Dec
17

The Matriarchal Menace to Mammary Measurement




Posted at 13:26 by Cerberus


Don’t let the liberals take our precious freedoms!

Patrick Howley, Tucker Carlson’s Vanity Press:
Liberals want to stop men from checking out women

Like many women, I have tits.

Now having tits that I am proud of is something of a newer development, so I have only recently become aware of the Secret Powers that having a pair of knockers grants one. With one little wiggle, I apparently have the power to summon forth eldritch powers beyond space and time to ensorcell the minds of feeble-minded male-identified Libertarian douchebros and bend their otherwise totally manly and indepednent superpowers to my dark and evil will.

Which is why so many not at all insecure and emotionally stunted entitled fuckwits straight up need to claim public ownership of these dirty pillow and their associated Weapons of Mass Eroticism, lest I and other filthy females lay low their rock hard rigid ranks.

And all I can do is weep and beat my tender fun bags in lamentation and excoriation at what violence my bewitching breasts have wrought upon those once noble purveyors of all that is right and super-ultra-mega logical (because unlike me they have superior manbrains, the only thing capable of processing true objectivity).

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • If we can’t street harass and sexually harass women who are so entitled they think they can walk on our streets without being constantly reminded of their duties to us as public sex objects, then we will all be condemned to a dystopian Matriarchal future where all our freedoms have been stolen and men are forced to serve as slaves to our Gynocratic Overlords!

    Also, the fact that this is the most “oppressive” thing we can think of to whine about should totally be taken as proof that white wealthy cis-heterosexual men are the most oppressed people in the world instead of proof that we’re a pack of whiny assholes who can’t handle people other than us being anything other than property for us to buy and sell.

Oh it has been far too long since we last stepped into the bizarre psychosexual issues of entitled Libertarian dudebros slowly coming to task with the grim knowledge that those “women” creatures that haunted their pubescent nightmares are actual living breathing organisms walking around, doing things, without waiting patiently for approval from over-entitled dicks like them.

Which is not to say they haven’t deserved a good kicking for a long time. Lest you forget, I’m a member of more than one community that is literally overrun with these narcissistic fuckers. And as things like atheism, video game fandom, comic book fandom, and science fiction more and more turn out to have always had female members in the ranks, these fucks have become more and more vile in their attempts to “solve the girl problem” before “their medium” is “overrun”.

Most illustrative recent case, might be this one (TRIGGER WARNING) where the maker of a little free play game about what it feels like to live with depression who has been harassed on her home phone with people demanding she kill herself because she made the game while female.

Oh, but the best part is the post hoc justification wherein entitled and not at all self-obsessed wannabe martyrs claimed that the reason she was targeted was because no woman can understand depression because the only thing anyone can ever be depressed about is an inability to get laid (I mean, right?!? That is like the worstest thing to happen to anyone ever. Like one gajillion billion people die of blue balls every year) and clearly any woman can get infinite sex anytime she wants just by using the mind-control powers of her bouncing boobies.

But perhaps we’re unfairly stacking the decks against our entitled young prick today. Sure, the title might look damning, but maybe it is just a misleading intro into a sober analysis in how rigid gender norms and street harassment harm everyone and not a paranoid post hoc privilege flail about how people saying “hey, this shit sucks” is the first step in striking all men blind everywhere or some other made-up bullshit to justify feeling aggrieved about being called out on bad behavior.

Maybe…

In the progressive future, men will not be able to look at women’s bodies

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

Yes, if evil liberals and their vile plans of lightly calling out street harassment in a manner that has almost zero legal enforcement or political muscle succeed, then every man everywhere will be banned from looking at any woman’s body anywhere.

Because apparently “men have a right to access to women’s bodies” is one of those hidden rights in the bill of rights next to “conservatives have the right to never be criticized” and “black people aren’t allowed to be president even if future amendments pretend they can”.

And if it’s breached it’ll somehow mean the end of couples lovingly gazing onto each other’s forms in a consensual and sensual manner (okay, maybe for Libertarians seeing as how they’ll probably never be in that type of relationship for their entire life) because shut up, I can’t slap my underling’s ass anymore and that’s unfair!

Or something. I get the feeling that these guys are used to not filling in the holes*.

because that is a terrible thing to do — and science says so.

Oh well, in that case, I guess you’ll be shutting the fuck up and sucking it up Sally seeing as how that’s the way you demand the rest of us act every time one of your hideously broken psuedoscientific fantasy stories in the form of an unpublished academic “paper” is trotted out as “proof” that women are naturally homemakers and sex slaves.

Researchers have offered a definitive report into the science of the male “objectifying gaze” in the December 2013 volume of “Sex Roles: A Journal of Research” (Volume 69, Issue 11-12, pp 557-570).

Ooh, wingnuts quoting academic papers! Yay, excuse to nerd out totally justified.

All right, having looked over the paper quoted myself, it’s… not that fucking great.

See, there is this thing in most academic disciplines, especially ones dealing with minority experiences where everyone knows that a phenomenon exists but due to previous eras of bigotry or neglect there exists no real data or research on the subject noting that said phenomenon exists. So there ends up being a need for “place-filler” type articles that plug up these holes.

And well, some of these boring workman articles can be interesting works in their own rights expanding on the things we “know” and going deeper into the why. Some of them can be less exciting, but show a strength of research that categorically proves the thing that those disenfranchised already know in a way that can be used for great political impact (think the comprehensive studies showing that gay couples raise kids just as well as straight couples). And then there’s works like this one.

Sloppy, poorly thought out pieces that pull the freshman’s first paper tactic of circling around statements in order to draw out a small piece of work into a longer piece of work and which doesn’t actually add much into the conversation and may in ways harm the subject by focusing on narrow and less important aspects in the hopes that the novelty and “catchiness” will lead into a publication credit for a nervous hack.

Which is a shame, because it seems like there could have been a decent paper in here if someone had just helped in the experiment design, because the background research is phenomenal and on-point but starts to collapse when it comes to their “new” research on the subject.

Really it’s a fascinating- (And we’ll just cut off here and return when Cerberus is done nerding the fuck out about academic research methodology)

With a goddamn duck!

… Sorry, where am I? Oh right, back with the non-academic bullshit.

“Although objectification theory suggests that women frequently experience the objectifying gaze with many adverse consequences, there is scant research examining the nature and causes of the objectifying gaze for perceivers. The main purpose of this work was to examine the objectifying gaze toward women via eye tracking technology,” according to the abstract of “My Eyes Are Up Here: The Nature of the Objectifying Gaze Toward Women” by Sarah J. Gervais, Arianne M. Holland, and Michael D. Dodd.

“Consistent with our main hypothesis, we found that participants focused on women’s chests and waists more and faces less when they were appearance-focused (vs. personality-focused). Moreover, we found that this effect was particularly pronounced for women with high (vs. average and low) ideal body shapes in line with hypotheses,” according to the report.

Yeah, as you can see, the research cited is kinda meh. Just a “women who fit into cultural norms about ‘hotness’ deal with more objectification bullshit” paper, which kind of ignores already existing racial elements (the way minority women often get targeted more for public harassment because their bodies are seen as more inherently “sexual”), dangerously downplays the way non-normative bodies may receive less of a specific form of objectification, but are often viewed as more in need of public scrutiny and delusions of public ownership largely for failing to meet normative standards (in English, basically all the times that fat people are stopped by strangers on the street and told to start dieting or are told that they should be “grateful” for catcalls because of their shape), and is otherwise just too narrowly focused on a single question to adequately connect it to the greater issue of how women’s bodies are assumed to be public sexual goods.

Which means that it ends up being ripe pickings for reality-denying douchebags who want to dismiss street harassment as something based on “uncontrollable lust” in order to make it seem more natural and innocuous than the reality.

So yeah, we’ve got the complete tool. He’s given himself the easiest softest pitch he could possibly manage to cherry-pick. Let’s see how he’ll still manage to knock himself out with the bat.

This is the kind of study MSNBC commentators can hold up when they’re talking about “rape culture.”

(slow clap)

That is… an impressive display of taking the easy bait and just going into… yeah, absolute horror movie villain territory.

Cause, see, it’s not enough to dismiss the work as being inadequately rigorous or even to go the full douchebag and claim it as proof that all feminist complaints about being reduced to a pair of tits is overblown nonsense.

No, no, no, you need to go the full windowless van route and try and argue that this is somehow “rape culture” (which is not at all revealing about how you view sex and sexual attraction, by the way, just saying).

Cause apparently all that nonsense about the cavalier way that rape is viewed by society and treated by our justice system or the fact that a disturbing number of people have been raped in their lives (as I’ve stated several times on this blog, I’ve been raped and so have most of my friends and all of my romantic partners) is just a handful of “hot girls” who are tired of having their tits stared at “all the time”.

Also, because apparently rape denialism is how the cool bigots know you are ready to sit at the big misogynist table.

But I know what are you thinking. How is he going to manage to top this level of complete assholery? Well, dear readers, do not worry, he’s got that covered.

Because men are just all Bashar al-Assad and sex is their chemical weapon.

Stay classy, libertarians. Stay classy.

Fifty-one percent of the U.S. population is a victimized group now. Don’t you know?

You can’t ever victimize anyone if they outnumber you! Like how white South Africans found it impossible to oppress black South Africans during Apartheid. Or how colonial invaders found it impossible to subjugate native populations or control countries like India through terror and genocide. Or how a handful of slave traders were completely incapable of enslaving a large amount of Africans and force them into heavy labor and legalized rape under the watch of a handful of slavers.

Oh wait, these are the fucks who deny any of that ever happened.

Never mind**.

Women are like Indians now.

Kssh… Brain malfunction. Abort. Retry. Fail.

I can’t even… Women are like Indians… Um, they are part of a South Asian country that has long been exploited by Western powers? Or is it old racist for Native Americans and whining about how some people actually pretend we give a fuck about the centuries of genocide, broken promises, and forced re-settlements we put them through?

Either way, I’m apparently not yet crazy enough to understand what the fuck he’s trying to get at.

Women are like Indians now… yeah, no.

You can’t give them a once-over, a polite grin, and be on your way.

Well, assuming it’s the racist Native interpretation, it’s more like “hand them a smallpox blanket, forcibly march them into inhospitable land, and then spend the next few centuries relocating them and slaughtering their children every time it turns out the land we marched them to had something we wanted”, but hey, small difference.

You can’t notice the fruits of their several-hour morning project of preparing themselves to be looked at. Pretty soon, looking at a woman’s chest will legally be a “hate” crime instead of a love crime.

But as bad as that is, we’re about to get to the examples of how brave men have already suffered grave oppression (which is totally worse than all the made-up non-oppression that those women-folk and “indians” are always rambling about) at the hands of a capricious and cruel matriarchal society that refuses to designate innocent things like rape and sexual harassment “love crimes”.

Yeah… I’m scared too.

It’s already started. There was the Massachusetts secretary who sued her boss for staring at her breasts.

Cause, there’s nothing about that arrangement that is at all problematic. Like something to do with it being work and him being her boss. Seriously, if your entire goal is to dismiss sexual harassment as made-up bullshit, maybe you shouldn’t start off with a clear-cut example of sexual harassment.

I mean, for fuck’s sake. It’s a goddamn workplace. You don’t see heterosexual women running around the workplace, accidentally dropping their pens so they can leer at the asses of their underlings and make constant comments about how they’d love to see them run. Cause that would be unprofessional as shit, exploit a power dynamic that reduces any ability to make complaints, and be completely rude and dehumanizing, reducing a person to a body part instead of their work.

And if you’re really going to argue that men literally can’t help staring like a starving dog begging for a bit of meat at any rounded curve of flesh that happens to cross their field of vision, then you are arguing that we should ban these subfunctional piles of shit from ever holding a position with more authority than local dogcatcher.

