May
23

Be Kind. Rewind Time.




Posted at 20:52 by Cerberus

If we all just believe we’re back in the 13th century hard enough, then we can return. So believe! Cause that’s how any of that works…

K-Lo, National Revue:
Politics Won’t Save Us

Things can often be disheartening. Society seems to be stagnant, waiting. Our bought and sold media has been shotgunning as many made up right-wing scandals as they can in the vain hope that something, anything will stick to Obama and allow them to paint Democrats as “scandalous”. Rich assholes continue to buy up more and more outlets to serve as their personal propaganda sources. And real issues go begging as we once again jump through the hoops set by a tiny minority of aggrieved octagenarians.

And so, sometimes, it can be hard to remember that we are actually winning. That meaningful political victory and long-delayed social justice are but a finger’s breadth away and the wingnuts know it.

And of course, being wingnuts, they are handling this realization with all the class and style we would come to expect from them.

Shorter:

  • Holy fuck, we’ve created a monster with the marriage of Christian Dominists and Ayn-Rand-fetishists. Also, I think we might be losing. So can we just hit the reset button on everything and start over so we don’t have to go through the phase where we have to begrudgingly accept the long-delayed advancement of basic civil rights?

My favorite out-of-context mangos?

By keeping in mind that we may be wrong — that we are in fact very likely to be wrong in important ways — we help each other and ourselves to become less wrong over time.

And

The current chaos of our public debates about family life and fertility, about relationships and foundational vocabulary, is an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice, to be at the heart of what makes society work and work well.

If you dare go off the shore, I entreat you to enjoy more…

If you dare, that is.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. A post under 500 words? What foul spore of madness is this? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

261 Comments »

  1. histrogeek said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:59

    If she keeps that up, K-Lo will be looking for a new job. The GOP and its sponsors take revisionists about as well as Stalinists. I’d feel bad for except that she’s done pretty well for herself up to the blinding flash of the obvious she just had.
    My guess is she’ll choose to ignore it and continue to cash checks.

  2. jim, uninterrupted said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:01

    Primary!

    Also, is there anybody who DOESN’T miss the Golden Age of trepanning & cholera?

  3. Major Kong said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:01

    OK, I got off the boat.

    Now please excuse me. I need to get out of my chem-gear because it’s starting to melt.

  4. jim, uninterrupted said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:02

    Damn it!

    Serves me right for flunking Typing 90.
    Sigh.

  5. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:11

    While Kevin [Williamson] has respect for the many good people in politics, he is quite down on “politics as an institution,” which, he writes, “fails first and foremost because it cannot manage the complex processes of modern life, because doing so would require politicians to be able to gather and process amounts of information so vast that they are literally incalculable.” Politicians make promises government can’t possibly keep, and we get swept up in the demand for comprehensive legislative answers to all our problems.

    This is why your grandma never got Social Security cheques and died in the middle of an unpaved street, her corpse gnawed upon by rabid dogs.

  6. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:12

    While technically it isn’t a lie, not providing chickens because you’ve outlawed pot is still a failure to live up to the promise.

  7. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:16

    By keeping in mind that we may be wrong — that we are in fact very likely to be wrong in important ways — we help each other and ourselves to become less wrong over time.

    What the actual fuck? Okay, fine, I’ll go read it in context
    [...]

    Nope, still don’t know WTF that means.

    Also, EEEWWWWWW I JUST WATCHED KLO POLISH WILLIAMSON’S KNOB!

    DAMN YOU CERBERUS DAMN YOU TO HELL!

  8. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:25

    “and too often we argue as though our only choices were to be found in one of two dark imaginations [setting up the straw man]
    [...]
    we all too often cling to the government or the market as the answer to everything [stuffing it full of straw]
    [...]
    we tend to adopt an ideology and stick with it. We insist, for example [that is just projection]

    Whattayamean “we,” paleface.

  9. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:27

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes, but as a matter of federal policy we relegate Him to Sunday church services.

    Makes sense – that’s the only place God has any influence.

  10. Shakezula said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:32

    …an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice, to be at the heart of what makes society work and work well. ^But don’t expect me or any of my peers or the people I regularly hold up as Real Americans to lead by example because um … the greatest suffering of all is to not make sacrifices and work hard.

    Fxd.

    Yes, Pain is Pleasure has been moving up the charts on Radio Wingnut. It isn’t a surprise really. Telling people it was mean to tax the rich and they were just a bunch of moochers didn’t work. So the obvious solution is to convince them that a life of privation is cool.

    “Come on folks! The growls of your empty bellies shall be the drum roll of justice. The chattering of your remaining teeth as you shiver through the winter shall be the call of freedoom! Your tears as you bury another family member shall water the tree of liberty! Woo! USA! We’ll be in the bar.”

  11. Jeff said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:34

    Nothing to say about all the irony in this line?:

    “What works in theory often does not work in practice,” Kevin notes, “and angrily insisting that it should work does not make it work.” Oh, but how we do insist! In politics, we tend to adopt an ideology and stick with it.

  12. kg said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:41

    has anyone else noticed ford’s startling resemblance to rush limbaugh?

    I was thinking more like Chris Farley. You know with all the pratfalls and the crack smoking, etc.

  13. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:44

    protecting the inherent dignity of all human life, for example.

    i call bullshit on this one…you know she doesn’t rilly believe this…

    Nothing to say about all the irony in this line?:

    exact. same. thought.

  14. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:45


    I was thinking more like Chris Farley. You know with all the pratfalls and the crack smoking, etc.

    oooh…good call…he has the odiousness of rush and the comic timing of farley…what would a creature such as that be called?

  15. tigris said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:53

    an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice, to be at the heart of what makes society work and work well.

    Hey, sentencing tax evaders to hard labor is a GREAT idea!

  16. tigris said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:55

    has anyone else noticed ford’s startling resemblance to rush limbaugh?

    I was thinking more like Chris Farley. You know with all the pratfalls and the crack smoking, etc.

    If he ends up in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER it will be too perfect.

  17. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:57

    Speaking of Chris Farley, the Mayor of LEAFS SUCK just fired his Chief of Staff. As in actually fired – not “accepted the resignation of”. Here’s the official statement:

    Statement released by the mayor’s office

    Effective immediately, Mark Towhey is no longer working in the Office of the Mayor.

    Mr. Towhey has been a intricate part of the Mayor’s Office and has made many valuable contributions.

    There’s a intricate reason why he had to be escorted out of City Hall. He’ll have to come back tomorrow night with his cardboard box because that’s when Rob is going to throw all his stuff out the window.

  18. Shakezula said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:03

    And soon he will appear in an intricate series of interviews followed by the release of an intricate book.

  19. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:11

    You might think that this degree of change in the staff of the executive office of the Mayor of Toronto would warrant putting someone in front of media to answer questions. Even if it is only to say something like “not going to comment on personnel issues” or some other such thing. But after seeing the bang up job that Doug did in defending the Mayor, they’re just pretending like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

    So on the plus side for the mayor, the crack video scandal has so impaired his ability to do anything that even the total collapse of his administration is being conducted in a second rate fashion.

  20. gocart mozart said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:11

    Also, they is miscegenating!

    http://dailycaller.com/2013/05/23/obama-to-high-school-classmate-you-are-extremely-sweet-and-foxy-video/

  21. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:24

    To be fair, the photographic evidence does show that Kelli Allman was pretty foxy.

  22. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:25

    They always say that the smartest rat is the one that first leaves a sinking ship.

    Have they announced a replacement new stooge to take the COS position?

  23. Shakezula said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:29

    Thank goodness that Daily Caller article is isn’t overloaded with innuendo or anything. I bet the wingnut reaction to her and Obama’s date will be equally measured and not at all freakish.

  24. Smut Clyde said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:30

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes
    As does the terrorist.

  25. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:31

    Earl Provost, the Deputy is filling the role as Acting Chief of Staff. Note, this is the second time Earl has had the placeholder title – unlike the three guys who got to be actual Chief of Staff. And yes, all that despite only having been mayor for two and a half years.

  26. Smut Clyde said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:45

    Kevin [Williamson ... ] is quite down on “politics as an institution,”

    Things run more smoothly if some individual or corporation has complete power.

  27. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:46

    Whoa. They sent Doug out again to distract the reporters and talk about football while Rob sneaked out of City Hall. Again.

    Our Mayor is afraid to be seen at City Hall.

