May
19

Gendermorphs, a new series from Scholastic




Posted at 20:34 by Cerberus

And to think, this irrevocable road to evil all started when a single boy scout admitting to liking a Disney movie with a female protagonist. If only America had stood firm. Sniff.

The President of the United States of Renew America*:
Mormons morphing Boy Scouts into ‘Girl Scouts’?

Damn, I’m sure going to be disappointed when this turns out to be yet another transmisogynist (because the great flavors of misogyny and transphobia just go so well together like cranapple or being a complete fuck and being a conservative) tantrum rather than a description of some transformation or gender-swap fanfic.

In fact, why wait? Scrolling ahead and:

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • The fact that the Mormon Church would even think about letting the Boy Scouts be anything other than a hate group about how much faggots and trannies suck and deserve to burn in Hell shows how much more “moral” Evangelicals are in comparison.

Damnitt, and we were so close to seeing a new young adult series about Scouts doing gender transformations to defeat an alien invasion.

And loathe as I am to defend the Mormon Church on anything at the moment (fuck Prop 8), I can already tell I’m going to be compelled to do so as our wingnut du jour wastes no time going off the rails on a crazy train.

As the gay agenda rolls forth unchecked in fulfillment of its published goals and tactics

We will not rest until every continental breakfast contains an entree made of Christian babies. It is unfair how lesbians are denied their culinary needs in our glorious march of oppressing straight people through forced same sex weddings.

Actually, this puff of paranoia is about a random 23 year old book called After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of the Gays in the 90s, which in the gay community is mostly known as a work that argued overly much for sacrificing passion for pragmatism. But apparently it’s enjoying a nice revival amongst the tin-foil hat brigade who want to act like it’s some super secret list of marching orders that modern gays are using to enact Alinksy style brainwashing. And if you don’t believe me, you can just look at the current most-helpful Amazon reviews for the book.

— dragging Western Civilization down more predictably than the Muslim Brotherhood is likely ever to do —

Awwwwww. They hate us! They really hate us!

rational Americans need to come to grips with one of the most damnable frauds in the world’s history: the belief that there is such a thing as “being gay.”

Vile damnable gay people, trying to pretend that they “exist” what with their “existing” and all. Well, I’m on to them and their devious incorporeality!

And yeah, if this actually were true and he really were super obsessed with some the nefarious actions of a non-existent being, then… oh wait, Fundie Christian… huh, I guess not much would be different for him at all, then.

I vividly remember a college lecture I attended in the mid-sixties by the one-time head of the American Psychological Association, Hobart Mowrer, who plainly asserted there is a direct correlation between mental illness and sin.

Luckily, Universities have moved on from the days when apparently any homeless man could rant about the evil leprechauns in their teeth to become internationally accredited institutions of learning. And it happened around the time we let women and minorities into them. How interesting…

But seriously, Mowrer went a bit off the rails when he “found God” going from someone who just thought guilt was a great healer to someone obsessed with the idea that guilt and sin are responsible for all maladies of the mind, considered the Old Testament God a role model for happy families, and only championed group therapies (which turned out to be helpful for other reasons) because he thought it would maximize the times someone might break down and cry and reveal all their dirty icky sinfulness. In short, like most early psychologists, he was a creep who used his personal issues as a supposed universal rule for humanity. The field is better for having moved away from those like him.

I was quite astonished at his boldness — as he advocated a minority view then still held among many of his peers: that God is real, that violation of His laws is the main source of guilt, and that failure to abandon inherently sinful behavior leads naturally to serious consequences, including mental illness.

Fifty years later, the Western world has been deceived into accepting the false premise that one of the most ungodly sins in the Bible is no longer wrong, no longer sinful, and unattached to destructive consequences, not just for the individuals involved but for society as a whole.

Ironically, one of the chief sources of such self-delusion is Mowrer’s organization, the American Psychological Association, with its now widely-accepted position that homosexuality is a normal, healthy lifestyle, and that gays have little choice but to yield to their same-sex attraction.

Where have all the sane behavioral scientists gone?

Of course, not all would agree.

Now comes word that the influential Mormon church, with its progressively gay-friendly revisionism, is supporting the move to persuade the Boy Scouts of America to accept into its ranks young men (and hence the next generation of BSA leaders) who self-identify as homosexual,

Well… kinda. The actual resolution is pretty much a “what’s the bare amount of faggotry we can allow to get the media off our back about the fact that the Boy Scouts are just foot-soldiers for a narrow-minded religious cult”. When all is said and done, it pretty much says they’ll only accept a gay boy scout as long as they don’t act gay, certainly don’t do anything gay or in any way shape or form look like anything other than a super straight Christian and even then the prohibition on discrimination is so weak that as long as there is one other stated reason (including “ungodly behavior”, like say being gay) then its a-okay. In short, hardly a ringing endorsement for joining the 21st century and at all correcting the accurate assessment of the Boy Scouts being run as a religious hate group these days.

in open disregard for the BSA’s century-old “Scout Oath,” which is based in biblical morality.

Yeah, but somehow I think if the Boy Scouts had been as overtly religious as they are these days throughout that century history, I doubt we’d be talking about them except as a “hey, why isn’t there a boy version of the girl scouts, where they like hiked in the woods and stuff, that’d be awesome”.

He then follows this up with a bunch of paragraphs trying to argue that dem dere LDS boys be fag-lovers.

It is to laugh, yes.

The reason for the church’s turnabout? Increasing acceptance of the behavioral science community’s general view that homosexuality is “inborn,”

Curse you science! Is there nothing you do not corrupt with your queerification rays?!?

and thus largely biological (even though there’s no evidence of a “gay gene” — a fact conceded in 2009 by the APA).

This is apparently cited by a link to Wing Nut Daily. Nuff said.

At the heart of the church’s evolving acceptance of gays is also the widespread increase of homosexual children and grandchildren among the church’s membership. Whereas the Bible is clear in its condemnation of homosexuality as an insidious evil, the church has liberalized its posture toward the practice over the years “out of compassion” for families with gay adults and children — thinking such permissiveness is not only beneficial to serious transgressors of God’s laws, but to society at large.

Yes… the Mormon Church is just so loving towards gay children

And yes, as a California native, I’m loving the delicious irony of the Mormon Church’s belated attempt at whitewashing their hideous past to appear more “loving” with regards to an issue that America is quickly turning around on really fooling the bigoted assholes they worked so hard to curry favor with (by making their name synonymous with anti-gay bigotry) in order to try and get them to support the doomed presidential campaign of The Smiler. Delicious.

Justifying this moral shift is the distinctive belief among Mormons that the LDS church is the only true church of God, and as such, is entitled to supersede the Bible with human wisdom in the guise of “modern revelation.”

Put plainly, according to the evolving mores of Mormonism, God has changed His mind on homosexuality.

Which is pretty much the Mormon response every time their bass-awkwards views on a subject like race, gender, etc… becomes nationally known as the belated hateful claptrap that it is. Try and pretend it away by claiming a new convenant that completely replaces the old and everybody pretend that that bad thing never existed. What, did we support segregation well into the 90s? Whoops, new covenant, now we hide behind the magic underwear of our 2 or 3 black mormons whenever anyone brings it up.

Hell, it’s how most religions react to finally holding a belief that society deems far too toxic to support openly. Always having “deeply held beliefs” right up to the point where it is seriously hurting the bottom line and then, whoopsie daisy, new coat of paint, no one here could possibly have supported that bad old coat of paint, I mean how archaic do you think we are?

And Evangelical Christianity is no different. Hence why there are few direct calls for the inherent goodness of slavery or the perfidy of the Irish in sermons these days.

The script plays right into the hands of the clever, deliberate gay agenda for transforming Western society.

So wait, if these powerful non-existent gay sorcerers can actually bend the mind of God, then why the fuck are you worrying about some yahoos in Utah? The queers can make the Lord of All Creation dance to Lady Gaga on his little puppet-strings. I think we can safely say that the gays have well and truly checkmated you on this day (and how).

Blind leading the blind

The LDS church’s migrating position on gays stems in large measure from the inordinate value Mormons place on formal education. Unusually authoritarian as a society, Mormonism is naturally inclined to rely on respected authorities in academia’s behavioral sciences for guidance

Oh yes, kiddies, it’s our good friend IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION. Oh, how we missed you while you were gone.

The origin of gender

Oh this should be good.

No matter the merits of such doctrine to non-Mormons, this official teaching of the church disallows any notion that gays are “born” gay. The LDS doctrine of “pre-mortal” existence requires acceptance of the belief that all males and all females lived as such “before the world was,” and that God placed male spirits in male bodies on earth when the time was right, and did the same for females, respectively.

Since there is no scriptural doctrine in the LDS canon that God is a prankster, or that He makes inadvertent mistakes, any suggestion that males occasionally end up in female bodies, and vice versa, is heretical — if not outright apostasy from the scriptural doctrines of the church.

God NEVER makes mistakes like putting a person in the wrong sexed body! EVER! Other mistakes God NEVER makes? Creating a non-viable embryo in a woman’s body. Fatal Genetic Disorders. The popularity of Justin Bieber.

And let’s not even get into the existence of those born into a body that is not easily assignable as either male or female.

Yeah, I guess it’s easy to view the world we live in as a flawless clock expertly planned as long as you clamp your hands over your ears and sing really loudly every time it makes a painfully loud grinding noise and winds back 3 hours.

But hey, why let me get you down, I’m one of those non-existent groups of people you nonetheless obsess over and hate for no reason.

Even worse, to deliberately redefine God’s creation of man and woman to match the unscientific rationalizations of behavioral science is the height of profane insult

Science. You’re doing it wrong.

Seriously, they are so desperate for the accuracy rating of science that they borrow the language even when it makes no fucking sense like here.

warranting God’s condemnation if the scriptures are believable regarding human nature.

Wah! Our God hates the existence of people who confuse us about our presuppositions on how the world works! Go away nasty peoples that challenge us! And boo any religion that doesn’t jump on the Denial Express with us.

God hasn’t decreed that the “sacred powers of procreation” be employed only between members of the opposite sex; rather, He has so designed our bodies that no other exercise of such powers is even possible!

Persons of either sex can’t “employ the sacred powers of procreation” with others of their own kind in any way, on any basis, by order of God-ordained reality. Members of the same sex can misuse their bodies and their sexuality — but they can’t truly “exercise the powers of procreation.” They’re intrinsically impotent.

In LDS leaders’ eagerness to sound profound before “the world,” they overlooked this thoughtless error and published something irretrievably silly.

God doesn’t say silly things, of course, but sometimes LDS leaders do — as in this case, where they proclaim it’s wrong for gays to procreate. I caught the absurdity the first time I read the Proclamation when it was released in 1995.

Oh this section is just precious.

He’s going to huff and he’s going to puff and he’s going to lord it over how silly that foolish religious idiot is believing such complete and utter nonsense. How silly could they be to do that, what ho ho.

And bonus ironygasms on the way he just strides up to the sex-phobic euphemism and chides it in an overly literal way before faceplanting himself on the fact that there’s a fuckton more to sex than just the creation of children (not to mention that vile nasty science has made fucking hardly necessary for that anymore).

Now that’s ironic, and amusing.

Indeed.

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. (emphasis added)

Pretty straightforward.

That is indeed…a word.

In the beginning, therefore — meaning the beginning of pre-mortal “spiritual” existence — God created male and female, and nothing in between, bisexual, homosexual, transgender, or otherwise gender-challenged.

That’s not how… any of that… sigh… at least I know understand a little more of why my uncle kept trying to insist that since I was undergoing transition, I must be bisexual. Or I would if that still wasn’t batshit nonsense.

Such “identity and purpose” was divinely chosen and assigned. Thereafter, God’s selection of gender for all persons, being divinely-chosen, was meant to remain fixed throughout each individual’s earth life and all eternity.

And lo it is that our earthy vessel is but a form for our immortal spirits, for it is that spirit, the internal reality of the mind and its god-given assurances of truth, that should be respected and seen as the truth above all. Though the outward face of the vessel may seem to us different than what we’ve been raised to expect from that inward self, God’s truth shines through and-

Oh I’m sorry for actually expecting internal consistency from these bigots. I guess all that blah blah blah about the mind being the house of the spirit and our flesh being disposable examples of sin fly right out the window once it comes to accepting a trans* person’s gender. Just like how all the blather about the goodness of celibacy and living a chaste life go right out the window when it’s an asexual woman talking to her pastor about why she has no plans to marry (yeah, there are more than a few asexuals who were immediately told that God’s most important commandment was to be fruitful and multiply when they came out to their pastors).

It’s almost like all these “divine-inspired” Holy Laws that you’ve lived your life by since last Thursday are just hastily cobbled together excuses for your bigotries coated in the language of a divine authority so it can sound like someone more important than you shares your exact prejudices and doesn’t think you should ever grow as a person.

How very convenient that belief system is.

God did not “mess up” and place a female spirit in a male body, or the reverse.

NO! NO ERRORS! EVER EVER EVERVEVRVERVEVR! WAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Mommy, the mean non-existent trannies are confronting me with the illogic of my supposedly divine inspired bigotry again! Make them stop, mommy! It’s unfair! Make them go away so I never have to accept that I live in a chaotic universe ruled by chance and if I ever want to have a world where mistakes and cruelties are not allowed to propagate, then I’ll have to actually make it happen myself often by angering a lot of powerful people and taking some legitimate risks for other people! WAHHHHHHH!

Even the very thought that such self-evident truth might have loopholes, exceptions, or errors is patently evil and inconceivable, considering the divine source of all assigned gender.

Yeah, that’s right. Not only am I the non-existent puppet master of God, but I am in fact a being of pure evil, “existing” solely to make holy men question their inane assumptions about reality and gender even though that and I am impossible.

Fear me, for I am Cerberus, destroyer of worlds! Mother of the unending night! Fear me and repent! First we’ll turn your boy scouts gay! Then we’ll turn them into girls! Next, the world! And all as prophesied in the unholy manual of World’s End:

The Gay Agenda.

The Proclamation ends (after admonishing all persons to fulfill their obligations to God and their families) by saying,

[W]e warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets [that is, Mormon leaders].

In other words, put bluntly, given the obvious thrust of the document, civilization itself depends on healthy, moral-based, one-man/one-woman traditional marriage. Succumbing to the gay agenda will destroy families, and with that destruction, all that is good and essential in society.

No doctrinally-informed, moral person could deny such obvious truth.

…Yes, obvious… What with the nonexistent gays fighting for nonexistent rights, somehow causing straight families to disintegrate… in a way that isn’t already done in the way religious parents are encouraged to disown their children for coming out as queer in some way… that’s… logic… yeah, sure, let’s roll with that.

You just keep fighting that good fight there Cap’n.

But know that all your struggles are for naught, for nigh the morn of the fulfillment of the 6th prophecy of Gay Agenda will soon come to pass! The Boy Scouts may eventually think about maybe joining the 21st century on an issue you have long since lost and will only continue to slide into greater and greater irrelevancy to the point where not even your home-grown staff of shut-ins and asylum residents will support you.

