May
9

More Alternate Histories Than a Harry Turtledove Novel




Posted at 11:46 by Cerberus

Yeah, you hold that gun real high there, champ. That’ll prove your masculinity isn’t a glass flower, ready to shatter at the slightest cough.

Kevin D. Williamson, National Enraged Grue:
Frank Rich Is Wrong about Civil Rights

All right, let’s play a quick game of make-believe. Okay, let’s say you are a hack, specifically hired by a pack of racist dickweasels to help obfuscate the terrible social ills your party and ideology have foisted upon the world, especially against minority groups. Sure, every single post you write is a direct cash-in of your soul, a painfully obvious whitewashing of recorded history for the purpose of encouraging the continued ignorance of wannabe-intelligent dumb white hicks from the suburbs in ways that will continue to deny black people long delayed civil rights and public recognition as full human beings. It may be a terrible job, but hey, some whores weren’t born with a gifted mouth if you know what I mean.

Then imagine someone in the sane world notices and calls attention to the fact that you are a cheap sell-out deliberately trying to trade misinformation about black history in service to a squadron of historical revisionists without the balls to stand by the conviction of the ideas and actions they fought so hard to preserve and frankly, still fight for to this day. Imagine the pained rage at having your head forced against the mirror eyes locked on exactly what you said you’d never become.

Imagine trying to sputter out a feeble self-defense for your crimes. Imagine it sounds something like this:

Slightly Shorter (or the port looks nice this time of year):

  • I shall defend against your scurrilous accusations of rewriting racial history in service to my paymasters by rewriting racial history in accordance to their whim. Did you know that the Party Switcheroo on race didn’t occur around the Civil Rights Act as lying reality might maintain but rather because of a refreshing grape soda in the 90s? Also, the only reason blacks and whites swapped places during the 60s is because blacks are welfare queens willing to part with their humanity and support bigots just for a taste of government dependence and white people are just moral enough to be appalled by that… what’s that? You can see my soul divorcing my body as I speak? How dare you notice that!

Even with that grueling exercise in empathy, is there even a remote chance you don’t want to kick ol’ Kev in the balls until he fully recites the Southern Strategy’s effect in exploiting racism for temporary Republican electoral gains?


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. It turns out I actually am capable of performing a quickie from time to time. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

It’s also worth noting that Kevin Williamson is on record knowing damn well when the switch over between the parties happened. But hey, if they were intellectually honest, they wouldn’t be conservatives.

334 Comments »

  1. Major Kong said,

    May 9, 2013 at 13:05

    First!

  2. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 9, 2013 at 13:58

    The fact is, I agree with everything he says, also liberals are stupid.

  3. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:07

    Is that really a picture of him? Why do these folks keep insisting on creating photographic evidence of their ignorance about guns and gun safety?

  4. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:26

    Good catch, DKW.

    He’s gotta have his finger on the trigger to defend against Obama’s tyrrany, which will be happening ANY MINUTE NOW!

    . . .

    seriously, ANY MINUTE NOW…

    um… tyranny… any… minute…

    *cough*

    Bengazi!

  5. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:28

    BTW, has You Know Who been by recently to tell us how the guy they arrested as a right-wing terrorist in Minnesota is further proof that David Niewert is wrong because mumble mumble something shut up that’s why?

  6. Shakezula said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:36

    When pressured by facts and/or ridicule, Homo Wingnuttus emits a noisy fusillade of sharts and escapes while the attacker is still laughing. For example…

  7. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:47

    Yer saying Kevin D. Williamson is a N.E.Grue?
    ~

  8. Yastreblyansky said,

    May 9, 2013 at 14:50

    Just to note for the record and at every opportunity: the Republican party abandoned civil rights not in the 1990s, and not in 1964, but in 1877, as part of the deal whereby Democrats would accept the barely elected Rutherford B. Hayes as president.

  9. Pryme said,

    May 9, 2013 at 15:01

    When a “rogue government” decides to retaliate against their guns with bombs, the joke will be on them.

    Anyhoo…they’ve been trying to claim MLK was some ultra-conservative (when they aren’t calling him an adulterous boozehound) so why is this any different?

  10. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 9, 2013 at 15:02

    It’s not just the poor trigger discipline or the lack of eye protection. What really has me concerned is that he’s wearing a hoodie. Armed AND wearing a hoodie?!?! That’s not just dangerous, it’s suicidal.

  11. Eddie-g said,

    May 9, 2013 at 15:44

    Er, you sure about the pic? I think that’s David Sirotta

  12. bughunter said,

    May 9, 2013 at 15:46

    Damn, Cerb. That’s some biting snark. Especially the bit about cashing in his soul and the allusion to his fellating prowess.

    It’s got some sharp teeth, there… it’s like the shark of snark.

    But it’s all true… you can tell from his eyes.

    (And his mouth.)

  13. Whale Chowder said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:04

    Holy shit that article is a lot of dumb. It’s like he’s never heard of the Southern Strategy. Oh right, he’s paid not to remember that.

    Right on, again, Cerb.

  14. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:06

    Imagine the pained rage at having your head forced against the mirror eyes locked on exactly what you said you’d never become.

    Obection! Assumes facts not in evidence! How do you know this loser didn’t grow up getting merit badges in toadying and obfuscation. I submit that it is just as likely that this person is fulfilling his ambitions of being the greatest lickspittle he can be.

  15. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:09

    Er, you sure about the pic? I think that’s David Sirotta

    I was thinking the same thing…If not, a Doppelganger if there ever was one.

  16. Smartaleck69 said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:11

    Harry Turtledove novels, as a rule, usually have only one alternative history. In fact, since he’s written multiple series about a single alternate history – his best-selling alternate history got the full R.A. Salvatore of 12 books – Turtledove’s novels contain, on average, less than one different alternate history per book. Therefore, Kevin Williamson has Harry Turtledove beat in the “alternate histories per publication” category. [/nitpicking]

  17. Shakezula said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:32

    Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence! How do you know this loser didn’t grow up getting merit badges in toadying and obfuscation or listening to fucked up family members recite their fucked up version of history.

    Alterated for alternate factiness.

  18. JohnR said,

    May 9, 2013 at 16:46

    He does have a pretty mouth. And the way he holds that gun? It’s like he’s just begging for it. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
    Also, I’m not sure that this is necessarily the way to go, Cerberus – as the Great Philosopher* once said: “With you, my dear, never a quickie – always a longie.” I look forward to the resumption of your Epic Posts.

    *George Hamilton, in what may be the most ironic role ever conceived.

  19. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:08

    The fact is, you liberals are not acknowledging me and my intelectual surperiority. Therefore you surpress my free speech, and you are worse than Hitler.

  20. Black People as Imagined by Republicans said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:18

    Civil rights? What’s that?

  21. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:26

    Dennis is busy humiliating himself by displaying a lack of English grammar usage on another Disqus site.

    Give him some time, he’ll be here to beclown himself again.

  22. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:29

    Blacks are a natural constituency for Republicans, which is why Republicans want to keep them from voting.

  23. tigris said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:41

    you are worse than Hitler.

    I don’t care how bad you want it, NOBODY is going to poop on you.

  24. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:48

    Hey look, one-trick pony troll is here.
    ~

  25. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:57

    Ariel Castro is a registered Democrat and convicted murderer ergo Barack Obama should be impeached for murder.

  26. Shakezula said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:03

    Black People as Imagined by Republicans said,

    May 9, 2013 at 17:18

    Civil rights?- What’s that?

    Lawdy, we doan want none o dat!

    OR

    Yes we abuse them to smoke crack and steal your tbones and jobs!

  27. danah gaz said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:18

    +1 for use of the slur “grue”. I nearly forgot that word, despite it’s utility for denigrating cis people in a way that goes completely over their heads. woot!

  28. Chris said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:22

    Did you know that the Party Switcheroo on race didn’t occur around the Civil Rights Act as lying reality might maintain but rather because of a refreshing grape soda in the 90s?

    I have no intention of going mango-diving, but it is true that it’s not as simple as “the parties switched in the sixties at the time of the Civil Rights Act.” The switch was underway as early as 1877 (the year the Republicans agreed to hand the South back to the former Confederates in exchange for the presidency and just generally stopped caring about civil rights) and lasted as late as 1994 (when the Gingrich Revolution flipped the Southern political class from Southern Democrats who voted with Republicans most of the time, to just Republicans). As for the Democratic side of the switch, that started happening as early as 1947 when Truman took it off the shelf and made it an issue again for the first time in seventy years.

    The idea that the switch wasn’t based 110% on racial politics, on the other hand, is just good for a laugh.

  29. Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:22

    after a gis I iz pretty sure that aint Kevn Williamson. The expression does fit someone who just had a temper tantrum prior to crying his eyes out but only in whingnuttistan does that constitute enough evydense to put it in print.

    Also, boring and stupid troll is boring. And stupid.

  30. Chris said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:25

    Just to note for the record and at every opportunity: the Republican party abandoned civil rights not in the 1990s, and not in 1964, but in 1877, as part of the deal whereby Democrats would accept the barely elected Rutherford B. Hayes as president.

    FUCK.

    Every goddamn time I don’t read the comments…

  31. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:50

    Holy shit that article is a lot of dumb. It’s like he’s never heard of the Southern Strategy. Oh right, he’s paid not to remember that.

    To paraphrase Buckley, the conservatives stand athwart history shouting, “THAT NEVER HAPPENED! WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME RATHER THAN YOUR OWN LYING EYES?!?!?”

  32. Thread Bear said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:54

    they’ve been trying to claim MLK was some ultra-conservative (when they aren’t by calling him an adulterous boozehound

    Fixerated to make their argument more valid.

  33. VCarlson said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:00

    Every goddamn time I don’t read the comments…

    ‘S okay. You provided some welcome fleshing out to the original reference. I’m mostly a science geek, and am a bit weak on history.

  34. histrogeek said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:02

    Chris,
    Not to get too picky but the Dems started hunting African American votes about midway through the Great Migration, once the Democratic city bosses figured out how to slip some gravy to local blacks without pissing off the white voters. There was no way the bosses would let a potential GOP bloc (and what few blacks that were voting still went with Lincoln in the 1920s and early 1930s) sit in their cities.
    Then the New Deal happened, which definitely got the attention of the most economically screw groups. Add social liberals like Henry Wallace or Eleanor Roosevelt, labor leaders like Lewis and Reuther with Randolph, along with the bosses who’d let them vote and give out some candy, and suddenly African Americans were wonder why not vote FDR, since the GOP was giving them jack all.
    Not that it translated into civil rights except in some limited cases until Wallace and Truman decided to start taking civil rights seriously. Even then MLK Sr. and Jackie Robinson endorsed Nixon in 1960.

  35. Shakezula said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:20

    Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 18:22

    after a gis I iz pretty sure that aint Kevn Williamson.

    Me neither. Here he is displaying his Manscaped Mega Melon.

  36. Major Kong said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:30

    Why do they always have a picture of them posing with a gun?

    I think there’s only one picture that even exists of me with a gun, and that was during the war, and I had it holstered.

  37. Chris said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:42

    histrogeek said,
    May 9, 2013 at 19:02

    I knew about the black vote starting to move over to the Democrats as early as FDR, but I hadn’t heard that the city bosses had gotten the trend going, though I’m not surprised. The “without pissing off white people” thing is key, though, it didn’t translate to actual action until Truman (as you pointed out).