  28. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:48

    Good for a chuckle: http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/05/23/florida-mayor-candidate-claims-jesus-endorsed-her-gets-only-56-votes-loses-to-gay-man-video/

  29. CRA said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:52

    The 28 comments on that Daily Caller piece are already dumb-n-odious. I wonder what lows can be reached after 10-20 times as many.

  30. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 22:52

    I see, they used an old stooge instead. Probably much more affordable.

  31. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:00

    No shock that she’s strenuously pimping Williamson’s latest lump of wasted pulp – presumably there’s some kind of mutual taint-lickers’ deal going on where Williamson agrees to return the flavour when the need arises, whereupon he then gets a cut from her next exercise in waterboarding the English language until it reveals nothing.

    Wingnut Welfare: sure, it’s ugly as sin, but at least it keeps them off the streets!

    I think K-Lo’s already got the “Rewind Time” thing down pat … Jayzus girl, it’s 2013 & you’re STILL finding excuses to share your butthurt about the bloody Sexual Revolution?

    Unisex never caught on, honey. Deal with it.

  32. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:00

    an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice

    The Republican Party mission statement in a nutshell: Hard work, suffering, and sacrifice for all of you!

  33. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:02

    Old Stooge.

  34. Chutney Gots No Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:06

    The 28 comments on that Daily Caller piece are already dumb-n-odious. I wonder what lows can be reached after 10-20 times as many.

    Self-reflection is obviously not your strong suit, CRA.

  35. Smut Clyde said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:24

    an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice

    That was the Neocon line during the Clinton administration. “All this prosperity and peace-dividend stuff is making you people us soft and decadent. What America needs is some new character-building adversity to restore militarisation the pagan virtues. Hello Bush!”

  36. Paul Avery said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:33

    Hard work. Individual responsibility.
    Self-sacrifice…blah blah blah
    Good grief. Can The National Review reupholster their furniture with something else besides material from Ronald Reagan’s old speeches?

  37. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:34

    I think K-Lo’s already got the “Rewind Time” thing down pat … Jayzus girl, it’s 2013 & you’re STILL finding excuses to share your butthurt about the bloody Sexual Revolution?

    not to mention the abortions…gads, can you imagine spending the day with her? ‘hey, k-lo…let’s go do some shopping!’ ‘okay, but, what about late term abortions? they don’t get to go shopping?’ ‘uhhh…okay…how about if we go to a movie?’ ‘i would, but, you know, there are late term abortions to think about…’ ‘fine, we’ll just hang out then. have some girl talk over some wine? ‘oh, great! i really need to talk to somebody about all the late term abortions going on!’

  38. Get Dennis Some Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:35

    CRA, I support you in every way, I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

  39. CRA said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:37

    Good grief, KJL and Kevin Williamson are shallow thinkers. They already have started over, in a sense. They’re stalled at a dusty ol’ starting line, gnawing on fossilized turds of half-digested thought. Oh thanks Kevin, this one’s zesty.

    “[P]olitics as an institution [Williamson writes] fails first and foremost because it cannot manage the complex processes of modern life, because doing so would require politicians to be able to gather and process amounts of information so vast that they are literally incalculable.”

    I’m sure I haven’t seen the barest fraction of the discussion around forms of this idea. It never seems to be applied to those other giant bureaucracies — the huge corporations and multinationals and networks thereof that are so complex that nobody understands them. And sometimes that’s the point of the complexity. But conservatives don’t seem too worked up over it. Incomprehensible complexity, like waste, is something that only concerns them in liberal government.

    Effective management does involve a light touch, but this is not a conservative insight. Little or no regulation of business, for example, need not be an expression of principle. We could compare totalitarians. Everyone has heard stories about the wacky, pointless things that dictators do. We hear little about the wise autocrat who leaves people alone when and where it’s convenient, but who is found to have an iron grip when it matters. This, I think, is how big modern corporations work.

    But Williamson’s management point was about information. And again I think there’s some truth thereabouts, but so much more. Heirarchies and division of labor (and rights and obligations) would be unworkable if the people at a given level had to know everything below, or sideways. But complex systems can be modular, wherein my function is a black box so far as you are concerned; you care about a narrow range of information, where my doings are concerned. Incomprehensible complexity seems less scary when you realize that most information is not relevant or meaningful to a given question. It’s noise.

    I just can’t see the magic of the private bureaucracies righties like. How do these ideologies harness the potentials and nullify the pitfalls of complex systems?

  40. Chutney Gots No Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:47

    Chutney’s mookin pa nub.

  41. Get Dennis Some Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 23:50

    !

  42. Chutney Gots No Love said,

    May 24, 2013 at 0:26

    Chutney be gettin no nub in the House o’ Sadly.

  43. gocart mozart said,

    May 24, 2013 at 0:56

    Name the Senator from the Party of Less Government Praise the Constitution for Freedom !

    “The President’s speech today will be viewed by terrorists as a victory. Rather than continuing successful counterterrorism activities, we are changing course with no clear operational benefit. We knew five years ago that closing Guantanamo was a bad idea and would not work. Yet, today’s speech sends the message to Guantanamo detainees that if they harass the dedicated military personnel there enough, we will give in and send them home, even to Yemen. With the recidivism rate now at 28% and the increased threat from al Qaeda and its affiliates, including in Yemen, GITMO must stay open for business.”

  44. Smut Clyde said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:03

    I just can’t see the magic of the private bureaucracies righties like. How do these ideologies harness the potentials and nullify the pitfalls of complex systems?

    “Unaccountability” probably helps.

  45. wiley said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:07

    How do these ideologies harness the potentials and nullify the pitfalls of complex systems?

    Like selling debts as assets? Make the pitfall a feature.

  46. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:16

    The current chaos of our public debates about family life and fertility, about relationships and foundational vocabulary, is an opportunity to rebuild a culture that understands hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice, to be at the heart of what makes society work and work well.

    The people who are still working are working harder than ever, with stagnant wages. The people who want to work are held in limbo by corporate and congressional malfeasance, and they are seeing the scanty safety net being further shredded.

  47. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:17

    “Unaccountability” probably helps.

    Like selling debts as assets? Make the pitfall a feature.

    Nice answers. I’ll just set this J-Lo quote here next to ‘em.

    “Encourage the good, help with healing, pick up, and start again. Note that some of those who model this approach to life best are motivated by a sense of purpose that’s rooted not in temporal power or merely personal gain but in an eternal summons.”

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:19

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes, but as a matter of federal policy we relegate Him to Sunday church services.

    Makes sense – that’s the only place God has any influence.

    I’d argue that God also had influence on the terrorist who struck.

  49. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:19

    So it’s Hobbes or Rand? Five hundred year old philosophy or 60 year old wannabe-pseudo-philosophical-bullshit. y’know, I don’t think ascribing to one or the other is a good thing either so maybe Klo and I actually have something in common.

    Also FYWP. And such as.

  50. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:21

    I’d argue that God also had influence on the terrorist who struck.

    Different god. And besides, It was in a mosque.

  51. Smut Clyde said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:33

    The current chaos [...] is an opportunity to rebuild a culture
    Cauldronising and rebuilding from scratch — it worked so well in the Middle East.

  52. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 1:38

    PHOENIX — An atheist lawmaker’s decision to give the daily prayer at the Arizona House of Representatives triggered a do-over from a Christian lawmaker who said the previous day’s prayer didn’t pass muster.

    Republican Rep. Steve Smith on Wednesday said the prayer offered by Democratic Rep. Juan Mendez at the beginning of the previous day’s floor session wasn’t prayer at all. So he asked other members to join him in a second daily prayer in “repentance.”

    During Mendez’ invocation Tuesday, he urged legislators to look at each other, rather than bow their heads, and “celebrate our shared humanness delusion EXCEPT FOR THE PAGAN DEMON OVER THERE BURN HIM BURN HIM.”

    I fiksted it.

  53. Klo said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:07

    http://i.imgur.com/9FjSN.jpg

  54. Get Chortley Love said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:11

    Don’t know much about the middle ages
    Looked at the pictures and I turned the pages
    Don’t know nothing ’bout no rise and fall
    Don’t know much about nothing at all

  55. bughunter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:19

    I just can’t see the magic of the private bureaucracies righties like. How do these ideologies harness the potentials and nullify the pitfalls of complex systems?

    Clyde already re-identified the pitfalls for us in one word. Well played.

