“I know all about threats. They’ve come after me, they’ve audited my taxes, they’ve tried to besmirch my reputation, they’ve have tried to attack my character.” -John Fund doing his best Tommy Wiseau impersonation
Shorter John Superfund, Abominable Views:
Minimum Wage Equals Maximum Confusion
- The minimum wage is racist.
Yeah, I guess 30+ years after the Feudalistic Right sold everybody the fantasy that if we just hold our breaths and wish hard enough, we can all be lifted up on the 1%’s golden parachutes over the rising floodwaters, there’s not enough rhetoric in the world to make us swallow that horse chestnut one more time. As such, defenders of perpetual serfdom have had to get more creative to argue why workers should continue to get less than the living wage so that a handful of rich douchebags can buy another set of matching Lambourghinis with their record profits.
And who is better suited for creative fictions than a man willing to invent a fake campaign to self-promote himself?
According to boyfriend of the year, John Fund, since segregationists occasionally passed laws that benefited people in the name of hurting minorities (probably the only way you can get a conservative to pass a law that benefits another human being who isn’t a rich white douchebag), this somehow makes the Fair Labor Standards Act and all subsequent minimum wage laws triple Calvin Candie evil or something.
It’s time for conservatives to take the offense against the minimum wage, which has a sordid history rooted in the Jim Crow era. The nation’s first mandated wage floor came during the Great Depression in the form of the Davis-Bacon Act of 1931, which set permissible levels of compensation for any federally financed or assisted construction projects. The “prevailing wage” levels set by Davis-Bacon are, in effect, almost always union wage rates.
I suppose when this argument is appropriately laughed off the stage, John will follow it up by arguing that the mandatory sprinkler system laws passed in the wake of the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire were an attempt to block women from the workplace and therefore work safety laws are sexist.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I could spend hours on each of these lunatics’ bizarre and colorful pasts. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™