Mar
19

Simple Skittle-Throwing for Stupid People




Posted at 8:02 by Cerberus


Apparently it’s a good thing for the world when Jack Cashill is focused solely on Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Jack Cashill, American… No. Just no.:
Why Florida Persists in the Zimmerman Persecution

Because he shot and killed a child in cold blood.

That’s why he’s being prosecuted. Because he killed someone. Or more importantly because he’s been accused of killing someone. Cause that’s what happens when you’re accused of committing a crime.

For someone who spends so much of his time whining about how “having a few small questions about the Satanist plot to brainrape anyone who knows about Obama’s secret Kenyan abortion doctor birth certificate” doesn’t at all make him a racist, Jack Fuckwit here is not doing himself any favors by literally boggling at the concept that the legal system isn’t actually just for keeping the niggers and the faggots down.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • I’m selling a book, so please take the time to listen to my incredibly belated attempt at white-washing and dime-store legal ninjitsu on why Trayvon Martin actually used his tentacle mindrape powers to make Al Sharpton snipers take fire on poor huddled George Zimmerman before breaking out tiny Skittle bayonets and stabbing him over and over forcing the confused and harried Zimmerman to shoot an unarmed teenage boy.

And somehow, despite his Johnny-Reb-come-lately attempt to corner the KKK bookworm market, he still manages to find a way to be more offensive than the psychopaths who turned George Zimmerman into a cult conservative hero in the first place*.

I mean, this is how the post begins, for Bob’s sake:

Prodded by a president with a weakness for racial agitation and enabled by a politically complicit media, the State of Florida persists in a prosecution that can come to no good end.

Yes, somehow, Obama used the same time-traveling magical voodoo he uses to hide his True Birth Certificate and College Transcript from Satan University & Nursery in the Late Triassic Period, to totally force George Zimmerman to shoot a kid in cold blood and then convince the racist police force to try and ineptly cover it up and fail to even put on the show of an arrest and arraignment in blatantly illegal and corrupt fashion. Then he sent a psychic message to various unrelated civil rights organizations to totally invent various unrelated negative reactions among black people to the blatant racism and neo-lynching so that he could make an innocuous statement. Cause he knew damn well that that would totally trick conservatives into making themselves look every bit the racist psychopaths they are by rallying to the child murderer and sending said murderer huge amounts of money and acting like the real tragedy was that someone who killed someone else had to like explain in court why he did it. I mean, what if he can’t keep his lies straight in the courthouse? Then he might have had to like, pay, for his crime or something. Even though everyone knows that killing black people totally doesn’t count.

The defendant is neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman.

I like how Jack Cashill puts this here like some fucking badge of honor. Yes, George Zimmerman won a Yellow Pants of Honor for bravely holding the line against a schnauzer that looked cross-eyed at him. Truly, his belonging to a paranoid twitch-curtain faux-police-force designed around harassing youths makes him America’s True Hero! And yeah, no mention of how he kinda sorta, wasn’t even that, because he turned out to be too crazy for even that bunch of panty-sniffing wanna-be fascists.

The charge is the second-degree murder.

Which is already a bit of a giant win for His Lordship Captain Child Killer right there. There is no way in the cold reaches of Hell that a race-reversed situation would have resulted in anything less than first-degree (also a trial that would last about 3.5 picoseconds if it had even a fraction of the evidence acquired for this modern lynching). Conservatives are so far removed from experiencing actual oppression that they think not having your balls fondled lovingly enough is male genital mutilation.

The potential outcomes range from major injustice, if Zimmerman is convicted, to mayhem in the streets, if he’s acquitted.

Yes, I imagine that there will be some righteous fury if and sadly, probably, when he’s acquitted (given the actions of the local law enforcement so far and the additional pressure the shit-town judge will be under now that Zimmerman is considered an honorary conservative saint in addition to the relative of another judge).

And if it’s anything like the “mayhem” exhibited by the protests when said law enforcement was refusing to even ape the motions of a trial, then it’ll be infinitely better behaved than anything conservatives have ever thrown up to and including the Annual Hoverund three wheeled race and Tea Party barbeque.

And the state plods on as though the angels were on its side. They are not.

Yeah, seeing as how The State couldn’t have been more corruptly unwilling to prosecute if it was run by actual cartoon mobsters, I can pretty well guarantee they aren’t “on the side of angels”. Unless you mean on the side of “Angel Lips” Gambheri.

