You know if you just came out and let yourself be a leather daddy, you wouldn’t need to externalize your issues quite so much.
Joseph Farah, Wing Nut Daily:
Why I’m the world’s most tolerant person
Snrk… Bwahahaha… BAHAHAHAHAHA! I, oh man, pfft. Really? That title? I mean, bwahahahahaha seriously dude? Oh Bob, fuck, my sides, I bwahahahaha *thunk* ouch, too much. Snrk, bwahahahaha-
(Sorry for this readers, let’s just give her a minute to get it out of her system)
Hahahaha who is he kid-snrk?
(Uh, let’s just roll the shorter until she gets back)
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- I’m the most motherfucking tolerant person you know! Sure, I might be throwing a full-blown hissy fit over the indignant notion that the Fox-style pet “liberal” we brought over to serve as our global punching bag and straw-man factory is daring to even lightly call conservatives out on their bullshit, but that just proves that I’m the Jesus fucking Christ of tolerance. I mean, would an intolerant person have a punching bag specifically used to deflect these accusations? Or hate nearly everybody on the planet for daring to not be exactly like me? NO FUCKING WAY! AND I’LL RIP THE THROAT OUT OF ANYONE WHO DARES SAY OTHERWISE! THIS IS MY PLAYGROUND! MINE, MINE, MINE!
(You… uh, done over there?)
Hee… ho… haaaa… Ow, I think I fell on my keys.
(Eh, good enough.)
So yeah, Joseph fucking Farah, self-designated god-king of wingnut daily has gotten his boxers all bunched up about the perfidy of his pet excuse daring to actually point out that conservatives like him actually are shitweasels in their political beliefs.
And I guess, “tolerance” was the watch-word thrown around his last Bible Study group as he’s all in a tizzy about it and looking for blood.
And honestly, it may be some of the greatest accidental comedy on the planet.
I’m often asked by visitors to WND why I publish the views of commentators with whom I disagree.
Why you break echo chamber with no approve thought? Make thinky box go ow, me no like! Reader smash evil no approve thought!
My standard reply is that if I limited the commentary section to the views of only those with whom I agree, I would be the only regular columnist.
Yeah, that is probably true. And frankly is pretty much the end-result of all conservatism everywhere. All those petty wannabe tyrants everywhere and their addiction to hating those who are in any way different from the only life experiences they can respect (their own) can band together to take out the obvious targets, those chosen to be proper targets of their wrath.
And they can all pat themselves on the back for getting rid of all the queers and the communists and the women who have a mind and the workers who don’t think they deserve to die and…
But get rid of all of them and then they have to deal with each other and the tiny differences become another excuse to get the thrill of othering, until ever more slight deviations from the “approved line” lead to the full attack.
We can see this for ourselves in Fundie churches, where the removal of all those others just leads the members to turn on each other and kick each other out over such imperceptible differences.
And we can see it in the ranks of the wingnuttery where all the dedicated bigots are operating a little more fearful now that the slightest action of non-balls-to-the-wall crazy can be the point of derailment that brings the whole gravy train to a stop and turn you into one of those “enemies” that it’s always justified to harass, attack, and “joke” about murdering.
One of my goals as the founder of WND was to provide the broadest spectrum of political commentary to be found anywhere on planet Earth. And I think we’ve accomplished that for the last 15 years.
Find any other newspaper or Internet news source that offers uninhibited, unrestricted, uncensored commentary from personalities as politically and philosophically diverse as Bill Press and Alan Keyes.
Find any other newspaper or Internet news source that offers uninhibited, unrestricted, uncensored commentary from personalities as politically and philosophically diverse as Ellen Ratner and Pat Buchanan.
Maybe I’m misremembering my statistics class, but having a dataset with everything bunched up on the far right hand side with a single point sort of on the rightish side of the middle isn’t so much a “spectrum” as an outlier.
Also, most of them by that justification. Same general bounds to of going from center-right to far-right cuckoo land.
