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Make Me “Wanker of the Day,” Please
To hear poor Brendan Nyhan tell it, being dubbed “Wanker of the Day” by Dr. Atrios is like some hideous Internets death sentence that ruins your on-line nerd life forever. Check it:
Last Wednesday, controversy broke out when I slammed two liberal blogs for using an airline employee’s suicide after 9/11 to take a cheap shot at President Bush. My post, which initially contained a minor factual error, prompted one of the bloggers, Atrios (aka Duncan Black), to label me the “wanker of the day” and to call on TAP editors to “rethink things a bit.” Hundreds of Atrios readers filled the Prospect’s comment boards with vitriol.
So now I’m curious- just what happens to someone when they’re named “Wanker of the Day?” Does their dog stop loving them? Does their girlfriend call them up and say, “I thought u were kewl, but then I saw that some guy on the Internet called u a ‘wanker.’ We r so, so ovar.” Do they sit in their closet eating donuts and sobbing because they received 350 e-mails informing them that they’re “teh gayest-assed fagort?” Really, I want to know.
Above: The cruel Dr. Atrios, who doesn’t understand sticks and stones break bones, and that calling people names on the Internet RUINS LIVES.
[Gavin adds: Aieee! No matter how many times I fix the color on that picture, the original AWFUL RED ONE keeps coming back...]
So how about it, Atrios? Make me “Wanker of the Day.” Go ahead. I can take it. I double-quadripple-dog dare you, ya bastuhd.
And just to give you extra incentive…
HEY!! ATRIOS, YOU MOONBAT WANKER!! LISTEN UP!! THE ONLY GOOD LIBERAL IS A “SENSIBLE” LIBERAL! MARSHALL WHITMANN AND I HANG OUT ON WEEKENDS TO WATCH THE NATS AND REMINISCE ABOUT NATIONAL GREATNESS!! GLENN REYNOLDS AND I ARE GOING SHOPPING TODAY TO PICK OUT OUR ROBOT BODIES FOR THE SINGULARITY!!! I TOSSED JOHN HINDERAKER’S MF’IN’ SALAD!!!! WITH KETCHUP AND MAYONNAISE!!!!!!!
Do your worst, dude. I want me some crazy-azzed hate mail.
Gavin adds: Hey, if you want to drive Atrios and me crazy at the same time, let’s just make ALL his pix look like they were shot through a lens made of watermelon Jolly Ranchers. Muahahaha!!! [sob]
I give up.
agum said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:02
How was Hindy’s corndog? Or Insty’s corndog, I can’t remember which.
Anyway, the wanker with the corndog — how was it?
Brad R. said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:04
How was Hindy’s corndog?
Yeah, y’know, I think I already regret writing that.
Oh. Well…
Gary Ruppert said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:09
I expect the unbiased media to start grilling Webb on this soon (ok, maybe not):
Democratic Senate challenger Jim Webb declined to say definitively Tuesday whether he had ever used a common derogatory term to describe Blacks, stepping carefully after watching his campaign rival confront charges of racism.
“I don’t think that there’s anyone who grew up around the South that hasn’t had the word pass through their lips at one time or another in their life,” Webb told reporters.
Webb has already run an anti-semitic campaign, against Harris Miller and George Allen. We know that Webb doesn’t care much for African-Americans either.
BUT LETS COVER SOME MADE UP RUMORS ABOUT DEER HEADS INSTEAD.
There’s a Liberal media lynchmob trying to get George Allen, and he should call them out.
Brad R. said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:13
Gary- man, George Allen is toast, isn’t he? Hope you’re ready to go back to Mexico, amigo.
Er, actually, I mean: “GARY RUPPERT IS TEH ROXXOR!! EAT IT, ATRIOS!!!”
Brad R. said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:15
“I don’t think that there’s anyone who grew up around the South that hasn’t had the word pass through their lips at one time or another in their life,� Webb told reporters.
Which is a perfectly honest answer. Allen’s screw-up was that he denied ever using the word, which is obvious BS.
celticgirl said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:32
Brad, are you sure you’re not actually Gary? I mean this whole thread, well…inquiring minds want to know! He always seems to show up early on in your posts.
Jusy sayin…
celticgirl said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:33
*d’oh* Just sayin…
Hey, maybe I’M Gary!
Roxanne said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:46
Be careful what you wish for. I have a friend who was Atrios’ ‘Wanker of the Day’ once. His phone didn’t stop ringing for three days.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
September 27, 2006 at 15:55
Roxanne, you mean ‘former friend’, don’t you? I mean you can’t still be friends after he achieved wankerdom?