[Fictional Account of Trayvon Martin slaying redacted]

What follows is 1, 2, 3… 24! paragraphs of KKK revisionism trying to play armchair lawyer about as well as wingnuts have played armchair general or Cashill personally played armchair investigative journalist in his hunt for the Secret Obama Birth Certificate Conspiracy.

It hits the usual Cashill notes of accepting every single right-wing conspiracy as indisputable fact and discarding hard reported facts as “disproved rumors”. Because if you’ve only got one shtick, you might as well milk it until the cow keels over.

What’s impressive though is the attempt to spin that with the general wingnut conspiracy of Trayvon Martin, psychic Skittles assassin, leads him to numbering various witnesses into the double digits to try and discredit all the ones that sounded blackest (but not due to racism, oh no). Which just sort of underlines how there is no way in hell that a race-reversed or even a race-matching case with that many witnesses and that clear of a sign of intentional slaughter would not be done and dusted within microseconds.

But because Trayvon Martin was unlucky enough to be a black boy in a paranoid white suburbs home to a complete fuckwit like Zimmerman, he was murdered and his mother needed to fight with every ounce of her being just to have the fucker arrested. And since then, she has been receiving death threats and all the hatred that the South Will Rise Again crowd can throw at her for doing so and probably will decades after Zimmerman ducks out of doing anything more than a couple of hours of community service or a handful of years in rich white man prison.

And people like Jack Cashill, will be producing books and probably making a decent living preying on that pain and trying to make it worse because he can not stand that a black man he hates for totally not racist freakout reasons once empathized with her.

There’s no joke there. Jack Cashill is scum incarnate and his attempt to rewrite the Trayvon Martin killing is obscene to say the least. And in true wingnut fashion, the worst part of it is the Tigers in the comment jungles who are eating up every piece of red meat on offer and arguing over exactly which black stereotype that all black people must be like explains their ninja psionic powers.

And I don’t wish him ill-will because of it. In contrary, I hope he lives a long full life. So long that he watches as his racist little band of customers slowly die off and leave him alone. And just long enough to see the first biracial lesbian elected president. It’s more than he deserves.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Being oppressed by my main employer apparently makes me mean. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Which serves as one of the starkest examples of the hero gap between liberals and conservatives. Liberals often lionize people who performed great acts of bravery in standing up against oppression and bigotry, slowly moving the gears of history forward for the betterment of their people. Conservatives instead lionize murderers, terrorists, war criminals, and rapist cult members. People who, at the very least, performed evil acts that are only deniable by the truly delusional. Maybe if conservatives want us to stop viewing them as equatable to the dog shit left smeared on the front steps, they should stop applauding every travesty of justice and stop canonizing every penny-ante child murderer and tinpot dictator that comes their way.

106 Comments »

  1. bughunter said,

    March 19, 2013 at 9:16

    Cerb! How’s the good fight?

  2. bombscott said,

    March 19, 2013 at 9:44

    Nice use of ninja psionic powers!

  3. Cerberus said,

    March 19, 2013 at 9:58

    bughunter-

    Brutal. My workplace is pulling all sorts of head games and since I’ve started being perfect on the protocols, they’ve now attacked my teaching style directly, outright banning it and forcing me to teach subpar to the kids and ignore good solutions I already know (which really hits me hard). I tried to stand up for the kids and call them out on this shit, but they’ve just upped the mind fuckery and doubled down.

    Sorry everybody on the light posting. I’ll try to make sure that you all don’t get the short end of the stick while I’m dealing with all that.

    Fucking oppression, man. Fucking oppression.

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 19, 2013 at 11:55

    Cerb, that’s horrible. Are they still couching their mindfuckery in “concerned” condescending terms?

  5. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    March 19, 2013 at 12:28

    Hang in there Cerb, we’re all pulling for you. Also too, document document document. If things go pear shaped, you may want to be able to tell your side of the story. With evidence.

  6. Doctor Apocolypse said,

    March 19, 2013 at 13:12

    Cerebus for President!

    10% for snappy language use
    10% for terrifyingly unclouded vision
    80% for unedited AWSOME.

  7. Chyron HR said,

    March 19, 2013 at 13:24

    Does this mean they’ve given up on portraying Zimmerman as a “Democratic Hispanic Democrat Latino of the Democrat Party”? Guess they weren’t even fooling themselves this time.

