American Thinker Prepares for Pride
When the mangos below get too much, feel free to scroll back up and enjoy the dulcet queerness of this overused photoshop.
Noah Beck, American Mastermind:
Middle East Gay Pride and LGBT Safety Exist Only in Israel
It is not our place as mere mortals, living in the squalor that is our inferior and ignorance-filled lives to deign question the superior space brains of the resident super-geniuses at American Thinker. Their ways are simply far too elaborate and intellectual for us to even contemplate without igniting our poor minds and burning to a crisp.
And thus, as their busy minds occasionally drift from their day to day important considerations of such weighty matters as “Is a President born in America if enough assholes really don’t want him to have been?” or “Can one make a scandal-heavy presidency just by fapping loud enough?” to dwell on such pedestrian matters as the upcoming Pride season, we should feel naught but honour that our intellectual betters would even lower themselves to turn their attentions to us.
Even if some, heretical forces, may question and lightly jibe to hide their envy, at the seeming… hypocrisy and bad faith, especially when their posts largely consist of…
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Israel is further along on gay rights issues (as long as we ignore the rabidly right-wing “orthodox” factions that we personally say should be given more and more power) than the other Middle Eastern nations. Therefore, anyone who recognizes the human rights abuses that the Israeli state is committing on the Palestinians or the wars they are trying to ignite against other countries, is anti-gay-rights! Ha! Take that, lefties!
Things said merry makers of jest may interpret in their limited way as being painfully disingenuous and a pathetic last-minute attempt to co-opt a movement that has been rather successful of late in winning over public regard, despite the “best intentions” of those powerful wise men to dissuade society from considering such foul vermin fully human.
Clayton E. Cramer, American Braniac Supercomputer:
‘I Was Born This Way’
Perhaps, extremely ill-informed and uncharitable readings of their 12th level intellects may misinterpret their varied and nuanced takes on the most perplexing of notions (the existence of queer people) as simply a tired and rehashed litany of ancient bigotries traded around an endless circle jerk of dullards repeating the words of a Holocaust-denying engineer of an Ugandan genocide.
But that would be a cruelty only befitting us poor peasants and is not to be even thought of placing on the same CONTINENT as our highly-enlightened masters at the American Omniscience.
(Oh, by the by, TRIGGER WARNING for sexual assault and rape apologetics, those who need it*)
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- I dun heard about how that dere Lady Gaga has been singing about people born ways and shit, so I wanted to cite some wingnut non-papers and misinterpret some real science in order to support the tired litany of Scott Lively bullshit about queers only existing because they were pussy enough to be raped by perverts who were probably gay themselves, because that’s the only way fags reproduce.
I mean… er… that is to say…
Fuck it, they are complete neanderthals.
So yeah, our mango roast for this evening is yet another rehash of the same set of 5-6 arguments wingnuts cycle through and try and refresh from time to time to try and argue that reality isn’t and all that nasty evidence that queer people exist and we can’t change that is somehow not actually true.
Clayton E. Pigfucker here tries and spice up this tired rehashing of some of the more egregious example of ascientific homophobic bigotry with some attempts at academic competence that would make a college freshman sigh and shake his head, but it doesn’t exactly take the intellect of Mentoc the Mindtaker to divine what his game is, to say the least.
One of the more effective arguments used by those arguing for same-sex marriage and sexual orientation anti-discrimination laws is that homosexuals have no choice in the matter — that sexual orientation is something that you are born with, and you can’t change it. The claim is that this is a natural part of human variability, no different from skin color or hair color or how tall you are. As an acquaintance — a generally conservative, gay high power rifle shooter (talk about being a member of the world’s smallest cross-section of identity groups) told me once, “Why would anyone choose to be gay?”
Which is a question he will in no way seek to answer in the course of this post!
There is pretty persuasive evidence that what determines sexual orientation, at least for some homosexuals, is environmental.
Which he will in no way actually seek to provide (Get used to that statement, we’ll probably be using it a lot this post).
At a minimum, the evidence of a connection between being sexually abused as a child and homosexual or bisexual orientation as an adult is so widespread that the refusal of the scientific community to seriously consider a causal connection suggests a willful blindness.
Well, you know, given how the scientific community is apparently engaging in elaborate cover-up schemes to try and hide, oh let’s look at the list here, the massive evidence that proves so-called anthropogenic climate change a lie, the fact that the Earth is only 6000 years old and dinosaurs and evolution are lies, the genetic inferiority of women and black people, the genetic superiority of white people who are also men, all the proof that 1950s gender roles are hard-coded into our DNA, the real Kenyan birth certificate of Barack Obama, and the existence of aliens and Bigfoot, it’s honestly kind of odd for a conservative true believer to be surprised at the International Science Conspiracy for giving them the runaround on those non-existent queer people as well.
It’s just… what they do, man.
It’s just what they do.
The paper-
One more thing, about that previous paragraph. The word “causal” is one the scientific community is very careful about, because it is all about one thing directly resulting from the other. So like, if you say removed a gene coding for an enzyme that broke down carbohydrates into glucose, there would be a causal effect of removing that enzyme from the system, because the gene causes the enzyme to exist in the body.
Which is why Clayton E. Stereotype About Idahoans’s attempt to rant about dem damn scienamatists hiding the causal link is extra fucking stupid. Because no matter how much more convenient to right-wing propaganda it would be if every single homo-, bi-, pan-, trans-, and a-sexual known to man had been raped as a child, that is something that has painfully obviously not happened and further more he will (say it altogether children) in no way seek to provide in the course of his “scienamatific post on dem queers”.
But hey, it won’t stop him trying to insinuate that and much much more greatest hits from the height of the AIDS scare. So let’s just make it a drinking game.
The paper “Sexual Abuse, Sexual Orientation, and Obesity in Women,” published in the Journal of Women’s Health, examined the relationship between obesity and lesbianism — a relationship that has long been recognized but never systematically explored. What the researchers found was that lesbians in their sample of women over 35 were more likely than the heterosexual women to have a “previous mental health diagnosis” and to be well-educated, and significantly more likely to be obese (40.2% compared to 30.4%). Most importantly, lesbians were almost twice as likely as matched heterosexual women to be have been victims of “intrafamilial” child sexual abuse (CSA), and more than twice as likely to be victims of extrafamilial CSA. Suddenly, the wall of fat that is one stereotype of lesbianism makes a lot of sense — something to drive away men, and make them stop seeing the lesbian as a sexual object.
Lesbians are fat-asses who refuse to fuck men only because they are damaged goods and not because of any actual sexual agency of their own? Take a shot!
As far as the paper itself, well, it’s kind of a mess, trying to study way too much all at once, without any real focus or narrowing necessary to really deliver any meaningful conclusions. A lot of the bits on obesity and child sexual abuse seem to come with a bit of the “shot in the dark” studying that’s been going on in most general public health research on obesity and there’s a little bit too much “conclusion grasping” for my tastes, but then I prefer my science to err on the conservative side of coming to any correlation or causation conclusions.
In particular, I take special objection to the way they determined their sexual abuse statistics what with it being a total of 3 self-report questions, splitting up to ONE single question for each of the categories (intrafamilial, extrafamilial, and general sexual abuse), which anyone who has even done a smidgen of sociology research in their life can tell you is just about the SINGLE WORST method of gaining usable data, especially on sexual assault, there is. And it’s rather firmly demonstrated by their sexual assault in heterosexual populations numbers being a bit skewed from other studies.
Additionally, their category of “mental health diagnoses” consists solely again of one self-report question each asking only about depression or anxiety disorders, which is then referred to in the rest of the paper and in the tables only as “previous mental health diagnoses” which is… really skeevy academic practice to say the least.
And that’s before noting that their demographics in general are pretty far off the Pittsburgh area they are set in (which doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but since there was the half-hearted attempt to include race, it doesn’t help), not much combined population analyses despite the wideness of the study, and of course the fact that google reveals that about the only people taking the study seriously are the dedicated homophobes and well… yeah. I don’t want to say they are hacks, but it’s not the greatest study overall and with regards to lesbianism and sexual assault in general, existing studies on the link (specifically the much more robust Bradford, Ryan, and Rothblum study cited in page 1) usually find the population of childhood sexual assault to be rather similar among lesbians compared to the general female population.
The only difference tends to be lesbian populations, often also being more feminist-inclined populations, often have better support and awareness of childhood sexual abuse issues which can allow some an easier time being out about as a molestation survivor if compared to a more conservative and repressed community.
Which is one of the many reasons why self-report single question is a terrible fucking way to gauge actual sexual assault levels.
This is not just a problem for women who were CSA victims. Here’s a study of the among between sexual orientation, CSA, and suicidal behavior among college students in Turkey. The study found that “[s]elf-reported childhood sexual abuse was associated with same-sex sexual behavior. … Being sexually abused by someone of one’s own sex was related to same-sex sexual orientation in male participants but not in female participants. Childhood sexual abuse was found to be an independent predictor of both suicidal ideation and attempts during the past 12 months.” So why are suicide rates among homosexuals so high? Is it really a homophobic society? Or is it possible that CSA leads both to high suicide rates and to homosexuality?
Ha! All those studies you so-called scientists have done noting that high suicide rates among queer youth is rather dramatically caused by homophobic and transphobic bullying and general culture? Well, nuh uh, it’s just because you were child rape fags! Take that!
