Or I guess, we can wait for the problem to solve itself, Lisbeth Salander style.
Steven Ertelt, Wifely Duties News:
Chicago Public Schools Mandate Sex Ed Classes for Kindergarten
Not on the title, no, we’ll get back to that particular flavor of what the fuck in a second. No, rather it’s the fact that once again I have three separate pieces of dumbassery on the same subject which all deserve the same level of vitriol-encrusted smackdown. I mean, my posts are long enough, can I really start a possible trend of extending them even further? By embarking down this road, do I risk eventually drowning in my own effluence? A never ending river of half-muttered rage and poorly worded shit jokes?
… Eh. Worse fates, I suppose. And I’ve already got the river boat ready to travel, so let’s dive in.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Children! Sex Education! This will make great fodder for our perpetual outrage machine! We just need to make sure we throw out as many dog whistles as possible, not mention what the program actually does, throw up an image of children from before the last church picnic before Father McWanderingHands got to them, and most of all, avoid covering that we have the same reaction to all forms of sex education, because we like to pretend that if we don’t talk about it, it never happens.
So, yeah, apparently the Chicago Public Schools system is instituting an “at-all-ages” sex education program. And as much as we might imagine that it’s endless seminars on the proper lubricant to use for double fisting, it’s pretty much as tame and lifeless as any other sex education program. It still waits until middle school to even broach any sex topics and will probably handle those in the same “here’s all the ways you could die, so don’t” way that we’ve gotten used to in this country.
So what’s the freakout?
Well, the fact that they have programs to extend all the way down, covering topics like puberty and what to expect starting in fourth grade (what is this? Kids not discovering in the most traumatic way possible that their junk can bleed on them and actually being prepared for it? What spore of madness is this?!?) and topics of “good touch/bad touch” for the little little ones in the hopes of giving them some outlet for reporting molesters.
And oddly enough, this has sent the outlet alarm to all the Catholic apologists.
Which okay, easy joke to be made there, but it’s not like they’re just going to walk in to it in the first sentence or-
They are much, much too young to even be thinking about sex and sexual acts at their age are the worst form of pedophilia,
Um… no. Actual child molestation would be “the worst form of pedophilia”.
Not the sad dwelling on the fact that far too many kids grow up with an intimate knowledge of having grown-up sexuality thrust upon them or into them by those who are set to protect and care for them.
And seeing this bit of “the worst thing that can happen to children is being aware that adults fuck” sophistry and bullshit is a little hard to take when I scroll to the top of your site and see a giant banner to “Catholicmatch.com” and your site’s response to the Church molestation scandal was pretty much pointing to Planned Parenthood, throwing up a bunch of made-up IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION and then running away.
Oh, and not to slag a fellow victim of grammatical whoopsies, but that sentence doesn’t fucking scan even a little bit.
but Chicago public schools think little boys and girls in kindergarten are ready for sex ed classes.
Yeah, again, a little hard to take from the organization that raised supporting child rapists to a whole new level. But even without that, this constant drumbeat of “ooh, isn’t it scandalous to associate children with sex” bit of passive-aggressive denialism is one of those things that piss me the fuck off.
These teachers aren’t clopping their little cloven hands together, laughing maniacally at the thought of corrupting your innocent artifact children into the ways of lust and sin by inventing sexuality into them.
99% of kids develop some form of sexual attraction to other people during their teen years or the years just before. And without any guide, they will turn to the internet and schoolyard rumors to make sense of it all. There wouldn’t be any sex education in schools if parents could be relied upon to always let their children know what was up 100% of the time before it was far too late. And if those same denial-struck parents could stop fucking it up, maybe we’d have one worth a damn, instead of the pathetic joke we have now (though internet porn loves it for all the business it throws its way).
And in the same, reality is what it is, no matter what parents want to believe way, we come to this sad fact.
