Wait, blood sacrifices… ohhhhh, oh (/Cabin in the Woods)
Mark Steyn, National Klansman:
Knockouts High and Low
Obamacare, Obamacare… And might I also note that it isn’t even fresh takes on Obamacare. It’s not oh hey, did our last bullshit not work, let’s try a new smearing of shit. Nope, it’s just a bunch of old tired fucks looking at history relegating their political party to the same dustbin that houses the Whigs and trying to yell the same three or four falsehoods as loud as they can in the hope of making reality scratch its chin and go “you know, maybe I’ve been a little harsh, you make a good point there random crazy fuck”.
Oh, are you still unable to grasp the concept that acquiring health care isn’t just a matter of putting your latest trophy wife’s elective botox injection in your Amazon cart and clicking checkout? Or that your many years of demagoguing about the eeeeeevils of people getting services they don’t actually qualify for means that there’s a lot of checks and double checks that are federally mandated before they can sign anyone up for these services?
Well gosh, I guess you win and nobody ever needs health care ever again. It’s just so utterly mind-numbingly-
Wait, is that? It couldn’t be. Could it?
Is that a single fucking post that’s finally not about goddamn Obamacare?
Hallelujah, strike up the chorus and let’s get this angel orgy started. At long last, it seems like that even the endless stamina of right-wing psychos and paid hacks might be running out on this repetitive horseshit and we might start getting some new crazy to replenish our poor neglected swamp.
So what’s this one about anyways?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- So as part of our plan to retroactively justify us gleefully celebrating the modern lynching of an unarmed black teenager by a man who has turned out to be just the violent fuck he appeared to be at first, we’ve decided to start just straight up ripping off racist conspiracies from Stormfront in the hopes of convincing our octagenarian racist white base to view black teenagers as animalistic murderers who kill defenseless old white people LIKE YOU for FUN! DUN DUN DUN! Seriously, though, this is your out for wanting to bring back lynching as your method of coping to the fact that you’re not going to erase the existence of a black president.
Oh hey, is that another completely different post that’s not about Obamacare? Let’s do that one instead*!
Paid AEI Propagandist James Pethokoukis, National Revisionist History is
a good sign of neo-nazi influencesCool:
Stop Blaming ‘Market Failure’
Ok, crossing my fingers on this one and…
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Market Forces can’t be failed, they can only be failed!
Woot, I can work with this!
Even as the American economy continues to struggle in the Great Recession’s aftermath, Americans continue to blame President George W. Bush and the Republicans for causing the worst economic catastrophe since the Great Depression.
Because they did.
It’s an understandable conclusion. The downturn began on the GOP’s watch.
Yes, immediately after they basically looted the entire government in order to “jump start” the economy by creating a lost generation of new workers and making 11+% unemployment and somewhere around 20+% underemployment the new normal by blocking any attempt to undo this shit.
Which, on that note, this is also why people don’t seem to be buying the “debt” con anymore, seeing as how it’s pretty fucking obvious that you loot the economy specifically so you can argue for eliminating any government service that doesn’t funnel money to already rich fucks who don’t need it in the name of “fixing the debt” that you didn’t care about when you were running this shit with an iron fist.
But yeah, leaving aside the way you fucks just can’t handle even a slight bit of personal responsibility for your successes in ruining the global economy, let me just note that that doesn’t actually mean the rest of us will play along with your delusions and pretend that the guy with his jeans around his ankles and squatting over the punch bowl with a growner still crowning isn’t the guy who shat at the party.
And even though Wall Street as a bastion of Republicanism is a political anachronism,
Ha ha ha ha! Oh wow, and they say that conservatives don’t have a sense of humor. That was pure fucking gol-
Oh, you were serious. My apologies. So, this bit of hilarious delusion is true because… you’ve finally learned to be embarrassed by the trust-fund parasites who’ve demanded that everybody else fund their gambling habit by pretending their favorite casino is a stand-in for the actual economy where goods and our services are sold for mad cash?