  8. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 19, 2013 at 13:32

    Does this mean they’ve given up on portraying Zimmerman as a “Democratic Hispanic Democrat Latino of the Democrat Party”? Guess they weren’t even fooling themselves this time.

    I think they dropped that schtick because they admire what he did. They’ve gone beyond trying to tie him to the opposition, they’ve embraced him as a hero. In their shriveled, putrid, hateful hearts, Zimmerman “lived the dream” that most of them wouldn’t dare to utter to anyone.

  9. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 19, 2013 at 14:57

    In their shriveled, putrid, hateful hearts, Zimmerman “lived the dream” that most of them wouldn’t dare to utter to anyone.

    You got it.

    Hang in there Cerb, we’re pulling for you.

  10. Arakasi said,

    March 19, 2013 at 15:10

    I wonder how many of Zimmerman’s defenders realize that if Trayvon Martin had been armed, he could have legally shot and killed Zimmerman under the SYG law. I guess that it is too much to hope that their fantasy lives would acknowledge that they won’t necessarily be the best armed/best shot in any conflict.

  11. DAS said,

    March 19, 2013 at 15:49

    Arakasi, I’m not sure if Treyvon Martin shooting Zimmerman would have been covered under FL’s SYG law. Does anybody know of the racial breakdown of people who have been.exhonerated under SYG vs those who have not? Something tells me it’s significantly different than that of FL’s population at large.

  12. histrogeek said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:04

    I’m pretty sure the SYG laws are selectively enforced. I can’t see how they could be otherwise without homicide prosecutions dropping to near zero especially in an armed-camp state like Florida. The whole concept is incoherent legally but for the obvious subtext (barely even reaching “sub”) of people who are always “good guys” (and coincidentally white) and “bad guys” (coincidentally not white).

  13. histrogeek said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:15

    Literally yesterday so imbecile pro-gun moron was spouting off on my bus on the way home, chatting with the driver who even more terrifyingly seemed to agree with him. This was unusual as people on this bus rarely talk to anyone other than the person next to them and the engine is so loud, you can barely hear.
    Anyway pgm actually sounded like a return to the Wild West would be super-awesome, or maybe that some kind of deterrence existed in the Wild West. I can’t tell which since (a) neither is remotely true even in fiction (!) and (b) the red mist was rising and I was concentrating on not stabbing this moron and dumping his body onto the drive. There were many other dopey-ass NRA talking points, which he confidently proclaimed “No one is talking about…” As in “No one talks about how the Second Amendment was passed to make sure we could protect ourselves from oppressive governments.”
    Admire, if you can, the fractal level of wrongness in that statement. Every detail yield yet more wrongness. I never cease to be amazed that anyone can even do that, let alone pull it out deadpan and casually. It’s like watching someone endlessly and unconsciously tweet in haiku.

  14. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:36

    ….Zimmerman “lived the dream” that most of them wouldn’t dare to utter to anyone.

    This!!!

    Regardless* of his not exactly WhiteLikeUs status, the RepubliCons have now their very own Mumia

    *this could very well read “In spite of” or “Because of (because inclucivitude)

  15. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®☢☣ said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:41

    I wonder if wordpress will only keep a subset of ASCII. It tosses my biohazard and nuke signs after every comment but faithfully keeps my ampersand and trade semi-colon…

    /sigh

  16. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®☢☣ said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:56

    Admire, if you can, the fractal level of wrongness in that statement. Every detail yields yet more wrongness.

    I think we have discovered the MandleD&K*DudeBroSet™

    *short for Dunning & Kruger

  17. Chris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:08

    Why Florida Persists in the Zimmerman Persecution

    It’s oddly appropriate that he’s coming out with this chickenshitbullshit the same week as all that “poor rapists, such a promising career” stuff is in the media. Is there some sort of national Blame The Victims; The Guilty Are The True Heroes week going on that I’m not aware of?

  18. Chris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:10

    The defendant is neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman.

    You know who ELSE had a neighborhood watch?

    (And I’m sort of snarking, but not really, as this is in fact the real purpose they want their “well regulated militias” tasked to).

  19. tigris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:12

    Anyway pgm actually sounded like a return to the Wild West would be super-awesome, or maybe that some kind of deterrence existed in the Wild West.