    I’ve also heard the Democrats’ adoption of civil rights blamed as one of the (many) reasons the urban machines fell apart – many bosses were no longer able to juggle between their traditional “ethnic white” constituencies and the up-and-coming nonwhite demographics.

  38. Rebecca Schlacter said,

    May 9, 2013 at 19:58

    Thanks for the laughs, Dennis Gene

  39. Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 20:47

    Dennis said,
    May 9, 2013 at 20:22

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

  40. M. Bouffant said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:07

    Boring obsessive is stupid. And boring.

    (But what/who isn’t?)

  41. Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:13

    POOP is always funny.

  42. Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:18

    Speaking of pointing and laughing,

    On today’s episode of the 700 Club, Pat Robertson urged viewers to avoid false prophets and televangelists caught up in scandal. “By your fruits you shall know them, what’s their track record?” Robertson told cohost Terry Meeuwsen, “You can dominate somebody that way: I’ve heard from the Lord, I have a message for you, do this.”

    Funny he should mention this, because just today we stumbled across an interview between Pat Robertson and televangelist Benny Hinn the week before the presidential election where Robertson bluntly informed Hinn that “the Lord told me” that Mitt Romney would defeat President Obama.

    Not only did God inform Robertson that “Romney will win” but that he will be a two-term president who presides over a huge economic boom.
    Robertson even told Romney to save him a ticket for the inauguration: “I told Mitt a long time ago, I called him and said listen, I’ve been in prayer and number one you’re going to win the nomination and number two you’re going to win the general election, he said ‘well what can I do for you,’ I said give me a seat on the platform during your inauguration, give me a ticket to your inauguration.”

    “The Lord said he’s going to have a second term, I told him there will be to be trillions of dollars coming into the economy when you’re elected,” Robertson continued, “the stock market ought to boom, everything ought to boom.”

    This all deeply reassured Hinn who said that Robertson was conveying “God’s voice.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-robertson-who-said-lord-told-me-romney-will-win-urges-viewers-beware-false-prophets

  43. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:23

    I find myself wondering at times how many female sock puppets the boring and stupid trolly Dennis/Sally has and what meds* are employed to allow trolly to think it has a point worth making, a witty riposte or savvy observation. One might be allowed to imagine the trolly is the result of the marriage of one of the offspring from the movie “when Dunning net Kruger” and one of the kids from that X-files episode where the legless mother hid out on a wheel board beneath the bed.

    *I have to admit that I want some of that shit.

  44. Shakezula said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:27

    I love it when they make Jesus out to be a big time capitalist. But then I also think it funny that with all of these conversations, Jesus never drops a cure for cancer, or even the common cold.

  45. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:34

    and one of the kids from that X-files episode where the legless mother hid out on a wheel board beneath the bed.

    That episode was creepy!

  46. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:42

    I also think it funny that with all of these conversations, Jesus never drops a cure for cancer, or even the common cold.

    He’s been too busy.

  47. tigris said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:48

    I love it when they make Jesus out to be a big time capitalist.

    He chased the money changers out of the temple because their fees were too low. TRUFAX.

  48. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:50

    Speaking of pointing and laughing,…..

    Effing Brill.

    BTW pup, I have some sheepshead fillets that are thawing And was thinking of baking some of them for a birthday dinner and wonder if you might have any advice. I have some wostershire sause, course salt and pepper, some olive oil and a lemon, and possibly an onion and will try to pick up another lemon some garlic and some butter. I also plan to dice up one or two of the fillets and fry them in a pan and make a butter/garlic/lemon/pepper sauce for dipping and have that as an appetizer.

    As it seems to have just started raining, i may have to make do with what i have on hand. Is this course of action in any way offensive to culinary application (i.e. too heavy handed) and do you have any alternative ideas on how I might proceed. TIA.

    While I am generally regarded as a very good cook, I have limited experience with the seafood, as I reside where I reside (fucking heartland), and would like to hear what the chief chef/gourmand/FoodPronCommando™ of SadlyNo’ has to say.

    I have looked into a few serviceable recipes on the subject, and while I don’t mind going Iron Shef on shit that I am familier with, I would rather not fuck up this meal.

    I think my 49th trip round the sun begins in a little over two hours or started about ten hours ago, not quite sure.

  49. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 21:52

    Also, too, as well, any input from other parties with regards to my plans with the sheepshead fillets (el manq?) will be welcomed.

  50. Major Kong said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:06

    If it’s good quality fish I’d just keep it simple.

    Olive oil, lemon, a little fresh oregano and maybe some garlic.

  51. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:07

    That episode was creepy!

    One of the creepiest IIRC. Just found full length Mission Impossible episodes on the u tube and am loving the trip back to one of my favorites as a kid growing up in the ’70′s. Don’t think I have seen an episode in nearly 30 + years.

  52. Pupienus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:08

    I have made sheepshead only once, and eaten it no more than two or three times. I would go simple simple simple. AIR, I did a puhswaydoe Nawlins thing with diced onion, red pepper amd celery sauteed lightly in butter (prolly had garlic too on account of because I caint get nuff ‘o dat shit) then laid seasoned fillets on top, put dollops (BIG FUCKING DOLLOPS) of butter on top of the fillets, cover and cook til it just starts to flake. Drizzle lemon over and Bob’s yer uncle. If you lack the aromatics You might season them, dredge in flour and pan fry in butter. Squeeze of lemon and voily.

  53. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:12

    +1 for use of the slur “grue”. I nearly forgot that word, despite it’s utility for denigrating cis people in a way that goes completely over their heads.

    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a LGBT. And you’ll enjoy it.

  54. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:13

    Olive oil, lemon, a little fresh oregano and maybe some garlic.

    Thanks Major, looks like I have about a fifteen to 20 minute window to dash to the store on the bike before another wave of rain rolls through…brb.

  55. Dennis Gene Butthurt Schlacter said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:14

    Congrats to you for not calling danah gaz by male-gendered names again.

    That means a lot coming from you, Dennis Gene the Mean Machine.

    Now, put away the iPad, get to work, and try not to run out the door like you did yesterday at quitting time.

  56. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:15

    Here are some ‘fabulous’ recipes for Dennissheepshead fillets.

    http://www.wwltv.com/food/frank-davis/recipe-archive/seafood/Fabulous-ways-to-prepare-Sheepshead-124440604.html

  57. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:21

    Will you and Dennis just fuck off? It takes two to tango the most boring tango in existence.

  58. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:21

    BTW – speaking of oral fixations, I should have kept my eeedjit mouth shut.

  59. suezboo said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:23

    bbkf : Allie Brosch (?) is Back !!!

  60. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:23

    Why do they always have a picture of them posing with a gun?

    PENIS.

    IYKWIMAITYD.

  61. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:29

    Squeeze of lemon and voily.

    The rain has kicked in again, but should be passed before ingredients should be necessary. I will fry up one of the fillets per instructions and pick up the trinity at the market and proceed as described. Thanks pup.

    And Major, your suggestion of the bed of potatoes under the chicken to be roasted has always resulted in awesome.

    onion, red pepper, celery, garlic, butter a bit of flour/cornmeal and eggs. a meal tonight and fish omelets on the weekend.

    Done and Done!

  62. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:30

    PU does not clog my RSS feed as certain others do, so I beg forgiveness.

  63. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:30

    Hey, he followed me here, so I’m keeping him. I already have an appointment for his neutering next week.

  64. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:30

    OMFG

    we will all remember where we were on this tragic day

  65. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:42

    bbkf : Allie Brosch (?) is Back !!!

    Fucking A!!!!Luciana Paluzzi

    Sadly, just a couple of new ones, with an epic I just scanned called “Depression part two.”

    That woman is a National treasure and has had me rolling on the floor in tears. Over 4000 comments on the last piece and just under 2000 on the previous one.

    I would without hesitation take a bullet for that one, given what her particular brand of genius means to me. i musta missed bbkf’s anouncement. thanks suze.

    Rain has stopped will attempt a run to store now.

    xoxox all of you, even Sally/Dennis.

  66. El Manquécito said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:42

    I like the whole porgie/sheepshead/rock bass family and have done this treatment to them with excellent results, like Pup sez they know from fish in NOLA. This is from a late 60′s cookbook from Brennan’s. Use some trimmings and make a quick stock if you didn’t get the whole carcass. Fresh sheepshead carcasses make superb stock.

  67. The GOP said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:51

    BENGHAZI BENGHAZI HITLERY BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI HITLERY BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI HITLERY BENGHAZI

  68. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:54

    The GOP said

    Additional LOLZ from the article:

    The Karl Rove-backed American Crossroads: “Hicks told Clinton at 2am it was terrorism.”

    Seven lines later:

    EDITOR’S NOTE: NBC’s Lisa Myers reports that Hicks never told Clinton at 2 am that the attack was terrorism.

    Karl Rove spreading lies? INCONTHEEVABLE!

  69. bughunter said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:58

    Whey those were first introduced, and they’d ask if I wanted to try one, I’d always reply “Are they available without the ‘g’?”

    And, alas, the chicken selects were about the only thing edible at that place.

  70. bughunter said,

    May 9, 2013 at 22:59

    Referring to Ubu at 22:30, of course.

  71. Pere Ubu said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:05

    I like the new popularity of Angus beef. It enables me to say “h’AAAngus” like a cranky Scotsman (are there any other kind?).

  72. El Manquécito said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:09

    Hey, trolls, get a bridge.

  73. bbkf said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:16

    minnesota joins the fray!!!

  74. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:17

    Yes, Dennis, because Substance is getting tired of our schtick, you’re blaming me as usual.

    I’m not the one who got caught by the cops in Caracas. It wasn’t me who was in the hoosegow in Hawaii. I wasn’t the one arrested in Amsterdam.

    Okay?

    http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo70x10Hyn1qgpg60o1_400.jpg

  75. bbkf said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:18

    bbkf : Allie Brosch (?) is Back !!!

    awesome! this day just gets better and better!

  76. Major Kong said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:26

    I’m not the one who got caught by the cops in Caracas. It wasn’t me who was in the hoosegow in Hawaii. I wasn’t the one arrested in Amsterdam.

    I was gambling in Havana I took a little risk…..

  77. bbkf said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:26

    I like the new popularity of Angus beef. It enables me to say “h’AAAngus” like a cranky Scotsman (are there any other kind?).

    uh, yeah! the scott’s lawn guy…he’s hot in a strange way…also, too…really? sheepshead? they are widely considered a junk fish here…

  78. Cerberus said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:34

    And… gone.

  79. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:46

    You might season them, dredge in flour and pan fry in butter
    Ding ding ding,..Seriously.
    Only way to go.

  80. wiley said,

    May 9, 2013 at 23:51

    His “argument” was—

    If you can dig through Mr. Rich’s characteristically limp and emotive prose…

    — calling Frank Rich “a fag”. All conservative thought can just stop right there. The rest is pretending to have rebutted the “liberal fag’s” argument with an epitaph and blah, blah, blah, blah.

    Fag. La, la, la, la, la— I can’t hear you!

  81. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:01

    And peanut oil, frying fish in peanut oil is the way to go, if you’re in a frying mood.

  82. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:06

    Peanut oil is apparently the choice for fyring turkeys as well, from what I’ve seen.

    I assume it can stand a higher heat than vegetable or canola oil can?