You don’t get to pretend that men are slavering lust beasts literally incapable of going 8 hours without goggling over their coworkers and underlings like a crowd at a strip show who are also the most qualified candidates for positions of power and authority.

It just doesn’t fucking work that way.

Also, I doubt for a second they’d be half as cavalier as women are expected to be if they were dealing with a gay male boss constantly leering at their package and making crude comments about how they could earn themselves a little overtime.

There was the social media uproar when two tech conference presenters in San Francisco made a joke presentation for an app based on men’s desire to stare at breasts.

Oh hey, that whole Adria Richards harassment campaign. I remember that one.

That was where a black woman programmer noted publicly the way a couple of dicks behind her were loudly trading sexist sex jokes near the front row of one of the few panels at the conference she attended to actually address the issue of women in programming. And it being the last straw in a long series of sexist garbage she had politely smiled through throughout the weekend.

And the internet response was to get her fired from her job (allegedly in retaliation for the company of one of the douchebags noting that one of the perpetrators has a bad habit of being an unprofessional asshole when he’s on the clock, but more about her daring to speak up about sexism in public), harass her at home and all over the web with constant death and rape threats and eventually get her to take down her twitter and webpage with the sheer volume of dedicated harassment.

And the best part is that he’s not even trying to pull the usual scumbag tactic of pretending she was an alien shapeshifter whose actions were so beyond the pale that poor honest white entitled douchebags were forced, FORCED I SAY, to make her into a bitter example of what happens to you when you fall under their radar.

Nope, he’s instead complaining about the “social media explosion”, i.e. all the people politely noting that maybe trying to blacklist and threaten with murder and death women who note sexism might, just might, be misogynistic as fuck.

Because apparently people lightly calling you out for supporting bullying at its worst is the worst oppression anyone could ever face in the entire world!

This is what the progressives exist to do.

Not send death/rape threats to women they disagree with?

Uh… those bastards?

They take away our activities.

Ohhhhhh. They “take away” your god-given right to send constant death and rape threats to women who dare exist near you!

Well, not in a way that actually limits your ability to be a massive abusive asshole who takes out their petty frustrations of a changing society on any woman unlucky enough to cross your path.

More like, just mildly criticizing you with their freedom of speech for being complete fucks who are reaching out-of-control levels of abuse and hate crimes.

Which, to be fair, as per that secret Constitution we were mentioning before, is against the explicit law stating that conservatives are never criticized ever and are always heralded for being immoral immature imbeciles.

If it’s an activity and it’s kind of fun or pleasurable, the progressives are going to take it away.

I mean, torturing any woman who dares use our internet is fun. And you wouldn’t take away someone’s fun would you? I mean, that would be being a killjoy, right? Like my mother. Never letting me keep the girls I dragged back home. And I showed her, didn’t I?!? You want to end up in the box too?!?!? DO YOU?!?!?!?!?

That’s the very basis of their personality type. They’re the regulators. The hall monitors.

And here we get to the very core of their aggrieved wannabe victim mentality don’t we?

Sometimes in high school they were blocked from doing what they wanted, like beating up that fag with the lip ring or raping that cheerleader in the bathroom and that one time they were at all impeded is going to steam in their mind for all time.

While Frank Zappa may have noted that we all carry the scars of high school with us, most of us do a decent job of covering those over with a fun variety of adulthood scars and oppressions to call our very own.

Libertarian white douchebags don’t. They never move on from those one or two ways in which the world didn’t cater to them like they thought. Didn’t deliver their first crush into their arms or didn’t give them an A for that paper they shat out in 20 minutes or the time some “narc” tried to stop them from punching out the queer.

They nurse that one grudge, because it’s the only scar they will ever have, their lives are so devoid of genuine hardship.

And hey, that’d be cool. No one should have to suffer hardship just to survive.

But they want to be heralded as brave freedom fighters undoing the cruel burden of society’s oppression for being the lucky beneficiaries of the easiest difficulty setting. They want to pretend that they are just as long suffering as their various victims.

And… no. Just no. Thanks for playing, please enjoy a copy of our home game.

Maybe catching a side glance of some cleavage on the subway isn’t for you. Fine. But for those of us who enjoy that, it’s one more thing that we’re allowed to do in this country. I’m not big on skiing, but if I see somebody walking down the street with some skis I’m cool with that. Why ban things that you might want to try sometime?

I mean, not everyone enjoys keeping people chained up in the basement as pets before eventually skinning them and sewing them into a three-piece suit, but why should we ban it for those who do. I mean, we let people play golf and that’s practically the same thing.

What? “Fun” isn’t an adequate reason for infringing on someone else’s right to not be molested or harmed? What is this? Hitler’s Germany?

Honestly, though, I cannot get over how much libertarian “reasoning” is indistinguishable from the tantrums of a spoiled child incapable of processing the fact that other people aren’t just toys in his own personal playground.

I’m not saying looking at tits is any kind of noble pursuit.

Well, thank you for sparing us from that half-hearted bit of vomitous refuge.

But on that note.

Um… you do realize that there’s such a thing as the internet, right?

I mean, yes, sure, you are using it right now to post your little self-serving tantrum, but you do realize it has other uses, right?

Like porn. Cause see there is a shit-ton of porn on the internet. I mean, I’m only pointing this out, because you seem to think that awkwardly trying to bend your head in order to peek through the corner of the sleeping girl at the bus is your only chance to see mostly naked tits and that’s just not true.

With the wonders of the internet, you can see tits in a wide-variety of undress. Even completely nude! And not like one or two hard-to-find images, either. Like all over the place. Doing pretty much anything you can imagine and in all shapes and sizes. You can even see drawings of ambulatory boobs wholly unencumbered by unappealing connection to a full woman creature.

Much like the creepers who seem to think that peeking under bathroom stalls is the only way to see vaginas in your sad sexless existence, you don’t actually need to go through all that trouble anymore. You can just wait til you get home and then spend the whole night masturbating to a full tit buffet if you like even if your nightmare world comes to pass and no man can even side-glance at a woman’s chest ever again.

Seriously, it’s not the end of the fucking world, unless it’s not about the tits at all, but rather the enforcement of public spaces as specifically male and… oh… ohhhhhhh.

Never mind.

But it’s one more freedom. It’s one more thing that has been allowed in this country since the time of James Madison and Thomas Jefferson. One more thing that we’re not going to be allowed to do in the progressive future.

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets!

… for the right to creep on your tits, yell catcalls at random strangers on the street, perv on employees, and send death/rape threats to strangers on the internet…

I don’t want to startle you, but your cry of freedom seems to lose a little something in the translation.

And you know what else? A lot of women like it.

Sighhhhh…

Stone Temple Pilots, if you would be so kind.

Ladies, how are you going to feel when the progressives prohibit men from paying you a compliment on your walk home from the bar? You know there’s always one friend of yours who waited all night for that.

Uh huh, sure they do.

Yeah, I know it’s how you rationalize this shit, just like every other run-of-the-mill misogynist who tries to float this argument, but no one, and I mean no one really looks forward to the catcalls on the street.

Even those who are going to a place to get noticed (bar, party, date, group outing, sex dungeon) or even to straight up have public sex. Not a damn one.

In fact, the gauntlet to get to and from a location, worrying if your outfit is going to get targeted by some creeper driving past or some dick by the side of the road is pretty much every woman’s least favorite part of the night and is the part they most dread navigating.

And every single one of them has their evening lessened if they are harassed by some aggressive douchebag leering at their tits and asking how much for a throw-down. Even if they are specifically going someplace to be noticed. Even if they are going someplace to specifically be noticed by someone in a sexual manner. Even if they are going someplace to have sex or seek out a sexual partner for the night. Even if they are really craving some external validation of their attractiveness. Even then, it still doesn’t impact like a compliment. Doesn’t raise spirits or make one feel good. And it never fails to be a black mark on otherwise enjoyable days.

And yeah, that makes perfect sense, because frankly it isn’t a compliment and no one genuinely believes it is. It’s a statement of reduction, to remind a woman that she can be reduced to prey. And it happens to pretty much all women. I’ve known a number of women who said they got harassed on the street before they even hit puberty. Of all different body shapes and skin colors. I’ve even watched it happen right in front of me to people I love. Hell, even my brick ass has had to deal with it.

And it has nothing to do with sexuality, sexual attraction, or sex. I’ve been topless in an outdoor crowd. I’ve been naked in a room full of strangers. I’ve done scenes half-naked with strangers literally watching the entire time. And it didn’t erupt into catcalls or demands for sex. It didn’t require someone staring solely at my tits or making crude comments about how I could service them. And every time I felt a hell of a lot safer than I have on route to those places, dressed way more conservatively.

And it sucks that that is pretty much the shared experience of nearly everyone who has been read as female at some point in their life. Cause it really shouldn’t be a fraught thing just to walk around like everyone else.

And if you happen to be a woman who isn’t employed by the Democratic National Committee or the New York Times, maybe you’re really not all that offended by these sorts of things.

This reminds me of when a feminist actually called out someone making one of those “women love being harassed” arguments and asked exactly where were all the women writing positively of being targeted on the street if it really was so much more than all the multitudes of women who have written about how much it all sucks.

Funny enough, he also tried to claim it was an invisible silent majority too.

It’s almost like bigots who are losing the culture wars want to pretend to be part of a big majority in order to make their regressive crap seem popular or something…

Because you realize that when progressives ban things, they don’t just prohibit activities: they set a new rule that goes out through the culture that must be obeyed.

Using their powerful Hypnosquids, they rewrite the very laws of physics itself, banning forever the action from every organism in the universe. You may think you can gaze lovingly at your partner on the bed, but HA, liberal mind whammies will have you staring at the dog instead! And then they’ll make you gay marry that dog and then you’ll become man pregnant and have to get a sex-change/abortion!

It’s the liberal wayyyyy!

And the new rule affects everyone. From the guy who now has to cover his face so as not to look at a hot girl’s tits,

I know this is supposed to serve as his faux-martyr “big scary moment” for all the other douchebags to act horrified by, but I just can’t stop laughing at the image of some wannabe macho dude involuntarily being forced to cover his face every time a woman walked past due to hippie commie brainwashing.

And the real kicker is that would still probably impact that asshole less than street harassment negatively impacts women on a daily basis.

to the girl whose tits can no longer be looked at,

Yeah… on that note. Um, a)I’m pretty sure consenting partners that she wants to stare at her tits will still be able to look at that shit, b)if not there’s the internet… you know, where the boobs live and um…

c) Back to that whole topless in a public place thing I was talking about a bit ago… yeah… it was in a place where there were a lot of dudes straight up buck naked walking around, but I still got some looks and even some people who wanted to take pictures. Some were respectful and asked for permission for a picture. Some were leering jackasses who tried to take a sly picture of me when they thought I wasn’t looking***. Guess which ones I remember fondly and guess which ones made me a little nervous about being topless in non-safe public spaces.

Heh, and those guys were at least better than the assholes unrelated to the event who were along the way and demanded sexual services of me when I was fully clothed and on route.

But hey, keep pretending that we’ll lose something when all you assholes are finally shamed into not being aggressive douchebags.

to the friend of the girl who could have laughed when it happened,

Heh.

~Somebody forgot their rhetorical construction!~

But seriously, it is funny when bigots get so distracted by excusing their bad behavior that they forget that they were originally trying to prove why a behavior is totally awesome and how they’ll be totally missed if they are thrown out rather than why it’s simply not as bad as it seems.

Also, I’ve been in groups that were having a good time when a creeper comes creeping. I hate to break it to you assholes, but the only laughter is nervous.

to the bar owner standing outside who could have lured them both in for a drink,

Uhhhhh… “lured?” Are you in the back of a windowless van with a giant bag of candy while you write this… Actually on second thought, please for the love of Bob don’t answer that.