I… Just take a shot. You’ll need it.
Where to even begin… no. Just no. Um, well the study is yet another self-report of childhood sexual abuse, which again, is not a terribly great method of determining actually useful molestation statistics, especially if one population is more likely to be more comfortable talking about experiences of that kind than another. Just reading the abstract I can also see a few more potential problem spots in the question design and definitely in the conclusions. Other more robust studies of the type have again, seen no such correlation, though the independent links between both being queer and increased suicide rates and being molested as a kid and increased suicide rates are supported elsewhere.
Which yeah, duh. When traumatic shit happens to you, whether it be a society that treats you like something lesser because of something you were born as or being raped as a kid, it tends to do all sorts of exciting psychological damage which yes, can include increased suicidal ideation.
Luckily, wingnuts seem to be the only group I’ve encountered yet who seem to regard that fact with glee because of their demented idea that if queer people are all suicidal this somehow gets them more off the hook for bullying them.
The Journal of the American Medical Association published a review of 166 studies of the sexual abuse of boys, and while, unsurprisingly, it did its best to avoid suggesting a connection between CSA and adult sexual orientation, it does not take much reading to see some obvious connections.
Yeah, it’s not really in there. The closest the paper even really gets is a brief speculation on whether or not gay, bisexual, or gender-non-conforming children are specifically targeted by rapists given the reality that marginalized populations in general tend to be more targeted in general for sexual assault (similarly disabled populations are a “popular” target for child rapists)
And again, worth noting, that while the population of children who have experienced rape is painfully, unforgivably high, it is not even remotely close to the 100% figure, Clayton E. Horserapist wants to suggest it’s at.
And it’s worth noting that:
This description of clinical outcomes of these boys is terribly depressing:
[I]ncreased rates of posttraumatic stress disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, paranoia, dissociation, somatization, bulimia, anger, aggressive behavior, poor self-image, poor school performance, running away from home, and legal trouble. … The rates among sexually abused compared with nonabused males were 4-fold for major depression (P< .001); 3-fold for bulimia (P<.05); and at least 2-fold for antisocial personality disorder (P = .002), behavior problems (P = .03), low self-image (P = .04), runaway behavior (P<.001), and legal problems (P = .001). ... The rate of attempted suicide was 1.5 to 14 times higher among sexually abused compared with nonabused males.
He bothers to actually cite a paper for this little section of many of the psychological factors created by our societal poor responses to the epidemic of child rape, but didn’t bother to cite the “clear reading” that teh gays are totally caused because they were rape victims.
And the high suicide rate among gay young people is supposed to be because of our homophobic society? Maybe there is another cause — one that causes high suicide rates among young straight CSA victims, too?
… Ah, so that’s why he bothered to cite that section, because ignoring the legitimate pain and suffering of those who have been raped to try and hand-wave the bodies that homophobic and transphobic bullying and bigotry have single-handedly help create.
I mean, even if he was right and every single gay person on the planet was raped as a child, how exactly would it make the actions by homophobes better? No, see, it’s okay that I said you were a worthless pile of shit whose very sexuality means you deserve to die horribly. After all, you were probably going to kill yourself anyways over the uncovering of your rape by your uncle!
I… ugh… speaking particularly as someone who has dealt with nasty transphobic bigotry at the same time as processing sexual assault, the stacking doesn’t cancel out so much as well… stack.
There is a well-known connection between CSA and later substance abuse. There is also a well-known and thoroughly studied connection between homosexuality and substance abuse.
Queers are druggies! Take a shot.
And if you’re the type of idiot who then doesn’t immediately think, huh, I wonder if that has anything to do with drug abuse being a common coping mechanism for stress and trauma in general and may very well be caused by the rampant homophobia queer populations suffer that considers them worthless people, then take a very different type of shot (of empathy not gunpowder… Bob, you people are dark).
Here’s a study from the American Journal of Public Health exploring sexual orientation, CSA, and “HIV-Risk Behaviors” among adolescent kids in the Pacific Northwest. This study found what others have found — “gay/lesbian and bisexual adolescents are at increased risk for sexual victimization.” But which causes which? That Journal of the AMA review described the average age of CSA victims this way: “Reported mean age of first abuse was 5.3 to 8.5 years in studies of children. In a study of adolescents, the mean age of reported abuse onset was older (10 years for those abused by males and 11.9 years for those abused by females). A study of adults recalling their abuse histories noted a similar age of onset of 9.8 years.” Which came first? The sexual abuse or the confused sexual identity?
The sexual identity, because you are born with it. I could lock up a child in a room with the most family-values spewing sicko I can find for 12 years, and if that kid’s inborn orientation is straight, no amount of horrific hellish trauma is going to change that. The only “effect” is that that kid’s ability to healthily explore that sexuality without massive triggers, unlocked trauma, and horrific PTSD is going to be really fucking compromised. Also, that I’d be a monster who’d deserve a couple of LIFETIMES of jail time to say the least.
And you’d know that if you bothered reading a single one of these studies on the effects of child rape on the sexual health of the abused party instead of scanning them for whatever you thought would allow you to deflect the blame for the kids you’ve murdered by supporting homophobic laws and arguments onto something else that you could pull a nice “nudge nudge” on hinting that it’s all fags creating fags through child molestation.
And the fact that that’s apparently the “current strategy” for the professional homophobe brigade has managed to achieve the impossible. Lowering my opinion of those amoral fucks.
There may not be a single cause of homosexuality. One of the reasons why the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual was only partly the continual picketing by gay activists and the actions of closeted psychiatrists in leadership positions of the APA. The psychiatric profession had attempted to explain homosexuality as a result of many different causes, none of which turned out to be generally correct — and, of course, none of which led to a cure. Perhaps the AMA would have been better off asking if there is more than one cause before deciding that because they did not understand the problem, it was not a problem at all.
Queerness is a mental illness, but the mean fags whined it away. Take another shot!
Also, I definitely “like” the end-run they are attempting here. The APA and AMA have pretty much thoroughly concluded that sexual orientation is in-born given the complete uselessness of trying to change or “treat” it for any other effect than driving their patients to suicide.
So, the various “Pray the Gay Away” fucksticks who have traipsed through endless failures in their stated missions, try and pull a “I’m rubber and you’re glue” act to argue that the queers need to prove that it’s impossible to a million billion possibilities to “fix being queer” or else, the failed assumption that has no bearing on reality should be assumed to be correct.
I don’t think I need to point out that NOTHING really works like that.
If CSA explains homosexuality, it should be grounds for sympathy.
I think you used up any assumption of sympathy or even basic humanity a long long time ago, Clayton E. Goatviolator
Sexuality is to some extent a learned behavior.
Ha! If that were true, I’d have one. When I was young and ignorant of myself, I perused the various and varied polluted streams of smut on these fair nets to try and discover the thing that was supposed to turn me on like “normal”. With partners, I have practiced many a skill to provide for them a partner that could provide in aspects of sexuality as needed, practicing on how to best ape chemistry to the best of my abilities.
If it was something learned, then any aspect of that, should have been triggered. Hell, the existence of gay or bi and especially of asexual people should be an impossibility because in a world where straightness is so thoroughly expected, that should “rub off”.
But hey, I suppose whatever allows you to justify still believing that sexuality isn’t an inherent human quality you’re going to have to grow the fuck up on and accept, buddy.
What we enjoy sexually can be reinforced, and part of what makes early sexualization of children so destructive is their inability to process the mixture of shame, confusion, and pleasure (as sometimes happens).
If behavior is learned, can it be unlearned? This study describes how female sexuality is more malleable than male sexuality — what the paper describes as “female erotic plasticity.” I know people who have successfully walked away from homosexuality, and are perfectly happy, decades later, as straight people.
It is conceivable that many whose sexual orientation has been warped by CSA are so badly broken by it that they may be stuck where they are. Still, the insistence that this is something that one is born with overlooks too much evidence, seeming more like an attempt to preserve an identity group for political reasons than an accurate description of the way things are.
No.
You tried. You failed. You’ve left many a broken psyche in your wake.
Gay people are gay. Straight people are straight. And honestly, I strongly suspect that there are a fuckton more bi people out there than anyone wants to admit.
Deal with it.
Also, P.fucking.S. If your assjecture here about rape causing homosexuality had even an ounce of reality to it, then we’d expect to see a fuck ton of more homosexuals in the past when rape and especially child rape numbers were WAY fucking higher than in the modern age where we actually try (for a given value of try) to react to things.
Unless you’re the usual type of conservative thinker who also thinks that rape is a recent phenomenon because if it happened in the days before reporting then “it din’t happen”.
Also… looking back, how exactly were you hoping to explain how men raping men turn men into gays, but also men raping women turns women into lesbians… I mean, obviously, you chose the route where you, you know, didn’t even bother, but I was wondering what the “logic” would have been if someone called you out on your bullshit and actually asked you to defend your post hoc rationalizations to try and avoid acknowledging the basic humanity of queer individuals?
Also “waaah, gays are mean to ex-gays”. Take a shot.
There are simply too many surveys that show homosexuals and bisexuals as disproportionately CSA victims to consider this a coincidence. The overlap between the symptoms of CSA (substance abuse, sexual confusion, suicide, emotional immaturity, obesity, hypersexuality, or asexuality)
Correlation not causation without even any goddamn real correlaiton. Take a-WAIT!
