one.

My former National Review colleague Dan Foster once rather depressingly suggested to me that The Big Bang Theory’s star geek, Leonard Hofstadter, was far from the loser that he needs to be for the joke to work, but instead the “voice of our generation.” One need only look at MSNBC for examples of this. The strapline du choix over at 30 Rock is “#nerdland”; the native tongue is the cretinous lingo of the graduate school; this season’s style is Earnest Ph.D.

Education bad, throw rocks at it! Boo, scary, fear thinking, it’s wrong and gay.

But please, listen to me, because I’m scholarly and academic and therefore know more than you.

It is a miracle that they don’t give themselves whiplash with the irony.

Candidate No. 6. Pajama Boy is, as Obama might put it, a composite character: part Chris Hayes, part Rachel Maddow, part Lena Dunham.

Pajama Boy is everything we fear about youth!

I figured we should just spell that out here just in case all the bits about “young people” shouldn’t even be allowed inside the home was just a little too subtle for the mouth-breathers we call an audience.

Which, I guess, is also the reason for the bizarre “anti-media analysis bashing of all those uppity college-educated smart youths making the damn videos and blogs about shit” interludes in the middle. My guess is that he found out about the existence of the Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, or Todd in the Shadows and is having a bit of a quarter-life crisis that a bunch of underemployed vloggers manage to be more eloquent than him despite never going to Cambridge.

Bonus irony? Charlie “I wanna be a real boy” Cooke’s one of those “see we got a young person to tell you old fucks the movement is going to be just fine without you” hires.

Ha. Lord save us from desperate kapos.

One of the funnier photoshops from last night features the caption, “Mommy said I could stay up late tonight.” If so, he isn’t waiting for PBS to broadcast the boobs and bad language on imported British comedies, as overgrown children once did; he’s ignoring his bedtime to ensure the Howard Zinn special on All In records properly.

PAJAMAS ARE CHILD! BAH CHILD! KILL IT!

But we love children and only we care about their best interest which always seem to be just what conservatives want to do in terms of enforcing sexual norms and the role of women.

Also, is the hate object a stunted object of growth (one wearing the same type of shit my middle aged dad used to wear regularly on Christmas) or an overeducated “know-it-all” who is inherently untrustworthy because of his erudition and education.

I know you want it both ways, dude, but you can’t actually have it.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to screw up one Obamacare personification may be regarded as a misfortune; to screw up them all looks like carelessness.

It’s a fucking ad.

They are all fucking ads.

There’s no fucking there there. Even if every single ad was just a blood-dripping mess of human skin and the screams of children, it wouldn’t fucking say anything other than the ad agency hired is a team of real fucking psychos.

You “deciding” that a handful of random images and ad moments are “disasters” because you hate the program and this is literally all you can latch onto, doesn’t actually mean you are doing anything of meaning or merit or actually saying anything deep.

This wouldn’t take down Obama even if you had legitimate grievances with the ads*, so pushing this when you literally have nothing just makes you look like the obsessed stalker fucks you are.

You need to stop now before you find yourself in the stage where you’re trying to dig through Obama’s garbage or trying to pay a shady fellow your entire life savings for a blurry picture shot from the bushes.

Or, perhaps better: ignorance.

Yeah, no.

You write for the National Review.

You don’t get to call anyone ignorant.

The harsh truth is that the advertising machine behind the Obama administration seems not to really know what normal human beings are like.

IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is a truism for a reason.

In Colorado, when OFA-wannabe group, ProgressNowColorado, was charged with selling the law to young people, it drew on the worst of cartoons. All the women were sluts; all the men were idiots; all the girls were playing extremely violent sports.

I really don’t know why you keep thinking this tactic is a winner. If ranting about a fucking advertisement showing “filthy liberal people” in your imaginary perfect bubble didn’t work for you the last fifty times you tried it, it’s not going to magically get better the fifty-first time.

But fuck it, let’s go try and find these “terrible” ads seeing as you apparently didn’t have the fucking ovaries to actually post a link to this shit.

All righty, this looks to be the source of the bitch fest, with this image of a roller derby team in particular making little man’s man Charlie C shit out his own anus in uncontrollable fear.

Which, first of all, HA! Second of all, Pfft, hilarious. Third of all, oh my fucking Bob, you idiots are so predictably easy to startle. Fourth, BWAHAHAHA!

And to save time, let’s skip down to a hundred and sixteenth, there are two, count them, TWO, images of dudes among the collection. One is of two guys going golfing and the other is a guy doing a kegger. Seeing as how both of these activities are usually cheered by gynophobic conservatives as properly manly activities that repel evil feminizing rays, I must admit it’s rather revealing of your self-worth that you consider these actions “men being idiots”.

I mean, yeah, I agree with you that both of those activities are kinda fucking imbecilic and either bad for one’s health or bad for the environment, but yeah, that’s because I’m a filthy hippie liberal she-beast. So what exactly is your excuse here.

Oh and spoiler alert, “women being sluts” is pictures of moms or a single pregnant woman. But conservatives are not at all sexphobic reactionary misogynists as evidenced by the abortion movement and are totally the movement of motherhood and caring about the care and welfare of kids.

I mean, you’ll still believe us, even though we’ve let the cat out of the bag, right? Fuck, I hope so, cause we can’t at all afford to have women’s voting records start resembling African-American records.

In short (HA), BWAHAHAHAHA, he’s scared of the mean-roller-ladies! BWAHAHAHAHA! If he saw a leather momma stone butch, he’d probably shit himself inside out. BWAHAHAHA!

It was, in other words, an expensive exercise in overcompensation

And I’m sure, you know absolutely nothing about overcompensation.

— the inexplicable indulgence of a group of silly people with chips on their shoulders

Oh holy fuck, are we actually talking about you now? Because yeah, there’s one side that’s a bunch of silly fucks making themselves into amazing self-parodies with the raw tantrum fury of their shoulder chips, and well… it’s not exactly random hipster liberals, if you get what I’m saying.

who had forgotten that their brief was actually to achieve something.

You ever wonder if irony and self-awareness ever try to sidle up to introduce themselves to him at parties, but he keeps jumping out of windows because he thought he saw a roller-derby girl or a homosexual?

If anything will save conservatives from the expansive agenda of the Left,

It’s not freaking the fuck out every time someone releases a meaningless ad and pretending it’s like the attack on Pearl Harbor?

If anything will save conservatives from the expansive agenda of the Left, it may be that progressives honestly do believe deep down that intentions and words are equal to achievement and action, and, too, that like the hapless revolutionaries in Life of Brian, sticking to arbitrary sensitivity rules is as important as running the government properly.

Ohhhh. What will save you is that liberals actually give a damn about people and doing right by them or at least trying to be fair, just, and empathetic.

And that by being sociopaths who only care about the “mission” and “winning” you can exploit that kindness and respect in order to gain disproportionate favors and power.

Which, um… about that.

You’ve been doing that for over 30 years now. And yeah, you’ve had some measure of success with that shit, but at the end of the day, raw image and tactics will only get you so far.

Cause winning the day, delaying that progressive step, or exploiting governmental formalities to halt all progress might slow the game, but clock is still ticking. Socially, the world is moving on. It’s no longer a majority thing to be bigoted against gays. A black man can serve as president and for many people that’s not a terribly big deal. A woman can be a strong protagonist in a movie or even not end up with the boy or even be an out feminist and it can sell out theaters. People are slowly improving how they look at trans* people and drugs. And a lot of people are too young to be so scared of Ruskies that unregulated capitalism still looks like a swell idea.

The world is changing. The world has changed without you.

And you’re going to have to either respond to that with something real or accept your continued drift into obscurity. The choice is yours. The choice has always been yours.

That, at this late and critical stage, the administration could not help itself but to demonstrate that it really is its critics’ worst nightmare is, perversely, encouraging. “How are you going to encourage people to sign up, then?” conservatives asked. “Pajama Boy!” came the answer. And then we all laughed and went about our business — in adults’ clothes, of course.

And yet that thin veneer of cosplay could not change the reality. That you were a bunch of overgrown children, ferried by privilege and connections and money to lifelong secure failure pits in the wingnut welfare circuit, selling simple lies to simple people.

And by bitching about literal nothing and congratulating yourself as if you had felled a great beast with nothing but a spear, you revealed yourself to be beneath an empty ad of a guy drinking cocoa on Christmas morning. Beneath frivolity and artifice, seeking its stamp of adulthood, but unable to rise up.

I’d weep at the tragedy, if I just didn’t fucking care.

You fuckers are hella psychotic, yo. Get some damn help already.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Pfft. I don’t even wear pajamas to sleep. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

* I mean, for fuck’s sake, they have so missed the point of media analysis. It’s not a matter of going, this ad is terrible, X clearly is bad. It’s a matter of deconstructing the attitudes and worldviews being sold. Looking at it, usually in the context of an overall problem that is everpresent and ignored.

Often it is a mere facet. An example to present a point usually about privilege or the way images shape our “idea of what the world looks like” more than the way the world actually looks. Deconstructing a Disney movie and talking about the limitations placed on the “Princess” role or noting the problematic racial themes in things like Pocahontas are not just a smear piece to say, Disney bad, they shouldn’t be a company anymore. They’re part of a larger conversation on the impact tropes and mythologies about history have on modern understandings of women and Natives or how these feed into systems that privilege a particular type of white people’s story over the lives of everyone else.

And bitching about them isn’t looking to eliminate a company, but about making a culture less shit. Companies like Disney responding to the critiques by actually thinking about what resorting to easy tropes says is a good thing and usually the best hoped change one can make with media analysis.

It can’t and shouldn’t operate as just a bizarre way to try and critique the character of another person in the hopes of better being able to make an Argument from Authority against them. That’s just not how it fucking works.

And it’s the reason why what they assumed would be a hip and scholarly piece just ends up as the bitter ramblings of a bunch of bar regulars bitching about “the missuses” as they drink up all their money and self-respect.

**Eh… okay, maybe a few mangos from Goldberg’s Magnum Failus.

Pajama Boy is a Low-T liberal who wears a “this is what a feminist looks like” T-shirt and flinches whenever his girlfriend makes a sudden movement.

Cause all feminist men are domestic violence sufferers being beat by overbearing women, because that’s the only way one could ever think those filthy vagina-beasts are fully human, am i rite?

Now, quick, before you call A&E and have my reality show canceled, the first problem with this joke is that you’re not supposed to make any derogatory jokes about being gay anymore. And that’s okay by me so long as people avoid being complete tools about enforcing that rule.

I’m perfectly okay with their being a social expectation that people not be homophobic dicks as long as no one in any capacity attempts to enforce such social norm on me.

Otherwise all the bigotry I’m already performing will be your fault according to the ancient law of nuh uh, you.

When the brouhaha started, I was tempted to make the following joke on Twitter:

Q: What’s the hardest part of being picked as the poster boy for the pajama-boy ad campaign?
A: Telling your parents you’re gay.

Apparently “hurr hurr fag” is the epitome of comedy at Natonal Review central.

I mean that there are plenty of gay dudes — and women! — who are vastly more masculine than Pajama Boy. Pajama Boy doesn’t exude homosexuality; he gives off the anodyne scent of emasculation.

Man, it always comes back to castration anxiety for these people doesn’t it.

Hey, dipshits, other people not being “manly” enough or even not being men at all, doesn’t at all affect you or your trembling flower of a masculinity, so fucking chill already.

I mean, honestly, if you keep trembling, you’re going to just get blood everywhere once the evil feminazi agenda makes the snip.

516 Comments »

  1. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 0:40

    frick!

  2. Major Kong said,

    December 24, 2013 at 0:52

    I think he looks like Leonard on The Big Bang Theory.

  3. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 24, 2013 at 1:33

    Oh, look, I can slightly tweak and recycle a comment I already made:

    [T]hat’s the weirdest nontroversy I’ve ever seen. “OMG, dude in pajamas! Hot cocoa! Health care! IT’S CLEARLY THE END OF THE WORLD!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!eleven!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH[cough]HHHHHHhhhhhh[cough, sputter, die].”

    Efficiency!

  4. Helen said,

    December 24, 2013 at 2:02

    I don’t speak “twitter”. Did Obama twat (H/T Stephen Colbert) that before or after the right went batshit crazy over pajama boy?

  5. Failure Artist said,

    December 24, 2013 at 2:04

    And there is some conservative tearfully throwing out his warm pajamas because the new meme is they’re for gay liberal metrosexuals.

    Ah, who am I kidding? They’d probably think of some excuse for why their pajamas are manly.

  6. Failure Artist said,

    December 24, 2013 at 2:04

    And there is some conservative tearfully throwing out his warm pajamas because the new meme is they’re for gay liberal metrosexuals.

    Ah, who am I kidding? They’d probably think of some excuse for why their pajamas don’t count.

  7. tigris said,

    December 24, 2013 at 2:29

    The Founding Fathers certainly couldn’t have envisioned Obamacare,

    Ha. Google Andrew Wehrman’s article “A Pox on You,” or “An Act for the Relief of Sick and Disabled Seaman,” or Ben Franklin’s role in founding Pennsylvania Hospital. So yeah, maybe they couldn’t have envisioned a plan that enshrines private companies’ profits, but government mandates and funding via taxation? Absofuckinglutely.

  8. Thread Bear said,

    December 24, 2013 at 3:12

    Marketing one’s “brand”, winning the “image war” has become conservatism’s one obsession and at every level there is a firm belief that throwing enough money at marketing or yelling really loudly to win the “day” should be able to rewrite reality, bend people to their wills, and erase all history.

    You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but let’s hope Americans are smart enough that you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.

  9. Anonymous said,

    December 24, 2013 at 3:13

    This guy is using motherfucking Oscar Wilde as support? Against someone he’s accusing of being effeminate and implying to be gay?

    Seems like he may not have thought that through.

  10. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 24, 2013 at 3:13

    Times have changed, of course. The League of Nations Union is now the Queer Students Assocation. Sebastian’s proposed discussion of sex would today be replaced by a “dialogue” about the evils of “heteronormativity” or “micro-aggressions,” the pressing necessity of “safe spaces,” and the vital importance of whatever other buzzwords the comically hopeless liberal-arts students at Oberlin, Hampshire, and Brown are talking about these days.

    And smoking, being bad for you, certainly wouldn’t appeal. But the archetype of the goody-goody remains, right down to the drinking cocoa.

    Fortunately individualistic go-it-alone conservatives have no particular orthodoxy to adhere to.

  11. Thread Bear said,

    December 24, 2013 at 3:26

    Also, everyone knows if you want to market to REAL MURICANS you need a picture of a hot co-ed with large breasts in skimpy, sheer pajamas. THAT’S what advertising is all about!

  12. Fenwick said,

    December 24, 2013 at 4:08

    comically hopeless liberal-arts students at Oberlin, Hampshire, and Brown

    Hey-hey-hey! Wingnutty shout-out for my old school as an exemplar of liberal activism. Righteous!

  13. Helen said,

    December 24, 2013 at 4:17

    Hi Fenwick. Was a bit worried about you and the BBB told me you moved from Baltimore to…? Can’t remember. Wonderful to see you.

  14. CRA said,

    December 24, 2013 at 4:33

    I’m 100% sure that Oscar Wilde had very nice pajamas, and sometimes drank warm drinks at bedtime, holding them just so, uttering witticisms. Looked gay as hell for all that and was a better man than these haters. But all this is to state the obvious.

  15. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 4:33

    Seems like he may not have thought that through.

    this could be said of all wingnut welfare contributors…

  16. Fenwick said,

    December 24, 2013 at 5:26

    Hiya, Helen! I’m in Albuquerque.

    I’m current designing a long journey through the western Colorado Plateau for spring or fall of 2014. It’s ambitious: Hopi Nation … GC North Rim … Zion … Kolob Canyons … Cedar Breaks … Bryce … complete Capitol Reef loop … three Grand Staircase excursions (Hell’s Backbone loop, the Cockscomb, and slot canyons) … Lake Powell. I’ve been working with 1:250,000 Benchmark atlases.

    I’m also going to purchase a mid-range digital SLR and re-learn photography. (36 years ago I used a manual Cannon Ftb blackbox and 120-mm zoom. I like landscapes. (I hope I have dramatic skies!)

  17. Helen said,

    December 24, 2013 at 5:54

    OOOO Fenwick. Ya mean you’re traveling for “a living?” Oh my Can I join you? I am 8 years away from being able to d0othat for reelz, but really, I am sooooo jealous. Good Luck to you. Enjoy it. Of course it looks like you are in wingnut territory. Be careful big boy!

  18. jim the heretical anti-neutrino said,

    December 24, 2013 at 9:57

    Better late than never!

  19. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 24, 2013 at 16:14

    TWO, images of dudes among the collection. One is of two guys going golfing and the other is a guy doing a kegger.

    And the two guys are described as “buddies for life”. You just know that filled the wingnutterati with forbidden thoughts.

  20. Fiddlin Bill said,

    December 24, 2013 at 16:52

    Wasn’t there something, once, called “Pajama Media”? Maybe that’s the subliminal spur in the ad for these right wing dickheads. Just sayin’.

  21. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 24, 2013 at 17:05

    PJ Media is on the case, Fiddlin Bill:

    A lame attempt to spin Footie Pajamas Boy as a win for the White House.

    “Lame attempt” is a pretty good summary of PJ Media overall.

  22. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 17:21

    you know, there’s nothing like small-town radio…i am listening to the elementary school’s band and choir concert…it’s been many, many years since i’ve attended one myself, and it is true: the adorableness of the children greatly enhances the performance…without their cuteness and the possibility one of them is going to do something goofy, it’s just painful…

  23. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 17:24

    i’m not embarrassed…and i would rather watch an entire year of ‘pajama boy’ than be subjected to even one charmin or cottonelle ad…

  24. Nym said,

    December 24, 2013 at 17:57

    Boy scouts are giving pizza to same-sex couples waiting to marry.

