Things you don’t want to see when entering a tourist attraction

If you make it here, remember this disclaimer:

warning

For what it’s worth, didn’t have any sense there was a reason to be concerned.

 

Comments: 187

 
 
horace the fieldmouse
 

hey, Its the free market, if you don’t like it go back to Cuba

 
 

That link is standard Indians-R-Us boilerplate boosterism.

 
 

As long as they let you have a gun in the park, you’ll be OK.

 
 

No bus services? What?

 
 

If they gave a long list of things for which they accept no responsibility (in poorly written English) and then claimed to be the party of personal responsibility while complaining about immigrants not being able to communicate in English, they’d be Republicans.

 
 

Things you don’t want to see when entering a tourist attraction

“The scorpions are more scared of you than you are of them.”

“In the event of bear attack, avoid aggravating the bears with sudden movements or screaming.”

 
 

“The Shoggoth rarely sucks victims dry without provocation.”

 
 

“Do not molest the pythons.”

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

“Try not to be delicious.”

 
 

In the event of bear attack

I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.

 
 

I was wondering how many licks comments it takes to get to the chewy center of wingnuttery concerning the shooting in New Orleans yesterday; for MSN, anyway, TWO:

here come the completely irrational anti gun arguments any second……

talking about real issues: if this is another Muslim fundamentalist thing…. which is probable…. the second day story will be: what has the Obama administration done since the Boston Marathon about domestic terror strikes?

this has the potential to hijack Obama’s entire second term…

 
 

Typical comments from those who have not been on the other side of the issue. How’d you like to have people staring at you from some sort of motorised surrey with a dingy top.

 
 

How’d you like to have people staring at you from some sort of motorised surrey with a dingy top.

Is the dingy on top in case it goes into the lake?

 
 

This is called Tourist Season in my neck of the woods. We’re used to being oggled from any number of vehicles and vantage points.

 
 

talking about real issues: if this is another Muslim fundamentalist thing…. which is probable

Probable?!! Because when you hear about shootings they tend to be Muslims, right?

 
 

“Is the dingy on top in case it goes into the lake?”

You have aroused a long-dormant memory of my Dad. He was talking about, in a hushed voice (which indicated something not for childhood consumption) “dingy fever” (dinghy fever?) and his Navy service in WW2 in South Pacific. What was he talking about?

 
 

“Do not molest the pythons.”

Look what they did to the BBC.

 
 

Twoflower: Do you think there is anything to eat in this forest?

Rincewind: Yes, us!

 
 

Oh, I get it: “dengue fever” (“breakbone fever”) carried by mosquitoes. Screw Google, for the last 50 years I thought he was talking about the monastical aspects of shipboard life, nod-nod, wink-wink, speaking of python. What a disappointment.

 
 

I arrived Friday evening, Saturday morning I had cancer.

 
 

Oh, I get it: “dengue fever” (“breakbone fever”) carried by mosquitoes. Screw Google, for the last 50 years I thought he was talking about the monastical aspects of shipboard life, nod-nod, wink-wink, speaking of python. What a disappointment.

Please forgive me, but that is very sweet and yet very hilarious.

 
 

My noble spouse came back from the doctor Friday. She needs I-131 treatment for hyperthyroidism. It’s not as serious as cancer, but for a week after her treatment she’ll be a source of gamma radiation. Anyone know Dr. Bruce Banner’s cell phone #?

 
 

“Please forgive me, but that is very sweet and yet very hilarious.”

And would have gone on being so, if not for that damn Google. Coming between a boy and his Dad like that. I bet the person who wrote the dengue fever entry was ecstatic over my disillusionment.

 
El Manquécito
 

I’ve had dengue and don’t recommend it. It’s like putting your head in a microwave and hitting the ‘popcorn’ button. At least I didn’t get the muscle cramping and supposedly I now have some resistance to reinfection.

 
 

“It’s not as serious as cancer, but for a week after her treatment she’ll be a source of gamma radiation.”

We tried that line too, but the little nieces and nephews still tire Mom out when they visit. Won’t leave her alone.

 
 

Just sleep in another room to avoid catching the glow. Also annoying her. Raaarh.

I have heard that the patient will have enough rads to set off radiation sniffing machines, but when my husband had his treatment we eventually decided the risks outweighed the amusement to be gained from testing the sensitivity of the devices scattered around D.C.

 
 

Oh, I get it: “dengue fever” (“breakbone fever”) carried by mosquitoes.

My neighbor, who for some strange reason likes to vacation in swampy tropical places full of snakes and insects, contacted dengue fever. He says it was rather unpleasant and I’ll take him at his word.

 
 

Oh Dad, poor Dad…

 
 

Oh, I get it: “dengue fever” (“breakbone fever”) carried by mosquitoes

Interesting. I thought dengue was limited to Africa.

