NigNigDammerung

Friends, SadlyNaughts and Countrymen, lend me your ears. I come not to praise, or toss the salad, but to bury it. Twice on the Lupercal we enjoyed the dressing with a hearty and hoary gusto. At thrice, we discovered quickly, that there were not enough toilets in Rome….

Cheap ‘Borscht belt’ gags about the “wife” will likely follow…

Hello fellow travelers, and welcome to a slightly darker* version of the blog. For some reason I have been asked to participate in the show and I consider it a singular honor. Really. It was about a month ago when an email arrived from Cerberus about joining the team and I am pretty sure that within the first seven words I sent in reply was the phrase “are you kidding me.”

Having just examined the email exchange in question, exchange “shitting” for “kidding” and first seven with first four. In the meantime life, liberty and the pursuit of something resembling both have transpired to truncate my visits to this lovely place.

And while I forget what the first outrage which might have generated the sauce for my introduction, the Supreme Court made it imperative as of yesterday.

I am referring to the evisceration of the VRA, by the what passes these days, as the  SCROTUS™ (trademark thingy here. [Not gonna go full hog FYWP just yet] )**.

I will return to examine, in more detail, this particular ruling once I have enjoyed breakfast and read a few smarter than I, as well as get a handle on the reins of this particular platform.

xoxox

*not a white guy, though occasionally mistaken for a CentralAmerican or Quaida.

**could be that as I am composing this on a mac as opposed to my usual Linux environs that I will have to make adjustments to my ASCII style, before blaming WordPress, that is.

ps. having been led down a rabbit hole by Cerb’s most recent offering, (shakes fist in Cerb’s general direction…I  have 3 clown hall tabs open as we speak) I suspect that part of the day will be devoted to bolting GIMP to the mac, and if that is not possible, drinking, while looking for pictures that might be appropriate to bolt the head of John Fund to (and possibly a toilet…if nothing else a screen cap of the Chappelle Show gag about the first black dude to be caught taking a dump in a whites only bathroom should suffice.)

Update: Gimp has been installed, several toilet images found, as well as Profiles in Courage:Toilet Pioneer.

UpdateII: I have now pulled my head out of my ass and figured out how to compose in text as I am used to…Carry on!

Addendum:While I kind of stomped on Cerb’s post below, and you should read it in its entirety bye the way. At this point, almost properly lubricated, I will start with Fund and end with whoever the fuck. I am not sure that I will get past the Goalie before the morrow.

 

Comments: 160

 
 
 

Welcome to the big show, old chum!

 
 

It’s about time somebody gave you the keys!

 
St. Pupienus of Teh Ghey
 

Oh my!

/George Takei impersonation

 
 

Huzzah!

 
 

Welcome.

Also, ‘bolting GIMP to the Mac’ == download disk image., Double click. Drag Gimp thingy to the ‘Programme’ thingy in the finder window that pops up, ’cause they’re effete euorpeans or something that don’t know it’s called ‘Applications’ 🙂

 
 

Woo! Yay Provider! And remember if you let down the Sadly name, we’ll have to boil you in oil as is standard liberal tradition.

 
St. Pupienus of Teh Ghey
 

So make with a fucking post already dammit! Heard on NPR that some asshats are putting together “Support Paula Dean cause she’s just a really nice person and NOT AT ALL RACIST” that might be good mining.

 
 

So, while I was laboriously doing this, new post, so I’m copying it:

I saw this

During his remarks, the Texas governor also described Davis’ filibuster as “hijacking of the Democratic process” and said of the pro-choice movement, “the louder they scream, the more we know that we are getting something done.”

Over at Digby, which she got from Think Progress. My first thought, in addition to my usual “Gov Goodhair sure is dumb as a stump,” was “that sounds like a rapist to me.” Furthermore, one who is proud of it, and sees nothing wrong with it.

 
 

Thanks Cats and Kittens. Appreciate the welcome. Bruce, I think that I was downloading said disk image, as you were making the helpful comment.

Post updated with among other things Pooply goodness.

 
 

Oh, and language nerd here, but it’s “reins.” You might reign from this platform (possibly even rain, but advance warning, please), but you use reins to control it.

 
The black god of time
 

Welcome to the hot tub, Provider.

Remember the first rule of the hot tub:

There is no hot tub.

This has been a PSA for Sadly, No!

All glory to the Hypnotoad!

 
 

Cerb, the ampersandtradesemicolon soes not seem to want to take, though I would not be surprised that i have screwed a pooch or two on the way to the gala.

VC, thank you for the input, will change in a bit (I should know this shit being something of a pedant myself) always feel free to let me know if I am making a bigger idiot out of myself than would ordinarily be necessary.

Pup, I just got GIMP up and running, a picture of fund to play with and wanna work up an original to accompany the first rant.

tbgot, I fucking love the HypnoToad™

 
 

It does occur to me that there might be an edit in html delio like in blogger…I need to poke around in the box…andtradesemi works fine in the comments.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Provider_UNE, welcome to the big time. I am confident that the glare of the spotlight of new media success won’t go to your head. Good job, and we look forward to more great posts.