And then lo, in veritas, on that endless night, a trillion rainbow-flag wearing locusts will descend and swallow you whole.

As it was written in the Gay Agenda, amen!


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’ve been rereading the Lucifer comic series put out by Vertigo recently, but I don’t see any evidence that it’s been affecting my writing style. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*No, really.

Stephen Stone, RA President

This is the crazy that all the other Renew America descends from. Like a single-cell bacteria of religious batshittery.

439 Comments »

  1. Major Kong said,

    May 19, 2013 at 20:38

    Foist!

  2. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 20:39

    trefoils!

  3. John Revolta said,

    May 19, 2013 at 20:41

    Thirst!

  4. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:00

    you know what one of my favorite things about religion is? it’s that, on one hand, god has pre-destined everything about my life…even to, apparently timing the exact sperm and egg to meet so that i can be born…but then, when shitty things happen in my life, i am told that god just lets things happen…he has no control over what happens to us and it gives him a sad…SO WHICH IS IT YOU LYING FUCKS?!

  5. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:05

    I vividly remember a college lecture I attended in the mid-sixties by the one-time head of the American Psychological Association, Hobart Mowrer, who plainly asserted there is a direct correlation between mental illness and sin.

    because this one dude is the only dude in all of science-dom AND religion that has the right answer…good to know…

  6. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:12

    Since there is no scriptural doctrine in the LDS canon that God is a prankster

    Oh, I don’t know about that. I mean, if the Mormons are using the Old Testament in any way, there’s plenty of doctrine available to suggest God’s fucking with the patriarchs and various prophets.

    Not to mention that I’m relatively certain a statistically-abnormal amount of RA writers and readers probably think God puts dinosaur bones in the ground to trick us.

  7. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:14

    The Mormons are insufficiently homophobic? Hmmm, learn something new every day.

  8. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:16

    cerbs, seriously, i cannot believe you left this just lying around over at ra:

    By the same token, we here define a “homosexual” as someone who engages in depraved homosexual behavior, behavior most Americans seem ignorant of, naively thinking the gay lifestyle — as portrayed by the media — is somehow cute, loving, and benign. In reality, the gay lifestyle involves shockingly unhealthy, unnatural, morally-destructive acts that would be abhorrent to any informed person who possesses common decency. We won’t list these — but you can find them on the internet in explicit terms. Be prepared to be bowled over.

    oh…wait…now i know…your gob has been permanently smacked, your flab gasted and your mouth may hang open in speechless awe for all eternity at the insurmountable amount of idiocy, prudishness and flat out stupidity of this statement…at least that’s how it makes me feel…

  9. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:18

    also, i’m guessing you didn’t want to get your shoes dirty by trying to kick that turd out of the way, because i will bet, that just like the gay agenda, they are FABULOUS!!!

  10. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:19

    Yeah, you guys just take your paternalistic sky-buddy bullshit and go offf and do it somewhere else, mmmmkay? We’re trying to be a decent culture here.

    In other news, having the Mormons (the Mormons! Are there any LDS leaders less than 1000 years old?) slagged for being too progressive fills me with the LULZ.

  11. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:20

    damn…now i want to go out and find an american in possession of common decency and google some ghey pron for them…just for their edification…

  12. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:20

    In reality, the gay lifestyle involves shockingly unhealthy, unnatural, morally-destructive acts that would be abhorrent to any informed person who possesses common decency.

    GOOD FASHION SENSE!

    … the horror… the horror…

  13. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:21

    For DOG said: feed me, and then let me outside. And then back inside. And then back outside. etc.
    ~

  14. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:21

    (because no self-respecting het would EVER EVER put his penis in an orifice God hadn’t okayed, no way no how)

  15. Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:23

    For DOG said: feed me, and then let me outside. And then back inside. And then back outside. etc.

    MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY

    Ours just stand in the damn door, sniffing the breeze outside and trying to decide if they’re up to venturing out in the Great Big Room With The Blue Ceiling.

  16. bbkf said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:30

    For DOG said: feed me, and then let me outside. And then back inside. And then back outside. etc.

    MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY

    Ours just stand in the damn door, sniffing the breeze outside and trying to decide if they’re up to venturing out in the Great Big Room With The Blue Ceiling.

    mine do both…but maeve is easily lured out by a leaf blowing in the wind or catching sight of a stick…luci’s a little more jaded and it usually takes some convincing to get her out…and there’s some sort of bladder fullness/outdoor temperature/wind factor formula that she prescribes to…it’s maddening, i tells ya…

  17. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:44

    Right now, I’m taking care of some wolfhounds.

    Here they are at night.
    ~

  18. D Johnston said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:46

    Surprised you didn’t mention the extra-classy image that leads that article – a picture of a grown man with a beard wearing a Girl Scout uniform and blonde wig. It’s as if Stone were saying “My experience with the transgendered is limited to a smutty cartoon from Playboy circa 1972.”

  19. tigris said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:01

    As the gay agenda rolls forth unchecked in fulfillment of its published goals and tactics

    What “checks” does he think we should have in a free and fair society, one in which law is equally applied?

    Where have all the sane behavioral scientists gone?

    Sane = defines reality by thoughts put into one’s head by an invisible, unverifiable sky friend. Um, OK.

  20. helen said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:25

    Where have all the sane behavioral scientists gone?

    Young girls picked them, every one.
    … Or then again perhaps not.

  21. Cerberus said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:31

    bbkf and D Johnson-

    If I collected every single mango over there, I would have been over there all day. I leave the many many more stupidities for you all to bat around and enjoy. Consider it a late/early/on-time (delete as appropriate) birthday present to all of you.

  22. Mooser said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:37

    “In reality, the gay lifestyle involves shockingly unhealthy, unnatural, morally-destructive acts that would be abhorrent to any informed person who possesses common decency.”

    Holy Mackeral, is this guy going to be shocked when he finds out what straight people do. Who was the last gay person (of any flavor of the rainbow) who shot their wife, their children and then themselves? That’s what we call consummating your marriage, there’s no annulment after that.
    And wait till somebody tells him what goes on concerning straight divorces. And whatever you do, don’t tell him about prostitution, kidnapping and rape. I’m not sure he can stand it.

  23. DAS said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:45

    I dunno. Maybe I feel this way because I myself am a theist, Mowrer may have been onto something. Sin does have serious consequences. And God is very explicit in the Bible about which sins have what grave consequences. For instance, if society fails to look after the needs of the poor, society becomes unstable and vulnerable to attack. If we fail in our stewardship of God’s creation, the land will vomit us out and not produce for us as it rests to recover from our abuse of it.

    So maybe we need to listen to the holy word of God, build up a decent safety-net and care more for our environment before we destroy our civilization and our planet?

    Nah … that’s too hard … so let’s just worry about the ghey agenda instead? I guess that’s what passes for religion in some quarters …

  24. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:47

    a college lecture I attended in the mid-sixties by the one-time head of the American Psychological Association, Hobart Mowrer

    Teh APA is of course a professional union, devoted (like other professional unions) to furthering the interests of its members — in the case of the APA by promoting new diagnoses and syndromes of mental illness for them to treat, and by fostering the idea that the appropriate action in any situation is to consult a psychologist. Experts on morality they are not.

    Cerberus touched on this, but Mowrer was a complete loon — albeit an entertaining one — even by the standards of psychology. What with his fleeting presidency of the APA (he had a total nervous breakdown at the moment of his appointment), his life-long prurient fascination with other people’s marital arrangements (motivated by a conviction that everyone should feel as guilty as he did), his religion-jumping in search of a sufficiently guilt-obsessed theology, his eventual suicide.

  25. Smut Clyde said,

    May 19, 2013 at 22:49

    Where have all the sane behavioral scientists gone?

    Over here!! [waves]

  26. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:01

    damn…now i want to go out and find an american in possession of common decency and google some ghey pron for them…just for their edification…

    I can make it so much easier for you, save you some googling.

  27. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:03

    Where have all the sane behavioral scientists gone?

    Over here!! [waves]

    Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence.

  28. Major Kong said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:07

    You know things are fucked up when the Mormons sound like the voice of reason in the room.

  29. Pupienus said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:09

    Oh how well I remember the divisions in the alleged gay community Kirk and Madsen created. As I recall, their agenda consisted largely of “let’s try to not offend the hets so they’ll be nicer to us.”

  30. Mooser said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:16

    “What with his fleeting presidency of the APA (he had a total nervous breakdown at the moment of his appointment),”

    Well, no wonder he left. Pretty obvious conflict of interest there, wouldn’t you say?

  31. tigris said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:19

    Cerberus touched on this, but Mowrer was a complete loon

    Aw, that’s pretty sad.

  32. El Manquecito said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:24

    when the Mormons sound like the voice of reason in the room.

    Yeah, well I think those woodcut jockies at Riddled are the voice of reason so who am I to talk.

  33. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:46

    It would be so much cooler if those boy scouts could tranform into giant robots.

  34. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 19, 2013 at 23:47

    Uh, “transform”… pay no attention to the man behind the cretin!

  35. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:04

    I would also be remiss if I didn’t point out what the queers are doing to the soil!

  36. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:08

    LEAFS SUCK raised a rainbow flag on Friday for the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Our mayor attended, he seemed a bit distracted.

  37. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:26

    Our mayor attended, he seemed a bit distracted.

    Probably hepped up on goofballs.

  38. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:39

    Surprised you didn’t mention the extra-classy image that leads that article – a picture of a grown man with a beard wearing a Girl Scout uniform and blonde wig. It’s as if Stone were saying “My experience with the transgendered is limited to a smutty cartoon from Playboy circa 1972.”

    haha…yes, i noticed the photo as well…it’s from a scene in the movie ‘fatal weapon’ or some such spoofing the ‘lethal weapon’ series…stone’s complete fail at once again transvestism = ghey also just adds to the gobsmackery of his whole treatise and indeed the idiocy of the ruhnoo murika rolls…

  39. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:41

    Consider it a late/early/on-time (delete as appropriate) birthday present to all of you.

    and such lovely gifts they are? i think?

  40. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 0:52

    I can make it so much easier for you, save you some googling.

    hmmmmmm…i wonder what he would make of my sudden and obsessive crush on michael kitchen in ‘foyle’s war’? damn, that man is hot…in an old british gent sort of way…

  41. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:01

    The fact is, you liberals can suck it. The totally parisian way that the IRS treated the Tea party, while approving hundred of liberal bias groups in no time, is worse than what Nixon or Hitler did. Obama is flailing for creditability now, he only has it among the poor shiftless dependents, and the media which is in the tank for him because of SOROS.

  42. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:03

    The fact is, that pile of oil waste product in Detroit? Complaining about it and blaming Koch brothers? Shut up,at least they are creating jobs and wealth in America when liberals and goverment just take it. You should be grateful that this is in Detrout to be sold to emerging ecomonies and create jobs.

  43. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:04

    The fact is, Bengazi is a total failure of Obama and he needss to be impeached and then fired. We should replace his liberal dictatorship with a marshal law and republican balance sense until the republic and freedom is restored.

  44. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:05

    The fact is, who does Obama think he is making Marines open umbrealls for him? He HATES the military yet needs tehm to protect him, he has also spent a billion dollars on vacations, he has no idea what real work is, meanwile liberals attack the Koch Brothers who work harder than they do, and they are not SOROS

  45. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:06

    The fact is, the third scandal, which is the one about Obama taking our freedom away, will surely bring down hgis corrup-t administration and make them seek alysum in some socialest county like Canada.

  46. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:08

    The mayor seemed distracted
    A glass of wine in his hand
    I knew he would go meet his connection
    At his feet was his footloose man

  47. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:19

    The fact is, you liberals can suck it. The totally parisian way that the IRS treated the Tea party

    ooohlala! yes, totes shocking that the irs would scrutinize organizations who bitch about paying too much in taxes…

  48. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:41

    By the same token, we here define a “homosexual” as someone who engages in depraved homosexual behavior…

    Makes you wonder what he considers “normal” or “decent” homosexual behavior. I have some ideas, but as a straight guy, I’ll leave the stage now.

  49. tigris said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:55

    Makes you wonder what he considers “normal” or “decent” homosexual behavior.

    My guess is “stumbling into sin and repenting.” It’s the same physical act, sure, but a little JESUS brand savior sauce removes the depravity.

  50. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:57

    The fact is, you liberals are the enema of freeedom, heres the proof http://www.wnd.com/2013/05/congress-grills-top-irs-official/

  51. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 1:58

    As far as I know, the proper terminology is “whacked out on goofballs”.

    YMMV.

  52. El Manquecito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:03

    but a little JESUS brand savior sauce

    Sure it’s a bland sort of sauce but have you tried that Mithras sauce? It burns!

  53. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:15

    Buddha sauce goes with everything. Its’ taste is transcendental.

  54. Willy said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:23

    JESUS brand savior sauce

    All I ever had was the bland JESUS brand wafers, which could stand some sort of sauce. They can transubstantiate anything edible, why choose the least edible thing to represent your savior. I mean if I had a savior, she’d taste like bacon, or maybe KitKat bars.

  55. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:29

    As far as I know, the proper terminology is “whacked out on goofballs”.

    AS mfar as I know it was “hopped up on goofballs” Or at least that is the version “the Simpson’s” used.

  56. El Manquecito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:38

    if I had a savior, she’d taste like bacon

    I once worshipped at the altar of Teuscher champagne truffles but few of my prayers were answered.

  57. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:39

    if I had a savior, she’d taste like bacon
    Most highly flavoured lady SHUT UP SMUT

  58. Austin Loomis said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:40

    You know what, B^4, I LIKE YOU. You’re not like the other people, here in the trailer park.

  59. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:51

    This Stone guy really has a bug up his butt about Mormonism. In another post he alludes to a “stake president who has obsessively tormented me and my family for several years over our political work.” Is being anti-Mormon somehow cooler or more acceptable in fundie Xn circles than being anti-Roman Catholic?

  60. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:51

    “Hepped up on goofballs” is canon, people, IT’S FUCKING CANON.

  61. VCarlson said,

    May 20, 2013 at 2:56

    Pere Ubu said,

    May 19, 2013 at 21:21

    (because no self-respecting het would EVER EVER put his penis in an orifice God hadn’t okayed, no way no how)

    Sorry, but you just hit one of my triggers. The default human is not male. Not every human has a penis, or wants one.

    That is all.

  62. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 20, 2013 at 3:01

    OK, I clicked around there a little more, and it turns out Stone is a former Mormon who was kicked out of the church for working for Alan Keyes.

    This guy loves Keyes so much he followed him to Illinois (I think):

    The psychological and mental interference by the church once again intruded into the family’s efforts to assist Alan — for whom they worked as hard as they could under the oppressive circumstances.

    Yeah, Keyes probably would have lost to Obama even worse if it hadn’t been for you.

  63. VCarlson said,

    May 20, 2013 at 3:15

    Also, I wish these christianists would just STFU with their constant preaching of hatred and intolerance. They give other religious folk (like me) a bad name.