Don’t feel bad, it happens to all of us (well, me too, anyway). As a kid I worked in an appliance store / repair shop, and I was always confused when they talked about checking the “Orfus” on a stove, how the wrong Orfus could cause various problems, etc. etc.

Years and years later, I figured it out. “Orfus” is the hillbilly pronunciation of “Orifice” – the gas regulator hole size was different for natural gas and propane. I was crushed, cause Orfus just sounded cool.

 
 

Hmmmm, the FDL mothership seems to be having troubles today. I’ll have to go straight to the source to get my morning Atta J. Turk.

I hope the Borg haven’t banned TBogg for me. 🙁

 
 

Hmmmm, the FDL mothership seems to be having troubles today. I’ll have to go straight to the source to get my morning Atta J. Turk.

Probably a drone strike.

 
 

Little Orfus Annie.

 
 

Drone strike my left buttcheek. Lazy little assholes only inseminate the queen anyway.

 
 

If you make it here,

You can make it anywhere!

 
 

“Must Show Signed Waiver Before Entering.”

 
 

” I was crushed, cause Orfus just sounded cool.”

The movie about the gas-stove celebrations in Rio, “Black Orfus” was cool. Loved those Bonfa tunes.

 
 

I-131 treatment for hyperthyroidism

I used to do quality control testing for this product. They had very strict surveillence to make sure we weren’t being exposed. Glad I don’t work with radioactive materials any longer.

 
 

#insert clever reference to “Orfus In The Underworld”

 
 

When I swallowed the I-131 pill I spent the next three days in the guest bedroom snuggling with Vasco who had by that age developed quite a few lumps. Figured it wouldn’t hurt and maybe it would help. Teh Ho made a tee shirt for me to wear to the clinic – Homer Simpson as Radiation Man. My doctor laughed heartily.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,
May 13, 2013 at 17:46

I arrived Friday evening, Saturday morning I had cancer.

Sounds like a J. G. Ballard story

 
 

I have heard that the patient will have enough rads to set off radiation sniffing machines

They gave me a card certifying that I was not a terrorist radioactive due to medical treatment. Useful at the airport.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

I imagine the worst part would be that the ‘Bad Company’ song “Radioactive” would get stuck in your head like 24/7.

 
 

Interesting. The doctor just told him to stay out of public places due to things that might go bleeep and make people with guns mill about nervously. I thought this was also considerate for people who might not need to be near Mr. Glowworm for any number of reasons.

However, the therapy had just been approved for coverage when he had his thyroid out so perhaps things have changed? Or his doctor was weird.

 
 

DO NOT BE DISTRACTIVE.

 
 

It was by The Firm, and yes it did. Especially if you had the special fancy 45 and a record player.

/music nerd.

 
 

It was by The Firm, and yes it did. Especially if you are such a music nerd that you have the special fancy 45 and a record player.

 
 

FYWP is not a song, but it should be

 
 

FYWP is not a song, but it should be

No chance of being a big hit though. FYWP is just so much harder to gesticulate than YMCA.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Dangit. I have that album on CD too, so I should not have made that mistake.

 
 

I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours lately, yet I by no means discovered any interesting
article like yours. It is beautiful worth enough for me.
Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made
excellent content material as you did, the internet
can be a lot more useful than ever before.

 
 

My noble spouse came back from the doctor Friday. She needs I-131 treatment for hyperthyroidism. It’s not as serious as cancer, but for a week after her treatment she’ll be a source of gamma radiation. Anyone know Dr. Bruce Banner’s cell phone #?

ooh…tough luck on that one…i have hypothroidism which is highly annoying but so far not dangerous…due to a mix-up in communications and my own laziness/inability to give a fuck, i have not taken any meds for about 3 weeks…dr. said, ‘well, duh! of course you’re feeling depressed…CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED REFILLS!!!’ also, cholesterol is high, have to start meds…a1c is good…all other orfuses and appendages appear to be in good shape…the female physical is fricking exhausting and i got not so much as dinner or a drink…hmmmph!

 
 

FYWP is just so much harder to gesticulate than YMCA

i got yer gesticulation right here…

 
 

“Must Show Signed Waiver Before Entering.”

What’s all this I hear about showing Sigourney Weaver before entering? Oh, never mind.

 
 

i got yer gesticulation right here…

Damn, I’ve been looking all over for that. Thanks.

 
 

Damn, I’ve been looking all over for that. Thanks.

you can have your gesticulation when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers!

 
Packers the Easygoing Governor
 

The only thing that stops a good guy with your gesticulation is a bad guy with…
No. Wait.
I’ll come in again.

 
 

H.M. it just means you aren’t a music nerd.