A lot of kids get raped in our society. And a lot of them are first raped young, like holy balls level of young. Not to ruin anyone’s ability to laugh ever again, but I was recently reading a giant thread of rape survivors telling their stories and the sheer number of stories that began “the first time I was molested was about 3, but it probably started before then” was straight-up humbling.
And that is the reality that the Chicago Public Schools are trying to respond to. Trying desperately to reach that handful of young kids who are having this happen in their home lives or in their churches or even from their babysitters or visits to relatives and let them know that there’s a name for it, it’s not just them, and there are avenues of adults who will at least try to support you even if you’ve had bad luck before.
Sex Ed classes at that age are sadly necessary because there is no age young enough to dissuade a predator from violating you. And that’s no joke.
But I guess it’s oddly consistent for the people with their heads stuck in the sand over their own church’s abuse of their children would also stick their fingers in their ears and go “lalalala” to this reality as well.
Even when it’s spelled out in the article they quote throughout their piece (though suspiciously, not that part)
But parents are already up in arms about not only how appropriate the classes are but whether they distract from real education.
“The new policy calls for 300 minutes of instruction or about 30 minutes a month,” the report says.
Yeah. 30 minutes a month. I think the classes can spare that. I mean, if we can spare 10 minutes every single class day to do a creepy loyalty oath to a strip of fucking fabric and spare entire hours every so often for useless ass pep rallies or advertising campaigns for school functions that bring money in, then I think we can spare 30 measly minutes a month to actually do some good and teach something that nearly every child is deprived of at home.
Also, I’m fucking impressed they bothered to mention that bit. Kind of makes your panic sound a wee bit bullshit, don’t it?
AIEEE! They’re losing whole minutes. EACH MONTH!
Um… yes, that’s not a lot of time.
BUT IT’S SEX TIME! Which is worth like a quadrillion billion of your Earth Minutes.
… What was in that cigarette you were smoking, exactly?
North Carolina is also pushing sex education programs on kids and PLanned Parenthood pushes sex ed on 11-year-olds.
So yeah, as we’ll see on the next article, LifeNews looooves to quote itself incessantly. If they’re not trumpeting that they are the people who broke a story that is 99% methane and hot air, they are trying to drop their other conspiracy theories into their latest attempted smear job.
And no, it doesn’t at all reveal that all their supposed “pro-life” not-actually-babies saving frenzy is actually a reflexive hatred of sex and sexuality. All sex and sexuality. Why do you ask?
Oh, was it something to do with the first article going to a venom-filled rant about organizations trying to fill the hole in sex education created by useless abstinence programs by providing basic sex education services that DARE MENTION CONDOMS EXIST? AND HISS! OUR CULT BELIEFS TRUMP EVERYONE ELSE’S RELIGIOUS FREEDOMS! (No seriously, the only argument they trot out in that article is Hiss condoms Hiss)*
No? Maybe it was the second article which… I swear to Bob, opens with two lines that are impossible to read any other way than arguing that 11 year olds who have sex should become pregnant and carry that child to inevitably fatal end in order to “teach” them a lesson about being skanky whores.
You know, in case you were still holding onto hope that these sick fucks were in any way redeemable.
ETR Associates—a sex program clearinghouse and offshoot of Planned Parenthood of Santa Cruz
Oh hey. Santa Cruz. I’ve got peeps down there. So what have the evil hippies of Hippipocalypse been brewing up… besides exciting new bong recipes?
—admits on its webpage that a program being taught in North Carolina schools and elsewhere across the nation teaches toward four major “outcome expectancies or behavioral beliefs.”