  83. El Manquécito said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:06

    bbkf– unless you got some salty water I ain’t heard of you’ve got a different kind of sheepshead. They are a fine game fish and delicious eating. archosargus probatocephalus

  84. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:07

    Back from the stores and slightly damp, but got everything but the butter (really…takes picture of self, puts picture on wall and shakes fist at same, muttering “you fucking bastard, under breath”) House mate hooked me up with some blue bonnet (yes, I know, not even remotely, and I do have some yogurt I might try on the baked version as well…

    bbkf,
    from my short foray into the world of the sheepshead (and these were caught by a good friend, who claimed that they were tasty indeed) anecdotal evidence on the intertrons seem to indicate that he is not alone in his opinion. We shall see.

    I am thinking that I might batter and fry a third of what I have or whatever is left that wont fit in the baking pan…Got some prep to do.

    xoxox

  85. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:10

    Really in the parenthetical aside above should have been followed by ?!?!?!?!? and a closing quote should have followed bastard, instead of under breath.

    /own goal

  86. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:18

    http://www.wwltv.com/food/frank-davis/recipe-archive/seafood/Fabulous-ways-to-prepare-Sheepshead-124440604.html

    As El Manq’ has weighed in I offer the above for bbkf. I feel like I am in for a treat, as well as too lazy to imbed above URL. Unless it does not work, that is.

  87. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:34

    As a utterly-non-depressed person, that latest Hyperbole-and-a-half thing is an absolutely amazing look into a depressed person’s life. Go read it now, if you haven’t:

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

  88. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:35

    I assume it can stand a higher heat than vegetable or canola oil can?

    Not sure. It has a higher smoke point than olive oil. Normally I cook with olive oil but I use peanut oil if I need to fry something at high temp.

  89. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:37

    fuck. Don’t know how I managed to miss the Lovecraft Film festival this past weekend.

  90. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:39

    Peanut oil has a high smoke point. Much higher than olive oil, as MK points out. But for frying fish I rarely use anything but clarified butter.

  91. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:43

    Pup, perhaps you were too busy with your morbid doodling with human body parts?

  92. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:46

    bbkf is referring to Aplodinotus grunniens.
    Freshwater Drum
    Fish names is rilly confuzzelatin’.
    When my southeren cuzzin called a “Bluegill” a “Bream” (Pronounced “brim” for some freakin’ reason) I about laughed him out of the boat.
    Then I looked it up in a book.

  93. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:51

    I usually use soy oil in a misto sprayer for cooking or seasoning pans; it has a higher smoke point than even peanut oil, but it’s not really considered healthy.

    But it’s cheap… though you have to look for it at the supermarket. Most “vegetable oils” there are either canola oil (yucky and bitter) or corn oil (meh).

    If I need to cook in a lot of oil, I usually just use Costco’s Extra Virgin Olive Oil, cuz it’s handy and plentiful.

    However, if I’m gonna deep fry, Peanut oil is the only choice.

    Here: http://www.eatingrules.com/Cooking-Oil-Comparison-Chart_02-22-12.pdf

    Also, too: http://www.jonbarron.org/article/healthiest-cooking-oil-chart-smoke-points

  94. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:52

    There should have been a “probably” in there since I really have no idea where she may fish.

  95. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:58

    Tryin to think … the only things i ever deep fry are chicken (for which basic “vegetable oil” is fine, and frenchy fries for which i use peanut oil.

    Read something recently that said most of the fish sold in US supermarkets is mislabeled. ‘Round these parts we see rock cod, true cod, ling cod, cod, codpieces and so on.

    Also, according to recent information, most extra virgin olive oil isn’t.

  96. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 0:59

    I’m floating!

  97. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:02

    Pup, perhaps you were too busy with your morbid doodling with human body parts?

    Despite Pennis’ assertions, I am not obsessed with PENIS. Just …. well, fascinated.

  98. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:09

    On today’s episode of the 700 Club, Pat Robertson urged viewers to avoid false prophets and televangelists caught up in scandal. “By your fruits you shall know them, what’s their track record?” Robertson told cohost Terry Meeuwsen, “You can dominate somebody that way: I’ve heard from the Lord, I have a message for you, do this.”

    Man, now he’s just trolling his sheep. He’s basically giving the game away, and they’ll still send him money.

  99. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:10

    McDonald’s cuts Angus burgers from menu

    The Anus burgers are still on the menu.

  100. wiley said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:14

    Wow, OBS— Allie has drawn that boneless feeling to perfection.

  101. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:22

    Go read it now, if you haven’t:

    Just finished the piece, eyes clouded with tears. Brilliant. In fact, one should be advised to read the whole site.

    As a founding member of my personal chapter of the Cassandra Society, I often vacillate between Hope and Depression and sometimes wonder if the only thing that has kept me alive this long is externalizing the latter and internalizing the former.

    Start, if you are not yet familiar with the first one,
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

    Actually if you are unfamiliar with her work, start from the beginning. or at least catch a few from the greatest hits sidebar.

    Need to check on some potatoes

  102. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 1:26

    uh, yeah! the scott’s lawn guy…he’s hot in a strange way…

    Funny, I put the d00d down in a recent blog post.

  103. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:12

    I never in a million years thought this could be real.

  104. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:19

    “Jesus Christ died for your sins!”

    “WERE YOU THERE?!?” *guffaw guffaw*

  105. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:24

    As a utterly-non-depressed person, that latest Hyperbole-and-a-half thing is an absolutely amazing look into a depressed person’s life.

    I just skimmed over it, but christ – being I’m fighting off the black dog right now myself, it’s spot-on, though for me being pissed off is more a case of my “high” than a choice.

  106. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:30

    BTW, now I know that the empty and frustrated feeling I have when I look at shit that I thought was fun isn’t because I didn’t find that stuff fun.

    Which totally doesn’t make it better, but at least I wasn’t imagining things.

  107. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:51

    Not that you guys necessarily want to hear about how fucked-up my brain is.

  108. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:52

    The fried version (appetizer) has met with acclaim, though my palate knows it could have been better. I used an egg wash and flower with a dash or two of course salt, course ground pepper and some sesame seeds. it is quite passible that my forgetting the butter and instead relying on the blue bonnet lemon garlic dipping sauce might be responsible for my misgivings.

    I’d still rate it a seven. main course should be ready in about 20 minutes.

  109. Just Alison said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:52

    That hyperbole-and-a-half page was awesome. As a previously-chronically-depressed-for-most-of-life person, I can totally relate to most of it, although mine had more of a swamp-dragging-me-down-into-swampy-horror feel to it. Plus I can draw funny cartoons (or anything, really), so my social interactions consisted largely of me burbling about how horrid I felt and how I wished I could die (to which one erstwhile friend responded “Well, why don’t you just kill yourself then?”)

    Oddly enough, a few years ago I had a seizure, and suddenly no more depression since then. The world suddenly seemed full of rainbows and unicorns and people in cafes getting up to do random song and dance numbers. It was amazing, and I realised that that was how most people felt all the time – it was just that I’d been so crushingly miserable for so long that ‘normal’ felt ludicrously happy.

    Neurochemistry is such a mystery – a few molecules different here and there, a slightly different charge, a weeny change in absorption rate of neurotransmitters, and one becomes an entirely different human (at least, I assume I’m still human).

  110. Just Alison said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:56

    Pere Ubu, I can totally sympathise/empathise, and all I can recommend is EST. Well, it worked for me, self-administered though it was. Only downside is that my brain seems to be trying to get back to what it considers its normal state (i.e. crap), so I get a bunch of partial seizures (i.e. funny head stuff that makes me stupid for a few days and has other weird after-effects) every couple of months.

    But it’s still better than feeling like I’m being eaten away from inside.

  111. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:58

    Not that you guys necessarily want to hear about how fucked-up my brain is.

    There is a club of which I am currently president and the only member (funny how that works), but if you and anyone else would like to join I promise that we could have an election, like tomorrow, after we sorted out the secret hand-shakes and other minutia, like coming up with a name…I am pretty sure that you would get my vote…

  112. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 2:59

    Yeah, but EST as a concept scares the living shit out of me.

  113. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:04

    Not that you guys necessarily want to hear about how fucked-up my brain is.

    If it makes you feel a bit better, don’t be shy about “talking it out”. We’re friends here.

  114. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:05

    Allison, Just, also, too has been extended an invitation to the hitherfore unamed club.

    cyber hugs to both of you.

    xoxox

  115. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:08

    Also, too, what quadB said!

  116. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:10

    What do you suppose that masculine fellow is listening to on those headphones? I’m guessing a 20 hour podcast of Harley noises.

  117. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:31

    I was imagining Al Green.

  118. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:45

    Or maybe Yakkity Sax?

  119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:56

    What do you suppose that masculine fellow is listening to on those headphones?

    Nyan Cat, definitely Nyan Cat.

  120. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:57

    Hungarian Rhapsody #2 while representatives from two species argue over what season it is.

  121. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:57

    Ozzy Fudd.

  122. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 3:58

    Kill the wabbit!

  123. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:00

    Looks a fun filled night of dodging thunderstorms between Dayton and Memphis. So I’ve got that to look forward to.

  124. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:02

    The truth and the power:

    And that’s the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn’t always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn’t even something — it’s nothing. And you can’t combat nothing. You can’t fill it up. You can’t cover it. It’s just there, pulling the meaning out of everything. That being the case, all the hopeful, proactive solutions start to sound completely insane in contrast to the scope of the problem.

    It would be like having a bunch of dead fish, but no one around you will acknowledge that the fish are dead. Instead, they offer to help you look for the fish or try to help you figure out why they disappeared.

    Seriously, if this makes no sense to you, congrats. But given the stats on depression you have or will meet someone with dead fish. I mean depression. Please react to the dead fish as though they are dead and not merely napping after a prolonged swim.

    Merci OBS.

  125. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:04

    Funny, there’s thunderstorms and cloud to ground lightning here in Pasadena… that almost Never Happens… especially not in May.

    Whoah! Zot!

  126. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:04

    “WERE YOU THERE?!?” *guffaw guffaw*

    No, but I did read Live From Golgotha! which is a fucking DOCUMENTARY HELLO?!?!

  127. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:05

    What do you suppose that masculine fellow is listening to on those headphones?

    CANNON FIRE.

  128. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:05

    What do you suppose that masculine fellow is listening to on those headphones?

    Them’s jockstraps for your ears. Why there is no jockstraps for the eyes, I cannot say.

  129. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:08

    Thunder here in 35% humidity So Cal is tame. A bolt on the same block just goes *crack*… but I remember living in St Pete, FL in the 70′s, where 80% humidity was the norm… and a bolt on the same block would be **KABOOM** like a goddamn bomb went off.

    My sister is still traumatized.

  130. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:08

    Really, EST? I highly recommend DCT, dialectic behavior
    therapy. Not that I know anything about crushing depression, serotonin deficiency, neuronal plasticity and such.

  131. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:14

    She prefers THC therapy.

  132. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:17

    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

  133. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:18

    Looks a fun filled night of dodging thunderstorms between Dayton and Memphis. So I’ve got that to look forward to.

    Be safe, Major!