    IN UTAH.

    I wonder which OSC will do first: stroke out or come out?

  25. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 18:04

    Boy scouts are giving pizza to same-sex couples waiting to marry.

    ’tis heartwarming to see…but yes, i expect there will be repercussions for their humane behavior…

  26. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 24, 2013 at 18:37

    Dennis said,
    December 24, 2013 at 18:05

    All of them, Katie.

  27. jim the heretical anti-dove-entrail soothsayer said,

    December 24, 2013 at 18:38

    I read on the Interwebs that “Sleeps In The Nude Guy” is going to be the sequel, following the “Pyjama Guy” script verbatim in the same way LIFE cereal redid their “He likes it! Hey, Mikey!” cute kid ad using lumberjacks

  28. jim the heretical anti-dove-entrail soothsayer said,

    December 24, 2013 at 18:39

    Oh Golly Mugwumps!
    I missed my period!

  29. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 18:40

    don’t worry…your body has a way of shutting that down…

  30. Major Kong said,

    December 24, 2013 at 19:10

    Out delivering Christmas packages all night. Nap time.

  31. Failure Artist said,

    December 24, 2013 at 19:19

    Dennis, what do you wear to bed?

  32. bbkf said,

    December 24, 2013 at 19:22

    i was hoping for at least a christmas themed special today on the ‘did too! did not! you’re a poopiehead!’ trollfest…

  33. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 24, 2013 at 19:38

    Coprophagous: Not covered under Obamacare.

  34. Nym said,

    December 24, 2013 at 19:43

    One of those spiked anti-nocturnal emission cockrings, no doubt.

  35. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 24, 2013 at 21:35

    Classic SNL alternative ending to It’s a Wonderful Life.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoKp0Pn-kKI

    Watch it, libs!

  36. Zeke said,

    December 24, 2013 at 21:43

    I like to laugh at wingnuts as much as the next guy. Unfortunately, the last year or two has taught me a painful lesson, The lesson is that the only thing crazier than a wingnut is a liberal Social Justice Warrior. True the Dems don’t dance to their tune quite as much as the Wing Party do to their morons, but they are getting there. They’ve been making headway in academia with their twisted ideologies for a long time and they are not absent from political power. You know those loony ivory tower Profs the wingnuts are always railing against? Didn’t think they existed, but I’ve since found that they do. I think the mainstream left needs to be careful not to go too tribal because they might wake up in bed with the crazies before too long. The danger with the lefty loons is that while they profess reasonable aims such as racial and gender equality, when you take a closer look you find batshit crazy ideologies based on prejudice, twisted stats and bizarre twisting of sociological concepts like patriarchy and privilege. They are also intolerant of disagreement and are quite vicious when challenged. You either shut up and agree or you are dirt and it’s open season on you.

  37. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:02

    Yeah, those takers will go out and find jobs after their unemployment runs out, or they’ll become entrepreneurs in business for themselves, finding opportunities in the upcoming failure of Obamacare.

  38. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:18

    Zeke said,
    December 24, 2013 at 21:43

    [citation needed]

  39. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:22

    Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, ya silly socialist jabronis, Pajama Boy is a big honkin’ queer, ya dig? Check it before ya wreck it, silly Sadlies- this clown-o-rama is yet another reason why the SPREAD of CONSERVOMENTUM will keep on rollin’ down the road to propel us back into the White House! Can you say President Super Sarah, the Power Palin, or Vice President Boss Bobby Jindal? Badoodle-boo-yeah!

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it, libs! Ding dong dilly! Urban out.

  40. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:41

    Just finished watching the new (upcoming) season of Downton Abbey. So disappointing. Really cheap to use the same car crash gimmick to kill off Mary.

    Also, why does an invisible ad for Ram trucks play every time I reload this page?

  41. Fakey-fake Gary Ruppert the fake said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:44

    Address my point about Pajama Boy, libs!

  42. mister helpful said,

    December 24, 2013 at 22:58

    I think it’s kind of heartwarming that, after all these years, fake Gary Rupperts are still trolling these boards. God bless us, everyone!

  43. mister helpful said,

    December 24, 2013 at 23:00

    Pajama Boy looks a little like an old photo of Ben Shapiro.

  44. Major Kong said,

    December 24, 2013 at 23:26

    A President George Bailey would’ve turned us into Greece.

    Sooner than Obama will, that is.

    Hmmm. Tea Party = Golden Dawn? Yeah, I can totally see that. That’s the first thing he’s ever said that makes sense.

  45. Austin Loomis said,

    December 25, 2013 at 0:09

    Our lovely hostess skrev:

    all the bits about “young people” shouldn’t even be allowed inside the home

    P.J. O’Rourke, in one of the few comments of his I still agree with, said as capstone to a capsule review of the War on Some Drugs hysteria, “The only unifying theme in these drug scares seemed to be an American public with a strong subconscious wish to be rid of its young people.” This wish also finds its expression in young adult dystopias, most purely in Neal Shusterman’s Unwinding trilogy.

    Nym:

    I wonder which OSC will do first: stroke out or come out?

    He’s come as close to the latter as he’s ever going to (read Zdorab in the Homecoming Cycle or Anton in the Shadow series), so the question may be a wrong one.

  46. boconn13 said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:24

    From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor: Front-Line Dispatches from the Advertising War

    Updated! Iraq War II

    Updated! BENGAZZZZI!!

  47. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:30

    The fact is, this is clearly a faget being used to sell insurance and social change and redistribution. Fagets contribute nothing useful to society and are takers, but they rule liberals who are afraid to criticicise them. Liberals worship fagets and want to have gay sex with them, which is why liberalism is a disease like marxism.

  48. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:39

    The fact is, you liberals cannot destroy the sacred holiday of Christmas, like you tried to destroy the Duck Commander by taking away his free speach. I am not PC and proud, its OK to not like blacks and gays and not listen to liberals who say I have to.

  49. Captain Ned, H.M.S. The Raging Queen said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:46

    We’ll be having an extra ration of rum after our physical culture class this afternoon.

    All Her Majestys’ men of the Raging Queen wish you all Happy Holidays as we sail to our next port of call, Fire Island.

  50. Thread Bear said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:52

    Black Santas on parade.

    http://www.fox10tv.com/news/local/mobile-county/male-dance-group-sparks-controversy-at-parade

  51. KatWillow said,

    December 25, 2013 at 1:55

    These hysterical hissy-fits are brought to you by the Kock Bros et. al. They’re still working to stop healthy young’uns from signing up for Obamacare, and now they’re really pouring on the propaganda to stop poor “conservatives” from doing so.

    If you get Obamacare…. you’re G*A*Y! (or will become gay, or maybe one of your relatives will get gay-married).

    If you get Obamacare everyone will think you’re BLACK, or MEXICAN, or, worst of all A WOMAN !11!!!!1

    And should the next Obamacare feature cute little WHITE kids with happy smiles, well- hmmm. What will they scream about? I eagerly await the next advertisement for affordable health care

  52. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 2:00

    So the next Obamacare ads should feature people who accidentally get shot while duck hunting or get run over by monster trucks?

    “Ah wuz changin’ the oil in mah F-250 when the wrench slipped and broke mah hand. Lucky for me ah had that there Obamacare plan or I’d have had to sell mah favorite shotgun to pay the doctor.”

  53. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 25, 2013 at 2:27

    The fact is the gayifacation of the American media is an insideouts attempt to demasculinize the future warriors of this great country. Libs want drill sergeants to teach their recruits the proper ettiquitte of pajama sleepovers rather than how to kill the enemy.

  54. KatWillow said,

    December 25, 2013 at 3:02

    Marketing one’s “brand”, winning the “image war” has become conservatism’s one obsession and at every level…

    I think they genuinely believe that “liberal” policies like social security and economic healthcare are ONLY popular because of the !#@**&$! LIEberal Media, and the spending of billions of dollars on propaganda.

    That’s how dumb they are, and I include the Kocks in this observation. I think they and a lot of puffed-up rich folk are being fleeced by lawyers, advertisers, media consultants and so on. GOOD.

  55. Suezboo said,

    December 25, 2013 at 3:15

    Hey, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all those Sadlynauts who celebrate said holiday. Hope you have a safe, peaceful and happy holiday.
    Jesus was one of the good guys, IMO, so Happy Birthday.

  56. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 3:28

    “I’ve come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.”

    John Fuglesang

  57. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 3:44

    So the next Obamacare ads should feature people who accidentally get shot while duck hunting

    Now that you mention it, the pajama fellow’s PJ’s are very reminiscent of those hunting hats with the earflaps. Synergy?

    I guess the bright side of the Duck Dynasty/Pajama Boy thing is that repuke efforts to improve their brand with LGBT voters and younger, more tolerant voters seem to have stalled out (but only momentarily, I’m sure).

  58. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 3:57

    Merry Christmas Suzeboo.

  59. Failure Artist said,

    December 25, 2013 at 4:40

    I saw a black santa on the bus today and he and another guy were talking with the bus driver about what you leave for a black santa and they came up with things I will not repeat.

    Went to church service tonight, which is awkward since as a non-believer I feel like I’m perjuring myself with everything I say or sing, but whatever, candles and Christmas songs are pretty. At least I didn’t take the wafers and wine and instead got a blessing.

  60. Pupienus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 4:55

    Suez, this militant atheist and his gayhusband wish you a very merry Christmas.

  61. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 25, 2013 at 5:30

    The fact is, the fact that liberals are saying Merry Christmas in this forum will get their PC cards revoked, which to me says tehy are hipocrits all along.

  62. Suezboo said,

    December 25, 2013 at 5:43

    Gary, do not call me a hipocrit.
    I like hippos and would never crit one to his face.

  63. Some guy said,

    December 25, 2013 at 7:07

    Conservatives nowadays would never DREAM of making fun of gays or blacks… Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more.

  64. Smut Clyde said,

    December 25, 2013 at 7:27

    Family members gave me Vodka for $mas. Shocking, I know.
    Santa also brought me an early present in the form of a sick cat. Mrs Spat is now spending the holiday season recovering from surgery at the vet clinic. Stupid cat YOU ARE NOT A LABRADOR.

  65. Smut Clyde said,

    December 25, 2013 at 7:29

    The fact is, the fact that liberals are saying Merry Christmas in this forum will get their PC cards revoked

    The fact is, I just heard an interview with Edward Snowden which he finished by wishing “Merry Christmas” to everyone listening.

  66. bbkf said,

    December 25, 2013 at 7:46

    Went to church service tonight, which is awkward since as a non-believer I feel like I’m perjuring myself with everything I say or sing, but whatever, candles and Christmas songs are pretty. At least I didn’t take the wafers and wine and instead got a blessing.

    we always go with the inlaws to their smug, snobby and sad christmas eve service…i usually only sing the songs that i like and don’t take part in any of the service because fuck them if i’m not good enough to take their fucking communion…the only reason i go is because mil would be disappoint…

    merry christmas, ya filthy animals!

  67. bbkf said,

    December 25, 2013 at 7:48

    also, we need more love!

  68. Fenwick said,

    December 25, 2013 at 8:37

    Merry Christmas to all. I am about to open some wine and get ge-schnockered (the technical term, I believe). Appy Olidays!

  69. VCarlson said,

    December 25, 2013 at 10:06

    Just got back from dinner with my sister and her family, including her in-laws from Ann Arbor (who are way cool people) and an old friend of the family, so a very enjoyable time was had by all. The in-laws are relishing being able to go for a walk on the beach (without suiting up for subfreezing temps), and the fil is joking about the mil “stalking” Obama. Maybe I will bring the telescope down tomorrow. Hm. Yes, I am an enabler. Why not? It’s harmless fun.

    Presents will be opened tomorrow, accompanied by bagels, smoked salmon, cream cheese, onions, capers, and champagne. I love these family traditions.

    Mele Kalikimaka to you all.

  70. Inconsolably bitter said,

    December 25, 2013 at 11:06

    Atheists aren’t supposed to believe in Christmas so why do any of you celebrate it? How inauthentic.

  71. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 25, 2013 at 13:42

    penis

  72. Chris said,

    December 25, 2013 at 13:51

    Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

    And a happy new year!

  73. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 25, 2013 at 14:00

    Happy War on Christmas fellow footsoldiers.

  74. jurassicpork said,

    December 25, 2013 at 15:24

    It’s a Wonderful Life… if you’re a Republican. Merry Xmas, everyone.

  75. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 16:39

    I hope everyone’s Christmas packages got there on time. Us freight-dogs were workin’ it this week.

    We were 3 1/2 hours late getting out of Newark yesterday morning because there was so much freight.

  76. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 17:08

    We already got one Saturday morning via your company, MK. They even called us up Friday(via automated phone call) to make sure someone was here at the house because a signature was needed by an adult for the package contained alcoholic spirits.

  77. jim the heretical anti-dove-entrail soothsayer said,

    December 25, 2013 at 17:29

    Joyeux Noël, Sadlies!

  78. El Manquécito said,

    December 25, 2013 at 17:45

    Feliz Navidad a todos.

  79. Pupienus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 17:53

    Happy fucking Saturnalia!

  80. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 25, 2013 at 18:19

    Or, y’know… whatever.
    .

  81. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 18:41

    Woohoo! Got just what I wanted – an immersion sous vide machine! Going to make some eggs now.

  82. Whale Chowder said,

    December 25, 2013 at 18:41

    Feliz Navidad from Espania ya bunch of dirty hippies. We decided fuck the inlaws and dragged the kids over here for the holidays. Not much open today but we’re about to go try to find a drink and tapas.

    Traveling with adult kids is fun.

  83. El Manquécito said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:05

    Yer in for lots of fun Pup.

  84. Pupienus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:07

    Great idea WC. Teh Ho and I once had a penchant for avoiding Xmas with the inlaws by sailing in the Caribbean. Spain is nice too.

  85. Suezboo said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:15

    As is the case with many of your foodpron comments, Pup, I resorted to Wikipedia to find out what sous vide was all about. It says there it’s for meat and vegetables to be cooked for days at a specific temperature etc etc.
    But – eggs? eggs, you say ?? I am befuddled. (not uncommon)

  86. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:23

    Shrimp cocktail with lemon tarragon vinaigrette. Kir Royale.

    Dry aged prime rib roast accompanied by jus and the horseradish sauce I’m about to make. Yorkshire pudding. Mashed potatoes with LOTS of butter. I mean, you wouldn’t fucking believe how much butter. But take it from me – it’s teh awesome way. Roasted brussell sprouts with blueberry balsamic vinegar. Rolls are proofing now. Erath (Yamhill county) pinot noir.

    Buche de noel. Mexican coffee.

  87. El Manquécito said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:26

    Suezboo- with sous vide you can make perfect, I mean perfect poached eggs that are still shaped like eggs.

  88. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:30

    Mrs. Kong got me a new Kitchen-Aid mixer.

    The big 7-qt one.

    (makes Tim Allen grunting noise)

  89. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:37

    Yes, eggs. But see, sous vide isn’t really about long cooking, it’s slow cooking. You CAN cook things for days but it’s necessary.

    Steak, for instance, is nicely rare at 130 degrees Fahrenheit (some neanderthals like it at 125 or even 120 but at that temp the fat hasn’t fully melted and spread through the meat – that’s flavor lost). When you cook a steak on a grill, or in a pan, or under the broiler, by the time the heat penetrates to the center, the outside is well over that perfect temp. When foods go over their ideal temp they get dry, tough, stringy. Throw a (vac-sealed) steak in the sous vide machine set at 125 degrees and after a while the entire steak will be at that perfect temp. Its ready in an hour but you can hold it for up to 12 hours and it doesn’t change one bit. You do have to sear it afterwards because it looks ugly and the exterior hasn’t gone through the Maillard reaction which is FLAVOR FLAVOR FLAVOR.

  90. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:43

    MK – you’re going to have a lot of fun too. Did you get the meat grinder attachment? Best. Thing. Ever. Making sausage is FUN. I can also recommend the pasta rollers. NB: NOT the pasta plates which I don’t even know it they make anymore they’re useless. The roller set is pricey but you’ll find yourself making fresh pasta allatime. The ice cream maker does a good job too. I don’t have the grain mill or the juicer attachments so I can’t speak to that.

    PS – when grinding chuck (which is 80% of the beef I grind) use the plate with large holes – the gristle clogs up the small holes.

  91. bbkf said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:43

    ahhh, ya lucky slobs…i have to wait until sunday morning for prezzies cuz the son couldn’t make it home for the holiday…last night we had homemade (from my very own) chicken and wild rice soup and some spinach pinwheel thingies…and the daughter made brownies with caramel frosting…we also had some baklava which was a gift and the in-laws tried hummus and enjoyed it…today we head down to the other end of the street for a traditional ham dinner…i always get to mash the potatoes…and yes, lots of butter! also a smidge of sour cream, salt and lots of pepper…oooooh…cannot wait!

    p.s. thank you major for making sure the gifts got to where they were supposed to go–i did order the son a wool sweater from the uk…do you know when it might arrive?

  92. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:44

    Awshit. Suez et al., please insert “not” before “necessary.”

  93. The Dark Avenger said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:51

    Sounds great, Pup.

    This is my first comment using the iPad that my noble spouse surprised my with today.

    We had a slow-cooked rib roast for NS birthday on Monday. 15 hours @170 degrees F. It was delish.

  94. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:53

    Also, playing video from a tablet using Chromecast is a shit ton easier than slogging through the apps in the blu-ray player (or the tv). Plus anything that you can play in the Chrome browser can play on teevee. Might be the best $30 ever spent.

  95. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 19:59

    Yeah, I’ll never get over the mallard that we had for Christmas dinner when I was 10 years old………………….

  96. El Manquécito said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:02

    My favorite sous vide; lamb chops, seasoned, tiny amt. rosemary and garlic, 4 hours @135f then seared over hardwood fire. Amazing.