Yeah, in the outline to their program, their specifically researched and evidence-based program dealing with actual reality instead of a fantasy that kids are going to avoid fucking in contrast to the sum total of human existence, because you appeal to God loudly and try and make kids ashamed of their bodies. And one that sounds pretty bad-ass too. There’s even a part of it that’s specifically designed to counter the various bullshit myths about condoms in order to defeat the social conditioning assumed males get that wearing rubber makes you less of a man or “makes it less fun”. The whole idea that safe sex is fun sex is a HUGE thing that more sex ed programs should be mentioning. And the best part is that that section is deliberately baited with a title designed to get the most fervent creators of these myths to blindly link to it in reflexive dog-whistle panic and-
Belief number 4 is described in the ETR overview as “Hedonistic Beliefs.” Hedonistic philosophy places pleasure above everything else—as the greatest good.
Yup, that’s the title. And boy howdy did you fall for it hard.
Also, way to reveal that all your resistance to sex education at any level has nothing to do with “protecting kids” and has more to do with enforcing a society of childhood self-destruction.
A world where kids live in fear of their burgeoning sexuality, filled with shame about their young explorations, sneaking off to Planned Parenthood to fix the “whoops” that couldn’t be stopped by pulling out at the last minute like Billy said, being driven to suicide if their sexualities aren’t to the right people, or if their pubescent bodies aren’t quite right.
A world where all the sex education a child should receive is that if she is assumed to be a girl, her life will be defined by how able she is to fight off an army of rapists until one finally subdues her and saddles her with a pregnancy to prevent her from escaping through any path but an early grave.
A world where children being raped by parents and pastors have no language to understand and no means to speak out and instead muddle through life confused and resigned. Disconnected from everything but their hellish torment.
I mean, why think of that, when you can blame it all on Obama instead.
Oh sorry, did I not mention that was where the wingnuts decided to take this next?
Yup, this Fucker Again, Is This Real Life News:
Obama Agreed With Mandating Sex Ed Class for Kindergarten Students
Yeah, I guess, people have gotten used to the usual outrage circus of feigning concern for the poor widdle ones who might actually have some language not derived from internet pornography to understand what is happening inside of them, so they needed to step it up a notch.
And what truer way for the right-wing of our modern age to step it up than to somehow tie the outrage of the moment into our Blackest President of Blackistan HE’S BLACK BLAAAAAAAACK!
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Hey remember back in 2007, when we tried to crucify Obama for supporting real sex education including the first draft of this recently passed law? Remember how epically that failed? Well, we apparently don’t. And besides, everyone loves reruns, right?
So yeah, I guess we’re adding Obama’s head to the Planned Parenthood/Hippies of Santa Cruz cerberus.
As LifeNews reported,
Yeah, as I said, they are in fucking love with internally linking to themselves. In fact, I can’t even find a single one of their posts that doesn’t link to one or several of their other posts. But I guess if no one is willing to fuck their wrinkled old hate-spewing misogynist asses, they might as well get their frustration out in endless masturbation sprees.
But, as CNS News reports, Obama, in 2007, embraced the idea.
The Chicago Public Schools this year are mandating that the district’s kindergarten classes include sex education, fulfilling a proposal President Barack Obama supported in 2003 when he served in the Illinois state senate and later defended when he ran for president in the 2008 election cycle.
At a Planned Parenthood convention at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Washington, D.C., on July 17, 2007, a teenage girl who said she worked as a sex-education “peer educator” in the D.C. public schools asked then-U.S. Sen. Obama what he would do to encourage the teaching of “medically accurate, age-appropriate, and responsible sex education.”
Obama first noted that he had worked with Planned Parenthood to push a sex education bill when he served in the Illinois state legislature.
Then he said: “I remember Alan Keyes—I ran against Alan Keyes—but I remember him using this in his campaign against me, saying, ‘Barack Obama supports teaching sex education to kindergartners.
“And you know,” said Obama, “I didn’t know what to tell him. But it is the right thing to do, to provide age-appropriate sex education, science-based sex education in the schools.”
ABCNews.com published a story about what Obama told Planned Parenthood. It carried the headline: “Sex Ed for Kindergartners ‘Right Thing to Do,’ Says Obama.”
Which, yeah, no.