Is that?!?
or asexuality
The trifecta is complete!
Sure, we filthy asexuals are an offhand reference in a list of side-effects of CSA by a complete ignoramus who couldn’t possibly begin to comprehend the meaning of the word, but FUCK IT! It counts!
VICTOIRE AT LAST!
and behaviors that are very common in the gay community should be causing some serious questions to be asked. Yet “I was born this way” has now become dogma. The progressive movement has made this into a cause — and the facts do not much matter anymore.
And here in the conclusion we get the central flaw of this entire rehashing of the “you ain’t queer (i.e. honorary women), you’re just rape victims (i.e. honorary women)” incredibly offensive and UNBELIEVABLY inaccurate horseshit.
That being of course that the queer community has been more, not less supportive of being aware of one’s past, including rape and sexual assault. It’s what allows studies that use self-report to show a higher incidence rate for queer populations in the first place. A queer man or woman who has been raped as a child is more, not less, likely to be aware and open about it than a heterosexual and especially than a heterosexual from a conservative repressed community. And even more than one from a repressed community that is outwardly homophobic, especially if the assault was from a same-sexed abuser.
Hell, it’s the large reason why male abusers in repressed cultures, like say… the Catholic Church will target male victims, because they know the homophobia of the culture will dissuade their victim from recognizing the assault and more importantly getting help and support from the wider community.
And not only does this awareness allow a greater amount of healing, support, and thus a decrease in all the potential negative life consequences that can happen due to that traumatic assault, but it also reduces it being passed down by cultures of silence.
Child rape by lesbian parents on their kids is nearly zero percent. Child rape by gay male parents on their kids is similarly in the toilet compared to the general heterosexual population.
And most child molesters identify as heterosexuals who would socially be considered “normal”.
No matter the hints and no matter how many times we dance around this cycle, the truth is, that these arguments, though terrible and painfully dismissive of the real pain and suffering that child molestation victims go through every day, are hardly new, hardly fresh, and hardly even hidden from their various NARTH and Scott Lively origins.
The SPLC has long had a list of 10 anti-gay myths that they thoroughly debunk and yeah… Myth #3, #8, #9, and #10.
The arguments do not change, but the desperation… yes, the desperation grows.
Because no matter how much they scrape and scream that we’re deluded freaks, we nonetheless insist on existing, we many varied flavors of the queer spectrum. And we’re not going away and even more importantly, we’re not going to shy from telling our stories even if dickwads like Clayton E. Exactly What He Is try and use and abuse those stories to try and dismiss us and erase us from the picture.
Every year, we march proud and tall and every year there are more willing to stand up and be counted. And fewer and fewer who want to let the same tired cycle of dismissals of the reality surrounding them deprive them of the opportunity to know and support those fantastic people and that fantastic celebration.
And it doesn’t take a 12th level intellect to know that!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I don’t know about all y’all, but all I’m choosing to take from this is BOOYAH! Asexuals are on the oppression map, bitches! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*No, really, those survivors so affected, do take care of yourselves and protect yourselves for this one. I’ve been supporting a good friend of mine recently who was raped on Father’s Day around the corner of a grocery store a mere couple of blocks from her house in the middle of the day, so the last thing I want to do this week is make a fellow survivor’s day worse.
frack!
Hmmmm. It’s funny that they only seem to care about gay rights when they can use it as a tool for bashing muslims.
Shoot-fire!
I have a nearly-OT comment!
Scooter rally, Saturday afternoon. One of the organizers gets the vapors ’cause he’s heard the Nashville Pride folx are planning to have a throw-down at the same bar we have reserved for the rally’s awards and raffle party that night.
“So? Who the fuck CARES?”
.
Jeff – Are you familiar with a Nashville band called “The Black Lillies”? Heard them on NPR the other day and thought they were pretty good.
Jeff – Are you familiar with a Nashville band called “The Black Lillies”? Heard them on NPR the other day and thought they were pretty good.
Sadly, no. To coin a phrase.
My disposable income is still such that live music in venues that charge at least $5/beer is not very workable, with or without cover. So, I’ve missed out on a lot the last decade.
.
Oh, hey! Are the Lillies known for working with… Stephen Colbert??
If so, I have heard of them.
.
Also, P.fucking.S. If you’re assjecture here about rape causing homosexuality, then we’d expect to see a fuck ton of more homosexuals in the past when rape and especially child rape numbers were WAY fucking higher than in the modern age where we actually try (for a given value of try) to react to things.
also, catholic church…
You’re probably thinking of The Black Keys.
You’re probably thinking of The Black Keys.
Naw, but it was The Black Belles that jumped to mind, not the Black Lillies.
.
Produced by Jack White. Eleventy!
.
Suddenly, the wall of fat that is one stereotype of lesbianism makes a lot of sense — something to drive away men, and make them stop seeing the lesbian as a sexual object.
hmmm…i’ve often wondered about this in relation to my own battle with weight…except for the lesbian part…
I got your fat wall.
.
The sky is where we start.
Speaking of Nashville.
.
The oppression map is not the commodity territory.
Hmmmm. It’s funny that they only seem to care about gay rights when they can use it as a tool for bashing muslims.
Yeah, I’ve noticed that before. And the same with women’s rights.
Though conversely, I’ve also heard the occasional conservative state that while Muslims are evil and damned and devil-inspired, at least they have some sense of tradition and family values (translation: they keep gays and wimminz In Their Proper Place).
“oh let’s look at the list here, the massive evidence that proves so-called anthropogenic climate change a lie, the fact that the Earth is only 6000 years old and dinosaurs and evolution are lies, the genetic inferiority of women and black people, the genetic superiority of white people who are also men, all the proof that 1950s gender roles are hard-coded into our DNA, the real Kenyan birth certificate of Barack Obama, and the existence of aliens and Bigfoot”
Don’t forget chemtrails, 9-11, & fluoride.
Yeah, I’ve noticed that before. And the same with women’s rights.
I could suggest this is also true of their ultimately awkward courting of the Jewish people. It’s not as if they like us, but if it gives them an opportunity to hit back against the ghastly Mohammedans, why sure they’ll play white knight (in numerous senses of the phrase) for us poor, put-upon
Christ-killing hook-nose shekel-pinching sheeny kikeJews.I read today (at Tbogg’s joint) that Exodus International is closing their operation down. They admit that Pray it Away doesn’t work and they’re sorry they hurt your feelings. Huh .
practicing on how to best ape chemistry
You can’t best ape chemistry. They’re crack chemists. Ape is to alembic as bonobo is to beaker. Simian scientists synthesizin’ shit say “better flinging through chemistry.”
It is my understanding that some women who’ve been abused do gain weight in part because it’s a barrier and lessens the sex-objectification.
But I think fat, butch lesbians are fat because they don’t give a shit in the way that women who subscribe to trad roles do. It’s not about men.
The fact is, gays are not born that way. They are brainwashed by schools and gay conversion perverts into the deathstyle of homo because they think being gay is cool and the best thing ever but they never here about the downside because to say that, is hate in PC land. The Muslims you liberals love so much want to kill gays, how does that square with your liberal fantasy world?
They admit that Pray it Away doesn’t work
Surely though there must be some part of life in which prayer works, like high-school football. Or the American health care experience. Or politics.
There is. Prayer keeps suckers in pews and televangelists rich.
Today’s my birthday. The wife’s out of town. Yesterday I stayed home from work and got pretty drunk; I told myself I’d quit drinking, again, starting today. So I get to work and what’s on my desk? Beer. My coworkers bought me high-quality beer (Sprecher and Lakefront).
Your co-workers are enablers. Thoughtful enablers with good taste.
Your co-workers are enablers. Thoughtful enablers with good taste.
it is not by birthday today, but i can certainly help you ‘dispose’ of that gift…
Oh what’s this then? A non-scientist using non-science to unscientifically prove the scientists wrong, I see. Haven’t seen THAT from a nutter before.
And yeah, Exodus is closing their doors. With apologies, no less. http://exodusinternational.org/2013/06/exodus-intl-president-to-the-gay-community-were-sorry/
It is my understanding that some women who’ve been abused do gain weight in part because it’s a barrier and lessens the sex-objectification.
But I think fat, butch lesbians are fat because they don’t give a shit in the way that women who subscribe to trad roles do. It’s not about men.
yeah…the wall o’fat theory is pretty accurate…molestation/abuse at an early age can just fuck one up in a variety of ways…i always thought that butch lesbians were a bit bulkier in order to be/appear more mannish…but i have absolutely no freckin clue on that and certainly would have the wingnuts to write an entire thesis on the subject…
although i wouldn’t say i have a ‘wall’ of fat, i did once have an unfortunate incident with a bubble of flesh which involved a pair of extremely tight, cheaply made jeans whose back pocket gave way whilst shopping one day…in a walmart…oh the humiliation!
the evidence of a connection between being sexually abused as a child and homosexual or bisexual orientation as an adult is so widespread that the refusal of the scientific community to seriously consider a causal connection suggests a willful blindness.
So, wait, his reasoning is that people aren’t gay because of things out of their control like genes, they’re gay because of things out of their control like being raped as a child? Oh, sure, discriminating against them sounds SO much less assholish now.