  97. bbkf said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:07

    i’ve also got a bread pudding in the oven, just finished the caramel sauce and i’m also contributing homemade creamed corn…i have a feeling i’m going to be fat and sassy in short order…

    it’s a weird christmas without the son being here…also, a friend of ours lost his mother saturday night…she would have been 70 this saturday…i believe my elder brother’s alcoholism has gotten the best of him…very briefly talked with him last night and today he is incommunicado, his depression is worrisome…so it’s a mixture of joy and melancholy for us…but i love the holidays with its promise of a new year…

  98. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:08

    Liberals spend a full month bitching about Christ, Christians and Christmas [citation needed]

  99. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:13

    Liberals Bill O’Reilly and other wingnuts spend a full month bitching about the War on Christmas.

    FTFY

  100. Cerberus said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:19

    For our poor little Dennis, who has nowhere to be on Christmas morning:
    A Christmas Present from us.

    Happy Kwanzaa Eve everybody.

    And now back to baking.

  101. St. Pupienus of PENIS and also POOP said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:32

    The “War on Christmas” is a thing only in your pointy little haids.

  102. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:42

    I shot Santa just now, still too late to avert the happiness of the children of the world.

  103. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:48

    What if they gave a War on Christmas, and nobody tuned in mostly?

    This year the War on Christmas was about as slow as I can recall it being since the hostilities began some time in the 90s. It’s almost like the majority of the country isn’t paying attention, or something. Maybe they (we) have real problems that seem more pressing, like health insurance or reduced food stamps or unemployment benefits about to be terminated.

  104. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:55

    Pup – I didn’t get any of the attachments, but I do have a gift card………

  105. El Manquécito said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:58

    “I Saw Subby Shooting Santa Claus” is one of my favorite seasonal songs.

  106. bbkf said,

    December 25, 2013 at 20:59

    I think the whole commander Phil thing overtook the war on Christmas…fredum of speech and homo hate rules in redneck murica right along with loving jesus…I read that on Facebook the other day so it must be true!

  107. Case Oopes said,

    December 25, 2013 at 21:02

    Here’s hoping peace of mind and joy of heart finds all Sadlies this season.

  108. Case Oopes said,

    December 25, 2013 at 21:32

    Never fails.

  109. Some guy said,

    December 25, 2013 at 21:36

    Dennis, for Christmas, you can suck my cock.

    Go on, you know you want to!

  110. Dennis also said,

    December 25, 2013 at 21:42

    I THINK ABOUT JESUS WIENER A LOT

  111. St. Pupienus of PENIS and also POOP said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:00

    Get cock out of your mouth Pennis. Lord only knows where mouth has been.

  112. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:23

    try being honest with yourself

    Thank you, psycho therapist Pennis.

  113. Major Kong said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:24

    Dang trolls don’t even take Christmas off.

  114. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:31

    The Duck Dynasty episode is depressing, but it’s nice to see the Republican base displaying so much…honesty, about their bigotry–and keeping their leaders honest, too. Meanwhile, yesterday the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals refused to enjoin gay weddings in Utah.

    So Merry Christmas!

  115. St. Pupienus of PENIS and also POOP said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:40

    I honestly have no idea where your mouth has been. Do you ?

  116. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 22:53

    Not really, Pennis, just the fumble-fingered fools who have problem typing on an iPhone.

    You really aren’t up to your usual trolling today. Hungover? Wishing Santa had left a little more crystal meth in your stocking?

  117. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:06

    Dennis, I don’t know you and I’m not going to psychoanalyze you over the Internet but, seriously, your propaganda would be a lot more effective if you were, let’s say, at church or spending time with your family on Christmas, instead of acting like a humorless dick on the Internet. Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas.

  118. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:07

    Every one of you guys come to this blog to brag about what you got

    Yep, that’s really despicable, talking about presents we got that in some cases some of us didn’t ask for.

    Like the iPad I got so my wife can see our dog when she’s in the Philippines next year. How dare we share personal details about our lives on a librul snark blog. It’s all part of the War on Christmas.

    On a day that you think is a big joke

    No, we think you’re a big joke. Slight difference there.

    Further evidence of what intellectually dishonest and selfless hypocrites you are.

    Sorry that this blog give you such a big stick up your butt. Perhaps you could leave us alone instead of trying to play the big moralizer around here.

  119. Thread Bear said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:08

    This day is for making other people in my life happy.
    Well, if you made them all as happy as you’ve made us here at Sadly, No! then I must commend you on failing miserably.

  120. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:15

    I guess that if everyone at SN! were truly selfless, Sadlynauts would be hanging around at Jeff Goldstein’s place lecturing people there about their perceived shortcomings. Seems like the Christian thing to do.

  121. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:17

    Dennis, Christmas Eve doesn’t count–today is the birthday of Our Lord. Get your ass to church, stat, you hypocrite.

  122. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:24

    Why do people, including non-Christians, give gifts at Christmas? Some kind of widespread social convention with a largely secular meaning? No, that can’t be it. Help us out here, Dennis.

  123. Thread Bear said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:25

    Seriously, militant Christianity and deriding other people’s’ beliefs as aggressively and obnoxiously as nearly all Tea Partiers do is in direct conflict with the gift-exchanging, family dinner celebrating and sentimentality folks here are partaking in in this day. Makes no sense at all. None. It’s hypocrisy at a very high level.

    Fixed to present a slightly different point of view.

    And a handy flow chart:
    http://freakoutnation.com/2013/12/03/amazing-christian-writer-creates-s-simple-flowchart-disproving-theres-a-war-on-christmas/

  124. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:36

    Wait, wait, I think I’ve got it–non-Christians give gifts at Christmas as a sort of shamefaced bow to the correctness and primacy of the Christian religion! Some kind of, I don’t know, tribute that vice pays to virtue, to coin a phrase. Am I right, Dennis?

  125. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:41

    Me, I give gifts at Christmas to enjoy the thrill that comes from appearing to participate in a Christian holiday without believing in the divinity of Jesus. I’m pretty wicked and dishonest that way.

    Honestly, Dennis, if you could hear yourself. I guess you are very fortunate not to have been born gay in this time and place. I don’t think you are much of an advertisement for Christian love, however.

  126. Thread Bear said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:51

    Thread Bear-

    Maybe so. You make that point over and over. You’ll do it next year and the next and the next. Why do you imitate them, then?

    Actually, I was imitating you.

  127. mister helpful said,

    December 25, 2013 at 23:52

    Dennis, you are perplexed, so let me try to help you. In America, it’s customary to get a day off from work, give gifts, eat a big meal with your family, and even go to church once a year, at Christmastime. For a lot of people, like me, for example, none of this has much of anything to do with strong religious belief. I hope you have found this enlightening.

  128. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:01

    wow, it must be awesome to be dennis…honest to a tee, makes the correct choices in life EVERY SINGLE TIME, is modest, incredibly supportive, wmpathetic and has conquered any distressing familial issues with a he-man like aplomb….all while having more than enough money because he is awesome at business too…

    o, sadlies! when will we give up our foolish ways and emulate dennis? we should all try to be like him except for the constant trolling of a snark site where his obsession with another poster borders ….no, wait….IS fucking creepy as hell…his persistence at this excerise in immature facility is almost as epic as his failure to read words and comprehend them…

  129. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:07

    It makes no sense for a militant atheist to succumb to religious traditions

    Who said I’m a “militant” atheist, as opposed to the non-militant kind (like the majority of Americans who self-identify as non-religious)? You need to stop psychoanalyzing strangers over the Internet.

  130. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:08

    mister helpful…you are a delight, sir!

  131. Thread Bear said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:22

    No you weren’t. I’ve never acted that way.
    I meant I was imitating you in as much I was making the same point over and over again ad nauseam.

  132. Some Militant Atheist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:24

    Deck the hall with boughs of holly,
    Fa la la la la la la la la.
    ‘Tis the season to be jolly,
    Fa la la la la la la la la.
    Don we now our gay apparel
    Troll the ancient Christmas carol,
    Fa la la la la la la la la.

  133. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:48

    You’re anything but selfless.

    “If any civilization is to survive, it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject.” – Ayn Rand

    Hey, she’s your prophet, not mine.

  134. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:54

    Dennis, now I’m perplexed. How is a gay person who comes out and is rejected by his or her family for doing so “living a lie”? Aren’t the gay person’s family members who would prefer for him or her to go back into the closet the ones who are being “dishonest”? What would you tell one of your own kids who tried to come out? Why do you think a bunch of non-religious strangers on the Internet would be impressed by your toxic attitudes and want to adopt them?

  135. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:55

    …aaaaaaand in typical dennis fashion, he gets it completely wrong!

  136. Millicent Atheist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 0:59

    The giving of gifts on Christmas is only a selfless act if you truly believe in Christ and Heaven and Hell. For there is nothing more selfless than wanting to save your soul from eternal damnation.

  137. Dennis also said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:05

    I POOPIED MYSELF FOR CHRISTMAS

  138. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:10

    Jesus is a lot like Elvis. I love the guy but the fans can get pretty creepy.

  139. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:10

    Ayn Rand was a great big atheist, but I’m pretty sure she gave Christmas presents. Funny how that works.

    As for me, however, I’m tired of living a lie–from now on, this atheist is going to succumb in no way to Christmas. I’m showing up for work every Christmas morning from here on in, no exceptions. Thanks, Dennis!

  140. SoggyLogic said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:11

    Say, isn’t celebrating and exchanging gifts on a day near the solstice a much older tradition than anything to do with that feller what got nailed up?

  141. Dennis also said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:12

    NOW IM GONNA POOPY YOU TOO

  142. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:14

    oh very completely…i have been very honest herenaboutnthe fact that I’m not enamored with organized religion and that i have been questioning god’s existence but not jesus’…and i have never once claimed to be an atheist…as far as ‘bashing’ christians? yep, i totes do…the hypocritical ones…

  143. Some guy said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:29

    Why do you celebrate the birthday of Jesus after bashing people who believe in him, for believing in him?

    WTF, Pennis! this is the USA, Christmas for everybody of every religion is all about buying a bunch of shit at the mall, and then eating and drinking to excess.

    who the fuck are you trying to kid?

  144. Suezboo said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:40

    One may (nay, should) be an atheist, militant or tolerant, and yet participate happily in the cultural traditions of one’s native society.
    IMO.
    Besides, I like the food and the carols.

  145. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:44

    I gave my mom a boxed set of movie musicals, my brother a whiskey cake, my sister a tea strainer and also some sea salt caramel chocolates because the tea strainer was a stupid gift, my stepfather a $10 Playstation Store card, my stepgrandfather the flannel shirt he’d asked for, my father “A Night at the Opera”, and my stepmother a $10 Starbucks gift card. Not all great gifts but you can’t say I haven’t given nothing.

  146. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:47

    I can’t recall the part of the bible that says we should put up trees and shop ourselves into stupors buying presents to exchange on baby jebus’ birfday. Perhaps that’s because it aint in there.

    There are cultural Jews – they continue Jewish traditions but don’t worship Jehov *OUCH* There are cultural Catholics (me, frinstance) who love their Friday fish fries. Then there are the cultural Xians who participate in the secular aspects of the Saturnalia er, I mean Dies Natalis Solis Invicti er, I mean Jöl er, I mean Christmas which, frankly, is far more secular anymore than religious.

  147. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:47

    The Invisible Hand compels us to buy shit at Christmas–the holiday shopping season is the cornerstone of the American consumer economy. Which is one hell of a crazy way to run the economy of a major country, when you think about it.

    Excitingly, an eminent theologian recently offered her opinions about the very questions Dennis has raised today, suggesting that people who refuse to acknowledge the religious dimension of Christmas are sworn enemies of Martin Luther King and William Wilberforce.

    That’s the second time in a few days that I’ve run across a Republican invoking Wilberforce. This must be some kind of talking point, like all the Republican yammer about Frederick Douglass lately.

  148. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:49

    Question for Pennis. Did you exchange gifts? Do you have a tree? Mistletoe perhaps? Go caroling?

  149. Sistah Soulstice said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:51

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQFu3zwEDs0

  150. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:51

    And among the things I got were NEW KITCHEN KNIVES WOOHOO! I was afraid my mom would take me seriously and get me a lemon zester. Didn’t get any books besides a handmade blank book. Not sure how to feel about that. I am tired of getting books for gifts since I have so many but still I want a book to read now. I have actually made marks in the blank book, which is amazing since usually those books are left unused because they’re too special.

  151. Thread Bear said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:56

    Oooh, I could use a lemon zester! Actually, I could use a key lime zester to add a touch of citrus to my next batch of wheat beer.

  152. Charlie Brown said,

    December 26, 2013 at 1:56

    I got a rock.

  153. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:01

    Dennis, I need to know more about these fraudulent, hypocritical gay people of whom you speak. Have a heart, man.

  154. Nym said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:01

    I have actually made marks in the blank book, which is amazing since usually those books are left unused because they’re too special.

    I hear ya. I ended up finally rolling my own (discbound) journal because I didn’t feel so self-conscious about writing in it.

  155. Nym said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:02

    Thread Bear: a Microplane grater should do the job well, though the shreds it makes are a bit fine (and soft) for garnishes. It sounds like you’re using them for flavor, though.

  156. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:13

    oooh, dennis…you’re getting a little hissy! I didnt say I believed jesus was god’s son…i believe jesus was a man and really existed and I like a lot of the things he said…getting to be with my family is what’s important to me at the holidays…like suezboo I like the lights and the carols and traditions and the giving of gifts…anyone who know me (and yes, that excludes you) knows i love to celebrate just about anything…any excuse for getting together is good enough for me!

  157. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:20

    Oh gads…we’re going to eat again…

  158. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:22

    One characteristic of revolutions is the attempt to establish new holidays, to replace the old ones that are still rotten with half-remembered religious customs. The Jacobins observed Feasts of Reason that, unfortunately, exactly replicated the form of religious mystification. In Europe and the US, the industrial proletariat celebrated May Day on the traditional date of a harvest festival, with the wary tolerance of the authorities. In the US, May Day was suppressed in favor of the anodyne Labor Day. In Bolshevik Russia, May Day became a national holiday.

  159. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:23

    also, too…what do you expect out of a snark blog?

  160. St. Pupienus of PENIS and also POOP said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:24

    You have a Yule tree! YOU PAGAN!

  161. DataSnake said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:25

    Happy Freeza Day, everybody!

  162. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:28

    You don’t want a lemon zester. You want a microplane tool. Much more than a zester though it is also the best zester there is.

  163. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:32

    i would love a lemon zest tear…and a kitchen aid mixer and the whatever thing you got…but then I would need a bigger kitchen, which would mean a bigger house…which I guess is what I really need…a new house is now officially on my list!

  164. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:35

    Also, my mom did give a duck. It was delicious.

  165. The Dark Avenger said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:36

    Pennis, help me out. How could my noble spouse have given me an iPad that, according to you, was what I wanted, when I stated in my comment that it was a surprise?

    She got it so that we could communicate via Internet video when she goes back to the Philippines next year for a while, so she can check on our dog, Papong, and be reassured that he’s fine.

    The interface is easy to use, but if I could’ve used my Windoz computer to accomplish the same task, I could live without it.

    I’ll get used to it.

  166. mister helpful said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:42

    I have no idea what your reference to gay people is, mh.

    That’s disingenuous, Dennis. Up the thread you said, “Most normal folks would’ve told their dad to fuck off and been done with him years ago. Cerb isn’t honest. With herself, or with you guys, or with her dad.” Apparently you think Cerberus is in the wrong somehow for the way her family has reacted to her sexual orientation.

    Now that I’ve refreshed your memory, do you want to explain your opinion? Or would you prefer just to box the compass by showing yourself to be dumb, mean, cowardly, and a liar?

  167. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 2:45

    But I guess I should have not giving anybody anything, thrown away any gifts I got, and stayed in my room all night and day because I believe the Nativity story is kind of convulted.

  168. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:02

    showing yourself to be dumb, mean, cowardly, and a liar?

    He’s trying to demonstrate how libruls are dumb, mean, cowardly and liars. His aim just fell a little short, that’s all.

  169. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:07

    We’re all watching holiday movies

    Got something against CHRISTMAS movies?

  170. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:08

    Apparently you can say anything you want about anybody just so long as you sprinkle the word “faith” in there enough times.

    Patriotism used to be the last refuge of a scoundrel but today I think it’s “faith”.

  171. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:14

    Patriotism used to be the last refuge of a scoundrel but today I think it’s “faith”.

    I think the English had already seen that in their history before Samuel Johnstons’ famous quote, with Titus Oates. See: The Popish Plot, which Rev Oates fabricated out of thin air.

    No Popery!

  172. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:24

    You say it’s all bullshit.

    No, just the sky fairy part. Ritual is important for us humans, as Joseph Campbell said. We’ve had rituals around the solstice since long before there was an alleged babby jebus.

    If you don’t like that we make fun of your ridiculous ideas you sheould get some less ridiculous ideas.

  173. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:26

    Also, my mom did give a duck.

    To D-KW, one presumes.

  174. The Dark God of Time, and Sweet Potatoes AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:44

    Why did you pick the Christian holiday for the gift exchange when that’s the religion you mock the most?

    When and where have I mocked Christianity, Pennis?

    See my comment about Jesus and Elvis @ 12/25, 3:XX AM.

    But thanks for spending time here instead of with your family, yammering about how we hate those poor, poor, persecuted Christians but are selfish hypocrites.

    That demonstrates your own priorities on what is one of the most revered days on the Christian calendar, as well as how much you act out the principals of Jesus Christ, as outlined in Matthew, Mark, John and Luke, on that very day.

    You old devil, you.

  175. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:44

    Personally, I’m not in the closet. My mom knows I’m not religious and she knows my brother’s girlfriend is Jewish, but she had us both over for Christmas dinner and we exchanged gifts and had fun. Tons of non-Christians celebrate Christmas. Deal with it.