    What’s so difficult about the concepts of “not everyone believes as you do” and “have you ever considered the possibility that you might be wrong in your interpretation of the Bible (which is just one of a number of sacred texts, see my first concept)?” I mean, all sacred texts are written down by humans and interpreted by humans, and while the person doing the original telling may have genuinely believed he (and it was almost always “he,” for some reason) was truly hearing the word of God/Ghu/ the FSM, he (or she) might have been wrong, and the people following might have been wrong in their interpretation(s). As a Quaker, I try to listen for God, but any revelations I might have experienced have pretty much been limited to my individual behavior. And, of course, there is always the very real possibility the atheists are right.

  64. wiley said,

    May 20, 2013 at 3:24

    Same as it ever was.

    Among the many advantages gained in my change from Covey’s to Freeland’s—startling as the statement may be—was the fact that the latter gentleman made no profession of religion. I assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the south—as I have observed it and proved it—is a mere covering for the most horrid crimes; the justifier of the most appalling barbarity; a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds; and a secure shelter, under which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal abominations fester and flourish. Were I again to be reduced to the condition of a slave, next to that calamity, I should regard the fact of being the slave of a religious slaveholder, the greatest that could befall me. For all slaveholders with whom I have ever met, religious slaveholders are the worst. I have found them, almost invariably, the vilest, meanest and basest of their class. Exceptions there may be, but this is true of religious slaveholders, as a class.

    ~ Frederick Douglass

    Except they ain’t got no slaves to whip.

  65. jim, in yr paradigm-base killing yr narrative-dudes said,

    May 20, 2013 at 3:57

    Homophobe infighting?

    OH WHAT A TRAGEDY.

    Also too, the term “doctrinally-informed” hurts my brain.
    Obviously, taking that Linguistics course in uni was a big mistake.

    PS: According to my dim recollection The Bibble is pretty meh about the ghey* compared to blaspheming against the Holy Spirit – which from the scriptural context seems to include using swear words.

    Rape babies & eat them alive, immolate grannies & piss on them to put them out, get rich selling credit-default swaps, the sky’s the limit – none of it counts as long as you sincerely repent pre-mortem … but blaspheming against the Holy Spirit is HARDCORE. You do that particular no-no & it’s a ticket to a guaranteed permanent barbecue the moment you die, & not even Jesus H. Christ Himself can do diddly-shit to help you.

    Sooooooooo … whatever you do, don’t ever hit your thumb with a hammer?
    ________________________________________________________________________
    * Same with abortion … & in fact (speaking of God changing His mind overnight) teh Southern Baptists were officially pro-choice back in the Late Triassic early 70s, at least if abortion was best for the health of the ladyfolks.
    /memoryhole

  66. El Manquecito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 4:11

    a ticket to a guaranteed permanent barbecue

    Can I make that west Tennessee barbecue, somewhere between Memphis and Jackson? Like Pulliam’s in Humboldt? Cause an eternity at some chain yellow sauce BBQ would be Hell indeed.

  67. Another Kiwi said,

    May 20, 2013 at 5:16

    Yeah, well I think those woodcut jockies at Riddled are the voice of reason so who am I to talk.
    Voice of a reason and that reason is we asked everyone and they said that it wasn’t theirs so we kept it.

  68. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 5:48

    The default human is not male. Not every human has a penis, or wants one.

    Note that I could not think offhand of an equivalent for the female gender, though I’m given to understand that modern technology enables the interested lady to perform penistics if she wishes.

    And while we may realize the default human is not penis-enabled, the folks at AR undoubtedly assume otherwise. Because Adam blah blah Bible ackety foo pibble snotz dingo marmalade.

  69. CRA said,

    May 20, 2013 at 6:19

    The reason for the church’s turnabout? Increasing acceptance of the behavioral science community’s general view that homosexuality is “inborn,” and thus largely biological (even though there’s no evidence of a “gay gene” — a fact conceded in 2009 by the APA).

    Funny thing, this sentence was composed by someone who doesn’t believe in “reason”, “acceptance”, “science”, “homosexuality”, “biology”, “evidence”, “gay”, “genes”, “facts”, “conceding”, or “psychology” (APA-approved or not). And I’m pretty sure a case could be made against his belief in “[a Mormon] church”, “community”, and “2009.”

  70. Chris said,

    May 20, 2013 at 6:35

    This Stone guy really has a bug up his butt about Mormonism. In another post he alludes to a “stake president who has obsessively tormented me and my family for several years over our political work.” Is being anti-Mormon somehow cooler or more acceptable in fundie Xn circles than being anti-Roman Catholic?

    In my experience, yes, it’s more acceptable. The fundies I knew in college hated Catholics, but it was absolutely no-holds-barred hatred when it came to the Mormons. I suspect the fact that Catholics make up a quarter of the American population and that the Catholic Church is probably the biggest institution leading the fight against abortion and gay marriage have done a lot to tone down fundie prejudices over the years – Catholics are part of the landscape whether they like it or not. Mormons making up a much smaller share of the nation, fundie clerics probably feel less compelled to hold their tongues.

  71. Smut Clyde said,

    May 20, 2013 at 7:12

    They had to go the entire duration of the Romney candidacy with the Mormon-hate turned off. Got a lot of catching up to do.

  72. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 12:58

    The fundies I knew in college hated Catholics, but it was absolutely no-holds-barred hatred when it came to the Mormons.

    American sectarianism: defined by who you hate and how much.

  73. DAS said,

    May 20, 2013 at 14:02

    In re not everyone wanting a penis: one year a lady friend of mine dressed as a male greeser for Purim. To complete her costume, she had stuffed her pants. That didn’t last long: about 1/4 of the way through the party, she loudly wondered how us guys managed to walk around with penises and the pants were destuffed.

    She had a point. They do kinda get get in the way.

  74. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 14:34

    She had a point. They do kinda get get in the way.

    “I don’t know hoe you guys walk around with those things.” – Elaine Benes

    (FWIW, it’s never seemed a problem to me. Not sure what I’m doing right/wrong.)

  75. Austin Loomis said,

    May 20, 2013 at 15:07

    Wow. There’s reading for comprehension, and there’s whatever Dennis does, and never the twain shall meet ’til Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s [sic] great judgment seat.

  76. Matt said,

    May 20, 2013 at 15:07

    “dragging Western Civilization down more predictably than the Muslim Brotherhood is likely ever to do”

    The best part about RW “gay agenda” freakouts is two-pronged: one, the utter denial that the only group that *actually* has an agenda to destroy democracy and impose an alien set of values by force is (shocker) the RW theocrats; and two, that the surest way to destroy a complex civilization is to introduce radical Christianity to it – witness the Romans, who survived a raging case of teh ghey for millennia but fell apart 150 years after the God-botherers took over…

  77. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 15:10

    hoe = how, obviously.

    Or perhaps not.

  78. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 15:12

    Obama is in the wrong by admonishing them and firing people over it

    Yes, HE FIRED PEOPLE!

    IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

    *snerk*

  79. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 20, 2013 at 15:23

    Thanks for bringing on the lutz, Dennis.

  80. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 16:31

    Wait. Is Pennis saying that Tea Party groups aren’t bitching “about paying too much in taxes”? Isn’t that the entire thing. Their entire existence is solely to complain about paying taxes. Their identity is based around a tax revolt. They’ve expanded this into saying that TEA is an acronym.

    I mean, wow. That’s some EPIC FAIL wrong there. Even for Pennis.

    Also too, just want to touch on Pennis’ actual point – about the IRS “scandal”. Let’s just take a look see as to what happened. The issues arise from IRS wrongdoing during the period from 2010 to 2012. The guy that got fired, Steven Miller, was serving as Commissioner since November 2012. The actual Commissioner at the time of the abuses was Doug Shulman, a Bush appointee who’s now at Brookings. Also still employed is Lois Lerner, the question planting director in charge of tax-exemptions, incidentally another Bush appointee.

    The “scandal” itself is that some IRS bureaucrats decided to profile anti-tax groups. When IRS management learned of this, they identified the behaviour as inappropriate and told people to stop. Those instructions were ineffective. So what we have is essentially ineffective management at the IRS. That’s the scandal. Not corruption, but a group of bisses that can’t get their departments to behave properly. Which, IMO, is the firing offense.

    The other scandal, of course, is the widespread use of tax-exempt non-profits as blatant political tools. But that’s another story.

  81. Shakezula said,

    May 20, 2013 at 16:32

    I don’t even know how you read this shit. To be frank, it reminds me of something a paranoid schizophrenic might write, which makes me uncomfortable because if there is one group of people who are fucked up enough and don’t need anyone laughing at them, it would be PSs.

    But then I think it could well be what happens when some dumbfuck of a bigot tries to put his or her dumbfuck bigot ideas down in black and white AND expects (or believes) people who aren’t 100% convinced of the need for dumbfuck bigotry will read the article. So the dumbfuck bigot opens the great big bulging sack of hyperbole in order to scare the not 100% bigot that if we don’t act soon, we’ll be up to our splenic flexures in Homosexual Agenda.

    No, I don’t know what I’m saying. More coffee anyone?

  82. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 20, 2013 at 16:40

    It would be interesting to see a salary ceiling on non-profits. Anybody making over 100 grand at a non-profit is stretching the definition somewhat…

  83. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:00

    I’m kinda torn on that. Six figure salaries definitely sound out of place for a non-profit, but OTOH, some of those entities are pretty frigging massive. If your worldview allows for salaries in that range, heading up an organization with an 7 or 8 figure annual budget seems like a reasonable job to have on the shortlist.

    I’d be happier if they were just obliged to report that stuff more clearly. For example, a publicly accessible clearinghouse-style database where anyone could easily see a breakdown of non-profits expenses – including all salaries exceeding $100K, what percentage of total funds they spent on advertising and administration versus actually doing the stuff that’s their primary (“non-political”) mission.

    Either that, or just force them to out their major donors, the same as SuperPACs do.

  84. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:10

    Yeah, transparency should be a requirement of entities enjoying preferential tax status. If their execs are snorting caterpillars of off hookers’ taut tummies the donors to said entities should know. If they’re making 200K p/a to effectively run a ginormous social welfare organization then that’s something else.

  85. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:11

    off of

  86. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:17

    “versus actually doing the stuff that’s their primary (“non-political”) mission”.

    There’s no such thing anymore.

  87. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:26

    It would be interesting to see a salary ceiling on non-profits. Anybody making over 100 grand at a non-profit is stretching the definition somewhat…

    I stopped giving to Feeding America when I learned their CEO gets paid $400K+.

  88. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:33

    “The default human is not male. Not every human has a penis, or wants one.”

    Well, yes, but there it is, whether I like it or not. Humbling. And, to top it off, my goddam fly is invariably unzipped when I enter a room.

    However, I have discovered something which at least alleviates, if it does not cure; I always buy boxers two sizes too large.

    So there it is, take it or leave it, but if I were you, I wouldn’t condemn it until you give it a try. Or you can go on suffering confusion and embarassment.

  89. Pere Ubu said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:39

    Come to think of it, you know, I’d venture that the most humans do indeed want penisosity, at least in SOME form.

  90. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:47

    Wait. Is Pennis saying that Tea Party groups aren’t bitching “about paying too much in taxes”? Isn’t that the entire thing. Their entire existence is solely to complain about paying taxes. Their identity is based around a tax revolt. They’ve expanded this into saying that TEA is an acronym.

    No. Complaining about taxes is merely the manifestation of their hatred for the ni99er in the White House. IIRC, Obummer had actually lowered their tax burden.

  91. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:54

    It’s always amusing to see one group of people (or an individual, as in this case) berating another group of people, both of whom are basing their arguments on “because GOD” and a millenia old oral tradition created by a bunch of itinerant sheep herders. Or in this case, that plus the ravings of a nineteenth-century grifter who got his revelations from gold plates. In a hat.

    It would please me if they went off and had their little slap fight somewhere private and where I couldn’t possibly see it.

  92. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:54

    Come to think of it, you know, I’d venture that the most humans do indeed want penisosity, at least in SOME form.

    The vast majority, to be sure. Still nice to not act as though _everyone_ does. Did anyone hear the completely unpredictable news that homos living in states with marriage equality bans are much much much more likely to suffer from mental health problems. I mean, who could have foreseen?

  93. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 17:57

    http://www.npr.org/2013/05/20/184829036/bans-of-same-sex-marriage-can-take-a-psychological-toll

  94. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:13

    Pennis sez:

    The organizations are non-profits, they don’t pay taxes, bbkf. They may complain about the current tax system, as most people do, but the organizations do not pay taxes.

    That’s the point. They are nonprofits under a particular tax code that prevents them from certain activities in order to keep their nonprofit tax status. So the IRS, as one would expect, was asking about their activities, duh.

    Not only that but as I understand it, 78 out of 300 reviews were Teabagger groups. That’s less than a third. What are we so outraged about again?

    Oh that’s right, it’s a ginned up nontroversy because it’s easier to that than to actually, y’know, govern.

  95. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:17

    Way OT – I’m in Santa Clara for a few days at a convention. Every single damned building in the area is an office of some sort. Where the hell do all these office workers have lunch?

  96. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:20

    Many go to Chotchkies.

  97. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:21

    Those Canadiastanis are always so nice. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2326971/Star-mangled-banner-Moment-singer-hockey-game-forgot-words-national-anthem—own.html

  98. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:27

    Also, everyone drives to where there are restaurant then drives back to work. you can’t get by without driving in silicon valley.

  99. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:28

    There’s an In-N-Out at 3001 Mission College, they’re remarkably good if you’re paying your own way. In that part of CA it’s best to have the client picking up the check.

  100. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:29

    Good thing I have a rental car. Where’s Chotchkies?

  101. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:30

    So what we have is essentially ineffective management at the IRS. That’s the scandal. Not corruption, but a group of bisses that can’t get their departments to behave properly. Which, IMO, is the firing offense.

    it’s been my thinking lately that is it no wonder that we see more and more inefficiency and outright criminal behavior (armed forces & sexual harrassment guys) in a political atmosphere that has been, since 2008, fuck that guy! we don’t have to listen to him! he’s not really our president! ? our elected officials and then stinking water rat rush limbaugh said, ‘we hope he fails and we are going to make sure he does’…is that not just condoning beauracracy to do whatever it wants with no impunity?

    I’d be happier if they were just obliged to report that stuff more clearly. For example, a publicly accessible clearinghouse-style database where anyone could easily see a breakdown of non-profits expenses – including all salaries exceeding $100K, what percentage of total funds they spent on advertising and administration versus actually doing the stuff that’s their primary (“non-political”) mission.