    I’ve read that many towns made you turn your guns in at the town line, then returned them to you when you left, making the whole town a gun-free zone, and some just banned guns entirely in all or part of town. I’m surprised the gun nuts are for it but we could give it a try.

  20. Chris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:16

    Anyway pgm actually sounded like a return to the Wild West would be super-awesome

    It would be super awesome.

    The age when Wyatt Earp could clean up a town by prohibiting firearm carrying within the city limits? I’d be thrilled to go back to an age with that minimal amount of sanity.

    Or is that not what the dude meant?

  21. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:23

    Is there some sort of national Blame The Victims; The Guilty Are The True Heroes week going on that I’m not aware of?

    I think it was enshrined around the time when that liberal rag Time Magazine suggested that poppy Bush was a wimp. And it is a year, every year, and not a week.

  22. Chris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:23

    Arakasi, I’m not sure if Treyvon Martin shooting Zimmerman would have been covered under FL’s SYG law. Does anybody know of the racial breakdown of people who have been.exhonerated under SYG vs those who have not? Something tells me it’s significantly different than that of FL’s population at large.

    I’m actually not sure what the reaction would’ve been to that, because there’s also Zimmerman’s not-quite-white-like-us status at play.

    The impression I get is that the original reaction to the Martin shooting wasn’t “a white guy shot a black guy, FUCK YEAH!” so much as “oh, another dead black guy, who gives a shit.” The cops let him go not necessarily because they saw Zimmerman as “one of us” so much as they just didn’t want the hassle of prosecuting someone, regardless of skin color, for the death of an unperson. (Minority-on-white crime causes outrage, but minority-on-minority violence often just provokes a yawn and a “what do you expect, they’re all animals anyway.”)

    It’s only after liberals raised a stink about this indifference and the whole thing turned into a national news story that Zimmerman became a hero of the right, all the attention and all the liberal outrage being enough to turn him into an honorary White Conservative Star despite his not-totally-white status.

  23. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:50

    (And I’m sort of snarking, but not really, as this is in fact the real purpose they want their “well regulated militias” tasked to).

    Well duh. The reason the Second Amendment says “State,” not Country” is becase Patrick Henry and Geogre Mason (primarily) told Madison – who wrote the fucking thing – that Virginia would ratify ONLY if they were guaranteed their slave patrol militias.

  24. Helmut Monotreme said,

    March 19, 2013 at 17:59

    I wonder if wordpress will only keep a subset of ASCII. It tosses my biohazard and nuke signs after every comment but faithfully keeps my ampersand and trade semi-colon…

    Those little symbols show up fine for me.

  25. Pupienus said,

    March 19, 2013 at 18:21

    It aint WP, it’s your browser.

  26. N__B said,

    March 19, 2013 at 18:24

    Hey loony libs, what’s up?

    Oh wait…

    not having your balls fondled lovingly enough is male genital mutilation.

    I’m all in favor of male genitalia but mutating them seems excessive.

  27. Robert Kelley said,

    March 19, 2013 at 18:38

    Agree with almost everything except for the characterization of neighborhood watches as “panty-sniffing wannabee fascists.” In my city, a lot of neighborhood watches in predominantly black and Latino areas would be surprised.

  28. Major Kong said,

    March 19, 2013 at 19:10

    panty-sniffing wannabee fascists

    That sounds more like my condo association.

  29. El Manquecito said,

    March 19, 2013 at 19:31

    That sounds more like my condo association.

    Also found at your local golf/country club.

  30. DataSnake said,

    March 19, 2013 at 20:48

    Just wanna add, Cerb, good luck with the job situation. If I weren’t an atheis I’d be praying for you. And to echo what DKW said, document ALL the things. One on-the-record transphobic remark from those jackwagons could make a big difference.

  31. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 19, 2013 at 20:57

    It would take the media nearly two weeks to learn that their great white defendant was Hispanic and a registered Democrat at that, but by that time the train had long since left the station, and the railroading had irreversibly begun.

    Heavens! The media would never report scurrilous things about Democrats.

  32. Pupienus said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:00

    POOP.

  33. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:02

    This sign’s back up in my neighbourhood. Get it while it’s hot.

  34. Hogeye Grex said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:34

    I thought this was pretty funny, from teh GOS.

  35. N__B said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:53

    A prospective client just sent me an email where his sig is in Comic Sans. Should I still send him a proposal?

  36. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:55

    Yes. Put the proposal in Cocksure.