Also, once again, how is this supposed to be a positive side-effect of street harassment? In any other way than women who are being stalked and abused by some aggressive dudebro wearing a fedora are likely to duck into any space they can find to try and lose him?

Also, I’m pretty sure most decent bar owners hate harassment, because things that make women feel less safe going out to do things like go to bars means less customers for overpriced drinks.

to the husband’s small business partner who knows the story of how they met and smirks about it over dinner,

Uhhh… is he trying to argue that women marry the construction workers and drunks who catcall them on the street? Or is this just one of those “if you are ever sexual in any space, then you consent to being sexual in all spaces (but only to me)” things that libertarian assholes get all het up on from time to time?

to the daughter at their 30th anniversary party who decided that she just wanted to be a full-time mom and raise her kids Christian and send them to private school and she was proud of her decisions in life.

Okkkaaaayyy I’m pretty sure, like most conversations with creepers, we’ve simply veered into the part of the conversation where he is just openly masturbating.

Also, ew.

This is why conservatives will own the future of this country, and progressive leadership will fall by the wayside.

Surrrrre. You keep telling yourself that. Young people clamoring to rewind back the clock and give away all their rights for a bunch of old farts who ruined the country and the planet and then stuck them with the mess.

Whatever helps you forget you’ve hitched your line to a sinking ship, grandpa.

Americans in nursing homes don’t like their activities being taken away.

So?

I mean, sure, I could make the easy joke about who cares what they demand, they’ll be dead soon, but honestly, why the fuck are we supposed to care about the battle for activities in a nursing home as if it’s somehow the only battle on the planet.

And certainly, why should we play along with this bullshit and not notice that it is an apt metaphor to the tired way privileged people try and cling to old methods of doing things, simply out of habit and a hazy remember of how it used to be “better”.

It’s tragic, I know, but the old days are gone. The backgammon set of patriarchy is faded and torn and the way women politely suffered through your gauntlet of crap just to survive is thankfully coming to a close. A new day is dawning and you can either embrace what can still come in your remaining days, or you can sit like a discarded bit of tissue trying to will Butterscotch Pudding Day back into existence with a pained expression on your face.

The choice is yours.

But that nurse who comes in Tuesdays for hip rehabilitation? She’s just fine.

Well, hate to break it to you but she’s happily married to her lesbian lover and when you go on that final dark journey, the only mark you will leave on her is a happy note that she will never again have to change the bedpan on that creeper in Room 6.

Cause no one will miss your ilk when they go. No one will look back and go “you know what this movement is missing, all those libertarian assholes who sent rape threats to every woman who joined”. No one will walk the streets unmolested and go “gosh, I was really looking forward to having somebody call me a fat bitch because I wouldn’t suck off a complete stranger”.

No one will mourn your passing or think proudly of your entitled flail at the notion that you don’t always get your way.

But then, you already knew that. It’s why you are so aggressive about trying to push women out of any space you are in. Because you know you are on the wrong side of history looking at the drawn curtains that separate you from where all the boobies are.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Breasts, boobs, fun bags, great stonking tits! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Yes, I know that I’m going to Hell for that one. I will see you all there. We’ll go for drinks, it’ll be great.

**Seriously though, this “they were the majority” argument is even more stupid the more you think about it. It’s not like women being a slight majority of the population is a new thing. If it was true that women couldn’t be oppressed now because “numbers”, then they couldn’t ever be oppressed because the same numbers, which means no “marriage is a transfer of female property between father and husband” or “marital rape is a-okay” or witch burnings or even those honor killings that racists like to cite as proof of why we should bomb brown people.

Which, okay, given the average arguments of professional misogynists… yeah, I might buy that that’s exactly what they are trying to argue, but still…

***Which on that note, I noticed that one of the “surreptitious photo guys” was an infamous homophobe who always crashes that event in order to gather “fundraiser” materials for the next year, so it is very likely that I’ll be an example of what is poisoning America’s children in an anti-gay newsletter in the near future. Go me!

286 Comments »

  1. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 17, 2013 at 14:39

    Whoa whoa whoa. Wait. What was that about there being porn on the internet? AFAF.

  2. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 17, 2013 at 14:40

    Oh also, FIRSTIES! GO CERB!

  3. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 17, 2013 at 14:49

    Seriously though, this guys whatever-the-fuck-it-is-supposed-to-be (I will not be considering it an actual piece of writing) is a frigging mess. I mean if you are going to invent a totally ludicrous position to ascribe to all Lefties (i.e. ogling is a hate crime), you should be able to find a moat sinister than something about nursing homes. Wherever the fuck that came from.

  4. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 17, 2013 at 15:15

    The fact is, gays and lesbians are allowed to leer at each other and straights and cannot be stopped or corrected, because it is part of there unique culture we are opressing. The culture of majority of USA is being opressed by freaks who do not belong here, the way they take away God and Christmas is the same thing.

  5. Athena's Owl, Liz said,

    December 17, 2013 at 15:19

    I like the leap from “science says it’s terrible” to “liberals gonna ban it!” Science = liberals always, natch.

    Also, the leap from someone calmly pointing out “hey, women are individuals like yourself who don’t want to be treated like a piece of meat to be ogled as they go about their business” to…. what? Prison time or a fine for leering?

    So much projection.

    Finally, the list of all those who will lose out, what to say? Businesses will lose out because bar owners didn’t draw people in? (Frankly, I don’t know the last time I saw that happen!) good Christian women won’t be able to wed and pump out home-schooled babies! Nurses won’t go to hip rehabilitation?

    Yeah. Maybe liberals really should reconsider their platform…..

  6. Trilby said,

    December 17, 2013 at 16:23

    Wow. That was a long rant. Not sure where Libertarians fit in, but I admit I skimmed some of it.

  7. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 16:38

    There are pictures of naked women on the internet?

    I may need to research this. It could take a while.

  8. bughunter said,

    December 17, 2013 at 16:48

    YAY, Tit Thread!

    I’m more of a leg and ass man myself, but yay!

    ObOT: Libertarian BS is always about extending their “gotta have it all” financial playstyle into the domain of rights and privileges. The fundamental premise of their philosophy -that humans are rational, reasonable, honest actors – is fundamentally, repeatably demonstrably false. Once that’s disproven, the rest of their arguments all collapse down to petulance and avarice.

  9. Failure Artist said,

    December 17, 2013 at 16:57

    I would ask how this guy would feel if someone treated his mother or sister that way but probably all his female relatives have disowned him.

    When those guys in the student commons yelled “my dick in your ear!”* I didn’t think it was because I was so hot they could not control their lust. I thought it was because I’m such a wimp I’d sit slack-jawed and do nothing back. Sadly, they were right.

    *might have been “dick in your rear” which also sounds weird to me. Why not say ass?

  10. histrogeek said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:13

    It’s always so weird that on the one hand, liberals are making our society crude and impolite, what with their profanity, incivility, and lack of lese majeste (look it up plebs). On the other hand, they are out to ban crude, assholeish behavior like lewd shouting. Hmmm, if only we could figure out their master plan? It must be one of those super clever tricks like Jewish banker communists that the forces of darkness are always involved in. Thankfully Encyclopedia Dudebro is on the case.

  11. bughunter said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:19

    Oh, also, too: Traveling to Manhattan in about 10 days and wondering if the Foodlynauts here have any recommendations for haute cuisine on that humble little island there.

    The wife is a total slow food/locavore/Alice Waters fan. I’m more of an ethnic explorer, but I’ll eat nearly anything.

    Definitely need a lead on a good Sicilian spot, too. Garlic and tomato flow through my veins.

  12. The Dark God of Time AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:21

    histrogeek,

    It’s part of our sekret mind control plot, to make ordinary people hypocrites who talk a good game about Christianity but fail to live up to the standards it sets for them.

    Or, as you know them, Tea Partiers.

  13. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:23

    Still researching………..

    Oh my!

  14. The Dark God of Time AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:40

    We know where they [Iraq's WMD] are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south, and north somewhat….I would also add, we saw from the air that there were dozens of trucks that went into that facility after the existence of it became public in the press and they moved things out. They dispersed them and took them away. So there may be nothing left. I don’t know that. But it’s way too soon to know. The exploitation is just starting.

  15. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:41

    We’ll be greeted as liberators.

  16. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:42

    The invasion will cost $50 billion tops and will pay for itself through oil revenues.

  17. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:53

    sooo…i got to this line:

    Women are like Indians now. You can’t give them a once-over, a polite grin, and be on your way*.

    before i yelled, ‘fuck you!’…from thence on out, i repeated that phrase pretty much once a paragraph…and wtf is with his little ‘ogling and hitting on women you don’t know is such a norman rockwell-esque experience…here let me imagine it for you’ rhetorical thing that he totally botched?

    is this considered edgy, or edgily humorous, or sharp in the conservadrome?

    *although it is rather amusing to think of him out in indian country giving all the natives the once over and a polite grin and then moseying on…i would guarantee he would not make it very damn far…

    also, if that’s what he considers flirting, he’s doing it WRONG…

  18. The Dark God of Time AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:55

    The problem here is that there will always be some uncertainty about how quickly Saddam can acquire nuclear weapons. But we don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.

  19. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 17, 2013 at 17:59

    So. . .does this LHW/Anonymous/Dennis/Travis Bickle Jr. ever stop the incessant whinging and finger-pointing, or does it just go on and on like thisad infinitum ? To be fair, he does have a position and captive audience that would make the mentally-disturbed man down at the bus stop hollering about how the UN is monitoring his thoughts green with envy.

  20. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:04

    do NOT go mango hunting:

    How constructive…

    Women are so fucking vapid….

    Listen closely.. the article is talking about society making our natural impulses illegal.

    We are slowly making BEING HUMAN illegal. For the overly-sensitive, women-are victims crowd.

    Get it now?

    Ask yourself.. whats more important.. your “feelings” or humanity?

    sadly, this is one of the better comments…

  21. The Dark God of Time AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:09

    I knew the mangoes would be smelly, but these are bacterial colonies occupying the inside of a mango skin.

  22. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:17

    The guy write eerily similarly to Pennis.

    Could so!done explain the Indian thing? I don’t see the connection.

  23. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:19

    Someone. I think they updated the keyboard again. And further broke it.

  24. Anonymous said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:21

    Obama lied, nobody died.

  25. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:28

    Could so!done explain the Indian thing? I don’t see the connection.

    right? it may be one of the greatest non-sequiters of all time…

  26. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 17, 2013 at 18:32

    I’ll take it that the answer to my earlier question is “no”; still, Anonymouse’s devotion to his delusions is so great it approaches a perverse form of grandeur – not unlike those imperial japanese soldiers in the pacific, still fighting the war 20 years after it ended.

  27. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:05

    Gee, that means Obama’s toast for the 2016 elections, amirite?

  28. tigris said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:20

    BOOBIES

    Women are like Indians now. You can’t give them a once-over, a polite grin, and be on your way

    I had no idea Indian-ogling was a thing.

  29. Pupienus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:20

    Attention Herr Clyde. You may have known about this but I just learned today

    The Rijksmuseum has free high res downloads http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/29/arts/design/museums-mull-public-use-of-online-art-images.html

    https://www.rijksmuseum.nl/en/rijksstudio

    25000+ at the National Gallery https://images.nga.gov/en/page/show_home_page.html

    And now

    On Friday, we saw some of the first fruits of that digitization. The British Library released more than a million images from its books to the public domain, publishing them to Flickr Commons for anyone to use or adapt. The images come from 46,000 books from the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries, by authors both revered (Dickens!) and forgotten.

    http://britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk/digital-scholarship/2013/12/a-million-first-steps.html

    The really cool part is

    The library is trying out something of a new tack with this release, though. While it knows the title, author, and publishing year of its books, it doesn’t know the content of the images—what they actually depict. So early next year, it says it will roll out a crowdsourcing website and ask the public for its help in identifying the content of the images.