Also gotta love the in-depth hate-focus on the girl who asked the no-shit-in-a-sane-world question. She was a “peer educator” for SEX (education) and she’s a TEENAGER! And we’re not allowed to perv over her without being labeled creepy, but we can insinuate that she’s a nasty whore all we like with occasional nods that if ever anyone wants to “correct” her with those tools we use to correct uppity women like… hey, now, what are you suggesting. Rape only ever happens when the poor menz get backed up because of taunting whores, not anything to do with power and enforcing hierarchies and silences.
But hey, if that old tack fails (like it’s going to), there is always the proud old tradition of blaming teh queers for inventin’ all this untraditional sex talk.
Daniel Doherty, Clownhall:
Chicago: We Need to Teach Sex Education in Kindergarten Classrooms
Oh thank the all-mighty Satan, a new group of sex-obsessed sexphobes to deal with. Sure, it’s fucking Clownhall, the same jokers who thought that Michael Brown and VD Hanson really needed to have their careers salvaged from the dustbin of embarrassing obscurity, but hey, at this point I will take any fucking thing.
So what are we in for?
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Okay, I’m going to level with you all. I’m fucking terrible at this propaganda thing, so I’m going to regularly try and demonize the program while at the same time quoting the exact ways in which it’s not as bad as I’m saying and actually something necessary and reality-based, leaving you with the impression that I’m not only psychotically separated from reality, but also supporting a disturbing collection of horrible things… and on that last count… uh, queers are evil? And black “urban” kids are stupid?
Common sense: out. Sex education classes for five-year-olds: in:
Oh hey, that quote again. It’s almost like this shit is being deliberately circled through the same outrage machine channels in order to stoke up some reflexive backlash to key phrases in the hopes of scaring all liberals out of ever standing up for reality.
It’s times like these that I find myself unable to be surprised, resigned to the same old fate of-
Some people may think a five-year old is too young for sex education.
Administrators with Chicago Public schools do not.
New to the curriculum this year, mandatory sexual and health education for kindergarten classes.
CBS 2’s Dorothy Tucker took at look at the lesson the little ones will be learning.
Like every other kindergartener, Angelina Yang is learning reading, writing, arithmetic–and now sexual health education.
“I want to know what kind of education she is receiving before she gets that education,” said Angelia’s mom, Stella. ‘As a parent, I have a right to know.”
CPS insists the curriculum will use language children understand and focus on topics like bullying, correct names for external body parts and the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching.
“As you identify body parts, you talk about should you be touched here or not.,” said Stephanie Whyte, the CPS Chief Health Officer. “And if someone touches you, and it’s uncomfortable, you should tell a trusted adult.”
Wow, you suck at this.
Actually listing the reality of what you are demonizing is a major right-wing no-no. I mean, fuck, you can be safe linking to it and quoting only those choice bits that make it sound like the liberal-hate-target-du-jour eats babies for lunch everyday, cause what are your readers going to do? Actually click links and risk being informed?
But when you quote it verbatim, so that they don’t have to go anywhere to see the truth, you’re really taking the con game to a dangerous place and are risking revealing the setup to the marks.
I mean, okay, yeah, you write for Clownhall, so you can be reasonably sure that they’ll still play along, but still, risky business.
Why even introduce these concepts to unsuspecting children?
Because as I noted earlier and the article you just quoted noted, being young doesn’t necessarily protect kids from being groomed or targeted by a predator.
Hell, one sort of has to wonder at this sort of reaction based on what you just extensively quoted. The very concept of “bad touch” shouldn’t really be a big deal for nearly anyone. Well, I guess it’s a big deal for child molesters, since they are having their targets warned off and become more at risk of being discovered, but that’s a little harsh. It’s not like Daniel Whatisname is going to start leaning in that direction-
If anything, this will only lead to their loss of innocence earlier than necessary, no?