 
 

P_UNie, do you have the ability to delete posts and ban people who disagree with things you say?

Sadly, yes, Sally, I believe I do indeed.

In fact I believe I can even edit your comments to make you look like a fool, but you do a pretty good job of that yourself, and I likely have better things to do…like foto-shopping the head of a dork to a picture of a cat taking a dump on the toilet and getting something real up before a certain emperor in Portland chews off my head (not before allowing it to sit in a fabulous marinade of course.)

 
 

Thanks Helmut, means alot coming from the likes of you.
:)\

 
 

Like this: ™ doesn’t work? ™ Works for me.

 
 

Pup, I got that trademark shit sorted. I found the tab where it lets me hand code the html. The other pane was adding shit behind the scenes. Familiar with Blogger, new to FYWP. Also while it has been awhile since I was regularly using the GnuImageManipulationProgram I have now successfully bolted the head of a Dork to a cat in a toilet, so I have got that going for me.

Which means it is MillerTime™!

 
 

Heard on NPR that some asshats are putting together “Support Paula Dean cause she’s just a really nice person and NOT AT ALL RACIST” that might be good mining.

I hope the wingnuts decide to eat nothing but butter-laden heartbombs for a month in solidarity.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

I hope the wingnuts decide to eat nothing but butter-laden heartbombs for a month in solidarity.

From your lips to Judge Scalia’s personal chef’s ears.

 
 

OMG! OMG! OMG! Teh UNE has the car keys! Woooo!

 
 

several toilet images found
For some reason I imagine Fund as a tree-shrew taking a dump in a giant pitcher plant.

 
 

Cool. Congrats, UNE.

 
 

OT as always, but I thought you mooks might get a kick out of this what I found linked from the front page of Conservapedia. So you know it’s good.

Caution: Weapons grade stupid.

 
 

An unexpected development, but a welcome one. Godspeed you, sir.

 
 

Caution: Weapons grade stupid.

Followed by two Pennis comments addressed to the wrong SadlyNaughty. Well done HG!

 
 

Careful out there JP! Poor Kymco Super 8. http://i.imgur.com/hBYOgBL.jpg Fucking asswipe in the truck had to be doing 60 when he hit the poor guy. The skid marks are a good 50 – 60 feet long.

 
 

Oh – guy seemed to be in fairly good shape but may have internal injuries. His helmet flew off though – don’t think he had it strapped on correctly. Let that be a WARNING to you!

 
 

Congrats Mr. Provider!

You’ve left footyprints of hilaritude hither and yon and teh status bump is earned!

Now, bitchslap someone!

 
 

Caution: Weapons grade stupid.

I saw your warning, and I went anyway. My first, desperate, thought was that it was a parody site, because no one could really consider those arguments (points? opinions? gotchas?) worth putting out in public. Sadly, I decided that was a serious site, and left before I could indulge my morbid curiosity and look at the links.

As a side note: do none if these fools realize that procreating at less than replacement rate is a good thing? I realize that some people just want large families, and it’s their choice, and not really any of my business, but I think of them as kind of irresponsible – I mean, you coukd indulge your love for a karge family by having maybe one bio child, and adopt the rest, thereby getting that many kids out of the foster system?

 
 

I, for one, welcome our new Provider overloads.

 
 

Seconded c

 
 

Caution: Weapons grade stupid.

Poe wept.

 
 

“take the load off Annie, Put the load right on me”
This is a quote, analogous to the Take the Load off Cerb – you got it now, Provider.
Load – that’s Dennis etc. Plus providing Bread & Circuses to hordes of ravening fans (that’s us).
Our Dear Leader has her own Loads of RL problems to handle, so step up and take the load .
This simple Go, Provider comment kinda morphed. Sorry.

 
Packers the Easygoing Governor
 

You go Provider.

 
 

Fucking asswipe in the truck

I see of lot of that these days.

They must think “Hey! I’m indestructible in this thing! Fuck safety!”

 
The black god of time
 

You haven’t lived until you’ve been in rush-hour traffic in the Philippines.

 
 

You haven’t lived until you’ve been in rush-hour traffic in the Philippines.

I’ll see your Philippines and raise you Istanbul (not Constantinople).

 
 

I like the Dennis=actor212 theory, it fits into the “All One Guy” paradigm.

 
 

What is a “creepy-ass Cracker”?

Gingerbread man with 3 asses?
Siamese elephants in my box of animal crackers?
Rick Perry endorsing rapeyness?

 
 

Congrats Provider-UNE! Well done. Kick some ass!

 
 

What is a “creepy-ass Cracker”?

A phrase so heinous it is apparently a capital crime to utter it.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Welcome to the front page, Provider! I’m looking forward to your take on the repeal of the Voting Rights Act.

 
The black god of time
 

Lindsay Graham in a snail suit, moving along the floor?

