Is there even anyone left alive who still reads this shit rag?
George Will, The Washington Post Ain’t What it Used to be:
State of the Union Nonsense
One of the many interesting mutations to develop in the radiation treatment that was this last election was how the various denizens of Wingnuttopia decided to handle their various fuckups with regards to pomp and circumstance.
Specifically, whenever they managed to fuck up something like a debate or a convention, there was suddenly an outpouring of paid hacks to argue that said debates or conventions shouldn’t have ever existed because of the “no fair beating us on our style game, you big poopyheads” rule. Now, some may recognize this approach from their middle school days when some friend of theirs responded to not making the football team or not getting together with a romantic interest by pretending they never even wanted to in the first place and besides the expectations that they should do X type activities is a bunch of bullshit.
Well, luckily for all of us who wanted to live those halcyon days (i.e. literally no one), the right wing are deciding to make it part of their standard response set to what will surely be a long line of failure.
First up for the treatment in the new year is the State of the Union.
Once a proud moment for making a bunch of Democrats stand up and clap for literal Crusades (or else they’re traitors), now it’s being sullied by a certain “hue” in the president, a certain competence in his speech-making, and a certain incompetence in the various farm-level southern non-white talent that they keep sending to be slaughtered in the responses.
And George Will, writing for the tattered remains of the Washington Post’s value as low-grade toilet paper, for one, is not going to stand for it any more.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- The State of the Union (in general) is stupid and you’re stupid for liking it!
Now of course, this being George Will, even when he’s just saying this, he can’t just say that. So instead we get a laconic perusal of Ye Old Thesaurus for Dunning-Kruger Windbags so we can all be sure that this 3-year old tantrum was arrived at only after the most careful of intellectual musings over old volumes of Kantian lore.
Take for instance:
In the 12 months we have to steel ourselves for the next State of the Union spectacle, let us count the ways that this spawn of democratic Caesarism — presidency worship — has become grotesque. It would be the most embarrassing ceremony in the nation’s civic liturgy, were the nation still capable of being embarrassed by its puerile faith in presidential magic.
See? Yes, this spawn of democratic Caesarism, worshipping the President as a God, is a disgusting ahistorical atrocity ever since that guy we don’t want to admit was president stopped doing that thing we never talk about. I mean, why do we even have a State of the Union, it’s not like it’s in the Constitution, that most hallowed of documents that none shall ever dare question or amend-
The Constitution laconically requires only that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.”
Well… you see… that is to say…
Nothing requires “from time to time” to be construed as “every damn year.”
Ha! See! Forget that fogey old “centuries of tradition”. And besides, what right do we filthy peasant types have knowing that type of information all the time? Our rightful God-Kings should only inform us of their business when they damn well feel like it!
Informing and recommending need not involve today’s tawdry ritual of wishful thinking by presidents unhinged from political reality and histrionics by their audiences. And must we be annually reminded that all presidents think that everything they want is “necessary and expedient”?
Oh this is just the setup. You want to know how much Obama’s speech hurt the Republicans? And how badly hacks like Will want it to just have gone away?
Some of the blame for this yearly night of nonsense goes to Ronald Reagan.
Yeah, so much that Will was willing to take a baseball bat to the all-sainted, all-holy, Reaganus Maximus the First. And here I was stupidly thinking that it was a pretty speech and nothing more.
From here, George Will continues on a further rant about the kids today and their hippity hops and States of the Unions and Republicans never having to know about the existence of things that make them look bad, but really nothing could possibly top this.
Obama’s 2013 State of the Union address was enough to make George Will criticize Reagan. I suspect things are just going to get weirder and weirder as we continue into 2013 and the wingnuts slowly deal with a world they are becoming increasingly irrelevant to.