Oh, sure, discriminating against them sounds SO much less assholish now.
so now it’s more like ‘hate the sin (childrape), and the sinner (childrapist), and try not to hate the victim…
the evidence of a connection between being sexually abused as a child and homosexual or bisexual orientation as an adult is so widespread that the refusal of the scientific community to seriously consider a causal connection suggests a willful blindness.
I think there’s a willful blindness to all the scientific evidence that exists about ghosts and flying saucers.
But I think fat, butch lesbians are fat because they don’t give a shit in the way that women who subscribe to trad roles do
Hard to say now that pretty much everybody is fat.
Thanks people of Columbus Ohio for making me look svelte in comparison!
Oh, sure, discriminating against them sounds SO much less assholish now.
I think this is what stupid people call “tough love”. I know that term is only used by stupid people, but it sounds like a rationalization for being a fucking jerk.
But I think fat, butch lesbians are fat because they don’t give a shit in the way that women who subscribe to trad roles do
I think they’re fat for the same reasons other fat people are fat.
Hey, remember that Penthouse Forum letter by John Candy, “A Lesbian No More”? That proves female sexuality is malleable.
One of the reasons why the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual was only partly the continual picketing by gay activists and the actions of closeted psychiatrists in leadership positions of the APA.
that’s still my favorite part…’dammit, more picketers?!?! FINE THEN, WE’LL QUIT CALLING GHEYNESS A MENTAL ILLNESS!!!’ and i now have an image of a psychiatrist in a white doctor’s coat swirling out of a closet, ‘alright i’m here you mother fuckers…i’m queer…get fucking used to iiiiiiiiiiit!’
Ah-hah! You’re assuming these toilet bobbing arseholes would concede that being raped is out of a person’s control.
I think they’re fat for the same reasons other fat people are fat.
yeah, but we have to have excuses tsam! just like i need an excuse for willful junkpunching…
seriously though, working through the issues of why one is fat and keeping determined to at least get fit in an atmosphere of passive aggressive ‘helpfulness’ really blows…but, i’ve been doing some soul searching lately and i’m sick of all the excuses i’ve made for myself…onward and upward from here on out, says i…
Ah-hah! You’re assuming these toilet bobbing arseholes would concede that being raped is out of a person’s control.
s’kay, yesterday we read about serena williams’ dumbass remarks about the steubenville rape victim…what i found more appalling were the comments. fully 90 percent of them were, ‘well, she shouldn’t have been there and certainly shouldn’t have been drinking!’
wingnuts have the most annoying habit of having done everyfuckingthing right in their lives and forcing it down our throats…so, no…they’ll never concede that being raped is out of a person’s control…and that the rapist is the bad guy (or person) and not the victim…so fuck them…and i don’t mean missionary…
wingnuts have the most annoying habit of
havingclaiming to have done everyfuckingthing right in their lives…Fixed.
I think they’re fat for the same reasons other fat people are fat.
Well yeah … I guess I was saying that being fat is different for women in this society, and that lesbians have been in the vanguard when it comes to defying societal expectations about female appearance, dress, etc.
‘well, she shouldn’t have been there and certainly shouldn’t have been drinking!’
Cuz then she wouldn’t have raped all those poor guys, right?
This has got to be a mashup of the Dunning Kruger effect and the just world fallacy, with a heaping helping of ‘being a huge jerk’ on top.
Cuz then she wouldn’t have raped all those poor guys, right?
exactamundo…they also reinforced teh wingnut creed to always, always be vigilant–you know not if teh muslins, teh gheys, teh gubbmint, teh furriners or hitler disguised as broncobama is going to jump out at you and take your guns, your job or your chastity…or even just be standig there minding their own biz…it’s gotta be tough constantly being on the offense and expecting tragedy and mayhem to be lurking around every fucking corner…
wingnuts have the most annoying habit of having claiming to have done everyfuckingthing right in their lives…
that was certainly poor editing on my part…you have nailed it…
wingnuts have the most annoying habit of having done everyfuckingthing right in their lives and forcing it down our throats…so, no…they’ll never concede that being raped is out of a person’s control
And yet they’re also the victimiest victims who ever victimed. If they don’t get a job they’re less qualified for, or someone disagrees with them, or even wishes them a happy holiday in November, well, it’s DIFFERENT than you being beaten up or raped or fired.
you left out that everyone else’s religious freedom means the absolute stifling of theirs…
It’s hard out here for a cold ass honky
thread-killing hard…
We will talk about how hard it was back in 2013 when we are in our dotage.
“Times were tough for honkies in 2013. Everywhere you looked, people who weren’t white male christians reconsidered granting honkies hegemony just for existing”
Has anyone actually used the term “honky”, other than ironically, since sometime around 1974?
Just saw this at Digby’s:
Bolds mine.
Sexual abuse causes every non-heterosexual orientation. It makes people like men, like women, like both men and women, like children, or not like anyone. Every non-heterosexual orientation is just one big perversion.
This idea of what constitutes consent is very difficult for some people, usually men, to understand. I don’t know why. It’s very simple: every person’s body belongs to them. They do not ever give it away simply by being in a position in which another person wants it and so they have to give it.
it’s pretty interesting to me that most men either don’t get this or choose to not get this…i would argue that a young boy who was raped by any gender knows how awful the experience of having one’s body unwillingly taken…so…do they internalize, blame other victims for what they couldn’t avoid, do they have that shame beaten in or out of them and take it like a man and move on?
i think there are certainly men out there who really believe they have rights to all they see, as are there women as such…but i also believe for the most part that at some point in their lives, men have been victimized…i’ve seen men totally lose their shit over someone touching their ‘stuff’…so they totally get it…i think they just choose not to…
Has anyone actually used the term “honky”, other than ironically, since sometime around 1974?
yes…tsam…and he makes it badass…
So, FA, I’m assuming that a sloth molested you at some point in your childhood?
I’m thinking about putting a cookbook together. Not my receipts, The Portland Foodcarts Cookbook>/I>. Figure it’ll sell like (ricotta lemon) hot cakes in NYC.
Worst troll nym since shoelimpy.
I’m thinking about putting a cookbook together. Not my receipts, The Portland Foodcarts Cookbook>/I>. Figure it’ll sell like (ricotta lemon) hot cakes in NYC.
yes, please!
Jug, after reading your comment, and after due consideration, this is my reply to you:
Even though I quoted it, I don’t think it’s primarily men who have trouble with the concept of consent when you’re talking about many (most?) rapes. There’s a strong tendency to notice a stupid choice made by the victim, which gets translated into “well, it was kinda [the victim’s] fault,” while not noticing the stupid choice (usually the same one, getting drunk) made by the rapist(s). To take somebodyorother’s quote a bit farther, anybody should be able to walk down any street, any time, drunk or sober, in any state of dress (or undress), and not only not get raped, but expect to not get raped.
You could do a series Pup, with two volumes on LA, one each on Manhattan and Brooklyn. NOLA is still fighting the food carts pretty hard but it might happen there too. I don’t know if the fad has legs so you better move fast.
I just read one of those pray-away-the-gay therapy places closed. Now where will I get prophylactic treatment? I mean why take chances? The way things are, I could go at any time. And what would be the upshot? I don’t want to end up like that guy in Venice.
“Get a clue people, there are different opinions ou there. Mine just happen to be Juggy and Dishy.”
Nopw that’s personal honesty! A commenter can pretend to be anything, but this person lays it right out for you. Thanks!
“Failure Artist said”
I better shape up. Complete integrity seems to be the order of the day here.
“They do not ever give it away simply by being in a position in which another person wants it and so they have to give it.”
I thionk it works best for all when consent is continuous, that is consent is given for each escalating stage of the, the, ah, imbroglio. And the consent can be withdrawn at any time, too bad, the cold shower is over there.
And when it’s over, I ask: “Was it good for you, too?” and get the usual reply: “Mooser, I really don’t think that was good for anybody!”
Oh well.
There’s a strong tendency to notice a stupid choice made by the victim, which gets translated into “well, it was kinda [the victim’s] fault,” while not noticing the stupid choice (usually the same one, getting drunk) made by the rapist(s).
oh, most undoubtedly…what i’m saying is that there are people out there who think they can have what/whomever they want whenever they want it…the concept of consent is foreign to them…but how did they get that way?
The food cart scene is taking off in Chicago despite some setbacks, including a rule prohibiting a cart from setting up within two hundred feet of a restaurant. Up until six months ago they didn’t even allow them to cook the food on the cart and now that they do they’ve only granted one license to do so. Guess the restaurant industry has some sway…
http://www.wbez.org/news/culture/are-new-regulations-helping-or-hurting-city%E2%80%99s-food-truck-industry-105265
Ah, shit. change made for excessive personal honesty day.
Here’s a nym that would be inappropriate for me, and that’s inspired by Cerb’s terminology:
Flubert von Shlink
“Surely though there must be some part of life in which prayer works”
God’s Word through Song
Around here, there was one food cart that was set up purely for the purpose of generating enough cash for the owners to start a restaurant. It was a grilled cheese (and variations) food cart, the would-be restarauters having decided that was a hard to screw up comfort food they could sell enough of for enough of a markup.
Prayer is the alternative form of getting your knees dirty.