    Also the Getty trust

    http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/08/a-guide-to-the-webs-growing-set-of-free-image-collections/278655/

  30. Pupienus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:26

    Pat Buchanan LURVS him some Putin

    President Reagan once called the old Soviet Empire “the focus of evil in the modern world.” President Putin is implying that Barack Obama’s America may deserve the title in the 21st century.

    Nor is he without an argument when we reflect on America’s embrace of abortion on demand, homosexual marriage, pornography, promiscuity, and the whole panoply of Hollywood values.
    [...]
    Unelected justices declared abortion and homosexual acts to be constitutionally protected rights. Judges have been the driving force behind the imposition of same-sex marriage. Attorney General Eric Holder refused to enforce the Defense of Marriage Act.

    And he hates, I mean really really hates hates hates hates, me and Teh Ho

    ame-sex marriage is supported by America’s young, but most states still resist it, with black pastors visible in the vanguard of the counterrevolution. In France, a million people took to the streets of Paris to denounce the Socialists’ imposition of homosexual marriage.

    Only 15 nations out of more than 190 have recognized it.

    HAHAHAHAHA Suck on it you Hitler lover.

    http://townhall.com/columnists/patbuchanan/2013/12/17/is-putin-one-of-us-n1764094

  31. Pupienus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:27

    oops

  32. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:29

    Pat Buchanan LURVS him some Putin

    From one authoritarian to another.

  33. Failure Artist said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:33

    I think the author forgets what he’s talking about mid-sentence, hence the Indian thing.

  34. Pupienus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:39

    Speaking of not making sense, let’s play name that whingnut!

    If we have a system where the government is going to be the principal provider of health care for the country, we’re done. Because then, you are dependent on the government for your life and your health.
    […]
    And the reason is because most people don’t get sick, and so free health care is just that, free health care, until you get sick. Then, if you get sick and you don’t get health care, you die and you don’t vote. It’s actually a pretty clever system. Take care of the people who can vote and people who can’t vote, get rid of them as quickly as possible by not giving them care so they can’t vote against you. That’s how it works.”

    No cheating!

  35. Dwight D. Eisenhower said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:44

    Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.

  36. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:49

    Just here to mention that these valiant douchebros dying on the beaches of Iwo Jagoff for the noble cause of male chauvinism don’t just oppress the ladyfolk with all the leering & abusive behavior in public spaces … they’re also making it so any of us non-chauvinist fellers who look at said ladyfolk in passing are getting the stinkeye back because it’s assumed by default that every time we look at them, we’re libidinously ogling their feminine charms.

    So yeah, thanks a lot, you ignorant fuckers.

  37. Pupienus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:49

    Major Kong spotted?

  38. Comrade Rutherford said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:49

    Back in the 1990s I did lights for an art performance space.

    On piece that’s stuck with me all these years was a spoken word monologue about the fashion model who starts out talking confidently about walking to work all dressed up and getting catcalls and ‘let’s fuck’ comments from all the men aged 12-102. The piece moves into being angry and insulted about this, and also comments on how stupid men are to think that this behavior will in any way be successful.

    The piece ended with her being frightened by all that attention, and her concern for those men that behave like that, wondering if they are all rapists that can barely control themselves.

    But she ends with describing going out when she’s not heading to work for a fashion designer, in shapeless sweats with no makeup and her hair unwashed, and how no one looks at here or ever recognizes her, she’s anonymous and invisible. Which is also scary.

    I wish I had the text for that piece, it was amazing and powerful.

  39. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 19:59

    Major Kong spotted?

    i’m not sure if i want to know what google that resulted from…

  40. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:08

    I can’t even… Women are like Indians…

    We’re outsourcing all our IT jobs to women now?

  41. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:11

    What’s the over/under on Patrick Howley being a big MRAsshole?

  42. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:20

    A failed President as a hipster icon?

    I guess that makes up for all the silence about the GWB years by the Republicans from 2008 to the present day.

    Next thing you’ll know, these hipsters will insist that Social Security be privatized and call themselves compassionate conservatives.

  43. Cerberus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:23

    People who can’t understand how something “uncool” can become popular with hipsters clearly do not understand how hipsters work.

    They’re not drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon for the taste.

  44. CRA said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:24

    My eyes are up here

  45. DataSnake said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:45

    Nice to see you’re a TFS fan too, Cerberus! Hope you have a happy Freeza Day this year!

  46. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 20:48

    not that i’m a huge graydon carter fan, but really, any magazine editor that comes up with this doesn’t strike me as a magazine that is ‘concerned’ that certain persons find gw to be cool and hip…

    also, too…anyone is capable of self-reflection…it’s a matter of how deep and honest your willing to go…

  47. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:02

    d’oh! linkfail!

    this!, i meant this!

  48. VCarlson said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:05

    OK, I’ve read the whole thing, and first I gotta say sing it, sister!

    As for the assholes here

    Most illustrative recent case, might be this one (TRIGGER WARNING) where the maker of a little free play game about what it feels like to live with depression who has been harassed on her home phone with people demanding she kill herself because she made the game while female.

    Who apparently believe it’s impossible for a woman to truly be depressed because … sex? On behalf of my mother, who battled depression her entire adult life (at least), I quote Austin Loomis when I invite them to

    please fuck as far off as you can, then rest up, then fuck off some more.

  49. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:12

    I’m not saying looking at tits is any kind of noble pursuit. But it’s one more freedom. It’s one more thing that has been allowed in this country since the time of James Madison and Thomas Jefferson.

    For white guys…

  50. Nightsky said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:14

    >>There was the social media uproar when two tech conference presenters in San Francisco made a joke presentation for an app based on men’s desire to stare at breasts.
    >Oh hey, that whole Adria Richards harassment campaign. I remember that one.

    No, that was an *entirely* *different* recent tech conference incident that laid bare the fetid underbelly of the tech community’s seething misogyny. The one being referred to by the… article… is the “Titstare” thing. Adria Richards was dongle-gate.

    Do try to keep up.

  51. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:18

    When it comes to lauding someone’s supposed intelligence, “seems capable of self-reflection” is rather weak sauce, dontcha think? Talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations.

  52. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:24

    Hipsters also believe that George W. Bush has a somewhat adequately functional central nervous system. Vindication! It’s just around the corner!

  53. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:32

    Now GWB being a hipster favorite, now Obamas latest poll numbers. I’m still not sure as a librul which one should scare me more.

  54. VCarlson said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:47

    Pew: Liberal support for Obama at all-time low, worse than George W. Bush and conservatives

    I think this might be a case of falling for your own hype. As far as I know, the only people calling Obama “the most liberal President ever” are the GOPbaggers. It was pretty obvious to me in 2008 that Obama was a “moderate Democrat,” otherwise known to liberals like me as “pretty damn conservative.” My vote for Obama in 2008 was a combination of voting against McCain/Palin (a truly horrifying prospect) and a hope that I was wrong about Obama. I still believe the man had the potential to be a truly great President who also happened to be our first black one.

  55. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:53

    Pew: Liberal support for Obama at all-time low, worse than George W. Bush and conservatives

    Obviously this means liberals should support the Ted Cruz campaign in 2016.

  56. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:56

    Obviously this means liberals should support the Ted Cruz campaign in 2016.

    oh, i thought we already were…he’s got neat coloring books!

  57. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 21:58

    My vote for Obama in 2008 was a combination of voting against McCain/Palin (a truly horrifying prospect) and a hope that I was wrong about Obama. I still believe the man had the potential to be a truly great President who also happened to be our first black one.

    that’s pretty much where i was as well…i’m an eternal optimist and am still waiting for him to do something completely awesome and once he does that something awesome to say, ‘tak that bitches!’

  58. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:05

    oh, i thought we already were…he’s got neat coloring books!

    I like to color them in an ironic hipsterish kind of way.

  59. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:06

    “Gosh, I only voted for him because I didn’t want to vote for McCain.”

    What a cowardly thing to say.

    If only more liberals had voted for Nader, we could have enacted truly meaningful change. What cowards we are.

  60. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:11

    Nothing exudes courage like calling some a coward under the nom de plume of Anonymous.

  61. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:16

    also, did anyone actually say that? mmmmmmmmm…no.

    If only more liberals had voted for Nader, we could have enacted truly meaningful change. What cowards we are.

    i know! i always fall for the ‘don’t waste your vote’ line of thinking…i decided in the last go round, that i would vote for who i wanted and not worry about the stats…

    i’m always pretty forthright about who i voted for and why…i love people like mom though who are always, ‘hey, who i voted for is none of your business!’ even among friends in a friendly conversation and when there are others who voted in the same way…the only thing i can think of is that the asshat got her to vote for a weirdo and she’s too ashamed to admit it…

    maybe for christmas i’ll make myself a shirt that says, ‘yeah, i voted for obama…what of it?!’ and wear it all the time…

  62. CRA said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:18

    When I know nothing about a given subject, other than that it has caught the attention of hipsters, I form few expectations. They are an ironic people, enamored of contexts and juxtapositions; thing-in-itself holds little significance for them. Adopting an article of kitsch is supposed to say something about the hipster, hmm? moreso than about the kitsch. It’s hard to explain, which is not to say deep.

    This is not the sort of legacy a U.S. president hopes for.

  63. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:22

    Major Kong spotted?

    I love that picture.

    I’ve been that low, but it was over the desert.

  64. CRA said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:28

    I’ve been that low, but it was over the desert.

    The ocean is a desert, with it’s life underground,
    And a perfect disguise above.

  65. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:35

    I’ve flown through the desert on a bomber with no name… OK it had a name, not that you’d know it if I told you…
    I don’t know, it seems like it’s missing something.

  66. Major Kong said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:35

    Put it this way – we were looking up at sand dunes.

  67. VCarlson said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:40

    This is not the sort of legacy a U.S. president hopes for.

    Yeah, but who knows about Junior? I think he was the first time the power brokers went deliberately looking for an empty suit to run and do their bidding. Reagan pointed the way, of course, and was probably a happy accident for them, but Reagan had political dreams before the kingmakers. Georgie always seemed to be uncomfortable with the whole “politics” thing, only seeming to begin to enjoy it when the lickspittles started finding his bullyboy antics somehow charming (really? In what universe is a habit of giving everyone a junior-high nickname anything other than a sign that the nicknamer is contemptuous of everyone?).

  68. VCarlson said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:43

    Put it this way – we were looking up at sand dunes.

    That is some pretty amazing flying.

  69. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:48

    grrr…how does a person (ok, my mother) have to have a desktop, a laptop, an ipad and an iphone and still NOT ACCESS THE FUCKING INTERNET except for facebook?! she is convinced now that she has cancer because one of the ‘doctor ladies’ who checked her out had d.o. after her name which obvs means ‘doctor of oncology’…i googled it and found it actually means osteopathic which i told her but i’m pretty sure she doesn’t believe me…but then again, she also felt she needed to explain the term ‘geriatric’ to me…

    i haz headache…

  70. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:53

    DO is indeed doctor of oesteopathic medicine. Which used to be heavy on the woo but anymore even if there are some old DOs teaching woo in med school they do their internships and residencies (which is where you actually learn to doctor) side by side with the MD folks.

    Also FYWP.

  71. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 17, 2013 at 22:59

    Let’s make this simpler. The only states that have reached 10 percent of their enrollment goals are California, Colorado, Connecticut, New York and Rhode Island; Kentucky is close.