  37. tigris said,

    March 19, 2013 at 21:56

    Some Quebecois literature download site I was just on had a pdf of L’Etranger entirely in Comic Sans.

  38. Pupienus said,

    March 19, 2013 at 22:29

    A prospective client just sent me an email where his sig is in Comic Sans. Should I still send him a proposal?

    What a homewrecker!

  39. El Manquecito said,

    March 19, 2013 at 22:58

    Some Quebecois literature download site I was just on had a pdf of L’Etranger entirely in Comic Sans.

    Enough to make that feller knife somebody else.

  40. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:17

    Jack Cashill is working on his latest book, If I Had A Son: Race, Guns, and the Railroading of George Zimmerman.

    The problem is he’ll never be able to prove some OTHER right-wing idiot didn’t ghostwrite it.

  41. Smut Clyde said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:20

    This sign’s back up in my neighbourhood. Get it while it’s hot.

    There’ll be more.

  42. Smut Clyde said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:27

    but by that time the train had long since left the station, and the railroading had irreversibly begun.

    Meanwhile bloggers were stoking the fires until pressure built up and everything went off the rails.
    Then I lost my train of thought.

  43. Jeopardude said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:35

    The comments on this American “Thinker” post make me go sad sad. Many are going on and on about how how Martin had watermelon drink (NOT ICED TEA LIKE THE DAMN LYING MEDIA WOULD HAVE YOU THINK) and Skittles and these aremain ingredients in a crazy drug cocktail called Lean that the rappers rappity rap about and he was on his was to get really high and not to watch the NBA All-Star Game like THEM LYING MEDIAS want you to think. Of course the Skittles referenced is a slang term for cold tablets and the combo of candy Skiittles and Watermelon Fruit Juice is just for kids who think Jolly Ranchers aren’t disgustingly sweet enough, but black black black black black.

  44. Jeopardude said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:39

    I leave all typos in to keep it real.

  45. El Manquecito said,

    March 19, 2013 at 23:54

    Then I lost my train of thought.

    Casey Jones, run down to the station,
    Casey Jones, he had his orders in his hand,
    Casey Jones, looked down at his fireman he said
    We gonna run this turkey to the Promised Land

  46. Green Eagle said,

    March 20, 2013 at 0:58

    Just one minor point- Zimmerman was not a neighborhood watch captain nor was he even a member of the local neighborhood watch. This is just one more right wing lie among the many told in order to hide the fact that what he was was a person who had been out for weeks looking for a black guy to shoot, and finally found one.

  47. tensor said,

    March 20, 2013 at 1:08

    Other than the shooting death of an innocent young man, the part that bugs me most is calling Zimmerman a “block watch captain.” Zimmerman was a fraidy cat with a gun, who had called 9/11 dozens of times. A “block watch” is a community organization, and the captains of said watch know their neighborhood well. A *real* “block watch captain” would have known young Mr. Martin was visiting the neighborhood that day.

  48. tensor said,

    March 20, 2013 at 1:10

    And Green Eagle gets the job done better than me, whilst I’m still a-tappin at me iPhone. Good job, sir!

  49. El Manquecito said,

    March 20, 2013 at 1:30

    How about “aspiring delusional would-be vigilante”? Can we agree on that?

  50. RWW said,

    March 20, 2013 at 1:31

    When whitey exercises his Right to Keep and Bear Arms, blackety blacks exercise the Right to Bleed Out and Die. Where’s the Second Amendment defense for the scary ass Black Panther club-wielding voter intimidators? Clubs must not be a profit center for Firearms, Inc.

  51. Chris said,

    March 20, 2013 at 1:41

    How about “aspiring delusional would-be vigilante”? Can we agree on that?

    I kinda like “Brownshirt,” just because it’s shorter. But I’m not married to it.

  52. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    March 20, 2013 at 2:19

    Just one minor point. Cerb mentions Zimmerman’s dubious captaincy and links the great post at thegrio.

  53. tigris said,

    March 20, 2013 at 2:34

    According to this he was a member of the neighborhood watch, but the watch are allowed to patrol the neighborhood in that town. The ones who patrol are another group entirely and are actually trained by the police and required to drive a marked car and not carry a weapon.

  54. tigris said,

    March 20, 2013 at 2:34

    watch are NOT allowed, sheesh.