Wow. I just… I don’t even know where to begin with that one. I mean, talk about the mother of all victim-blamings right there.
Kids learning about what a bad touch is will somehow lead to them “losing innocence” earlier than necessary (which, I don’t even want to imagine how he means “necessary” right there, but I will bet my left testicle that it isn’t the same way you or I might use it).
I mean, I’m trying to interpret this as anything other than a “they are dirtied by knowledge of sex and thus are ‘asking’ to be violated” bullshit excuse making that so many child molesters turn to and use against their victims to make them feel broken and powerless, but… yeeeeaaaaah.
What does it say that I’m looking back at the fetus-fetishists as the less creepy option.
I hesitate with fear at how much further down this particular rabbit hole we’re going with this.
Meanwhile, some might call this (ahem) “teaching tolerance.” Others, well, might call it by its rightful name: indoctrination:
Students will also take a look at the different family structures that exist in today’s society.
“Whether that means there’s two moms at home, everyone’s home life is different, and we introduce the fact that we all have a diverse background, “ said Whyte
That’s a lesson some conservative organizations oppose.
The say CPS is giving in to liberal groups that seek “to normalize homosexuality.”
It’s the kind of lesson that makes some parents hesitant.
“If he has questions, I’m happy to answer them, but I’m not sure it belongs in a classroom setting,” said parent Brooke Lyon.
Oh thank Bob, some good old fashioned queer-bashing.
And again, Daniel honey, it really really hurts your case and raises uncomfortable questions when you include so much of the disproof like this.
I mean, here, where you raise the specter of evil queer indoctrination like the sort I used to perform, corrupting all the kids to the evils of queerdom by wearing a skirt to work and answering to my proper pronouns.
And instead deliver a class that mentions the reality that not everyone has got “a mommy and a daddy” and instead might be being raised by two mommies or two daddies, or just one mommy or daddy, or some other relatives, or even the state in the cases of those kids who needed to be taken away from the family where they were getting way too much of an education into just what a “bad touch” feels like.
Cause the reality doesn’t just go away by pretending everyone in the classroom is the “proper” model of white heterosexual raised by two heterosexuals who are happily married. And it’s worth recognizing it unless what you want to do is actually train kids to suppress and hide all aspects that aren’t “normal” and suffer silently and silenced…
This program is seemingly well-intentioned.
This line is WAY too late into this thing to be reassuring. Fuck, the fact that you don’t break it out until the “hey, not every family is two-person house in the suburbs with a dog” bit is horrifying in and of itself and is raising all new horrifying questions on exactly how you view the reality of child molestation.
But c’mon. Besides the obvious reasons for why “sex education” of any kind is inappropriate in kindergarten classrooms,
I mean, I’ve gotten through 2 and a half posts worth of angry rants about this law and not a damn one of you has really raised a valid reason for why this particular form of sex education is wrong and age-inappropriate.
I mean, there’s been no shortage of “FUCK YOU REALITY, I want artifact children who live in ignorance” and reflexive knee-jerk reactions to all sex-education anywhere to any age and of course, no shortage of “KINDERGARTEN! THAT’S A YOUNG AGE! Do you want to fuck a kindergartner? Yes? Shut up, then. We’ll pretend you said no and since you said no, we’ll just assume it’s a nasty evil adult thing and besides good girls who weren’t asking for it say ‘no’ and make it stick.”
But no actual reasons for why it is inappropriate to inform children on how they shouldn’t be touched and how they shouldn’t touch each other. Especially when you further consider that a lot of child abuse victims, because they don’t have healthy models for interactions, often recreate their abuses on other children because they are taught by their abusers that that is simply how one “plays” with others (and again, the self-reported stories on being on either side of this recreation are horrifying to say the least).
Which makes sense. They don’t want to reveal that there is no reason other than the usual arguments for keeping kids in the dark until they are safely in their early 20s and beyond and hopefully shackled to a newborn sprog. The same denialist and reality-phobic culture that requires schools to provide sex education in the first place and far more often, enterprising organizations like Scarlet Teen or The Midwest Teen Sex Show to fill in the void.