How do you know they’re not lying?
Has anyone actually used the term “honky”, other than ironically, since sometime around 1974?
I don’t know, but it’s one those words that I find hilarious.
around here, we have a popcorn stand! food trucks are all the rage in mpls/st. paul, not without controversy howevs…now they are taking the mobile concept further with other non-food retail items…the first being a ‘fashion’ truck…
I don’t know, but it’s one those words that I find hilarious.
me too! and it really cannot be said without the george jefferson inflection…
me too! and it really cannot be said without the george jefferson inflection…
That’s RIGHT. Also that line in that Macklemore song about the Thrift Store.
Also that line in that Macklemore song about the Thrift Store.
what is the deal with macklemore? i saw them onetime on teh teevee but i don’t think i’ve ever heard them…and they sing about thrifting? i could prolly like them, then…
Just another MC, but he’s funny
Just another MC, but he’s funny
okay, it’s official…i like macklemore…but he best keep in mind that i have been making thrifing cool since 1983…i will pop a cap…
Shit! I was being sarcastic. I forgot I wasn’t a regular so people wouldn’t recognize I’m on your side.
Failure Artist said,
June 20, 2013 at 22:44
I thought I’d seen your nym before, but couldn’t remember where.
Honky
Obligatory
I thought I’d seen your nym before, but couldn’t remember where.
Make it a diminutive and it’s the same as mine.
“How do you know they’re not lying?
“
I would fain accuse them of deceit. Anotherwords, they ain’t feigning! In the main, however, I go my way like a retired polo player, with mallets toward none.
“Shit! I was being sarcastic”
Well, I swan, you sure took me in. And once again my high horse throws me igno,ignonimo… uh, painfully to earth.
Well whaddayu want? Yahoo spel-chek isn’t working right now. There’s no way I’m gonna try “ignominiously” on my own.
“Has anyone actually used the term “honky”, other than ironically, since sometime around 1974?”
Unfortunately, when it’s combined with “tonk” the answer is yes. Shudder!
Really? “Tonk honkey” is something I don’t think I’ve ever heard…
“Tonk honkey” is something I don’t think I’ve ever heard…
“Tonsil hockey,” on the other hand…
wingnuts have the most annoying habit of having claiming to have done everyfuckingthing right in their lives…
That’s because they can claim to be “born again” so all the bad or dumb shit they’ve done was done in another life, by another person. e.g. serial adulterer and family values champion Newt Gingrich.
Though I’m not entirely sure how Newt got ‘born-again’ into being a Catholic. The terminology seems to resist the concept.
OBOY OBOY OBOY
At the neighborhood markets farket – where neighborhood is the park directly across the street – I got me some Hood streebleberries and local cherries and some gorgeous promaduce. Imma make strawberry shortcake tonight and tomorrow I’ll whip up a streudel like thing of cherries in puff pastry. Now that I learned the easy way to make pp I make it frequently. Google up Julia Child Michel Richard for the method.
I’m thinking of going out tomorrow morning to pick blueberries. These are warm-weather varieties that can stand the San Joaquin summer heat, and it’s also strawberry time as well. Summertime fruit, along with peaches from the Crabtree orchard, of course.
Though I’m not entirely sure how Newt got ‘born-again’ into being a Catholic. The terminology seems to resist the concept.
This is from his own account, it kinda wants to make you throw up in your own mouth:
http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/newt-gingrich-why-i-became-catholic/#ixzz2WoAJ7acy
Pope Benedict.
Happiness and peacefulness.
I don’t think I have ever seen those two concepts thrown together in the same sentence before.
Flubert von Shlink
The Great Gatso.
Whenever I see American Thinker in the post I know we are in for something that involves little actual thinking. The wingnuts seem to take the most pretentious and ironic names for their sites, don’t they.
And of course the first image I think of is the famous Sadly toilet photoshop.
AROO AROO AROO TL;DW FR3AKSHOW* ALERT
Pretty trippy to watch epic wingnut-on-wingnut flamewar erupt every time the topic is Lincoln.
Even in 2013.
________________________________________________________________________
* Shovel, eyelid clamps, benefit of the doubt all sold seperately.
Michael Hastings is the new Vince Foster. There are secret tapes showing that the Chicago comptroller was in the car with him.
Wondered how long it would take for something like that to show up …
Snacked on the first ripe raspberries of the year in my yard on the far left coast of Canuckistan. It was a good day.
Off topic, but I had forgotten how totally batshit crazy conservapedia “the trustworthy encyclopedia” really is.
If I could harness the energy behind all teh stoopid there, I could solve the energy crisis for the entire universe, for all remaining time.
I’ll have to wait until Chief Editor Korir weighs in.
I’ll have to wait until Chief Editor Korir weighs in.
I think he must be retired. There’s a much wanted video right now with a going rate of $200K and he hasn’t said diddly yet.
Roy is on it.
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2013/06/wheels-within-wheels.html
Alex Jones also
http://www.infowars.com/is-journalist-michael-hastings-a-victim-of-obamas-assassination-policy/
Oh, hell…give me a break wontcha? Despite the “humanitarian” camouflage title, this article isn’t about gays, LGBT, our any sexual orientation whatsoever; it’s about killing Muslims, period…invading their countries, carpet-bombing as many as possible and converting what remains to Christianity. Sorry, Amurican Thanker, you already showed your genocidal hand too many times in the past to be setting a different tack.
“Really? “Tonk honkey” is something I don’t think I’ve ever heard…”
Maybe I was thinking of “tinkerty-tonk”. People who live in Wodehouses say that quite a bit. When we’re not casting Perelman before swine, that is.
‘…and we’ll go tonky-honking, all the time.’
Funny how the “assassination lists” of these evil Democratic Presidents who rose to power on a trail of bodies, never seem to include any of their actual political enemies.
“Boehner? Limbaugh? McConnell? Roger Ailes? Nah, let’s whack some independent journalist nobody really ever heard of. That will teach my enemies to tremble in fear!”
“it’s about killing Muslims, period…invading their countries, carpet-bombing as many as possible and converting what remains to Christianity”
And why, I ask you, why, shouldn’t good American citizens endorse the policy which their military accepts as its mission for the foreseeable future?
What a day this is going to be! Google Spel-chek still doesn’t work, and my dealer’s phone doesn’t seem to work. Oh well, my Momma said there would be days like this, days like this, my Momma-pajama said as she rolled out of bed and went down to the police station.
Big balls in Cowtown
we’ll all go down
big balls in Cowtown
we’ll dance around
My Momma told me: You better shop around! But did I listen? Noooo…
Tonk Honkey would be an awesome band name.
(I)Big balls in Cowtown
(I)we’ll all go down
(I)big balls in (VI maj.)Cowtown
(IImaj.)we’ll dance (V)around
Needs another verse to get home.
“Tonk Honkey would be an awesome band name.”
If you’re not set on taking it to your own bosom, I could call my duo “Tonk and Honky”. Tonk, on guitar, and that’s Honky on the organ.
Man, bold move from (I) to (VI), the composer must have been someone who liked taking chances.
A comptroller in the car is worth two through the fifteenth-floor window.
I apologize to everyone at Sadly,No! that I hurt with that oblique mutation of shopworn witticism.
“Man, bold move…”
I-VI-II-V? Bold? Hardly! More hoe-down hum-drum is what I had in mind. Two-step.
My question of the decade:
Just what in the fuck drives these pricks to these genocidal screeds? Jesus never talked about killing off people who worship the same magic fairy (but view him through a different colored lens). Why the constant war boners? I’m generally against extermination of people because of their ideologies, but neocons and neo Nazis make me break my own rule.
Shopworn nutters are shopworn. I want them all to eat a hemlock sammich. Right now is good for me. Kthx.
“Why the constant war boners?”
Well, I find one little word covers, or rather, pulls the covers off of just about all “conservative reasoning’. And that word is “pretense”. Now when it comes to the question of why ‘conservatives’ don’t seem to understand what a look at their pretenses exposes about them, well, there, you got me.
I think it’s because the standards of a Hollywood scenario conference or advertising brainstorm have become the verities of our political discourse, but that’s just me.
Funny how the “assassination lists” of these evil Democratic Presidents who rose to power on a trail of bodies, never seem to include any of their actual political enemies.
Ahhh, that’s because in spite of being a naive idiot who can’t read two sentences without a teleprompter he is also able to execute ridiculously complicated conspiracies in order to permanently enslave ‘dem honkies.
I think they’re just the kind of people Jesus was so down on, but they were born into their religion, and that’s where the power is, anyway. I think one of the reasons they have that extra fillip of hate is a dim awareness that the guy whose teachings they profess to follow would definitely not approve.
HAHA! Honkies.
I-VI-II-V? Bold? Hardly!
Yeah, just an ice cream turnaround, um, turned around.
“Yeah, just an ice cream turnaround, um, turned around.”
The last chord (V) is the dominant. How would you get me home?
I’d be easy to learn the chords: [A] Big Ball’s in Cowtown
I’m not sure I understand yer question, Mooser; gettin home after the dominant is no problem, unless you consider using the most hackneyed progression to be a problem.
Maybe I was thinking of “tinkerty-tonk”. People who live in Wodehouses say that quite a bit. When we’re not casting Perelman before swine, that is.
I’d say “Marry me” but I’m already happily married.