    Hey, when do you think you will be returning to NY? AFAF

  134. The Dark Avenger said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:27

    Here’s a series of illustrations from the beginning of Earth history to the Cenozoic era. The 7th from the bottom is a representation of the La Brea Tar Pits, complete with Teratoris, Smilodon and extinct North American horses. It’s one of my favorites.

    http://www.charlesrknight.com/FMNH.htm

  135. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:41

    Charles R. Knight is 57 varieties of awesome- his painting of two Dryptosaurs (originally Laelaps) fighting was incredibly ahead of its time.

    I am also partial to the work of Jay Matternes- I could stare at his gorgeous paintings for hours.

  136. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 4:55

    Looks a fun filled night of dodging thunderstorms between Dayton and Memphis. So I’ve got that to look forward to.

    To this I can attest, a big one should be hitting dayton in an hour, or two, it passed overhead with some fanfare about twenty minutes ago.

    The fish dinner oven style was awesome btw. Thanks pup, MK and others for a proper spin on things.

    Given that my primary knives were a ten inch serrated bread knife and a three and a half inch opinel, and cutting board was a couple of paper plates (don’t ask) I couldn’t have been happier with the result.

  137. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 5:31

    Given that my primary knives were a ten inch serrated bread knife and a three and a half inch opinel, and cutting board was a couple of paper plates (don’t ask) I couldn’t have been happier with the result.

    You, sir, are a mad genius! Happy birthday.

  138. Just Alison said,

    May 10, 2013 at 6:27

    Really, EST? I highly recommend DCT, dialectic behavior
    therapy. Not that I know anything about crushing depression, serotonin deficiency, neuronal plasticity and such.

    Well, the EST comment was half in jest, although half serious: I once knew someone who had almost incapacitating depression, and she had EST about every 2 or 3 years, and it does work.

    Haven’t heard of this DCT of which you speak, but all kinds of psychiatrists, therapists, and a variety of drugs did little to nothing in my case (aside from making me so sluggish in one case I was like the walking dead). Experts will all offer advice about getting plenty of exercise, healthy diet, etc., but the depression makes that impossible: instead, one opts for the more instant triggers like chocolate and alcohol, one of which releases serotonin while the other makes you pissed and a bit numb.

    She prefers THC therapy.

    Works sometimes, but mostly just makes me pass out, alas, due to generally low blood pressure. :-(

  139. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 10, 2013 at 6:28

    Really, EST? I highly recommend DCT, dialectic behavior
    therapy.

    I like pills. But everyone’s different. Some of the stupid advice people give you might actually be worthwhile.

  140. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 6:28

    I highly recommend DCT, dialectic behavior therapy.

    I’ve had CBT and DBT twice so far, and while I learned a lot, it’s not easy to implement what I know in an abstract way in my concrete life.

  141. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 10, 2013 at 6:45

    Merci OBS.

    You’re welcome, but really, we are all better off being educated about this shit. I have lots of very depressed people in my immediate family and the travails of an online comic have made me understand them better.

    That makes the intartrons a damn cool place.

    Well that and the random meme bullshit.

  142. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 6:55

    Works sometimes, but mostly just makes me pass out

    Makes me anxious… severely so… unless it’s old school Mexican brown shit. The new school hydro shit is just way too hinky.

  143. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 7:40

    Hey, when do you think you will be returning to NY? AFAF

    Not sure. My schedule is whatever my seniority # can hold on any given month. I’ll let you know if I’m headed back up that way.

    Wasn’t too getting to Memphis. Getting out of here in a couple hours is looking a bit sporty.

  144. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 11:24

    Good luck Major.

    Thanks for the kind words Bastard, next year I hope to make dinner with stone tools and fire with a couple of sticks.

    I love all of you lovelies.

    I hope Allie has turned a page, because she is brilliant, funny, insigtful, and draws the cutest freaking pictures on the intertrons. Any patron, denizen or lurker on this site should acquaint themselves with her work: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

  145. Provider_UNE™AndPlayersToBeHatedLater said,

    May 10, 2013 at 11:26

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

  146. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 10, 2013 at 14:35

    Wow. Uh, yayy corn?

    I have the incredibly good fortune to be a “normal”. Most of the times I have felt depressed, I knew why. I have had the rare bout or so of something that sounds a lot like what is described, but they are fleeting and transitory. Like maybe a couple hours. And far less frequent than say, allergy attacks. I can not comprehend what it would be like to feel like that day in and day out for any significant period of time.

    I guess I don’t have much to say here. These complex brains we have make up a large part of who we are. That they are such complicated things that behave in such strange ways is both amazing and terrifyingly horrible at the same time. It truly sucks that anyone would have to endure anything like that. Good luck to anyone struggling with it, I hope things turn around for you.

  147. Scarlett Johansonn said,

    May 10, 2013 at 15:30

    Um, okays it is then… alls I gots to add is I like to pretend to be Scarlett O’Hara. Have a nice day! But what about the night? We can do more betterer! :)

  148. Scarlett Johansonn said,

    May 10, 2013 at 15:31

    I am incensed that gay marriage is now legal. Just jokaliting. There is no such thing as a gay person. I mean, are you a boy or a girl? I gots gay marriageded once or twice.
    Sincerely, Me and me

  149. Suezboo said,

    May 10, 2013 at 15:36

    Oh, the mind, mind has mountains; cliffs of fall.
    Frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed.Hold them cheap
    May who ne’er hung there

    GM Hopkins (if I’m remembering correctly)

  150. Joyce Carol Oates said,

    May 10, 2013 at 16:26

    I woke up this morning feeling normal.

    What the hell is wrong with me?

  151. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 16:33

    I can not comprehend what it would be like to feel like that day in and day out for any significant period of time.

    Um, it kinda sucks.

    Especially the feeling Allie captures so well in the first blog post about feeling like a computer (or a robot, in my case) and just wishing you could switch yourself off and be stored in a box in the attic when you’re not obligated to do stuff.

    As opposed to the anger and frustration during my “high” phase that makes total strangers scared of me -I don’t know a bigger wussthan myself, and I’m a dedicated pacifist, but there you are.

  152. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:16

    My best friend has been struggling with depression for years, and lately it’s been worse. He’s been telling me he’s thinking of killing himself for days on end now. He just got out of a mental hospital but it didn’t do any good.

    I don’t know what to say to him. It’s like the dead-fish thing above—what’s the appropriate response? How can you say something positive without sounding like some dumbass Pollyanna?

  153. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:34

    I have lots of very depressed people in my immediate family and

    Maybe you’re a carrier of Depression Cooties?

    Yeah, like I could leave a straight line like that laying about, even if everything is spiders and there is no corn.

    …the travails of an online comic have made me understand them better.

    Hell, it made me understand me better. It is all highly accurate. Down to the yucky sweatshirt. The yucky sweatshirt made me cry tears of LOL and when I finished I made my husband read it. He did not laugh too much. (Non-depressed people – way too serious.)

    In my opinion the task of the non-spidery is to say “Shit that must suck.” (Because sometimes we really aren’t sure if it sucks. Perhaps we’re just being wusses because we suck.)

    AND

    “OK, you haven’t bathed and you smell/you just ate that cashier’s face for no reason. You need to get help,” (because a lot of times we won’t unless someone pokes us into a car and to a therapist*).

    And perhaps run interference? (“Hey Spouse of Shake, I was just coming by to ask Shake -” “Uh, no. She … uh… got her knees waxed and can’t talk to anyone just yet. Bye!”) Because sometimes we really just can’t deal with working out which face to use.

    *Doctor, nurse, CSW, rabbi, coven leader whatever.

  154. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:38

    what’s the appropriate response? How can you say something positive without sounding like some dumbass Pollyanna?

    OK, this sucks for you because what you will do next will likely destroy your friendship to save your friend.

    You will call whoever it takes to report that your friend is a suicide risk. If you know his doctor, call the doctor, or his therapist. Or the local suicide hotline. Someone in authority needs to know this so he can (here’s the suck part) be taken in for observation.

    Sorry, suicidal ideation is not something you should or can address.

    Good luck.

  155. PollyAnna said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:42

    I be the Real PollyAnna, yes, I be.
    Sincerely, Meredith Brookes

  156. PollyAnna said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:42

    Oh, do I ever have an ideation for you. :)

  157. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:46

    And it today’s it’s always projection news…

    None more projectiony.

  158. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:47

    Sorry, suicidal ideation is not something you should or can address.

    By which I mean there isn’t anything you can say to the person about it. Think of it as the mental equivalent of an open femoral artery.

    And about friend getting out of the hospital, the weird thing about depression is a person who is severely depressed is usually less of a danger to himself because you don’t have what it takes to put together a plan to kill yourself, much less carry it out. The treatment in the hospital may have lifted him enough to plan. So it isn’t that the treatment didn’t work, it did, it just didn’t work enough.

    Fucked up ain’t it?

  159. PollyAnna said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:47

    So, our goal for today is: can I get a five left to go please? What I ask of you is this: have I ever not achieved a goal or a deadline that I have set for myself? The answer is: no.
    So, five left by the end of the day it is then. Only five you know, mixed up little words nazis left it is then. :)
    Have a nice day!

  160. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:48

    Maybe you’re a carrier of Depression Cooties?

    How could I make people depressed, I have beer! Hmm, wait a second…

  161. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:57

    Hell, it made me understand me better. It is all highly accurate. Down to the yucky sweatshirt. The yucky sweatshirt made me cry tears of LOL and when I finished I made my husband read it. He did not laugh too much. (Non-depressed people – way too serious.)

    In my opinion the task of the non-spidery is to say “Shit that must suck.” (Because sometimes we really aren’t sure if it sucks. Perhaps we’re just being wusses because we suck.)

    AND

    “OK, you haven’t bathed and you smell/you just ate that cashier’s face for no reason. You need to get help,” (because a lot of times we won’t unless someone pokes us into a car and to a therapist*).

    And perhaps run interference? (“Hey Spouse of Shake, I was just coming by to ask Shake -” “Uh, no. She … uh… got her knees waxed and can’t talk to anyone just yet. Bye!”) Because sometimes we really just can’t deal with working out which face to use.

    *Doctor, nurse, CSW, rabbi, coven leader whatever

    a million times this…depression’s been with me all my life…i take drugs for it, i talk about it, i just try to get by with it…and it’s awful when you can’t care about anything at all…and you don’t care that you don’t care…what rilly sux is when you have a very public job and you have to decide which face to use myriad times in a day…

    anyhoo, on to ways i have been affronted in this thread…stop picking on fake scot guy! i love him! but his hawking of chemicals is problematic…but hey, it’s okay to fantasize right? our ground cover consists of mostly creeping charlie…dandylions are fine and hubbkf grows his own moss…and he’s a ginger…oh…hmmm…that’s interesting…

    also, sheephead or whatever we have here…i just remember youths catching them in the lake and then smacking them back into the water with baseball bats because yuck, who wants them…which is how i feel about all fish, so…all i know about them is that nobody wants to eat them and they have rocks in their heads…i do like to fish though…just the being on the lake and drinking beer parts of it…

  162. Thread Bear said,

    May 10, 2013 at 17:58

    How could I make people depressed, I have beer! Hmm, wait a second…

    Having beer is very uplifting. Having finished all the beer is very depressing.

  163. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:05

    what rilly sux is when you have a very public job and you have to decide which face to use myriad times in a day…

    What’s more fun is when you have Asperger’s and you don’t know which face to use to begin with and have just given up even trying.