    A compelling argument for single-payer, then. I’m sure Denny-baby is already lobbying Congress to pass it as we speak, like the good citizen he is.

  72. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:03

    woo?

  73. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:05

    oh, also, too…farrah is a silver ford f150 crew cab pickemup truck…it’s an ’05 which is the latest model our budget can afford…i fell in love with her immediately…that’s how i am with cars…i either love them or hate them upon the test drive…hubbkf still insists on looking at more vehicles or test-driving the one we’re interested a hundred more times, but then we always end up getting the one i named…i guess i’m just sort of an auto-whisperer that way…or an auto-medium…

  74. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:06

    Let’s make this simpler. The only states that have reached 10 percent of their enrollment goals are California, Colorado, Connecticut, New York and Rhode Island; Kentucky is close.

    and as i have said before, there are always a shit-ton of persons who do not do anything until seconds before the deadline…

  75. VCarlson said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:12

    woo?

    Without looking for online definitions and citations, my personal understanding of “woo” (in Pup’s context) is lots of handwaving and insistence on belief (as in, if when the “treatment” doesn’t work, it’s because one didn’t truly believe, not because of any lack in the “treatment” itself). No documentable science backing it up, and any studies showing it doesn’t work are simply examples of the entrenched ptb hating the “truth.” You know, woo.

  76. Smut Clyde said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:21

    The Rijksmuseum has free high res downloads http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/29/arts/design/museums-mull-public-use-of-online-art-images.html

    There were pictures there of NAKKID LADEEZ. Sha’n't be back!

    woo?
    Used to describe any form of treatment which is best accompanied by theremin sound effects

  77. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:22

    Gee, that wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that many states are refusing to have their poor uninsured citizens covered under Obamacare despite the fact that it would take place at no cost to any of the states in question, would it?

  78. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:29

    Did you know that Rembrandt sketched a picture of an elephant? I didn’t know that until I read an article about the founder of paleontology in the latest New Yorker.

    DNA results demonstrate that he correctly depicted the type of elephant he was drawing from life:

    http://geogenetics.ku.dk/latest-news/elephant/

    And yes, at the link they used the word ‘painted’, when the drawing itself contradicts the use of that term.

  79. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:30

    You know, woo

    o i c…

  80. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:30

    Still didn’t answer the question, o courageous one. You can’t put that bottle back into the genie.

  81. An archetype said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:31

    The guy actually ‘wrote’ this ‘article? And some editor agreed to run it?
    Well isn’t that a bag of tits!

  82. bbkf said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:51

    hmmmmm…archbishop who dragged feet in sex abuse scandal now stands accused himself…

  83. Thread Bear said,

    December 17, 2013 at 23:55

    I think they updated the keyboard again. And further broke it.

    http://xkcd.com/1284/

  84. CRA said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:05

    If looking at women gets you in trouble, you’re doing it wrong.

    Of course the different between looking and ogling can be subtle, but that’s social life in general for you, about which tough titty, said the kitty.

    The problem seems to be that, in a society of equals, anybody is allowed to act offended, and can even decide on what bases to take offense! Why, everyone could have different preferences. Even the Golden Rule only goes so far.

    A well-understood social hierarchy addresses this problem neatly. Kiss up, kick down. If you want to know which women you can harrass, for example, begin by knowing everyone’s place, and your own.

    Rather hard to do in a relatively free and heterogeneous society.

  85. Thread Bear said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:16

    Yeah, but who knows about Junior? I think he was the first time the power brokers went deliberately looking for an empty suit to run and do their bidding.
    I always thought Dan Quayle was the first, they just couldn’t get him elected.

  86. bbkf said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:18

    this line:

    You can’t give them a once-over, a polite grin, and be on your way.

    has been bugging me all day…really? this guy thinks it’s okay to stone cold check women out and then give them a *polite* grin and then walk on? what does he do if he see’s a woman who doesn’t meet his expectations? hold his hands up over his eyes so he can’t see them? and why the fuck does he feel like any woman would be gratified by his approval of how they look?

    i have to stop thinking about this…it is making me junkpunchy…

  87. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:38

    Reminds me of a blast from the past:

    It is not going to happen, liberals. Your echo chamber is reverberating now with your shouts of victory before you’ve won a single state. I almost feel badly for you, because when McCain wins, your astonishment will be overwhelming. I say “almost” because your ideology is nasty, anti-free speech, and absolutist, and every decent person will sigh in relief when it goes down to defeat once more.

    Here is how it will go down next week. First, the results from Virginia and North Carolina will come in, and they’ll be declared for McCain. You’ll be disappointed, but “no big deal, change can’t come overnight” will be your comment. Florida will go red, and a little nervousness will creep in. The usual suspects will fall into the usual categories. As the night drags on, Ohio, Colorado, and (much to your horror) Pennsylvania will be too close to call.

    My advice at this point to you will be to go to bed. You will wake up to a McCain presidency and the Great Liberal Freakout will be on.

    Bookmark this, liberals, as this is exactly how it is going to go down. You will be wonder how the hell I was able to call this.

    Yep, because the WaPo has a great record of calling an election almost a year before it takes place.

  88. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:46

    Cool. Bad Religion does Xmas songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB2l6UESSyo

  89. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:54

    Also cool, Erstwhile and sometimes Sadlynaughter Ben Tripp’s new novel is out.

    http://www.amazon.com/Rise-Again-Below-Zero-Tripp/dp/1451668325/ref=bxgy_cc_b_text_a

  90. Major Kong said,

    December 18, 2013 at 0:57

    Ben Tripp’s new novel is out.

    You had me at “zombie carnage”.

  91. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:05

    Also cool, Erstwhile and sometimes Sadlynaughter Ben Tripp’s new novel is out.

    Sweet! His first one was ridiculously good.

  92. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:09

    Cool. Bad Religion does Xmas songs.

    A certain Zombie that used to hang around here recently posted that at his place. It was a video with that as the soundtrack to a speeded-up video of a choir that matched it perfectly. Alas and alack, the video no longer works. Such are the ways of the yoot oobs.

  93. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:11

    Made an album to share with folks, mainly for my reddit buds. Here we are, past and present and in between. http://imgur.com/a/9Yd4z

  94. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:18

    Here we are, past and present and in between.

    D’awww! Totes McGotes adorbs.

  95. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:18

    Of fuck off already! WaPOOP art critic decries Portland Art Museum for displaying a work of art.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/style-blog/wp/2013/12/17/portland-brings-the-francis-bacon/?tid=hpModule_5fb4f58a-8a7a-11e2-98d9-3012c1cd8d1e&hpid=z11

    While it is encouraging that whoever purchased the painting understands the importance of public access to art, the museum shouldn’t be tacitly endorsing the judgments of the art market. While the work is an important one in Bacon’s career, and is an interesting painting to be sure, the only reason the Portland Art Museum would scramble to arrange its exhibition is because it has also become notorious. Existentially, its status changed when it became the world’s supposedly “most expensive painting.” It is now famous for being expensive, rather like some people are famous for being famous. It is an identity that will, for many visitors, overwhelm whatever expressive value is in the painting itself. Museums should further looking, not gawking.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

  96. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:28

    That’s a really weird thing for a conservative paper to be writing about. You’d think they’d be all over judging art solely by its monetary value (not that I believe that’s what the museum is doing in the first place)? I mean FREE MARKET BITCHEZ! Did somebody slip some LSD into their water cooler or something?

  97. Smut Clyde said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:48

    the only reason the Portland Art Museum would scramble to arrange its exhibition is because it has also become notorious. Existentially, its status changed when it became the world’s supposedly “most expensive painting.” It is now famous for being expensive, rather like some people are famous for being famous. It is an identity that will, for many visitors, overwhelm whatever expressive value is in the painting itself
    Feckin art hipsters. Oh noes, people might want to admire this painting, therefore BAD MUSEUM

  98. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:51

    Wait, didn’t the whole Lewinsky debacle end with Clinton walking away battered but undefeated while his accusers ended with egg on their faces and resembling a bunch of hypocritical jackanapes?

  99. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:52

    OMG it’s Mr. Barnes of the Barnes collection, making sure nobody looks at art except in the right way.

  100. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:53

    http://imgur.com/a/9Yd4z

    It’s fine if ONE person in a couple is better-looking than I am, but TWO is an affront.

  101. El Manquécito said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:56

    Lookin’ good while you bring down western civilization there PeeJ.

  102. El Manquécito said,

    December 18, 2013 at 1:59

    Mr Barnes, he dead.

  103. A Sadlynaught said,

    December 18, 2013 at 2:48

    Pupienus and spouse are a handsome couple.

  104. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 18, 2013 at 3:17

    We’ll be here all week, try the veal, it’s cruelty-free.

  105. Suezboo said,

    December 18, 2013 at 3:33

    Aww, Pups, you two so cute !
    I think it may be blasphemy to photobomb the Pope. though.
    “I don’t want a pickle……”

  106. Major Kong said,

    December 18, 2013 at 3:53

    It’s fine if ONE person in a couple is better-looking than I am, but TWO is an affront.

    Painfully good looking.

  107. VCarlson said,

    December 18, 2013 at 4:47

    I always thought Dan Quayle was the first, they just couldn’t get him elected.

    Huh. I’d forgotten about Mr. Quayle. OK. How ’bout the nasty little frat boy being the first successful deliberate empty suit?

  108. J Neo Marvin said,

    December 18, 2013 at 4:54

    Not exactly news that haters skew Republican.

  109. Major Kong said,

    December 18, 2013 at 5:04

    IIRC – The main reason Dan Quayle was on the ticket in 1988 was that Bush Sr. wasn’t seen as reliably conservative enough.

    He had coined the phrase “Voodoo Economics” to describe Reagan’s supply-side theories.

    Quayle was there to “balance” the ticket.

  110. bbkf said,

    December 18, 2013 at 6:24

    D’awww! Totes McGotes adorbs

    totes mcgotes AND cray cray adorbs! it’s always awesome to see lovely couples in love…

    also, too…ver, ver excited about the new ben trip novel…normally not a zombie fan, but enjoyed the first one immensely…the boy’s got a gift beyond spengling the dampniche…

  111. Whale Chowder said,

    December 18, 2013 at 9:07

    Nice piccies, Pup. Thanks for sharing.

    New Tripp novel already downloDead to iPad. About to take a trip(p) and the reading material is welcome.

    Also, too, it is natural to check out attractive persons. I haven’t seen any proposed legislation banning that…am I missing something or is this the usual scree!? Seems like urging respect and subtlety isn’t that odious.

  112. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:09

    Nor is he without an argument when we reflect on America’s embrace of abortion on demand, homosexual marriage, pornography, promiscuity, and the whole panoply of Hollywood values.

    Every one of these other than gay marriage was a thing in the Reagan era too.

    Would I have been “without argument” to call Reagan’s America “the focus of evil in the modern world?”

    Why not? Did the simple addition of gay marriage tip the scales so drastically? Or is there some other reason?

  113. Some guy said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:15

    Everyone who gives a shit what Pennis says, raise their hand…?

    Um, hello?

    Anybody?

    No?

    Well, I guess Pennis is totally wasting his time coming here when he could be studying rocket science or something….

  114. El Manquécito said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:16

    Ah yes, the trollz are holed up (heh!) in their pillow fort redoubts hurling nerfballs at each other. It’s like Beau Geste only not so beau.

  115. El Manquécito said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:19

    Completely removed from the topic; I found this strangely affective.

  116. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:22

    Reagan pointed the way, of course, and was probably a happy accident for them, but Reagan had political dreams before the kingmakers.

    Really? Everything we know about Reagan says that he left all the governing in the hands of his cabinet and was happy to just be the grinning face of the whole enterprise. (Then of course there was the descent into Alzheimer’s…) If Reagan had “political dreams,” I suspect they mostly consisted of “being president.” Which was probably just another variation of one of his Hollywood roles to him.

