ABOVE: David French
Shorter David French, America’s Shittiest Website™
Libertines, Leftists, and Libertarians
- The gays are responsible for our national debt crisis.
A reader recently complained to the WaPo ombudsman that the WaPo was too nice to gays, that it even included stories about gay people (gasp!) dating. Instead, the reader whined, the WaPo should mention that Billy Graham and the Pope think that two gay men going out for pizza are both just one slice away from damnation and that dating gays eating pizza devalues pizza for normal straight people. When the ombudsman explained that it was only a matter of basic fairness and decency that the WaPo treated gay people like everyone else, well that prompted an outpouring of wingnut hysteria from the like of James Tarantoad at the White Street Journal and David French over at America’s Shittiest Website.™
Tarantoad merely huffs and puffs about the WaPo’s leftist liberal pansy-pandering bias. French, however, takes it to a new level, particularly over the ombudsman saying reporters are merely being libertarian when they treat gays like normal human beings and not the diseased, family-wrecking, drug-addled immoral perverts and pariahs that they are.
It’s astounding how many times liberals say “libertarian” when they really mean “libertine.” In reality, when it comes to sexual politics, the mindset is far more libertine and left than libertarian. They’re libertine when it comes to certain forms of self-indulgence (don’t tell me what I can do with my body!), but they’re leftist when it comes to the consequences (don’t make me bear the costs of my choices! I thought government is that thing we do together!). By contrast, the true libertarian may or may not be personally libertine, but they also do not believe someone else should be compelled to pay the costs of their behavior.
Yes, that’s the problem with gays. If you let them go on dates, they expect you to pay for their pizza. If you let them get married, they demand that the federal government pay for their big gay wedding cake, and their reception and honeymoon, and their cute little townhouse in Gayville. I mean, honestly, what the fuck is this guy talking about? Oh wait, obviously when gay people get married, the taxpayer has to pay for the cost of the marriage license, unlike the marriage licenses issued to straights which are paid for by the, er, same taxpayer. Nevermind.
Of course, the exorbitant demands of the gays that everyone else pay for their gayness, by picking up their their gay bar tabs and paying for their Lady Gaga music download is what is wrecking our economy
The sexually libertine leftist lays the groundwork for cultural and fiscal ruin.
No, really, he actually said that. Gays are to blame for the national debt, not the Congressional Republicans who fought two unnecessary wars on credit.
Subsidizing family destruction creates perverse incentives at the individual level, fosters ever-more destructive behavior, and consequently impairs our economic ability to continue the subsidy as we create a vast and growing pool of state dependents.
You see, when gays get married, they stop work so that they can stay home and fuck all day, then demand welfare benefits, and the next thing you know those millions of non-working, married gays on the dole have added another trillion dollars to the national debt.
Oh, and as the voting pool of dependents grows, reform is ever-more politically difficult.
The problem is not only that we let the gays marry but also, and even worse, we let them vote!
Well, that’s all for now. I’m off to the welfare office to pick up my gayfare check.