    Which plays merry hell with one’s job history, even if one is “high functioning” and manages to drag his as to The Place Of Labor every day like a good prole.

  164. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:07

    BTW – thanks for the support, folks.

    which is something else I have trouble with.

  165. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:11

    What’s more fun is when you have Asperger’s and you don’t know which face to use to begin with and have just given up even trying.

    Which plays merry hell with one’s job history, even if one is “high functioning” and manages to drag his as to The Place Of Labor every day like a good prole

    can not imagine…

    BTW – thanks for the support, folks.

    which is something else I have trouble with

    me too…

  166. bughunter said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:18

    Timewaster of the day.

  167. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:26

    BTW – It took me a very long time to figure out that the sheep’s heads under discussion were in fact fish and not a case of a bad grammar plus head eating.

    Don’t judge me or I will set the spiders on you.

    (Am I the only one who wants t-shirts, many t-shirts with many different shots from that comic on it? At least one t-shirt for each day of the week would be the start of corntasticness.)

    How could I make people depressed, I have beer! Hmm, wait a second…

    Well sure. YOU have beer. What about the rest of us?

    I rest my case.

  168. PollyAnna said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:31

    It’s a good day to be alive! It’s a good day to be alive! :)

  169. Courntey Love said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:32

    Go on take everything/ take everything/ I dare you to…

  170. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:40

    OK, sorry one more thing. I realize I 1st came across H & 1/2 when I was researching pain charts. A link to her pain chart may or may not be included in a Very Serious Newsletter.

  171. Alethea Lara Work said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:45

    Um, come and get me. And also, and also… I fully demand it of alls you alls to cheer up a whole lot of a lot! I simply demand it of you.
    Is this a good day in our lives or is I what? Never mind last night for now, we’re moving forward, um, ever slowly but surely. I mean, I mean, what I’se trying to say, is, what day is it really?
    Sincerely, Cookie Monster <3

  172. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:46

    I came back down to earth with a thump. So much for floating! I was thrilled when I first heard the recording, then I listened to it a couple more times. What really happens is my teacher cuts me to ribbons, and leaves me bleeding on the floor. Shreds me into hamburger, and kicks the pieces around!
    Oh well, it was very, very nice while it lasted. And I remembered almost all the chords!

  173. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 18:51

    Why there is no jockstraps for the eyes, I cannot say.”

    I thought Google Glasses were going to fill that supporting role.

  174. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:03

    *sniff*

    *sniff sniff*

    Jockstraps! There’s jockstraps in here!

    Wait – I’ve said too much

  175. Chutney Love said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:23

    Nobody comes between me and my curry!

  176. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:26

    Cu-uh-ry, Curry, baby!

  177. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:28

    *sniff*

    *sniff sniff*

    There’s an app for that.

    Get it at detectsupport.com.

  178. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:36

    If anyone tries to use GGs as eye protectionI will have to be very, very, very angry indeed.

    THERE WILL BE SPIDERS.

  179. John Lemon said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:37

    Everybody’s got something to fry ‘cept for me and my monkfish……………….

  180. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:37

    (Am I the only one who wants t-shirts, many t-shirts with many different shots from that comic on it? At least one t-shirt for each day of the week would be the start of corntasticness.)

    oh, most def…i would wear anywhere from 1-3 shirts per day!

  181. Pere Ubu said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:45

    I have actually come to LIKE spiders.

    Jumping spiders are my favorite. They’re smart, cute, and usually very tiny.

  182. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:46

    this dude is pretty much the awesome in my book right now…

  183. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:56

    Gaaah spiders! Had a freaky acid trip in the 70s that involved spiders. It wasn’t a _bad_ trip but ever since then spiders freak me out. I shall thank you for NOT BRINGING ANY FUCKING SPIDERS IN HERE! Jockstraps though are fine. I _like_ jockstraps.

    Which reminds me, bbkf, a “basket” is what’s strapped in a jockstrap. “Bountiful basket” makes my naughty bits go all tingly.

  184. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:57

    Which reminds me, bbkf, a “basket” is what’s strapped in a jockstrap. “Bountiful basket” makes my naughty bits go all tingly.

    thank you for the first laff of my day :)

  185. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 19:57

    also, i agree with pup on spiders…icky!

  186. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:16

    Not a big fan of spiders but wasps and hornets play a larger role in my nightmares.

  187. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:17

    Wow, one of the first responders to the fertilizer plant explosion has been arrested for possessing a pipe bomb…

  188. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:19

    Wow, one of the first responders to the fertilizer plant explosion has been arrested for possessing a pipe bomb…

    That’s just his Wolverines!!! starter kit.

  189. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:22

    Spiders are awesome. Not like silverfish or centipedes, which are creepy little bastards.

  190. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:24

    Please refer to the link OBS provided upthread for an explanation of why spiders are funny. Sort of.

    OK, maybe you have to be clinically/chronically depressed to think they’re funny. ANYWAY I apologize to those of you who can not read the S word without getting the heebie jeebies. I assume you have never encountered a house centipede or a mottled stink bug because if you had you would know that S[thingies] are lovely and benign creatures by comparison.

    Especially jumping/wolf S[thingies] Which are furry and squeeeetastic.

  191. Havenot said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:26

    It is then. So it is so then. So it shall be then. And forevermore then. And Amen and again then. So sorry if you chose not to understand my little ole prayer.
    Sincerely, God <3

  192. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:28

    Nevermind all the nuclear missiles
    Leave that up to important officials
    Who can manufacture the press and
    Keep the peasants on anti-depressants
    Should they send their rockets a flyin’
    That’s one unique way to exit the world
    And if we’re curled up into a little ball
    Behind some thick lead walls
    We should be fine if we can survive
    The giant spiders!!!

  193. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:28

    “Gaaah spiders! Had a freaky acid trip in the 70s that involved spiders.”

    Everybody did. Frankly, I think the little eight-legged bastards took advantage of us. I bet they still laugh. “Hey eensy, and weeny, did I ever tell you about the time I sent that hippie to the psych ward? Those were the days! And the webs? They would stare at the webs for hours! Couldn’t get any privacy at all, but, they brought flies… Watcha doing up there in the water-spout?”

  194. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:29

    Mind you, thunderstorms rank pretty high on my list of nightmares.
    shudder

  195. Havenot said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:30

    I love you, love you, love you a-all/ more than li-ife/ more than li-ife/ more than anybody else!
    Sincerely, God ?

  196. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:30

    Confidential to Pere Ubu and other aficionados of the 8-legged critters that are known for web-spinning.

    Best Name Evar

  197. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:32

    “Wow, one of the first responders to the fertilizer plant explosion has been arrested for possessing a pipe bomb…”

    Uh, wait a minute, wasn’t there first a fire in the plant, then the responders came, and then it blew up? Wouldn’t it be nice if the owners were only responsible for the initial fire?

  198. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:32

    Not a big fan of spiders but wasps and hornets play a larger role in my nightmares.

    i know you won’t like hearing this, but my nightmares? cats…

    the s[thingie] reference in h & 1/2 is sooooooo apt, but spiders creep me out…as do most bugs, rodents and snakes…i almost died of horror every day when i lived in texas…

  199. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:35

    but my nightmares? cats…

    Would it help to know that my cat eats any spiders that come into the house?

  200. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:36

    At least spiders don’t steal dead fish from other hard-working birds, or completely deplete lakes of fish. Benjamin Franklin knew what he was talking about.

  201. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:41

    Uh, wait a minute, wasn’t there first a fire in the plant, then the responders came, and then it blew up? Wouldn’t it be nice if the owners were only responsible for the initial fire?

    They’re not saying it’s related at this point, just that he had an explosive device and they’re still investigating. Certainly makes one wonder, though.

  202. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:49

    “Don’t kill spiders! They eat bugs!”

    “They ARE bugs!”

  203. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:50

    And if jet engines suck in spiders (Who do fly, frequently) they don’t even notice. In fact there is a breed of spider which live on turbine blades, ( their prefered habitat is the second stage compressor.) They build webs which stretch from blade to blade, and capture any insect which comes through. I know it seems like a tough place to survive, but larger creatures than spiders manage it do it!

  204. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:52

    My cats eat stink bugs which is great because I dislike those grey fuckers intensely.

    As an added bonus they do so with a great deal of chomping, spitting out, sneezing and chop licking. I guess the stench is to them what hot sauce is to us. Hilarious to watch.

  205. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 20:53

    Oh, you’ve all seen the “man-gets-sucked-through-jet-engine-and-lives” video already anyway, so forget it. Jeez, what a freakin stretch, I better go eat something.

  206. Major Kong said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:17

    I had a hotel housekeeper (in Memphis of course) tell me that she was afraid of cats but liked pit bulls.

    Ohhhhhhhkay

  207. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:18

    At least spiders don’t steal dead fish from other hard-working birds, or completely deplete lakes of fish
    An extreme exaggeration of a kernel of truth.
    In other words,…HYPERBOLE!!!
    This Iggle slander must cease!

    …and to bbkf, I certainly meant no affronteration.
    In this particular part of the North we also refer to said fishes as “sheepshead”. The Drum linky contained this bit at the end of the initial description,

    …and is commonly known as sheephead or sheepshead in parts of Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States.

    and they are also considered a “trash fish” in this neck of the woods, although I never quite understood the appellation “trash” as used for any given critter.
    “Is not the first choice” does not equal “inedible” or “unpalatable”, as has been proven numerous times by certain friends and acquaintances who were forced by circumstances to make do with what was available. Carp, my dear Sadlies, is most assuredly a fine dish when prepared well.
    As for the human toothed, lump headed, briny variety, I had no knowledge of them until my first Florida fishing trip, and I was given many stink-eyes by my hosts when I declared unreservedly, “That ain’t no fuckin’ sheepshead, you fools!”
    …and why wouldn’t I? The bastards had already lost any credibility in my eyes when they called a big ass fuckin’ cockroach a “Palmetto Bug”.
    Harumph.

  208. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:23

    Would it help to know that my cat eats any spiders that come into the house?

    marginally…my nightmares consist of cats who are clawing my legs and will not stop…see what y’all can make of that…

    …and to bbkf, I certainly meant no affronteration.

    haha…that was only my bit of hyperbole…i blieve a sheephead/carp battle rages here as well with each specie having it’s admirers and detractors…which just goes to show…something…

  209. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:25

    …and fuck them giant centipedes too.
    Freakin’ evil bastards.

  210. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:31

    The bastards had already lost any credibility in my eyes when they called a big ass fuckin’ cockroach a “Palmetto Bug”.

    That’s just step one of the rebranding. Step 2 is calling them Palm crabs, step 3 is Jose’s palm crab shack bar and grill.

  211. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:32

    …and why wouldn’t I? The bastards had already lost any credibility in my eyes when they called a big ass fuckin’ cockroach a “Palmetto Bug”.
    Harumph.

    well, they are always trying to make things in the south sound better than what they actually are…which brings us back to the post’s topic…

  212. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:35

    anyhoo, on to ways i have been affronted in this thread…stop picking on fake scot guy! i love him! but his hawking of chemicals is problematic…but hey, it’s okay to fantasize right? our ground cover consists of mostly creeping charlie…dandylions are fine and hubbkf grows his own moss…and he’s a ginger…oh…hmmm…that’s interesting…

    Oddly enough, fake scot guy is apparently a real Scotsman. I just don’t like his chemical jihad against dandelions.