  176. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:45

    we also celebrate our dog Luci’s birthday on christmas day…hootie’s was on thanksgiving…maeve was born near the end of january…any holidays then we could celebrate her birthday on?

  177. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:46

    For the great majority of people who “celebrate” Xmas it’s a secular event. So piss off you bitter little loser.

  178. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:48

    Pennis has to get his attention here because no one in his family will talk to him, apparently.

  179. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:50

    I would submit that exchanging gifts and preparing a special meal is not ‘hardcore’….now if pup went to church, arranged a Christmas cantata and directed the choir and then participated in a live nativity, that I would call hardcore…also, I would further submit that Easter would be the holiest of days, for that was when the magic happened so to speak…

  180. Saint The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 3:53

    Have a good life, cowboi.

  181. SoggyLogic said,

    December 26, 2013 at 4:02

    I wrote… 7 posts. I didn’t win, though.

    ftfy

  182. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 4:05

    holy feck, dennis! do you have some sort of reading disability where you only identify certain words? the Christmas thing has been explained to you over and over again! what’s not to get for fuck’s sake? I grew up celebrating Christmas…my entire family celebrates Christmas…it’s part of my heritage…sometimes we’re very churchy, sometimes not so much…but I don’t go around claiming it to be my holiday and attach meanings to it…

    and what that has to do with ‘mocking’ Christians who very publicly say or do very non-Christian things, I don’t know….

  183. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 4:08

    .now if pup went to church, arranged a Christmas cantata and directed the choir and then participated in a live nativity

    Ooooooh………..kinky!

  184. SoggyLogic said,

    December 26, 2013 at 4:14

    like the hardcore believers on their most holiest of days.

    Because you’re only allowed to celebrate a holiday that was co-opted from pagans if you’re a “hardcore believer” in Christianity.

    What, exactly, that entails is a bit of a mystery, but there you have it.

    Is it ok for actual pagans to celebrate, or was that right taken away when the holiday was absorbed into the Christian canon?

    At this point, do you have to be Christian, or can you be a “hardcore believer” in crass commercialism?

    These and many other questions will be answered on tonight’s episode of “The Anus Belches.”

  185. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 4:17

    I prolly just gave him an idea for next year, didn’t i…

    pup: ho? you know how we keep talking about spicing up our sex life?
    teh ho: yeah?
    pup: well…

  186. A Militant Atheist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 5:12

    According to Dennis’ logic it is hypocritical for a noncitizen of the United States to celebrate the Fourth of July.

  187. kg said,

    December 26, 2013 at 5:15

    Seriously am I the only o e who exclusively wears pee j (c wot I did there) pants constantly while at home?,Does this make me a giant faggorz, cos mrs g would like advanced notice.

  188. S. cerevisiae said,

    December 26, 2013 at 6:14

    I will celebrate any holiday that involves large quantities of food and drink.

    On the topic of the post, I can’t believe how junior high the wingnuts are. I still think they are being expertly trolled.

  189. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 6:31

    What other useful and comfortable clothing item should Obama put in his next ad so conservatives have to abandon it lest they get Obama’s gay cooties?

  190. Saint The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 6:32

    Underpants, obviously.

  191. Thread Bear said,

    December 26, 2013 at 7:14

    False argument.
    Look in the mirror Dennis. Yes, Pup mocks Christians on this site. This site is pretty much dedicated to mocking the extreme right in this country. The vast majority of the extreme right in this country claim to be Christian. So yes, we all end up mocking Christians, sometimes we mock their use of religion as a tool for political gain and often we mock them for things that have nothing to do with religion. However, Pups argument here is not mocking Christians in any way. You are saying that we are being selfish and hypocritical because we are co-opting a Christian holiday. Pup is simply pointing out that, by your own argument, you are also selfish and hypocritical because you are celebrating a co-opted pagan holiday. Pup is not mocking all Christians, only the ones who claim to have the sole right to co-opt holidays.

  192. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 26, 2013 at 8:02

    Your logic and reason will get you nowhere this season Thread Bear. Also, too: happy holidays you bunch of wankers! May the holy FSM bless you with good food, good beer, and attractive strippers (of appropriate variety) this festive season.

  193. Hogeye Grex said,

    December 26, 2013 at 8:33

    good beer, and attractive strippers

    Beer volcanoes and stripper factories?

    Merry FSMas

  194. VCarlson said,

    December 26, 2013 at 10:05

    I have actually made marks in the blank book, which is amazing since usually those books are left unused because they’re too special.

    Like Nym, I hear ya. I think I used to have a nice collection of lovely things that are too good to use, but then I think of my Grandmother, who stored the string of pearls Dad gave her and wore fake ones, because the real ones were too nice to wear. She also put plastic covers (sold for the purpose, so she wasn’t the only one) on her couch and car seats. Then I give that beautiful handmade card to someone … or at least seriously consider it.

  195. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 14:17

    Since I’m not Canadian it’s hypocritical of me to wish someone Happy Boxing Day today.

  196. Provider_UNE said,

    December 26, 2013 at 14:30

    A belated Merry Christianistmas everyone, Happy Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Festivus and what ever you all might be into in the interregnum betwixt the co-option o f the pagan solstice holiday and the New Year.

    Dear friends, the days, they are lengthening and that is to be celebrated…

    Woooooooooohoooooooooo!!!

  197. Fenwick said,

    December 26, 2013 at 15:27

    I have been given two Blank Books as Christmas gifts; both were awkard to recieve. Part of my reluctance to use them stemmed from apprehension that what I write in the book might be ‘unworthy’ of a gift. Both my Blank Books were quality paper, well-bound, and nicely covered. (The smaller had a handsome faux dark-red leather with decorative gold embossing .)

    So handsome a Blank Book! Therefore its pages must be filled with only the cleverest epigrams or beautifully polished poetry–I have written only five in my life–or fairhand copies of never-seen-before writing, essays, fiction. Anything dross, anything of less quality, would demean the Blank Book and (far worse in my eyes) would demean Kathy, my beloved Sis who gave it to me. (My haid works sorta strange at times…)

    If I merely jotted cryptic notes or half-baked ideas or doodled with names; or, if I used the in a Blank Book as an ersatz appointment book, or did anything utilitarian with it, then somehow I was demeaning the gift and the person who gave me the present. Weird, huh? Do the other Blank Book reciepients feel anything similar?

    I use for the red-bound book to record rune casts*, including date, question, and rune diagram. (I use only runic divination, btw; and I cast runes seldomly.) So I used one of the gift books for recording Magic, a special book to record portents, omens, prophecy, the will of pagan gods.

    The other Blank Book is a well-made hard-cover artist’s sketchbook with good paper for pencil, charcoal, and/or chalk. I plan to use this book during the Colorado Plateau journey in 2014.

    ————–
    Hmmm, that was sorta windy. But the whole ramblin’ thang was triggered by Sadlies’ comments about Blank Book gifts. So this longish comment is really their fault. Also Hitler.

  198. Nym said,

    December 26, 2013 at 16:11

    Do the other Blank Book reciepients feel anything similar?

    Oh, that is EXACTLY how I feel about them, which is why when I first started trying to journal in general I started with LiveJournal (after all, it’s not really paper– heck, the reader can even override your design settings if they find them hard to look at).

    As I said, I eventually rolled my own journal to feel more at ease with the whole idea (basically taking one of the less expensive discbound books from Staples and tweaking the cover and interior pages to suit me).

  199. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 16:31

    i too have received the blank books…some i’ve written in, some i haven’t…for the most part, i don’t use them because i’m more comfortable keyboarding, but the writing class i took in november required handwritten assignments, and i actually enjoyed it. it was just one of many excuses i used to get out of actually writing…i’m a self-conscious writer no matter what the medium…anyhoo, the blank book this year came from my sister and the front cover states: ‘evil plans and stuff’

  200. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 17:26

    Imagine my disappointment when I found out that Boxing Day didn’t involve any punches getting thrown.

  201. Saint The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 17:33

    According to one comment I saw on the Internets’, apparently for a while in England they would broadcast a boxing match on the TV on this date to fit in with the “Boxing” theme.

  202. Austin Loomis said,

    December 26, 2013 at 17:47

    While completely naked, Pennis spouted the following:

    How difficult it must be to proudly and loudly proclaim oneself a militant atheist but not to have been blessed with logical analytic skills or the ability to articulate them when asked about their apparent hypocrisy.

    Me: DA, you regularly make fun of people who believe in God and Jesus as His Son, why did your wife choose Dec. 25 to give you an iPad?

    DA: Argle bargle gargle google no workie margle booboo, you butthole.

    So tell us, Pennis: do you have to actively work at never understanding anything ever, or does never understanding anything just come naturally to you?

  203. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 26, 2013 at 17:57

    The fact is, I stand behind the Duck Commander an d salute His America, not Your America of homosexual and dependency freeloader loving degeneral liberals. By the way, Hitler was a liberal.

  204. Shakezula said,

    December 26, 2013 at 18:01

    What’s next, guys? How Obama’s sock color choice proves he hates America? Whether or not Obamacare whitens your teeth enough to protect America from darkies?

    My money is on something to do with one or both of the girls. All it will take is someone to manufacture a suitable plausible story (i.e. any story that doesn’t involve unicorns) that justifies a declaration of open season.

  205. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 18:04

    Imagine my disappointment when I found out that Boxing Day didn’t involve any punches getting thrown.

    Never spent the holidays in Ireland, I take it.

  206. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 18:24

    That word “hypocrite.” It does not mean what you think it means.

  207. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 26, 2013 at 18:36

    If you’re such a rootin-tootin Christian why don’t you just forgive us?

  208. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 18:51

    I’m saying it’s hypocritical to do both. I’m saying Pupienius and bbkf in particular are the guiltiest at it.

    o rlly?!

  209. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:04

    That the current common term for it is “Christmas” indicates only that most people in the west identify as christians. I was celebrating Dies Natalis Solis Invictus, YOU called it christmas.

    The idea that Christians chose to celebrate the birth of Jesus on 25 December because this was the date of an already existing festival of the Sol Invictus was expressed in an annotation to a manuscript of a work by 12th-century Syrian bishop Jacob Bar-Salibi. The scribe who added it wrote: “It was a custom of the Pagans to celebrate on the same 25 December the birthday of the Sun, at which they kindled lights in token of festivity. In these solemnities and revelries the Christians also took part. Accordingly when the doctors of the Church perceived that the Christians had a leaning to this festival, they took counsel and resolved that the true Nativity should be solemnised on that day.”

  210. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:04

    Your answers are rote tritisms, not worthy of a C+ in middle school. You guys can’t be honest with even yourselves.I’m not arguing that you can’t enjoy Christmas Day in any way you wish. I’m not arguing that you can’t mercilessly chastise and berate anyone who believes in God and Christ as His Son. I’m saying it’s hypocritical to do both. I’m saying Pupienius and bbkf in particular are the guiltiest at it. Neither one of them is able to admit their hypiocrisy, or put forth even a high school freshman level answer that is honest about it.

    it’s you who’s being dishonest here, dennis…we don’t mercilessly chastise or berate anyone who believes in god and christ as his son…we mock a certain segment of those persons who profess to be christian but who either are caught doing very unchristian things or who chastise and berate or enact laws against persons who do not share their particular faith…i’m happy for people who have faith in something…i used to, but after a series of personal tragedies and having a front row seat to how churches operate, i’m not a big fan of organized religion…and i’ve been very honest that i don’t understand how god got here…and created everything…the whole universe just boggles my mind…as for jesus, as i said last night: i believe he was a man who did exist…he apparently thought he was the messiah and he sacrificed his life in a horrific way for his followers’ sakes…i don’t believe he was actually the son of god, because i can’t figure god out…i grew up celebrating christmas (we’ve gone over this before too), and i love many of the elements of the holiday…mostly the specifically taking the time to be good to others…so why would i purposely set out to upset my in-laws because i’m wavering on some issues? maybe being a dick to your family comes naturally to you, but i won’t do it…and that’s the final answer you’re going to get from me, not that i even owe you that much…

  211. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:06

    The idea that Christians chose to celebrate the birth of Jesus on 25 December because this was the date of an already existing festival of the Sol Invictus was expressed in an annotation to a manuscript of a work by 12th-century Syrian bishop Jacob Bar-Salibi. The scribe who added it wrote: “It was a custom of the Pagans to celebrate on the same 25 December the birthday of the Sun, at which they kindled lights in token of festivity. In these solemnities and revelries the Christians also took part. Accordingly when the doctors of the Church perceived that the Christians had a leaning to this festival, they took counsel and resolved that the true Nativity should be solemnised on that day.”

    huh…the more you know, i guess…

  212. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and also POOP too said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:14

    Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas, he thought… doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps… means a little bit more!

  213. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:17

    hmmm…whilst googling ‘hypocrisy’, i came across this and of course, the definition of hypocrisy, which is defined as:

    1. the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense.

    so, there ya go…wrong again, dennis…

  214. Megyn Kelly said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:18

    Jesus and Santa were both white.

    So are unicorns, leprechauns, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy.

    Suck on THAT, Mr. Affirmative Action President and the rest of you 47 percenters.

  215. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:28

    But you see, the troll isn’t hating on the Christers like us, he doesn’t have to say he’s a Christian in order to defend them from librul haterz like us, he hasn’t spoken out against secularists who don’t celebrate Xmas as a religious holiday.

    He uses whatever cudgel he thinks he can use against the commentators on a librul haterz snark blog, serving as the lone moral beacon of this blog, defending the Christian majority from the oncoming tide we may represent. He just can’t get quit of us, always attempting to find buttons to push.

  216. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:35

    If you can still be an authentic atheist and celebrate *Christ* mass (btw…for the slow of thinking the clue is in the name;), then, presumably you can still be an authentic transphobe and celebrate Transgender Day of Remembrance? Duh. I guess illusions are cosy though, eh?

    uhhhhhh, no? as you can see here, a transphobe would harbor

    Negative attitudes and feelings towards transsexualism and transsexual or transgender people, based on the expression of their internal gender identity.

    you cannot equate ‘disbelief or rejection’ (atheism) with a ‘phobia’:

    Usually these kinds of “phobias” are described as fear, dislike, disapproval, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, or hostility towards the object of the “phobia”.

  217. Shakezula said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:36

    Part of my reluctance to use them stemmed from apprehension that what I write in the book might be ‘unworthy’ of a gift.

    Attention Blank Book Receiving Sadlites:

    For a small fee I will take possession of your BBs for a few days and doodle dicks and butts on a few pages and maybe a throw in a screwed up collage of Katherine Jean Lopez riding Ex-Pope Ratzi avec spurs and riding crop. Once you get it back and stop shuddering, any other use you put it to will seem worthy and dignified and all that jazz.

  218. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:38

    For a small fee I will take possession of your BBs for a few days and doodle dicks and butts on a few pages and maybe a throw in a screwed up collage of Katherine Jean Lopez riding Ex-Pope Ratzi avec spurs and riding crop. Once you get it back and stop shuddering, any other use you put it to will seem worthy and dignified and all that jazz.

    you are truly a giver, shake…

  219. Rev. Fred Phelps said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:38

    Dennis is 100% correct. How dare you fags and atheists celebrate Jesus’ birthday?

  220. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:38

    If you can still be an authentic atheist Protestant and celebrate *Christ* mass (btw…for the slow of thinking the clue is in the name

    Our Puritan ancestors weren’t having any of that papist holiday claptrap.

  221. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:44

    dang, i dig this pope*!

    *although i find the whole pope and vatican city thing to be rather silly…dude is still pretty bad ass…

  222. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:46

    We only hate people like Fred Phelps because they’re devout, not because they spew a hateful message in the name of Christianity.

  223. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:49

    i find the whole pope and vatican city thing to be rather silly

    Italy found the whole Papal States to be too silly. And the Vatican is on a site that was sacred to the Roman religion, Pope comes from Pontifex, who was a priest who blessed bridges in the RR.

  224. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 20:30

    You didn’t make a case, bbkf.

    see: bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 19:04

    the official definition was just for fyi…i’ve already stated that i no longer go to church because i don’t believe in them any more…and i make no bones about questioning god’s existence…i try to be a good person…i visit a snark blog where i am rude, sarcastic, mean, bitchy and whatever because #1 i find most of the commenters here to be intelligent, amusing and supportive people and #2 it’s a better way to blow off steam and certainly much better than killing or maiming someone…and you come here why?

  225. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 20:35

    Dennis, do you live in Pitman, New Jeresy? Because it’s not nice to deface signs.

  226. Failure Artist said,

    December 26, 2013 at 20:38

    People did get angry one of the Obama daughters wore a shirt with a peace sign on it. They said it was a broken cross.

  227. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 20:46

    People did get angry one of the Obama daughters wore a shirt with a peace sign on it. They said it was a broken cross.

    The broken cross thing is an urban legend.

    The peace sign is the semaphore codes “N” and “D” for Nuclear Disarmament superimposed over each other.

  228. Shakezula said,

    December 26, 2013 at 21:40

    Frothy fundagelicals believe the peace sign (or at least the birdy foot you get when you take away the circle) is a sign of the devil. But those cats see devil symbolism everywhere.

  229. Cerberus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 21:44

    Did our resident troll literally spend all of Christmas trying to last minute get a “War on Christmas” high horse going to be superior to? And it’s the commentators of this blog who are supposed to feel ashamed about that?

    Okay, whatever. Cool.

    Happy First Day of Kwanzaa everybody.

    As per Kwanzaa tradition, remember this week the importance of connections with those important to you, whether they be family or created family. Remember to be creative and to support your local minority-owned businesses. And if you so choose, you can remember those forgotten by history and those deliberately ignored by history and that the price of our country starting out was the destruction of so many African cultures and families.

    Or just enjoy the aftermath of your Xmas celebrations because that shit hasn’t been religious since like 1960 at the latest (sorry psycho fundie Christians, turned out the “War” wasn’t with atheists, but capitalism, and you never stood a fucking chance in that match up).