Also, yeah, shock of shocks, I don’t seem to see these “liberals” really popping up anywhere in your fancy little sidebar or on your front page, Mr. LOOK HOW TOLERANT I AM! LOOK!
You won’t find it anywhere.
And to prove I’m the most tolerant publisher in the world, let me take it a step further. How many people in my position would continue to pay for and publish the views of a columnist who labeled the boss “a phony Christian,” a “swine” and a “publicity whore”?
I’M THE BOSS! ME! THIS IS MY KINGDOM AND YOU ARE MY SERFS AND YOU WILL BOW WHEN I APPROACH! Waaaaahh, they’re not bowing, MOMMEEEE, waaaaaahhh. Even though I paid them for the whole hour, waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.
I did that. Do you know anyone else who has?
I might not just be the most tolerant publisher in the world, I may also be the most tolerant person in the world. But I’ll leave that to others to judge.
Oh… definitely… I mean, when I’m talking with people and I need to point out an example of tolerance, I can think of no better examples, yup… must resist giggle spasm… pfftt-
provide all this background to address the views of one of the aforementioned WND commentators – Bill Press.
I want you to know how fucking tolerant of dissent I am before I start ranting like Rush Limbaugh being denied his pill refill about HOW SOMEONE DARED DISSENT IN MY KINGDOM!
And no, his angry tyrant demanding his subjects grovel and explain how the latest oppressive laws are proof that their leige is the most gracious and kindly king on the planet shtick doesn’t actually let up for the entire post. So enjoy.
I provide all this background to address the views of one of the aforementioned WND commentators – Bill Press.
Now, I like Bill Press. I think he’s a nice fellow – personally. But his views are abhorrent – despicable, repulsive, loathsome, revolting and sometimes, as in a recent case, laughably deceitful. I say all this with the deepest personal respect, of course. And please note that I am not calling Bill Press names. I’m rejecting and repudiating his views.
Yeah, I’m so fucking tolerant of this rat-scoundrel bastard. I think he’s a reprehensible hell-bound fucker who I’d gladly drown in a bucket of my own piss, but damnitt I am such a good Christian to forgive this WILL NO ONE RID ME OF THIS MEDDLESOME PRIEST, I mean, love him as a brother, just like Cain did. You’re dead meat, chum.
What’s the piece that has me so exercised?
Here’s the part that really stuck in my craw: “Republican opposition to food stamps is so mean-spirited, it’s difficult to comprehend. In many ways, the program works the way government benefits should. When the economy goes south, the number of people on food stamps increases; when the economy improves, the number goes down. And we’re not talking a lot of money. On average, a person on food stamps received $133.41 per month in 2012. Assuming three meals a day, that’s less than $1.50 per meal, per person, not exactly living high on the hog. It’s also hard to understand how Republicans can oppose food stamps and yet still call themselves Christians.” (Emphasis added.)
Yeah, wingnuts, you were better off when you didn’t bother to cite the actual words of those you try and smear. Cause when you do, it just makes your failed “I am filled with Christ’s love” abusive temper tantrum all the more deliciously ironic.
Yeah, you show how you are the real tolerant one as you trot out a bunch of specific targeted personal insults in order to counter someone talking generally about an actual ideology and doing so in a way that is actually about current congressmembers rather than the people stroking themselves off in a closet to pictures of Boehners.
And I probably don’t even need to note that the section is spot on. Given all the shit that Jesus is actually written to have said in the little book none of them ever actually read about how helping the poor and needy was pretty much job 1-10 of anyone who wanted to be considered not an asshole by him, it really is remarkable to note all the idiots who claim to worship him doing their damndest to try and make being poor the most miserable short-lived experience they can make it.
I mean, it not only lacks empathy, treats people like disposable vermin, does not work, and is cruel and vindictive for no other reason than making rich assholes feel superior for not ever needing that form of help to survive, but it’s also expressly forbidden by the God they claim to worship and demand the rest of us worship.
It’s rare to find so much misinformation packed into one short paragraph.