Mixter said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:04
I just went to Brendan Nyhan’s blog and called him a wanker.
I hope he lives through it…
=====
Comments
Really. You’re a huge wanker.
Posted by: You’re a wanker. | September 27, 2006 at 10:02 AM
Mixter
Roxanne said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:05
Oh, I thought the designation in that particular case was unnecessary. So yes, we’re still friends.
JK47 said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:14
Ooh, Gary, I love it when you get shrill.
Why do you like Allen so much anyway? He’s a racist wanker tosspot. He’s practically handing his seat to Webb. Loser.
steve_e said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:26
The GOP should end their Netvocates contract. Netvocates is wasting the tax money the Republicans gave them by employing such incompetent trolls.
Don’t you get it? The easier it is to rebut the trollbots, the stronger we get! Mwahaha.
Ginger Yellow said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:31
“My post, which initially contained a minor factual error, prompted one of the bloggers, Atrios (aka Duncan Black), to label me the “wanker of the dayâ€? …”
Maybe that’s because your “minor factual error” consisted of accusing Atrios of doing something he didn’t do. When this was pointed out, instead of apologising you had another go at him for not offering a “substantive criticism”. You wanker.
Let’s see what other “minor factual errors” we can come up with, shall we?
“In 1939, Poland invaded Germany, triggering World War II” Note also that Poland has yet to offer a substantive criticism of Germany’s actions!
Seanly said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:34
Allen should lose his seat for stuffng a deer head IN the mailbox. Any real Southern boy would know that you should plant the head ON the mailbox. And using a doe head? Either use a buck’s head or don’t even try to play the cracker.
Severed Deer Head said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:43
Look, just leave me out of this.
Though I have to admit the Random Niggrah Mailbox was considerably nicer than the interior of Senator Macacawitz’ pick-up.
sysprog said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:43
Webb is wrong. I grew up down south in the 50s and 60s and it’s false that 100% of white kids used the N word.
It was only 97%. A black friend of mine said that he believed there were only 2 kinds of white folks — those who admitted to being racist, and those who didn’t admit to it.
mikey said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:48
Hey Brad. If you want, I’ll make you wanker of the day on my stoopid little blog. It’s not doing anything else these days…
mikey
GoatBoy said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:50
“A black friend of mine said that he believed there were only 2 kinds of white folks — those who admitted to being racist, and those who didn’t admit to it.”
Was he the cab driver for the fare you split with Tom Friedman?
GoatBoy said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:50
crap.
stupid tags
GoatBoy said,
September 27, 2006 at 16:51
d’oh
Gary Ruppert said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:03
Macacawitz is also a pretty darned anti-semitic slur to use on Allen
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:18
Sorry Roxanne, I was just trying to be funny. Needed more coffee for that attempt (or something).
GoatBoy said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:21
“Macacawitz is also a pretty darned funny slur to use on Allen”
There. Fixed.
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:21
I love Gary’s posts when he tries to be pc. So cute of the lil’ fella!
TritoneSubstitution said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:31
Nothing gets by Gary. Except sarcasm and irony that is. What did you expect from the severed head of the dear he killed? I found it to be a most acerbic portmanteau name.
Dick said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:32
Allen isn’t toast. Most of those Virginians still use the term “Ni@#$r” on a regular basis. They understood exactly what Allen was saying and they are going to re-elect him They don’t care about ethics or morals.
Roxanne said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:39
No big, ifthethunderdontgetya.
TritoneSubstitution said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:39
Nah, most of the voting public is concentrated in suburbs. They might be racist but they think they aren’t and they aren’t above saying “see, we’re not like him”. I believe the self-aware bigots will stay home and the ones in denial will vote for Webb.
Thorlac said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:40
Dick, I am one of “those” Virginians. We DO care about ethics and morals despite your stereotyping shitheadedness. As far as I’m concerned, one of the best things on my schedule this November will be helping that racist ratfuck lose his job.
Butch Manly said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:44
Hell, I’ve used the dreaded “n-word” hundreds of times in the last year, mostly while singing along with Kanye West’s “Gold Digger”.
Marita said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:48
Hey Mikey,
If Brad doesn’t want it, you’re free to name me wanker of the day. I’ll try to think up something to deserve it…
Hmmm…
Hate Encrusted Eyes said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:52
I just love the fact that macaca is going to enter the American political lexicon. Thank you Felix.
Thorlac said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:55
TritoneSubstitution, So I guess I should change my name to “bigot in denial”? Thanks for the support, man. So when did we start playing Nut-punch the Virginians?