  213. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:38

    My cats eat stink bugs which is great because I dislike those grey fuckers intensely.

    There are fucktons of them in one of the buildings I work in. I love smashing the little perishers immensely.

    I guess the stench is to them what hot sauce is to us

    I actually like the way they smell when you smash them- it’s a weird cilantro/camphor blend. Then again, I like the smell of Vick’s Vap-O-Rub.

  214. El Manquécito said,

    May 10, 2013 at 21:48

    I don’t mind spiders much at all though these swamps are full of ‘em. There’s a kind of small wolf spider that responds to the blue diode head lamps, they blink a fast semaphore that you only see because the headlamp is so close to your eyes. Whether it is them flashing their eyes at you so you get the reflection off of their primitive retinas I haven’t figured out and I bet it’s not Morse code.

  215. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:06

    Thanks to BBBBBBBB I now know what Mottled Indoor Stink Bugs stink like and must say that it totally benign. It smells like certain kinds of hard plastic to me. (DON’T JUDGE ME.)

    You know what is going to fucking smell? The threatened brood of cicadas that I have somehow never witnessed but is supposedly as bad as Brood X which I have seen twice. (As in seen and been aware of.)

    Those things smell like liquified garbage when enough of them get squished.

    My only question is since they don’t come out until the ground gets warm enough and it has been an unusually cold spring and so they have been delayed, are they all going to pop out of the ground like toast out of a toaster because they’re running behind schedule? Because that would be pretty cool.

    Apologies to bugophobes who now hate me.

  216. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:20

    Oddly enough, fake scot guy is apparently a real Scotsman. I just don’t like his chemical jihad against dandelions.

    huh…i also had him pegged as a ringer…anyway, your intolerance to chemical warfare in the greening of amurika’s suburban lawns only goes to prove that you are the real racist…

    curious: as a lawn owner who has a shitton of dandelions each year, when are they best eating? i also need to get my nettles checked…to see if they really are edible nettles…you’ve linked to pics of them before, but also warned that some plants my look quite similar and i should double check with one who knows before consumption…

  217. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:28

    I guess the stench is to them what hot sauce is to us

    Can’t find the Far Side cartoon with the birds about to dig into their pizza when “Hey! Who ordered stink bugs on this!”

  218. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:30

    All parts of the dandelion are edible and have medicinal and culinary uses. It has long been used as a liver tonic and diuretic. In addition, the roots contain inulin and levulin, starchlike substances that may help balance blood sugar, as well as bitter taraxacin, which stimulates digestion. Dandelion roots can be harvested during any frost-free period of the year and eaten raw, steamed, or even dried, roasted and ground into a coffee substitute. The flowers are best known for their use in dandelion wine, but they also can be added to a salad, made into jellies or dipped in batter to make dandelion fritters. The leaves are rich in potassium, antioxidants, and vitamins A and C. Dandelion greens can be eaten raw, steamed, boiled, sautéed or braised. For use in salads, greens should be harvested from new plants while still small and tender, before the first flower emerges. Larger greens tend to be tougher and more bitter, and better suited for cooking.

    Read more: http://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food/dandelion-recipes.aspx#13682177789111&action=collapse_widget&id=9335504#ixzz2SvKx3K5L

  219. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:33

    Mr. Rich’s characteristically limp and emotive prose…”

    The chump meant ‘limpid’, but he’s too stupid to know the difference.

  220. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:37

    Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:30

    thank you!

  221. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:51

    “Mr. Rich’s characteristically limp and emotive prose…”

    i dunno…i found rich’s writing to be superior to that of williamson’s thinly veiled series of insults…but, wevs, d00d!

  222. Pupienus said,

    May 10, 2013 at 22:59

    HAHAHAHAHA

    That racist asshat who wrote the $6T immigration reform report – the same one who wrote about Hispanic incarceration rates on a white supremacist site – has been forced out of the Heritage Foundation. HAHAHAHAHA But that’s not why it’s funny. It’s HAHAHAHAHA funny because the Heritage Foundation fucked themselves big time. HAHAHAHA

  223. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:02

    The buds before the flowers open are my favorite part, I saute them as if they are mushrooms.

  224. tigris said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:04

    That racist asshat who wrote the $6T immigration reform report – the same one who wrote about Hispanic incarceration rates on a white supremacist site – has been forced out of the Heritage Foundation.

    Huh, he’s pretty damn dumb to be opining about other folks’ intelligence.

  225. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:05

    It’s HAHAHAHAHA funny because the Heritage Foundation fucked themselves big time. HAHAHAHA

    And come on, it’s not like they didn’t know. That’s the point of their immigration policy.

  226. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:09

    Limpid prose is a good thing! You want your prose to be, as Wodehouse said: “Limpid as damnit”

  227. Mooser said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:14

    “An extreme exaggeration of a kernel of truth.”

    A kernel? Ha! A four-star General of truth! A Seargent-Major of truth!

    Would you believe ‘a deserter of truth”? Deserters are shot at sunrise!

  228. Shakezula said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:19

    i also need to get my nettles checked

    Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

    Can’t find the Far Side cartoon with the birds about to dig into their pizza when “Hey! Who ordered stink bugs on this!”

    You don’t need to find it I can visualize it perfectly because I have no life.

  229. John the Nettle Checker said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:28

    May I be of any assistance?

  230. bbkf said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:30

    sometimes editing/proofing could be helpful…

  231. Smut Clyde said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:36

    BTW – It took me a very long time to figure out that the sheep’s heads under discussion were in fact fish and not a case of a bad grammar plus head eating.

    Pupienus probably has a recipe for that too. Part of Greek cuisine.

    but my nightmares? cats
    Perhaps it would help bbkf to know that in “The Big Time”, Fritz Leiber describes the Martian character as a combination of a Siamese cat and a spider.

  232. Smut Clyde said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:43

    Whether it is them flashing their eyes at you so you get the reflection off of their primitive retinas I haven’t figured out and I bet it’s not Morse code.

    Wolf spidra eyes have a way cool one-dimensional retina (more of a boomerang shape than a straight line). Muscles scan the retina back and forth across the focal plane of the lens at different speeds and orientations so that the eye picks up a big spike if the scene the spidra is looking at contains a couple of lines at the right place and angle, and then it’s dinner time.

  233. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:44

    Headcheese!

  234. Smut Clyde said,

    May 10, 2013 at 23:53

    It’s HAHAHAHAHA funny because the Heritage Foundation fucked themselves big time. HAHAHAHA

    To recap: Richwine was paid by AEI to do his dissertation about the genetic inferiority of Hispanics. AEI also provided him with four interns to do the actual research and help him with the write-up. He stepped straight from finishing his dissertation to employment at Heritage Foundation to dress the same material up as a ‘study’.
    And Heritage have only just realised that he’s a white supremacist shitweasel? Sure.

    Heritage distanced itself from his past statements, but stood by his work co-authoring a recent study
    They want to promote the opinions of a white supremacist, they just don’t want the smell of white supremacy on themselves.

  235. El Manquécito said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:06

    Dear tigris, Smut has been very productive today you can let him out of the box a day early.

  236. Smut Clyde said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:21

    Imma wondering why Harvard didn’t simply award the Doctorate in Bell-Curve Revivalism directly to AEI and cut out the middleman.

  237. Pupienus said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:36

    Imma wondering why Harvard didn’t simply award the Doctorate in Bell-Curve Revivalism directly to AEI and cut out the middleman.

    Because it’s stuck so far up Andrew Sullivan’s ass it’s lost forever.

  238. El Manquécito said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:40

    Richwine:

    “No one knows whether Hispanics will ever reach IQ parity with whites, but the prediction that new Hispanic immigrants will have low-IQ children and grandchildren is difficult to argue against.”

    Ay! No mames buey!

  239. LittlePig said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:40

    And it turns out what most folks (including myself until a few minutes ago) down here call a Palmetto Bug is actually an Oriental cockroach. When I read that true Palmetto Bug is a glossy black, I went, “uh, whut?” and found the refer to the Oriental cockroach. The picture of that big brown feller there was sadly too familiar to me.

    They are some durable bastards, and find boric acid a delicious snack. The best trap I’ve found for ‘em is to leave bacon grease out for a few days. Why it kills them I don’t know, though I expect they eat themselves to death (hey, if ya gotta go…)

  240. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:42

    The creepy crawly that used to bug me were earwigs, but I got over that when I realized that they didn’t pick that name for themselves and it was extremely unlikely that one would want to crawl into any bodily orifices. Well at least moderately unlikely.

  241. LittlePig said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:44

    I love finding those jumping spiders. They will fearlessly face a finger many times their size, and shuffle back and forth like wrestlers looking for a good hold.

  242. LittlePig said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:47

    Deserters are shot at sunrise!

    Isn’t living in a wasteland of land punishment enough?

  243. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 11, 2013 at 0:54

    One way to test the heritability of IQ among the poors is to have a control group of poors and then another group of poors and then you take all the money from that last group of poors.

  244. Mooser said,

    May 11, 2013 at 1:09

    “One way to test the heritability of IQ”

    It’s like the old song “Get Back” “If you’re white, it’s all right”
    Don’t remember anyone ever suggesting that white people’s lack of intelligence should effect their rights as citizens.

    You know what sickens me? That so many Americans who were asked only to lend a fractional, microscopic amount of good will to the process of civil rights, nothing more, refuse to give it, out of nothing more significant than petty resentment and misunderstanding.

    You know what enrages me? That a political party would sink to organising and exploiting this resentment and misunderstanding into a powerful political movement which sustains a major party. That that is all they’ve got, but it’s enough is really scary, too.

  245. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 11, 2013 at 1:13

    The best trap I’ve found for ‘em is to leave bacon grease out for a few days.

    NO!
    They can’t have my butter either.
    I needs my fat!
    All of it.

  246. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 11, 2013 at 1:14

    Best of both worlds

  247. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    May 11, 2013 at 1:17

    Also, too.

  248. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 11, 2013 at 2:08

    I didn’t say that.
    .

  249. Pupienus said,

    May 11, 2013 at 2:21

    You know what sickens me? That so many Americans who were asked only to lend a fractional, microscopic amount of good will to the process of civil rights, nothing more, refuse to give it, out of nothing more significant than petty resentment and misunderstanding.

    Relevant.

  250. wiley said,

    May 11, 2013 at 2:30

    On suicidal feelings, here is a perspective from someone who was forced into treatment.

    We need to speak openly about our suicidal feelings without fear of institutional reaction.

    I want to live in a world where we can talk openly about what happens to us, our feelings and our dreams, including the feelings we sometimes have of wanting to die. I might ask you to call me later, or stay at my house, I might ask you to give up the bottle of pills you have or I might even ask if you would feel safer in a hospital. But I won’t substitute listening to you for risk assessment, the false safety of forced confinement, or the reassuring belief in simple explanations and solutions. Suicidal feelings are among humanity’s worst forms of suffering: the response we give is a call to our greatest humanness.

    When I was in lock-down (wasn’t suicidal) a counselor responded to one of my questions by melodramatically asking me if I knew what it was like to be around a person who was suicidal. ‘Yes,’ I thought. The 606 TCS— don’t forget the fire-setting— and college. What you should not do around a suicidal person is walk around them like they’re a bomb that could go off at any minute, so that they have to deal with your affect on top of their own wretched feelings. It helps to listen without judging them or trying to get them to do something to make YOU feel better. It’s important not to be afraid of them.