    Either that, or just force them to out their major donors, the same as SuperPACs do.

    we belong to an organization called ‘guidestar’ which rates non-profits…in order to get their ‘gold’ star rating, you have to publish certain financial information…we also publish a listing every year of our donors categorized by broad-ish financial levels…also too, our 990 report is open to public scrutiny…you can see all our financial information except for the actual form containing the names and amounts of donors/donations over $5k…that’s private…but of course, they are listed in our annual report…

    i get that some non-profit c.e.o.s have a vast operation to oversee, but intrinsically, i have reservations about giving to an organization that can and does pay its top dogs humongous salaries when that money could be going to programming…i’m very idealistic that way…i think that if you get into non-profit work, that’s what it is for you…non-profit…

  102. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:31

    Oh, right. Now I remember. Do all the waitresses there look like Jennifer Aniston?

  103. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:34

    Many go to Chotchkies

    i have serious case of the mondays…but my flair is looking pretty good today…even though i got all schweddy schlumping boxes out of my van and into our storeage room…i spent a good part of this weekend chipping wax out of and off of various candle holders from our recent fundraising dinner…such is the glamorous life of a non-profit e.d.!

  104. VCarlson said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:35

    Come to think of it, you know, I’d venture that the most humans do indeed want penisosity, at least in SOME form.

    Well, yeah. That thought did occurr to me, but other wordings were about the same, or too (ahem) turgid to use. So I just went with it.

  105. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:42

    But seriously, I had dinner when I landed last night – 10 PM local. My EDT body was not ready for that much bacon cheeseburger at that hour so I ended up skipping breakfast. And now I am starting to get delirious – if I don’t figure out a plan soon, I will be too famished and weak to drive safely and be relegated to hotel food. #firstworldproblems </violins>

  106. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:45

    “Come to think of it, you know, I’d venture that the most humans do indeed want penisosity, at least in SOME form.”

    Gee, why do you think they call it “the organ”?

  107. Thread Bear said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:45

    i have serious case of the mondays…but my flair is looking pretty good today…

    But do you know where your stapler is?

  108. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:50

    Unfortunately, DKW, my trusted buddy for that area is in jail. My other friends there are, while respected and well rewarded in their fields, clueless about food, details and everyday life. Plus, California! There’s awesome food there but Sturgeon’s Law still applies.

  109. Thread Bear said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:51

    Gee, why do you think they call it “the organ”?

    Organ songs… on piano

  110. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:53

    if I don’t figure out a plan soon, I will be too famished and weak to drive safely and be relegated to hotel food.

    Something like 25 years ago, there was this awesome little Mexican place in Alviso, between Sunnyvale and Milpitas. No I can’t remember the name, had something to do with “Mama” and it probably doesn’t even exist anymore.

    That said, my mouth is watering just thinking of one of their burritos.

  111. Major Kong said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:56

    DKW – Welcome to my world.

    Try shifting your body clock 12 hours every other week sometime. It doesn’t just mess up sleep it also wreaks havoc with digestion because you end up putting food in your body when it’s not expecting it and not eating when it thinks it should be.

  112. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:57

    In my experience, yes, it’s more acceptable. The fundies I knew in college hated Catholics, but it was absolutely no-holds-barred hatred when it came to the Mormons

    I imagine it also has to do with the fact that Mormons aggressively proselytize, while Catholics in the U.S. don’t. Also, Mormonism started out as Protestant apostasy, while Catholicism existed long before any Protestant churches. Most fundies reserve their greatest hate for apostates rather than for heathens.

  113. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 18:58

    Thanx guys. Intarweebls turned up a falafel joint about a mile from me – that’s practically walking distance. Plus, I’d like to get a better view at all of these many different and wondrous office buildings.

  114. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:01

    MK,

    I appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to only have to do this travel thing a couple times a year. Will update on falafel status in a bit.

  115. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:03

    But do you know where your stapler is?

    yes, but my tps report is a mess…

    poor dkw…it blows to be in a forgeign land and not know where to get food…

  116. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:05

    It doesn’t just mess up sleep it also wreaks havoc with digestion because you end up putting food in your body when it’s not expecting it and not eating when it thinks it should be.

    this is why i am usually eating…my sleep is messed up enough as it is, i don’t need to add digestion issues as well…

  117. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:06

    I stopped giving to Feeding America when I learned their CEO gets paid $400K+.

    At least they fed one person very well.

  118. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:09

    Organ songs, on piano? Man, starting at about 20 seconds,you find out why they call it ” the organ”!

  119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:20

    poor dkw…it blows to be in a forgeign land and not know where to get food…

    It’s even worse not knowing which of the local moms are slutty enough to let you bang them.

  120. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:22

    It’s even worse not knowing which of the local moms are slutty enough to let you bang them.

    good point…perhaps that’s why he loves the moms so much…they probably feed him afterwards…

  121. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:33

    “It’s even worse not knowing which of the local moms are slutty enough to let you bang them.”

    Lived in that area for many years, and I can bear witness to the high character of Silicon Valley Mom’s. The very thought would leave them aghast, and bring a maidenly blush to their damask cheeks. Anyway, they don’t put out.

  122. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:36

    “Mormonism started out as Protestant apostasy, while Catholicism existed long before any Protestant churches.”

    Protestant apostasy? Was Smith ever an ordained Protestant minister? “No Man Knows My History” is about the most sensible thing I’ve ever read about him.
    Rather than apostasy call it fantasy, and the usual religious bilk (‘God says there is no stupid age of consent’)

  123. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:38

    which of the local moms are slutty caring and free enough

    FTFY patriarchalist.

  124. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:39

    Lived in that area for many years, and I can bear witness to the high character of Silicon Valley Mom’s. The very thought would leave them aghast, and bring a maidenly blush to their damask cheeks. Anyway, they don’t put out.

    as they say, sadly, no!

  125. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 20, 2013 at 19:42

    If you have time, there a place called Flourishing Gardens on 1650 Monterey Highway, San Jose, that has excellent dim sum, if you’re into Chinese food.

    There should be a Togo’s sandwich shop nearby, they’re a lot better than Subway because they feature a lot more meats and cheeses.

    If you’re in a pizza mood, there’s Grand Pizzeria, on 150 E San Carlos, San Jose, and there’s Sal And Luigi on 347 S First St, SJ, they have great ravioli as well as pizza.

  126. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 20:19

    It’s even worse not knowing which of the local moms are slutty enough to let you bang them.

    That would really suck if I weren’t so gosh-darned irresistible.

    Thanks GCL for the suggestions, I still have some more meals to pack in so I’ll see if I can get down to San Jose. Maybe I can ask for directions in a song – I’ll probably be told to head north though.

    I love dim sum, but you really need a sizable group of folks for it to be at its best. Maybe I’ll convince some of my fellow conventioneers to join me for dinner. Maybe some of their moms.

    The falafel I had was not what I expected. They cut the pita in half and stuff each side like they were little bowls. Who does that? Weird, is what it is. Anyways, it was an okay falafel and an okay lentil soup. But then again, even mediocre falafel and lentil soup imake for a pretty great brunch.

  127. kg said,

    May 20, 2013 at 20:31

    The falafel I had was not what I expected. They cut the pita in half and stuff each side like they were little bowls. Who does that?

    Pita Inn (chicago) does it that way. I thought that’s how you make a falafel sandwich. Maybe we should consult Bill O’Reilly.

  128. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 20:52

    Protestant apostasy? Was Smith ever an ordained Protestant minister?

    He wasn’t a minister (he was a drifter and a grifter), but his doctrine is a rejection of the Protestantism which characterized the U.S. mainstream of his time and the “Book of Mormon” reads like a bad “King James Bible” pastiche.

  129. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:01

    as they say, sadly, no!”

    I report my experiences or lack of them, as it happened, or didn’t, to me, if you get my drift, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, does she go?
    Of course, it was many years ago, but I do not remember fluttering like a wounded bird held in the gaze of kohl rimmed eyes dilated by belladonna in any Santa Clara suburban boudoirs, before a merciful syncope relieved me of the consciousness of my degradation.
    The frickin’ place coulda been monastery, for all I knew. Anyway, rising real estate prices chased me out. And, as I said, the women weren’t cheap, either.

  130. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:03

    Of course, I wish DKW all the luck in the world.

  131. Major Kong said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:07

    I’ll see if I can get down to San Jose. Maybe I can ask for directions in a song

    Maybe you shouldn’t have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

  132. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:11

    “but his doctrine is a rejection of the Protestantism”

    And played heavily on the “buried treasure” obsession prevalent at the time. But you gotta hand it to the Mormons, they don’t mess around: they ‘qualify’ their converts as ruthlessly as any BMW salesman. They give you the whole load of clams all at once, and then they know, if you’ll swallow that, you’ll swallow any goddam thing. I lived for about a decade in Salt Lake City. It’s not like Santa Clara.
    Okay, the psychology of desperate followers we a have all seen, but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, what must be the psychology of Mormon ‘leaders’ and missionaries? If you’ll excuse me now, I’ve got some bad shudders I need to repress.
    But then again, all I have to do to put myself back in my place is think of Zionism.

  133. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:41

    Mormonism is still perceived as an offshoot of the Abrahamic religions—that was unavoidable, given the culture it grew out of—but really, it’s as solidly rooted in the science fiction of its times as Scientology is in the science fiction of the 1940s and -50s. Robert Silverberg (yes that Robert Silverberg) covered it brilliantly in Mound Builders of Ancient America: The Archeology of a Myth. Everybody was agog about the “Lost Civilizations™” who built the gigantic burial mounds spread all over North America—of course, Indians were too stupid to pile up huge mounds of dirt!

    When we say Mormonism was the Scientology of its time, that’s exactly right.

  134. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:46

    There should be a Togo’s sandwich shop nearby, they’re a lot better than Subway because they feature a lot more meats and cheeses but mostly because their bread isn’t for shit.

    Thus spake Pupienus Maximus, the food pr0n obsessed emperor of portland.

  135. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:50

    “was the Scientology of its time, that’s exactly right.”

    “Of its time”? It hasn’t gone anyplace.

  136. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:52

    Oh man! Just last week I searched out some Jimmy McGriff because my library was sorely short of jazz organ. Damn fine stuff.

  137. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:53

    But then again, even mediocre falafel and lentil soup imake for a pretty great brunch.

    MWAHAHAHA leftover moussaka makes for an absolutely great lunch. MWAHAHAHA

  138. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:56

    “Maybe you shouldn’t have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.”

    That’s right! Go through Flagstaff, Arizona, and
    don’t forget Winona,
    Kingman, Barstow and San Bernandino.

  139. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 20, 2013 at 21:59

    When we say Mormonism was the Scientology of its time, that’s exactly right.

    The parallels are pretty striking, even down to the extraterrestrial connection.

    MWAHAHAHA leftover moussaka makes for an absolutely great lunch. MWAHAHAHA

    Damn straight! My next culinary project is making nettle/spinach “spanakopita”. Got a shitton of delicious stinging nettles to work with.

  140. Mooser said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:07

    “Oh man! Just last week I searched out some Jimmy McGriff because my library was sorely short of jazz organ. Damn fine stuff.”

    Son, I like to hear you talk like that! Organ Jazz is, extensive polling and scientific surveys indicate, just like Mother makes, and moreover is indubitably the right stuff to give the troops. And also in addition clinical studies confirm it’s good for what ails you? Who could, (as the song says) ask for anything else?
    Me, I am but a poor and clumsy dabbler in the art, but I’m trying.
    Besides McGriff, I unreservedly recomend a large adult-size dosage of the “Natural Soul” album every day.

  141. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:21

    D(as) K(leine) W(under), up above:

    My experience was the opposite. The first time I saw somebody just take a whole round of pita bread and fold it in half around some…gyros, I think…I couldn’t believe it. What’s the point of using pita (pocket) bread without using the pocket as, you know: a pocket?

    Myself, I like to cut the top off a piece of pita bread and use it to make soft tacos, instead of a flour tortilla. Much easier to eat.

  142. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:23

    There should be a Togo’s sandwich shop nearby, they’re a lot better than Subway because they feature a lot more meats and cheeses but mostly because their bread isn’t for shit.

    Yeah, if there’s a Togo’s and you like sammiches, it’s worth a stop. If they have the same menu the one here does, their hot pastrami is pretty good.

    If you want to ditch the conference for a day, head North and start hitting the breweries. Lagunitas is in Petaluma, Russian River is in Santa Rosa, and Bear Republic is in Healdsburg.

  143. Chris said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:30

    Mormonism is still perceived as an offshoot of the Abrahamic religions—that was unavoidable, given the culture it grew out of—but really, it’s as solidly rooted in the science fiction of its times as Scientology is in the science fiction of the 1940s and -50s. Robert Silverberg (yes that Robert Silverberg) covered it brilliantly in Mound Builders of Ancient America: The Archeology of a Myth. Everybody was agog about the “Lost Civilizations™” who built the gigantic burial mounds spread all over North America—of course, Indians were too stupid to pile up huge mounds of dirt!

    I’d be curious to see a similar coverage of the cultures in which Islam, Christianity, and Judaism emerged.

  144. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:30

    I mean if I had a savior, she’d taste like bacon

    No Play-Doh?

  145. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:32

    Here’s what you’re supposed to do – slit open the pita at one end and fold it open. Smear in the hummus, add the mixed assorteds, then the falafel balls, which get crushed slightly. Tahini and hot sauce on top of that. Close it up and roll it a bit to it up. Panini grilling it is optional. Kind of like a burrito.

    I’m even okay that this place jammed iceberg lettuce in there. It’s no pink pickled turnip, but wev, I don’t expect every falafel sandwich to be perfect. But this thing was just plain messy and awkward to eat – like moms in Santa Clara, or so I’ve heard.

  146. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:33

    Yeah, transparency should be a requirement of entities enjoying preferential tax status.

    More seriously, thank you for summing up this entire phony scandal in one sentence.

  147. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:36

    There must be a line, like the Wallace Line, somewhere in the Middle East dividing cultures that open the pita and fill it and folks that put stuff on it and fold it. This natural distribution has been scattered all over North America in non-obvious ways.

  148. Major Kong's body said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:42

    putting food in your body when it’s not expecting it

    One more no-warning “Surprise food” episode and I’ll start putting the end products out when you’re not expecting it, OK?

  149. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:46

    Here’s what you’re supposed to do – slit open the pita at one end and fold it open. Smear in the hummus, add the mixed assorteds, then the falafel balls, which get crushed slightly. Tahini and hot sauce on top of that. Close it up and roll it a bit to it up. Panini grilling it is optional. Kind of like a burrito.

    Ah, I didn’t understand you. That’s yet a third method I’ve never encountered. By the time I’m through stuffing shit in there, it’s way too fat to roll up!

    El Manq—I endorse your theory. As a start, I think it’s mostly Greeks I’ve seen just folding a pita round in half like a taco shell.

  150. Whale Chowder said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:47

    Just last week I searched out some Jimmy McGriff because my library was sorely short of jazz organ. Damn fine stuff.

    Quoted for truth. And funk. And soul.

  151. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:48

    This natural distribution has been scattered all over North America in non-obvious ways.

    Sub? Hero? Hoagie? Grinder? Po boy? Wedge? Italian?

  152. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:49

    putting food in your body when it’s not expecting it

    One more no-warning “Surprise food” episode and I’ll start putting the end products out when you’re not expecting it, OK?