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
September 27, 2006 at 17:56
Does that fix it?
And what’s all this about “deer heads”?
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:15
Did somebody say deer?
Ken Houghton said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:28
Allen deserves to lose his job for the obvious reason: he’s not good at it. (True, he was worse as governor.)
I’m with Seanly. Only a faux-GOB would screw up the deer-head so badly. It’s like a guy who buys a ranch the year before he moves to the city, just so he has something to “go home to.”
Oh. Well. Never mind.
Kathleen said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:42
I love Gary’s posts when he quotes directly from the blast fax.
Kathleen said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:42
gah
Kathleen said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:43
I blame Brad for this.
Karl Rove II said,
September 27, 2006 at 18:47
“I want me some crazy-azzed hate mail.”
No problemo,
You sir (and I use that term loosely) are an American.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine-American_War
mikey said,
September 27, 2006 at 19:01
I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Jim Webb is pretty cool in a lot of ways. Not as liberal as I am, but honest, brave and cares about america and not just some corporate CEOs. His book “Fields of Fire” is without a doubt the best book to come out of the vietnam war. If you want to know what it was like, at least for the jarheads, you MUST read it…
mikey
Anna in Portland (formerly Cairo) said,
September 27, 2006 at 19:21
Hey, I read that book! I decided that was enough of the Vietnam War genre to last me a lifetime too. Good, but gah. Really graphic. He is running against Allen? Well, vote for him for me, willya. I used to live in Arlington back when they started the ‘VA is for lovers’ slogan…
ifthethunderdontgetya said,
September 27, 2006 at 19:32
Well, well. Here we have the Official George Felix Allen insult generator.
Shout out to Gary: “Why, hello, chalupa!”
Matt T. said,
September 27, 2006 at 19:43
mikey,
Not really having much of a dog in the hunt, I really haven’t kept up with the Virginia race, apart from the never-ending hilarity provided by folks like Garybot in defending a carpetbagging rich-boy racist like Allen. I did not know Jim Webb served in ‘Nam, and in fact, was a highly decorated Marine. I also did not know Allen, though he supported Nixon’s escalation of the war, took a student deferment. Again, I have no dog in this hunt, but I must say…that’s funny as hell.
Seanly,
Yeah, no shit. You don’t waste a good deer head on a hate crime. Take the antlers and make rattlers out of them, after of course, riding around with the severed head in the back of your pick-up truck so you can show it off to everybody. Must’ve been a doe, meaning there were two of Gawd’s critters sans any balls in that affair.
Matt T. said,
September 27, 2006 at 19:47
And my dad, a former Marine who served and was injured in ‘Nam (’67-69), has recommended Fields Of Fire to me a number of times. I’ve always held off, because the old man has said it’s “real, no bullshit”. It’s taken 30 years for the old man to recover from that little dose of “reality”, and I must say it comes as no surprise that the GOP’s now-erstwhile golden boy is yet another fortunate son. How ’bout that.
TC said,
September 27, 2006 at 20:12
Sorry, Brad, atrios has santorum today.
And Boy, doesn’t THAT parse differently after Dan Savage’s campaign!
btw, I like the overlapping unclosed tags. SadNoCorp: The cutting edge of fouling up the Intertubes!
W. Kiernan said,
September 27, 2006 at 20:22
Hate Encrusted Eyes: I just love the fact that macaca is going to enter the American political lexicon. Thank you Felix.
Stop calling that shit-eating Klan wannabe “Felix,” you wanker. My son is named Felix. Klan-boy’s name is “George,” same as the English King who threw away the American colonies, or the worst American president ever.
TritoneSubstitution said,
September 27, 2006 at 20:46
Thorlac,
No, No. I left plenty of wiggle room in there. The MAY be racists and of course at the end I assumed that everyone who is not a racist (not even in denial) will vote for Webb. I assume you are one of those gentlepersons. Virginia is one of my favorite states (I am a Navy brat and Navy veteran).
tigrismus said,
September 27, 2006 at 21:25
Gavin, I really think this post needs a picture of Devastatin’ Brad, but perhaps served up with a little special sauce. No, wait, forget I mentioned special sauce in commenting on a post about wankers.
sysprog said,
September 27, 2006 at 22:02
Unlike Friedman’s taxi driver, my friend was a real person, an African-American professor of Computer Science and Systems Analysis, and he was explaining to me why he personally preferred southern-fried white folks to what he saw as northern-fake white folks. Since my heritage is mixed (Boston MA and Winchester VA), I was only half-offended by his prejudice, and anyway, he was a funny guy.