Although your confusion does (I assume) stem from Rodgers doing lead vocals, so perhaps you are a mega-music nerd.

 
 

? A daaay in the life of a moose
Browsing on ferns or a spruce.
Knee deep in forest ponds,
Eating the tender fronds
That he depends upon
And can’t refuse…

 
 

you can have your gesticulation when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers!

I wouldn’t think you’d need more than one finger.

 
 

Drone strike my left buttcheek

“Well drone-strike mah butt-cheeks!” is my new expression of incredulity.

 
 

Shake, OT, but I have to say thanks for your advice from an earlier thread to call the cops on my suicidal friend. I finally did today after he called me from beside some railroad tracks and told me he was thinking of jumping in front of a train. He’s in the hospital now. God I hope they can help him. Thanks again.

 
 

I wouldn’t think you’d need more than one finger.

I would have given bbkf one finger, but I find myself degesticulated at the moment.

 
 

This makes me wonder how Mooser gesticulates.

 
 

I would have given bbkf one finger, but I find myself degesticulated at the moment.
De gesticubus non est disputandum

 
 

2-1

One period left for the Leafs to choke and fold like teh Leafs are wont to do.

 
 

Not what I just saw. Durnit.

 
 

OMFG. Boston just tied it.

 
 

Pup, that’s Radioactive Man

/Simpsons nerd.

 
 

So, liberals, still cheering for the IRS to shut down the Tea party? This will backfire on you. If are freedom is taken away we fight back.

 
I Want My Country Back
 

Yeah, Gary you said it. Liberals do not realize what they and their Black Presdient God are messing with, they will rape the worldwind.

 
 

OH. MY. GOD.

 
 

Bergeron just knocked in a rebound. Game and series, Boston.

 
 

Boston wins it – the fans from T-Bay will be depressed more than usual.

 
 

Did the Emperor give a thumbs down to the losing side?

 
 

Let me get this straight: the IRS, headed by a GW Bush appointee, decides to place extra scrutiny on anti-tax organizations naming themselves after criminal anti-tax demonstrations, and for this Obama is made to apologize?

 
 

DAS, that is an honor reserved for Hawaiian presidents.

 
 

What should we name this amazing device?

Pocket-o-Porn

 
 

Did the Emperor give a thumbs down to the losing side?

Not so much a thumb…

 
 

“What if I do this? Does that mean they have to fuck?”

 
 

Still can’t read TBogg. Is there a problem?

 
 

Bitter Scribe – Sorry you’re going through that, but you did the right thing and gave your friend a chance at least to get better.

At the risk of sounding like your mooooom, you might want to talk to someone about how you feel. This is really hard stuff to deal with, especially since it looks like you are being put the role of unofficial caretaker.

(And just sos you knows – It is perfectly normal if you have the urge to give your friend a smack round the ear.)

 
 

(Also too – thanks for the update. I was wondering what was up, but it wasn’t my business and how the hell do you broach that topic in a comments section?)

 
 

I guess I’m the only Bruins fan here. But I have to cheer for them. They have Anton Khudobin on the roster and he used to play for my hometown Florida Everblades. It’s always nice to see one of our boys do well.

 
 

Well, no riots. Pretty spectacular to come back from a 1-3 series deficit and then sitting 4-1 halfway through the third. That’s a pretty EPIC FAIL of a collapse right there.

 
 

Well, no riots.

I heard that the rage and frustration boiled over until someone actually didn’t say “thank you” when they got their coffee at Tim Horton’s this morning.

 
 

In case you were looking for crazy .

Teabaggers boycotting Fox News for being too leftist, 33 “Benghazi survivors” supposedly disappeared by the Keynan Usurper, proof the Boston bombing was linked to Benghazi, and more!

 
 

Oh, and evidently Obama killed Breitbart.

 
 

Oh, and evidently Obama killed Breitbart.

It was a VERY small drone.

 
 

I call genius amounts of spoof.

I base this solely on the fact that they call themselves TP Fire Ants. To know the fire ant is to hate the fire ant.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Bleah. Some guy just down the road from me is selling off his collection of Italian motorcycles on Craigslist, and I can’t afford to buy any. Yesterday, he put up 2 Laverdas from the ’70s and a ’79 Ducati 900SS (yes a square case bevel head)(yes you can buy it for me if you want). Today he put up an 86 Ducati F1B and a ’99 Laverda 750S Formula. I look at these bikes slipping out of reach of the Helmut Monotreme home for wayward Italian motorcycles, and I get sad. Who knows who will buy these bikes?

 
 

I call genius amounts of spoof.

Really, who can tell anymore?

 
 

I know. I could be wrong. Maybe the idea is that fire ants are tenacious, small and fucking evil. I mean fierce.