    Just don’t reverse the standard direction of flow. If South Park taught us anything, it’s that.

  153. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:55

    Sub? Hero? Hoagie? Grinder? Po boy? Wedge? Italian?

    Should have started with muffaletta, the most obviously Levantine of the bunch.

  154. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 20, 2013 at 22:58

    Look, I totally agree that putting food onto a pita and folding it is some weird sort of blashpemy. No one is suggesting anything of the sort. I was expecting something like like this.

  155. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:06

    I think it’s mostly Greeks

    and Turks. and Cypriots pretending to be Greeks. I bet there’s some folders over there in what used to be Yugoslavia.

  156. DAS said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:17

    Got a shitton of delicious stinging nettles to work with.

    BBBB is not only a big bastard, a bad bastard or even merely a bald bastard but he is also one lucky bastard. Where I live I am surrounded by all sorts of presumably edible plants, but they sure don’t look delicious and I wouldn’t trust them given that I live at the intersection of superhighways right beside the Valley of Ashes of Gatsby fame.

    I’m guessing, btw, that since this is a commie liberal pinko frenchie fifi site, that the shitton in question is a metric one rather than a customary one?

  157. El Manquécito said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:18

    My apologies for threadjacking off into the wilds of evolutionary sammich history.

    We now return you to the golden plates, the magic spectacles and all the other Mormon lore.

  158. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:20

    As a start, I think it’s mostly Greeks I’ve seen just folding a pita round in half like a taco shell.

    well, obviously the greeks are the troublemakers here since we all know they don’t pay their taxes because benghazi…

  159. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:35

    DAS: It pains me to see all the delicious dandelion greens around here that I wouldn’t want to eat because who knows what kind of poisons people have been spraying on them?

  160. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:40

    Should have started with muffaletta

    It popped into my head but I have an aversion to the word as it sounds like something I do not like. For similar reason I avoid the southern Oregon coast – I dread riding through Coos Bay.

  161. Pupienus said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:44

    Yet more eliminationist rhetoric from the left.

    ‘Miss Hillary Clinton needs to be convicted, she needs to be tried, convicted and shot in the vagina,” he said. “I wanna pull the trigger. That ‘C U Next Tuesday’ has killed human beings that are in our ranks of our service. I want to remind you that in Benghazi, Miss Hillary ‘the fricken’ biggest vagina on the face of the planet’ told troops to stand down and to not go in and interfere with the operation that they set up because they’re moving arms; Barack Obama is moving drugs through the CIA out of Afghanistan and Barack Obama needs to be tried, convicted, and shot for crimes against the United States of America.”

  162. bbkf said,

    May 20, 2013 at 23:47

    Yet more eliminationist rhetoric from the left.

    i read that last week when i was also reading about that rockstarasshat bradlee deane…this dude is plain scary…

  163. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:42

    BBBB is not only a big bastard, a bad bastard or even merely a bald bastard but he is also one lucky bastard. Where I live I am surrounded by all sorts of presumably edible plants, but they sure don’t look delicious and I wouldn’t trust them given that I live at the intersection of superhighways right beside the Valley of Ashes of Gatsby fame.

    Try to find out when “Wildman” Steve Brill will be running a workshop in your area. He makes me look like a piker.

  164. Smut Clyde said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:43

    I for one would not trust BBBB with a pike.

  165. bughunter said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:45

    the extra-classy image that leads that article – a picture of a grown man with a beard wearing a Girl Scout uniform

    That’s Tim Curry! Fukkin LOL!

    a scene in the movie ‘fatal weapon’

    Loaded Weapon 1. Not the best Nat’l Lampoon film, but if you’re into wacky, juvenile and obligatory satire, it’s got loads of it.

  166. tigris said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:54

    That ‘C U Next Tuesday’ has killed human beings that are in our ranks of our service.

    Up which orifice did this guy want to shoot Bush?

    Barack Obama is moving drugs through the CIA out of Afghanistan and Barack Obama needs to be tried, convicted, and shot for crimes against the United States of America.

    Or Reagan?

  167. tigris said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:55

    I for one would not trust BBBB with a pike.

    I think he’d probably cook one up pretty well.

  168. suezboo said,

    May 21, 2013 at 0:55

    South Africa just became the first country to recognise the Rainbow Flag as an official symbol of LGBT people. The Heraldry guys did it. Is this part of the Top Secret, yet widely known, H Agenda?

  169. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 1:08

    Is this part of the Top Secret, yet widely known, H Agenda?

    Yes.

    Duuuuh.

    “First we take Johannesburg
    Then we take Berlin.”

  170. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 1:42

    I for one would not trust BBBB with a pike.

    Is this some sort of aspersion cast at my Swiss heritage? Next, you’ll be saying I only eat fondue “ironically”.

    I think he’d probably cook one up pretty well.

    Only on Passover, bubeleh.

  171. Pere Ubu said,

    May 21, 2013 at 2:06

    Togo’s sandwich shop

    It’S nOt aCTUallY hiS SanDwiCH Shop. hE just TaKes CARe of iT whEn the MaSter iS AwAY.

  172. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 21, 2013 at 5:06

    What?

    What’s that you say?

    Well, fuck me! It’s been at least a week since I shared kitteh pixels! One’s a pretty good macro of a fat tabby (who is getting skinny, thanks to Iams).
    .

  173. Alex said,

    May 21, 2013 at 5:10

    I am so disappointed this wasn’t a gender swap or transformation erotica about conservative eagle scouts turning into girls. Also, am I the only person here who’d read Gendermorphs?

  174. Thread Bear said,

    May 21, 2013 at 5:24

    It’S nOt aCTUallY hiS SanDwiCH Shop. hE just TaKes CARe of iT whEn the MaSter iS AwAY.

    Stay away from the pizza!

  175. Pere Ubu said,

    May 21, 2013 at 15:24

    Oh, look, it’s our own little albatross around our neck.

  176. Pupienus said,

    May 21, 2013 at 15:37

    RIP Ray Manzarek

  177. Austin Loomis said,

    May 21, 2013 at 15:54

    @Pup:

    a) I heard about that… creature last night on Thom Hartmann (he was The Very Very Ugly). There are literally no words in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of Men to express my views about it. Maybe Exalted‘s Rune of Singular Hate would give it what it deserves.
    b) A toast to the man who proved that bass players are not mandatory. The blue bus calls us all.

  178. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 16:52

    “That’s Tim Curry! Fukkin LOL!”

    Has anybody informed Mr. Curry’s solicitor about the misuse of Curry’s image? If the suit fits….

  179. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:01

    “b) A toast to the man who proved that bass players are not mandatory.”

    Sorry, but that had already been well proven by Patton, Smith, (J and JH) Earland Doggett, Spence and McGriff.

    Do you hear a bass player here?

  180. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:04

    Dee-dee-dah-dum-beedle-beddle-bum-bum. Dee, deedle-dum, dum, rumpa-dumpa, dum, dum….
    C’mon, join in with me. Everybody knows the opening to “Light My Fire”

  181. Thread Bear said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:12

    This is probably as close as I’ll ever come to having an excuse to slip this in.

  182. Thread Bear said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:15

    When I think of Ray Manzarek I think of the opening to Soul Kitchen.

  183. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:29

    bass players are not mandatory.

    YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!

  184. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:40

    To quote my friend Norman, “No bass… No band.”

  185. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:47

    “YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!”

    “To quote my friend Norman, “No bass… No band.”

    That’s funny, that’s the usual reaction when I suggest the organ should play bass. I simply smile, wanly, and grimly soldier on. And I’ve got, I wish to warn you, one hell of a wan smile.

  186. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:50

    When I think of Ray Manzarek I think of the opening to Soul Kitchen.”

    So do I. I guess that’s why they call them “The Doors”. Although sometimes there’s a Togo’s or Subway on the other side, instead of the Soul Kitchen, but I take what I can get.

  187. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:52

    Yay! No bass!

  188. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:54

    “As a start, I think it’s mostly Greeks I’ve seen just folding a pita round in half like a taco shell.”

    Yes, but never on a Sunday.

  189. Pupienus said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:56

    Bass players are absolutely necessary. Gotta have one loser to hate in the band.

  190. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:58

    “Yay! No bass!”

    Yes, but I found it somewhat dis-organised.

  191. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:58

    It’S nOt aCTUallY hiS SanDwiCH Shop

    There is no Togo, the name was the second line on the signboard over the doorway of the first place.(To go). The Wiki is wrong that it was in downtown SJ, it was located on Williams St. near SJSU, my grandparents lived on 14th St by Williams in the Naglee Park area. I would say that is was in walking distance of the DT area, which at the time was beginning a long decline that has only been recently reversed

  192. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 17:59

    Norman played at Woodstock in one of the local bands. The first night some Brit roadies stole his SG. Not until 25 years later did he find out what happened to it when he saw The Kids Are Alright.

  193. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:03

    Bass players are absolutely necessary. Gotta have one loser to hate in the band.

    You’re thinking of electric bass guitarists. (sorry WC!)

  194. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:12

    No bass! No perch, either…

  195. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:15

    Yay! No bass!

  196. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:16

    Also I think the first four Metallica records count.

  197. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:46

    Sleater Kinney- isn’t that the name of a road near Olympia?

  198. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:49

    My uncle Dave was a very sucessful maariage counsler, repaired many a rift in the lute, if you get my meaning, eh what? Anyway, he often had to deal with couples who simply would not talk to each other.
    He was often asked to go to other cities and help people, but the transportation costs were killing him. You gotta buy an extra seat!

    Wait, did I tell that one right?

  199. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:51

    For the double-bass! They make you buy an extra seat for it!
    Oh, never mind.

  200. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 18:59

    This is probably as close as I’ll ever come to having an excuse to slip this in.”

    Absolutely, bro, Story of my life. And really, it wasn’t all that close.

  201. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:13

    Yay! No bass.”

  202. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:31

    you know what i find amusing? so many fb ‘friends’ are usually FREEDUMB AND CAPITALISM!!! until…gas prices skyrocket…

  203. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:35

    you know what i find amusing? so many fb ‘friends’ are usually FREEDUMB AND CAPITALISM!!! until…gas prices skyrocket…

    Those are usually the “NUKE THEY’RE (sic) ASS -N- TAKE THERE (sic) GAS!!!1!!” types.

  204. Thread Bear said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:38

    Yay! Bass!

  205. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:56

    Those are usually the “NUKE THEY’RE (sic) ASS -N- TAKE THERE (sic) GAS!!!1!!” types.

    there’s also a bunch of STOOPID ENVIRONMENTALISTS WON’T LET US DRILL BABY DRILL!!!

  206. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 21, 2013 at 19:57

    The fact is, we need heroes like this in the USA.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/may/21/french-historian-kills-himself-notre-dame-gay-marriage

  207. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:04

    You’re thinking of electric bass guitarists. (sorry WC!)

    Hey, I have a stick bass too. Use it in gigs. I’m not just one-dimensional, maaaaan.

  208. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:08

    And Jimmy McGriff cheated. He had bass pedals on his organ.

    …that sounds dirty.

  209. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:08

    The fact is, this is also correct. No laws have been broken, and too many taxes stifle creativity, cause business to mover overseas and feed goverment bloating. Liberals hate success but still use Apples products.

    http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/DC-Decoder/Decoder-Wire/2013/0521/Why-Rand-Paul-thinks-Senate-is-bullying-Apple-Inc

  210. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:09

    Sleater Kinney- isn’t that the name of a road near Olympia?

    Yup. That’s where they got their name.

  211. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:34

    The fact is, we need heroes like this in the USA.

    So what’s stopping you? Here’s your big chance!

    (Hey, pitch a slow one over the plate like that and I have to take a swing at it.)

  212. Shakezula said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:37

    I would be interested in hearing more about slimming kittehs in mult-kitteh households. Got one butterball, one stick insect. Not sure how to bring the butterball down a few pounds without causing harm to the stick.

  213. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:55

    So what’s stopping you? Here’s your big chance

    Far right-wingers commiting suicide because gay marriage is being legalized? Now, that’s a trend I can heartily applaud!

  214. bbkf said,

    May 21, 2013 at 20:58

    The fact is, we need heroes like this in the USA.

    whoa…gary’s condoning eliminationism? i thought only liebruls subscribed to such things…what with the right’s obsession with the sanctity of life and all…

  215. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2013 at 21:01

    what with the right’s obsession with the sanctity of life and all,

    Unless you’re brown and live in another country. Then you deserve to have a factory fall on your head so we don’t have to pay more than $3 for a t-shirt.

  216. VCarlson said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:00

    I would be interested in hearing more about slimming kittehs in mult-kitteh households. Got one butterball, one stick insect. Not sure how to bring the butterball down a few pounds without causing harm to the stick.

    I, too, have a butterball (though she’s less of one now) and a stick (former butterball, now kidney cat with special get-rid-of-the-calcium-in-her-kidneys diet – that works!). I don’t keep food down, but put food down for them and keep them from poaching each other’s food. Because that other food must be so much better, of course. Due to involuntary retirement (downsized, too old to hire, too young to retire), I’m home a lot, so they get fed small meals often. Basically, any time either one gives me the “I’m hungry” signal, I feed ‘em. I have Nani’s (the now slimmer butterball) food in a premeasured cup for the day, so she gets the same amount whether it’s in 2-3 feedings or more. Marlowe, the stick, I don’t premeasure.

    Back when Marlowe was a butterball, the vet recommended I not leave food constantly available, as the tendency among some cats is to browse while bored. I started feeding the cats at defined times, and she lost weight (of course, it turns out she also had a UI that almost killed her, which is why she’s now a kidney cat).

  217. VCarlson said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:04

    what with the right’s obsession with the sanctity of life and all,

    Unless you’re brown and live in another country not of the RW tribe. Then you deserve to have a factory fall on your head so we don’t have to pay more than $3 for a t-shirt whatever horrible thing happens to you.

    FIFY.

  218. tigris said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:08

    Having bass pedals on the organ isn’t cheating, that’s what they’re there for.

  219. smut clyde said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:09

    The fact is, we need heroes like this in the USA.
    Venner, a historian and former member of the Secret Army Organisation that opposed Algerian independence in the early 1960s and waged a terror campaign against Charles de Gaulle’s government,

    Ex-terrorist propagandist improves the functioning of his brain by putting a bullet through it? Quel fromage.

    Self-immolation seems to have become the suicide of choice for political protest. Couldn’t the dude organise a stake and do a Joan-of-Arc stunt? If you *shoot* yourself, people just assume that you’ve been sponsored by the NRA.

  220. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:10

    Need we mention that GEDDY FUCKING LEE substitutes pedals for bass?

  221. Alixxrx66 @ Daily Kos said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:20

    I want to grudge F#ck S.E. Cupp

    Ok, there I said it. I’m a total pig but I just had to put that out there. Everything she says is b.s. and I can’t stand the tone of her condescending voice but………………………………………….eliminationism.

  222. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:33

    I’m no purity bass troll. Pedals, Chapman sticks, 7 string electric bass guitars, w’evs. Bring it on, make some noise.

