Joe Nocera, the Motherfucking New York Times:
Obama’s Bay of Pigs
I don’t know why I didn’t do this ages ago. I mean, the New York Times is a distinguished newspaper with a long track record and while their conservative pundits might be embarrassing at best, they are at least trying to look semi-coherent. For those who’ve been seeking shelter from the ever-shrinking tide of Endless Obamacare posts, this seems like a safe harbor.
Now, of course, as I write this, I haven’t done more than look over the title and I haven’t even selected my image for the post yet, but I’m sure that’s not at all a foreboding warning of what’s to come.
So what’s today’s post about anyways?
- The Obamacare rollout is exactly like the Bay of Pigs invasion. When it’s not worse.
Son of a diseased congressman.
Of course, because apparently blocking Obama from having literally any accomplishment, no matter how small, compromised, or based on old Republican wishlists is literally the only thing conservative money men care about anymore.
Trying in vain to retroactively tarnish the first black president in the hopes that it will wind back the clock and make it so it never happened and prevent it from ever happening again.
Listen, you deluded nutcases. Obama is here to stay and Obamacare is done and passed. And the longer you try and pretend that there is a massive movement of people who are furious that they can’t get ripped off anymore or that an online service on launch day is acting like an online service on launch day, or that major medical programs have a processing time thanks to all your “are you absolutely sure you’re not secretly a rich person” poor person dicking laws are some global evil on par with MechaHitler, the more you guarantee that your bankrupt philosophy will be tossed into the dustbin where the Whigs reside.
Which, on that thought, yes, keep whining about Obamacare. It’s super terrible bad and people will totally agree with you if you just repeat the same talking point another four trillion times.
Oh, and just in case you thought the shorter couldn’t actually be his entire point?
Read it and weep:
So far, at least, the implementation of the Affordable Care Act has been President Obama’s Bay of Pigs. Led to believe that the preparation for Obamacare was on track, Obama was blindsided when that turned out not to be the case. The website where people are supposed to enroll, HealthCare.gov, is a train wreck. People with individual policies saw that they were set to be canceled — and then couldn’t enroll in Obamacare because the website had collapsed. In other cases, people discovered that even the least expensive plan available to them under Obamacare cost more than their old plan. And on and on.
He makes at least a six figure salary to produce work this hacktacular. Meritocracy, bitches!
Eighteen months after the Bay of Pigs, President Kennedy was confronted with the Cuban missile crisis. Once again, the generals in the Pentagon wanted him to respond militarily, a route that was likely to lead to war with the Soviet Union. But this time, he trusted his own judgment, took a different path and defused the crisis. He had applied the lessons he had learned from the Bay of Pigs to the Cuban missile crisis.
Bay of Pigs : Obamacare :: Cuban Missile Crisis : ?
I’m going with a stuck drawer in the White House filing cabinet.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. All Your Obamacare Is Belong to Obamacare. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™