If someone told me there was a TP group called the Teenager Kidnapping Rapists, I would spend time wondering if it was an attempt to piss off feminists.

 
 

I heard that the rage and frustration boiled over until someone actually didn’t say “thank you” when they got their coffee at Tim Horton’s this morning.

I think you may be confusing the regular garden variety condescendingly polite and habitually passive-aggressive Canuckistani with Leafs Nation.

 
 

It was a VERY small drone.

After all, how could such a healthy even-tempered young man just drop dead at 43?

THERE WAS A DRONE HIDDEN IN THAT SOUR CREAM WE HAVE THE PICTURES

(oh, and BTW Bill Ayres Rev. Wright Bernadine Dorn yadda yadda arab terrorists THE COLE BOMBING WAS ALL CLINTON’S FAULT)

My favorite part is still the “missing 33 survivors”. They don’t have any names, no proof, but by god they’re real and ALL OBAMA HUSSEIN’S DOING! Just like the people shredders in Baghdad!

 
 

Oh, and evidently Obama killed Breitbart.

It was a VERY small drone.

Made out of cocaine…

 
 

My favorite part:

Benghazi-Truth’s opinion based on Boehner’s repeated uncontrollable public sobbing over the slimmest of reasons is that he is mentally ill, and Obama’s people have experts in psychology guiding Obama on how to manipulate a person in Boehner’s particular psychological state, which basically would wrap it all up these questions in one jigsaw puzzle completed.

It’s a prose poem.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Oh, and evidently Obama killed Breitbart.

It was a VERY small drone.

Made out of cocaine…

Diabolical! Is there any depth to which the perfidious usurper in chief will not stoop?

 
 

*snif*
‘s beautiful, man.

 
 

This ingrate is abandoning the Republican party just because of some silly repeated insults to his and other ethnic groups.

 
 

The contribution to the ACLU is the cherry on that rebuke of the repukes sundae.

 
 

From LGM, a physics professor gets threats for the dastardly crime of being the facility union president.

 
 

Behold the FDL main page, ye mighty, and despair!

Wonder if Tom can move back to his old joint.

 
 

This ingrate is abandoning the Republican party just because of some silly repeated insults to his and other ethnic groups.

“RICHWINE!!!!” Ya know, the righties have been holding a Richwine love-fest lately- how soon before more Latinos defect from the party and Richwine gets pegged as a liberal saboteur?

 
 

Not until he is held up as a Conservative Hero for chasing out the Stoopid Browns who are too stupid to accept that they are stupid.

 
 

Not until he is held up as a Conservative Hero for chasing out the Stoopid Browns who are too stupid to accept that they are stupid.

I guess he has a “grace period” until 2016, when the Latino vote will be 95% Democratic.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Lordy I wish Jason Richwine PhD could have a real life fish-out-water episode where he would have to depend on the kindness of some of the people he despises. At the end of the episode, he will have learned a little something about life, about respect and about the systematic racist and classist oppression that makes studies like his so-called research an example of grade Z horseshit.

And it’s so precious that this twerp, who sought out racists, to mentor him in racism, to produce a study ‘justifying’ racist discrimination in immigration, commissioned and paid for by a bunch of racists, to be broadcast to their audience of racists, has the nerve to be surprised and hurt by allegations of racism.

 
 

I guess he has a “grace period” until 2016, when the Latino vote will be 95% Democratic.

But see voting to stay on the liberal banana plantation will just prove how dumb they really are!

 
 

Michelle Malkin: The Crucifixion of Jason Richwine

Really?

Really?

 
 

I look at these bikes slipping out of reach of the Helmut Monotreme home for wayward Italian motorcycles, and I get sad. Who knows who will buy these bikes?

Just think of the frustration you’re avoiding by not buying those. You’d be spending all your time repairing them and never riding anyway.

They are damn nice to look at when they’re not running though. Which would be most of the time. Did I mention that they aren’t very reliable?

 
 

Behold the FDL main page, ye mighty, and despair!

It works!

This is the default web page for this server.

The web server software is running but no content has been added, yet.

I told you it was a drone strike!

 
 

Prosecute the precedent as well as the President: Mike Flannigan’s take on the AP phone record seizure scandal.

 
 

Really?

There was a “Filipinos might be nearly as bright as whites” footnote.

 
El Manquécito
 

In the Philippines they really know about crucifixion.

 
 

The Crucifixion of Jason Richwine

That sounds like a delightful plan to me.

 
 

FDL’s back up. Top article is from yesterday morning early.

Oh well, if at first you don’t succeed, drone drone again

 
 

Lordy I wish Jason Richwine PhD could have a real life fish-out-water episode where he would have to depend on the kindness of some of the people he despises. At the end of the episode, he will have learned a little something about life, about respect and about the systematic racist and classist oppression that makes studies like his so-called research an example of grade Z horseshit.