    (Can’t remember where I read it, but I also remember reading about a group of super-rich West Coast businessmen who picked Reagan in the sixties and decided to make him basically their joint venture into politics. They justified it with “wouldn’t you rather have a president owned by people like us, who have worked in the real world and risen to the top, than some scumbag who’s worked his entire life in politics and doesn’t know anything outside of that nasty, deceitful business?” – meaning LBJ).

    All that to say that, yeah, I always thought Reagan was the first empty suit. Bush’s was just a little emptier.

  117. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:27

    Reminds me of a blast from the past:

    The reason I love that post is that it so perfectly describes the… Republican reaction. “Great Conservative Freakout” is pretty much the story of our politics from that day onwards.

    Actually, it describes the reaction to 2012 even more perfectly than 2008. In 2008, at least enough of them could see the writing on the wall, and they were in that unsweet spot where even they were burned out on Bush, but they didn’t yet have a teabagger movement to believe in. 2012, though… every one of them was absolutely certain that everyone hated Obama as much as they did and that the whole thing was in the bag. The shock and denial that poured forth that evening (all the way to the top, witness Karl Rove) was a sight for sore eyes.

  118. El Manquécito said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:32

    The shock and denial that poured forth that evening (all the way to the top, witness Karl Rove) was a sight for sore eyes.

    I was driving Maine to Georgia that night and listened to the radio all night long; set a new personal best, 1240 miles, 23 1/2 hours straight. Good times.

  119. Anonydennis said,

    December 18, 2013 at 17:54

    Well, I looked at my watch it was nine twenty one
    ’twas at a snark blog havin’ nothin’ but fun.
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was nine thirty-two,
    So I linked to Dead Breitbart as if it was true.
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was nine forty-three,
    And wondered why nobody gives a shit about me.
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was nine fifty-four,
    I said, “Waaah waaah Obamacare, no no no”
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was ten o-five,
    Man, I wish Ronald Reagan was still alive!
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was ten twenty-six,
    But I’m a keep on trollin’ till I got my kicks!
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, it was ten twenty-eight,
    I gotta link to Newsbusters before it gets too late!
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

    Well, I looked at my watch, and it was time to go,
    Cerberus said, “We ain’t playin’ no mo’ ! ”
    I was trollin’ whinin’ and a-smirkin’.
    I was trollin’ and a-whinin’ and a-smirkin’ till the break of dawn

  120. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:04

    That’s the funny thing about the ignorant and self-righteous; thanks to the lack of self-consciousness and doubt in their existences, their lives can often be quite good indeed. Of course, everyone else around them is miserable, but still. . .

  121. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:12

    If by “a conspiracy theory blog that can’t be documented,” you mean Holmes Tuttle’s interviewed admission that he and other businessmen went out and found Reagan and convinced him to run, and the subsequent justification –

    Would you rather vote for a candidate who has spent his life in politics, has never really worked for a living, or created jobs in the private sector while clawing his way to the top and who is beholden to many other politicians for his success in Washington? Or would you rather have a candidate who is backed by very successful capitalists who have created dozens of companies and tens of thousands of jobs, people who know what it takes to attain success within our system?
    http://wais.stanford.edu/Politics/politics_presidentreagan.htm
    http://www.nytimes.com/1989/06/17/obituaries/holmes-tuttle-83-in-kitchen-cabinet-that-aided-reagan.html

    … then I would say you’ve got me fair and square.

    (Yeah, yeah, I know. Stanford is a liberal plot, because college is a liberal plot).

  122. Major Kong said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:22

    I know. Stanford is a liberal plot, because college education is a liberal plot

    Fixed.

  123. jim the heretical anti-animism shaman said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:32

    Here we are, past and present and in between.

    Splendid!

    Also too: I just made the mistake of RTFA … oh dear. Nothing but Grade D mush.

    Yes, progressives are the ones with the authoritarian streak – not the nice folks who’re bravely defending your freedom to have the Ten Commandments carved into your local City Hall, on your dime … or be free of the malevolent tyranny of access to basic heath services … or enjoy the freedom of life under an unelected elite of Culture Mullahs deciding which art is tasteful enough to be funded or even merely exhibited in public … or make sure your kids are free from the fascism of learning Biology 101.

  124. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:38

    I know. Stanford is a liberal plot, because college education reality is a liberal plot

    Fixed back at you.

  125. Anonymous said,

    December 18, 2013 at 18:55

    I always thought Reagan was the first empty suit. Bush’s was just a little emptier

    The first’s suit was empty save for a cine screen. The second’s suit held vacuum.

  126. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:01

    BEGUN, THE CLONE WAR HAS!

  127. Pupienus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:01

    Not stupendously awesome but Obama naming Billie Jean King to the Olympic opening ceremony delegation is a sweet poke in Putin’s eye with a stick.

  128. bbkf said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:24

    also brian boitano…and for the closing, caitlin cahow…

  129. VCarlson said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:37

    Reagan pointed the way, of course, and was probably a happy accident for them, but Reagan had political dreams before the kingmakers.

    Really? Everything we know about Reagan says that he left all the governing in the hands of his cabinet and was happy to just be the grinning face of the whole enterprise. (Then of course there was the descent into Alzheimer’s…) If Reagan had “political dreams,” I suspect they mostly consisted of “being president.” Which was probably just another variation of one of his Hollywood roles to him.

    You’re right – I was thinking of Reagan’s activities in SAG as the indication of a previous interest in politics. He sure was doing as he was told by the time he was Governor (I remember my mom pointing it out to me at the time). And he seemed to enjoy his role, which he played about as well as you could expect for a B-movie actor. The nasty little fratboy, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have even minimal acting skills, so it was pretty obvious to anyone who cared to look (this excludes the Beltway press and the Village by definition, of course) that Junior was uncomfortable in the role (he struck me as sullen), and only enjoyed the bullying.

  130. VCarlson said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:44

    Not stupendously awesome but Obama naming Billie Jean King to the Olympic opening ceremony delegation is a sweet poke in Putin’s eye with a stick.

    Also, as Rachel Maddow pointed out last night on her show, the head of the delegation is not particularly high ranking. Not a former President, nor the VP, nor even a member of the Cabinet. I do wonder if Napolitano’s former position as head of DHS is kind of a homage to Putin’s KGB history (I never liked that “Homeland” – it’s just too close to “Fatherland” for me).

  131. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:49

    2012, though… every one of them was absolutely certain that everyone hated Obama as much as they did and that the whole thing was in the bag.

    Why wouldn’t you believe all the people you were paying to tell you everything was great?

  132. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:51

    Not stupendously awesome but Obama naming Billie Jean King to the Olympic opening ceremony delegation is a sweet poke in Putin’s eye with a stick.

    Billie Jean King is also amazingly charitable and kind in a way that wins people over. Not just a poke in the eye, but an appointment of a wonderful spokesperson for equity of any kind you’d care to name.

  133. CRA said,

    December 18, 2013 at 20:58

    I think the Good Life (any variant) would involve very little trolling, particularly concern trolling of others about their qualities-of-life. (Speaking as one who’s trolled, and lived, and feels that time is ever more short.)

    I could be wrong — no accounting for taste — but I’d sooner have a dung beetle for a restaurant critic than a natural troll as judge of la dolce vita.

  134. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 21:03

    I do wonder if Napolitano’s former position as head of DHS is kind of a homage to Putin’s KGB history

    I hadn’t considered that. You may be right.

  135. Chris said,

    December 18, 2013 at 21:07

    The nasty little fratboy, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have even minimal acting skills, so it was pretty obvious to anyone who cared to look (this excludes the Beltway press and the Village by definition, of course) that Junior was uncomfortable in the role (he struck me as sullen), and only enjoyed the bullying.

    True enough.

    I certainly think they got lazier from one generation to the next, although I see that more in the campaign style. You saw it with Sarah Palin half-assing her way through all of 2008 and then not even bothering to finish her term. You saw it double with Romney’s entire stiff-assed performance. George W. Bush might have not given a shit about any other part of the presidency, but at least you got the sense that he liked going out and “pressing the flesh” with the crowds. Romney was never comfortable with it, and what really came out when you heard his family talk was that they absolutely did not like having to put themselves on display for the nasty peons and pretending to care about their opinions. Hence “we’ve released all you’re going to get and it’s all you need to know!” and other outbursts.

    There’s just this belief in their world that Reagan re-sanctified the White House as Permanent Republican Ground, and darn it, they shouldn’t have to work this hard to keep it.

  136. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 18, 2013 at 21:10

    When Denny mentioned ‘the good life’, did anybody else think about ‘It’s a *Good* Life’, with the evil mutant kid who’d think anyone who didn’t do what he liked into the cornfield, or was that just me?

  137. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 18, 2013 at 21:41

    I think the Good Life (any variant) would involve very little trolling, particularly concern trolling of others about their qualities-of-life.

    There is definitely no trolling in this variant of the Good Life.

  138. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 18, 2013 at 22:55

    Why are all my posts being deleted???

    It’s a new rule: No more posts from people living in their garage in East Bumfucking Toad Gliblip.

  139. Hot Jazz Murder Music said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:06

    Jeez, Dennis is in the process of metamorphosing into an Iago or Hannibal Lecter over here; or whatever the conservative internet troll equivalent of such a thing might be.

  140. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:17

    The Good Life.

  141. kg said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:20

    The Good Life

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEKEjpTzB0Q

  142. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:22

    This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with oral fixation.

  143. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:42

    The Good Life

  144. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:43

    The Good Life

  145. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 18, 2013 at 23:56

    The reason Duck Dynasty has made such a powerful impact on culture, is that people are hungry for a return to the simple life, and sick of living a life of politically correct inauthenticity.

  146. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:01

    you weren’t even an ogle in your father’s eye when your version of america was rejected…

  147. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:03

    Different versions of America are simply different perceptions, and different perspectives, all depending on one’s vantage point. All I know is that a growing number of people are tired of the BS.

  148. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:04

    The reason Duck Dynasty has made such a powerful impact on culture, is that people are hungry for a return to the simple life, and sick of living a life of politically correct inauthenticity.

    ah, yes…nothing says ‘simple life’ like multi-million dollar mcmansions, big boy toys and the bling…especially since they have made most of their money not by making duck calls, but from television and having their hairy faces plastered on anything that’s not moving…

  149. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:08

    Yes, one has to admire their commercial savvy, but the bling and big boy toys are not really apart of why this show is so successful. People can find that watching rap videos. It’s the hillbilly simplicity that people are projecting onto the characters, whether its reality-based on not. It allows them to vicariously experience the existential essence of that simplicity.

  150. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:11

    i always thought it was because they were a little better looking than the swamp people…

  151. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:12

    Have mercy. Troglodytes are people too.

  152. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:13

    The good sandwich doctor is angling for a reality-based show about the “Bakersfield sound.” He’d fit right in.

  153. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:15

    What are you, Oregon Beer Snob? Some sort of mind-reader? If so, you’re a good one. You nailed it.

  154. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:16

    just had a conversation with a co-worker that i found a bit…off-putting:

    first she informed me that her husband (who has not had a job since i’ve known him) went down to the food shelf to pick up the christmas food box…later in the conversation, she started in on how young people today…! even though she’s younger than me…anyhoo, kids today are lazy…nobody wants to work…even her own daughter is lazy! her own daughter is developmentally disabled and is not enrolled in any sort of work program, so the daughter is being lazy, how? and, this will come as a bit of a shock, but…she does NOT like obama…

  155. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:19

    mmmmmmmm…beeeeeeer…blts…

  156. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:22

    OBS is an eerie one. Often I will be thinking about beer, and out of nowhere he’s on that topic.