    As for the potentials, you need to be thinking “graft and corruption,” instead of “efficiency and public service.”

    But those redefined pitfalls and potentials always go unspoken. They’re tacitly understood by the kleptocrats and completely ignored by the pollyanna libertarians.

  56. bughunter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:24

    Major Kong, have you checked your flaps?

    Some woman from Atlanta called and wants to know if you need them back.

  57. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:25

    Different god. And besides, It was in a mosque.

    No way- same old Abrahamic sky-tyrant.

  58. just sayin' said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:32

    PHOENIX — An atheist lawmaker’s decision to give the daily prayer at the Arizona House of Representatives.

    Why didn’t he just read Matthew 6:5?

    it turns out good ole Jesus had a lot to say about public prayer…. Read for yourself!

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A5-15&version=NIV

  59. Major Kong said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:32

    Major Kong, have you checked your flaps?,

    Wasn’t one of ours. We don’t have any 747s. Looked like China Airlines Cargo.

  60. Willy said,

    May 24, 2013 at 2:53

    Did y’all miss this final bit of mango-flavored goop?

    In humility, we I can all admit to having made contributions to the oversimplifications and intractability of our current debates, and we I must do better. [...] That’s the audacity to hope that there is awesomeness yet to come and that each of us I can play a role in helping ourselves and others get make things less wrong.

    Fixxt for honesty.

  61. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 3:25

    But those redefined pitfalls and potentials always go unspoken. They’re tacitly understood by the kleptocrats and completely ignored by the pollyanna libertarians.

    Quite so.

    That’s the audacity to hope that there is awesomeness yet to come

    I think it’s wierd and creepy that Williamson and J-Lo are taking this The End is Near and It’s Gonna Be Awesome tack. Of course I genuinely hope that the next big phase in human affairs is as “awesome” as possible. But in this context (I haven’t seen Kevin’s book and all I have is the J-Lo link) I’m just worried. What’s “The End” they’re trying to psych themselves up for? I can imagine some things they’d find awesome, but at what cost? People who think late-era capitalism is super awesome scare me enough. Next J-Lo wants a type of creative destruction, heavy on suffering, that’ll instill her values in people. Awesome, huh?

  62. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    May 24, 2013 at 3:32

    Name the Senator

    My e-money’s on either Crazy Eyes or Gohmert … but there’s plenty of other nutbars that’d sound typical from too.

    So it’s Hobbes or Rand?

    Zombie John Stuart Mill sez:
    “Avoiding me completely means maybe that lady has a lot more BRAAAIIINS than her writing would lead one to think she has. Mmmmm, BRAAAAIIINS.”

  63. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 4:44

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes,
    but paying for law enforcement, or learning a little something about the world, maybe stop doing business with the terrorists, or maybe try sending aid to victims of terror attacks? That’s silliness – pshaw you bleeding heart demonistic booked-learning america-haters?

  64. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 4:50

    Note that some of those who model this approach to life best are motivated by a sense of purpose that’s rooted not in temporal power or merely personal gain but in an eternal summons.

    SHE’S AN EDITOR! SHE TAKES THE WRITING OF OTHER AUTHORS/PUNDITS AND EDITS IT, SHAPING IT FOR CONSUMPTION, HELPING TO NARROW DOWN THE THESIS AND POLISH THE LANGUAGE! AND SHE CAN’T. FUCKING. WRITE! GAHHH! JUST STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT EXISTS, TAKE YOUR KEYBOARD AND BEAT IT TO DEATH WITH YOUR ROSARY BEFORE YOU FEEL THE NEED TO PUKE ON IT AGAIN

  65. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 4:54

    Rand’s rorapemantic egoism

    Farked for proper galtianism. Wimmens, silleh critters.

  66. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:02

    She just had to include suffering in there, gotta punish them evil sinners.

  67. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:13

    AAAAAAAATRIOSSSSS!
    .

  68. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:18

    I would limit sufferin’ to succotash, and I don’t see a downside.

  69. 'natch said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:23

    forgot to rewind my last dvd rental, hope redbox doesn’t ding me.

  70. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:30

    JP,

    Disqruptive?
    Disqcombobulating?

  71. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:32

    Disqconcordianism?

  72. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 24, 2013 at 5:39

    Disqestablismentarianism?

  73. Lois Lerner said,

    May 24, 2013 at 12:11

    Hey, I got the next few weeks off. Administrative leave. Paid!

    Woot.

  74. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 24, 2013 at 13:11

    That’s nice, dear, maybe you can see those nice young men in their clean white coats again, for a while.

  75. The 'entetainment professional' formerly known as The Dark Avenger said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:06

    Will I find love and acceptance here if I change my name?

    Will they appreciate my copy and paste work? My knowledge of gongs? And Togos subs?

    Sigh.

    Sadly, ‘No’.

  76. I am Dennis' Microphallus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:14

    I’m such a dick, aren’t I, Rebecca?

  77. I am Franks' Liver said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:17

    Who do I have to blow to get a drink around here?

  78. Rebecca Rectum Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:18

    Damn it, Dennis Gene, stay out of my bedroom or I’ll call the cops again.

  79. Daughter Asshole Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:19

    Mom, tell Dad to stay out of my closet as well!

  80. Dennis Gene Butthurt Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:20

    Hey, guys, women just can’t take a joke. Right?

  81. Frank DiSalle the Dry Drunk said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:20

    I really need a drink.

  82. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:31

    Note that “government is stupid and never does anything right because it makes promises it can’t keep blah blah” does not apply to the Pentagon.

    Because as long as the massive faceless bureaucracy is blowing up poor people instead of helping them, the GOP has no problem with it.

    But you knew that.

    Name The Senator

    I used Teh Gazoogle to cheat, figuring it was our own Graham Cracker. Nope, Suthern, but not South Carolina. Think “my opponent who recently fought in a war is insufficiently patriotic”.

  83. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:35

    Oh, wait, make that “my opponent who fought in a recent war which my associates accused massive numbers of fellow Americans of being traitors for opposing because only a true patriot would fight such a noble endeavor is insufficiently patriotic”.

  84. Frank DiSalle the Dry Drunk said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:50

    Hey, just because I hate libruls, want to control women’s bodies, and used to beat my children in drunken rages, doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy.

  85. DAS said,

    May 24, 2013 at 14:53

    Politics won’t save us? She does realize the original context of “savior” doesn’t she? First and formost, the messiah was to be a political leader. The.Romans weren’t being ironic when they made Jesus wear a crown of thorns for being “King of the Jews” (perhaps Victor Davis Hanson or an actual, respectable classicist will correct me, but as far as I know the people in charges of Roman colonies didn’t do irony): they killed him precisely for being a political leader of a rebellion that, if successful, would have made him king (in reality, his rebellion ended up being a mere hissy fit in which he knocked over a few tables, but since when has the response to terror matched the reality?). It was only later that Christianity depoliticized Jesus (we Jews did the same thing with our Messianistic concept, although some in the Zionist community are going backwards on this) in a vain attempt to kiss up to the Romans.

    But as a conservative, shouldn’t St. K-Lo stand for the true and original meaning of things?

  86. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:07

    *sigh* Household chores, never finished.

    Trash needs to get taken out again.

  87. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:32

    America – land of “mehhh, good enough”

    This I-5 bridge over the Skagit River at Mount Vernon was described by the Washington State Department of Transportation, after an inspection in August 2010, as “somewhat better than minimum adequacy to tolerate being left in place as is.”

    I’ll just leave this here.

  88. Rebecca Asshurt Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:46

    Is that why you left riice flour in my twat, Dennis?

  89. Daughter Asshole Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:51

    My daddy is so important in the banking industry. He’s the only one in his bank with a SEC license.

  90. Daughter Asshole Schlacter said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:51

    And he still tells me how lovely I am, even after my face was scarred with nitric acid.

  91. Shakezula said,

    May 24, 2013 at 15:52

    But as a conservative, shouldn’t St. K-Lo stand for the true and original meaning of things?

    A person who makes her living writing about politics for a political journal is earnestly claiming that politics won’t save us. (For a given value of us.)

    What was your question?

  92. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:11

    Politics is often described as being the art of the possible, and now K-Lo realizes that her dream of an American Catholic-oriented theocracy isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

  93. tigris said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:14

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes, but as a matter of federal policy we relegate Him to Sunday church services.