Well, congratu-fucking-lations on being the last one across the finish line, but we seem to be all out of Participation Ribbons. Maybe you should ask for one from the fuckheads you’ve been gleefully sucking off for the last 100 years or maybe just stop stroking his dick while you’re trying to pretend you’ve never had a sexual relationship.
Seriously, do these paid hacks really think they are going to convince everyone that it’s the liberals who are pro-Wall-Street?
many voters blame the housing bubble on an under-regulated financial sector whose unchecked greed eventually led to its own near demise — and then a bailout by Republican friends.
Which is hilarious, because that’s so utterly, unbelievably… accurate. It’s completely accurate… uh, look over there, scary Big Government liberals come to give money to black people!
A “market failure” led to the financial crisis and the Great Recession, say Democrats, proving once again that we need big, intrusive government.
Grrr. Government scary. Government keeps bridges from collapsing. Er, I mean, communists in the trees and scary scary making sure the fucked up Health Insurance Industry can’t legally rip you off anymore and…
Ungh. Wadda you mean the propaganda train has reached its station and it’s time to get off? I don wanna leave! No! You can’t make me! MOMMMEEEEE!
When Republicans now and in the future call for lower taxes and smaller government, Democrats have an easy counter: “We tried that with Bush in the 2000s. And look how that turned out.”
Because you were given full carte blanche without interference to pass the wishlist you always wanted and prove your horseshit. In fact, you’ve been given endless blank checks since 1980. In multiple countries in point of fact.
And every last fucking time, it’s ended with the country being gutted, the divide between rich and poor exploding, and as a final fuck you cherry on this shit sundae, a complete collapse of the economy because it turns out when you design something for a consumer economy to buy overpriced garbage, you kind of need to pay the proles enough to buy the crap.
Again, if you don’t like having to live with the consequences of the complete bankruptcy of your economic philosophy (by which I mean, it’s tendency to cause bankruptcies, I think we both know that this shit is working exactly as intended), you should fucking stop promoting it.
I know you want infinite resets so you can run this scam as much as you want, but you’re finding out, like any other sidewalk conman that you gotta refresh the game once the rubes catch on.
Sorry, dudes, I know you are allergic, but it just might be unavoidable that you’re going to have to actually do some fucking work for once in your goddamn lives**.
Republicans and conservatives heard much the same for decades after the Great Depression as the Left blamed the downturn on Wall Street speculators and unfettered markets.
So yeah, this isn’t the first fucking time that given us full unfettered access to your economy has produced a massive Depression. So I guess we should probably attempt some historical revisionism to start undoing these black marks before we begin Reagan Scam 2.0.
That explanation helped provide a rationale for the New Deal and decades of government intrusion afterward. To this day, many Americans think the Great Depression was caused by the excesses of the Roaring Twenties.
Because it was.
Again, you are complaining that despite all your best efforts to defund education to the point that everyone remains the perfect mark forever, history exists as a permanent monument to your misdeeds.
Which, to be fair, I can’t begrudge you thinking that, seeing as how you’ve successfully maneuvered us into literally repeating that shameful history, right down to the following president to the crisis not doing enough to commit to Keynesian economics and undoing the damage.
But still, I don’t think this bit of historical revisionism is going to convince anyone other than the die-hard 27%ers who, let’s be frankly honest, would rip out their own teeth and melt them into a “nourishing” gruel if you told them Jesus wanted them to do it.
Once again, I think you’re going to have to accept the consequences of your successes. You’re not actually space wizards, reality doesn’t bend and twist to your will.
Well, many Americans who aren’t economists think that.
And you wonder why “economists” (and let’s not be coy and pretend you mean anything other than Shock Doctrine Chicago School “economists” here) currently have the same reputation as that slimy used car salesman who is also running a creepy polygamist cult when he’s not dealing meth to school children.