    Whatever, either way, I need another day off just to emotionally recuperate and focus on what matters most to me and mine, so see you all December 27th.

  230. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 26, 2013 at 21:53

    The fact is, I am sick of the homosexual driving his beleafs up are bums.

  231. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 26, 2013 at 21:54

    The fact is, I am also sick of minorites who are anti Christian using Christmas as an excuse to not work. These shiftless non-USAians need to be deptforded.

  232. Duck Power USA said,

    December 26, 2013 at 21:56

    HEY Libtartds we The Peopler Built America yout ry to tear it apart with bias in the medioa and hating GOD, Sarah Palin has you number as does Rich Robinson

  233. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:01

    HEY Libtartds we The Peopler Built America yout ry to tear it apart with bias in the medioa and hating GOD, Sarah Palin has you number as does Rich Robinson

    so you’re chinese and african american…good on you!

  234. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:02

    Or just enjoy the aftermath of your Xmas celebrations

    i am still suffering severely from my christmas food hangover…

  235. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:43

    Uncouth references to small government? How shocking. (Yawn)

  236. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:45

    Rich Robinson…wasn’t he in the Black Crowes?

  237. Major Kong said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:46

    I’ve never celebrated Kwanzaa but if there’s drinking involved I might give it a go.

  238. bbkf said,

    December 26, 2013 at 22:50

    These shiftless non-USAians need to be deptforded.

    is this better than being stepforded?

  239. Shakezula said,

    December 26, 2013 at 23:27

    I think he means they should get sent to London.

  240. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 23:27

    Today in Not The Onion, Texas bar bans gay men over safety risk for dancing to country music instead of hip hop.

  241. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 26, 2013 at 23:52

    “Enjoying Christmas without being religious is like enjoying a Van Gogh painting without thinking it’s a photograph and without cutting off your ear.” – found on teh Intraducks.

  242. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 26, 2013 at 23:53

    They said it was a broken cross.

    It’s also a not-very-funny reference to the hakenkreuz.

  243. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:10

    People did get angry one of the Obama daughters wore a shirt with a peace sign on it. They said it was a broken cross.

    Back in the 60s and 70s ☮ was frequently thought of by the conservatives as an inverted cross – SATANIC! Of course it was actually designed by Gerald Holtom in 1958, for the British nuclear disarmament movement, as a combination of the semaphore signals for “N” and “D” – Nuclear Disarmament.

  244. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:12

    We were told to not wear them. Ever but specifically not in Catechism classes or in church. Because they were an inverted crucifix and thus anti-Jesus.

  245. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:14

    Happy Boxing Day everybody!

  246. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:19

    Who surprise surprise only attacks Christianity.

    1. If raising questions about your faith is attacking your faith then you don’t have much faith.
    2. At this site perhaps but at other sites I’m quite vocal about all belief in magic, regardless of which flavor be it christianism or Deepak Chopra, being caca.
    3. Though the most fre

  247. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:21

    Who surprise surprise only attacks Christianity.

    1. If raising questions about your faith is attacking your faith then you don’t have much faith.
    2. At this site perhaps but at other sites I’m quite vocal about all belief in magic, regardless of which flavor be it christianism or Deepak Chopra, being caca.
    3. Though the most frequent “victim” here is Xinanity – because it’s the most commmon flavor among the believers here – I’m pretty damn sure I’ve skewered other nonsensical religious bullshit.

    Also FYWP

  248. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:24

    Not the issue with you, Pupienus. You profess to be a militant atheist. Who surprise surprise only attacks Christianity.

    Why travel halfway round the world to attack Zoroastrians when there’s a nice fat target right here? There’s enough venality, corruption, hypocrisy and lies in the homegrown American flavors of Christianity to keep a couple million militant atheists busy for a century. And I’m just going out on a limb here, but I think J. Random Militant Atheist might not necessarily look to you as an authority on how to be a proper militant atheist. And further I think if you find yourself specifically targeted for attention by militant atheists, you might want to look at how you specifically are being an asshole, cause in an America filled with serially molesting priests, slack jawed snake handlers, con-man televangelists and creepy power mad theocrats and their bumbling minions, militant atheists have an embarrassingly* target rich environment.

    *for those asserting the virtue of christians and christianity in general

  249. El Manquécito said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:31

    Why travel halfway round the world to attack Zoroastrians when there’s a nice fat target right here?

    Cause you might get distracted in Rome or Qum on the way?

  250. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:53

    From the Pyramid Texts, some religious cheer for the Holiday Season:

    “Unis(a Pharoh of the Old Kingdom) is Sobek, green of plumage, with alert face and raised fore, the splashing one who came from the thigh and tail of the great goddess in the sunlight…Unis has appeared as Sobek, Neith’s son. Unis will eat with his mouth, Unis will urinate and Unis will copulate with his penis. Unis is lord of semen, who takes women from their husbands to the place Unis likes according to his heart’s fancy. “

  251. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 27, 2013 at 0:57

    Unis was recreated in the 20th century, originally as a one person project but then became open source resulting in Linus.

  252. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 27, 2013 at 1:11

    Let me guess, the vendor selling Linus is known as Green Hat.

  253. Charles M. Schulz said,

    December 27, 2013 at 1:23

    Ahem.

  254. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 2:04

    Don’t let him bullshit you, Pennis is actually an atheist, just like us!!!!

    - On Wednesday, he never worshipped Woden.

    - On Thursday, he never worshipped Thor.

    - On Friday, he never worshipped Frei.

    - On Saturday, he never worshipped Saturn.

  255. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 2:42

    Who cares if there’s a god anyway?

  256. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 27, 2013 at 3:52

    It occurs to me that to become a fisher of men, one must occasionally cast one’s line into the water, and not just repeatedly casting it into the gaddamned woods WHERE THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING TREES.
    .

  257. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 3:57

    Have you sought any psychotherapy for your own narcissism issues?

    What Pennis needs is some “eat shit and die” therapy.

  258. VCarlson said,

    December 27, 2013 at 4:17

    I still like Austin Loomis’ suggestion:

    please fuck as far off as you can, then rest up, then fuck off some more.

  259. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 4:37

    Some fine ideas in there, thanks for sharing, VCarlson and Austin Loomis.

    Dear Pennis: please fuck as far off as you can, and THEN eat some shit, and then fuck off some more, and THEN die.

    Any questions? Call somebody who gives a fuck.

  260. Failure Artist said,

    December 27, 2013 at 4:58

    I think even If there is a God, praying is still useless, because why should God change everything just for you? God’s going to do what God’s going to do.

  261. bbkf said,

    December 27, 2013 at 8:12

    God’s going to do what God’s going to do.

    this would be delightful as a needlepoint pillow…perhaps i will make one for mother…she would like that, wouldn’t she dennis?

  262. bbkf said,

    December 27, 2013 at 8:14

    so, pups…we are having a sunday brunch with the son, girlfriend, hubbkf, the daughter and me…hubbkf went out and bought a huge fucking ham which i would like to bake…should i go with just the basics (eggs, hashies, pastries) for the rest of the brunch, or ???

  263. Major Kong said,

    December 27, 2013 at 8:51

    God’s going to do what God’s going to do.

    George Carlin did a bit about that very subject. His point was that if everything happens according to the divine plan, then praying for something would just mess up the divine plan.

  264. Major Kong said,

    December 27, 2013 at 15:31

    It seems that Dennis’ schtick these days is to goad someone into insulting him and then feign outrage.

    Kind of like a poor man’s Ann Coulter.

  265. bbkf said,

    December 27, 2013 at 15:48

    It seems that Dennis’ schtick these days is to goad someone into insulting him and then feign outrage.

    it would also seem that he does not recognize sarcasm and or humor…do you ever laugh, dennis?

  266. Major Kong said,

    December 27, 2013 at 15:49

    Interesting. It’s as if he’s trolling you. How ironic.

  267. bbkf said,

    December 27, 2013 at 15:53

    and da has quickly careened into dickishness…

  268. Austin Loomis said,

    December 27, 2013 at 17:00

    While completely naked and still obstinately refusing to fuck as far off as he should, Pennis spouted the following:

    As a liberal, you actually believe that ugliness is a good thing, an asset for the cause.

    [citation desperately needed]

  269. bbkf said,

    December 27, 2013 at 17:23

    taking to a blog to criticize one’s parents, or to blame them for one’s unhappiness or personal discontent.

    why would i blame my parents for my brother and my dad’s deaths? i’m the only one in my family who doesn’t blame my parents for anything that has gone wrong in my life…

    let’s drop the analyzing, shall we? i’m sure there’s PENIS and POOP to discuss which is much more amusing…also, i still don’t have my brunch menu set…

  270. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 17:59

    Either Pennis never does a lick of work at his day gig, or else he’s getting wingnut welfare for trollin’ here, because somehow he manages to be here 24/7/365.

    WTF?

  271. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 18:18

    How wonderful to watch as Pennis blossoms into his new identity—- Stalwart Defender of the feelings of transgendered people everywhere!

    Pennis, you make me want to be a better man!

    Now, do us a favour and fuck off, there’s a good lad…

  272. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 18:18

    Someone is off his meds again.

  273. kg said,

    December 27, 2013 at 18:29

    Well whaddya know, the knockout game ISREAL!!!

    http://gawker.com/racist-arrested-after-breaking-important-knockout-game-1490171488

  274. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 27, 2013 at 19:18

    I wasn’t joking.

  275. Some guy said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:06

    Well, the first thing I noticed about you was the desperate stench of someone who needs attention of any kind so pathetically that they are willing to spend an excessive amount of time being insulted by complete strangers on a snark blog…

  276. kg said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:36

    I’m reminded of “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield” with these two dipshits locked in eternal combat over who’s a bigger poopyhead.

  277. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:39

    Heh. From a review of La Palin’s book:
    \

    Here’s how she deals with the fact that Christmas isn’t historically Christian: “Does that mean Christians won the war on Saturnalia? You bet! And that shows the power of new traditions to shape culture.” This in a book about how the way Christmas is being shaped by modern culture is inherently evil!

    Argument self-contradictorium? Correct! 15 points.

  278. kg said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:41

    self-refutation is central to something

  279. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:53

    And in today’s “Christian pastor arrested for gay sexx [sic] crimes”, http://allchristiannews.com/pastor-arrested-for-looking-for-gay-love-with-notes-in-a-porta-potty/

  280. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 27, 2013 at 20:59

    The pastor says that he has a high sexx drive

    Pfft. Talk to me when you merit THREE x’s rev.

  281. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 22:13

    Dennis said,
    December 27, 2013 at 21:50

    Dennis said,
    December 27, 2013 at 21:52

    Dennis said,
    December 27, 2013 at 21:53

    Dennis said,
    December 27, 2013 at 21:56

    Dennis said,
    December 27, 2013 at 21:58

    Floor boss slides up to me and he says
    “Hey sister, you just movin’ too fast,
    You screwin’ up the quota,
    You doin’ your piece work too fast,
    Now you get off your mustang sally
    You ain’t goin’ nowhere, you ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

  282. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 22:40

    That’s what’s funny about liberals on liberal blogs, they will abandon all their principles to defend another liberal.

    This point is clearly proven by linking to a blog where a whole gang of liberals rightfully call another liberal on the carpet for making some uncool remarks.

  283. Major Kong said,

    December 27, 2013 at 22:46

    Well whaddya know, the knockout game ISREAL!!!

    Kids today gotta have fancy names for everything. Back in my day we called this a “mugging”.

  284. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 22:49

    Best bit in that Palin review:

    At one point she gets so frustrated trying to put together complete thoughts (or reaching her publisher-required word count) she just starts spewing random words. “I’ve told you the power of words, so here are some good old fashioned words: Work. Honesty. Courage. Justice. Perseverance.” If only somebody had told her the power of sentences!

    Whole lot of Dennises in the comment section too.

  285. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:08

    Where is Becky Transsexual when we need her?

  286. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:08

    Whole lot of Dennises in the comment section too.

    I think it may be a duty to be one. Run Sarah Run! No, not in the other direction, RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

  287. The Fool said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:25

    You make complete fools of each other and are queer lovers

    Leave me out of this, you punk rock loser!

  288. Major Kong said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:28

    It’s painful hearing Palin wrestling with the English language and losing badly.

  289. El Manquécito said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:35

    1.RUN FOR PRESIDENT

    2. Lose

    3. Profit!!!

  290. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:39

    That excerpt really is the perfect essence of Palin, just a string of words. And I love how the first one is “work”. Has that charlatan ever done any real work in her life?

  291. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:39

    You [..] are queer lovers

    Well some us are queer but none of the queers here are lovers. Not to my knowledge, anyway.

  292. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:42

    Whole lot of Dennises in the comment section too.

    I was curious about that as those sorts of people just don’t read The Porltand Mercury. Then I saw that somebody posted the link at freerepublic. The freeper Palinbots stormed the Portland Mercury immediately.

  293. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 27, 2013 at 23:43

    Where is Becky Transsexual when we need her?

    NO ONE needs Becky. No one even wants Becky. No one wants to beinthe same venue as Becky. No one wants to be on the same planet with Becky. No sane person, that is.

  294. Failure Artist said,

    December 28, 2013 at 0:54

    I got a job interview at Harris Teeter a couple hours after submitting an online application. I thought HT was going to do a massive obsessive background search on me first. Has there been a massive plague among retail job seekers? I’m not that bad of a candidate, but I have less than a year of cummulative work experience at 28.

  295. Failure Artist said,

    December 28, 2013 at 0:57

    Ann Coulter can’t pass as human.

  296. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 1:28

    Looks like Dr pup made a correct diagnosis. AGAIN.

  297. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 28, 2013 at 1:32

    Well, isn’t that just ducky.

  298. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 28, 2013 at 1:52

    Daniel Pipes, musicologist:

    In short, Islam was the unofficial religion of bebop.

    The musicians turned to Islam in part for genuine religious reasons; in part because (in the words of a 1953 Ebony article), “Islam breaks down racial barriers and endows its followers with purpose and dignity”; and in part because Islam served them as a mark of distinction in a United States where Muslims numbered only about 100,000 out of a population of 150 million.

    Comments: (1) This connection contains a certain irony, given Islam’s dubious and sometimes directly hostile attitude toward music. For example, when the singer British Cat Stevens first converted to Islam in 1977, he stopped recording music for two decades. For a time in 2010, Somali Islamists not only banned all music but even school bells. Their counterparts in Mali in 2013 banned mobile phone ringtones.

    Fortunately Christianity, being the superior religion, has never shown hostility to music.

  299. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 28, 2013 at 2:12

    And everyone knows there is no music to be found anywhere in the Muslim world.

  300. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 28, 2013 at 2:13

    Pour Down Like Silver by Richard and Linda Thompson? Never heard of it!

  301. 'natch said,

    December 28, 2013 at 2:19

    Fortunately Christianity, being the superior religion, has never shown hostility to music.

    CERTAIN music. You know the jazz with the bebop and the reefers and the miscegenation and all.

  302. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 28, 2013 at 2:28

    What could a jazz musician gain from Islam?

  303. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 2:55

    Somehow I’m not surprised that Ol’ “Crack” Pipes doesn’t know much about the history of jazz, let alone RT, OBE.

  304. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 28, 2013 at 3:48

    having to spend Kwanzaa Week deciding what snark on this snark blog is

    But wouldn’t it be cool if Shark Week and Kwanzaa Week are celebrated together next year?

  305. Major Kong said,

    December 28, 2013 at 4:23

    Sharkwanzakah!

  306. Austin Loomis said,

    December 28, 2013 at 4:25

    While completely naked, Pennis spouted the following:

    Picture yourself as VCarlson the moderator, having to spend Kwanzaa Week deciding what snark on this snark blog is acceptable snark and what is not acceptable snark for the snark blog. How cool that must be.

    I’m sorry, I’m too busy picturing myself as Pennis the poster, having to spend every day of my alleged life being utterly unable to tell what snark on this snark blog is actual snark and what is just dickery. How blood-stoppingly lame cool that must be.

  307. St VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 5:05

    The only thing remotely difficult is the sheer volume of tiresome assholishness emanating from your general direction, Dennis (if that’s really your name).

  308. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 28, 2013 at 5:23

    Think of the productions:

    Sharka Zulu

    Dr Sharkingston and Stanley Kwanza

    Heart of Sharkness

    Sharks Fall Apart.

    Gordon of Sharktom.

    Sharkzan of the Apes.

  309. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 28, 2013 at 6:31

    I used to refer to this place, elsewhere, as S,N!

    Now, I call it the Dennis Blog.
    .

  310. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 6:46

    Huh. Well, Christmas Day included a trip to the beach for some body surfing, followed by some members of our party walking up to the Obama’s end and being stopped by a stick in the sand, behind which were guys with serious “don’t even thinkabout coming any closer” attitudes. This morning, a trip up to the Pali to be nearly blown off our feet by the wind. Gorgeous view, as usual.

  311. Smut Clyde said,

    December 28, 2013 at 12:05

    These shiftless non-USAians need to be deptforded.
    Clearly a reference to the murder of Christopher Marlowe at Deptford. Bad Gary Ruppert! Eliminationist rhetoric!

    so here are some good old fashioned words: Work. Honesty. Courage. Justice. Perseverance.
    Does “perseverance” include “completing one’s full elected term”? AFAF.

  312. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 28, 2013 at 14:52

    The fact is, The Duck King is free. You lose, liberals. We win, Real Americans. Suck it.

  313. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 28, 2013 at 14:56

    The fact is, hooray for the consitution. Hooray for free speech. Hooray for God and America, and hard work, and truth. All hail the Duck Empreror.

    NOBODY will force us to like gays and blacks.

    NOBODY will punish us for beleaf in God and get away with it.

    This is the triumph of our will.