  55. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 20, 2013 at 3:09

    What a coincidence! It’s It’s Tabby Tuesday, and I haz!
    .

  56. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    March 20, 2013 at 3:17

    So! I got cussed rather well, today. Doesn’t matter, though. Fifteen days from now, muhfuh gonna have a backflow, or a new water dealer, one. Yeah, you go ahead and call the alderman… that dude put a backflow in at his junkyard, too. Good luck, and have a happy bite me!

    Also stumbled across two semi trailers today, parked next to a business in an out-of-the-way part of town. Probably nothing, but seeing as how they had RADIATION placards still affixed to them, I thought I ought to mention it to someone. Y’all will check that out, right?
    .

  57. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 20, 2013 at 3:32

    ☢ ☢

  58. S. cerevisiae said,

    March 20, 2013 at 4:40

    Probably just nuclear waste, nothing to worry about.

  59. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    March 20, 2013 at 5:42

    I smell a sitcom!

  60. g said,

    March 20, 2013 at 7:23

    This motherfucker is championing someone who – if you give the BEST interpretation of what happened – willfully and uncaringly decided to kill an innocent teenager based on nothing more than his paranoia and prejudice.

    That’s if you give George Zimmerman the benefit of the doubt.

    This motherfucker should be boiled in oil.

  61. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    March 20, 2013 at 9:29

    It would take the media nearly two weeks to learn that their great white defendant was Hispanic and a registered Democrat at that, but by that time the train had long since left the station, and the railroading had irreversibly begun.

    Does this asshole really think that, had Zimmerman’s background been known from the get-go, the media would have sympathized with him more?

  62. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    March 20, 2013 at 12:37

    It aint WP, it’s your browser

    Thanks Pup, Helmut, but do you cipher a couple of Question marks at 17:23 in place of the aforementioned symbols?

    Not one to blame a platform for my mistakes, and running a version of firefox fourteen point one on a recently updated debian variant, requires that I beg the question.

  63. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    March 20, 2013 at 12:39

    Also, too, previous comment shows question marks…And coincidentally a different time but with the same numbers jumbled around…

    /cue twilight zone music

  64. Pupienus ☢☢ said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:01

    Yep, question marks. Viewing the source, the TM and such show up but ?’s follow. Might be WP after all, handling things in the name field differently than comment fields. Time for a little experiment…

    I put two after my name. Here’s one in a comment: ☢

  65. Pupienus ?? said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:02

    And again.

  66. ☢☢☢ bitches said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:03

    Nope, it’s your browser. ☢

  67. ☢☢ said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:04

    Chrome.

  68. ?? said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:04

    And second time around….

  69. ☢☢ Safari said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:05

    And Safari.

  70. ?? Safari said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:06

    Second time around in Safari.

  71. Thread Bear said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:17

    We haven’t heard anything from Surber for a while, I believe he may have been arrested for soliciting a Minor.

  72. Pupienus said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:21

    I don’t know much about how this shit works. Interesting to see that viewing the source (using Opera) in the name field (class = ‘commentauthor’) the unicode character TM shows up as the unicode character. The trefoil appears not as the character but the unicode, ☢

    Wait – quick experiment…

  73. Pupienus said,

    March 20, 2013 at 17:24

    Wait – are you using HTML for the trade and copyright? And unicode for the trefoil probably? … I can’t find HTML for a trefoil. Seems we got our answer, sort of.

  74. Chris said,

    March 20, 2013 at 19:36

    It would take the media nearly two weeks to learn that their great white defendant was Hispanic and a registered Democrat at that, but by that time the train had long since left the station, and the railroading had irreversibly begun.

    Fairly sure the “Zimmerman was a Democrat” shit was debunked as a Fox News “fact” that never had anything behind it, not that it would really matter even if it were true.

  75. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 20, 2013 at 19:56

    ☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣
    ☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣☣

    ☣

  76. Pupienus said,

    March 20, 2013 at 19:57

    Tazmanian Devils?

  77. Pupienus said,

    March 20, 2013 at 21:22

    WTF?

    It was 15 miles away on Monday now it’s 160 miles away! They just built a huge facility in Troutdale for FedEx ground. You’d think they could figure out how to identify the packages that are already at their destination and cut the cost of sending packages destined for Portland from Portland to somewhere else then back to Portland.

  78. Major Kong said,

    March 20, 2013 at 21:38

    Don’t look at me Pup. I just drive the plane.

