Feb
22

Smearrhic Victory




Posted at 21:14 by HTML Mencken

Shorter Jonathan S. Tobin
Commentardy
“Hagel’s Critics Are Still the Winners”

  • Though it appears the Hagel nomination will be confirmed by the Senate, we who opposed it are still winners for we showed the world that we can smear anyone as an anti-Semitic traitor and totally get away with it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Cf.

50 Comments »

  1. El Manquécito said,

    February 22, 2013 at 21:38

    Pagliaccio! Wait, wrong clown.

  2. smut clyde said,

    February 22, 2013 at 21:38

    You have to admire the Republican argument that “It would be unpatriotric to appoint Hagel as he would lack the credibility to function properly in such a crucial cabinet role, owing to the credibility-destroying lies we’ve been circulating about him.”
    http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/gop-senators-urge-obama-to-drop-hagel-nomination

  3. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 22, 2013 at 21:46

    It sure is weird that a secretary of defense of the US has to have the defense of Israel be his highest priority.

  4. LittlePig said,

    February 22, 2013 at 22:01

    we can smear anyone as an anti-Semitic traitor and totally get away with it.

    Wasn’t pointing that out how Hagel got in trouble in the first place?

  5. LittlePig said,

    February 22, 2013 at 22:03

    Chuck Hagel, immediately after being sworn in:

    “I guess I was wrong about that Jewish Lobby thing after all…”

  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 22, 2013 at 22:06

    The real hoot is that Hagel is a conservative Republican. The right really is in circular firing squad mode, mistakenly thinking that President Obama is hiding in the middle of the circle.

  7. Shakezula said,

    February 22, 2013 at 22:37

    Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

  8. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:07

    Hagel’s inevitable confirmation will be a source of great frustration to many Americans who were dismayed at the prospect of letting a man who had clearly demonstrated his incompetence at his confirmation hearing run the Pentagon.

    To me, the only “incompetence” he demonstrated was in not telling Ted Cruz, “Go fuck yourself, you snot-nosed little punk.”

  9. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:11

    Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

    I will steal that.

    There’s an interesting slapfight going on at The Corner right now. This might be the fuel.

    Mark Krikorian says they’re Mexicans and Muslims, big whoop.

    John O’Sullivan:

    Nor need you hire a researcher to uncover what they think. Mark writes regularly for the Corner. When were you last horrified or outraged by him? My guess is never.

    There was this…

    Mario Lopez is returning fire.

  10. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:27

    Immigration is a natural fissure for the great conservative coalition. The greedheads want more of it, the rednecks want it stopped. Pass the popcorn.

  11. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:30

    Smearrhic Victory

    I like it, but certainly “Schmearrhic” would’ve been more Jewriffic. Jewtastic even.

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:30

    The greedheads want more of it, the rednecks want it stopped. Pass the popcorn.

    What all of them have to do is pretend it’s not about race, so Lopez tars the hawks as Malthusians.

  13. Shakezula said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:39

    The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth…

    Dear fucking God. I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe …

    But the flyer Lopez distributed at Grover’s meeting was actually produced by the leftist National Immigration Forum (it says so on the flip side), an open-borders umbrella group funded by the Ford Foundation and George Soros.

    Still with the George Soros SKREEE! What will these sorry sons of bitches do when the man dies? Blame his ghost? Shitards.

  14. Whale Chowder said,

    February 22, 2013 at 23:49

    Shitards.

    There’s nothing worse than being hoist on your own shitard.

  15. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:06

    The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth…

    When there is nothing left to eat but windblown sand, assholes like him will still be telling us overpopulation is a myth.

  16. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:12

    Or MOIST on your own shitard.

  17. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:21

    What will these sorry sons of bitches do when the man dies? Blame his ghost? Shitards.

    They blamed ACORN for Romney’s 2012 fail. So, yeah.

  18. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:25

    When there is nothing left to eat but windblown sand, assholes like him will still be telling us overpopulation is a myth.

    I suspect climate change and population explosion deniers will be converted into a protein source well before the windblown sand stage.

    [Goes back to sharpening Henckels]

  19. Smut Clyde said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:27

    The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth

    Anyone propagating a Vatican talking point is in no position to describe other viewpoints as “myth”.

  20. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:40

    Speaking of the Vatican, who thinks Mahony might stay in Rome after he helps choose a pope?

  21. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:41

    The fact is Senator Graham’s opposition to Obama’s nomination of a known Hammas supporter has shown the Heartland that Lindsay’s poof is incontrovertable. Suck it libs!

  22. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:48

    I will NOT suck Lindsey’s poof.

  23. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2013 at 0:59

    The fact is, I like hummus.

  24. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:08

    that Lindsay’s a poof is incontrovertable.

    Agreed!

  25. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:14

    The fact is, I like hummus.

    I dare say, I make pretty mean hummus.

  26. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:21

    I suspect climate change and population explosion deniers will be converted into a protein source well before the windblown sand stage.

    mmmmmmmmmm…long pig….