And we’d have to be as dumb as these fucks if we didn’t notice that that is in service to a particular ideology and in service to an indoctrination. One that privileges Catholic beliefs about the sinfulness of latex or Evangelical beliefs about the powers of intentional ignorance over the health and safety of actual kids just trying to make it in the world and grow up less fucked up about their junk than their parent’s generation.
I mean, there’s a reason that the sexphobes are pulling out the big guns of going against contraception and trying to destroy any form of genuine sex education in favor of abstinence only programs that liken girls who have sex to used chewing gum.
I must raise the point of priorities. Is there really no other subject (or subjects) teachers could focus on instead of “sexual and health education”?
It’s 30 minutes a month. I think we can fucking spare it.
After all, roughly 80 percent of eight graders in the city are not “grade-level proficient” in either reading or math.
Dog-whistle about those ineducable black folks in service to a long-running smear campaign. Pause. Pirouette. And then try and sell it back as if you are just so concerned that the poor ineducable black youth are being denied the time to grasp these subjects. And bow.
And with those jerky mechanical ticks and obvious tells, you wonder why we are hesitant to treat these insulting pivots as anything other than the horseshit bad faith that they are.
Also, hey, yeah, let’s look at those shitty numbers. It’s almost like ignoring social problems that make it difficult for students to focus on studies, constantly removing actual education for those not rich enough to afford private tutors in service to endless standardized tests instead, and treating students like they are worthless before they even start is really terrible for those “scores” and maybe they need to think outside the box and address real shit if they want to stop being used as a punching bag by bad faith conservatives salivating over the chance to call majority-black neighborhoods “dumb”.
Wouldn’t it therefore be wise for teachers to spend additional time with young children, say, teaching them how to read and solve math problems?
… Yes, I know what he was trying to say, but the way he actually said it just leaves me bitterly noting that these classes often have one teacher in front of classes of 40 or 50 in a cramped poorly ventilated room, with not enough textbooks and not always enough desks and very little time for anyone to receive “extra time” on jack shit with how much the teachers are already overworked trying to save as many kids from the streets that they can.
Yeah, there’s a lot we could do to fix shit if we actually cared enough to invest in education and listen to the experts instead of the test-preparation industry and the conservatives who want a justification for the system we have where college is only attainable for the upper middle class and rich.
But we don’t. Because we don’t care.
So fuck your bad faith about “why don’t we spend that extra 30 minutes a month” trying to slap on a handful of math problems at the end.
This new curriculum seems like a colossal waste of time –
Oh, P.S. One of those things that cause test scores to plummet, student engagement to become non-existent, and cause student problems to flow downhill in the form of increased bullying and the like?
Abusive home lives. Physically abusive, sexually abusive, even economically abusive in the form of extreme poverty. These make it nearly impossible to focus on school work. Between the deep abiding depression that makes it nearly impossible to focus or care, you get the way the flashbacks steal the time you could be spending on lessons just reliving trauma or trying to disappear altogether. And when you get home, you are often spending so much time trying to engineer ways to stop the abuse, that you don’t have the time to focus on doing the lessons, when your school can afford to send you home with a book in the first place.
One story I read was about a person who when they were very young would try and set up elaborate traps out of their toys to try and make it impossible for their abuser to sneak up on them without tripping. Someone who has to do that just to survive being at home isn’t going to be able to physically be as “good” a student as they would unmolested, because that stress dominates and overpowers everything.
And yeah, it’s especially killer with regards to timed standardized tests, because those things are usually tests of ability to handle stress more than anything else and someone with shit to actually be stressed about are going to be artificially handicapped.
especially for a K-12 public school system struggling to adequately prepare kids for life after high school.
To complete the comic tour de force, we must note one more affect of child molestation. Suicidal ideation.