    OK, how about you stop praying? Otherwise get to work amending the Constitution. It might take hard work, suffering, and sacrifice, including self-sacrifice, but you’re willing to do that, right, and not just call for it from others? You’re not going to bitch and moan about how victimized poor ickle Christians are by our not truckling to you constantly and then expect us to just give in to your dreams of theocracy without any effort on your part? You know, like usual.

  94. tigris said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:17

    So it’s Hobbes or Rand? Five hundred year old philosophy or 60 year old wannabe-pseudo-philosophical-bullshit.

    Sure, but one is also a cute lil tiger.

  95. El Manquécito said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:31

    Sure, but one is also a cute lil tiger.

    And one is nasty, brutish and short?

  96. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:39

    In re: Hobbes, I *COULD* make a joke about “nasty, brutish and short”.

    But I won’t.

  97. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:39

    And one is nasty, brutish and short?

    DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN YOOOOOOUUUUU

  98. tigris said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:42

    Rand and Hobbes might make for an interesting cartoon: she could refuse to make him a tuna sandwich, telling him to do it himself and not be a moocher etc, and he could maul her.

  99. Ayn Rand, being mauled by a tiger said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:52

    The basic political principle of the Objectivist ethics is: no man, or tiger, may initiate the use of physical force against others. [OWW!] No man—or tiger, or group or society or government—has the right to assume the role of a criminal and initiate the use of physical compulsion against any man. [GAH NO!] Men and tigers have the right to use physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use. [Expires with a puff of cigarette smoke.]

  100. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 24, 2013 at 16:56

    No, he would give her asthma after she inhaled some of his fake fur.

  101. Frank Cuffman said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:07

    Hey, Dennis, think I’ll get a Hosscar nomination this year like I did last year for “Fearless Dick”?

  102. Frank Cuffman said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:07

    Hoscar, I mean.

  103. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:09

    Pere Ubu said,
    May 24, 2013 at 15:32

    America – land of “mehhh, good enough”
    This I-5 bridge over the Skagit River at Mount Vernon was described by the Washington State Department of Transportation, after an inspection in August 2010, as “somewhat better than minimum adequacy to tolerate being left in place as is.”

    I’ll just leave this here.

    According to The Times this morning, the bridge didn’t actually break—a truck with an illegally heavy load went over that section, it bounced up at the end, and didn’t quite catch on the way down. There’s a reason weight limits are what they are, but—frivolous gummint regulations interfering with Free Enterprise™, amirite? Eventually people will learn to patronize trucking companies that don’t cause infrastructure failures that will fuck up half a state for a decade. The Invisible Hand cures everything!

    I remember reading Footfall (yeah, I know), and cringing when the snouts dropped a rock onto the causeway between Everett and Marysville, thinking how that would screw things up beyond all human recognition. Well, now it’s happened more or less, but Ayn Rand did it instead.

    What I find amusing, for certain values of amusing, is that the same day Glenn Beck claims Wolf Blitzer was set up when he interviewed that atheist after the Oklahoma tornado, this happens in Beck’s home town. Maybe doG does have a sense of humor after all.

  104. DAS said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:11

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes, but as a matter of federal policy we relegate Him to Sunday church services.

    I think this is a very important point, and as a theist myself, I’ll be happy to support rectifying this disjunction. For instance, God commands that the society in which Her presence is to be felt should have a system of Sabbatical and Jubilee years; nu? let’s have legislation forgiving at least some debts every 7 years (and associated environmental legislation to prevent soil exhaustion) and every 50 years giving back property to everyone who lost it to foreclosure. For instance, God commands that the society in which Her presence is to be felt should have a robust system of tithes to feed the poor; nu? lets put in place a more robust safety net paid for by taxes. Etc., etc.

    OK. Theocracy here we come. Let’s do this thing. I’m sure in spite of her Irish heritage, K-Lo follows the word of the good Lord and doesn’t eat any black pudding or anything, so she would be ok with the laws of our God being put into federal law, including massive wealth redistribution to prevent the emergence of a permanent class of landed gentry and a permanent underclass. She would, wouldn’t she?

    Ummm … anyone? Bueller? …

  105. Paul Avery said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:12

    You know the rightwingers are trolling when they try to convince us of the virtues of being poor.

    “All the arguments which are brought to represent poverty as no evil, show it to be evidently a great evil. You never find people laboring to convince you that you may live very happily upon a plentiful fortune.” — Samuel Johnson

  106. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:14

    Yep.

  107. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:24

    I remember reading Footfall

    I’m sorry.

  108. DAS said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:25

    BTW — saw a Commentary headline “‘My Negro Problem — and Ours’ at 50″ (link provided for mango hunting expeditions) and was (literally) morbidly curious, so I checked that issue out from the library.

    I was wondering if N-Pod would apologize for what he said, double down, deny he said what he said or what … but instead, he blames James Baldwin. Allow me to write the following two shorters for the original article and the anniversary edition:

    Shorter “I’m a Racist”, by Normie P: everybody thinks Jews are rich even though I grew up working class and besides black kids beat me up, so I am proud today to declare myself a racist idiot and anyone who isn’t with me is dishonest

    Shorter “I’m not Racist, a Black Person Made Me Write that Article” by Normie P.: I don’t hate all black people. I am just mad at James Baldwin because he was being a good citizen in a free market and wrote an article for people who paid him more than bupkis

    Yep: evidently N-Pod gave a suggestion for an article to James Baldwin and offered to pay him (probably diddly-squat) for said article, but James Baldwin turned around and wrote that article for another magazine who offered to pay him more. Now if a white person did such a thing (or if N-Pod weren’t such a racist), a conservative pro-free-market person like N-Pod is would say “well, that’s the way the market works — good job, James!” or a leftist like N-Pod claims he was would say “well, just another reason the free market sucks”. But N-Pod being N-Pod thought James Baldwin was being an asshole and that this reflected on how all Black people act (or some such) and told James Baldwin as such. And James Baldwin’s eyes bugged out at what a racist pig N-Pod revealed himself to be and sarcastically (N-Pod evidently didn’t realize the tone with which it was said) said “Normie … why don’t you write your thoughts down in your magazine so everyone can see what a brilliant thinker you are about racial issues in America”. And evidently, that is how N-Pod came to out himself as a racist idiot in Commentary and drag that magazine down with him.

    And that (without an ounce of self-awareness or realization that he was had by James Baldwin who probably was saying to himself “whoo boy … I knew N-Pod was a racist with issues, but I never knew he was that racist or had that many issues … ya know, it kinda proves my thesis about white folks … hey, why don’t I mess with him a bit and see if he’s egoistic enough to write his views down in his magazine!”) is the story as N-Pod tells it! I wonder what James Baldwin had to say about these events …

  109. DAS said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:32

    Paul Avery …

    If the thinking of Samuel Johnson was still the thinking of conservatism, I would be happy to call myself a conservative. But I suspect just as the thought of “icky people doing icky things” drove many a self-proclaimed leftist right-ward (or so many neo-cons claimed in claiming that they used to be leftists before they became born-again, so to speak), if the good Dr. Johnson were alive today, he’d be a lefty-leftist left-winger, if only to spite so-called conservatives whom he would find to be as dangerous and off-the-rails as Jack Wilkes.

    Actually, speaking of Hobbes, my dad is pretty much a Hobbesian. When he was my age, that orientation pretty much marked him as a rock-ribbed Republican. Now it marks him as a pretty liberal Democrat as the Overton Window works out today. To parody an over-worn turn of phrase: my dad didn’t leave the Republican party, the Republican party left him.

    Interestingly and FWIW, my dad actually has been compared to Calvin’s dad: as a kid he answered my questions in the same way that Calvin’s dad answered Calvin’s questions, he rode his bike everywhere, etc. … except my dad never wore biking shorts. Instead he used those metal clips to keep his pant-legs clean and away from the gears.

  110. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 24, 2013 at 17:57

    BTW — saw a Commentary headline “‘My Negro Problem — and Ours’ at 50? (link provided for mango hunting expeditions) and was (literally) morbidly curious, so I checked that issue out from the library.

    From day one, it’s been all about race. You should google William F. Buckley’s bit in NR about voter suppression in the South because white “civilization” is superior to blackity-black-black culture.

  111. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:02

    Looked like China Airlines Cargo.

    see?! the chinese ARE still trying to kill us! is there some sort of massive life insurance policy tied to the massive debt we owe them?