 
 

Good luck and have fun!

 
 

I am hooting and hollering. There have been great amounts of hooting and hollering. ONWARD!

 
 

Lindsay Graham in a snail suit, moving along the floor?
Now look what you made me do.

 
 

Smut:

I cannot unsee.

Bastige.

 
 

Smut – If I have nightmares tonight it’s your fault.

 
 

Been a few days since I wandered in to teh Sadlyverse and the first link I see tonight is you jingling the keys to this joint — congrats, UNE! Been running into your comments different places long enough to remember what UNE stands for, which probably tells you plenty. Nothing against Cerb, but variety is nice — I remember this place when there were at least three front-pagers, it was a hell of a lot of fun to read.

 
 

SC@4:01

Its like VS got hold of the brown acid.

 
 

Provider! Fuck Yeah!

Gonna fuck up the motherfucking wingnuts!

Provider! Fuck Yeah!

etc.

 
 

UNE!

Awesomeness!

Sorry to be late to the party.

Would it be racist of me, as a white guy on a scooter, to laugh, point, smile and take a picture of a black guy in the back seat of his buddy’s car, sitting beside (presumably) his girlfriend, smoking a huge blunt, and flipping me the bird while yelling obscenities out the car window?

Dammit.
.

 
 

Fucking asswipe in the truck had to be doing 60 when he hit the poor guy. The skid marks are a good 50 – 60 feet long.

Another reason I live by James Gandolfini’s role-rule: “I live my life in the rear-view mirror.”

Let that be a WARNING to you!

My helmet is always secured before the scooter starts.

I sold quite a few Super 8s back in the day.
.

 
 

And Pup… keep in mind, whatever two-wheeled conveyance you use, there’s nothing one can do to guard against that type of accident, other than keep an eye on the mirrors, and have a Plan B and C.
.

 
 

I got complimented on a meeting I just ran, and thought to myself that a big part of my success lies in not “doing an Alito,” that is, not showing a complete lack of respect for the people with whom I’m working. I’d like to see something like that get into general use. Of course, another part is lots and lots of practice.

 
 

Yayys! Congrats, good luck with the combing the depths of teh wingnutto-sphere.

 
 

Aw-reet P_U!!

Do try to keep ’em short. My attention span shrinks & shrinks as I age ungracefully.

 
 

P.S.: If they’re letting you in the back (They do let you come in the front door, don’t they? No P. Deen stuff, right? ‘Cept maybe the paid in booze part.) maybe you could do something about the “about” & “contact” links in the header (try ’em) what w/ your expertise in that stuff.

 
 

Yay! Between you and me we can create the Paula Deen Dream Wedding!

And everyone must look upon this and LOL.

 
 

“I’m in” … but I hope you could tell.

 
 

And everyone must look upon this and LOL.

HOH. MY. GAWD.

I’m a top, you guys…and you WILL KNOW when I’m in. Word.

 
 

The only way it could get better is if the follow up campaign was Are You In? and Incubus sued.

 
 

I’m a top, you guys

If I had a nickel for every time … I’d just now have a nickel.

 
 

I’m waiting for the “Are you done down there yet?” campaign.

 
 

“Everybody was quite busy and active … A compact and vigorous engagement at close quarters … My most peculiar experience [was] having my sketchbook shot out of my hand and sent whirling over my shoulder.”

 
 

I noticed the guy in the ad has good technique. Stroke the shaft, good posture, lifting with his knees…

 
 

Also, while we’re sucking dicks: CONGRATS PROVIDER! Can’t wait for your first reich-wing junkpunch.

 
 

Also, while we’re sucking dicks

Geez, usually I come too early.

 
 

News flash: Alec Baldwin throws yet another douchey tantrum, and all progressives must be ashamed. Wait, why are you yawning?

 
 

Ah, the cleanup crew is quick and efficient, but I think the snark still works out of context.

 
St. Pupienus of Teh Ghey PENIS and also POOP
 

I noticed the guy in the ad has good technique. Stroke the shaft, good posture, lifting with his knees…

He’s employing the “Up on the backstroke” technique.

 
St. Pupienus of Teh Ghey PENIS and also POOP
 

Tiresome troll is tiresome.

 
St. Pupienus of Teh Ghey PENIS and also POOP
 

Meanwhile, in Pennyslavia, the god squad caucus won’t even let a state rep talk about the SCROTUS mandate that everone has to have buttseks.

 
Dzhokhar Avenger
 

Obviously, Alec’s Obamabot programming has been compromised, and he must be brought in so that he keeps silent about his librul gay hatred which all of us libruls have.

That’s what’s funny about Dennis: He starts out by thinking that libruls are just as hateful, bigoted, and hypocritical as he is, but he doesn’t understand it only demonstrates his lack of insight into others who don’t think like him.

What a black pit of meaninglessness his own life must be, to drive him to come here where he gets deleted on a regular basis, and his envy of all the kool kidz who are in the hot tub.