  157. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:23

    Lazy is a disparaging term, and a pejorative one—-one that assumes the motives of the individual being prematurely labeled as “lazy.” We cannot assume that what we’re observing is true laziness. It could simply mean that the will to act is being blocked. Lack of motivation to act has multiple possible sources. Laziness is only one of those multiple possible sources.

  158. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:23

    OBS is an eerie one. Often I will be thinking about beer, and out of nowhere he’s on that topic.

    i know! it’s almost like he’s got a gift of some sort…

  159. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:24

    mmmmmmmm…beeeeeeer…blts…

    “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.”

  160. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:26

    she’s the one that said lazy, not me…her husband has some sort of heart condition and also, i don’t think he’s really cognitively able to much of anything…the wife and mom is the brains of the operation and that’s not much to go on…so we have two adults who cannot cope on their own and they have two special needs kids…yet, she voices her opinion’s quite loudly about how others are doin’ it wrong! you just gotta love it…

  161. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:26

    Please bbkf, I know you’re trying to use this as a segway to promote my new original Christmas songs on iTunes, but, believe it or not, I don’t want to sell any songs. I treasure my image as an underground, underdawg, deemed by the superficial of this world to be an abysmal failure. I do appreciate the props, however.

  162. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:26

    Laziness is only one of those multiple possible sources.

    Oooh, is it Thetans? It’s gotta be Thetans!

    [/tomcruise]

  163. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:27

    Jeez, Dennis is in the process of metamorphosing into an Iago or Hannibal Lecter over here; or whatever the conservative internet troll equivalent of such a thing might be.

    He has neither the talent nor the ambition of either. He’s just the kind of jackass that brings an air horn to a concert and is confused when people don’t like it.

  164. tigris said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:29

    It’s the hillbilly simplicity that people are projecting onto the characters, whether its reality-based on not.

    So people aren’t sick of inauthenticity, then?

  165. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:30

    trying to use this as a segway

  166. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:30

    I know you’re trying to use this as a segway to promote my new original Christmas songs on iTunes,

    If you’re using a Segway© to promote stuff on iTunes ur doin it rong.

  167. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:30

    Often when I am thinking of pornography I go on the internet and THERE IT IS.

    Spooky.

  168. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:32

    I know you’re trying to use this as a segway

    oh no way, no how are you going to trick me into getting on one of those things! i have trouble enough staying upright…

    He’s just the kind of jackass that brings an air horn to a concert and is confused when people don’t like it.

    this is basically what sam seder tells patrick hawley about his i can’t look at boobies anymore tantrum…

  169. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:32

    So people aren’t sick of inauthenticity, then?

    this explains sooooooo much…

  170. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:33

    Often when I am thinking of pornography I go on the internet and THERE IT IS.

    well for dog’s sake i hope you aren’t looking at it…don’t you know there’s some sort of progressive poopyhead law about that?!

  171. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:34

    Just for the record (no pun intended), I have not paid Oregon Beer Snob a single penny for all of this original-Dr-BLT-Christmas-song pimping. He must simply be a devoted fan, one of the few—with extremely high IQs. That being said, let’s get back to the subject at hand.

  172. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:35

    Often when I am thinking of pornography I go on the internet and THERE IT IS.

    Beer Pron.

    I had one of these recently and OMFG IS IT FUCKING GOOD HOLY SHIT!

    [ahem]

    I mean, do try it if you get the chance.

  173. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:36

    also, everyone knows that this is the proper way to promot a segway…

  174. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:37

    I’ve been arguing for years that authenticity is overrated, especially in the arts. I don’t care if you’re the real deal, or sincere, or any of that. Make something that makes me glad I’m alive for awhile. If you mean it, I suppose that’s icing, but I won’t be the one asking that sort of question.

  175. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:38

    result in a harmonious and well-balanced beer, full of unexpected and complex aromas.

    sometimes hubbkf is also full of unexpected and complex aromas…

  176. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:38

    I don’t care if you’re the real deal, or sincere, or any of that.

    Note: does not apply to pumpkin patches.

  177. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:41

    CRA, for once, I agree with you, but only if you weren’t being sarcastic. Coming to think of it, I’ve never disgreed with you before. Never mind.

  178. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:44

    I wasn’t being sarcastic, Doc.

  179. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:48

    Then we’re in full agreement. There’s a time for keeping it real, and a time for keeping it superficial.

  180. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:49

    and there’s a time for keepiing it real superficial…

  181. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:49

    and there’s a time for keepiing it real superficial…

    bbkf brings it right back to porn.

  182. Some guy said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:50

    He’s just the kind of jackass that brings an air horn to a concert and is confused when people don’t like it.

    And farts loudly on the bus, and when people look at him, says “WHAT?”

  183. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:50

    Well-stated bbkf.

  184. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:51

    Make something that makes me glad I’m alive for awhile.

    I hear “Mama’s Not Dead, She’s Only Sleeping” and it’s like the sun has broken through the clouds.

  185. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:52

    Well-stated bbkf.

    i might put that on a shirt…or a pillow…or maybe not…

  186. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:53

    bbkf brings it right back to porn.

    isn’t that the point?

  187. El Manquécito said,

    December 19, 2013 at 0:55

    OBS; Moinette has always been one of my favorite beers, I’ll have to look for Bons Veaux.

  188. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 1:07

    Whether it’s beer, or breasts, it still comes down to oral fixation. Once again, nothing to do with politics, per se.

  189. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 1:08

    OBS; Moinette has always been one of my favorite beers, I’ll have to look for Bons Veaux.

    You’ll love it. Dupont makes wonderful beer. The “standard” Saison Dupont is one of my all time favorites.

  190. Dr BLT's Ghost of Christmas Past said,

    December 19, 2013 at 1:13

    If conservatives and liberals would just sit down together and enjoy a good Dupont beer, they could end the war on Christmas once and for all. In fact, I’m going to do just that as we approach this season of peace. Cheers! Merry Christmas! Why can’t we all just get a song?

  191. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:14

    I do miss frequently traveling to Belgium on business. At the London trade show my friends from the Belgian company would bring out kegs of Belgian beer to close the show every day. Good folks, them.

  192. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:16

    It happens every Christmas season and yet I am always surprised. A blue tin of Danish butter cookies just got opened and inside it were Danish butter cookies.

  193. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:30

    it’s a christmas miracle!

  194. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:33

    There’s a christmas miracle every year in our house. I have no idea how the bourbon gets in the eggnog – I don’t put it in there. There must be an angel looking over me. It happens EVERY DAY!

  195. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:40

    GET PICTURES! we have not seen orbs in a long while…

  196. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 2:49

    War on Xmas.

  197. Major Kong said,

    December 19, 2013 at 3:08

    Here’s a picture of the Duck Dynasty people before they had the TV show.
    It’s about as real as professional wrestling. No, actually professional wrestling is more real.

    What they looked like before

  198. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 3:33

    Here’s a picture of the Duck Dynasty people before they had the TV show.

    no freaking way!

  199. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 3:41

    It’s like Fred Allen said, “Once you can fake sincerity, you can make it in Hollywood”.

  200. El Manquécito said,

    December 19, 2013 at 3:42

    It’s about as real as professional wrestling Larry the Cable Guy.

  201. Pupienus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 4:28

    Teh Ho ordered a Xmas hat for Bagoas from pajamagram.com (Always wondered how that NPR underwriter managed to make a sustainable business from “pajamas sent by mail”). You can include a card. It read “who’s a good boy? Are you a good boy? Yes you are! Daddies wuv you.”

    Tell me again why I married a loon.

  202. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 4:55

    Tell me again why I married a loon.

    opposites attract? the pajamagram thing has always boggled me as well…i figure our country really isn’t that bad off when there are entire sectors of the population that buys matching christmas jammies for the entire family including spot and fluff…it’s freaking crazy is what it is…

  203. Some Prestonian Evening said,

    December 19, 2013 at 5:24

    If conservatives and liberals would just sit down together and enjoy a good Dupont beer, they could end the war on Christmas once and for all.

    I hear that O’Really declared that his side WON the War on Xbox. So I now expect him and everyone else to shut the everlovin’ fuck UP about it.
    .

  204. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 6:04

    So I now expect him and everyone else to shut the everlovin’ fuck UP about it.

    your naivete and optimism are utterly charming…when has bill ever stfu about anything?

  205. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 6:07

    oh…also, if any of you have checked out the linky i linked upthread, the patrick hawley takedown starts at about the 14:40 mark…it’s okay for rush to call sandra fluke a slut, but not okay for ‘progressives’ to get mad about it and boycott his advertisers…it’s also bad, bad, bad to change any of the laws the founders set out…his rationale is that if it was legal then, it should be legal now…srsly…he says this and doubles and triples down on it…

    whoever this sam seder is, he was really quite restrained through the entire interview…

  206. jim the heretical anti-animism shaman said,

    December 19, 2013 at 6:46

    SHOCKING NEWS*!
    _______________________________________________

    * ( … if you’ve been in a coma since 1978)

    OTOH, I’m sure Ted Cruz & all his fellow Banjostan Visigoths are VERY UPSET by these terrible developments!

  207. Smut Clyde said,

    December 19, 2013 at 7:52

    Badmouth the Good Life and you are badmouthing Felicity Kendal in her heyday and you will come to regret it. Until then, IBIMB.

  208. Smut Clyde said,

    December 19, 2013 at 7:56

    War on Xmas.

    It’s a holiday in Albania!

  209. Smut Clyde said,

    December 19, 2013 at 8:01

    Promoting the Segway.

  210. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 9:23

    whoever this sam seder is

    He used to be part of Air America, a radio project that tried and failed to get radio hosts like him on AM stations across the county.

    I’ve seen him on various MSNBC nightly programs. He’s quietly professional, and very intelligent. A Bizarro Bill O’Reilly, if you will.

  211. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 16:08

    Who cares about dick calls?

  212. bughunter said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:03

    If they’re anything like booty calls, I’m sure there are some who do…

  213. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:11

    In other news, I today is my 40th birthday.

  214. El Manquécito said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:19

    Have a good one 77.

  215. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:20

    See what happens when a dick call is activated?

  216. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:24

    In other news, I today is my 40th birthday.

    happy birfday, youngster!

  217. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:26

    Oh, to be 45 again. I have my 55th in less than 2 months.

  218. Major Kong said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:28

    See what happens when a dick call is activated?

    It’s like the Bat Signal?

  219. Major Kong said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:29

    In other news, I today is my 40th birthday.

    Get off my lawn kid.

  220. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 17:59

    Happy birfday! Ya punk.

  221. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 18:31

    If I were like a certain unwanted commenter, I would present this as evidence that all conservatives are fat pedos. But I’m not like ____ so I’ll just say that between McConnell’s chief of staff and now this guy it seems conservatives must be a big part of the kiddie porn black market.

  222. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 18:57

    A dick call would be somethin’ you blow into, that mimics the sound a dick makes in its natural environment?

    Dick Dynasty: niche porno featuring bearded protagonists setting aside shotguns

  223. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:02

    Dork Dynasty about a family of nerds that makes artisinal slide rules?

  224. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:03

    Dunk Dynasty about a very tall doughnut mogul’s family and love of basketball?

  225. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:09

    Forty, huh. Congratulations, I guess.

    When I was a teenager, 28 was a meaningful number for me, because that’s the age Jimi Hendrix died at (or so I thought/think). And it seemed impossibly old, at one time!

    Now that I’m 42.5, my portentous number is 48, since my father OD’d at that age.

    At this point I’ve played guitar alot longer than Jimi ever had a chance to … and I stand a decent chance at a longer lifespan than dad, if I behave myself.