  112. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:05

    I’ve no time to comment on this interesting mango:

    “[...] I was wrong to think that miscegenation could ever result in the elimination of color-consciousness. I had already been half convinced of this in 1963 by an angry Ralph Ellison, who stopped me in my tracks, again in private, with the biting observation that, far from making us color-blind, racial intermarriage would only succeed in producing more babies who would be considered black. But what settled the matter once and for all for me was what has happened since the election to the presidency of a pure product of miscegenation. For the ascension of Barack Obama from out of nowhere to the White House has if anything heightened the American consciousness of color. Worse yet, instead of putting an end to the compulsive insistence on the racism of American society, it has given this obsession a new lease on life. Thus, any and every criticism of Obama’s policies is now ascribed to racist motivations, and any and every little incident involving the mistreatment—or the alleged mistreatment—of a black is seized upon and blown up into another proof that racism remains rampant, if largely hidden, in American society. So far has this libel traveled that no less mainstream a personage than the editor of the New York Times Book Review has recently disgraced himself with a long article arguing that the ideology of the entire conservative movement is a covert species of racism, and that this ideology has now infected the Republican Party and sickened it unto death. In this intellectually and morally perverted reading, the party of Abraham Lincoln is magically metamorphosed into the party of John C. Calhoun, his greatest political enemy.”–Norman Podhoretz

  113. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:09

    Meh. Lopez’s column was just a bunch of vaporous platitudes that vaguely expressed pique about abortion, Social Security and Obamacare. On the irritation scale of 1 to 10, I give it maybe a 2.5.

  114. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:13

    “…the party of Abraham Lincoln is magically metamorphosed into the party of John C. Calhoun, his greatest political enemy.”

    Couldn’t have had anything to do with selling out everything you ever believed in in order to “win” the 1876 election? Nah….

  115. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:17

    In this intellectually and morally perverted reading, the party of Abraham Lincoln is magically metamorphosed into the party of John C. Calhoun, his greatest political enemy.”–Norman Podhoretz

    Two words Normie: Southern Strategy.

  116. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:20

    Baldwin. Ellison. I’m thinking that N. Pod is maybe harboring a deep burning resentment that a couple porch monkeys were recognized as great thinkers and literary giants when poor lil him was a pretentious hack.

  117. Pere Ubu said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:23

    Resentfulness is 90% of the new GOP.

  118. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:27

    We pray to God when a terrorist strikes, but as a matter of federal policy we relegate Him to Sunday church services.

    I think this is a very important point, and as a theist myself, I’ll be happy to support rectifying this disjunction. For instance, God commands that the society in which Her presence is to be felt should have a system of Sabbatical and Jubilee years; nu? let’s have legislation forgiving at least some debts every 7 years (and associated environmental legislation to prevent soil exhaustion) and every 50 years giving back property to everyone who lost it to foreclosure. For instance, God commands that the society in which Her presence is to be felt should have a robust system of tithes to feed the poor; nu? lets put in place a more robust safety net paid for by taxes. Etc., etc.

    i am willing to go one step further here…only because the timing of k-lo’s arglebargle coincides with me seeing previews to ‘the purge’…that’s gotta give us something to work with to make a better world, dunnit?

  119. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:30

    So far has this libel traveled that no less mainstream a personage than the editor of the New York Times Book Review has recently disgraced himself with a long article arguing that the ideology of the entire conservative movement is a covert species of racism, and that this ideology has now infected the Republican Party and sickened it unto death.

    so…apparently norm hasn’t paid one whit of attention to any legislation posed by the gop for the past, oh…50 years or so? huh…that’s interesting…

  120. paleotectonics said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:33

    Do NOT put KLo and ‘purge’ in teh same sentence. Ever. And stuff. Plz.

  121. Whale Chowder said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:35

    the editor of the New York Times Book Review has recently disgraced himself with a long article arguing that the ideology of the entire conservative movement is a covert species of racism

    That is disgraceful. There’s nothing covert about it.

  122. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:38

    What about purgeatory?

  123. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 18:39

    Psssst Klo? Steven Colbert has something to say to you.

    If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.

  124. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 24, 2013 at 19:05

    Did Podhoretz actually use the word “miscegenation” to refer to interracial parentage? Christ, this motherfucker isn’t even trying to hide his racism anymore.

    Yeah, Norm, some black kids beat you up in Brooklyn. Get over it.

  125. Origami Isopod said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:31

    Dragon-King Wangchuck: Supposedly Ford fired his CoS because Towhey wanted him to get into rehab.

    A friend and I have been bastardizing Amy Winehouse lyrics for the last few hours now.

  126. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:31

    Did Podhoretz actually use the word “miscegenation” to refer to interracial parentage?

    Yeah, he’s using it in 2013 in reflecting on his 1963 article, “My Negro Problem–and Ours.” I mention it because in a footnote he does comment on the negro/black/AA choices he made. But I guess he is not among those who find “miscegenation” worthy of retirement.

  127. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:41

    A friend and I have been bastardizing Amy Winehouse lyrics for the last few hours now.

    Share!

  128. Paul Avery said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:41

    DAS–You’re dad sounds like a wonderful man.

    I would like just to clarify, however, that I don’t particularly have a problem with people who want to be rich. My problem is with those who want to overrule us with their runaway obsession to be the RICHEST. It’s a dangerous mental illness.

  129. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:44

    Heh. I could’ve guessed Substance McG. would want to partake of the bastardization.

  130. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:51

    The fact is, all Muslims are dangerous and must be deported now. Here is proof.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10079685/Jet-diverted-to-Stansted-after-two-passengers-tried-to-storm-cockpit.html

  131. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:54

    A friend and I have been bastardizing Amy Winehouse lyrics for the last few hours now.

    They tried to make me grow a meat slab, I said “Clone! Clone! Clone!”

  132. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 20:55

    A friend and I have been bastardizing Amy Winehouse lyrics for the last few hours now.

    i have an elderly friend who enjoys ‘the lord calverts’ and can play ‘rehab’ on her accordian…as you can imagine, she is a hoot…

  133. kg said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:06

    Well, I was about to applaud my home state over this.

    http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/05/24/2058601/illinois-bans-abstinence-sex-ed/

    But then this part caught my eye…

    Under HB 2675, schools won’t be able to choose the abstinence-only option anymore — they’ll need to either offer comprehensive information about prevention methods, or decide not to offer any sex ed courses whatsoever.

    Sumpin is better than nuttin I guess.

  134. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:08

    Rumour has it that alleged crackhead Mayor Rob Ford is going to make some sort of public announcement soon. I’m hoping he tells us that he’s saved a bundle on his car insurance.

  135. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:13

    Band name:

    Crackhead Mayors

    (I can think of two, but you know there are more)

  136. 'natch said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:17

    I’m hoping he tells us that he’s saved a bundle on his car insurance

    Wonder what he’ll spend it on?

  137. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:27

    The fact is, it is despictable that the liberals are suckceeding in taking down a conservative Mayor in Toronto who is doing a great job reigning in liberal access, that’s all liberals do, take down good people to enshrine marxists and criminals like BHO.

  138. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:28

    Revolving Chief of Staff

  139. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:30

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/05/24/washington-bridge-collapse-nations-bridges-deficient/2358419/

    The fact is, a truck hit it. Stop acting like the sky is falling, liberals. Our bridges are American and the best in the world. We do not need to waste money on goverment boondoggies, if only the super high tax rates that BHO emposed would be cut the market woulld allow NEEDED briges to be built, by the private sector and the free market.

  140. Shakezula said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:31

    i have an elderly friend who enjoys ‘the lord calverts’ and can play ‘rehab’ on her accordian…as you can imagine, she is a hoot…

    I love this person, who or wherever she may be.

  141. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:41

    Okay all of LEAFS SUCK can breathe a sigh of relief. Rob Ford does not use crack cocaine and he is not an addict. He only remained silent for a week because his lawyer told him to. He will continue on with his fight for taxpayers. He cannot comment on a video he hasn’t seen. That is all. No questions.

  142. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:02

    reigning in liberal access,

    Fake Gary is slipping

  143. Mooser said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:10

    “While technically it isn’t a lie, not providing chickens because you’ve outlawed pot is still a failure to live up to the promise.”

    Thanks (in part) to the valiant efforts of My Wife, people in Bummertown can have chickens. Up to six hens. They’re a lot of fun when you’re stoned, but she had nothing to do with I-105, or whatever initiative it was.