It’s not too late, Dennis. Take up some volunteer work, join a community group that’s non-political as I have(Friends of the Porterville Library), and above all, try to find people in meatspace you can relate to when you’re not at work refreshing this site in your iPhone.

Add some meaning to your life. Would you like your little antics here be all that people remember you for?

“Well, he did make a difference, denouncing Alec Baldwin on a librul hate/snark blog!”

That’s how you’ll be memorialized if you were to keel over today, Dennis.

And that wouldn’t be just tragic, it would be a waste.

 
 

Could it be possible that a progressive guy is a hot-headed asshole? NEVER!!

Could it be that phony indignation is boring and stupid and childish? TOTALLY

 
 

Shake’s link above led to this tangent as well, hilarious: http://www.balloon-juice.com/2013/06/28/what-the-duck/

 
 

Did you hear about the guy in San Diego on trial for vandalism (using sidewalk chalk)? The judge has ruled that no mention of the First Amendment, free expression, etc. may be used by his attorney, since CA’s vandalism statute doesn’t mention the First.

 
 

Just got done perusing some mangoes over at KLOs “OMG Bert and Ernie are so gay and happy for gays” post.

 
Atypical Sadly, No! hetero progressive
 

Are you really upset about Alec Baldwins’ twitters, Dennis? Yea or nea, that’s a simple question even a limited mentality, let alone yours, should be able to answer.

 
The black god of time
 

Dennis, I’ll be glad to drop the folks you mentioned a line about getting into the hot tub with the rest of us, but don’t hold your breath about it.

 
The black god of time
 

Dennis isn’t in the hot tub!
Dennis isn’t in the hot tub!

 
 

The only way it could get better is if the follow up campaign was Are You In? and Incubus sued.

“Reach around the Supreme Court to defend marriage”.

 
The black god of time
 

Dennis, some libruls are being mean to K-Lo here. She’s outdone you in the butthurt department today, the natural result of a top professional versus a talented amateur such as yourself.

 
The black god of time
 

I’m sorry nobody else thinks your delusional rantings worth responding to, Denny.

 
 

You wanna know what’s pissing me off right now? Gravity. It sucks.

 
 

some libruls are being mean to K-Lo here.

The “New Yorker” cover is awesome. Poor K-Lo, she’s going to have to cloister herself.

 
 

K-Lo titled her post “Innocence. Lost.” What’s with the extra period? I hate that sorta thing. Advertisements have done it to death. She has actually robbed her sentiment of any gravity (not that I sympathize).

If I owned a fish-and-chips joint, for example, and I hired an agency to design an ad campaign, and they came up with the slogan “Fish. Fried.” I would mock and fire them. But in fact you can get paid for that level of creativity.

 
 

Off to play a 5 hour show in the 90° heat. If I don’t make it back, tell ’em all I died with my boots flip–flops on.

 
 

some libruls are being mean to K-Lo here.

Gosh, I’m sorry. I thought conservatives were supposed to be, you know, tough.

How knew they were such fragile little flowers?

 
 

What to do bet the guy who left this comment at NRO thinks English should be our national language?–

The only thing that should be done is build the fence and start sending the ones who do not want to be going thru the leagle channels send back home. [Emphasis mine]

 
 

Major Kong’s error and the one that I mocked are of different types.

Kong simply scrambled the three letters in the anagrammatic words “who” and “how.” Probably a keyboard error, as you say, uncorrected in haste. That’s fine, and nobody cares.

However, I won’t buy that someone who knows how to spell “legal” might accidentally type “leagle.” No, that was the error of a person who is more familiar with kleagles, and perhaps beagles, than the law or the English language conservatives profess to love and defend.

Besides, the amusing word “leagle” (my mind leapt to “illeagle,” a word that should really exist and have multiple meanings) is imbedded in a shitty sentence typed in haste by an idiot.

Like many folks around here, I constantly marvel not just at the NRO bloggers, but the crappy commentariat. If you don’t care for this sort of thing, take a powder.

 
 

Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made a typo. Probably won’t be the last.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Well, it’s hard to say isn’t it? I have a facebook friend, who while no Rhodes Scholar, is perfectly coherent when speaking, but due to serious dyslexia, his updates sometimes take a while to puzzle out. I know people for whom English is a second or third language whose prose is perfectly comprehensible but show a lack of fluency. So we don’t know if the NRO commenter is working against difficulties that are invisible to us.

What we do know, is that even if he wrote prose with as much ease and clarity as your favorite author (assuming that isn’t James Joyce), is that the sentiment is odious. It reeks of nativism and classism with a hint of implied racism. It is an overly simplistic solution to a complex problem. It gleefully abandons our history of welcoming immigrants (OK, some immigrants) and integrating them into our society. It ignores the contributions immigrants of all statuses have made to modern America. It ignores the complicity of established interests that encourage illegal immigration and hire (and exploit) undocumented workers. And it embraces the most odious features of the totalitarian regimes the west spent so much time vilifying and fighting over the last hundred years.