The economic consensus today, thanks to the work of Milton Friedman and collaborator Anna Schwartz, is that monetary-policy failures by the Federal Reserve caused the Great Depression.
If we say it with a bunch of authority as if this was a settled reality and not the wishful thinking of a handful of paid AEI hacks, then that makes it true, right? Right? Please stop believing in history.
And had we not suffered through the hard times, as former Fed economist Michael Bordo has written, “we might not have had World War II, Keynesian economics, and the Great Inflation.” No Great Depression, no New Deal.
Yeah, here’s kind of an important detail you conspiracy theorists seem to miss, but um… there’s still the little problem of the economic theory you are panning actually performing the task it set out to accomplish. Unlike yours.
So let’s say that you’re right. Nazi space aliens using time traveling mind control powers and the invisible hand of the Illuminati manages to keep sabotaging your infinite tax cuts for the rich scam just at the moment that greedy rich assholes were planning on risking their financial penis substitute paying everyone (by which we of course only mean white hetero cisgender men, because let’s be honest, those are the only people you consider to be human) infinite money and blowjobs.
You still have the problem that the thing you said couldn’t possibly work, because government can’t create jobs, totally created the jobs it said it would and fixed the damage that the Shadow Proclamation caused with its Wibbley-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey stuff.
And if you try to continue the conspiracy, you still end up at the point that neither seems to be as powerful as this hidden conspiracy so maybe we should stop listening to you, seeing as how you can’t even manage to defeat a made-up conspiracy.
Just saying “it’s a conspiracy” isn’t actually an instant win button of argument affirmative action. You kinda have to prove how you are better than the alternative. With real world data.
I know, I know, if I was you, I would take the cyanide capsule too.
In 2002 Ben Bernanke, then a Fed governor,
Yesssss, put into place to be a rubber stamp for conservative economic wishlists. That’s what happens when you put true bewievers in charge of shit that matters. It all falls apart!
Also, really? You’re trying to stretch the fucking Federal Reserve into a super scary conspiracy arm of the vast government conspiracy? Bitch, please.
told Friedman and Schwartz: “You’re right, we did it. We’re very sorry. But thanks to you, we won’t do it again.” But the Fed almost did do it again — and it has been awfully kind of the GOP not to point it out. Robert Hetzel, however, has. The Richmond Fed economist and Friedman devotee argues that the housing decline and sharp rise in energy prices were enough to cause a moderate recession beginning in late 2007 — a downturn, not a disaster-of-the-century.
You had ONE job. Trying to pretend that Bernanke wasn’t a Friedman stooge long enough to sell Friedman as the “new” savior of the economy. And you fucked it up! PROPAGANDA FAIL!
Sorry, but if you’re not even going to care enough about your self-serving historically revisionist bullshit, then I don’t know why you expect the rest of us too.
I say, GOOD DAY, SIR!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. So it turns out the Obamacare exchange health plan I’m currently looking to qualify for actually covers some trans shit, which is hella baller. I’m hoping a recent interview will make that moot, but yeah, that’s sexy as all fuck. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*If you’re so curious about what it would have been in longer, just imagine an endless loop of me alternating between going “cool story, bro” at all the made-up never-happened IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION horseshit attempts to make one or two incidents that didn’t even happen the way they said they did completely replace the hundreds to thousands of incidents where an unarmed black male has been killed by a “vigilante” often with the vigilante receiving no or reduced sentences” and just ranting about the bald-faced way they are trying to retroactively justify gleefully supporting mother fucking lynching, oh my Bob I hate these people so fucking much”. Needless to say, for the sake of my blood pressure, I’m just going to leave this bullshit welllll enough alone.
**I don’t need ample historic evidence to demonstrate Marx’s theorem that the fruit of labor is stolen by the parasites of management who wants all the gain for none of the work. I can just point to the actions and arguments of those who purport to disprove it.