I myself was one of the few white kids who didn’t use the N word but that wasn’t my virtue, just my luck at having commie pinko jewish intellectual grandparents.
As for George Allen, he’s too stupid to be a Virginia politician, and THAT is a strong statement, but it’s true, because he’s too stupid to know when and how to lie.
Hey you goyim: Take George Allen, PLEASE. And you can take back John Kerry and Maddie Albright while you’re at it.
geoduck2 said,
September 27, 2006 at 22:48
1) What are you people doing when you take those pictures? That’s a lot of red.
2) Does their girlfriend call them up and say, “I thought u were kewl, but then I saw that some guy on the Internet called u a ‘wanker.’ We r so, so ovar.�
hmmm…maybe that’s what happened to Brendan. Or maybe she always knew that he was a wanker and it was the last straw.
3) Oh I hope Allen gets voted out. I was living in virginia when he suspended motor voter. My husband (then bf) had walked in the virginian summer heat to the DMV and was told he couldn’t register to vote.
But, yeah, I’m worried that racist remarks might not turn off too many people who vote for Allen. That state does have a Stonewell Jackson, Lee, Martin Luther King Day — I guess because honoring King meant that they had to put two slave holders as honorees on the same day?
who knows - i can’t figure out the Old Dominion. But it’s interesting that native Virginians were taken aback by Allen’s language and actions in the early 70s.
by the way — what year did UVA racially integrate, anyway? I think it was in the early 70s.
Thorlac said,
September 27, 2006 at 22:54
TS,
Ok, so my reading is off. I blame Grogan–her misuse of the language permeates the landscape hereabouts and even affects my comprehension skills. My apologies for the spluttering.
Now, my balls still hurt and I have to find someone else to blame for that…
Chuckles said,
September 27, 2006 at 23:17
Why were Watermelon Jolly Ranchers the only good flavor? The whole hard candy world still struggles with this conundrum. Grape Jolly Ranchers sucked and Strawberry, normally the standard of excellence for flavor in all varieties including skin moisturizer, was unable to take the hill from the Great King Watermelon.
Delicious, delicious moisturizer.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
September 28, 2006 at 2:28
Who among us does not love Watermelon Jolly Ranchers?
Damn, I’m going to have to go buy a bag of them now.
Uncle Fister said,
September 28, 2006 at 2:44
I liked the raspberry Jolly Ranchers too. But nothin’ beat them watermelons.
Brian tha Texas transplant said,
September 28, 2006 at 6:23
Wanker!!! JRs are nastE…
Green Apple Jolly Rancher said,
September 28, 2006 at 6:50
Y’all bitches better recognize up in this piece.
Marq said,
September 28, 2006 at 10:14
Why can’t I ever get to comment in a thread these days before there’s at *least* one tag stuck on? It’s depressing. Next time I’m first in on a thread, I’m gonna shout, “FRIST!1!—AND, NO STUCK TAGZ!!!!1!” And it will be strangely satisfying somehow.
Left_Wing_Fox said,
September 28, 2006 at 15:55
Re: Atrios photos.
OOmpah Loompah Dompah-dee Doo!
I’ll link another story for you.
Oompah Loompah Doompah-Dee Dee
Lie about it, and you’re a wanker to me.
What do you get when you ponder all day?
Making up shit so the newspapers pay?
Torture and lies are certainly a shame;
Those foul mouth lib’rals are to blame!
dah dah dah dah dah dah dah!
OOmpah Loompah Dompah-dee Dem!
You won’t be wise if you listen to them.
Even handed bullhit ain’t true.
It’s what… OOmpah… loompah Wankers all do!
ryk said,
September 28, 2006 at 16:15
mikey, I read “Fields of Fire” in high school in the ’70’s. I still remember parts of it vividly. ’nuff said.
Sadly, No! » Well This Certainly Explains A Lot. said,
September 28, 2006 at 16:59
[...] Atrios really is that color. Above: Amanda Congdon interviewing Atrios [...]
Col Bat Guano said,
September 28, 2006 at 23:15
Y’all bitches better recognize up in this piece.
Seriously green apple!
Sadly, No! » ARRRRRRGH!!!! WE’VE TAKEN A DIRECT HIT!!!! said,
December 30, 2006 at 22:27
[...] There is only one weapon that can save us now. It may destroy the entire world in the process, but I’d rather die than surrender to Mr.-I’m-Too-Kewl-to-Name-Bradrocket-Wanker-of-the-Day! [...]