So, in conclusion, firstly, that person would benefit from an editor and secondly, that person can go fuck himself.

 
 

I’m sure if I gave up my last few shreds of human dignity I could probably some right-wing billionaire to hire me to spout talking points on demand.

I wouldn’t consider that to be particularly “successful” because I’d still have to look at myself in the mirror every day.

 
 

Fair point, but as for the NRO bloggers, most if not all of them are fairly successful, and not just as writers and bloggers.

Right. There are alot of them, and most have other gigs. It’s a dizzying roster — even the editors, I bet, lose track of it. But let’s agree that none of them depend on blogging. The NRO model wouldn’t allow for that, anyway.

Take Jonah Goldberg. Yes, he’s successful in the narrow sense you’re apparently using. But he’s a failure in important respects. I won’t elaborate. I have standards other than income, pedigree, social status; Jonah doesn’t meet those standards.

The folks here sometimes beg for basic sustenance, but then claim to enjoy others tears and pretend to feast on Schadenfreude pie. That makes no sense to me.

All I can tell you is that if I made a list of heroes, fine people of all types, many of them could be said to have begged for food or shelter, or taken hospitality or charity. I’m more concerned with whatever else they did. Great art, great deeds, worthy adventures — all are worth a bit of risk or privation. Worth the vulnerability of relying on others who might or might not understand your vision and journey. Worth making enemies and taking stands that might result in hardship. Do you get that?

No, Dennis, you don’t understand why Cerberus rejoices in drinking the bitter tears of her enemies …

Gotta go for at least a few hours.

 
 

Helmut’s right, and well-put.

I do get a little petty when I’m wasting time at blogs. He’s made the more important points.

 
 

…Take Jonah Goldberg…
Please.

But did someone say: Bring on the Gimp?

“…As we stand on the cusp of this New America, it’s understandable to feel some anxiety. If you take sociology and culture seriously, it’s sensible to wonder whether this is the sort of country we want to be . . . Soon there will be no dominant block, just complex networks of fluid streams — Vietnamese, Bengalis, Kazakhs . . . ”

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/28/opinion/brooks-a-nation-of-mutts.html

 
 

The folks here sometimes beg for basic sustenance, but then claim to enjoy others tears and pretend to feast on Schadenfreude pie.

You are remarkably obtuse.

 
 

Bye Dennis, again.

And bye Becky as well on a separate comment.

And for everyone else. There’ll be periodic cleaning crews going around, but if you need to flag one down, my email address continues to be cerberussadlyno@gmail.com.

To our banned trolls, that is your one and only avenue for appealing whatever insane bad faith horseshit you’d like. Hell, feel free to send a thousand emails a day if it gets your rocks off. Cause here?

You’re not even the slightest bit welcome and it’s far past time you moved the fuck on with your life.

Now if you’ll excuse me everyone, I’ve got to go be proud to be transgendered!

 
 

Happy long weekend fellow Canuckistanis!

 
 

My personal hero is lying dying at the moment. He has had some bad times in his life and now Madiba is leaving.
The official grieving won’t start until he’s actually gone, but the unofficial, like mine, has begun already.

 
 

Soon there will be no dominant block, just complex networks of fluid streams — Vietnamese, Bengalis, Kazakhs . . . ”

In other words, the borough of Queens.

 
 

A lady in a bar is approached by an unkempt, clearly overweight and twitching individual;

“Hi, my name’s Dennis… look, can I buy you a drink?”

The lady, being liberal and open minded thinks well, he’s obviously pretty poorly socialised, but I’ll give him a chance; poor sod doesn’t look like he gets many. “Ok, sit down. Why not tell me about yourself?”

Dennis rubs his badly shaved chins, and tries to think what impresses women; “Oh, I’m a moral person, unlike most of the shameless people today. I earn tonnes of money too. ”

Already the lady can feel her skin start to crawl, but Dennis blithely charges on “I keep myself up to date on what’s happening in the world, I read all the right, and I do mean Right blogs… and I make sure lies are challenged on the wrong ones!”

Looking again at his late-night Nixon-stuble, the lady sighs and says “I’ll bet you spend plenty of time at that, eh?” Dennis, unable to understand nuance, fails to see the social cue that he’s blowing it already, and thinks this is a suggestion he explain more; “Oh yes, I’m everywhere, a complete political machine; I’m active on so many blogs, and those mindless liberals try to ban me, but they’re not so smart, I keep changing my IP address to get around their bans… heck, sometimes I’ll post from cafes on their wifi, they daren’t block those!”

“And you do this all night, huh?”

“Oh yeah, ever since that bitch left me. She …” But even Dennis isn’t shielded from reality enough to be able to ignore the look of disgust that crosses the ladies’ face at that comment. “No, I mean, look… I saw you and I thought there’s someone who looks moral, not like my ex. All she wanted was…”

At this, the lady gets up, putting one hand in her purse, as if reaching for something. “Sorry Dennis, but I don’t think I want to continue this conversation.” She walks away, at which Dennis goes to the bar, and proceeds to order what he thinks is a manly drink… then starts complaining to the barkeep about “That bitch who thinks she’s so much better than me.”

