Bruce is watching and waiting for his young cohort to see the light.
Kurt, World’s Worst Homosexuals Incorporated:
Conservatives, gay politics, and lost opportunities
Dear Bob, they’re asexually multiplying and not in the fun way.
Which honestly just baffles me. I mean, who looks at Bruce Daniel Blatt, poster child to internalized homophobia and self-loathing and goes “gosh, I really want to cover his lazy ass and assure that the glorious mission of ensuring that life sucks for people exactly like me continues unabated”?
That being said… I’m not entirely sure new whipping boy Kurt is as invested in creative self-destruction as the other two embarrassments to homosexuality.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Man, wouldn’t it be great if conservatives knocked off this homophobia shit so I could feel fully comfortable supporting them in their war against brown and poor people instead of pissing on myself out of a sense of tribal loyalty to people who despise me for the way I was born. I mean, they wouldn’t have to try too fucking hard, just claim credit for the work of liberals or eeling away on a technicality like they’ve been doing with the civil rights movement and then I could cheer for things that affect my life personally without worrying about my fellow conservatives tearing me apart for being a secret socialist.
Well yes, Kurt, I imagine it would be easier for you and your fellow docuhenozzles to rationalize working for the enemy that hates you personally and wants everyone like you to suffer and die if said enemy started accepting their inevitable defeat and moved on from exploiting homophobia.
But see, just like those black people, women, and trans* people you’d love to piss on from on high, you were born with the near-fatal notbeingawhitecisstraightmale disease that makes you instantly lesser in the eyes of your Imaginary Rich Republican Sugar Daddies. And you will never be anything less than a useful idiot and whipping boy to them. Because of what you were born as.
At the time of the Supreme Court rulings on same-sex marriage this summer, it seemed to me that by ruling as it did, the Supreme Court had involuntarily handed many conservatives a great opportunity to move beyond the issue of gay marriage in ways that they hadn’t in the past. Instead of making it a social or cultural issue, many conservatives could have sidestepped the issue entirely by talking more about economic issues and questions of taxation and state-sponsored benefits instead.
After all, the plaintiff in the case which challenged the Defense of Marriage Act was moved to file suit largely because of the estate taxes she incurred when her partner passed away. So instead of viewing it as a social or cultural issue, they could have taken up the cause of greatly reducing estate taxes for all regardless of marital status.
Yes. Yes, they could.
They could also have offered to provide free unicorns to all Self-Hating Gay Republicans.
But they didn’t. Because, as stated before, they don’t fucking view you as worth salvaging. Too much of their “traditional values” of women and children as property is wrapped up in denying that two men or two women (and Bob forbid more than that in any other arrangement than one man and his harem of white women property) can function as equals without one being ground under the heel of the other according to the NATURAL dictates of their sexes. Furthermore, not being born gay is one more thing they can congratulate themselves for as making them inherently “better” or more mural just for having the luck to have been born straight.
They may eventually drop their resistance to you to a less overt hatred, but as occasional flare-ups of anti-catholic bigotry demonstrate, they will never fully accept you as “one of them”.
As your attempts to sell standing behind gay rights gains on an excuse that lets them get out of actually supporting gay rights aptly demonstrate.
While I’m obviously biased on the issue,
Well, I’m sure a few months writing for the Internalized Homophobia Times will knock that self-respect out of you, Clockwork Orange style.
I mean, seriously, could you be any more of an identity politics hippie liberal bastard, what with acknowledging that the desires of privileged class bigots might not be the one shop solution its sold as?
it seems to me that running on an anti-gay agenda is not a winning issue for conservatives.
Neither is overt and archaic sexism and racism. Or the attempts to bring back Jim Crow. Or pissing on the poor victims of their economic catastrophes over the last 30 years. Or openly dismissing the very concept of democracy and working to prevent people from being able to trust elections. Or actively resisting any attempt to fix the damage they have done to this country on every level. Or blocking any real health care reform.
Conservatives abandoned “winning” a long time ago in favor of a twisted anarchy of burning down the building so that no one else can inhabit it. Because the Southern Strategy and Reagan Revolution have bred a generation of fuckweasels who will gladly live in a gutter as long as the filthy liberal’s gutter has spikes and is on fire.
I recognize that social conservatives played a very big role in the Reagan revolution, and I acknowledge that social conservatives are still an important part of the base that the Republican Party needs to keep winning elections.