  314. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 28, 2013 at 14:58

    The fact is, in Real America, not liberal eleite coast enclave land, we LOVE OUR GUTS. You cannot take them away from us, 2nd amendment=freedom.

  315. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 28, 2013 at 15:12

    That The Duck King said was on par with what Obama said about gay marriage in 2008 at the Saddleback Church with Rick Warren. Libs yawned. Ignored it.

    Yep, I remember it well, he was talking aout anuses and vaginas, same as Filthy Phil the Quacker King did a while back.

    Called him The Messiah

    Pulled that right out of our ass, did we now?

  316. Austin Loomis said,

    December 28, 2013 at 15:19

    DA skrev:

    Pulled that right out of our ass, did we now?

    With surprisingly little difficulty, considering that he had to squeeze it past his entire alleged head.

  317. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 28, 2013 at 15:24

    Great commentary by Jonathan Chait on RWingers and their Obama complex back in 2008:

    Next, there is Obama’s declaration that “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” The point, which he has made many times, is that voters should take responsibility themselves for enacting change, and thus that his supporters should not treat him as a savior. Obama-as-cult-leader screeds insist upon reading the meaning as the exact reverse. Conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer wrote, “in the words of his own slogan, ‘we are the ones we’ve been waiting for,’ which, translating the royal ‘we,’ means: ‘I am the one we’ve been waiting for.’” As a pundit, I’m intrigued by this technique of taking a word out of your subject’s statement and substituting its opposite. Did you know that McCain’s slogan, “Country first,” could be translated via the Krauthammer method into “Country last”? Why does John McCain hate America?

    http://indistinctunion.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/chait-on-right-wing-obama-cum-messiah-meme/

  318. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 28, 2013 at 15:29

    Over and over and over. “Thank Goddess for Sadly N0!”, you mutter under your breath.

    Thanks, Sadly, No!, for paying my dental bill yesterday.

  319. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 28, 2013 at 15:41

    The truth is, libs laugh about gays behind their backs because they know how unGodly homosex and dressing up as members of the opposite sex is, unless you were named Milton Berle 60 years ago.

  320. Some guy said,

    December 28, 2013 at 18:05

    Ewwwwwwww, gross!

  321. Sondra said,

    December 28, 2013 at 18:10

    How do they know it’s a “onesie”? Did they zoom in on the crotch?

  322. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 18:46

    when i first started catching up on the thread, i was all like, ‘boo! i missed out on a fun thread!’ then as i read further, i was all like, ‘thank goodness i missed out…it’s the great dennis and da barfathon….seriously, you two…get. the. fuck. out…

  323. Major Kong said,

    December 28, 2013 at 18:47

    Hi bbkf. How’s things up there on the prairie?

  324. Major Kong said,

    December 28, 2013 at 19:07

    Why should I care? It’s not my particular choice of sleepwear but I fail to see what spawned the right-wing hate storm.

    I mean sure, they’re already spring-loaded to the “outraged” position but this still seems like a silly thing to get worked up over.

  325. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 28, 2013 at 19:13

    Because every day should have a bit of surrealism, OLD FINNISH PEOPLE WITH THINGS ON THEIR HEADS

  326. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 28, 2013 at 19:15

    Major, they always find something, anything to get worked up about. The substance, or rather lack of, doesn’t matter – they NEED to be outraged.

  327. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:22

    – they NEED to be outraged.

    Because otherwise, they start twitching.

    OK, OK.

    They twitch MORE.

  328. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:34

    Hey PM, have you seen the Myrhvold home version? Is it worth the $?

  329. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:43

    Hi bbkf. How’s things up there on the prairie?

    actually, it’s been quite balmy the past few days…right now we’re at 37! but that is going to change: tonight’s low -16…tomorrow’s high: -7…and it just goes downhill from there…

    thanks for getting my packages to me!

  330. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:45

    Because I often joke about getting twitchy when I’m somewhere without curbside recycling, I don’t really understand the disdain expressed by many of the RW for environmentally-oriented things like recycling, prohibitions against building schools on carcinogen-laced landfills, and, oh yeah – anthropogenic climate change.

    Yes, I know that many of these cost more in the short run (and some simply cost more, period), but I know of at least one oil company that sells the heat they’re no longer allowed to simply dump – and I think they’re generating profit (as well as heat). But the response so often comes off as being on the 10-12 year-old level- “you’re not the boss of me” kind of response.

    Actually, this very common human response is why I know that any political or economic system that includes an assumption that people will behave reasonably or in their best interest is purest bullshit, and any adult pushing such a system for real-life application is a fool or a scoundrel.

  331. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:45

    Because every day should have a bit of surrealism, OLD FINNISH PEOPLE WITH THINGS ON THEIR HEADS

    ok, the cover photo was pretty cool…some of the rest, however…liiiiittle frightening…interesting concept, though…

  332. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:46

    Because I often joke about getting twitchy when I’m somewhere without curbside recycling, I don’t really understand the disdain expressed by many of the RW for environmentally-oriented things like recycling, prohibitions against building schools on carcinogen-laced landfills, and, oh yeah – anthropogenic climate change.

    because manifest destiny…also, too…’you can’t tell me what to do!’

  333. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:52

    because manifest destiny…

    Also having been “given dominion” over the earth, etc., which even if true is still bad stewardship.

  334. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 20:57

    Because every day should have a bit of surrealism, OLD FINNISH PEOPLE WITH THINGS ON THEIR HEADS

    I saw the link to the display a while ago at Echidne of the Snakes. Being Finnish (as well as a minor Greek goddess), she saw that pretty early on. I’m glad of the reminder. Pretty cool, and as Pup remarks, a bit surreal.

  335. Smut Clyde said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:01

    OLD FINNISH PEOPLE WITH THINGS ON THEIR HEADS

    That is what Finns have always worn when having conversations about health insurance

  336. VCarlson said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:15

    That is what Finns have always worn when having conversations about health insurance

    So, the sniper camo gear might explain why they got the good stuff, not the stuff that benefits corporations. Maybe that’s also what they wear when discussing public education -I understand the public schools are very good there, and the teachers are respected (and paid) as though what they’re doing is important to their society (and the teachers must alsomeet – and maintain – high standards themselves).

  337. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:24

    Hey PM, have you seen the Myrhvold home version? Is it worth the $?

    Nope, wasn’t aware of it. Check out http://modernistcuisine.com/books/modernist-cuisine-at-home/contents/

    The recipe titles don’t seem to be very Modernisty but I dunno. The e-book is $79./99. I’m considering it. I’ll see if I can find someone who has a copy which I can peruse. If I do that I’ll let you know what I find.

    BTW, I picked up some lovely lamb loin chops intending to sous vide them. Tips?

    \*I’ve mostly done steaks before – and a couple chix breasts, prok chops once or twice – because insulated cooler sous vide is kind of a pain. Now I have the Anova immersion (I’d go wild thanking Teh Ho here but I ‘spect he got it for him as much as for me) Imma be obsessed for a while.

  338. Smut Clyde said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:28

    So, the sniper camo gear might explain why they got the good stuff, not the stuff that benefits corporations
    Some of the Phinns in the fotographs look old enough to have worn actual sniper camo during the Winter War. No wonder they’re smiling.

  339. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:39

    Different kinds of meat need different immersion times to seem cooked. Dissolution of collagens, tendons, etc. I’ve yet to find reliable online guidance for this. As I said the other day I like lamb chops, seasoned, with tiny amts. of garlic and fresh rosemary and parsley, 4 hours at 130 then seared over hardwood. There is also an upper limit to immersion above which meats get less good.

  340. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 21:57

    I’ve done black pepper and za’ataar with, of course, garlic and parsley for that eastern Med. thing. Herbs will be magnified by the long immersion; less is better.

  341. St. Pupienus of PENIS and also POOP said,

    December 28, 2013 at 22:09

    I just happen to have some of zat Arrrrr stuff in my cabinet. Imagine that.

  342. Major Kong said,

    December 28, 2013 at 22:13

    I’ve never cooked sous vide. Do I understand that you immerse the meat first and then sear it just before serving?

  343. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 22:30

    Yes. It makes the meat more plump, juicy and tender than you can believe.

  344. Major Kong said,

    December 28, 2013 at 22:39

    How expensive is the setup?

  345. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 22:54

    Mine’s DIY. Commercial units are 2-4 hun. There’s a lot of DIY set ups on the toobz.

  346. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 28, 2013 at 23:15

    Teh Ho got me the Anova based in large part on Kenji Lopez-Alt’s review. Only used it once so far – for those eggs I mentioned which were incredibly spot on. Kenji has written a fair bit about sous vide which you’d do well to read through.

  347. El Manquécito said,

    December 28, 2013 at 23:22

    Kenji’s tastes are remarkably similar to mine; except for his ideas about appropriate dogs, I mean, really.

  348. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 23:27

    so, how is the sous vide contraption different from just slowly boiling some bags of stuff?

  349. bbkf said,

    December 28, 2013 at 23:49

    oh…was that the sound of mass fainting?

  350. VCarlson said,

    December 29, 2013 at 0:52

    oh…was that the sound of mass fainting?

    Guess they’re still unconscious.

  351. Austin Loomis said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:33

    VCarlson skrev:

    I don’t really understand the disdain expressed by many of the RW for environmentally-oriented things

    Because less than six months after the Berlin Wall came down, the effort by the Noise Machine to repackage its anti-Communist agitprop as anti-environmentalist agitprop was already underway. I have reference to P.J. O’Rourke’s essay “The Greenhouse Affect”, originally published in the Earth Day 1990 issue of Rolling Stone (#577, cover date May 3), reprinted in slightly modified form as “Dirt of the Earth: The Ecologists” (a chapter of his 1991 Parliament of Whores: a lone humorist attempts to explain the entire US government) and in some form or other in 1992′s The Rolling Stone Environmental Reader. Specifically to the passage in which, to convince us to be wary of the International Communist Conspiracy’s efforts to rebrand itself now that “Beardo the Weirdo” has “been laughed out of real life”* hysteria of the environmentalists, he quotes Eric Hoffer (“Mass movements can rise and spread without a belief in God, but never without a belief in a devil”), the Japanese ambassador to Axis Germany** who thought fascism was a wonderful system but could never be implemented in Japan because “we don’t have any Jews”, and exactly no actual environmentalists who have decided that the enemy is “industry” and have defined “industry” as every sector of the economy except the sector that employs the person complaining about “industry”. He imputes some variation on that last position to a lot of people, but having already primed his readers to think the worst, he doesn’t feel the need to provide any actual quotes.

    “It is as if, as Marx said (in another context, I think), the fundamentalist Visigoths cannot represent themselves; they must be represented.” (Michael Bérubé, “Public Image Limited: political correctness and the media’s big lie”, The Village Voice, 18 June 1991)

    “The mean, burbling, insinuating old bastard.” (Carradine the Third on the Sainted More, in Josephine Tey’s The Daughter of Time)

    tl;dr When the International Communist Conspiracy threw in the sponge, the Military-Industrial Complex realized they’d need some sinister foe to be keeping America free from, and they chose the environmental movement because the UN.

    (* A direct quote from O’Rourke’s call for a new McCarthyism, which — as noted in the main text — is still one more direct quote from him than he ever gave from any environmentalist at all.)
    (** I can call it that without some shrieking wingnut crying Godwin, I hope.)

  352. VCarlson said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:40

    I looked sous-vide up on teh Wiki, and my attention was caught by the mention of “DorkFood DSV,” which is a tool to turn your non-digital (darn!) rice cooker or slow cooker into a sous-vide machine. I figure the folks at DorkFood must be Blake’s 7 fans. Especially if they offer to Liberate you from having to spend too much money (or something).

  353. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:46

    It’s all about temperature control. Oh hell, I’ll let Kenji explain.

    Sous vide cooking has been around since the 1970s in restaurant and industrial settings, but only recently, with the advent of several consumer sous vide devices, has it captured the attention of the home chef. The basic premise of sous vide is that you cook food over a relatively long period of time at the temperature which you intend to serve it. The result is food that’s evenly cooked from crust to core. Because the food has been vacuum sealed, all of its moisture is locked in and it stays tender and succulent. Proponents also claim that there are health benefits, since nutrients do not dissipate as they would with most traditional cooking techniques.

    Sous vide cooking is particularly suited to meat, especially tougher cuts. There is nothing like biting into a short rib that is fall-off-the-bone tender and medium-rare at the same time. Because meat is cooked over a relatively long period, the collagen has a chance to break down, which results in an incredibly-silky texture.

    Vegetables also benefit from sous vide cooking, especially root veggies like potatoes and beets. I like to toss them with a little salt and duck fat and let the water work its magic. One great thing about cooking vegetables sous vide is that you avoid the “granny” effect. The “granny” effect is what happens when you throw something like broccoli into a simmering stockpot and promptly forget about it. When you do remember and swoop in to rescue the broccoli, you discover it’s flaccid and tasteless.

    Because you’re cooking food at the temperature it’s meant to be served, there is very little risk of mutilating it beyond recognition.

    Even extremely skilled and experienced cooks can’t cook a steak like anyone can sous vide. Steaks are cooked at fairly high temperatures, right? Using my preference as an example, the trick is to get the insides to the barely the rare side of medium rare without overcooking the stuff nearer the outside. Even skilled cooks can sometimes muck it up – FSM knows I have prepared steak less than perfectly one more than once. The perfect internal temperature for steak, for me, is 129°F. With sous vide, the water is … wait for it … 129°F It’s 129°F throughout the cooking process. The meat never reaches the temperature where the proteins denature, which forces the juices out. It never reaches the temperature where the meat gets tough, stringy. When it’s done, it’s 129°F throughout. Makes for the juiciest steak – or chicken, or pork, or lamb, or … – you’ll ever have. And once it’s done, it doesn’t much matter how long you leave it in there (with a few important limitations) which is why restaurants love the fuck out of the method. Throw the steaks in the sous vide at noon, pull them out as needed throughout service. With meats there is one what’s the word… not drawback .. thing. The Maillard reaction, which gives charred meat most of it’s fabulous flavor, only occurs at higher temps – 170°F as I recall but it’s not important. So it has to be finished, either in a HOT pan, over a flame, or, in my usual case, a motherfucking blowtorch.

  354. VCarlson said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:46

    and they chose the environmental movement because the UN.

    And the hippies, because, as we are repeatedly told, they were getting All The Seks.

  355. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:56

    I was thinking about trying sous vide for my new year’s day pork loin roast* but Imma roast it the way I always do which leads to the most awesomest gravy EVAH! That’s one drawback of the method, to be sure. But then, roasts aren’t really prime targets for sous vide. Steaks, chops, chix tits, and the like plus some veggies are what it’s best at.

    *Germans, or anyone who grew up in a German town as I did, knows that pork and Sauerkraut is mandatory on NYD. It brings good luck for the new year. Besides, homemade Sauerkraut is thing of wondrous joy. I braise it, Alsatian style. OM NOM NOM

  356. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 29, 2013 at 1:58

    “Aw, man, I sure an enraged at that ad with Onesie Pajama Boy.”

    Said not one conservative, ever, while they all were inwardly seething with rage.

  357. El Manquécito said,

    December 29, 2013 at 2:12

    I had forgotten short ribs; fantastic! Also great is duck, overnight @150f then dusted and deep fried with Chinese spices.
    Pup’s right roasting is the way to get gravy. The juices from sous vide coagulate in weird ways.

  358. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS and POOP also too said,

    December 29, 2013 at 2:43

    Hmmm, had a hankering lately for confit duck. The machine will make it easy! Teh Ho is sooo lucky.

  359. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 29, 2013 at 3:24

    Somehow I think this pony may find a home here.

  360. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 29, 2013 at 3:38

    Travelled over five blocks down the street to purchase lamb saag wrapped in roti.

    The adventurousness was worth it.

  361. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 4:09

    Did the sear-last method with my slow-cooked roast: Take it out when it’s ready, set the oven to 500F, then place the roast in for 6 to 10 minutes, and it comes out seared on the surface, yet medium-rare inside. I highly recommend it.

  362. Smut Clyde said,

    December 29, 2013 at 4:11

    Somehow I think this pony may find a home here.
    The pose leads me to infer that the pony is squatting to pee. I was not previously aware that they did that.

  363. Smut Clyde said,

    December 29, 2013 at 4:13

    The perfect internal temperature for steak, for me, is 129°F.
    I tried explaining to friends in Estonia that a temperature higher than that would spoil the meat, but they laughed and took me into the sauna anyway.

  364. Major Kong said,

    December 29, 2013 at 4:41

    The perfect internal temperature for steak, for me, is 129°F.

    I was in France, having lunch with one of my coworkers, who was a “well done” kind of guy.

    I ordered my steak “saignant” (bloody).

    He took one look at it and said “I think there’s still a chance the paramedics could revive it if they get here quickly”.

  365. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 29, 2013 at 7:02

    The fact is, now these faggy libs are talking about boiling in bags is better than bbq and say its sceince, well, you know nothing about that.

    Also, thanks to the Duck Emperor, you are all gay because America rules, you are discredited hereforth because the PC police cants tell us what to say no matter what you say

  366. Fenwick said,

    December 29, 2013 at 9:39

    And the hippies, because, as we are repeatedly told, they were getting All The Seks.

    And we were! And the hippies, because, as we are repeatedly told, they were getting All The Seks.

  367. Fenwick said,

    December 29, 2013 at 9:40

    Just wanted to make the point extra, extra clear. Mos def NOT the result of inept keyboarding.

  368. Fenwick said,

    December 29, 2013 at 9:48

    Also, the Fake Garys in this thread have been doing stellar work! Tip-o-the-hat, friends!

  369. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 14:15

    In 2013, the face of progressivism became Pajama Boy, the supercilious, semi-smirking, hot-chocolate-sipping faux-adult who embodies progressives’ belief that life should be all politics, all the time — come on, everybody, spend your holidays talking about health care. He is who progressives are.

    Q: Which progressive wrote this paragraph?