“Buddy, listen; that lady’s a regular here. And very well liked. Learn some class huh?” Dennis however just sees this as yet another example of how society is being corrupted…. Staggering out the door, drunk more on fumes of impotent rage, he goes straight home… and turns his computer back on again. “I’ll show them” he thinks “I’ll go straight to Sadly No! And Oliver Willis! And the 10 or so other blogs where I long ago outlived any sense of welcome and set the world to Rights! I’ll be as smart as I know I am, and everyone who reads my comments will see how right I was all along!”

And then everyone in the comments sees straight through Dennis and their skin starts to crawl…

 
 

Looking forward to a new voice here. Hopefully more prolifically. Of course, I am going out of town with no internet access. forgive spelling errors, I am in vacation mode and can’t be bothered to spellcheck

 
 

Congrats on the cherry gig!

 
 

UNE is a long time pal, and I hope he considers me the same.
.

 
 

Hey, I didn’t know classy motherfuckers read this blog!
.

 
 

my mind leapt to “illeagle,” a word that should really exist and have multiple meanings

Here in WA, the big-boy fireworks are sold on the Indian reservations, out of little plywood shacks strung out along the highway. One of them is called “Ill Eagle Fireworks.” I chuckle every time I go by because it works on so many levels.

 
 

Here in WA, the big-boy fireworks are sold on the Indian reservations

Here in Ohio it’s legal to sell fireworks, just not to have them.

The fireworks stands along the interstate make you sign a disclaimer that says you’re (wink-wink nudge-nudge) taking them out of the state.

 
 

You’re not even the slightest bit welcome and it’s far past time you moved the fuck on with your life.

I am disappointed to encounter weird obsessive behaviour on the Interducts, which I thought to be a safe refuge from such things.

 
 

Soon there will be no dominant block, just complex networks of fluid streams — Vietnamese, Bengalis, Kazakhs…

Nativist Brooks is nativist:
We could soon see people with completely unaccented English joining Chinese-American Federations and Honduran-American Support Networks.

“Unaccented”? HA HA HA

 
 

It’s a snark blog, Smut.

This term, “snark blog,” I do not think it means what you think it means.

A “snark blog” is not defined as a place to hang around where you’re not wanted and POOP in the punchbowl.

 
The black god of time
 

I’m sorry to report that the description of Dennis is correct, down to the double chins and being unshaven.

 
 

I am disappointed to encounter weird obsessive behaviour on the Interducts, which I thought to be a safe refuge from such things.

I’m going to needlepoint that on a throw pillow and hump the hell out of said pillow.

 
The black god of time
 

I’m sorry they won’t let you in the hot tub, Dennis. Maybe you can get a blogging gig with Renew America.

 
 

Soon there will be no dominant block, just complex networks of fluid streams — Vietnamese, Bengalis, Kazakhs…

Nativist Brooks is nativist:
We could soon see people with completely unaccented English joining Chinese-American Federations and Honduran-American Support Networks.

And all of those people will sing “Happy Birthday” at parties (and get sued for IP infringement), eat hot dogs (though perhaps veggie ones) on the Fourth of July, and drink Bud while they watch the game (whatever game they wish to watch). In other words, they’ll all be Americans.

 
 

I’m going to needlepoint that on a throw pillow and hump the hell out of said pillow.

Pics or GTFO.

/meme

 
 

 . . . Soon there will be no dominant block, just complex networks of fluid streams — Vietnamese, Bengalis, Kazakhs . . .

I saw that quote and thought “… and the downside of this is??”

Attention Bobo: a constantly changing mix of ideas and cultures is part of what has helped the US do so well. Well, that and enormous natural resources which certain of us persist in POOPing on.

And isn’t it bloc?

 
The black god of time
 

Dennis, I love it when you try to sweet talk me, but I’m in good shape for a man my age, I think you need to find another channel for your homosexual fantasies about what you want in a man.

 
 

That’s one of the most pure Brooks columns in a while. I can’t go back and look at it, I just can’t, but even that tiny snippet I quoted above has exploding phrases of Brook flowing above jackhammers of bejesus:

” . . . as we stand on the cusp of this New America . . . ”

” . . . it’s understandable to feel some anxiety if you take sociology and culture seriously . . . ”

” . . . it’s sensible to wonder . . .”

and

” . . . COMPLEX NETWORKS OF FLUID STREAMS . . . ”

Taibbi underestimates Brooks.

 
 

And all of those people will sing “Happy Birthday” at parties (and get sued for IP infringement), eat hot dogs (though perhaps veggie ones) on the Fourth of July, and drink Bud while they watch the game (whatever game they wish to watch). In other words, they’ll all be Americans.

See? This is why I sit down and shaddup.
.