  144. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:19

    I love this person, who or wherever she may be.

    i am lucky enough to see her fairly often and am in the process of writing her life story including her escape from latvia back in the day…she’s pretty amazing…

  145. bbkf said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:21

    Thanks (in part) to the valiant efforts of My Wife, people in Bummertown can have chickens. Up to six hens.

    cool…that’s one of the things i love about where i live…our neighbors have horses, chickens and one super-loud rooster…down the road, there’s a family with chickens, geese and turkeys…i want to get a pig and a cow…maybe a pygmy goat or sumpin…i figured the lawn would always be mowed and we could stock up on meat once a year…

  146. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:21

    My wife wants chickens.

    However, she doesn’t like the municipal chicken-having rule that says your neighbors must give you permission. What happens when a neighbor moves? Chickenry could be arbitrarily disrupted.

  147. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:26

    OBOY! Time for my lumbar puncture! YIPPEE! Been looking forward to this all week.

  148. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:35

    OBOY! Time for my lumbar puncture!

    If that’s an euphemism, I think maybe you might be engaging too vigorously.

  149. Major Kong said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:44

    OBOY! Time for my lumbar puncture!

    Not sure exactly what that is but it doesn’t sound like much fun.

  150. Major Kong said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:45

    My wife wants chickens.

    Need me to drop off a few?

  151. Smut Clyde said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:46

    Looked like China Airlines Cargo.

    Is this one of those burning airlines that give you so much more?

  152. Smut Clyde said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:49

    Okay all of LEAFS SUCK can breathe a sigh of relief. Rob Ford does not use crack cocaine and he is not an addict.

    You will know there’s a problem when he features on Fox News with a chryon identifying him as “D”.

  153. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:49

    Need me to drop off a few?

    Do they have little parachutes, and instruction in their use?

  154. John D. said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:50

    Hi, Dragon. Another Torontonian here.

    “Okay all of LEAFS SUCK can breathe a sigh of relief. Rob Ford does not use crack cocaine and he is not an addict. He only remained silent for a week because his lawyer told him to. He will continue on with his fight for taxpayers. He cannot comment on a video he hasn’t seen. That is all. No questions.”

    So, unsurprisingly, Fatso’s reaction (now that he’s finally condescended to address the scandal) is to (what else?):

    DENY, DENY, DENY!!!!

    One can’t help wondering how much longer this particular train wreck can possibly go on.

  155. Major Kong said,

    May 24, 2013 at 22:57

    Do they have little parachutes, and instruction in their use?

    As god is my witness, I thought turkeys chickens could fly.

  156. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:00

    Actually, I think it’s beautiful. There’s a bunch of right of centre newsd00ds who were all torn up about Rob Ford keeping quiet so long and demanding that he answer the charges. So Rob did, in possibly the most unsatisfactory manner possible. So all of the “reasonable” columnists and ed page fillers are now left looking like pantsless idiots. Beautiful.

  157. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:18

    If you Google “can chickens fly?”, the next suggested question is “can chickens eat blueberries?”

  158. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:22

    These are important questions, because I’d like Major Kong to drop off some chickens, along with blueberries, and I’d like the chickens to reach the ground alive, and the blueberries uneaten.

  159. Pupienus said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:36

    Teh Ho did not get me a a Spinal Tap tee shirt like when I was Radioactive man.

  160. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:37

    The 17-year chicken lives almost all of its life in chick stage under the ground, emerging with for a brief adulthood in swarms that devastate blueberry patches from the American southeast through the prairie states. AND THEY FLY.

  161. CRA said,

    May 24, 2013 at 23:51

    The 17-year chicken …

    Has anyone told them about 9/11?

  162. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:02

    17 years old is definitely chicken. From UD: Did you see the chicken Ryan brought to the party? That boy was like, seventeen!

  163. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:03

    Jes settin here in a ridiculous hospital gown waiting. Waiting. And waiting…

  164. paleotectonics said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:12

    AND THEY FLY.

    It’s turkeys what can’t fly.

  165. paleotectonics said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:13

    Jes settin here in a ridiculous hospital gown waiting. Waiting. And waiting…
    Sexaaaay. Open back?

  166. Smut Clyde said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:27

    Jes settin here in a ridiculous hospital gown waiting. Waiting. And waiting…

    Should be writing a blogpost about it. WITH PIXTURES,

  167. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 25, 2013 at 0:28

    Feeding blueberries to chickens is a well-known way of increasing their tastiness.

    The recipes sound marvelous! Will I ever try them? Well, some are ruled out by my lack of access to wild ducks, foie gras, chickens fed only with blueberries, hogs fed only with peanuts, and other exotica like caviar. Or by my reluctance to try really challenging techniques. But maybe I’ll try something from this amusing book. I’ve been wanting a copy for a long time.

  168. Mooser said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:12

    “As god is my witness, I thought turkeys chickens could fly.”

    I’ll never ever get on an airplane again. Uh, uh, no way.

  169. Mooser said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:18

    our neighbors have horses,”

    Funny-looking beasts, horses. Sort of ridiculous and slightly pathetic, when I think about it. A lot of people say I am that way when I think about anything, but what can you do?

  170. Smut Clyde said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:33

    my lack of access to wild ducks, foie gras, chickens fed only with blueberries, hogs fed only with peanuts, and other exotica like caviar

    Forcing poultry to endure a completely unnatural diet so that some fucker can experience a novel gustatory sensation? Surprised, me.

  171. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:39

    Forcing poultry to endure a completely unnatural diet so that some fucker can experience a novel gustatory sensation?

    What’s that about poultry fuckers?

  172. paleotectonics said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:42

    Funny-looking beasts, horses.

    Nasty, bitey thingies, and the inspiration for too much mother-molestin’ country music.

    “There, there, Taggart, just a man and a horse being hung. Sh-sh-sh-sh, do do do doo♫♫”

  173. El Manquecito said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:44

    Radar indicates ortolans in sector C.

  174. Major Kong said,

    May 25, 2013 at 1:48

    Funny-looking beasts, horses.

    Dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle. – Oscar Wilde

  175. Smut Clyde said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:20

    uncomfortable in the middle
    Not true. Horses are perfectly digestible.

  176. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:24

    Know WHO ELSE hated horses?

  177. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:34

    They shoot horses don’t they?

  178. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:49

    My extreme disquspointment continues for a third day.

    Feel free to tweet that URL to @Disqus, repeatedly.
    .

  179. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:49

    True fact: when I right-clicked on KLo’s babble up top by accident, Chrome gave me the option to “Translate to English”.

  180. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:58

    Know WHO ELSE hated horses?

    H. Harold Hubert Hardhart, horrible Hugenot horse hater.

  181. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 25, 2013 at 2:59

    That’s the newest release, it has a Catholicbabble to English dictionary.

  182. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 3:19

    Was going to make red braised pork belly but with the clinic visit and all they aint nuff time now. But wait! I have a pressure cooker! This will be an interesting experiment and possibly the beginning of a love affair.

  183. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 3:24

    Poor JP. Aint it enough that you have Nashville cats?

  184. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 25, 2013 at 3:33

    But wait! I have a pressure cooker! This will be an interesting experiment and possibly the beginning of a love affair.

    And terror!

  185. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 25, 2013 at 3:37

    Poor JP. Aint it enough that you have Nashville cats?

    My cats are soooo Nashville, they work as waitstaff.
    .

  186. CRA said,

    May 25, 2013 at 4:31

    I am very wary of horses. No real love for them. They’re huge and dumb, and if one tossed its head just right it’d break my arm. No thanks … I took house-sitting jobs during college at a sort of micro-ranch, feeding the animals and so on, but I didn’t moon over the horses. And they hated how late I got up to feed ‘em. Apparently 7 am is just nuts.

  187. CRA said,

    May 25, 2013 at 4:42

    Fuck, these people are terrible. Erick Erickson, stupid tweet via Crooks & Liars:

    I’m not worried about my son becoming gay. I’m worried about him living in a society that doesn’t recognize it as a sin.

    C&L response, very nicely done:

    Luckily for Erick (who seems to believe people “become” gay, the doughy rube), there are still a few societies left on the planet that he might feel more comfortable raising his son in — like Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Uganda.