  27. long pig said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:27

    mmmmmmmmmm…hummus….

  28. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:31

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    Volare ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Ella Fitzgerald
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    Uptown |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Crystals
    Heveynu Sholem Aleijem ||||||||||||||| The Barry Sisters
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    Dream Weaver ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Gary Wright
    Spiderwebs |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| No Doubt
    Past in Present |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Feist
    Demirep |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Bikini Kill
    Burned By The Sun ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Beulah
    Something To Brag About | George Jones and Tammy Wynette
    O Katrina! |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Black Lips
    Intermezzo ||||||||||||||||||||| Angèle Dubeau & La Piet
    Bootylicious ||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Destiny's Child
    I'm The Urban Spaceman |||||||||||||| The Bonzo Dog Band

  29. Jennifer said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:56

    No, we’re the winners, because Hagel is getting confirmed, which generates wingnut tears, and all wingnut tears are sweet as nectar. That would be enough, but they sweetened the tears even more: as a bonus, we all got to hear about Ben Shapiro stepping on his own dick making a fool of himself yet again. The best line is at about 2:40 in the clip.

  30. Bubble Salesman said,

    February 23, 2013 at 1:57

    Well Jonnie, we have a special manufacturing process that keeps our prices low.

    Dime a dozen for as many as you can afford.

    Enjoy!

  31. gocart mozart said,

    February 23, 2013 at 2:09

    Did the pope resign because of a sex scandal?

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/22/priests-in-panties.html

  32. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2013 at 2:10

    Shouldn’t he have resigned because of a sex scandal?

  33. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 23, 2013 at 2:14

    Oh man, some one please tell me that A.J. Slater isn’t a right-wing nutbag. I don’t think my heart can take it after finding out Lark Voorhes is crippled by OCD.

  34. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2013 at 2:47

    Why does a Pope always answer a question with a question?

  35. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:05

    Why does a Pope always answer a question with a question?

    Because he shits in the woods?

  36. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:08

    Oh man, the Tweezers Shapiro failcapades are dangerously hilarious. And possibly the tipping point in Hagel’s confirmation.

    Thanks Ben!

    “This sort of thing drives me crazy because it undermines legitimate concerns about Sen. Hagel, his views and financial associations,” said a Senate Republican aide involved with the anti-Hagel efforts. “In this business we deal in facts or the pursuit of facts and making up groups like the Friends of Hamas distracts us from legitimate questions as to what private foreign foundations and wealthy foreign individuals are contributing to the Atlantic Council or investing in Sen. Hagel’s firms.”

    Ow, my sides!

  37. Pope in the Woods said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:09

    Oh, if there is a God, give me a sign.

  38. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:14

    Why does a Pupe always answer a question about a Pope with a purple people eater and……………….

    I’ll come in again.

  39. Bear in the Pope said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:15

    Shit

  40. Cerberus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:20

    Shoot, I accidentally stomped on this post with my new post. Sorry, HTML Mencken.

  41. HTML Mencken said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:38

    Cerberus, this post has been up for several hours. It’s tired and wanted relief. Any new post, any time, is a good thing. We’re cool.

  42. rosebuddear said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:40

    Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

    Ooh, Shakezuela, I am so stealing that. With your kind permission of course.

    Awesome. And from comments, looks like, not just me will steal that.

    You have started a great Internet meme.

  43. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:03

    As a good little ObamaMooslimSochulustFemiNazi, I do not believe in property,* therefore it is impossible for you to steal my words because my words are in fact your words. Please use them in the name of the coming slaughter of WhiteyCapitalistChristanPigDogs.

    That applies twice over for anyone with photoshop skills. (Hint.)

    *Well, not my records and books. Touch those and I kill you deader the space between Palin’s ears. And cast not a covetous glance at my fabric, beads and various sewing/crafting supplies. Other than that, what is mine, is yours.

  44. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:45

    that Lindsay’s poof is incontrovertable.

    That’s the best Fake Gary I’ve seen in some time.

  45. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:49

    Come on. You’ve got to admit that Hagel’s judgement is seriously in question due to his political associations. After all, he spent all those years as a Republican.

  46. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:49

    Shouldn’t he have resigned because of a sex scandal?

    Yeah, but that was KIDS, which is OK, this one’s ADULTS, which is NOT.

    Shakezula said,
    February 23, 2013 at 4:03

    Ooooo, CRAFTY STUFF!

  47. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:50

    After all, he spent all those years as a Republican.

    OMG, “Friends of Ham-Ass!”

  48. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 23, 2013 at 7:01

    Silver platters yesterday, silver platters tomorrow, silver platters FOREVAR!

  49. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:22

    Also too:

    “Smearrhic Victory” <==== NAILS THIS SPECTACLE OF DERPAZOID UGLINESS LIKE A BOSS

  50. Howlin Wolfe said,

    February 26, 2013 at 0:30

    Hey now Gary Ruppert! I controverted his poof just the other day! Suck it cherself!

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