    Follow up Q: How did we all hallucinate this conservatives’ screed to apparently become real at this point in time?

    TinyUrl link to see if you guessed right or not:

    http://tinyurl.com/n4jhpj9

  370. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:07

    Teh Ho is sooo lucky.

    gads, you have nooooooo idea how much i want to be teh ho…

  371. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:12

    George Will was laughing at the Onesie Boy ad. That is not rage. That is laughter.

    he also makes me laff…’onesie boy’ not will…what’s yer point? the ad certainly did it’s job (which was to spark aca conversations), didn’t it?

    i can’t help but wonder how codpiece boy would have gone over instead?

    also, and this is painful for me to admit, you are probably right about da…

  372. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:16

    Somehow I think this pony may find a home here.

    one of the wondrous things in my life is having a friend who owns a business where one can get all manner of things printed on shirts* and/or whatnot…i have some pretty kick-ass one of a kind’s of hubbkf’s work, btw…and that pony on a shirt or can cooler just may be the son’s next gift…

    *so when i say i might put something on a shirt, i really just might! except most the time i don’t because a)i’m cheap 2)no closet space iii)general laziness…

  373. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:20

    He is “an insufferable man-child,” notes Cooke’s editor, Rich Lowry. A wide range of conservatives likewise reacted to the single image with disgust and anger and a surprising capacity to form judgements about a person based solely on a single image.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/12/obama-trolls-gay-panic-in-us-russia.html

  374. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:33

    He is “an insufferable man-child,”

    in·suf·fer·a·ble
    in?s?f(?)r?b?l/
    adjective
    adjective: insufferable

    1.
    too extreme to bear; intolerable.
    “the heat would be insufferable by July”

    But Lowry is seeing startbursts from Pajama Boy, he’s not angry in the least.

    Heh.

  375. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:43

    Liberals are rallying ’round the young OFA volunteer who posed for that ad now, because he’s the focus of Internet anger. Might a more sympathetic ad—I dunno, a teacher with one arm who has been denied coverage and gazes at the camera—gotten less ridicule? Sure. But would as many people have seen it? The anger at this young guy in pajamas brings to mind the anger at Lena Dunham over her “first time” Web ad. Liberals know exactly what will stimulate the survival/killing instincts of the right. Their base responds in kind.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2013/12/20/steve_stockman_compares_his_opponent_to_obamacare_pajama_boy_because_the.html

  376. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:44

    possibly because we’ve talked and talked about the aca? and the point of cerb’s post wasn’t the aca but the wingnut weirdness that surrounds any ‘lefty’ advertising?

    it certainly worked in our family…at family christmas, we did talk health care…with both my brother and bil (who both have medical conditions which would cause insurance companies to say ‘hell no, we will not give you insurance!) still staunchly against it because obama and moochelle, the nerve of those people!

  377. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:51

    Thanks for the backup bbkf.

  378. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 17:57

    no prob…

  379. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 18:09

    or, here’s a thought…perhaps if you would QUIT with the stupid and immature little slapfest you two have going, he would do just that…

  380. El Manquécito said,

    December 29, 2013 at 18:49

    There’s no such thing as peak trollz.

  381. Major Kong said,

    December 29, 2013 at 18:55

    This site is so tough even the trolls have trolls.

  382. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 19:02

    i wish chuck trollis would stop by…

  383. bbkf said,

    December 29, 2013 at 19:04

    There’s no such thing as peak trollz.

    i’m going to work on a trollnutz mock-up…fun and profit for everyone!

  384. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 29, 2013 at 19:50

    Update on the Great Foreskin Holocaust.

  385. Smut Clyde said,

    December 29, 2013 at 22:05

    I see what you do there, Mr Pupienus.

  386. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 29, 2013 at 22:44

    Happy New Year, everybody!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/the_dark_avenger/11631376715/

  387. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 29, 2013 at 22:51

    Sadly, it’s always the great foreskins that go first.

  388. Thread Bear said,

    December 30, 2013 at 0:02

    I gave an idea I had to a cartoonist and she turned it into a cartoon.

    http://doinmytoons.blogspot.com/2013/12/middle-class.html

  389. bbkf said,

    December 30, 2013 at 2:29

    I gave an idea I had to a cartoonist and she turned it into a cartoon.

    how neat is that?!

  390. Major Kong said,

    December 30, 2013 at 3:16

    I made duck lasagna today. I only make about once a year because it’s so labor intensive but it’s worth it.

  391. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 3:23

    Thinking about NYE menu. For some reason I’ve got a fishy urge.

    Lox on pumpernickel with sliced red onion, capers, schmear.
    Oyster bisque.

    That should kill the Diebolt-Vallois Blanc de Blancs Brut.

    Timbales of sole and scallop with chervil and chive beurre blanc, on a bed of braised leeks, and topped with caviar. Domaine Grands Bois Cotes du Rhone Viognier

    Gotta have some meat, maybe grilled quail? Ooooh, I know – Babette’s Cailles en Sarcophage! I think I have a good claret or two to pair with.

    Cheese and fruit plate. Sauternes or maybe a well aged Auslesen or, if I’m really feeling splurgy, a Beerenauslesen.

    Commenst, questions, bitches, gripes?

  392. El Manquécito said,

    December 30, 2013 at 3:49

    That’s a magnificent way to have quail; lots o’work too, also. Might have a time window conflict w/the fish unless you have good sous staff.

    I’m going to a bash I’ve been to a few times before where all bring wild killed food. Could be time to do something with the diamondback I have in the freezer.

  393. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 3:53

    I shall assume the duck was the meat component of the dish as opposed to lasagna noodles made with duck.

  394. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:16

    Teh Ho just reminded me that we have tickets to Portland Symphony NYE extravaganza with Pink Martini. The meal will have to happen otherwhen.

  395. Major Kong said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:38

    shall assume the duck was the meat component of the dish as opposed to lasagna noodles made with duck.

    You make a bolognese sauce, then braise the duck in the sauce and then shred the duck meat and add it to the sauce.

    It’s a lot of work.

  396. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:47

    Now that I thunk bout it, duck lasagna noodles is intriguing. Not even Myrhvold has done that I bet.

  397. El Manquécito said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:54

    I’ve put oysters in pasta dough but never bird.

  398. bbkf said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:56

    i made a ham with a champagne-mustard glaze and a frittata…

  399. El Manquécito said,

    December 30, 2013 at 4:57

    Crispy duck skin chopped fine might be great in pasta.

  400. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 5:12

    NOOOOOOOO! Crispy duck skin MUST be eaten as crispy duck skin. All else is TRAVESTY.

  401. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 5:13

    One of the greatest threats to a marriage is someone HOGGING THE DUCK CRACKLINGS.

  402. El Manquécito said,

    December 30, 2013 at 5:25

    The old Peking Duck House downstairs on Mott St was my favorite date place back in the day. I have worshipped the crispy skin.

  403. Reverand Dr. Liggett Myers, Pastor of the Church of God's Miracles; Doctor ob Theology, ORU said,

    December 30, 2013 at 6:51

    We are on the threshold of the End Times. The Rapture will be on March 13th 2014. I know this with absolute certainty because of three reasons:
    Calendrical computations from the numbers in Revelations. Another reason is understanding that the Omens in Revalations have already begun! And the most important reason is that an Angel of the Lord revealed the Rapture to me in a holy dream.

    I have learned that this blog has avowed atheistis commenting regularly, as well as self-admitted homosexuals, and the only poster is a tranvestite. Without exception all the commenters on this blog mock Christians and Christianity.

    So I’m sending you this warning of the Day of Rapture. God loves you and there is still time to REPENT and be SAVED. Turn from sin into righteousness. Pray for the Lord’s forgiveness. (Also, if you have not yet been baptised, do that pronto! Baptism is like a passport to Heaven.)

    The hardest souls to save are those hardened against the Lord God, yet Jesus Christ our Savior will redeem you, even though you be the worst of sinners.

    There is STILL TIME for you to go Heaven, but the clock is ticking fast and the Rapture is coming in two moths, on March 13th!

    Repent NOW and ….

    Praise the Lord !!!!

    – Rev. Dr. Liggett Myers, Postor of the Church of God’s Miracles

  404. Fenwick said,

    December 30, 2013 at 7:08

    Wow. I finally ketchup the thread only find the Rapture’s date revealed. It’s going to happen in “two moths”. If there is gonna be an Insect Alpocalypse*, I would have expected a Plague of Locusts. But “two moths”? Weird sorta End Times, imo.

    * also band name

  405. Reverand Dr. Liggett Myers, Pastor of the Church of God's Miracles; Doctor ob Theology, ORU said, said,

    December 30, 2013 at 7:34

    That is March 13th 2014 at 3:13 PM IST.

    Repent NOW and ….

    Praise the Lord !!!!

  406. CRA said,

    December 30, 2013 at 7:42

    NOW? There seems to be plenty “ob” time left. It’s not even New Years Eve yet. Wouldja mind not bustin’ my balls just yet, “Rev.” ?!

  407. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 30, 2013 at 7:50

    NOW? There seems to be plenty “ob” time left. It’s not even New Years Eve yet.

    Pencilling in 3/12/14…
    .

  408. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 30, 2013 at 7:52

    Baptism is like a passport to Heaven

    Nothing to declare.
    .

  409. Smut Clyde said,

    December 30, 2013 at 8:38

    an Insect Alpocalypse

    If there is dogfood involved then DO NOT WANT.

  410. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 30, 2013 at 8:59

    Why can’t people let the Apocalypse be a SURPRISE?

  411. Whale Chowder said,

    December 30, 2013 at 9:25

    Without exception all the commenters on this blog mock Christians and Christianity.

    Oh I don’t know. Some of the mocking is pretty exceptional.

  412. Whale Chowder said,

    December 30, 2013 at 9:45

    I know this with absolute certainty because of three reasons:
    Calendrical computations from the numbers in Revelations. Another reason is understanding that the Omens in Revalations have already begun! And the most important reason is that an Angel of the Lord revealed the Rapture to me in a holy dream.

    Science, bitchez.

  413. boconn13 said,

    December 30, 2013 at 11:58

    Since I’m on the other side of the International Date Line, I’m a bit confused about when the Rapture will actually begin.

  414. Séraphin Lampion said,

    December 30, 2013 at 12:15

    Wouldn’t Dec 11th, 2014 at 9:10 AM GMT make more sense and impress more? 9-10-11-12-13-14 is easier to comprehend.

  415. Bryant & May, Detectives said,

    December 30, 2013 at 12:20

    We are skeptical as to the existence of this “Dr Liggett & Myers” character.

  416. Willy said,

    December 30, 2013 at 13:48

    Doctor ob Theology, ORU

    ORU = Oral-Rectal Union
    I think he’s a doctor of centpedism

  417. Major Kong said,

    December 30, 2013 at 13:51

    The Rapture will be on March 13th 2014

    I have but one question for the good reverend.

    If you’re certain that the world will end on March 13th 2014, would you be willing to sign a contract transferring ownership of all your worldly assets to me on March 14th 2014?

  418. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 30, 2013 at 15:56

    Sadly, there was a time I would have pointed and laughed at a supposed minister who couldn’t spell the word “reverend” correctly, but in these post-literate times, that’s no proof of anything.

  419. CRA said,

    December 30, 2013 at 16:02

    Calendrical computations from the numbers in Revelations.

    Oh yeah? Mystic Crystal Revelations, and the Mind’s True Liberation — Aquarius … Aquarius!

  420. Austin Loomis said,

    December 30, 2013 at 16:20

    Whale Chowder skrev:

    I know this with absolute certainty because of three reasons:
    Calendrical computations from the numbers in Revelations. Another reason is understanding that the Omens in Revalations have already begun! And the most important reason is that an Angel of the Lord revealed the Rapture to me in a holy dream.

    Science, bitchez.

    “Great God, man, I confirmed my astrological findings with both geomancy and the Holy Qabala. How can you doubt the findings of three precise sciences?” — Frater Siderius to an Hermetic colleague, Time of Thin Blood

  421. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 30, 2013 at 17:11

    And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind, let us rejoice, and let us sing and dance and ring in the new. Hail Atlantis!

  422. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 30, 2013 at 17:30

    Let me guess, postor [sic] once the rapture doesn’t happen… again… You’ll go back to your books or look at a different translation from the bible, or have another vision in a dream on a night when you go to sleep right after a big meal, and then there will be a brand new end of the world just around the corner. March 13 2014 is a dud. You’re going to have to do a lot better than that. It is a date with no resonance. It doesn’t grab the imagination.

    You need one that the suckers can’t ignore. Pick a year early in the 2030s and claim that on Easter, Jesus is coming back 2000 years after he was allegedly crucified. You’ll have the suckers lining up for blocks. There’s still even time to brand the whole prediction with your name and face so that the big names in TV evangelism will have to play catch up as the date approaches. You can register the websites, and write a book of prophecy and everything. You’ve got 20 years to fleece the flock if you listen to me.

  423. bbkf said,

    December 30, 2013 at 18:09

    liggett meyers you say? interesting, eh?

  424. Shakezula said,

    December 30, 2013 at 18:25

    WAY DOOOOOOOOOOOWN,
    BELOW THE OCEAN
    WEEEEEEERE I WANNA BE
    (SHE MAY BE)…

    Fucking earworm spreading fuckers…

    Also, below the ocean would be … hot. And dry. And possibly Australia if you go far enough. Fucking hippies.

  425. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 30, 2013 at 19:03

    Though Gods they stepped into the hall of mirrors
    And as the elders discovered the reflections of themselves
    Even the greatest kings find their face in the looking glass
    Even the greatest kings find their face in the looking glass

  426. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 19:17

    Hey there brother, who you jivin with that cosmik debris ?

  427. CRA said,

    December 30, 2013 at 19:46

    I went to Applebee’s and the girl at the bar wouldna sell me a bottle of wine. Just a series of glasses. WTF? I played along but mentioned a scenario in which several people drink the wine together. I have seen it happen.

  428. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 30, 2013 at 19:52

    Baboon Brooks? Who gives a fig about him?

  429. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 20:00

    Bobo teaching a humility course. The mind, it boggles.

  430. Major Kong said,

    December 30, 2013 at 20:02

    Conservatives really shouldn’t try to do humor. It either comes off as lame or creepy.

  431. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 30, 2013 at 20:04

    It either comes off as lame or creepy.

    Quite.

  432. Major Kong said,

    December 30, 2013 at 20:57

    Wow, you’re still flogging that particular horse Dennis?

    I never said it was good messaging, just that the collective freakout on the right was so massively out of proportion it boggles the mind.

    Plus I still say he looks like Leonard on The Big Bang Theory.

  433. Séraphin Lampion said,

    December 30, 2013 at 21:06

    Townhall humor is definitely weird. Obama= on vacation all the time. Obama= absurd executive orders. Ha! Ha!

  434. The Grand Wazoo said,

    December 30, 2013 at 21:25

    Eat my dust.

  435. CRA said,

    December 30, 2013 at 21:29

    Conservative “humor,” with few exceptions, relies on the forms of humorous discourse as cover for misbehavior. Hate gays, or blacks, or liberals? Make a “joke” about them. Even the form can be dispensed with: just say something, and call it funny. Your buddies will go along. This is the sense in which Rush Limbaugh (for ex.) is a humorist. Bullies learn these tricks early. “What’s the matter — where’s your sense of humor?” Meanwhile the dick’s cronies are yukking it up.

  436. Bryant & May, Detectives said,

    December 30, 2013 at 21:47

    Even the greatest kings find their face in the looking glass

    Leave Kraftwerk out of it.

  437. VCarlson said,

    December 30, 2013 at 21:56

    Plus I still say he looks like Leonard on The Big Bang Theory.

    That was my first thought when I saw the picture.

  438. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:01

    Weird, thread took a turn for the on-topic.

    Personally, I have no idea whether Pajama Boy is a good ad or not but what I do know is that the vast majority of critics have even less idea than I do. The goal of this series of ads is to reach that “young invincibles” demo and those folks are completely alien to me. The noise that they call music – their refusal to get offa mah lawn – I don’t even know what Snapchat is.

    I mean that a bunch of conservative white guys have weighed in on how effective the image is for reaching twenty-somethings – folks that could be their grandkids or great-grandkids – yeah that says a whole fucking lot. Kids these days may be a foreign culture to me, but I am sure as fuck that they don’t go consulting George fucking Will to find out what’s “cool” or wev phrase it is that young folks use to mean “cool”.

    But by all means – do go on “mocking” Pajama Boy. If there’s one thing about the yoots that we do know for certain, it is that they never ever act out in opposition of the wishes of older generations.

  439. bbkf said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:08

    Why, because the guy who plays him is gay?

    WTF?

    wtf, indeed! where do you come up with these things? and, the character who plays leonard is not gay…the actor that plays sheldon is gay…holy crap, i’ve only seen a handful of episodes and even i know that…

  440. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:09

    But he is sane.

  441. bbkf said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:20

    Old white guy. No sense of humor. Doesn’t laugh at the idea that he looks like Leonard.

    You guys are amazing.

    but he does cop to using the same marketing strategy as the pajama boy ad…and then says twice that he would like a crack at coming up with a campaign…

  442. St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:37

    Well, I was just trying to address the topic but here’s a thing:
    That we do know.

    It is amazing how much our little resident troll “knows”. It’s amazing in that it changes from post to post. Specifically in regards to how much these young folks despise Obamacare more than even their parents’ sense of fashion, there’s this: Younger Americans Are Most Positive Toward the Healthcare Law.

  443. St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:50

    And since Pajama Boy’s hazing/coming out party, it’s been an interesting week for the Christmas Onesie.

  444. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 30, 2013 at 22:53

    Ia! Ia! Kudos Cerb – just noticed the mouseover text.

  445. Pupienus said,

    December 30, 2013 at 23:26

    Why, because the guy who plays him is gay?