“I’d say “Marry me” but I’m already happily married.”
And one hopes you received the requisite fish-slice on the happy day.
Wasn’t it the year Bluebottle won the Cambridheshire?
Big Balls in Cowtown is the country song that is the ideal combination of early and GAY GAY GAY so I love it without reservations.
I think they Sayers that more often elsewhere.
“I’d be easy to learn the chords: [A] Big Ball’s in Cowtown”
Thanks, I will. My suggestion was only a feeble alternative. Oddly enough I played with a double-neccked pedal-steel player and a singer on Tues. BBIC is perfect for us.
I-VI-II-V? Bold?
Bold is a new word for lame?
Because I’m bored, what guitar is a good guitar to learn on? I want an electric, because, acoustic doesn’t really make the noises I would like to create, and I would like to get one that I could grow with, rather than one that is a piece of crap like you get in those $200 ‘beginner electric guitar’ packages from best buy. My hypothetical (cause I’m broke) budget could probably be stretched to $500 or $600. I would love to play rockabilly and am not really interested in (playing) heavy metal.
jive ass turkeys.
There is a high profile racially tinged criminal trial going on right now-No not the Zimmerman Trial- The Bulger Trial. I understand that he is a mobster and a murderer but that’s no good reason to bring race into the picture. The media is all “Whitey Bulger” this and “Whitey Bulger” that, “Whitey Whitey Whitey!” I get it, he’s a white guy but what does that fact have to do with anything? Did we call the O.J. Simpson Trial the Blackie Simpson Trial? No we did not. (some people may have thought it sure but nobody said it out loud) Why the double standard?
Of course you may prefer to answer the question: what kind of guitar do you play, and why did you choose it? So feel free to answer that question if you want to.
The thing about the heavy metal guitars is that a lot of them are really playable; the point of them is to get the tricks done easily.
I’d borrow a guitar from someone and fool around for a few weeks, then head to the music store and try the hardest things you’ve tried on the ugly guitars as well as the pretty ones. Not everyone has the same hands or preferences.
I play a shit strat copy I bought at a pawn shop. It is hard to play (and I use heavy strings to make it harder), the premise being to limit those easy tricks. Nice pickup though.
Borrow one Helmut, most players have lots, including a couple of road units, antiques, copies, whatever. It don’t matter, a fretboard is a fretboard. Once you can pick some you can buy what you like.
My hypothetical (cause I’m broke) budget could probably be stretched to $500 or $600. I would love to play rockabilly and am not really interested in (playing) heavy metal.
Ephiphone has some mid-range guitars that are very well built, have nice EMG pickups and sound and feel very nice.
For rockabilly stuff, look at the Les Paul style. Avoid the temptation to get a semi-hollow body–that limits what you can do.
Get a nice amp. Fender makes some very nice combos that will give you that sound–along with nice bluesy type sounds.
Sub’s right and he’s not typing on a fone.
I have three guitars, very different from one another, all easy to play. I don’t think discussing them will help, so I’m gonna mull over Helmut’s question in its original form.
Nice Epiphone Les Paul body…
Awesome little practice amp.
Awesome little practice amp.
If it’s anything like my Blues Junior that has similar specs, it would be plenty loud to be more than just for “practice.” I’ve used mine (for harmonica) at a couple small clubs and it did fine.
I drive a Gibson SG, Line 6 Floor Pod Plus and a shitty old Line 6 Spider amp that is broken unless you put it in tuner mode, which gives me a volume pedal for stage control and a perfectly flat response (exactly duplicates what my effects pedal is putting out).
I chose the Gibson SG because it’s light, has a nice low, fast action, and an oinky, angry tone that feels good to me. It crushes metal and blues, but doesn’t like country and clean, ballady type stuff–though it does a just barely credible job of that if I set my volumes and effects and pickup switch just right.
Rockabilly is going to be a clean sound with a slightly overdriven amp to give it just a bit of crunch, and then a more overdriven lead channel…so your available choices are pretty wide. You can make that sound with just about anything.
If it’s anything like my Blues Junior that has similar specs
A 10W amp would get eaten alive by the drums and bass. You can, however, mic that 10W and run it through the PA. You can send some of it back through your monitors and be in awesome shape for a show.
I’ve seen a few shows where teensy amps were handy. Wayne from Flaming Lips around their fourth or fifth album used one live.
Please expand on this.
A 10W amp would get eaten alive by the drums and bass. You can, however, mic that 10W and run it through the PA. You can send some of it back through your monitors and be in awesome shape for a show.
Hmm, now I can’t remember if it was mic’d through the PA or not at those gigs. It’s been a while, I don’t get out much.
But it could also be that it just seems so loud because of how obnoxiously different a crunched out harmonica sounds through an amp.
Also, I just realized that my Blues Junior is a 15W amp. Those extra 5W make a huge difference.
Should’ve been a link: Blues Junior
Please expand on this.
I’d put it a different way, they’re way too expensive for marginal sound quality differences a noob will find hard to realize.
SG’s can be great but there’s a wide variation amongst them. A cheap tele (yes, with heavy strings) is probably a better rockabilly rig. Once you get going you can change out the pick-ups and heat it up.
Gocart, this blog has been a Bulger-free zone, don’t ruin it now.
I’m sorry, but I’m having the most awesome day in a long time and I just gotta brag:
This morning, I got a new job, after two months of unemployment.
Half an hour ago, I opened a letter from my mortgage company, saying my payment is going down $57 a month—and enclosing a $750 check for excessive escrow funds!
Although, to put it in perspective: The new job pays $10K less than my old one, and I’m only getting that money because the value of my condo is going down, down, down.
Still, good news is good news, and I’ll fucking take it.
Re: choosing a guitar —
Neck width & shape is a highly personal matter. I like a wider-than-typical neck. My Gibson ES-330T has the perfect neck for me. My Strat’s neck is too narrow at the nut for my taste. I play lots of jazzy chords and I have big hands that feel crowded on many popular guitars. On the other hand, I like to wrap my thumb around and fret bass notes with it. That’s harder to do on a classical-width neck and/or one with a hefty profile. I actually don’t like playing rhythm on the Strat. The Gibson has been ideal for chords (and single-notes).
String gauge should not go below 10s in my opinion, unless you’re looking to play metal. I am too ham-fisted to enjoy the less-massive strings. They require a lighter touch than I care to cultivate. I like 10 or 11-gauge strings, no more no less.
Pickups. If you like electric guitar music you already have opinions about single-coil vs. humbuckers and stuff. You need to consciously match the sounds you like with the pickups that are out there. Some electrics are very versatile tone-wise, some aren’t. If you’ve only got one instrument, that’s an issue.
Fret shape & height is another subtle personal matter. Make sure to try both guitars with jumbo frets and unobtrusive ones. I’ve played Les Pauls with very flat frets; it’s a dramatically different experience.
Bridge. Something about tremelo bars feels odd to me. Actually the subtle thing is that the bridge affects my palm-muting and hand placement. This seems to be one reason why I’d rather play rhythm on my Gibson than my Strat. A combo of little factors adding up to a big preference.
… Anyway, Helmut, all I’m saying is that you should try a number of guitars and be conscious of the issues I’ve raised. They’ll matter more than the brand name when it comes to your enjoyment as a beginner.
Oh, and DO get a small tube amp. I know you’re on a budget so there’s little danger you’ll get too much wattage. It’s a trap. Big wattage turned low sounds worse than small turned high, because tubes.
Still, good news is good news, and I’ll fucking take it.
As well you should! And it’s Friday too — use today to remind yourself that now that you’re employed again you’ll look forward to this day not just ’cause you get to hang out with your working friends.
Congrats!
Jeez CRA he wants to learn guitar, he should borrow a beater and metronome and bang 1-4-5’s for a few months before he thinks about repointing his frets.
fillip of hate
d’oh! i wish i had even a teensy fillip of musical talent because now i want a band called fillip of hate…
bitter scribe: well done, you!
Just make sure the amp goes to “11”.
Hey! Someone had to say it!
Sure El M., but I had nothing better to do.
He can explore these differences in a music store. Borrowing a guitar is great too. I’m just raising the issues that will come up. You can be very happy for $500 if you know what you want.
CRA, I just acquired as a loaner, an Epiphone/Gibson semi-hollow body.
It was unplayable! Wouldn’t make the right notes! Wouldn’t play chords in tune. Thought it needed major work!
Well, when we took off the ancient “Ernie Ball Super-Slinky” strings it was burdened with, and installed D’Addario 11/49 strings, everything fell into place, and the guitar is fine. And that’s a bout a $200 guitar.
What do y’all think about starting on the ten dollar yard sale special? So that a week from now when you’ve realized that a lifetime of RSI keyboard damage is going to prevent you from learning all three chords – you don’t feel bad when you bust it over some wrestler’s head.
Yeah Mooser, that guitar was not built for Super Slinkys, heh.
People mentioned Epiphones. Seems like there are some real nice affordable ones. A good variety of em too.
I am not Quickdraw McGraw looking to replace El-Kabong.
I am not Quickdraw McGraw looking to replace El-Kabong.
Why not?!?!
I say go acoustic. It’s easier to clock a dude if you aren’t tied to an amp. Plus soccer moms see it as moar romantic.