  223. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:33

    Bass players are absolutely necessary. Gotta have one loser to hate in the band.

    I thought that was the drummer’s role.

  224. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:45

    You can’t hate the drummer too much or he’ll leave and you’ll suck.

  225. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:47

    I thought that was the drummer’s role.

    With very rare exceptions that has been my experience.

  226. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:51

    What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

    Homeless.

  227. Major Kong said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:51

    What’s the difference between a drummer and a pizza?

    A pizza can at least feed a family.

  228. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:55

    “John, you’re the heart of the band
    Paul, you’re the soul of the band
    George, you’re the spirit of the band
    Ringo, you’re the drummer.”

  229. El Manquecito said,

    May 21, 2013 at 22:56

    You know those all started as viola jokes 100 years ago.

  230. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 23:16

    “And Jimmy McGriff cheated. He had bass pedals on his organ.”

    Wow, it’s lucky I’m here to clear this up. The bass is mostly played by the left hand, with some assistance from the pedals. A pedal is often “tapped” to provide an attack sound for the bass line played in the left hand. (Which can give the appearance that the bass is being played on the pedals.) Without going into interminable detail, which, I give you fair warning, I am entirely capable of, one can say that except for a few exceptional players, like Barbara Dennerlein all the classic jazz organists played bass with the left hand, with an assist from the pedals.

  231. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 21, 2013 at 23:37

    except for a few exceptional players, like Barbara Dennerlein all the classic jazz organists played bass with the left hand, with an assist from the pedals.

    Once again proving the genius of Geddy Lee.

  232. Whale Chowder said,

    May 21, 2013 at 23:39

    Having bass pedals on the organ isn’t cheating, that’s what they’re there for.

    and

    Without going into interminable detail, which, I give you fair warning, I am entirely capable of, one can say that except for a few exceptional players, like Barbara Dennerlein all the classic jazz organists played bass with the left hand, with an assist from the pedals.

    I surrender!

    I think Jimmy McGriff was awesome. I don’t no nuthin’ bout jazz organ, I was actually pretty impressed that they’d be able to play bass on the pedals (which is what I remember the church organist (who in the church I went to as a child was horrible, probably accounts for much of my atheism now) doing to get bass from her instrument) — especially with the soul and style that McGriff could achieve. I called it “cheating” because I thought he got an extra limb to work with.

    I’m actually with El M: use whatever tool gets the job done, just make sure there’s a bass line in the tune. If that tool is a bassist, all the better.

  233. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 23:42

    “DA, why did you change your name to Get Chutney Love?”

    Dennis, just be a man, and say: “”Get Chutney Love”? I wish I had thought of that!”

    Oh, and BTW, Dennis, who is it you are trying to convince DA is a bad person? You? Me? The Moderator? God?

    Remember, Dennis, (although I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t, you’re not that memorable) there is a thin, yet impregnable (like your..oh, never mind) line between not being a good person, and being a bad person. Mark ye well that demarcation, Dennis!

  234. Mooser said,

    May 21, 2013 at 23:55

    I give you fair warning,”

    You wouldn’t listen, would you? The pedal (it can be any pedal which makes the right sound) can be used to add “pluck” to a bassline, the pedal strike anticipates the bassline note by a tiny increment, but is not held long enough to form a note at that low frequency. If the right hand is engaged, pedals can take over the bassline during a turnaround (III-VI-II-V ) while the left hand slides up to play chords.
    If the pedals are used to play bass exclusively, usually some other more satisfactory bass sound then the Hammond pedal sound is MIDI’d to the pedals. And then pedal sustain makes it much easier to play a smooth bassline with one foot, the other waggling the volume pedal.

  235. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:00

    It’s so sad that there is so much misinformation and prejudice concerning this subject. I try to be open and honest about it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

  236. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:03

    If the pedals are used to play bass exclusively, usually some other more satisfactory bass sound then the Hammond pedal sound is MIDI’d to the pedals

    Jimmy McGriff used MIDI? Wow, he was really ahead of his time.

  237. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:21

    Dennis, please do us all a favor and get over yourself.

  238. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:23

    Mooser, I feel that way about Penguin Love, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, is there?

  239. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:31

    Chutney, I agree, about Penguins, I am sanguine.

  240. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:33

    “Jimmy McGriff used MIDI?”

    No, he used his left hand on his organ, like most people do.

  241. Smut Clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:36

    Penguin love is NOT “immoral and wicked.” And anybody who thinks so is just an old prude … It’s beautiful! And natural! And I for one fully support penguin love.

  242. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:39

    Barbara Dennerlein is the reigning queen of the slats. She has two left feet which are oh, so neat, and a MIDI equipped pedalboard.

    And there’s always Cherry Wainer

  243. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 0:41

    Oh, and Dennis, thanks for your advice, but as you can see, I already did so some 4 days ago.

    Get Chutney Love said,

    May 17, 2013 at 18:18

    I hate to sound like some sort of movie tagline, but sometimes being brave isn’t an option anymore. Good luck on your summer job and beyond.

    GCL aka DA

  244. Smut Clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:02

    The fact is, we need heroes like this in the USA.

    Part of the hilarity of this French fucker augmenting the internal decor of Notre Dame with the contents of his head, is that before the final straw of gay marriage, he was exercised about there being too many French people with North African origins.
    And back in the late 50s he was part of the terrorist OAS group with its killings and assassination attempts somehow intended to keep Algeria integrated with France. In other words, to ensure that there were more French people with North African origins.

    I cannot fault him for deciding that “cathedral re-decoration” was the best use of his brain.

  245. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:15

    The country’s first gay marriage is scheduled to take place in Montpellier, in the south, on 29 May between Vincent Autin, 40, who works in the tourist office, and Bruno Boileau, 30, a public sector employee.

    I would pay folding money to move the wedding to the altar at Notre Dame.

  246. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:17

    Oh POOP! Teh Ho just walked in the door. Forgot that we are going to Brit Pink Floyd tonight and must be there in 45 minutes so he can conduct the meet and greet thing. Don’t know whether to be excited about this show or if I dread it.

  247. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:29

    we are going to Brit Pink Floyd

    Be sure to enjoy the bass.

  248. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:31

    “The country’s first gay marriage is scheduled to take place in Montpellier, in the south,”

    Will there be organ music?

  249. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:37

    Organs will be played, I am certain.

  250. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 1:38

    Part of the hilarity of this French fucker augmenting the internal decor of Notre Dame with the contents of his head, is that before the final straw of gay marriage, he was exercised about there being too many French people with North African origins.

    Notre Dame is the best place to commit suicide because suicides go to hell but there you have sanctuary.

  251. smut clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:02

    Notre Dame is the best place to commit suicide because suicides go to hell but there you have sanctuary.

    I will have you know, sir, that a special punishment is reserved for those who desecrate the hallowed precincts of Notre-Dame with the vile crime of felo-de-se. They forfeit their identities and become anonymous in death. For added ignominy, their bodies are hoisted up into the bell-tower to be used as human clappers.
    You don’t know the name but the face rings a bell.

  252. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:03

    This is pretty cool. The people who paid huge sums for their meet-n-greet tix (OPB sponsored the show ) and Teh Ho and , through spousal equivalence perks, I, will sit through three numbers while they do final sound check and shit. Lasers and all.

  253. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:04

    Fucking Huguenots!

  254. Henri IV said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:14

    I think Paris is worth a Mass, don’t you?

  255. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:17

    “For added ignominy, their bodies are hoisted up into the bell-tower to be used as human clappers.”

    That must be where the expression “he got the clap” came from! Thanks, I learn something new here all the time.

  256. Pere Ubu said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:37

    Mass = F/a

  257. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:52

    In the end it’s a garboyled message.

  258. DAS said,

    May 22, 2013 at 2:57

    Smut Clyde … I somehow don’t think the OAS intended for France to have more people of North African origins enter France per se. I think they were quite interested in keeping the colonial subjects in the colonies. They just wanted to keep the colonies, damn the consequences. Strange thing about rightists … for all their blather about taking responsibility for consequences, they don’t seem to think things through very well themselves.

  259. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:00

    i still don’t get the chutney love reference…all i know is it makes me hungry…

  260. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:01

    or think of courtney love which makes me think about taking a shower…

  261. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:03

    they don’t seem to think things through very well themselves.

    Will to Power’s just another way to never say you’re sorry.

  262. Chris said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:18

    And back in the late 50s he was part of the terrorist OAS group with its killings and assassination attempts somehow intended to keep Algeria integrated with France. In other words, to ensure that there were more French people with North African origins. native North Africans remained in their proper place under the control of white people.

    FTFY.

    Although Algeria was legally considered as much a part of France as Burgundy or Normandy, the representative system was peculiarly set up so that the overwhelming majority of Algerian Muslims could only designate 50% of the legislature, while non-Muslims (which generally meant white colonists whose families had moved there from France, and who along with senior French military officers provided the lion’s share of OAS members) elected the other half, even though there were only one sixth as many of them. You can guess which half had control of the administrative apparatus and other powers-that-be.

  263. Chris said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:25

    They just wanted to keep the colonies, damn the consequences.

    However, the fact that Algeria wasn’t legally a colony but a part of France made the issue far more controversial than, say, Indochina. As absurd as it looks on the face of it, it’s what had been hammered into French people at school for a century, and certainly the white people living in Algeria saw it that way.

  264. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:32

    As absurd as it looks on the face of it, it’s what had been hammered into French people at school for a century, and certainly the white people living in Algeria saw it that way.

    hmmmmm…that sounds vaguely familiar…

  265. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:32

    Yeah, Angola and Mozambique were “overseas provinces” of Portugal, too. Makes it hard to give them up. Hopefully Denmark never has the same problem with Greenland….

  266. Smut Clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 3:57

    the fact that Algeria wasn’t legally a colony but a part of France
    Which brings us back to racist cross-burner Charles Murray’s complaint from his visit to France, about the number of non-French people he encountered there. By which he meant “dark-skinned people”. A lot of French people have non-European ancestry because French governments decided to make them French.

    Hopefully Denmark never has the same problem with Greenland….
    Ha! Not legally part of Denmark any more. IIRC it’s an autonomous country which chooses to outsource some of its governmental functions to Denmark.

  267. Pere Ubu said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:01

    i still don’t get the chutney love reference…

    Part of the riddle.

  268. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:02

    I guess it amounts to what is the domain of “French.” For certain values either Chris or SC would be more correct.

  269. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:03

    Ha! Not legally part of Denmark any more. IIRC it’s an autonomous country which chooses to outsource some of its governmental functions to Denmark.

    You mean a bunch of shit I learned 50 years ago isn’t true any more? I want my money back! And get offa ma lawn!

  270. Pere Ubu said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:03

    Note that crap like remembering obscure police shows from 1974 probably takes up vital parts of my brain for remembering to pay bills and take meds and such like that.

    But there you are.

  271. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:06

    Thanks, Pere. I didn’t understand it either. That was about the time I stopped watching TV. I don’t understand the vast majority of pop culture references.

  272. Major Kong said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:07

    Note that crap like remembering obscure police shows from 1974 probably takes up vital parts of my brain for remembering to pay bills and take meds and such like that.

    I have encyclopedic knowledge of 1960s and 70s cartoons but don’t ask me to remember anything important.

  273. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:08

    Part of the riddle.

    eh…thanks for that…i’m pretty sure i’m going to have track that down and watch it…

  274. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:09

    Thanks, Pere. I didn’t understand it either.

    well, thank bog i’m not the only one…now aren’t we all glad that i finally asked?

  275. Pere Ubu said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:13

    i’m pretty sure i’m going to have track that down and watch it…

    Vy-lola.

  276. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:25

    EVERBODY AT THIS SHOW IS OLD. WTF??!?!?!

  277. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:26

    They’re mostly my age, or close to within a dozen years, or EVEN FUCKING OLDER THAN ME!

    I haz a sad. I feelz old.

  278. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:35

    EVERBODY AT THIS SHOW IS OLD. WTF??!?!?!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  279. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:37

    Vy-lola.

    omg! guilty pleasure time!!!

  280. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:44

    OMFGWTFBBQFUCKFUCKFUCK.

    Roaming charges for a Canuck in teh US are 10 times higher than for teh guy from mainland China. Thanks a fucking lot, neighbour. Imma gonna remember this next time you want your next hit of poutine. Grrrrr.

  281. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:48

    Roaming charges for us up there in the frozen northern wastelands are also usurious. But that’s only a small part of why we don’t want to go there.

  282. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:50

    I think it’s actually cheaper for the Communist Chinese to use their cellphones in the US than it is for Americans. WTF is that about?

  283. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:54

    They own us. That’s probably why.

  284. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:55

    I think it’s actually cheaper for the Communist Chinese to use their cellphones in the US than it is for Americans. WTF is that about?

    CAPITALISM, BAYBEEE!!! SUCK IT!!!

  285. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:55

    Or the red army hacked our corporate systems so thoroughly.

  286. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 4:57

    I think it’s about Canadians being wealthier than the poor peasant masses of the USA.

  287. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 5:01

    It’s a good thing “almost free roaming” dude was such a nice guy. We bonded over pictures of our kids. Then he started showing off by phoning someone in China at dirt cheap rates and I had to walk away before I did something offensive.

  288. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 5:33

    ha…i got this earworm from hubbkf…you are all welcome…

  289. Snorghagen said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:03

    I’m too lazy to check if anyone has mentioned this, but…

    Former NY Times executive editor Bill Keller wins the Ultra-Deluxe Prize for The Most Fucking Brilliant Idea of the Year. Almost as appealing as reintroducing smallpox.

  290. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:23

    The sound mixer should be shot. TOO FUCKING MUCH BASS!!!!

  291. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:24

    I’m all for bringing back Ken Starr. It worked out so well for them last time.

  292. Thread Bear said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:24

    The sound mixer should be shot. TOO FUCKING MUCH BASS!!!!

    He put the pedal to the metal?

  293. Thread Bear said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:28

    I don’t care if people think I’m funny, I’m a big rock star and I’m making lots of money!

    I only know three chords strings.

  294. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:29

    One day I’ll go cruising down the main drag in a minivan blasting out pure treble.

  295. Thread Bear said,

    May 22, 2013 at 6:35

    Oops, was supposed to contain a link:

    I don’t care if people think I’m funny, I’m a big rock star and I’m making lots of money!

    I only know three chords strings.

  296. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 7:57

    Treble what?

  297. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 7:59

    Pretty good show. Never got to a Floyd show and this would only be a poor facsimile but it was kinda fun to be with a bunch of gray hairs all mouthing the lyrics and doing air guitar and shit.

  298. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 8:02

    Treble in Vancouver City
    And that starts with T
    Which rhymes with G
    Which stands for McGravitas.

  299. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 8:07

    That’s because the music is still fucking awesome.

  300. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 8:28

    That’s because the music is still fucking awesome.

    Could only be improved by moar cowbell.