  79. Major Kong said,

    March 20, 2013 at 21:39

    Did you send it directly via FDX or through USPS Express Mail?

  80. Willy said,

    March 20, 2013 at 21:46

    Magnets Shippers! How do they work?

  81. Thread Bear said,

    March 20, 2013 at 22:12

    Maybe they just needed to send more stuff through Troutdale so they could justify building the huge new facility. It’s kind of like ten years after the war being all concerned about liberating the poor Iraqis in order to justify the war.

  82. Pupienus said,

    March 20, 2013 at 22:42

    I didn’t ship it, it’s coming to me. They shipped it FedEx ground, apparently. Equally apparently, all FedEx ground packages for the entire PNW go through the Troutdale facility. I’m thinking they do the final delivery via USPS? (Yay congref, kill the USPS some more!) And THAT happens in Seattle (Kent). And in a final apparency, FedEx has such a sweet deal with the USPS it’s worth it to ship from Portland to Kent and back again rather than just delivering Portland packages FROM Portland.

  83. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 20, 2013 at 22:54

     ☾∙☽☾∙☽
    ⋐  ⋓  ⋑
       ▔

  84. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    March 20, 2013 at 22:58

    histrogeek said,

    March 19, 2013 at 16:04 (kill)

    I’m pretty sure the SYG laws are selectively enforced. I can’t see how they could be otherwise without homicide prosecutions dropping to near zero especially in an armed-camp state like Florida. The whole concept is incoherent legally but for the obvious subtext (barely even reaching “sub”) of people who are always “good guys” (and coincidentally white) and “bad guys” (coincidentally not white).

    It’s really convenient that their hats are color-coded like that, huh?

  85. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    March 20, 2013 at 23:00

    I didn’t ship it, it’s coming to me. They shipped it FedEx ground, apparently. Equally apparently, all FedEx ground packages for the entire PNW go through the Troutdale facility. I’m thinking they do the final delivery via USPS? (Yay congref, kill the USPS some more!) And THAT happens in Seattle (Kent). And in a final apparency, FedEx has such a sweet deal with the USPS it’s worth it to ship from Portland to Kent and back again rather than just delivering Portland packages FROM Portland.

    For a long time all of Corvallis’ LOCAL mail went to the post office in Salem first and then back here. Took two or three days to get a local letter. We still have the same post office but now they handle local stuff, y’know, locally. I assume technology has improved or something.

  86. Mooser said,

    March 20, 2013 at 23:57

    “I assume technology has improved or something.”

    I wish, you wish, we all wish, the fact is, the earth is rapidly shrinking, reducing travel times. But nobody wants to face up to the consequences. The negative ones, I mean. It’s not all increased mileage and reduced shipping time. We all can’t live on a grapefruit, even if it is usually bigger than an orange.

  87. Major Kong said,

    March 21, 2013 at 0:12

    In rural areas, FedEx only delivers to the local Post Office. The USPS then makes the final delivery.

    In an urban area it should be delivered to the door via FedEx courier.

    I mentioned USPS Express Mail because we have a contract with the postal service. Most Express Mail actually gets shipped on our planes.

  88. Pupienus said,

    March 21, 2013 at 0:23

    That would explain the chicken-shit letters I get.

  89. Vince Smetana said,

    March 21, 2013 at 1:05

    You guys know Bruce Carroll from Gay Patriot is running for public office, right? I’m sure you guys can have fun with that one.

  90. Pupienus said,

    March 21, 2013 at 1:21

    Is he? Last I heard he was thinking about it but I can’t be arsed to keep up with the mad ravings of a ditzy queen like Brucie.

  91. Substance McGravitas said,

    March 21, 2013 at 1:35

    Last I saw was mid-April decision.

  92. Pupienus said,

    March 21, 2013 at 1:37

    Now that’s cool. http://www.npr.org/2013/03/08/173832177/can-you-make-sad-songs-sound-happy-and-vice-versa

  93. Major Kong said,

    March 21, 2013 at 2:28

    New diary:

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/03/20/1195507/-Iraq-Northern-Watch

  94. CRA said,

    March 21, 2013 at 3:12

    Now that’s cool. http://www.npr.org/2013/03/08/173832177/can-you-make-sad-songs-sound-happy-and-vice-versa

    I heard that segment, and enjoyed hearing the clips. But like the musicologist that was interviewed, I found the wonderment lacking.