For bonking people on the head, I guess there’s pros and cons. With the electric you can kill em. But only the acoustic gives that awesome effect where the wreckage is draped around the victim’s neck.
Why do you people discount impalement?
I’m talkin’ wrasslin’. You don’t want to kill teh dude. Jeez, y’all take yer kayfabe too serious man.
Although, this thing would be awesome.
Hang on there, smart guy, what if I was really really mad? Are you saying I COULDN’T drive my guitar through someone’s liver and end their worthless existence?
I’ve only used guitars defensively unless you count really annoying licks.
Well, if you were really really mad, then I guess it’s okay. But don’t let it get to be a regular Friday afternoon thing. Mopping up is rough on the cleaning staff.
Gotta like Skeletar.
Anywho, feel free to ignore me here. I actually did give up after a week. I am extremely right handed and the limits of my left hand dexterity are the WASD keys and undoing garter belt snaps.
This is cool, it’s like a Neapolitian chord come to life!
What a great weekend this is going to be! Cider Summit in the park across the street. Making rt he first Fossil run of the season on teh motorpickle. And best of all, http://i.imgur.com/WWSoqB3.jpg
I’m in the middle of a trade. I think I am going to trade my A-100 Hammond for an even older model, a CV. (with retro-fit perc.) I’ll go see it on Monday, and if it works out, an organ transfer will take place. We may Roll, we may Kari, but we’ll get it done.
“You can be very happy for $500 if you know what you want.”
So I’ve heard.
Pups, Teh famous Internet cats (I believe) are Maru, Grumpy Cat, Simon’s Cat and my personal fave, Henri Le Chat Noir. Enjoy the Festival !
Gocart, this blog has been a Bulger-free zone, don’t ruin it now.
It’s true, you let in Bulgar and the next thing you know it’s Kamut and Emmer and all their buddies.
That Cthulhu guitar is pretty scary, but then I noticed that the black hardware (2 knobs and a pickup selector) makes a cute sorta hello kitty face.
Yup don’t need no Bulger boatmen ’round here.
Glad to avoid any Battle of the Bulger.
Watch out for Bulgarians.
Bulgar
Always with teh BUTTSEKS around here.
Helmut,
I’d loan you this, as it’s my sole geetar, now, but it IS a chambered-body, meaning that it’s partially-hollow (just no holes leading to the outside air).
Meanwhile, Let’s party! My ears did turn in, unlike Broncobama’s.
.
You can be very happy for $500 if you know what you want.
Jeebus, yes. A decade ago, when I was pulling down $60K from The Evil Empire (once headed by BatBoy Guv of FL), I could toss $5-600 at eBay for a Hamer FM Special on the used market. GAWD was fucking instruments! I bought two at the same time! My landlord has one of them.
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What do y’all think about starting on the ten dollar yard sale special? So that a week from now when you’ve realized that a lifetime of RSI keyboard damage is going to prevent you from learning all three chords – you don’t feel bad when you bust it over some wrestler’s head.
If you’re planning on that, get a nylon-string “classical” model. The action on cheap-ass steel-string acoustic guitars is enough discouragement all its own.
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10 p.m. central, and YOU FUCKING FUCKS are not HERE?!
.
We’re all practicing Smoke on the Water.
re: Exodus
Was reading some commentary on it. When I first heard, I was like zomg, I think he really means it. He’s actually sincerely sorry. Not “sorry if you were offended” but “sorry I was wrong”.
But then I read a lotta day late and dollar short responses (to put it politely). And fuck if they aren’t bang on teh money. Dude was ruining people’s lives. And their families’ lives. Seriously fucked up shit with real actual damage.
I guess it’s that honest apologies are so fucking rare nowadays, they seem to count for a whole lot moar than they ought. I mean, yes dude did the right thing there, admitting his errors, acknowledging their magnitude, and owning them. That could not have been easy. But at the same time, dude has still gots a long way to go to repay his debt to society. IMO, at least.
Also too, yayy Lisa Ling. For reference, her seat on The View was taken by Hasselbeck. The differences between the two is startling.
I guess it’s that honest apologies are so fucking rare nowadays, they seem to count for a whole lot moar than they ought. I mean, yes dude did the right thing there, admitting his errors, acknowledging their magnitude, and owning them. That could not have been easy. But at the same time, dude has still gots a long way to go to repay his debt to society. IMO, at least.
I wonder what made him change his tune- I would wager that he did it before some seriously unsavory revelations about him were made public, but I’m pretty damn cynical.
We’re all practicing Smoke on the Water.
With notable exceptions.
Guitar hero: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsAIlOeXvys
Gotta say I love the guitar talk. I’m not a player but am a big fan of pretty much all styles, but my first love is still the hard rock I grew up on. Jimmy Page cranking a Les Paul – YEAH!
I have been listening to Zeppelin again in recent years. First loves were them and Hendrix. Wandered far afield since then!
Led Zeppilin had the best unison (guitar and bass double the line) sound of anyone. It had a ponderous yet playful character.
And “Stairway to Heaven” is a cautionary tale about hiring unscrupulous and unskilled home remodelers.
Hairway to Steven
And “Stairway to Heaven” is a cautionary tale about hiring unscrupulous and unskilled home remodelers.
That actually makes as much sense as any other explanation of the lyrics I’ve seen.
Hairway to Steven
Which brings us back to the Butthole Surfers!
The Lovely Daughter informs me that “unko” is Japanese for POOP.
Also she adds “suck my cock you fucking faggot” in French.
French is an excellent language to learn.
“That actually makes as much sense as any other explanation of the lyrics I’ve seen.”
It’s the only explanation which fits all the known, or knowable facts pertaining to the greatest rock-unt-roll song ever recorded!
Unless, and I don’t mean this personally towards anyone, there is someone here so degenerate, so addled, so “L7” they do not think S-to-H (as it will be hereinafter designated)…oh shit, I had “Stairway to Heaven” mixed up with Gershwin’s “I’ll Build a Stairway to Paradise (with a new step every day)”
They’re not the same, are they? Well, after you’ve climbed the stairs, take a sit.
watzu miko is japanese for monkey face.
the greatest rock-unt-roll song ever recorded
It was good the first 10,000 or so times I had to listen to it.
What a great weekend this is going to be!
hahahaha…that’s what i started out thinking! and then it was like this…
Certainly, your nym is very self-descriptive. Have you thought about going back on your meds and off of the street?
Look here, puffy, the last time your little billet doux were scrubbed from here, it wasn’t b-cause I told Cerb anything. She’ll get around to deleting your electronic scribblings here, just like before, without any input from me.
Hey, if I had the mop, I’d clean it up, myself. As it is, I don’t mind letting the attendant know someone thought it would be cute to shit on the floor.
.
Well, fiddle. Here I was thinking maybe someone else was tracking Snowden but instead find some awful leavings.
I have a whole new appreciation of the service Cerb does for us cleaning this stuff. Wow. Thank you dear.
Gone.
If one deletes an offensive, tasteless, or not-in-accord-with-today’s-ambience comment, does the website still retain the “hit” (unique page view?) garnered when the comment was posted? That would be super, if true. Now that I have a blog, these things concern me.
At my blog, Moosehall (where Mooses “yard”) I have solved this problem: I write all the comments, and let anonymous posters write the articles!
Re-upholstered in 1989
Look at this nice bottom!
Ain’t it easy on the eyes?
Guaranteed to support any weight, or size!
And if I can’t sell it,
I will just recline upon it.
I don’t see the need
To give it away!
what’s your problem mate?
“what’s your problem mate?”
Look, I have really had my fill of folks always comin around with their hands stuck out, Want something, don’t want to give up nothing!
Now if you want this, put your hand in your stash and give me some cash!
If you want something for free, go to the Salvation Army, don’t come to me. Now this is not Saint Vincent Rue de Paul’s place,
this is Sadly, No!
Read my lips! No free tricks!
“It was good the first 10,000 or so times I had to listen to it.”
I think I have heard that some enterprising and musicly inclined aeronaut set the pre-flight checklist to Stairway to Heaven! (hereinafter designated, in the intertests of typographical economy, as “S-to-H”)
So how would that go?
“Check your choks, and your wheels,
look for strains in the steel,
or a leak, which can send you to he-e-aven…”
Anyway, I’m sure you can do much better. I’ve got no idea what’s involved in the pilot’s pre-flight check.
“I’ve got no idea what’s involved in the pilot’s pre-flight check.”
LACASWNTO – Look Around Cockpit And See What Needs Turned On
“LACASWNTO – Look Around Cockpit And See What Needs Turned On”
Thanks! Between that and “Airplane!” and the Pilot’s Eye videos, I should be certified in no time!
“French is an excellent language to learn.”
The linguistic superiority of French not withstanding, Spanish is the one to learn for me. Imagine being able to sing “Blue Spanish Eyes” or “A Rose in Spanish Harlem” in the original, not to mention “The Girl from Ipenama”.
And knowing what all the words in “La Bomba” mean.
Or the last bit of “Suite, Judy Blue Eyes”.
4 years of Spanish plus several trips to Spain and Mexico and I still speak it with the most god-awful Midwestern American accent.
I can’t roll my R’s, never could roll my R’s, probably never will be able to roll by R’s.
I should have studied French, because I can at least make the correct sounds.
not to mention “The Girl from Ipenama”.