You own Wing Nut Daily, so even if you were right, it’s not exactly a rare commodity in your part of the world if you catch my gist (and I think you do).
(And this is why so many question my decision to publish such drivel. Yet, I believe it is instructive to listen to and respond to the views of those with whom we disagree. It’s the basis of a civil and free society.)
As long as everyone is strongly reminded every time it happens that THEY ARE WRONG AND EVIL AND VILE and I AM GREAT AND KIND AND WONDERFUL! Because that’s just the kind of loving king I am.
I only wish Republicans opposed food stamps. They don’t. But I do – and I do so based on my very strong Christian worldview. I won’t even deal with the rest of the inaccurate and untruthful and highly judgmental and intolerant assumptions my friend Bill Press includes in his screed. I’m just going to focus on his smears against people who maintain a biblical view of the world and believe God is the author of life and the essence of truth and justice.
I’m not actually going to respond to any of these inaccurate notions that are so obviously terrible, but I want you to know that you all should dismiss them all as the lies that they are and never ever trust your lying eyes again with that charlatan pig. Only trust those the king has decreed loyal. So say we all!
Do I believe we should help out neighbors in need? Of course. The Bible commands us to do that.
Do I believe that God suggests we should delegate our responsibility to do this to government? Emphatically no.
Is there any evidence in the scriptures or the words of Jesus that imply or hint that we should approve of government wealth-redistribution programs that create dependency and foster cycles of long-term poverty in the less fortunate? Emphatically no.
Of course not. I mean, there was that bit about giving to Caesar that which is Caesar’s. And then there was all the time he flipped out on governmental agents who were not supporting the general welfare. And the time he went all snarky emo on the rich guy who wanted to join up with his crew and told him it was useless unless he redistributed all his wealth to the poor (yeah, you can dress it up in scary words but it still means just giving it from one to the other. I mean, it’s not a natural law that rich people be rich and people are not stealing their inherent birth right to give to those who are inherently decreed to be commoners by birthright). And there was all the ways he slammed those who were not contributing to the laws set to protect the most vulnerable and-
Fuck, I’m going to be here all day at this rate, let’s just say the entire New Testament minus the bits from johnny-come-lately Paul and call it a day.
Let’s examine some scripture beginning with the one Press cited – Matthew 25. He quotes one verse, 42, apparently overlooking the context of the entire chapter.
This is a chapter that makes my point: It includes a parable that shows how God reveres individual initiative and what we call today “private enterprise.” I could cite many others, but I will limit myself to the one chapter misused and misinterpreted by Press.
Uh huh. Hey, weren’t you one of the supporters of the Conservative Bible Project? Because I just wanted to let you know that it doesn’t show at all.
That might strike Press as a pretty tough judgment for a guy who simply didn’t follow his boss’ instructions and bring him a return on his investment – being cast into outer darkness! Maybe he missed that part of the chapter.
Meanwhile, those who put their boss’ money to work and brought him a profit were rewarded.
As to clothing the naked and feeding the hungry, that’s clearly an individual responsibility, not a collective one – and certainly not one that is fulfilled through government coercion.
By the way, is Press suggesting that church and state are inextricably linked now and that we should use the government to impose his religious views on others? Hhhhmmm. This might be a first.
Believers serve a big God – one bigger than phony government “largesse” and “compassion.”
Bill Press ought to know better.
But I’m still happy to offer him his space each week in WND – if for no other reasons than to dare us to think and, also, to demonstrate just how tolerant I truly am.
Uh huh. So all it takes to get you to piss on the shit you try and shove down our throats and treat it as evil germ cooties is to note exactly what you are really holding in your hand?
Damn, boy, driving you fuckers out of my life just got a shit-ton easier!
And uh, good luck with your paper kingdom there, bro, I’m sure it’ll totally withstand even the slightest pressure.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. And these are the jokers who think they’ll be the ones ruling over their own castle if they blow everything up. Sigh. Just fucking play some D&D if you need to lose yourself in a fantasy of self-empowerment this much. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™