    Erickson’s thought process here is nonexistent or unfathomable. The best-case scenario for his hypothetical gay son is something like Oscar Wilde’s trajectory. Let’s just take that as an example of what Erickson would hope for. Could be better, could be much worse; either way, for Erick a Wildean son’s travails would be an improvement, even without the successes and joys.. What an awful parent, human being, you name it. Erickson is literally demonic or devilish in the guise of piety.

  188. CRA said,

    May 25, 2013 at 4:44

    In the last sentence there, I may have misused “literally” in a way I hate, but maybe not. There are no real demons or devils twisting morality. There are just people like Erickson.

  189. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    May 25, 2013 at 4:51

    In K-Lo’s case Chrome may be biting off more than it can parse.

    Needs to be a K-LoSpeak-Russian-Chinese-Greek-German-Esperanto-English translator app.

  190. paleotectonics said,

    May 25, 2013 at 5:13

    K-LoSpeak-Russian-Chinese-Greek-German-Esperanto-English translator app.
    Industry shorthand: gibberian.
    Now available at Sharper Image.

  191. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 25, 2013 at 5:51

    Got my swerve on.
    .

  192. Smut Clyde said,

    May 25, 2013 at 10:06

    I’m not worried about my son becoming gay. I’m worried about him living in a society that doesn’t recognize it as a sin.

    So he wants society to take over the task of indoctrinating his son with his preferred moral code?
    PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, EE.

  193. Shakezula said,

    May 25, 2013 at 13:00

    EE in Translation: If my son is gay, I want him to be a social pariah and miserable his entire life. Ha ha, not really. Like all neocons I believe exceptionalism begins in the home. But if your kid grows up to be gay…

  194. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 14:21

    Well, the plot thicks. Apparently Rob’s older brother, Doug Ford – who is also a city councillor, spent his late teens and early twenties dealing hashish.

  195. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 14:52

    zomg. The plot really does thick. As they say on teh Intarweebls, read the whole thing.

  196. tigris said,

    May 25, 2013 at 15:54

    The fact is, all Muslims are dangerous and must be deported now. Here is proof.

    It’s amazing that on a flight from Lahore there were only 2 Muslims passengers!

    What happens when a neighbor moves? Chickenry could be arbitrarily disrupted.

    It’s usually consent for obtaining a permit, you don’t have to keep getting permission to keep it.

    Looked like China Airlines Cargo.

    Is this one of those burning airlines that give you so much more?

    I bet that doesn’t look tidy from a pagoda.

  197. John D. said,

    May 25, 2013 at 16:34

    Dragon: Yeah, delightful, isn’t it? Apparently, the Globe sat on this story for months.

    It’s weirdly plausible, though, ain’t it? Shades of George Bush and the rumors of him dealing coke in college and all that. Arrogant rich kids who think they can do whatever the hell they want, and to hell with the consequences. Laws are for the little people, don’cha know…

  198. Shakezula said,

    May 25, 2013 at 16:46

    I got tired of the breathless Allegation Shock Horror [Repeat] reporting style before the end, but it looks like the sister is the biggest clusterfuck.

    I also must say that as someone who comes from a family of … difficult individuals, the implication that one must be a fuck up because one’s nearest relatives are fuck ups is, forgive me for being repetitive, fucked up.

  199. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:00

    It’s reasonable that they sat on it. They’ve been investigating for eighteen months. They still have no one who will put their names on the accusations. They were probably still looking for more concrete leads. Until the crack video surfaced, the story wasn’t particularly topical or time sensitive. Sure we’re talking about drug dealers in public office, but we’re also dealing with a story that’s a quarter century old. No reason to go to press at least until they have attributable evidence.

    That they went to press now is probably based on two separate factors. One, it is now very topical and important to the discussions being had. Two, their investigation and inquiries probably all just closed since folks aren’t as talkative now that the crack video seller has suddenly disappeared.

    I hate defending the gutless establishment serving press, but it seems reasonable to me that they didn’t print this earlier.

  200. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:03

    That was entertaining.

  201. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:07

    I read the whole thing. Was expecting to read about Doug nailing someone’s head to the floor.

  202. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:25

    BTW John D. Looks like I probably owe you an apology. I really wanted to give Rob Ford the benefit of the doubt about his football activities. But if the latest allegations about why he fired Towhey are true, then I was very very wrong.

    The sources told the Star that Ford was so emotional after losing his beloved post at Don Bosco that he ordered Towhey to go to the school and retrieve thousands of dollars worth of football equipment he had donated. When Towhey told Ford that this was a bad idea, the sources said, Ford fired him.

  203. John D. said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:29

    Oh, I didn’t mean to imply the Globe was behaving unreasonably here. And obviously, this was a good time to ‘crack’ (heh, heh) this particular story.

    If this ends up derailing brother Dougie’s political ambitions, then all the better. He’s every bit as venal as his out-of-control sibling, but has actual intelligence, which makes him the more dangerous of the two.

  204. John D. said,

    May 25, 2013 at 17:37

    Dragon, no prob. It’s hardly a bad thing that people on our side of the political ledger are willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as you don’t check your brain at the door while doing so, and are willing to acknowledge simple reality in the process.

    In politics, there comes a point where the person in question simply doesn’t deserve such a courtesy, and for me, Ford’s conduct during his campaign for Mayor pretty well established him as just such a creature. But then, I may be more unforgiving than most.

  205. tigris said,

    May 25, 2013 at 18:19

    go to the school and retrieve thousands of dollars worth of football equipment he had donated

    If it was a donation and not a loan this would be theft, wouldn’t it?

  206. Stig O' Tracy said,

    May 25, 2013 at 18:22

    Was expecting to read about Doug nailing someone’s head to the floor.

    no no no no, Doug nevah did that. Fair man, Doug.

    ‘E nailed mah head to a table. Fair man, but very very violent.

  207. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 18:25

    If it was a donation and not a loan this would be theft, wouldn’t it?

    Sure, but with the whole crack video and drug dealing allegations, a little theft seems like small potatoes. The only real concern was that it would make him look (even more) petty, and that’s not great for his (HAHAHAHhhahaHABWAHahAHaHa) re-election chances.

  208. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 18:31

    H. Harold Hubert Hardhart, horrible Hugenot horse hater.

    Not to mention his wife, Harriet Hemphill-Hardhart, huge hairy-hipped Himilayan harridan.

  209. Mooser said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:10

    ” If my son is gay, I want him to be a social pariah and miserable his entire life.”

    Jeez, just disown him! All you have to do, to get the job done right, is specify in your will that….(insert name here, say, Char Cole) is indeed, your offspring, but is to receive nothing from your estate. Don’t need to specify any reason. An inheritance is a gift, not an obligation.

    Oh but wait, we’re talking about Erickson? I doubt he’ll end up with either.

  210. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:12

    Say, that’s a spiffy new hair(less) style Rob is sporting! Can’t imagine why he shaved off his trademark blond locks. Nope, no idea at all. Did I ever hear that cocaine use is undetectable in blood after just a week or so but that it shows up in hair long after? No, I never heard such a thing.

  211. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:14

    Or his brother, Hussein Henry Harrison Harddart, noted historian of the Hurrians.

  212. Mooser said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:24

    “the implication that one must be a fuck up because one’s nearest relatives are fuck ups is, forgive me for being repetitive, fucked up.”

    I beg to differ. In my case, it proved true. This nut didn’t fall far from the tree. And it’s probably why my definition of ‘manhood’ is “growing up to be a charming fraud”. Now, if I could charm anybody besides myself, I might have something.

    Thanks for the support on horses, nasty critters, and their ilk. Try getting on my back and watch what happens.

  213. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:41

    ” If my son is gay, I want him to be a social pariah and miserable his entire life.”

    If he’s Erik’s son, I’d be surprised if he didn’t manage to be both regardless.

  214. John D. said,

    May 25, 2013 at 19:43

    Yeah, nohing’s set in stone here: There are times when it’s not fair to judge someone on the basis of his nearest relatives, and then there are times when it’s eminently fair and reasonable. As with the criminality of the Bush clan, the Siblings Ford all appear to be peas in a very rancid pod. And their father was a Tory politician. Yumpin’ yimeny!

    That Globe & Mail story really is the portrait of an out-and-out freakshow. And it’s all the funnier because the Globe is such a stodgy, conservative, “respectable” paper. Reading it there lends the tale a weight you wouldn’t get from any other Toronto media outlet.

    Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!

  215. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 20:22

    Doug was scheduled for an interview today with CP24. He hasn’t shown up yet and he’s like, an hour late.