  301. paperbagmarlys said,

    May 22, 2013 at 9:26

    . . . so disappointed this wasn’t a gender swap or transformation erotica about conservative eagle scouts turning into girls . . .

    Speaking as an Eagle scout, I don’t want to think about Eagle scout fan fic/erotica/Reddit subgenre/porn. At. All. Not disappointed at all.

  302. Lois Lerner said,

    May 22, 2013 at 14:03

    I’m taking the Fifth.

  303. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 14:47

    Put it back when you’re finished, the Republicans will be needing to use it in the near future.

  304. Pere Ubu said,

    May 22, 2013 at 15:20

    I still remember the Nineties version of “BREAKING IMPEACH NOOZ” when Ken Starr was going to testify before the House impeachment mob. Limbaugh was going on about how he obviously would have a GREAT SECRET to reveal which would be the MAGIC BULLET which would take down Clinton in a storm of indignation and scandal.

    Of course, the end result was *crickets*. Much like Hicks’ testimony before the House on Benghazigate.

    Maybe they SHOULD bring back Starr. Those who forget ignore history…

  305. Lois Lerner said,

    May 22, 2013 at 15:38

    You understand why I’m doing this, right?

    For the team?

    If you don’t now, you will later.

    Please don’t judge me now.

  306. Austin Loomis said,

    May 22, 2013 at 15:38

    Those who forget ignore history…

    …are doomed to get low SAT scores. 8-)

    And Gary, the fact is, I think you meant an heroes.

  307. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 15:54

    Man, even when I’m thousands of miles from home, I’m still all about LEAFS SUCK. The right to remain silent? I’m reminded that Rob Ford still hasn’t denied the crack video. Starr returning to do a witch-hunt style investigation? That’s exactly what Rob Ford says about the Star newspaper. Canadians being wealthier than the poor masses? Hey, the Rob Ford Crackstarter has crested $100K.

    Finally had some of your weird west coast Pho. I think it was a couple years ago when someone here told me that you get jalapenos in it instead of Thai bird chilies. Man, that was weird. Not bad – adds an interesting “green” flavour that goes very well with the lime and cilantro… Uh I mean CILANTRO SUCKS! OMG THAT STUFF TASTES HORRIBLE!!!

  308. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 16:14

    has jane valasquez mitchell lost touch with reality? in fact, has all of HLN lost their damn minds? i know zip about the jodi arias saga, but jvm claiming (at voice levels the major could probably hear in-flight through his headphones) jodi arias has ‘created a reality show’ featuring herself is mind-boggling…i may have to watch the upcoming george zimmerman trial just to get a daily dose of surreal indignation…

  309. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 16:15

    Uh I mean CILANTRO SUCKS! OMG THAT STUFF TASTES HORRIBLE!!!

    i like cilantro…it do not like me…

  310. bbkf said,

    May 22, 2013 at 16:23

    And Gary, the fact is, I think you meant an heroes.

    and that’s just sad…i might go back to bed…so far all this morning has done is to remind me how hideous human beings can be…

  311. Lois Lerner said,

    May 22, 2013 at 16:44

    I’m sorry you got banned at No More Mr. Nice Blog, Dennis. Have you gotten over your asshurt about it yet?

  312. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 22, 2013 at 16:48

    Imma gonna remember this next time you want your next hit of poutine. Grrrrr.

    If you were really mad and wanted to punish us, you’d give us two hits.

  313. Shakezula said,

    May 22, 2013 at 17:11

    So my choices are Ken Starr or small pox?

    Hmmm.

    Well…

    Can I get back to you on that one?

  314. tigris said,

    May 22, 2013 at 17:23

    There’s no vaccine to protect against Ken Starr.

  315. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 17:42

    The sound mixer should be shot. TOO FUCKING MUCH BASS!!!!

    LOL, like that was even possible.

  316. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 17:57

    Also, I got yer big gay gene right here bub.

  317. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 18:03

    fROM THE COMMENTS: “Beautiful playing but I was disappointed to see that you have it tuned…”

    Oy, these kids nowadays.

    And you know how, when the bass is really loud, you get this feeling in your chest from the vibrations? You can do what you want, Abe, but pericardium damage is nothing to fool around with.

  318. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 18:16

    I was talking to a specialist in Indonesian music, one fine day. She told me about some large gongs which are so low in frequency and so loud that they can actually be deleterious to the health of the player. Such “killer gongs”, when discovered, are retired to museums and are never used in performance again.

  319. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 18:23

    Infrasound has been used as a psychological and biological weapon fer chrissake. Which helps to explain the behavior of bass players – they’ve scrambled their brains.

  320. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:00

    Also, I got yer big gay gene right here bub.

    So is that what you call it? “Gene?”

    Which helps to explain the behavior of bass players – they’ve scrambled their brains.

    You may be confusing cause and effect.

  321. bughunter said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:06

    PENISWOLF*.

    Best laugh of the day.

    ________
    * Not to be confused with dickwolf.

  322. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:12

    Pat Robertson is in conniptions.

  323. John Revolta said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:13

    The bass guitar was invented so that the drummer and the guitar player could qualify for the carpool lane. Everybody knows this.

  324. bughunter said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:19

    BOOBIES*.

    Best news of the day.

    _________
    * Slightly NSFW photo.

  325. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:55

    POOP!

  326. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 19:56

    “Such “killer gongs”, when discovered, are retired to museums and are never used in performance again.”

    Naturally. And who, of course, hasn’t heard of ‘killer B3s”?

  327. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:17

    “Such “killer gongs”, when discovered, are retired to museums and are never used in performance again.”

    There was a scary and creepy movie about this. It was called The Ding.

  328. Chris said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:20

    You mean a bunch of shit I learned 50 years ago isn’t true any more? I want my money back! And get offa ma lawn!

    Oh, man. Wait till you hear about Pluto!

  329. John Revolta said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:43

    Wait till you hear about Pluto!

    Him and Minnie? It’s disgusting…………………………..

  330. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:44

    And in the public domain no less!

  331. Major Kong said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:51

    Him and Minnie? It’s disgusting

    Mickey Mouse was upset when he found out that Minnie wasn’t crazy she was just fucking goofy.

    (very old joke)

  332. Lois Lerner said,

    May 22, 2013 at 20:57

    I’m very proud of the work I’ve done in government.

    I know you guys are, too.

    Together we’ll go far.

    Thank you all.

  333. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 21:01

    “(very old joke)”

    Perhaps, but new to me. I will take it to my bosom. Or at least tell it to my bosom’s mate.

  334. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 21:17

    Pennis cleanup on aisle 4!

  335. smut clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 21:53

    She told me about some large gongs which are so low in frequency and so loud that they can actually be deleterious to the health of the player. Such “killer gongs”, when discovered, are retired to museums and are never used in performance again.

    I sez Shenanigans. “So loud”? You are not going to get any more energy out of the gong than you put into it by whacking it with something.

  336. Whale Chowder said,

    May 22, 2013 at 21:56

    You are not going to get any more energy out of the gong than you put into it by whacking it with something.

    Clearly has never heard of the Nuclear Mallet.

  337. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:18

    You are not going to get any more energy out of the gong than you put into it by whacking it with something.

    I guess I can’t interest you in a perpetual drum machine then.

  338. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:20

    “You are not going to get any more energy out of the gong than you put into it by whacking it with something.”

    It’s not all about volume. Although a considerable amount of acoustic energy is, indeed, present (and the “indeed” proves it conclusively) the damage is done by a malevolent combination of of basic frequencies and harmonics. Forming fractal intervals of related tritones which, when auscultated, induces a general sclerosis. Soon after that, you is one gone goose,

  339. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:23

    Wait. Wouldn’t low frequency infrasound have extremely long wavelengths? Wouldn’t it be more hazardous to the audience than the musician?

  340. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:28

    If you’re lucky, it’ll just give you a bad case of ligyrophobia.
    Of course, I once knew a traveling salesman who had a case of samples. Which really is a load.

  341. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:31

    lets see… How much kinetic energy is in the mallet? Assume for present puposes a largeish mallet swung with enough v that mv^2 becomes interestingly significant. Further assume that the gong is shaped such that the sonic energy is not created evenly over the entire surface but that the gong vibrates anisotropically. Finally, posit that both the fundamentals and harmonics are not only sonically focused but that they are in-phase and thus are additive. I could imagine that a fair portion of the KE could come back out. Note that the subsonics are penetrative and imagine what that sonic energy might do to some of our more dainty internal organs.

    But really, sounds pretty far fetched.

  342. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:33

    Or, in SC’s technical lingo, shenanigans. In another technical dialect it’s bullshit.

  343. Thread Bear said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:35

    As I remember, a lot of acts died on stage on the old Gong Show.

  344. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:35

    “Wait. Wouldn’t low frequency infrasound have extremely long wavelengths? Wouldn’t it be more hazardous to the audience than the musician?”

    A question which this little device makes finding the answer to more pressing than ever!

  345. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:36

    There is a wind turbine syndrome, which may be linked to exposure to infrasound.

    http://www.library.ucla.edu/pdf/Chen.Paper.pdf

  346. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:38

    “As I remember, a lot of acts died on stage on the old Gong Show.”

    Yes, but they had that one Gamelan Orchestra which was just killer

  347. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:41

    “There is a wind turbine syndrome…”

    Yes, there is, but when all the facts are in, it may not be all that economically or even ecologically attractive a way of producing electricity. A lot of my “greener” friends have a touch of it.,

  348. smut clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:41

    But for low frequencies the gong / air-column coupling is so poor that the gong reverberates for a long time. That is, the KE from the mallet leaks out sloooowwly, this being the purpose of gongs.

    Note that the subsonics are penetrative and imagine what that sonic energy might do to some of our more dainty internal organs

    Mythbusters tried that in the “brown note” episode. If you crank up the volume to 11 the lungs start resonating, but that required 130 dB or something.

  349. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:50

    “If you crank up the volume to 11 the lungs start resonating, but that required 130 dB or something.”

    That’s where the bass guitar comes in. Nobody ever got TB or pulmonary edama from organ-bass. Not one case on record.

  350. smut clyde said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:52

    Now I am hungry. Time for Camembert Electrique and Angels’ Eggs for Breakfast!

  351. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:52

    As matter of fact, I knew a bass-player who was possessed by edema. He was overweight, and didn’t exorcise enough.

  352. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 22:56

    “Now I am hungry.”

    Friend Smut, nothing sticks to the ribs like home cookin’

  353. Ed Ema said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:05

    I never possessed no-one.

  354. CRA said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:18

    I just bought a 1959 Gibson ES-330T — in transit!!

    It differs from the linked demo in that it’s a single-pickup (T) model, sunburst, with trapeze tailpiece (no Bigsby). I used the above link because Greg Koch does the most awesome guitar demos I have seen — click a few more.

  355. bughunter said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:35

    Now I am hungry.

    Perhaps you should try something from the Jean Paul Sartre Cookbook.

    I suggest the Black Forest Cake.

  356. Mooser said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:45

    “I never possessed no-one.”

    I, too, ain’t got nobody, and nobody cares for me. What’s more I ain’t doin’ nothin for nobody, no time.

  357. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:50

    SOYLENT GREEN BEIGE ISREAL!

  358. Pupienus said,

    May 22, 2013 at 23:51

    “I never possessed no-one.”

    So it WASN’T you the popeyguy kicked out of some Messcan?

  359. Smut Clyde said,

    May 23, 2013 at 0:07

    SOYLENT GREEN BEIGE ISREAL!
    AHEM.

  360. gocart mozart said,

    May 23, 2013 at 0:15

    “As the gay agenda rolls forth unchecked in fulfillment of its published goals and tactics.”

    Now available on Amazon.com. Those who purchased that selection also purchased “Gay Agenda 21: the secret plot by the U.N. to . . .______”*

    SadlyContest: Fill in the blank

  361. gocart mozart said,

    May 23, 2013 at 0:20

    It seems there are several gay agendas (agendi?)

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Gay-Agenda-2013-All/dp/148234548X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1369261110&sr=8-4&keywords=gay+agenda

  362. bughunter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 0:23

    Gay Agenda 21: the secret plot by the U.N. to . . .

    …make everything fabulous!

  363. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 0:47

    Now available on Amazon.com. Those who purchased that selection also purchased “Gay Agenda 21: the secret plot by the U.N. to . . .______”*

    Plead the Fifth.

  364. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 23, 2013 at 1:16

    SOYLENT GREEN BEIGE ISREAL!
    AHEM.

    Cross-blog AHEMming is against the Blog Commenter Standards Of Conduct, paragrah 945, subsection Ö.

    Sheesh.

  365. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 23, 2013 at 1:42

    She told me about some large gongs which are so low in frequency and so loud that they can actually be deleterious to the health of the player. Such “killer gongs”, when discovered, are retired to museums and are never used in performance again.

    I believe Kate Bush had something to say on this topic.

  366. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 1:42

    Ruh-roh Rastro. I gotta go back.

    F me.

  367. Pere Ubu said,

    May 23, 2013 at 2:13

    Gay Agenda 21: the secret plot by the U.N. to . . .

    FORCE STUFF DOWN OUR THROATS!

    *ahem*

    anyway, a Kate Bush reference? Yowza. 150 points to BBBBidor House.

  368. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 23, 2013 at 2:46

    anyway, a Kate Bush reference? Yowza. 150 points to BBBBidor House.

    Gotta love Kate Bush… IBIMB…

  369. Get Chutney Love said,

    May 23, 2013 at 3:20

    When George met Jean-Paul.

  370. CRA said,

    May 23, 2013 at 4:03

    Oh I get it, the troll is humping the IRS “scandal.” I wasn’t clear on that, because like a solid majority of Americans or their senators, I’m not working myself into an impeachment frenzy.

  371. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 4:05

    It’s fucking snowing in the passes. Down here in Portlandia it’s 46F and rain rain rain. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!

  372. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 4:54

    It’s worse than Watergate, you know.

  373. jurassicpork said,

    May 23, 2013 at 5:44

    Tomorrow a PA church will open up a sports camp designed to sweat the gay away and Pottersville mainstay Cyril Blubberpuss weighs in (heavily) with a story out of his family’s past. (And yes, I did send off the letter to the church.)

  374. wiley said,

    May 23, 2013 at 6:01

    Headlines from today’s CNN:

    face-eating victim’s starting over

    brutal, fatal cleaver assault in London called a terrorist attack

    Face-eating is so five minutes ago. Time for another two weeks of yellow wing-nut shit storms? The brutal, fatal cleaver assault is MUSLIMS! The gentle, mildly injurious cleaver assault was something else.

  375. jim, uninterrupted said,

    May 23, 2013 at 7:00

    377th!

    Also, blogwhoring my fail / accidental win.
    Looks like I’m damned to indefinite autodidactics with the lid off for the duration*.
    _______________________________________________________________________

    * Blatantly pickled, & really … perhaps someone should call a cab or something … say what?!?
    Going SHOPPING?.
    Jesus, pity the NORPs.

  376. jim, uninterrupted said,

    May 23, 2013 at 7:04

    Noone could have predicted that the terrorists would fly cleavers into skyscrapers.