I think that one’s Portuguese, isn’t it?
Brazilian Portuguese, to be precise, tigris, which of course isn’t to be confused with the Brazilian porcupine, or the Brazilian wax job.
Somebody die or what?
I was busy eating lamb chops and grilled figs wrapped in bacon.
Just some noodles w/lettuce, chard and julienned veg with smoked pork and sesame/chili/peanut sauce.
Food porn, eh? I have a lambs’ quarters “spanakopita” in the oven. This morning, I gorged myself on mulberries. This is a great time of year to be a forager… the wild raspberries will be ripening in a week or two, and there are grape leaves aplenty to be had.
You’re a real symphony of chlorophyll and anthocyanins.
French would be the perfect language if they would just get rid of those FUCKING USELESS ACCENTS that serve no purpose but to add 15 extra letters to the French alphabet (five vowels times three accents).
Oh, and while you’re at it, knock off the sexism, OK? Case in point: Words like docteur, professeur (teacher) or avocat (lawyer) are always masculine, even if the doctor, teacher or lawyer in question is a woman. Conversely, victime is always feminine, even if the victim is a man.
Anonymous above was me, so Francophiles know whom to flame.
I had pizza delivered last night and Chinese tonight, for the first time in two months, to celebrate being employed again. That’s my food porn.
People always seem to go on about how beeyootiful French sounds when spoken. Mmph. I think it sounds too nasal for beauty. I prefer the sound of Spanish.
Supper is but a fond memory – Ah.
I have a friend who is a chef in town and he brought me bakery leftovers – the lil sweetheart knows my grocery money was stolen , ergo toasted bagels and scones for eatings. He’s a damn fine chef (and friend) – and the only person in town who makes bagels.
Why am I not in bed yet? It’s nearly 4 am – think I’ll remedy that.
Night all.
Words like docteur, professeur (teacher) or avocat (lawyer) are always masculine
And in Spanish pantalones (pants) are always feminine, even though generally worn by men.
All you need to speak German is a sufficiently bad head cold.
Well, over at Baby Blue Satan, all the talk’s about some dumbass doing a high-wire walk across the fucking Grand Canyon.
I don’t wanna watch, or hear a play-by-play of THAT.
.
the talk’s about some dumbass doing a high-wire walk across the fucking Grand Canyon
I never liked the “one misstep = death” equation.
For my b-day, I won THREE WHOLE DOLLARS AMERICAIN in the HotLotto drawing.
.
Look Around Cockpit And See What Needs Turned On
I CAN HAZ THROTTLE POWERZ PLZ?
Quick! Buy lottery tickets!
And in Spanish pantalones (pants) are always feminine, even though generally worn by men.
Hell, in French, moustache is feminine. I know women can have mustaches, but come on.
“And in Spanish pantalones”
I hope nobody tries to use that word in a sentence.
Quick! Buy lottery tickets!
On Tuesday. My windfall will buy two plays for MegaMillions, sure.
A voluntary TN education tax. They can use it.
.
I hope nobody tries to use that word in a sentence.
I’m trying to write a haiku with “Spanish pantalones” in it.
.
I went out once dressed
in Spanish pantalones
spring rains ruined them.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
June 24, 2013 at 11:58
oh, well done! culottes to you!
Still digging out from the rubble bbkf?
In Spain one pants alone.
All you need to speak
GermanDanish is a sufficiently badhead coldthroat disease.Fiqszed for greater Scandiwegianosity.
The Wallenda walk went off without a hitch, or fall, JP. I can’t blame you for not watching, it’s the same reason not to rubber-neck an auto accident even though you’re driving right by it…….
Hell, in French, moustache is feminine. I know women can have mustaches, but come on.
Perhaps “moustache” is feminine precisely because they usually sit on a man’s mouth.
Still digging out from the rubble bbkf?
got most of it cleared out yesterday…that’s exhausting work! now hubbkf is on a mission to get a replacement vehicle…more storms predicted for today…yippee!
Perhaps “moustache” is feminine precisely because they usually sit on a man’s mouth.
They don’t call ’em ‘Romance languages’ for nuttin’.
Well, the whole thing about “masculine” and “feminine” words is really just a grammatical convenience. I’m not sure what the etymology is but it bears zero relation to the words in question. I mean, pencils (le crayon) and pens (la plume) and any number of other examples. Pens are girly?
(This is one reason why I can’t take the folk etymologies that are still floating around, such as the complete invention of “wo-man” coming from “man” as presented by some English Bible translations. That bit only really works in Hebrew or Aramaic, as far as I am aware, and even then it is a stretch. It makes no sense in Greek.
The Old English for “man” is “mon” and the word for woman is “wif” from which we get “wife.” A phrase like “men and women” would have been, “Monen an wifen” or suchlike. But Biblical literalists seem to love that one).
End language nerd rant.
I made some Jehovah’s Witnesses want to cry once by pointing out that the Bible they were reading and quoting was a translation of a translation, and it was just possible errors might have crept in.
I haven’t taken biblical literalists seriously* since my “Viticulture and Enology” class in college, in which the professor pointed out the “don’t put new wine in old bottles” as an example of a mistranslation. It should have been “new wine in old skins to make sense (new wine still fermenting, new skins being stretchy enough to accomodate this).
*OK, I never did, if I thought of it at all. The class just gave me a nice example.
AROO AROO AROO TL;DW FR3AKSHOW* ALERT
Thanks for the warning that I did not heed, Jim. I will also sarcastically thank the earlier me for dragging section A of USA Today (makes amercia stupid™) home with me from the ScottishClown across the way…
…
Hell, in French, moustache is feminine. I know women can have mustaches, but come on.
Prolly cause of the Italian origins.
“My little Catholic girl, with her tiny little mustache…”
HAHAHAHAHA
http://planetivy.co.uk/offbeat/52494/spanking-in-the-name-of-god/
HAHAHAHAHA
oh my…are my cheeks red!
also, too…that is some church teachings hubbkf could really get behind…
My first diary at Kos.
http://www.dailykos.com/blog/gocart%20mozart
Aww, my first bad review. Isn’t it cute?
“I guess references to Whitey Ford also upsets you
I guess it does not matter that one is a nickname while the other is a racial slur, with a history and with a context whenever it is used. I note that you have tagged your diary as snark but unfortunately, it does not seem to be very funny or insightful. Maybe you would like to rethink your thinking on the matter and treat this as a first draft.”
Well THEY use that word so it makes THEM racist too. Ipso facto QED ta-da case closed.
[/every bigoted asshole who ever wrote for a right-wing blog]
My first diary at Kos.
You’ve managed to “offend nearly every group” there. Which is a great improvement on offending individuals, highly efficient!
Well I thought it was pretty funny. But I’m not easy to offend.
Thanks pup, I try.
Well I’m offended so your spankings will begin NOW.
Gocart’s link even offended my fone so I can’t see the link but I’ll settle for some hot kitty on composer action.
Recced you, Gocart. Everybody is offended. Well done !
The Girl from Ipanema.
El M, you know hot climate farmers, right? Do you know anyone who has experience with UC 157 Asparagus? Esp if they’re in a frost-free area.
Burt, here, would like to meet another nice big asparagus.
I’ve tried it here and was unimpressed. Folks unused to any better thought it was fine but when I lived in Maine I grew superb asparagus. Bed preparation and richness are crucial.
Or; Ask me what you want to know.
I have had great luck with asparagus here and am loathe to not have it elsewhere. Might be a hopeless cause.
It’s the lettuce I miss. Lie back and think of the melons.
HAHAHAHAHA
You could troll Leviticus for just about any justification for a particular kink…
I just wish these jesusjumpers would get over their sexual hangups already. I was this close to opening the link to the beginners guide, and thought “there has got to be a better use of my time.”
I may still get off the little boat as the tab remains open. Or I may watch some Archer, or VentureBros instead….
…
Podhoretz points out that Brent Bozell III’s name is misspelled on the cover of Bozell’s recent Broadside/Harper Collins book! (Amusingly, Bozell’s book seems to have been pulled from the Broadside side. it’s still on the Harper Collins site. Whew, I wonder if Podhoretz’s tweet was the first time anyone noticed?)
https://twitter.com/jpodhoretz/status/349189102278680576/photo/1
I hate to mention anything Podhoretz but . . . nice call, Pod.
I made some Jehovah’s Witnesses want to cry once by pointing out that the Bible they were reading and quoting was a translation of a translation, and it was just possible errors might have crept in.
The last time the Witnesses came to my door, I took one look at the two well-dressed elderly ladies and told them, “Usually, the agency sends the same two strippers, but you two will do.”
O.M.F.G. This baby moose is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. Squee! Squee! Squee!
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/story/2013/06/24/nl-baby-moose-624.html?cmp=rss
New post. Sorry for the delay. Longer post coming later in the week hopefully.
Gosh, I hope those Mounties know that Moose require at least two bagels-with-a-schmear, and several joints every day. I’ll make sure my phone is on in case they need advice. But they better not call collect!
Can’t wait to hear Teh Stinker’s explanation for why this “discriminating against behaviors driven by environment” argument doesn’t mean we can tell Gawd-botherers to STFU and GTFO, given that listening to your imaginary friends is *definitely* a choice and a product of one’s environment…