Sadly, no. At the end of the episode he is more likely to learn that some of “Those People” are OK, provided they know their place (which is taking care of people like ReichWhine).

 
 

“I look at these bikes slipping out of reach of the Helmut Monotreme home for wayward Italian motorcycles,”

I might even timidly suggest that was a good thing. You want Duc, stick to the ’91-97 SS900. Best product they ever made. I sold mine to buy a Nord C2.

 
 

Oy Gevalt! Look at the time! Gotta run, best to all, and enjoy the feeling of relief while it lasts.

 
 

FDL’s back up. Top article is from yesterday morning early.

Oh well, if at first you don’t succeed, drone drone again

Indeed:

Could not connect to remote server firedoglake.com which is currently unavailable

 
 

While I applaud Mr. Pantoja for getting outta crazytown when it became really, really obvious that the inmates have not only taken over the asylum, but are busily throwing insufficiently batshit inmates to the wolves, I feel compelled to point out that today’s Democratic Party feels so comfortable to him because it’s basically the old GOP without the ravening nuts. While I am happy for the sane Republicans in finding safe haven, and glad the new Rs seem far less bigoted than old, I would like to know when or where yer akshool liberal Democrats can have political power?

 
 

I would like to know when or where yer akshool liberal Democrats can have political power?

Oh, such silly pre-9/11 thinking.

*pats VCarlson on head*

 
 

I would like to know when or where yer akshool liberal Democrats can have political power?

Maybe … _maybe_ when the gerrymander’s head is on a pike. <== ELIMINATIONIST RHETORIC WARNING!!!

*No actual gerrymanders were endangered in the making of this comment.

 
 

Oh, such silly pre-9/11 thinking.

I know, right?

Though it’s really been going on longer than that. Sigh.

 
 

Oh, such silly pre-9/11 thinking.

Needs more Teh New Normal™ *
__________________________________________________________________________
* May not contain actual NEW or NORMAL. Void where prohibited.

 
 

Which Old GOP party was this? The GOP of The Suthuhn Stratergery is as old as I am so GOP … 50 years ago?

 
 

Come on, there was a group of GOP types who also like blowjobs and welfare reform…

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Which Old GOP party was this? The GOP of The Suthuhn Stratergery is as old as I am so GOP … 50 years ago?

Uhh… Lincoln? Teddy Roosevelt?

 
 

From LGM, a physics professor gets threats for the dastardly crime of being the facility union president.

Theory predicts that an armed society is a society of politely-worded death threats, so I was disappointed by the absence of “Please” and “Thank you” in this case.

 
 

Michelle Malkin: The Crucifixion of Jason Richwine
Really?

Malin has *always* maintained that academics* should be safe from partisan probes into their previous publications, and that their jobs should be secure however embarrassing they become to their employer.
You will find that Limbaugh has also always promoted academic* tenure and freedom of thought.

* Here a term of art, meaning “the employees of a political lobby group”.

 
 

John Hawkins has 15 reasons you hate him.

Is he asking for further contributions?

 
 

I hate him for having his frightful mug at the top of the page where I couldn’t help but see it. But to show that we libruls aren’t ALL hate, I love that he looks like a total doofus. I mean, is there a picture in the dictionary for “doofus?”

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

John Hawkins has 15 reasons you hate him.

Because he embodies nearly every negative stereotype of the young republican so completely and so un-originally, that it is much harder to criticize him specifically rather than the group of ignorant entitled mean people with which he has chosen to identify?

 
 

Speaking of hate, this is both interesting and completely expected. http://users.humboldt.edu/mstephens/hate/hate_map.html#

 
 

Which Old GOP party was this? The GOP of The Suthuhn Stratergery is as old as I am so GOP … 50 years ago?

Honestly, damfino. I was raised liberal Dem, and was assured there were some nice Rs out there, some relatives and old family friends held up as examples. Of course, when speaking with said relatives and old family friends, there were topics you just didn’t discuss. Yeah, race, religion, feminism, minority rights were some of those topics. There was a reason Mom was from Texas, and Dad only went back to help out his mother after his father died (he was her only successful pregnancy – don’t get me started on the jerks who say life begins at conception – they’re accusing Grandma, who, honestly, was with them politically, of being a multiple murderer).

 
 

eck:

6) I like women and if I feel like it, I will very respectfully note that I think they’re pretty. I also open car doors, pull out chairs and say, “Ma’am.” I was raised that way and if we had a nation full of men who behave that way instead of walking around with their pants hanging down to their knees referring to women as “b*tches,” this would be a better country.

nothing makes a woman feel more comfortable with a male than him randomly ‘noting’ that she is ‘pretty’…also, too…’ma’am’? and if you pull out a chair for me, you best be pulling one out for the dudes too…

 
 

John Hawkins has 15 reasons you hate him.