Kids who are being raped day in, day out as kids. Who see the adults in their life circle around and protect their abuser against them. They learn to resign themselves to their fates and the horrible things their abusers tell them they are for “letting it happen to them”. They learn to internalize the lessons that they are worthless, stained, deserving of pain and suffering.
Many of them entertain thoughts of suicide. Still more attempt or attempt other means of dangerous self-sabotage. And many of them start young. A friend of mine on the thread was saying she was suicidal at the age of 10. Not even out of elementary school and ready to end it all.
In fact, suicidal fantasies at a young age are so rare and so specific, that it is a generally good sign that something terrible is happening to that kid and its time a responsible figure started seriously investigating the “happy home” they come from.
It’s worth noting this depressing reality here, because it is a depressing reality. It’s the world we all live in and it’s not going to go away because we want to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that this sort of thing isn’t just occurring, but downright common.
And frankly, it’s going to keep being common unless kids have the tools early to understand things. Defend themselves against those who seek to prey on the “innocence” of youth. Be open and honest about who they are and what they are going through early enough to save themselves pain. And have all the tools to be able to define their own consent, stand firm against those who repeat messages against it, and create good sexual memories instead of awkward painful ones.
Kids need to have all the information they can, because this world isn’t going to just avoid being itself around them. Their bodies are going to do stuff. Possibly people will want to do horrible abusive stuff to their bodies. And they need to know how to handle it. With age-appropriate language drafted by people who know what the fuck they are talking about, not a fleet of child-molester-defenders who get bent out of shape when two adults fuck much less two kids.
And so to answer your question, Daniel, the reason we need this in a system struggling to prepare kids for life after high school is because right now, they are just trying to get these kids to high school. To get them to have outlets and information to understand their abuse and why it isn’t their faults. To understand how the systems are broken and how it isn’t on them. To understand how to make it just an inch closer to when it might start hopefully getting better, maybe, if they are lucky. To where they at least have options to be free.
And maybe that’s an easy problem to ignore for a privileged son of the suburbs where the child molestation victims had the decency to shut up and play happy families before slitting their wrists in the back quad and being quietly taken away sight unseen.
But it’s about time we stopped.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Ha ha ha, it’s that funny Cerberus lady bringing home the jokes… sigh, yeah, that went serious and dark quickly. Sorry about that. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Which kind of puts to death their main demonization tactics against services like Planned Parenthood. If Planned Parenthood is some evil capitalist monster (remember kids, capitalism is only wrong when it involves ladybits and ladybits stuck to men who’d rather they didn’t have them) who is deliberately creating a society of sex and debauchery so that they can sell the totally kick-ass vaginal scrapings that all the cool kids are doing, then um… why would they hurt their own bottom line like this? If they really are in it for the money and the Satanism, why make it safer and less likely to conceive accidentally and thus less likely to use their services. I mean, if you really wanted to encourage more babies and more STD appointment money, you’d want to keep kids in the dark as long as possible (because kids have the least options to deal with raising that sort of thing) and even sabotage attempts to use contraception by calling it evil and…
OH MY BOB! The Catholics are secretly the ones profiting off of abortions! Those dastardly bastards!
**P.S. My cobloggers said they’ll hurt me if I don’t include this sort of thing at the bottom of my posts for the next little while for those who want to make my lifeline into something robust and meaty.
If you want to email me directly or want to send me snail-mail aid, I can send that to you through my email at cerberussadlyno AT gmail DOT com so that’s also a way for those who want to help further (please do not feel obligated to help further).
And my donation page continues to be:
Here’s the link to throw in an extra few bucks if you want (again, no obligation):
Again, do not feel obligated to pitch in. The worst is definitely over and next month’s rent check is in the mail entirely thanks to all of you. You all really came through for me. And this more epic than usual sized post is my way of giving some tiny little thing back.
I love you all so so much.