    Changing the mode of a melody or chord sequence is elementary. We’ve all heard it done a million times. We just haven’t heard it done quite like that — we haven’t heard “Hey Jude” exactly the same but in some guy’s interpretation of major vs. minor. He made the same old decisions, but with new tech that allowed the whole to retain everything but some semitone slips.

  95. Pupienus Maximus said,

    March 21, 2013 at 4:30

    OK fine. *I* haven’t heard it done a million times. Not even several times.

    In return for your callous dismissal I shall make you all jealous.

    Goulash tomight. The way I learned to make it in Vienna. Shin beef (beef shank) cubed, dredged lightly in flour and sauteed in a heavy pot to a medium dark brown. Onions – same amount of onions as beef – get sliced and caramelized somewhat in the same pot. Also lots of garlic. Add tomato paste and cook it a bit to bring out the sweetness. Dump in spme beef broth and scrape to get up all the fond. Marjoram, caraway, and paprika. LOTS of parika – I use half Hungarian sweet and half Hungarian half-sharp. I added a soupçon of cayenne. Too. Return the beef and simmer for a couple hours. And Semmel Knödeln. Yum.

  96. CRA said,

    March 21, 2013 at 4:55

    I didn’t mean to be callous, Pupienus. You HAVE heard music shifting modes, just not THAT way. It’s a different experience, I got that. Nobody much has heard it, so I was wrong in an important sense that I won’t try to explain.

    Jealous, yeah. I just ate some grocery-store sushi.

  97. Gary Ruppert said,

    March 21, 2013 at 5:24

    The fact is, liberals worship death. They want biased media, and brainwashing in schools and let terrorists and foreners take over as well as enshring rights of gays and minorites over ours teh Ameircans.

  98. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    March 21, 2013 at 7:11

    The fact is, even fake Gary is phoning it in these days.

    I wonder if real Gary is reduced to suckling the public teat, or if the Koch keeps throbbing.

  99. Major Kong said,

    March 21, 2013 at 18:11

    The fact is, liberals worship death.

    We’re not the ones busy trying to hasten the apocalypse.

  100. Pupienus said,

    March 21, 2013 at 18:53

    We’re not the ones busy trying to hasten the apocalypse.

    Immanentizing the eschaton is not in our remit.

  101. Where Have You Been All My Life? said,

    March 21, 2013 at 20:35

    I think I love you.

  102. tigris said,

    March 22, 2013 at 0:43

    The fact is, liberals worship death.

    This does explain our deep, abiding love for guns.

  103. deadrat said,

    March 22, 2013 at 8:31

    Shouldn’t “Sadly, no” rants not themselves be candidates for “Sadly, no” rants? A couplea points here. No, neither Zimmerman nor someone in the race-reversed position would have been prosecuted for first-degree murder. There is little evidence of premeditation and none that would pass the test of beyond a reasonable doubt. No, the police were not corrupt. A detective wanted Zimmerman arrested and the local prosecutor overruled him. And no, the local prosecutor was not corrupt either. The real legal problem here is Florida’s stand-your-ground law, which is an effective shield for those who kill the only witness to the homicide. Thanks to ALEC and the brain-dead Florida legislature all it takes to legally kill someone is being in a place you’re allowed to occupy while not committing a crime but reasonably fearing for your life. Both Zimmerman and Martin were in a public place, and neither was committing a crime. All Martin was doing was carrying Skittles and iced tea. Zimmerman was following Martin, but that’s not a criminal act. Was Zimmerman in reasonable fear for his life? He’s the only witness, and his burden is preponderance of the evidence.

    The law is written so that if both had been armed and fired at each other resulting in a single death, then the survivor would be acquitted.

  104. Cokburger said,

    March 23, 2013 at 1:24

    Great post. Don’t let the bastards get you down Cerb.

  105. JayHobeSound said,

    April 4, 2013 at 4:53

    ‘Tampa Bay Times’ has a couple excellent reports on SYG stats:

    http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/article1233133.ece

    http://www.tampabay.com/stand-your-ground-law/data

  106. Sadly, No! » They Will Never Leave said,

    August 24, 2013 at 6:37

    [...] Remember when this clown tried to build a conspiracy theory about how it was wrong to even try to run a trial for George Zimmerman after he murdered a kid in cold blood. I do. [...]

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