  226. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:11

    derp dynasty about a family of beardedyet business savvy good old boys featuring a playful mix of family, work ethics, catchphrases, values and jeebus…oh, wait…

  227. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:12

    Damn … I’ve been playing guitar longer than Jimi Hendrix lived … I should sound better by now.

  228. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:16

    pupi…i’m making knoephla soup again this year for xmas eve…what would be a good sammie or other bread-like pairing?

  229. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:20

    I’d like to get a guitar and learn to play, I will see if I can make that happen once the holiday season is over. Since my knee injury means I won’t be skiing this season, I need something to make the winter move a little faster.

  230. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:22

    Donk Dynasty about a prosperous family of car mechanics who put oversized wheels and chrome on four door sedans from the eighties.

  231. bughunter said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:45

    A dick call would be somethin’ you blow into, that mimics the sound a dick makes in its natural environment?

    Then I don’t think I want to know what a booty call sounds like.

    Or how it operates.

    PS – Felice Compleanos, ami. I won’t be skiing this season either, after getting a couple vertebrae fused.

  232. Major Kong said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:47

    i’m making knoephla soup again this year for xmas eve

    I had to look that one up. I don’t do a lot of German cooking.

  233. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:47

    The fact is, Frosty is white. Get over it, rascist libs.

  234. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:48

    CRA, Jimi Hendrix was one of those rare geniuses such that falling short of his performance skills is nothing to be ashamed of. If he had perfect pitch and you don’t, for instance, that’s just how the cosmic dice roll sometimes.

    I’ll never be the performer that Artur Rubinstein was as a pianist, I’m a shitty sight-reader, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy myself when put the headphones on, hit the harpsichord button, and play something by J. S. Bach in 2 or 3 voices.

    Try playing some music you wouldn’t normally play, for a change of pace, or see if there’s a teacher in your area who gives lessons at an affordable rate. Nothing wrong with getting help or trying to stretch yourself a little.

  235. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:49

    I don’t do a lot of German cooking.

    They’re hard to find and really tough unless you marinade them first.

  236. Major Kong said,

    December 19, 2013 at 19:59

    Frosty is white

    He’s yellow after the dogs have been around.

  237. kg said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:06

    If he had perfect pitch and you don’t, for instance, that’s just how the cosmic dice roll sometimes.

    zat you Mayor Bloomberg?

  238. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:20

    Knoephla soup is a meal in itself. The way I make it it is, anyway. Have you considered a salad to go with? If you must have something sammy like, how about open faced – lox on toast points (or pumpernickel) with capers, red onion, maybe some cream cheese and a sprig of dill. That keeps it Scandahoovianish. Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, make lefse wraps. Swedish meatballs, gjetost sauce plus sweet & sour red cabbage. Cured salmon (cure with akvavit FTW), dill creme fraiche, cress, maybe some slices of pickled shallot.

    Is Herr Doktor drooling? In the anticipation of food way, not your regular everyday drool.

  239. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:21

    Try playing some music you wouldn’t normally play, for a change of pace, or see if there’s a teacher in your area who gives lessons at an affordable rate. Nothing wrong with getting help or trying to stretch yourself a little.

    Yeah I will be back into it in the new year.

  240. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:21

    He’s yellow after the dogs have been around.

    Mmmmm, makes me think of St. Alfonso’s pancake breakfast.

  241. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:29

    zat you Mayor Bloomberg?

    I don’t have perfect pitch either, but it doesn’t matter so much unless you’re into tuning pianos, as my great-grandfather did for a living over a century ago.

  242. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:36

    Mmmmm, makes me think of St. Alfonso’s pancake breakfast.

    Speaking of music, I went to a concert last night. Some of you might enjoy my writeup. [/blahgwhore]

  243. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:52

    Bravo, OBS. We appreciate your service there, on the front lines.

  244. CRA said,

    December 19, 2013 at 20:59

    I certify that when I made my Dick Dynasty joke, I had not yet seen Big Bad Bald Bastard’s over at Alicublog, nor any of the others, anywhere, that it occurs to me must surely exist.

  245. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 21:11

    Bravo, OBS. We appreciate your service there, on the front lines.

    Thanks, it was a rough night.

  246. jim the heretical anti-animism shaman said,

    December 19, 2013 at 21:14

    Happy 40, Helmut!

    If only I was 40 again … back when it really was still just a number.
    Heh.

  247. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 19, 2013 at 21:33

    I don’t do a lot of German cooking.

    They’re hard to find and really tough unless you marinade them first.

    Austrians are more tender. Must be all that Viennese pastry.

  248. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 19, 2013 at 21:42

    Austrians are more tender. Must be all that Viennese pastry.

    ‘Specailly the Austrian Economists. They’re really squishy.

  249. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 22:04

    Knoephla soup is a meal in itself. The way I make it it is, anyway. Have you considered a salad to go with?

    it is indeed a hardy one…a salad would be most excellent…and will have some rye or pumpernickel on the side for the f.i.l…soooooo, you’ve made the knoephla soup before…care to share your recipe? mine’s kind of generic and i’m always on the lookout for something better…also, your recipes are a hoot to read…

  250. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 22:14

    german cookery…it’s not what you think it is…

  251. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 22:43

    ‘Specailly the Austrian Economists. They’re really squishy.

    OBS watched them go bad. He had Hayek spectations.

  252. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 22:47

    german cookery…it’s not what you think it is…

    Based on a true story

  253. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 22:58

    Based on a true story

    well, thank you for the nightmares, mr.!

  254. tigris said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:01

    And I’d like the recipe for the pickled shallots, please.

  255. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:05

    New Mexico hops on the marriage equality bandwagon. I hesitate to use the snowball metaphor but there it is.

  256. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:06

    1. Take some shallots
    2. Pickle them

  257. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:09

    1. Take some shallots

    Liberals TAKE TAKE TAKE.

  258. tigris said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:09

    Yes, but how much liquor can they hold? Are we talking cheap date territory or me under the table territory?

  259. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:10

    holy crap…the wind up here today will rip your face off…

  260. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:11

    I haven’t made the soup in some while. When I make something only once in a couple years I usually google up some recipes, take the best parts of each, then apply my own spin.

    This pickled shallots receipt looks about right. I don’t can them, I make small batches as needed. You can do the same thing with onions for topping pulled pork sammies (or whatever).

  261. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:18

    New Mexico hops on the marriage equality bandwagon. I hesitate to use the snowball metaphor but there it is.

    Use the cold war ‘domino theory’ metaphor instead. When one state falls to big gay, the surrounding states are more likely to fall in turn.

  262. tigris said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:22

    Thanks, Pupi, those look good as well as easy.

  263. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:24

    No word on whether he had a rent boy there lifting his luggage.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/preacher-found-dead-times-square-hotel-overdosed-article-1.1552940

  264. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:41

    I haven’t made the soup in some while. When I make something only once in a couple years I usually google up some recipes, take the best parts of each, then apply my own spin.

    yeah, that’s what i do too…but i don’t know what i did last time…so, i will re-create! you could send me a recipe anyhow just because they are so amusing, though…

  265. bbkf said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:45

    oy…teh facebook is full of the gheys are trampling phil robertson’s right to free speech dipshittery…

  266. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:47

    A preacher found dead in a Times Square hotel in 2011 succumbed to an accidental overdose of cocaine and heroin, the medical examiner’s office said Thursday.

    This is why you don’t put money in the collection plate: poor guys’ll just spend it on heroin.

    Buy them a sandwich if you want to do something nice.

  267. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 19, 2013 at 23:57

    Buy them a sandwich if you want to do something nice.

    If only Cass Elliot had given that sandwich to Karen Carpenter.

  268. The Dark God of Time, AKA DA® said,

    December 20, 2013 at 0:10

    The Brother Al mentioned here died of alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver in a hotel room in San Francisco some 4 decades ago.

    We marveled at the number of times an air-sucking preacher – without blinking, hesitating, or even having second thoughts – could slip his name and mailing address into his sermon.

    Brother Al, Post Office Box 536, Fredonia, California, had no equal.

    Then.

    Or now.

    In six minutes, he had given us his name and address seven times without missing a beat or catching his breath.

    On air, somewhere within the shadows of XERF, Ciudad Acuna, he began to pray for a poor man afflicted with a crippling disease. He said, as the choir hummed softly in the background, “Lord, I’m placing my hands on this dear brother. Lord, honor these hands. These hands belong to Brother Al, Post Office Box 536, Fredonia, California.”

    And the night was as dark as it had been in a long time. The road rolled on forever, long and straight. And the skies crackled with lightning from XERF. You could almost smell the sulphur in the air.

    http://venturegalleries.com/blog/religious-pitchmen-of-radio/

  269. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 20, 2013 at 0:30

    That had better be a pretty awesome sandwich, to be considered nice when compared to heroin.

    Also too, happy birthday Helmut.

  270. bbkf said,

    December 20, 2013 at 0:39

    i guess only if you consider being ‘christian’ as being judgemental on who’s going to heaven and who’s not…saying one group of people aren’t going to heaven because of their sexuality does not compute as ‘christian’…the only thing you need to get to heaven is a belief that jesus died on the cross for our sins…so, no, he’s not very ‘christian’…

  271. bbkf said,

    December 20, 2013 at 0:40

    damn it…

  272. Smut Clyde said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:02

    This is why you don’t put money in the collection plate: poor guys’ll just spend it on heroin.

    How about food stamps? Is it safe to transfer a small donation to the preacher’s EBT card?

  273. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:11

    So, what were the circumstances that led to a two year long delay in releasing the cause of death?

  274. bughunter said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:15

    I’d say there were two: 1) Cocaine, and 2) Heroin.

  275. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:30

    also brian boitano…and for the closing, caitlin cahow…

    And here’s a shoutout for Greg Louganis

    ——-
    Pup: My favorite was the autumn trees background. The Paris photo comes in at a close second … because of the clever background. I’m guessing the photo composition was not an accidtental….

  276. Mitt Romney said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:44

    Troglodytes are people too.

    As are corporations. Never forget, corporations are people too, my friends.

  277. bughunter said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:51

    accidtental

    I’d get that all the time when I was a young lad.

    Uncomfortable -and- embarrassing.

  278. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 1:55

    Using the Segway.

    Using the segue.

    Both work: The first requires imagination of the mechanics; the second one is erudite.

  279. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:03

    There’s a time for keeping it real, and a time for keeping it superficial.

    And a time for keeping it weird and goofy.

  280. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:18

    Promoting the Segway.

    Better verb than ‘using’, at least for manly menz.

    I am w-a-y behing on my effort to ketchup the threa.

  281. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:22

    Helmut: I remember my forties fondly. I hope you have a terrific decade!

  282. Fenwick said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:41

    rip your face off

    Band name?

  283. Cerberus said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:49

    New post out in less than a week?

    What new spore of madness is this?!?

  284. Nym said,

    December 20, 2013 at 2:54

    For the longest time I thought it was “segue way”, since I had seldom seen the word written down, and words like “plague” and “league” only have one syllable…

  285. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 20, 2013 at 3:09

    It was many years before I learned that “distingue” was a word and hence that Billy Strayhorn was an even better songwriter than I had previously thought.

  286. CRA said,

    December 20, 2013 at 3:21

    It was many years before I learned that “distingue” was a word and hence that Billy Strayhorn was an even better songwriter than I had previously thought.

    I had to read a Strayhorn biography to learn that. That writer, or some other one, called it an awkward lyric (at that point). I can’t agree. I think it fits the lyric, which is good.

    The chord progression is a bitch to improvise on, like alot of Strayhorn’s harmonies. But now that I think of it, what always happens is that I end up just playing the melody and chords together, as best I can (not very). A better thing to do than turning it into a soloing vehicle anyhow.

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