Christ, what an asshole.

 
 

this one also caused me to chuckle:

15) I have been so poor that I genuinely considered sleeping in my car for a month or two to save up some money. I once even slept in an elevator for a night because I was too broke to chip in money to stay at a friend’s hotel room and too proud to sleep over without paying my own way. I didn’t get past that by taking welfare, food stamps or waving a sign at an Occupy protest. I lived cheaply, worked hard and never stopped looking for extra ways to make money until I put some money back and got some breathing room. Don’t tell me I don’t care about poor people. I’ve been poor, I’m not anymore and I tell people what works.

i am sure any parent, single or together, who has been homeless or couldn’t afford housing sure is relieved to hear that john only had to ‘genuinely consider’ sleeping in his car for a month or two…or that as a lad he was too proud to beg…again, with no dependents…

 
 

John Hawkins has 15 reasons you hate him.

Christ, what an asshole.

right? i now feel all stabby from reading his ass-holishness…glad we have such leading lights who are willing to lead the common discourse…

 
 

John Hawkins has 15 reasons you hate him.

Why is it that every Republican thinks that they invented work?

 
 

Why is it that every Republican thinks that they invented work?

bootstraps?

 
 

I’ve never discriminated against anyone and I think anyone who uses the words “white privilege” in a non-ironic way probably spent too much time listening to the wrong college professors.–John Hawkins

Wrong profs. being the ones who know anything about race relations in the U.S. Got it.

I also have friends who are black and Hispanic, but we’re not supposed to say that anymore because it’s somehow supposed to be more evidence of racism.

Heh. You can say it. Context matters. It’s not a good defense against charges that you’re racist. “I also have friends [period]” would work better, and that’d be a non sequitur.

If handling a gun makes you wet yourself, that’s fine, but don’t try to disarm me because you can’t man-up.

It’s so important to continue the dialogue around gun control. Here are several misconceptions (stated and implied) that could be easily cleared.

I have been so poor that I genuinely considered sleeping in my car for a month or two to save up some money.

He considered it, you see. Genuinely considered it. That’s how poor he was.

I once even slept in an elevator for a night because I was too broke to chip in money to stay at a friend’s hotel room and too proud to sleep over without paying my own way.

OK, you’re a fucking idiot and no, you haven’t been poor. This is the sort of grandstanding that non-poor jackasses sometimes do. Poor people take a break when they can get it. “Thank you” and “I owe you one” and so on.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Why is it that every Republican thinks that they invented work?

White privilege and a toxic lack of empathy. Same reason they think any deviation from “they win, all the time” is discrimination.

 
 

If handling a gun makes you wet yourself, that’s fine, but don’t try to disarm me because you can’t man-up.

Tell you what little boy. When you’ve got a few hundred combat hours in your logbook come back and talk to me about “manning up”.

 
 

Speaking of hate, this is both interesting and completely expected. http://users.humboldt.edu/mstephens/hate/hate_map.html#

According to that map, the pejorative “spic” is almost extinct, at least on Twitter. Even odder, “gook” is largely limited to southwest Georgia and south-central Kansas- I wonder how this usage maps onto military bases which would house soldiers who had been in the Korean DMZ… “Chink”, strangely, is most common in the Twin Cities, northwestern Minnesota, and the Virginia/West Virginia border and is largely absent in other regions.

Fascinating.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

If handling a gun makes you wet yourself, that’s fine, but don’t try to disarm me because you can’t man-up.

If being capable of inflicting violence is his measure of manhood, that’s fucked up. However even if we grant his messed up premise, anyone that ever made a fist looks down on some chump who needs a firearm to be ‘armed’.

 
 

OK, you’re a fucking idiot and no, you haven’t been poor. This is the sort of grandstanding that non-poor jackasses sometimes do. Poor people take a break when they can get it. if they are so inclined “Thank you” and “I owe you one” and so on.

that’s an important distinction to make…some poor people don’t take any help for various reasons: pride (like john heroic), stigma (perpetuated by john heroic) or…i dunno, can’t think of any other reasons at the mo…but not all poor people take help…and i think you are being too kind when you say that’s the sort of grandstanding that non-poor jackasses ‘sometimes’ do…because from what i’ve witnessed, they ALWAYS do…

 
 

Speaking of hate, this is both interesting and completely expected. http://users.humboldt.edu/mstephens/hate/hate_map.html#

okay, the ‘wetback’ map made me lol…epicenter!

 
 

Re: that Twitter hate map, I thought the dying slurs were interesting too. Moreso than the popular ones — I was gonna say the aggregate mirrors pop. density, but no? Milwaukee (where I now live) emerges as a low-hate place, the suburbs somewhat less so, and nearby places like Mequon are notably worse.