    Thy name is projection.

  446. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 30, 2013 at 23:30

    If Hollywood movies turn you liberal then it’s all over anyway.

  447. Fenwick said,

    December 30, 2013 at 23:34

    A note of thanx to the diligent Border Patrol that keeps the Dennis sludge off my screen, so I don’t have to read it.

    Plus it’s a fun game to extrapolate what his rant is about from just the Sadly replies!

  448. Fenwick said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:01

    Well thanx fer that, Dennis. I also noted it was decent of you suspend commenting after Manaela died.

    What I don’t understand is your NEED to do this. It’s not like you’re going to win anyone over. So it seems needlessly provocative. Do you do this on any other site? How did Sadlyville earn your ire?

    Wait. I’m sorry for posing questions; they will only encourage a response. You must realize you’re not welcome here, Dennis. Please go away.

  449. kg said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:32

    Sammich 4 dinner:
    “Mr. G”
    House Specialty! Sharp imported provolone, hot sopresatta, Prosciutto di Parma, Volpi genoa salami, truffle mustard balsamic vinaigrette, hot oil, marinated roman-style artichokes, fresh basil, lettuce w/ red wine vinegar & oregano … $8.25

  450. Pupienus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:38

    I’d eat that.

  451. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:38

    1, 23, and 36. Went with a weakling who wanted everything mild. Fortunately the chef screwed up and the duck had heat. Awfully nice.

  452. Pupienus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:39

    Wait! Good sammiches need good bread. What was the bread?

  453. Pupienus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:42

    Having late lunch today. Aged tillamook sharp cheddar on artisan sourdough grilled cheese. Homemade creamy tomato basil bisque. And some Fritos just because.

  454. Some guy said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:50

    What a coincidence! The RWNJ bullies are even now giving the same bullying to Pajama Boy that they gave to the previous ad female model!

    Remember how she was supposedly an “illegal immigrant”?

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/obamacare-model-health-care-website-felt-bullied-critics-article-1.1515206

  455. Major Kong said,

    December 31, 2013 at 0:53

    The RWNJ bullies are even now giving the same bullying to Pajama Boy that they gave to the previous ad female model!

    It’s what they do.

  456. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 31, 2013 at 1:04

    Fast food chorizo burrito with chips and cheese. And a root beer. And someone’s leftover chocolates from Xmas.

  457. Whale Chowder said,

    December 31, 2013 at 1:08

    Is it a party if only the host shows up?

  458. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 31, 2013 at 1:39

    The fact is, i find it hilarious that a ship trying to proove there is global warming is frozen in ice. More proof that facts, logic and experience count for nothing for liberals, they just beleive in things like gays are superior, blacks are smart, and muslims are our friends.

  459. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 31, 2013 at 1:40

    It’s a good burrito. The guac is hand mashed daily (though not as garlicky as I like) and the sausage flame grilled to order. The salsas are all made in house as well. Maybe “fast food” is a poor characterization.

  460. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:00

    Yer a fucking idiot, Pennis. The projection part is you thinking other people assume PJguy is gay. Now I’ve never seen the show either but my first reaction to hearing someone say PJguy reminds them of someone frkom a a show “they probably look alike.” YOU, you droning bag of smegma, you projected that someone would make it about being gay.

  461. kg said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:07

    Italian bread. Probably D’Amatos or Gonella (bakeries that supply most Chicago sub shops). The sammie shop is called JP Graziano btw.

    http://www.jpgraziano.com

  462. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:40

    My apologies to bags of smegma.

  463. Fenwick said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:46

    He was being a bully and an asshole.

    He can be like that sometimes. I’ve certainly seen that … and I’ve experienced it. I advocate that progressives leave the Democratic Party and refuse to vote for them, instead voting for an Independent or the candidate of a non-Republican party … or writing-in a person you admire, who is eligible for the office. He went ballistic and got sorta nasty. Sarcasm can be toxic.

    But this place would be impoverished without Pup. He’s clever and witty and funny. He has a wide range of interests–cooking and fine cuisine; fashion (I remember an ancient impassioned argument about the proper width for tuxedo lapels!); motorcycles and much, much more. Plus, his take-no-prisoners style, and his links, have had an effect on my view of Christianity. He’s widely travelled and well-read. He links to intriguing and funny web locations. (When I was a noob, I thougt Pup was probably a lawyer because of his aggressiveness, tenacity, and skill in argumentation.)

    Anyway, there is so much more to Pup than politics. I think that could be said for most of the commenters on this site.

    Politics 24/7 is not healthy for anyone, Dennis. I recommend taking up an absorbing hobby. (If trolling IS your hobby, then I pity a life so empty.)

  464. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:55

    Aw shucks, he said coyly.

  465. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 2:58

    Is it a party if only the host shows up?

    Depends. Is there booze? If so then yes, its a helluva party – no need to share!

  466. Dennis said,

    December 31, 2013 at 3:02

    Trolling is just my hobby. My passion is copraphilia.

  467. Just Ice Is Served said,

    December 31, 2013 at 3:29

    Just what’s on the menu.

  468. Just Ice Is Served said,

    December 31, 2013 at 3:39

    Do you want ice with that?

  469. Thread Bear said,

    December 31, 2013 at 6:27

    My antediluvian baby,
    gotta tell me where she gone
    I wanna see you some day
    Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up

  470. Thread Bear said,

    December 31, 2013 at 7:59

    I should be rumblin’ down the skyway on my cosmic wheels
    Instead i’m stumblin’ down the highway in my boots of steel

  471. Suezboo said,

    December 31, 2013 at 13:48

    Oh, if this is Pup Appreciation Week, sign me up. All that stuff Fenwick said, absolutely.

  472. Suezboo said,

    December 31, 2013 at 13:51

    Also too, my true appreciation to all the Sadlynauts who continue to hang in there and post, however infrequently, fine, funny and clever comments and links in the midst of the Dennis fiasco/apocalypse. Thanks, you lovely people.

  473. Smut Clyde said,

    December 31, 2013 at 14:04

    Artist’s impression of Pup.

  474. Just sayin' said,

    December 31, 2013 at 16:26

    As soon as you speak openly about your copraphilia….

  475. Mitt Romney said,

    December 31, 2013 at 17:22

    Remember, my friends, that corporations are people too. Happy New Year to all of you makers from Ann and Rafalca and I.

  476. Séraphin Lampion said,

    December 31, 2013 at 17:40

    Digby gets to something that I had thought about regarding PJ Boy.
    Antisemitism

  477. CRA said,

    December 31, 2013 at 18:29

    It’s copro-, people. Get your shit together.

  478. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 31, 2013 at 18:40

    Yes, copra is dried coconut meat.

  479. CRA said,

    December 31, 2013 at 18:53

    A good sequel to the pajama boy ad would be one in which he stands up to reveal that he’s quite well-hung. Same smile. Then the wingnuts could start a photoshop conspiracy theory and Jonah could reprise his “whiff of emasculation” bit.

  480. bbkf said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:28

    getting mail from a dead person is creepy…

  481. Major Kong said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:35

    copra is dried coconut meat

    At the copra…..copracabana…..

  482. St. Pupienus Maximus of PENIS said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:41

    Artist’s impression of Pup.

    Remarkably lifelike it is too!

    Say Smutty – howzabout you send me the wining lottery numbers from 2014?

  483. Suezboo said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:41

    Aw, nooooo. Helicopters and planes close overhead mean that the mountain behind us is ablaze. Wildfire season is here, just in time for 2014. Damnation – hope we don’t have to evacuate.
    Happy New Year to Cerb and all y’all. I hope 2014 is even better than 2013 and you stay safe and peaceful and healthy.

  484. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:43

    All is copracetic here.

  485. bbkf said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:52

    Aw, nooooo. Helicopters and planes close overhead mean that the mountain behind us is ablaze. Wildfire season is here, just in time for 2014. Damnation – hope we don’t have to evacuate.

    ooooh…hope you don’t have to evacuate either…much peace and happiness to you, suez!

  486. bbkf said,

    December 31, 2013 at 19:53

    Say Smutty – howzabout you send me the wining lottery numbers from 2014?

    i’ve also been awaiting the wonders of 2014 the upsidedowners can regale us with…

  487. bbkf said,

    December 31, 2013 at 20:17

    okay, so i’m waiting on a donor and out of the office, so to kill time i went to the nro comments…oh jeeze…as usual, the epitome of class:

    haha, pajama boy looks gay!
    haha, pajama boy looks like he wants you to poop in his mouth!
    hey jfk are you glad you took a bullet for this?
    if he knew this would be the face of the democrat party 50 years later he would have blown his own brains out
    pj boy will gladly give you a free prostate exam!
    pj boy looks like he gets PERIODS!

    there’s also a string of comments about using him and all the other pj boys like him as gunfire bait should we go to war again and that if pj boy had been in wwii, the germans would have ran from him because they would be afraid of aids…

    i always thought nro was just a tish above the rest of the wingnuts, but i guess not…

  488. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 31, 2013 at 20:35

    Wildfire season is here

    We have it during our summers here as well, but there have been red flag warnings this winter because of the winds and unprecedented low humidity levels for this time of year. You have to be living in the foothills or mountains to be affected by fire in this part of the San Joaquin Valley, most of the fires happen in the foothills or higher elevations of the Sierra Nevada.

  489. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 31, 2013 at 20:36

    go out and seek hateful comments?

    NRO.com allows hateful comments on their posts?

    How long has this been going on?

  490. st bbkf said,

    December 31, 2013 at 20:50

    funny, i don’t feel enraged…thanks for the heads up, dennis…also, the comments over there aren’t what i would consider ‘hateful’…they’re just lame…well, except for the jfk ones…those are just wrong…as well as the let’s use them for target fodder for our enemies…from the group that espouses the sanctity of life…as you would say:

    conservatism is a mental disorder
    evil

  491. Austin Loomis said,

    December 31, 2013 at 21:36

    While completely naked, Pennis spouted the following:

    bbkf, why are you blind to the hateful comments printed here

    I assume it’s for much the same reason as most people are blind to Obama’s repeated public statements of his intent to blow up the Moon and destroy the farm belt with a rain of green cheese meteors.

    In his 1816 satire Headlong Hall, Thomas Love Peacock wrote:

    MR. PANSCOPE. I am not obliged, Sir, as Dr Johnson remarked on a similar occasion, to furnish you with an understanding.
    MR. ESCOT. I fear, Sir, you would have some difficulty in furnishing me with such an article from your own stock.
    MR. PANSCOPE. ‘Sdeath, Sir, do you question my understanding?
    MR. ESCOT. I only question, Sir, where I expect a reply, which from what manifestly has no existence, I am not visionary enough to anticipate.

    This has been an homiletic analogy. The late God knows I’m doing all I can.

  492. Austin Loomis said,

    December 31, 2013 at 21:40

    Also too, Séraphin Lampion skrev:

    Digby gets to something that I had thought about regarding PJ Boy.

    I read it, and the Michaelson post, and I hate to say it, but digby’s own post knocks it out of the park in its penultimate paragraph:

    Conservative activist Ali Akbar groused on twitter yesterday that people really don’t like conservatives, and are “taught to hate them.” Given the politics and tactics of the American Right that statement is a little rich. But insofar as it has a kernel of truth, it’s this: starting in the late 1940s the world realized that setting up a culture war between Christian nativist conservative gun-loving Anglo-Saxon child-bride-marrying testosterone factories on one side, and minorities, independent women, and cosmopolitan, liberal secular “outsiders” on the other might not be such a good idea. We’ve seen that movie before, and our reaction was to say “never again.”

    So the people making the remake (many of whom were hired by our Reality Studio, after their own studio went under, to continue the shared fight against the International Communist Conspiracy) had to be very careful not to be obvious about it, lest they kill the remake’s chances at the box office.

  493. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 31, 2013 at 23:09

    I hope everyone has a safe and festive New Year’s eve, and that the world in 2014 is filled with a little more intelligence, humor, and compassion than has been in evidence lately.

  494. CRA said,

    January 1, 2014 at 5:05

    I hope (for the New Year) everyone will imagine Pajama Boy brandishing a big, jewy, coy, and yet somehow degenerate & callow COCK & he’s saying, “Oh Jonah Goldberg? That’s not the scent of emasculation you’re sniffing, it’s my fuckin’ ball-sweat, Holmes.”

  495. Major Kong said,

    January 1, 2014 at 5:37

    Thanks for the visual CRA.

    Sigh. It’s going to take a lot of drinking to get that image out of my head.

  496. kg said,

    January 1, 2014 at 5:53

    eh, just go with it.

  497. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 1, 2014 at 6:00

    The fact is, liberals love fagets and USA rules.

  498. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 1, 2014 at 6:01

    The fact is, 500.

  499. CRA said,

    January 1, 2014 at 6:45

    You poor bastard. Well merry New Years to you anyway.

  500. Thread Bear said,

    January 1, 2014 at 6:47

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIB2-G4jQIw

  501. CRA said,

    January 1, 2014 at 6:53

    On a decidedly different note, my wife just showed me this movie, courtesy of NetFlix: The Swinger

    I was like (and I did say it), “OMG, if I wasn’t so drunk I’d be hard as a rock right now,” because it seems that I like Ann-Margret, and soft porn, or something.

    The Ric Colby character should have died painfully many times over. (Spoiler, he doesn’t even once.) Fuck, him and whoever wrote the screenplay. Good god.

  502. El Manquécito said,

    January 1, 2014 at 7:31

    Whew, home at 12:05, I’m getting really old. I took sesame noodles with yakitori rattlesnake and it was a hit. Were there bushels of wild oysters, spicy crabs and Hoppin’ John? Yes.

  503. bbkf said,

    January 1, 2014 at 7:41

    The fact is, liberals love fagets and USA rules.

    yes, we love fagets and the usa rules, because we love fagets…

    happy new year’s to y’all…possibly one of our dullest…home by 11:30* and watching a doors documentary on pbs…ewww, jim morrisson’s penis was found to be indecent!

    tomorrow is some fruit pastries and some ham, egg and cheese concoction for brunch and homemade mac and cheese** for later in the day…and baked apples…

    *came home to find maeve had totally trashed one of her new stuffed toys she got for christmas…the computer room looks like a blizzard hit…

    **pup…looking for a mac and cheese recipe for the restaurant that is super creamy and rich and would freeze well…i’ve tried the cheesecake factory’s but it doesn’t hold up to freezing…tomorrow is the old tried and true recipe that’s on the back of the creamette’s elbow macaroni box…

  504. Pupienus said,

    January 1, 2014 at 7:55

    bbkf I’ll get back to you in a dive bar (wearing tuxes) having NYE fun can’t do much ATM. Thomas Lauderdale was good. Gus van Sant was … Interesting. Beethovens 9 the wasn’t best ever but v v good. Great choruses v

  505. bbkf said,

    January 1, 2014 at 8:11

    sounds like a good time, pup…the daughter and i are trying to get hubbkf off to bed so we can finish our grey’s anatomy marathon…we are sooooo close to being finished with the series…it has been grueling and at times humiliating…

    meanwhile, maeve was so excited at experiencing her first new year’s eve that she ate another one of my lip glosses…bbkf’s lip gloss: 0, maeve 18…

  506. bbkf said,

    January 1, 2014 at 8:15

    also, i see while i was gone dennis has resorted to making fat jokes…nice, being as he calls anyone out who he thinks makes offensive, hateful remarks, but wevs, we all know he’s totally fucked up, even though it’s us who continually whine about how our parents fucked up our lives…

    p.s. also, too, dennis: no, i don’t trust and/or forgive da…in fact i wish he would just gtfo because every time he posts here, YOU show up…

  507. CRA said,

    January 1, 2014 at 12:34

    Great, now I have a hangover with insomnia.

    Jews say “holmes,” right? Cheech Marin does. A fine specimen. Runs Hollywood. Peddling mustache rides is just a nostalgic sideline, now that he’s grabbed the brass ring. Practically gives ‘em away (the rides). You can usually catch him down by his star on the boulevard. Look for the old jew in the folding chair.

  508. Chris said,

    January 1, 2014 at 12:47

    Conservative activist Ali Akbar groused on twitter yesterday that people really don’t like conservatives, and are “taught to hate them.”

    Conservatives taught me to hate them, so in that sense, true.

  509. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    January 1, 2014 at 15:04

    bbkf, Pennis Jeans will show up here regardless if I post or not. You’ll see for yourself that he will do so when I’m not here for the next week or so.

    On that note I have only one more thing to say to all the other Sadlys here:

    Happy New Year!

  510. Major Kong said,

    January 1, 2014 at 15:37

    Conservative activist Ali Akbar

    Does anyone else see the irony in a conservative activist named “Ali Akbar”?

  511. Some guy said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:05

    Perhaps instead of a nerd in pajamas, the ad had featured a president dressed up like a military aviator with genitalia outlined prominently, posed on an aircraft carrier with big banner behind him saying MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

    Maybe conservatives would have liked THAT!

  512. Some guy said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:14

    Conservative activist Ali Akbar groused on twitter yesterday that people really don’t like conservatives, and are “taught to hate them.”

    Well, I for one remain grateful to conservatives for income inequality, countless gun murders, the Iraq War, and the financial meltdown of 2008.

    I just fail to understand why they modestly refuse to take credit for these accomplishments.

  513. Austin Loomis said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:29

    Some guy, you won two internets in nine minutes. I think you have won the internet so thoroughly that the ultimateness of your victory is an immutable fact I am merely stating for the record. (It does not mean concession is what’s taking place here.)

  514. Austin Loomis said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:31

    Also too, happy new year, DA! Have fun being not here, and if Pennis can stay away from here in your absence, I’ll be mightily surprised.

  515. Provider_UNE said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:36

    new one

  516. Some guy said,

    January 1, 2014 at 16:55

    OK, Pennis, well maybe if the ad could feature Vice President Biden shooting somebody in the face?

    Would conservatives like THAT?

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