Heh. You still think the Republican Party can keep winning elections outside of very specific regionalism and outright fraud… so cute.
Also, um… have you seen your fellow mouthbreathers, lately? I’m pretty sure the “social conservatives”, i.e. intractable bigots, make up the sole membership of the conservative movement. Or have you just not counted things like having to support a wife-beating child murderer as a modern day saint because he killed a black kid or being against even birth control because a woman somewhere might not be punished for having sex or be uppity enough to “deserve” getting raped which won’t a “rape rape”, because they didn’t affect you personally.
Sorry, dickweasel, they weren’t going to let you sit at the people table just because you’re happy to suck off closeted repression.
But I believe that there are ways to accommodate social conservatives without alienating other potential voters.
Good luck with that.
Talking about court appointments is one way of doing this, because one needn’t be a social conservative to believe that the court should focus more on applying and interpreting the actual intent of the Constitution rather than legislating from the bench. Likewise, one can have an honest debate about tax policy and whether or not it is in the state’s interest to carve out special exceptions for marriage or whether the state should get out of the marriage business all together and just simplify the tax code instead.
C’mon guys, I can recite the dog whistles just as well as you can. Can’t you just overlook my sexuality and focus on how very white and male I am?
There are some signs that more and more Republican are getting this message. On September 11 of this year, Politico reported on a survey that showed that more and more Republicans are embracing libertarian views about government.
Naaaaaaah. Really? Fancy that. Republicans embracing libertarian ideas?!? Hey, in related news, I heard that Xe might be embracing the ideas of Blackwater. Also Altria might be embracing the ideas of Philip Morris. What with it being the desperate attempt at rebranding the same old shit and all.
I mean, for fuck’s sake, do you think we’re all as stupid as well, you?
The Politico piece goes on to quote the Republican pollster who ran the poll saying that more and more voters are disturbed by both the size and the intrusiveness of government in the Obama era:
Really? Reflexive hatred of anything a liberal does, while proudly supporting anything a conservative does? Even if it is quite literally the same shit. Gosh, that sure would be the actions of a group that isn’t the willing slaveboys of the Grand Ole Dom.
It all sounds great so far from my perspective. I think this is a direction that Republicans need to embrace to be able to win significantly in the future.
Ha! You actually think that homophobia will be dropped in the rebranding. You poor deluded bastards.
And then, there’s the sad case of Virginia. I first heard of Ken Cuccinelli when he was elected Attorney General of Virginia in 2009, in an election that many viewed as a sign of trouble ahead for the Democrats in 2010. I knew he had played a large role in fighting Obamacare and in bringing the fight to the Supreme Court, and so it seemed to me that he would have a good chance of being elected Governor of Virginia this year, especially since he is running against corrupt Clinton crony Terry McAuliffe. Over the summer, though, I kept hearing that Cuccinelli was not doing well against McAuliffe in the polls, and I wondered why that might be.
Then, two weeks ago, I read this piece by Eric Scheie at Classical Values which made it clear for me why Cuccinelli was so unpopular with Virginia voters. Scheie quotes an article from Slate which maintains that Cuccinelli has fully embraced the agenda of the social conservatives.
The Classical Values piece points out that not only does Cuccinelli campaign on saving the anti-sodomy statutes, but that he thinks “gays belong in jail.”
Yeah, that dignity and self-respect is the sticking piece ain’t it. I mean, you’d love to join the jeering mob punching the filthy hippie to the ground and rubbing their filthy minority status in their face. And then you look up and see the boot coming at your head and you realize that all those bastards who hate the “right” people, also hate you. That because of who you are, you are considered no different than those filthy poor people, or women, or racial minorities. That your “heroes” would gladly support laws you assumed were long since abandoned, rekindle fights you thought resolved enough for you to be publicly yourself in organizations that despise you.
That your willingness to support the “right” ideas” and say the “right” things and fear the “right” boogeymen would allow you to be seen as yourself, a vile fuck just like them. But because of who you are, all they’ll see is a faggot who should burn in Hell, some hippie commie freak who can never be like them.
And so begins Kurt’s real journey. Will the dissonance get enough for empathy to finally kindle? Or will he choose the path that Bruce and Jeff have completed, hating their very own selves in desperate bids to be considered honorary straights?
Spoiler Warning: It’ll be the latter.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. If I ever become self-loathing enough to sell out my people, please do not hesitate to brain me with a rock. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™