 
 

I also open car doors, pull out chairs and say, “Ma’am.”

“Who is that creepy guy in the parking lot opening car doors?”

I imagine he gets maced a lot.

However even if we grant his messed up premise, anyone that ever made a fist looks down on some chump who needs a firearm to be ‘armed’.

I think that’s why the right-wingers were so upset at Jim Carrey’s “Cold Dead Hand“, it made fun of gun owners’ masculinity. Personally, I worked in some of the roughest neighborhoods in the country and never saw a need to pack heat. I’ve always seen guns as a destabilizing factor- if you feel a need to draw, you’ve lost control of the situation.

 
 

I remember when there were only 301 views of this video. And I’m gonna keep trying to post it until someone oohs and aahs about it.

 
 

I think that’s why the right-wingers were so upset at Jim Carrey’s “Cold Dead Hand“, it made fun of gun owners’ masculinity.

oh, i think you are absolutely right here…for the life of me, i don’t see what’s so ‘manly’ about depending on a weapon to get you out of a situation…especially when much of the rhetoric is based upon corpses…so…you’re tough if you just flat out shoot somebody when you feel threatened, rather than if you assess the situation and use either common sense or ingenuity or some other means? much like using the word ‘fuck’ and its attendant forms because you can’t be bothered or are too stupid and/or lazy to come up with a better descriptor?

 
 

I like women and if I feel like it, I will very respectfully note that I think they’re pretty. I also open car doors, pull out chairs and say, “Ma’am.

And then they say “that’s nice, but I’m still not going to sleep with you,” and you run off and writes an article about how feminism is turning all women into man hating lesbos.

I think if you’re in America, you should speak English.

Take it up with the Founding Fathers who chose not to include a national language. (Wisely, given the number of non-English speaking people – Germans, at the time – who already existed in the colonies).

I think people should stop complaining about how much money bankers and CEOS make and should start trying to become bankers and CEOS.

The Republican answer to everything. “Well, yeah, it sucks to be poor, but hey, ignore that, because maybe one day you’ll be rich too!” Because, you know, it’s totally viable to have a country where EVERYONE is a banker, a CEO or other highly paid white collar job.

How we ended up with so many people hostile to Christianity and Judaism in this country, I don’t know.

How you ended up thinking that the most racist, misogynistic, theocratic, bought-and-paid-for phonies and charlatans in those religions somehow have a monopoly on “Christianity” or “Judaism” so that if we don’t like those kinds of Christians and Jews we’ve somehow insulted the entire religion, I don’t know.

Yes, I know about nuns running charities. They’re the same ones the Vatican wants shut down because they’re liberal bitches who dare to think there are things that matter more than what two gay people are doing in the next room over.

And I’ll just ignore the overwhelming number of those charities that are subsidized out the wazoo by that sweet welfare state, so that you’re free to save the money your congregations give you on anti-abortion rallies and gay marriage bans.

Don’t tell me I don’t care about poor people. I’ve been poor, I’m not anymore and I tell people what works. but now I’ve got mine, so fuck you.

FTFY.

 
 

OK, you’re a fucking idiot and no, you haven’t been poor. This is the sort of grandstanding that non-poor jackasses sometimes do. Poor people take a break when they can get it. “Thank you” and “I owe you one” and so on.

This, also too.

And when you find people who’ve actually been poor and are now grandstanding “I NEVER took welfare!” Republicans, if you actually go back and ask them “so, how did you…” it usually turns out that they’re lying they did, in fact, take governments breaks at some point. You know, that ONE EXCEPTIONAL TIME when it was okay because “but I REALLY needed it!” or “I didn’t take very MUCH” or “it was only for a LITTLE while, it’s all these OTHER people who’re leeching forever…”

 
 

because they’re liberal bitches

ahem…that’s liberal ‘ma’ams’ to you!

 
 

Well, bbkf, I don’t really think that poor people who refuse help are always idiots. You made a most important distinction–whether they have dependents. Pride and social stigma should not prevent us from getting kids fed, etc.

Sleeping outdoors some places is really no big deal. An elevator sounds positively cozy, provided it’s reasonably clean and nobody uses it during the night. Hawkins is just clueless. Oddly he has reminded me of Mitt. There was a time when young Mitt had to sell some of his portfolio, bit by bit, to pay the bills. Him and whats-her-name had to stop entertaining.

 
 

Well, bbkf, I don’t really think that poor people who refuse help are always idiots.

did not mean to imply that…besides, i thought you were referring to john heroic as being the idiot…and yeah, pride and social stigma shouldn’t prevent us from getting help, but sadly, it does…which i have never figured out…seems to me that a lot of these kids who have been raised by overly proud, bootstrappy parents, turn into people like john heroic…

 
 

I also open car doors, pull out chairs and say, “Ma’am.