 
 

Pupienius refuses to contemplate but I can’t help wonder if Dan Blatt and that Phyllis Shafley kid that runs conservapedia get together for self-hate sex

 
 

All Brooks columns shorter: My friends think that if my IQ was a point lower, I’d have to be watered twice daily. Hey, look!, I write for the NY Times op/ed page!

(Was it Hitchens who wrote the potted plant insult for Diana?)

 
 

Nativism, that reminds me … I was unclear earlier. I can be a real pedant, I won’t argue otherwise. But earlier I highlighted an NRO commenter’s poor spelling and grammar, apropos immigration. (I skirted the content, except by being a righteous dick, but H. Monotreme addressed that aspect.)

English is the world’s lingua franca now, but American nativists do talk as if it’s their flag, just like they think of their culture as U.S. culture, period. They’re chauvinist morons, in other words, so they’re always blathering in broken English about how we can’t have an immigration bill, or public services in locally-relevant tongues, or proper language instruction in the public schools they’d like to see gutted because brown kids might benefit.

This is the context in which I savage an NRO commenter who types “leagle.”

 
 

Hail the new Mod!

Hmmm … speaking of mods, it turns out maybe you CAN teach an old sword new tricks: Lulznir The Ever-Thirsty, Harvester Of Asshats just got a custom job & now has fixtures for attaching BOTH a rocket launcher & a turbocharger … if someone was to want to just borrow it & take it for a spin, that is.

 
 

We’ve already done some Sadly, No! blogger ass-kissing in this thread, but I want to add to it before I lose my train of thought.

I don’t know all that much about Cerberus and Provider — just a fraction of what they’ve divulged online. There are, however, a few things of which I’m certain. First, these two have led interesting lives, by my standards; their stories and perspectives are unusual and valuable, and not merely by virtue of obvious markers like minority status. Second, these are unusually intelligent and resourceful people, who give the impression of being near the height of their powers (how would I gauge?) in that they communicate with rare intensity, urgency, and humanity.

If I was forced to choose teams on the basis of limited information, these two would be among my first picks. They don’t seem to have much money, on the other hand … conservatives, take note.

(No offense to this blog’s founders: I can’t comment on you in this vein.)

 
 

Stalk-us was using a clever email addy and possibly a Proxy to get his last bits past the Goalie. I’ll have to investigate further when time allows.

I would like to thank everyone for their support, wonder what the fuck I have gotten myself into, in the “wait a minute, I visited certain places aligned with a ‘we read this so you do not have to’ kinda gumption. And now I have become one of them, which to my mind means bringing the A-Game always. I hope that I don’t let you hilarious and erudite, hyperbolic and Puntastic, Surprising and Herprising Humans down.

Still processing the fact that I have been given the keys to the back door, been deemed worthy, yet now find myself with tremendous shoes to fill…I’ll look into the contact thingy and returning the links to the side of the page instead of the bottom (a problem on my Linux Box and the iMac.)

Dennis/Sally/Betsy/Whatever the fuck you come up with next in an attempt to circumvent a prior banhammerwill be dealt with. I may allow the regulars to sharpen their claws with you and the later comers enjoy the attempt at parsing context, but I just want you to know that you are now on my shit list.

Everybody else (shout to JP), thanks for being so awesome. I have a couple of things in the works, but have to work tomorrow and have a show to play in the evening…Wooohoooo!!! and then work on Sunday. Probably have something up that evening with the promised words on the VRA and something about the Martin Trial to follow shortly.

I sincerely doubt that I will be capable of anything north of a thousand words, will be somewhat reluctant to do shorter’s (given the general requirement of reading the entire piece) might play Masthead and First sentence from time to time…I’ll attempt to assemble the A-game from three to five times a week…

 
 

I saw that quote and thought “… and the downside of this is??”

Right? More variety in restaurants, mostly inexpensive ones.

English is the world’s lingua franca now

Mostly due to hip-hop and internet porn. THAT’s what’s got right-wingers so upset.

 
 

Apparently I managed to screw myself and shitcan a relatively long and detailed comment responding to a number of you regarding specifics and nearly all of you regarding how much I appreciate your welcome. As well as a notice to Dennis that he was on my BanHammer shitlist and why.

Shorter me: You guys have been awesome, and while I feel a small amount of trepidation with regards to having access to the back door and attempting to entertain an extremely brilliant crowd, I will do my best to serve this place and its community with my best.

JP, love you always!

CRA, I consider you among the most cogent wordsmiths and passionate thinkers in the room and consider your kind words a treasure.

/let’s see if I can fuck this up

 
 

JP shout!

Got one nearly finished with original Gimp-o-shop, needs editing. Have another mapped out…Jesus, take unpaid job required to make really smart people laugh…What the fuck was I thinking. I seemed to have lost a couple of comments of which the shorter boils down to: Thank the fuck out of you people for being so nice and welcoming. For some reason I still am not sure I am worthy.

Gotta work tomorrow and play a gig tomorrow night, Work on Sunday morning, then attend to business on my ‘weekend’. I am sure the Cerb will have something up in the interim.