  216. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 20:46

    Just stuck in traffic. He’s on now.

  217. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 21:18

    Did I smoke marijuana in high school, sure. There’s a small amount of drugs circulating around all high schools… I’ve never touched drugs. I don’t even use aspirin.

  218. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 21:21

    That was actually from the Global interview. It’s not he funniest part. Like they say on teh Intarweebls, watch the whole thing.

  219. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 21:30

    Wheeee! I pwnxxzoedfggrss teh thread! Thanx Ford bros!

  220. Shakezula said,

    May 25, 2013 at 21:30

    If he’s Erik’s son, I’d be surprised if he didn’t manage to be both regardless.

    Depends on how much distance he puts between himself and daddy.

  221. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:10

    Here’s a thought. Suppose Rob Ford is completely innocent and the video is a total fake with a really good impersonator. That lawyer who advised silence despite innocence, dude understood the potential ramifications of letting a Ford have a microphone.

  222. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:15

    An aspirin a day keeps the stroke away, DKW.
    ~

  223. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:18

    On CBC NN now. On CP 24, he never did any drugs ever.
    Next interview was with Global, where he smoked a little pot just like everyone else did in the eighties, isn’t that right Mr. Interviewer Man? I bet you’re high right now!
    Third interview – okay maybe pot and a bit of hash.

  224. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:21

    #TOpoli can’t get enough of the fact that #DougFord is addressing allegations of peddling hash while wearing a silk shirt with two buttons undone and a gold chain.

  225. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:30

    wearing a silk shirt with two buttons undone and a gold chain

    Is there anything ON the gold chain? Bonus points for a gold horn or a astrological symbol!

  226. bbkf said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:32

    the implication that one must be a fuck up because one’s nearest relatives are fuck ups is, forgive me for being repetitive, fucked up.

    i am often told that i am the most normal person in my family of fuck-ups…and it sounds like i missed quite a shit-show at my sisters last evening…much alcohol was consumed, things were said, bombshells were dropped…yikes…

    on the upside, this is day two of trial contacts on my eyeballs…so far me likey…they are like magic!

  227. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:32

    Depends on how much distance he puts between himself and daddy.

    I find a continent or so is usually a suitable distance from my own wingnut father.

    I love him, but like him proportionally to the distance between us.

  228. bbkf said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:39

    I love him, but like him proportionally to the distance between us.

    gotta have a buffer zone…the only thing i like about winter is that it means mi madre is in arizona…along with her asshat husband…

  229. Pere Ubu said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:45

    Want some buns to go with your ‘hot dog’?

  230. Smut Clyde said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:45

    Hussein Henry Harrison Harddart, noted historian of the Hurrians.

    How could a Hurrian historian hate horses?

    The Mitanni were closely associated with horses. The name of the country of Ishuwa, which might have had a substantial Hurrian population, meant “horse-land”.[citation needed] A famous text discovered at Hattusa deals with the training of horses. The man who was responsible for the horse-training was a Hurrian called Kikkuli. The terminology used in connection with horses contains many Indo-Aryan loan-words (Mayrhofer, 1974).

  231. CRA said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:49

    Bleh, my mom just sent me some WSJ stories about the IRS scandal. One of them is Peggy Noonan’s. No elaboration on mom’s part but still.

    She may be getting the idea that I’m close-minded but I have trouble explaining why I don’t want to engage on these issues. I don’t enjoy it and I value our relationship more than the debates or exchanges. I already know the Tea Party perspective. I’ve probably already seen the damned Noonan op-ed, and it’s hers, so enough said.

  232. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 22:57

    Is there anything ON the gold chain? Bonus points for a gold horn or a astrological symbolteeny gold spoon!

  233. Pupienus said,

    May 25, 2013 at 23:01

    CRA – make her watch http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-may-22-2013/nooney-tunes

  234. El Manquécito said,

    May 26, 2013 at 0:16

    Is there anything ON the gold chain? Bonus points for a gold horn or a astrological symbol or a teeny gold spoon!

    Offer not valid in Canadia.

  235. Pere Ubu said,

    May 26, 2013 at 0:28

    How could a Hurrian historian hate horses?

    Hurrian horse-hate? Hardly!

    If you’re a Hurrian, horses don’t be worryin’.

  236. Pere Ubu said,

    May 26, 2013 at 0:31

    Unless you’re influenced by Far East cooking, in which case the worryin’ might involve Hurrian curryin’.

    With durian!

  237. Pupienus said,

    May 26, 2013 at 1:16

    You Hunan harpy!

  238. Pupienus said,

    May 26, 2013 at 2:17

    PENIS.

  239. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 26, 2013 at 2:43

    You Hunan harpy!

    I would totally be a regular of a Chinese restaurant if it were called The Hunan Condition

  240. Major Kong said,

    May 26, 2013 at 3:00

    I’m only Hunan

  241. El Manquecito said,

    May 26, 2013 at 3:08

    To be Hunan is to be discontent.

  242. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 26, 2013 at 3:10

    One more LEAFS SUCK nugget. There have been some absolute killer tweets snarking on the condition of our Royal (York Drifters) family. Absolutely rebelling in “schaden-Ford-a”. But, IMO, teh best came early this morning:
    https://mobile.twitter.com/wilnervision/status/338250934037643265

  243. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 26, 2013 at 3:11

    Revelling. Stupid autocorrect.

  244. Major Kong said,

    May 26, 2013 at 3:50

    Oh the Hunanity!

  245. Pere Ubu said,

    May 26, 2013 at 4:50

    I would totally be a regular of a Chinese restaurant if it were called The Hunan Condition

    My vote would be for The Hunan League.

  246. paleotectonics said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:22

    Oh the Hunanity!

    Chicken.

  247. paleotectonics said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:26

    Of Hunan Bondage?

    Kinke-e-e!

  248. paleotectonics said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:28

    “Soylent green is Peking!”

  249. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:28

    Doctor Hunan

  250. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:36

    Hunan O’Brien
    Nigh Hunan
    Give a Hunan Don’t Pollute

  251. CRA said,

    May 26, 2013 at 6:40

    “I’m not a big fan of contraception, frankly,” [Republican Party of Virginia Treasurer Bob FitzSimmonds] explained. “I think there are some issues, we’re giving morning-after pills to 12-year-olds, and pretty soon I guess we’ll hand them out to babies, I don’t know.”

    Right, instead of putting Cheerios on the baby’s highchair for her to maul and gum, we’ll put contraceptives. Because we’re liberals, and in spite of the fact that babies can’t get pregnant.

    Kinda like that time we insisted toddlers get tested for HPV.

  252. El Manquecito said,

    May 26, 2013 at 6:59

    To err is Hunan.

  253. Helen said,

    May 26, 2013 at 7:05

    So – I post here occasionally and one of my friends (besides BBFK – HI BBFK!!) is Fenway. I’ve been lurking lately and have not seen Fenway. Has anyone heard from him?

  254. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 26, 2013 at 7:05

    The Port Hunan Statement

    The Hunanist Manifesto

    Of Hunan Bondage

  255. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 26, 2013 at 7:51

    So – I post here occasionally and one of my friends (besides BBFK – HI BBFK!!) is Fenway. I’ve been lurking lately and have not seen Fenway. Has anyone heard from him?

    Helen, I recall that Fenwick was planning on moving from Baltimore to Albuquerque. I don’t know where he is in the moving process. A few months ago, he and I exchanged a few e-mails- I will try to track him down and ask him to post an update..

  256. Cerberus said,

    May 26, 2013 at 9:57

    New post. I think it may very well be the longest thing I’ve ever written…

    And yes, do take a moment to let that sink in.

  257. Cerberus said,

    May 26, 2013 at 16:21

    For the site that is.

  258. Wellstone's Ghost said,

    May 26, 2013 at 18:33

    William F Buckley tosses endlessly FOREVER in his grave at the sodden mess his legacy the National Review dissolved into, with guidance from the perpetual catholic virgin, K’lo. Gruesome. Amen.

  259. Whale Chowder said,

    May 26, 2013 at 18:55

    Franky Poo said,

    Dennis, you’re an asshole.

  260. Pupienus said,

    May 26, 2013 at 19:00

    I am starting to like boys and no longer girls, what should I do?

    Suck some cock, duh.

  261. Got Courtly Love? said,

    May 26, 2013 at 19:16

    Hey, Tom, stick it up your Dufner ass, ok?

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