Officer, that man is stealing chairs from my car.

 
 

did not mean to imply that…besides, i thought you were referring to john heroic as being the idiot

I figured as much. If by John Heroic, you mean this “15 Reasons” Hawkins guy, then yes, he’s an idiot, but I dispute whether he’s been truly poor in a character-shaping way.

 
 

I figured as much. If by John Heroic, you mean this “15 Reasons” Hawkins guy, then yes, he’s an idiot, but I dispute whether he’s been truly poor in a character-shaping way.

yes, yes i do…i also do not think he has been truly poor…but there is something there about poor character shaping in his past…

 
 

I also open car doors, pull out chairs and say, “Ma’am.

except for the ma’am part, i think its safe to say that we ALL do these things…

 
 

How we ended up with so many people hostile to Christianity and Judaism in this country, I don’t know.

I don’t know about Judaism (probably more attributable to Israel than Jews, methinks) but “hostile to Christianity” my fucking fat heinder. Spend five fucking minutes down here in the South and tell me American Christians are some kind of oppressed minority ready for the cattle cars, boobie.

 
 

“How do I hate thee, let me count the ways” has a nice ring to it.

 
 

BTW, I think Hawkins’ column worked more effectively when IT WAS EVERY “MALLARD FILLMORE” STRIP EVER WRITTEN.

*pffft*

 
 

I’ve been poor, I’m not anymore and I tell people what works.

“Parlay your political connections into a gig writing useless whiny-ass crap about what victims conservatives are.”

 
 

I’ve been poor, I’m not anymore and I tell people what works.

Hitting mom and dad up for the rent money?

 
 

Selling some stocks. It hurts to lose those future dividends, but needs must.

 
 

Selling some stocks. It hurts to lose those future dividends, but needs must.

Throw another armful of tickertape on the fire so we can warm up this can of hobo lupini.

 
 

Ain’t no Real Man like a Whiny-Ass Wait For Someone Else So You Can Take Credit Contemplated Eating a 7-11 Hot Dog Once Boycott Fox For Being Too Leftist Needs An Assault Rifle To Compensate For His “Shortcoming” Happy To See Others Fight His Battles For Him Real Man Conservative.

Don’t crowd, ladies, don’t crowd!

 
 

I slept in an elevator one night. I think. I woke up in an elevator one morning, that much I remember.

 
 

Darrell Issa weighs in on why Benghazi is worse than the Crucifixion:

[A]n act of terror is different than a terrorist attack.

And, yes, that’s a direct quote.

 
 

[A]n act of terror is different than a terrorist attack.

Oh sure, an act of terror could be like a mime or magician.

 
 

[A]n act of terror is different than a terrorist attack.

It depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is.

 
 

I wish the stupid son of a bitch had just said “whooeeee, yeah boy howdy, that girl could suck the chrome offa trailer hitch”.

 
 

Not so much a new post as it is a new rant.

 
 

[A]n act of terror is different than a terrorist attack.

Then why did George W. Bush call it the “war on terror” and not the “war on terrorism?”

 
 

Oh sure, an act of terror could be like a mime or magician.

Or a children’s party clown.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

How we ended up with so many people hostile to Christianity and Judaism in this country, I don’t know.

Well, first we have to account for all the people who think the Jews are Christ-killers and mud people and control the banks and are reptiloids and Bolshevik agitators and are just making up the Holocaust to trick God-fearing white America.

So, most of the Republican base.

Then we have to account for the Israeli contingent and Kahanist contingent for the left-wing anger at the Jews.

Then I suppose what we’re left with is residual anger at the Jews every time some Christian fuckwit uses the construction “Judeo-Christian” to disguise some fundamentalist “literalist” reading of the Old Testament so that he can be an asshole with God on his side, even if the actual “Judeo” part of that construction hasn’t used that read since the Romans were blowing up our Temple for not liking the Romans very much.

Think that right about covers it. You’re kind of bad at this John Hawkins, I figured it out and I just woke up at four in the fucking morning.

 
 

Who is John Hawkins?

Oh, another of those sad fucknuggets who has turned holding doors and pulling back chairs into an act of hostility because he heard somewhere once that feminists object to this sort of thing.

“There you go bitch! I’m holding the door for you and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! Cower before my manly door holding hand!”

And then home to wank off over all the hos he has conquered on that day.

 
 

.heheh, figures a thread wouldn’t exist for this Holiday or a calender spot, although we get chutney love day or whatever the f*** that brit stuff is.

http://wook.bhozar.com/forums/printer-friendly.asp?tid=6541&mid=

 
 

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