    Yeah, somebody REALLY needs to go get noms. Now.

  377. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 23, 2013 at 7:26

    …but mostly because their bread isn’t for shit.

    Then again,…the only purpose of the bread is keep your fingers dry.
    Fuckin’ wasted calories.

  378. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 23, 2013 at 8:04

    I only know three chords strings.
    Close.
    (bonus bass player)

  379. Major Kong said,

    May 23, 2013 at 13:15

    the only purpose of the bread is keep your fingers dry

    Stop eating Wonder Bread and try the real stuff sometime.

  380. El Manquécito said,

    May 23, 2013 at 13:18

    Gotta love Kate Bush

    Do not.

  381. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 23, 2013 at 14:09

    Stop eating Wonder Bread and try the real stuff sometime.
    Not even close.
    Hell, I’ve made breads that most would kill for, yet my belief does not change.
    Barring a need to keep the animal juice offa my hands, fuck the carbs.

  382. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 14:27

    keep the animal juice offa my hands

    Is that a euphemism for Dennis?

  383. Monica Gooding said,

    May 23, 2013 at 14:41

    I took the Fifth, Dennis, why do you write about that tramp Lois instead of me?

  384. Smut Clyde said,

    May 23, 2013 at 14:41

    Hell, I’ve made breads that most would kill for, yet my belief does not change.

    I have made breads that most could kill with. My recipe *has* changed.

  385. Thread Bear said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:05

    I have made breads that most could kill with.

    Oooh, dwarf bread!

  386. Jeffraham Prestonian via Nexus 7 said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:34

    Those who do not love Kate Bush are doomed to repeat her.
    .

  387. Pere Ubu said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:43

    Gotta love Kate Bush

    Do not.

    INFIDEL!

  388. The 'entertainment professional' formerly known as The Dark Avenger said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:46

    I freaked out when Monica Goodling pleaded the Fifth, and now I’m timid as a church mouse when Lois Lerner does it.

    But Mooser says that doesn’t make me a bad person, per se.

    It’s tough being me. Ya know? So I just change identities. Heh.

  389. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:49

    Don’t listen to that Liberty University hussy, Dennis, you know we belong together!

  390. Mall Lawyer said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:51

    Dennis, I hearby serve an injunction to cease and desist from making an ass of yourself on this thread.

  391. kg said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:51

    hooboy, a kate bush flame war?!!?!

    I’m squarely with B^4 on this one.
    Here’s Under Ice for your summertime listening pleasure…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCOiidUO1P8

  392. Rebecca Schlacter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:52

    He won’t even peg me for Mothers’ Day, Mall Lawyer.

  393. Kate Bush said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:53

    You don’t like me, do you, Dennis?

  394. The MOTU formerly known as Dennis said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:55

    C’mon, guys, can’t you see the Democrat hypocrisy in allowing Lois Lerner to take the 5th?

  395. Monica Gooding said,

    May 23, 2013 at 15:57

    I swear, Dennis, I’ll tell Lois everything about you if you keep writing about that little round-heels.

  396. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:00

    Yeah!…nevermind that she’s a Bush appointee.

  397. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:03

    …and what’s with “allowing”?
    It’s one’a them constiTOOshunul ‘mendments.
    …just like that Holy Second one.

  398. The 'entertainment professional' formerly known as The Dark Avenger said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:14

    Trying to think of my next identity for when Substance shows up here again telling me to Fuck off.

  399. Substance said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:20

    I never told anyone to fuck off.

  400. kg said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:20

    Yeah!…nevermind that she’s a Bush appointee.

    I’m telling you, Kate Bush can do no wrong.

  401. Rebecca Asshole Schlacter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:21

    Leave Dennis alone. Do you know how many aluminum cans he has to collect to make his production today?

  402. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:24

    Attention: Dennis is a troll and you are being trolled. When you respond, you prove you are his little ball of yarn to bat around. You are the troll’s Holy Grail: someone who always responds.

    So it’s love. Go get a fucking room.

  403. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:24

    And Kate Bush is okay by me.

  404. Rebecca Asshurt Schlacter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:27

    Dennis, did you sneak into my bedroom again last night?

  405. Pere Ubu said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:27

    a Bush appointee.

    See, not just a great singer. She appoints federal employees now!

  406. Pupienus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:27


    …and what’s with “allowing”?
    It’s one’a them constiTOOshunul ‘mendments.

    You poor naif. You don’t know that dems have to get permission from …. well someone, Pelosi or Reid or Obummer or Soros or whoever it is before they do or say ANYTHING.

  407. Daughter Schlacter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:27

    Daddyyyyyyyyyyy, you’re embarrassing me!

  408. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:28

    Have a good life, Dennis.

  409. Lois Lerner said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:29

    I was appointed during the Bush Administration, Packer. Not by Bush. I’m one of you guys, not one of them. (But I did nothing wrong- hee hee).

  410. The 'entertainment professional' formerly known as The Dark Avenger said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:37

    So it’s love. Go get a fucking room.

    It’s love, it’s love, it’s………Chutney Love!!

  411. Dennis Gene Butthurt Schlacter said,

    May 23, 2013 at 16:57

    C’mon, guys, Rebecca muttered something like yes before I started in on her last night.

  412. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 17:07

    Just wanted to say that “wind turbine syndrome” is total BS. Wind turbine infrasound does not cause these health effects and it’s all a complete pile of nonsense cooked up by NIMBYs. It’s not just me saying that. This is what the official viewpoint is here in Ontario. The link I followed from Wikipedia is amusing. Apparently the only real predictor of wind turbine syndrome is whether or not they area was targeted by organized wind turbine opponents. Meaning the primary cause of wind turbine syndrome is protestors.

    The real nail in the coffin is the dearth of epidemiological evidence. Wind energy penetration in various jurisdiction ms have gotten pretty high. Germany has something like 30 GW of wind installed. If wind turbine syndrome were a real thing, then there should be plenty of evidence for it by now.

  413. El Manquécito said,

    May 23, 2013 at 17:26

    If Kate Bush called me with a gig I’d be OK with that. Doesn’t mean I have to love her. (easy songs, mostly vamps, enthusiastic fans, sure I’d take that)

  414. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 17:27

    We LEAFS SUCKians actually have one of these industrial sized wind turbines installed right in the city for ten years now. That site, Exhibition Place, is the site of the CNE – a two week long fair that sees around 5 million visitors annually. And the actual report of adverse health effects from that fair are actually way way lower than expected when you factor in the kind of food you eat at fairs.

  415. Thread Bear said,

    May 23, 2013 at 17:45

    Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
    May 23, 2013 at 17:27

    Obviously the best protection against “wind turbine syndrome” is wearing a tuque.

  416. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 17:53

    I’m not saying there are no health effects. Just that they aren’t caused by infrasound. The symptoms are the same as those from increased stress. So, it totally makes sense that organized campaigns against wind farms is the primary predictor of wind turbine syndrome.

  417. Pere Ubu said,

    May 23, 2013 at 18:01

    MSN keeps pulling this shit, which is why I hate them.

  418. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 18:41

    And no, we’re not passing judgment. Many of these people also create jobs and give a lot of time and money to charity. In fact, finding time for wild fun while accomplishing so much might be considered admirable, or at least better than sitting on a pile of coins like Scrooge McDuck.

    bite me…

  419. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 23, 2013 at 18:46

    MSN keeps pulling this shit, which is why I hate them.

    Why don’t they feature an article about billionaires having fun by starting betting pools on when their suppliers in Asia have factory collapses, and on the resultant casualty figures? You know that shit happens.

  420. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 23, 2013 at 18:58

    So it’s love. Go get a fucking room.

    The weird thing is that they see themselves as two duelists, engaged in a flurry of thrusts and ripostes, a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness, but everybody else sees them as two weirdos jerking off in a warehouse.

  421. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 23, 2013 at 18:59

    And no, we’re not passing judgment. Many of these people also create jobs and give a lot of time and money to charity. In fact, finding time for wild fun while accomplishing so much might be considered admirable, or at least better than sitting on a pile of coins like Scrooge McDuck.

    Meanwhile, some poor schmuck buying a birthday cake for their kid with an EBT card is an abuse of the system.

  422. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 19:18

    Mmm, food at the fair.

  423. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 19:55

    I love Michael Brown’s picture.

    So, the America that increasingly deems homosexual relationships to be morally acceptable is the same America that increasingly deems having children out of wedlock (once called “illegitimacy”) to be morally acceptable. And this is supposed to be a sign of progress?

  424. Whale Chowder said,

    May 23, 2013 at 19:59

    We LEAFS SUCKians actually have one of these industrial sized wind turbines installed right in the city for ten years now.

    Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland also has one of those and…

    Okay, bad example. But still, the kids at the school aren’t getting sick.

  425. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:08

    The Olympics got us a wind turbine up by Grouse Mountain. I believe the kozmik wind radiation only affects snowboarders.

  426. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:22

    In LEAFS SUCK news, apparently the thing conservative leaders do when there’s any serious controversy is fire their Chiefs of Staff.

  427. gocart mozart said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:32

    This is not me.
    http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=gocart+mozart&qpvt=gocart+mozart&FORM=IGRE

  428. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:39

    I love Michael Brown’s picture.

    Interestingly, while the word “sex” was used with reference to “Sex between an unmarried man and woman” and “sex between teenagers,” and while the word “affair” was used with reference to “Married men and woman having an affair,” no such explicit or derogatory term was used with regard to homosexual practice. Rather, that was referred to as “Gay or lesbian relations.” Would the response have been different if the pollsters had asked about “two men or two women having sex” – unless, of course, “gay and lesbian relations” are all merely platonic? (Please forgive my sarcasm.)

    yes, dumbass, because ‘relations’ is meaning ‘sex’ in this sentence…asking respondents if two men or two women having sex is immoral isn’t a properly formed poll question…who or whom are they having sex with? are they married? to each other?

    you would think that someone with a phd in near eastern languages and literature would know that, but there you go…

    also, he does have the most normal looking picture over there, i’ll give him that…

  429. Major Kong said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:39

    Meanwhile, some poor schmuck buying a birthday cake for their kid with an EBT card is an abuse of the system.

    The cake is a lie.

  430. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:44

    In LEAFS SUCK news, apparently the thing conservative leaders do when there’s any serious controversy is fire their Chiefs of Staff.

    has anyone else noticed ford’s startling resemblance to rush limbaugh?

  431. bbkf said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:44

    Meanwhile, some poor schmuck buying a birthday cake for their kid with an EBT card is an abuse of the system.

    The cake is a lie.

    also, i’m sure the kid is illegitimate…

  432. Cerberus said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:52

    New post.

  433. Major Kong said,

    May 23, 2013 at 20:52

    Explanation for the non-geeks

    The cake is a lie

  434. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:05

    The cake is a lie.

  435. tigris said,

    May 23, 2013 at 21:45

    And this is supposed to be a sign of progress?

    Yes.

  436. Mooser said,

    May 24, 2013 at 21:25

    “Just wanted to say that “wind turbine syndrome” is total BASS”.

    Told you!

  437. Helen said,

    May 26, 2013 at 5:55

    So – I post here occasionally and one of my friends (besides BBFK – HI BBFK!!) is Fenway. I’ve been lurking lately and have not seen Fenway. Has anyone heard from him?

  438. Jared said,

    May 27, 2013 at 1:43

    Mormon Porn & Boy Scouts

    by Aaronita Smith

    Wayne Perry, Boy Scouts president, is pro-gay – and, believe it or not, MALE porn is officially part of his religion!
    Scholars, including Mormon ones, know of a hard-core porn sketch in the Mormon-approved “Book of Abraham.”
    This Book is part of the “Pearl of Great Price” which, along with the “Book of Mormon,” is LDS-authorized scripture.
    Figure 7 in Facsimile 2 in “Abraham” shows two beings facing each other. Joseph Smith described them as the “Holy Ghost” and “God” (the Father), the latter showing an erect male sex organ.
    Mormons were offended when Smith’s newspaper published this sketch in 1842, so the phallic part was whited out for more than a century until the “restored” LDS church restored the X-rated drawing in 1981!
    LDS scholars have hushed up the fact that the “Book of Abraham” is not about the biblical Abraham but actually portrays ancient Egyptian documents showing occult obscene sketches.
    Those scholars also know that Smith fraudulently altered them so that he could (blasphemously) portray the Christian trinity as sex fiends in order to promote polygamy among his followers!
    For more info see “Book of Abraham” (Wikipedia). And check out the Tanners’ “Mormonism – Shadow or Reality?” which reproduces the original Egyptian sketches Smith plagiarized and exploited. Also Yahoo or Google “Facts From Mormons (By a Utah Resident),” “God to Same-Sexers: Hurry Up,” “The Background Obama Can’t Cover Up,” and “USA – from Puritans to Impure-itans.”

    / The above goodie was recently caught on the ever present net. /

  439. Bill Fleenor said,

    June 26, 2013 at 7:52

    Oregon Sanctions.
    DawgNews
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    Nominate | ReportPosted: Today 9:29 PM

    Oregon Sanctions.

    ——————————————————————————–

    So we find out tomorrow. Nobody in the their right mind could begin to predict what will happen. I know many here think Uncle Phil will rescue the Ducks. I don’t buy that theory at all. The NCAA will act on all the information they have. They won’t let anyone off or hit anyone harder than the evidence shows…

    What we know:

    1. Oregon has admitted to 7 major violations
    2. The NCAA has accused them of more and Oregon fought those.
    3. Oregon has been deemed a repeat offender.
    4. Oregon has been deemed to have failed to monitor.
    5. Gary Campbell is in deep do-do
    6. Chip Kelly left.

    What does all this mean. None of us really knows. I don’t think you can find any school that has admitted to 7 major violations that didn’t get hit with bowl ban and scholarship losses.

    The notion that Oregon will get a hand slap really makes no sense. If the penalties were so minor then why would Oregon fight and ask for a summary judgement? Why would Oregon ask to go before the committee if they already had a minor slap on the wrist. It just make no sense to me.

    As soon as I heard the NCAA would announce tomorrow I called my best source – a guy that worked on the investigation early on before he went into private business. He told me he saw no way that Oregon would not get some sort of sanctions that included bowl ban and scholarships. He has not been on the is case for almost 8 months.

    I guess we all will have to wait until tomorrow – but if Oregon fans end up correct and its only a few scholarships then the NCAA should be tagged with the failure to monitor its members. A slap on the wrist should signal a free for all in college football with massive cheating getting the stamp of approval. I know I will tell Scott Woodward that our coaches should go out and cheat all they want.

    The sanctions should be:

    1. 1 or 2 year bowl ban
    2. Limit scholarships to 15 a years for 3 years
    3. Forfeit all games that Chip Kelly coached
    4. Gary Campbell can not recruit of campus for a year.
    5. Not eligible for Pac-12 Championship game for 1-2 years.
    6. Show the NCAA that they have corrected problems.

    I think Stewart Mandel has heard some rumors.

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