    If someone is planning a suicide, then it’s time to express worry as a friend and the desire not to feel responsible for not preventing your friend’s suicide. I’ve spent the night with several people on different occasions that were feeling afraid of their own impulses, and once, a woman insisted on giving me a ride, then talked about her “son” being suicidal (of course, it was her that was suicidal) and asked me what I would tell him. I thought about it, then told her that I might tell him that life is a play, and don’t you want to see how it ends? It wouldn’t be the play without you. The end is inevitable, so why not stay until it’s natural end? She said she felt better. We wished each other well. I have no idea what she did after that, but to turn away from her question and call 911 would have been to abandon her when she desperately needed to feel meaningfully connected to someone who would express a desire for her to stay here.

    When someone gives such a trust to you, responding in deep sympathy and careful thought is far more loving than responding with “risk assessment, the false safety of forced confinement, or the reassuring belief in simple explanations and solutions.” A friend who is hurting, is hurting— not broken. If they want to go to a mental hospital, then take them. The chances that your friend doesn’t know that that’s an option are about nil, but if you want to ask them what they think of it, it might not be a good idea to ask as if you desperately want them to go so you can feel better and don’t have to deal with their despair anymore.

    Also, a lot of psychiatric drugs make people more likely to commit suicide. The suicide rate is getting very high in the U.S., and in the military even as anti-depressants are being passed out like aspirin. Putting too much faith in the mental health care system is evidence that you don’t know what’s going on with the mental health system. Their success rate is dismal.

  251. 'natch said,

    May 11, 2013 at 2:48

    Suicidal tendencies + heavily armed population = profit?
    In jolly ole england switching the “paracetamol” to blister packs led to a drop in suicide rates. We should put bullets in blister packs too, just spitball in here.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/783080.stmi

  252. Shakezula said,

    May 11, 2013 at 3:02

    That is a fuckton of responsibility to put on another human being and frankly, I think it is wrong. It is like someone coming up to me and saying “I think I’m having a heart attack.” Maybe they aren’t really having a heart attack. Maybe they don’t want me to call an ambulance.

    I will call a goddamned ambulance even if you loudly protest. Why? Because 1) You told me about it and 2) I don’t want to spend the rest of my life beating up on myself if you happen to croak. Shit, I’ve got enough fucked up stuff to deal with, I don’t need your corpse.

    So yes it is an individual’s choice to speak or not speak, or step in front of the train or stay on the platform. But you can’t control, you can’t possibly expect to control, how your confidant decides to react. That’s not friendship, that’s tyranny.

  253. Major Kong said,

    May 11, 2013 at 3:31

    I will call a goddamned ambulance even if you loudly protest

    That depends. Is he a pilot for my airline and is he senior to me? In that case I’m handing him a carton of cigarettes and a box of glazed donuts.

  254. Pupienus said,

    May 11, 2013 at 3:42

    You’re drivng? Let me buy you a drink.

  255. Pere Ubu said,

    May 11, 2013 at 3:56

    I think the mention of “I’m thinking about ending my life” is a guarded way of saying “do something to help me”. Especially for those of us who have a hard time asking for or accepting help to begin with.

  256. jim, in yr paradigm-base killing yr narrative-dudes said,

    May 11, 2013 at 4:16

    Lest we forget, Williamson is following in the grand tradition already established by such venerable political scholars as Jonah “Granola Is The Weinerschnitzel Of Liberal Fascism” Goldberg & Amity “Dirty Thirties Truther” Schlaes.

    Can’t rewrite Obama’s political bio or The Bush Follies convincingly without previously pretending that while the Left was pointing out their barbaric ways, conservatives in Germany, the UK & America were cheerleading (& bankrolling) the Nazis – or that FDR DID THE DEPRESSION WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

  257. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 11, 2013 at 5:13

    AGAIN with the KEWT!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1BUtr4ElcY&list=SPzvRx_johoA-YabI6FWcU-jL6nKA1Um-t
    .

  258. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 11, 2013 at 5:16

    Oh, and since you asked… here’s how my week ended. Just glad that thunderstorms did not cause me to take out additional life insurance.
    .

  259. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 11, 2013 at 7:17

    Yo, Sadlynaughts, let’s stuff the ballot box for zencomix.

  260. Smut Clyde said,

    May 11, 2013 at 12:30

    SPIDRA.

  261. Substance McGravitas said,

    May 11, 2013 at 16:37

    SPIDRA.

  262. Pere Ubu said,

    May 11, 2013 at 19:15

    On second thought, it’s not feeling empty that’s the problem.

    It’s being so tired of the only emotions you have being angry and frustrated that feeling nothing becomes preferable. Less tiring, and I’m already tired enough.

  263. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 11, 2013 at 20:29

    I think the mention of “I’m thinking about ending my life” is a guarded way of saying “do something to help me”. Especially for those of us who have a hard time asking for or accepting help to begin with.

    This is more or less the case. I had a pretty bad depressive episode back in early October of last year, where I’d just totally lost all sense of worth, that it felt that harming myself would either make the worthlessness stop, or cease what I felt was my parasitism upon people I cared about.

    Not entirely rational, I admit in retrospect, but at the time it felt the only logical pathway. But what I recognize now, as my family said they didn’t realize anything was wrong, that they didn’t think I was quite that bad, is that I’d gotten good enough at burying what I felt, and spurned help so often, that the only way to actually get help for myself at that stage was to break the wall I myself had put up.

    I had to say something like I was thinking about killing myself, because I was unable to just say “I cannot help myself anymore and it scares the shit out of me.”

  264. VCarlson said,

    May 11, 2013 at 20:44

    Oregon Beer Snob said,
    May 11, 2013 at 1:14

    Best of both worlds

    That just made me laugh! Which made my cats look at me very strangely (has it been that long since I laughed out loud?), then my older cat began to give me stinkeye (no, you will not find one of those costumes for me).

    And, bbkf, way way back upthread, my mom used to go fishing with pole, line, bobber, weight, no hook, because everyone leaves someone fishing alone, which was what she craved.

  265. J Neo Marvin said,

    May 11, 2013 at 21:10

    I thought about it, then told her that I might tell him that life is a play, and don’t you want to see how it ends?

    That’s good. When I was in that situation, I said something like “Well, you know, one of the signs of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. We’re all going to die eventually, so what’s the rush?” Probably wouldn’t work for a lot of people, but in this case she laughed, and is still with us some 15 years on.

  266. tigris said,

    May 11, 2013 at 21:30

    Man, the wrong people are suicidal in this world. Why do the sweet, fun, wonderful people here get depressed and feel unworthy and Paul Ryan, Dick Cheney, etc just keep on feeling great about themselves? Is it some sort of self-worth Dunning-Kruger?

  267. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    May 11, 2013 at 21:47

    Man, the wrong people are suicidal in this world. Why do the sweet, fun, wonderful people here get depressed and feel unworthy and Paul Ryan, Dick Cheney, etc just keep on feeling great about themselves? Is it some sort of self-worth Dunning-Kruger?

    I’d suggest, based purely on my experience, that it comes down to control. Paul Ryan and et al have a lot of control over a lot of people’s lives and livelihoods, so they don’t have to affirm that they have control of their own lives.

    I didn’t control much at all, but I could’ve controlled when I was going to die. Making a decision like “maybe I could drown myself” is, while bleak, at least some dictation of when and where I was going to die, and provides the illusion of control.

    At this stage, I understand feeling like that was really just the next-to-last step of utter powerlessness, but it’s very immediate at the time.

  268. Pere Ubu said,

    May 11, 2013 at 21:54

    Yes, well, when your life seems to be augering into the ground like it has some unholy tropism for the earth’s core, maybe you don’t want to stick around to see how gruesome it’s going to get.

  269. Major Kong said,

    May 11, 2013 at 22:00

    I’ve been on the road for a week so the cat wanted to play first thing when I got home.

    Me: Reach
    Cat: Ka-Claw!
    Me: Arrrrrgh! My wrist! Caaaaaaaaaat!

  270. suezboo said,

    May 11, 2013 at 22:53

    You know you’re really depressed when :
    Your last real pleasure is food but slicing a tomato or some cheese is too much work, so you just smear peanut butter on your sammich.

  271. Shakezula said,

    May 12, 2013 at 2:24

    Or, you stop eating.

    (Because the depressed brain is really fucking brillant at coming up with things that make shit worse.)

  272. james said,

    May 12, 2013 at 3:21

    Yes, well, when your life seems to be augering into the ground like it has some unholy tropism for the earth’s core, maybe you don’t want to stick around to see how gruesome it’s going to get.

  273. james said,

    May 12, 2013 at 3:21

    Or, you stop eating.

    (Because the depressed generic viagra brain is really fucking brillant at coming up with things that make shit worse.)

  274. tigris said,

    May 12, 2013 at 3:41

    “Can’t get it up? Let us help you by making you suicidally depressed!” Wow, that is going to sell the cheap generic viagra like arsenical hotcakes!

  275. jim, in yr paradigm-base killing yr narrative-dudes said,

    May 12, 2013 at 4:06

    I’ve got enough fucked up stuff to deal with, I don’t need your corpse.

    =

    Me at work every time CP brings their fucking failtrain into my post to switch boxcars.

    The piece de resistance of DERP – so far – was me finding a rail-grunt on the ramp having a smoke-break … whilst leaning over the railing directly above the massive propane tank that refuels forklifts.

  276. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 12, 2013 at 5:08

    The piece de resistance of DERP – so far – was me finding a rail-grunt on the ramp having a smoke-break … whilst leaning over the railing directly above the massive propane tank that refuels forklifts.

    No worries. Propane is heavier than air. :lol:
    .

  277. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    May 12, 2013 at 6:18

    The piece de resistance of DERP – so far – was me finding a rail-grunt on the ramp having a smoke-break … whilst leaning over the railing directly above the massive propane tank that refuels forklifts.

    A few years back, I went to the home of a friend of a friend for a 4th of July party. The host had obtained a bunch of fireworks in Connecticut so he could have a nice, illegal fireworks display. All of the ordnance was laid out on a table in the basement. The host’s drunkass cousin’s drunkass boyfriend was checking out the stock, lit cigarette in mouth. The host bellowed at him, “What the fuck are you doing smoking?” Drunkass boyfriend’s response was, “What’s the big deal? You smoke in the house.”

  278. minifuckinghaha said,

    May 12, 2013 at 17:34

    Big Bad Bald: what were you even doing at a 4th of July party – do you really believe in all that tea party crap?

  279. Major Kong said,

    May 12, 2013 at 17:54

    The piece de resistance of DERP – so far – was me finding a rail-grunt on the ramp having a smoke-break … whilst leaning over the railing directly above the massive propane tank that refuels forklifts.

    I had a KC-135 on static display at an airshow. It was a hot day so people would congregate under the wings to be in the shade – and smoke.

    Mind you the wings were full of thousands of gallons of highly explosive JP-4 and in the heat they were venting fuel.

    I finally had to post a guard around the plane to keep people from smoking under it.

  280. Mooser said,

    May 12, 2013 at 17:57

    “That depends. Is he a pilot for my airline and is he senior to me? In that case I’m handing him a carton of cigarettes and a box of glazed donuts.”

    Major Kong, I owe you, big-time. I’ve always suffered from fear of flying on airliners, and you just cured me!