Again thank you cats and kittens. 🙂

/crosses fingers

 
 

Trans March was great. It was even larger this year than it’s ever been, with a heck ton more spectator support on the sidelines than previous years. A little awkward ending though, with the cops angrily shoving us into a tiny packed area that looked to be in the middle of nowhere (it actually was the site of the Compton Cafeteria Riot, which was badass).

… Wait, something something, bitter about life. Only am transgendered to make bigots cry.

 
 

Oh and CRA, thanks for the kind words. I had a more elegant rejoinder in the previously lost comments. For what it is worth, you would be on my A-Team as well.
,,,

 
 

Giant comment thread group hug!

 
 

Cerb, glad that you had a great time, did some housecleaning in your stead. We’ll need to discuss filters, etc.

 
 

Mostly due to hip-hop and internet porn. THAT’s what’s got right-wingers so upset.

What? They thought they could keep the internet porn all to themselves?

 
Dennis Gene the Butthurt Machine
 

Pay attention to me!

 
 

New post!

And Happy Pride, everyone!

 
Amanda Marcotte
 

Dennis Gene, why do you hate women?

 
Dennis Gene the Butthurt Machine
 

I’m Dennis Gene the butthurt Machine.
I’m no fool I’m not a tool
I comment here with a mint in my mouth
Please, don’t be loud
And tell my spouse
Or she’ll beat me again
While callling me a louse.

 
Dennis Gene the Butthurt Machine
 

I love doxxing people, even got my lovely wife Rebecca to help me write the last comment.

 
Dennis Gene the Butthurt Machine
 

And I want to thank my two lovely and talented daughters who took time away from their summer schedules to help me dox Aqualung and his noble spouse, the Martha Stewart of the P. I.

 
Don't Fear the Beaver
 

Level of Dedication released their first record in June of 1977. While it is true that Harry Shearer was listed as a band member on “Appetite for Pancras”, he never appeared on any recording or any live performance until then.

 
Get Chutney Love
 

What’s all this then?

 
 

DA, what I’m hearing through the grapevine is that quite a few people are still offended that you were so rude and bigoted toward the two trans women at my blog a few months ago. They’re still a bit angry that you called them male-gendered names and basically said they were ugly by comparing Ann Coulter to them.

If they have names and e-mail addies behind them, I’d be glad to address their concerns. My own current e-mail is lamontcranberries(at)gmail(dot)com.

I thought enough time had lapsed that they’d have forgotten, but when you posted that picture making fun of the kid with Down syndrome in the Superman costume, apparently that opened the wound again

Are you talking about this picture here?

Sorry, a little too soon for the blogging gig I’m afraid.

That’s okay, I’m doing Rev. Canon Chasuble, D.D. in The Importance of Being Earnest at the Barn Theater these days. We’re set to open at the end of August.

You wouldn’t happen to know any blowhards, people who act like they’re smarter than they are, on which I could model my performance, do you?

 
 

As an Idealist, I don’t believe in Substance, Dennis. See Bishop Berkeley for more details.

 
 

I’m sorry you’re so aggrieved about my father. Why don’t you write him @ brapidray@aol.com and tell him so. A dialog between the two of you would be interesting.

 
 

I’m an asshat.

 
 

No, I’m an asshat.

 
 

Don’t listen to those imposters.

 
The black god of time
 

I guess you can’t read, can you, Pennis? Since you’ve clearly demonstrated you ability to spoof ISPs, that statement is no longer operative.

Conditional statements, how the f*ck do they work?

Keep bringing in the asshurt, Pennis, it makes you appear so mature, even @ 5:XX AM Eastern Daylight Savings Time.

Have a good hour, cowboi.

 
The black god of time
 

Dennis, bite me.

 
 

Just for you, I changed the name of my blog. It no longer memorializes the name of your dry drunk buddy. Click my nym to discover what I call it now.

 
 

Dennis, if you’re asshurt over a broken promise more than the person the promise was made to, you might just be a psycho. I’m hoping to expand on that topic tomorrow, probably around 1 or 2 in the morning my time.

See you around, cowboi.

 
 

I hope you don’t end up like your dry drunk buddy, an old disease-ridden husk of a man who nobody wants to be around.

 
 

I don’t remember Frand DiSalle being called an asshole by other conservatives and having killfiles created because other conservatives wanted ignore his posts, like several liberals here did to you, DA.

Frank, why must you be dumb?

I also don’t remember anyone asking why I was dumb.

Thanks for reminding me of that, cowboi. Now, get some sleep, you have a big day coming tomorrow, right @ 9:00 AM.

 
 

Also:

“What I said, and what I meant, was that if he were first, there would have been no negative assessment of the American people. I even said “you all would be just as surprised” about 19 or 20 words into the comment.”

So Oliver said Obama shouldn’t outpoll either Teddy Roosevelt or Truman, but somehow he could be first and that would be fine?

Explain that math to me.

God, calling you dumb is a compliment.

 
 

(comments are closed)