  281. Mooser said,

    May 12, 2013 at 17:59

    “You’re drivng? Let me buy you a drink.”

    C’mon, Pup (if I may be so bowled) you know the only way to drive safely is leave no turn unstoned.

  282. Mooser said,

    May 12, 2013 at 18:02

    Farcebook

  283. Pupienus said,

    May 12, 2013 at 20:39

    I had a KC-135 on static display at an airshow. It was a hot day so people would congregate under the wings to be in the shade – and smoke.

    Mind you the wings were full of thousands of gallons of highly explosive JP-4 and in the heat they were venting fuel.

    Teh Ho and I were at an airshow …. oh yeah, it was a warbirds show at Corning / Elmira something like that. We were wandering around _near_ a something or other (think it was a very rare German aircraft) and had smokes going. Some huy says “hey! There’s extremely high octane fuel in these things!” As if on cue, Teh Ho and I replied in unison, “Well that’s a relief to know!” and took big drags on our cigs. He didn’t understand.

  284. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 12, 2013 at 23:03

    Elmira?

    I’ve been there. Don’t think I’m in a hurry to go back.
    ~

  285. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 0:23

    Not even to mention my name?

  286. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 13, 2013 at 1:40

    That racist asshat who wrote the $6T immigration reform report – the same one who wrote about Hispanic incarceration rates on a white supremacist site – has been forced out of the Heritage Foundation.

    Now DeMint has to decide whether to stick up for that report or throw it (and its writers) overboard. I don’t think this is what he thought he was signing up for when he took the job.

  287. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 13, 2013 at 1:45

    A few years back, I went to the home of a friend of a friend for a 4th of July party. The host had obtained a bunch of fireworks in Connecticut so he could have a nice, illegal fireworks display. All of the ordnance was laid out on a table in the basement. The host’s drunkass cousin’s drunkass boyfriend was checking out the stock, lit cigarette in mouth. The host bellowed at him, “What the fuck are you doing smoking?” Drunkass boyfriend’s response was, “What’s the big deal? You smoke in the house.”

    Years ago, I was visiting a friend during the Fourth of July in Colorado, which appears to have no restrictions of any kind on fireworks. We went to a fireworks shack and, as we were stocking up, I noticed a huge “NO SMOKING” sign. I pointed to it and asked the lady at the counter, “Is that really necessary?”

    “Oh, you bet,” she said. “This morning, I had a guy right here with a cigarette in his mouth. When I told him to put it out, he whipped it behind his back, like he was a little boy or something.”

    I could only stare, and mutter, “I sure hope he didn’t buy anything too strong.”

  288. Helmut Monotreme said,

    May 13, 2013 at 1:52

    (think it was a very rare German aircraft)

    If that very rare German plane was a ME-163 Komet,
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_Me_163
    the some guy was right to be alarmed and used the wrong words. Instead of extremely high octane, he should have said, poisonous, caustic, flammable, hypergolic and explosive.
    Which is why it probably wasn’t a Komet, or if it was, it probably wasn’t fueled. That particular plane has a number of failure modes, that are various shades of deadly. Both of the bipropellant fuels are nasty, whitch is why several planes were destroyed in fueling accidents, if the plane was safely fueled, on a takeoff, if the detachable landing gear separated at too low of an altitude, it could bounce back into the airplane, causing an explosion. The throttle-able rocket engine, sometimes just exploded in flight, and if there was fuel left in the tanks, it could ignite on landing. Lastly the plane landed on a retractable skid, with virtually no shock absorption, which could break the pilot’s back in a hard landing.

  289. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:20

    The fact is, the IRS recent attempt to punish the Tea Bag Party will not stand. We need to investigate and defend the IRS to preserve freedom, or at least make sure that they harass or deny any liberal applications at a 2 to 1 ration of partiotic to atone for sins.

  290. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:24

    nope, definitely not an ME-163. I know for a fact Ive never seen one in the sheet metal. Besides, all the planes there were flying. Imma bet no ME163 has been in the air for a loooooong time. I keep thinking Heinkels 111 but teh Wiki says there aint one in the US. ‘Course, this _was_ about 20 years ago and it could have been lost in the interim.

  291. Freedom Based Values said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:25

    That’s right Gary, the liberals have biased everything into a police state and we must make things right from tyranny using our God-given guns that Obama wants to take, from our cold dead hand! I pledge alleigiance to a flag, not a communist president!

  292. Tea Party Forever said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:26

    The worst thing about Obama, is the redistribution. This is sapping the ability of Ameirca to work hard and compete, when all those poor people will stay poor because they are paid to, like all the black women to have babies and they become gansters. This is traight out of an Alynsikitiye playbook.

  293. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:28

    The fact is, our government has not gone far too far, with Bengayzi and the IRS destroying partiots. We need to stop it all now, and the corruption, and the communism,

  294. Tea Party Forever said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:29

    Yeah, these liberals here dont get how angry we are about our freedoms being taken away, we will fight and die for our freedoms like the founders did, will you liberal dupes fight for your black Marxist God? We fight for real God.

  295. Freedom Based Values said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:30

    Yes indeed, make no mistake, liberals. You are the enemy. We wil restore our republic. You will be put into the same camps you were planning to put us in.

  296. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:38

    Apropos of nothing, Space Oddity sung by the Commander of the ISS.

  297. Major Kong said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:38

    Too bad for Gary I’m not the gun control kind of liberal.

  298. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:39

    FYWP
    http://youtube.com/#/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=KaOC9danxNo

  299. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:40

    Double FYWP and iPhone.

    Link at bottom of his post:
    http://emmgryner.com/emmbassy/?q=node/861

  300. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 2:47

    Err, this post. Whatever. Man I am out of practice.

  301. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:05

    Now DeMint has to decide whether to stick up for that report or throw it (and its writers) overboard.

    TPM has Heritage standing up for the report even as they refudiate the PhD thesis that serves as the report’s first draft.

  302. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:05

    Teh Ho sez it was indeed a Heinkels 111 and that it did crash. Might have been the only one of its type still flying at the time.

  303. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:10

    Bonus Richwine.

  304. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:19

    Bengayzi

    Fake Gary is trying too hard. Fake Gary is booooooorrrrrrring.

  305. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:20

    LEAFS SUCK are in a scoreless tie with the Bruins after two. They have to win or they’re done. DWK, you there?

  306. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:22

    I of course meant DKW.

  307. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:25

    Smut Clyde said

    FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE TURN OFF THAT FUCKING UNUSABLE WHATEVER IT IS YOUR BLAHG USES!!!!

    On a mobile, SCROLLING loads another goddamn page and it’s NOT FUCKING RESIZEABLE! A pox on you sir!

  308. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:44

    On a mobile, SCROLLING loads another goddamn page
    A mobile user? I say “Pshaw”. Also “Gelastic” and “flange”. We do not cater to you youngsters with your short attention spans and immediate gratification.

  309. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 3:51

    Well isn’t that just fadgetastic?

    I SAID GOOD DAY SIR.

  310. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:00

    Nope. I didn’t realize they made the post season until Game 3 (first home game).

  311. tigris said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:01

    Pupi is not a flange kind of guy.

  312. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:02

    That said, 2-0.

  313. Smut Clyde said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:13

    On a mobile, SCROLLING loads another goddamn page

    Imagine my unconcern for someone else’s software failures.

  314. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:15

    2-1. Leafs can still be eliminated tonight.

  315. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:17

    Final: LEAFS SUCK 2, Boston 1. Game 7 tomorrow night

  316. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:18

    Game Seven. Great. Win or lose, there will be rioting.

  317. Major Kong said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:19

    I thought Canadians were quiet, polite people who would never riot.

  318. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:25

    Well, “riot” in Canadian terms. It is only Round 1.

    Then again, Leafs fans. Grrrr. Looking forward to not seeing the. On my train ride home from the office.

  319. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:26

    FU iPhone.

    BTW, I may have even drinking.

  320. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:27

    Also too, forget the effing Leafs. They suck. Did anyone manage to click through to the Chris Hadfield video?

  321. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    May 13, 2013 at 4:32

    We fight for real God.

    Could you ululate when you say that, please?
    .

  322. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 13, 2013 at 5:13

    Pup. Max.—Spanish-built Merlin-engined copies of the He-111 were in service until 1973. 20 years ago a number of them might have still been flying, in airshows, anyway.

  323. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 13, 2013 at 8:30

    Woohoo! Go Wings! Go Leafssuck! I can pretend I’m 12 again!!

  324. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 13, 2013 at 8:32

    …and Gary Buttman can die a horrible death.

  325. Mooser said,

    May 13, 2013 at 18:33

    Well, it’s true. My generation does have a very short affection span. It’s always, wham, bam, and thank you, Mooser.

  326. Pupienus said,

    May 13, 2013 at 19:48

    Did I mention that SC is a heartless, uncaring, prick? Because he is and I thought it should be mentioned.

    flange

    Them’s fightin words.

  327. Spengler Dampniche said,

    May 14, 2013 at 2:36

    Am I crazy for wanting to click through? I really want to, but I’m afraid.

  328. S. cerevisiae said,

    May 14, 2013 at 3:42

    Leafs suck, leafs great, penguins, wings – none shall stand to the buzzsaw that is the Blackhawks. I’m a Wild fan and they are just too deep. They are going to roll over everyone.

  329. Packers the Easygoing Governor said,

    May 14, 2013 at 6:49

    They are going to roll over everyone.
    Never heard that before.

  330. rayan said,

    May 15, 2013 at 4:45

    Physical buy cheap viagra online symptoms such as chronic pain or a lingering illness can sometimes be the signal of depression.

  331. Jamieline said,

    May 15, 2013 at 6:13

    Become buy cheap viagra online her megadriller

  332. paperbagmarlys said,

    May 17, 2013 at 9:40

    . . . but, like most people, we just bottle that fury up deep down inside and take it out on the break room vending machine later. Not Kevin Williamson. Last night the National Review writer was in attendance at the marvelous new musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 when one theatergoer’s incessant cell phone use finally drove him over the edge… into vigilantism.

    . . . Williamson, who also writes a theater column for New Criterion, tells us. “They had been quite loud and obnoxious the entire time. There were two groups, one to the left and one to the right who were being loud and disruptive.”

    . . . According to Williamson, the woman then slapped him in the face and, after failing to find her phone, stormed out. Soon the show’s security director asked to “have a word” with Williamson, and they stepped out into the lobby. “I told him I would be happy to leave,” Williamson recalls. “They tried to keep me there. He said the lady was talking about filing charges. So I waited around for a bit, but it seemed to be taking a while. He did try to physically keep me in, and was standing in the door blocking me, telling me I couldn’t leave. I inquired as to whether he was a police officer and I was under arrest, and since I wasn’t, I left.”

    . . . I don’t want to suggest I’m Henry David Thoreau protesting the Mexican-American War, but I’ll do a day in jail if I have to.” . . .

    http://gothamist.com/2013/05/16/heroic_theatergoer_smashes_cell_pho.php

  333. paperbagmarlys said,

    May 18, 2013 at 21:21

    Mo’ Williamson . . .
    http://gothamist.com/2013/05/17/is_the_theatergoer_who_smashed_the.php

  334. le pliage longchamp said,

    June 14, 2013 at 9:36

    le pliage longchamp…

    Sadly, No!…

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