Feb
23

Tantrum Full of Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing




Posted at 3:19 by Cerberus


Is there even anyone left alive who still reads this shit rag?

George Will, The Washington Post Ain’t What it Used to be:
State of the Union Nonsense

One of the many interesting mutations to develop in the radiation treatment that was this last election was how the various denizens of Wingnuttopia decided to handle their various fuckups with regards to pomp and circumstance.

Specifically, whenever they managed to fuck up something like a debate or a convention, there was suddenly an outpouring of paid hacks to argue that said debates or conventions shouldn’t have ever existed because of the “no fair beating us on our style game, you big poopyheads” rule. Now, some may recognize this approach from their middle school days when some friend of theirs responded to not making the football team or not getting together with a romantic interest by pretending they never even wanted to in the first place and besides the expectations that they should do X type activities is a bunch of bullshit.

Well, luckily for all of us who wanted to live those halcyon days (i.e. literally no one), the right wing are deciding to make it part of their standard response set to what will surely be a long line of failure.

First up for the treatment in the new year is the State of the Union.

Once a proud moment for making a bunch of Democrats stand up and clap for literal Crusades (or else they’re traitors), now it’s being sullied by a certain “hue” in the president, a certain competence in his speech-making, and a certain incompetence in the various farm-level southern non-white talent that they keep sending to be slaughtered in the responses.

And George Will, writing for the tattered remains of the Washington Post’s value as low-grade toilet paper, for one, is not going to stand for it any more.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • The State of the Union (in general) is stupid and you’re stupid for liking it!

Now of course, this being George Will, even when he’s just saying this, he can’t just say that. So instead we get a laconic perusal of Ye Old Thesaurus for Dunning-Kruger Windbags so we can all be sure that this 3-year old tantrum was arrived at only after the most careful of intellectual musings over old volumes of Kantian lore.

Take for instance:

In the 12 months we have to steel ourselves for the next State of the Union spectacle, let us count the ways that this spawn of democratic Caesarism — presidency worship — has become grotesque. It would be the most embarrassing ceremony in the nation’s civic liturgy, were the nation still capable of being embarrassed by its puerile faith in presidential magic.

See? Yes, this spawn of democratic Caesarism, worshipping the President as a God, is a disgusting ahistorical atrocity ever since that guy we don’t want to admit was president stopped doing that thing we never talk about. I mean, why do we even have a State of the Union, it’s not like it’s in the Constitution, that most hallowed of documents that none shall ever dare question or amend-

The Constitution laconically requires only that the president “shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the state of the union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.”

Ah.

Well… you see… that is to say…

Nothing requires “from time to time” to be construed as “every damn year.”

Ha! See! Forget that fogey old “centuries of tradition”. And besides, what right do we filthy peasant types have knowing that type of information all the time? Our rightful God-Kings should only inform us of their business when they damn well feel like it!

Informing and recommending need not involve today’s tawdry ritual of wishful thinking by presidents unhinged from political reality and histrionics by their audiences. And must we be annually reminded that all presidents think that everything they want is “necessary and expedient”?

Oh this is just the setup. You want to know how much Obama’s speech hurt the Republicans? And how badly hacks like Will want it to just have gone away?

Some of the blame for this yearly night of nonsense goes to Ronald Reagan.

This much.

Yeah, so much that Will was willing to take a baseball bat to the all-sainted, all-holy, Reaganus Maximus the First. And here I was stupidly thinking that it was a pretty speech and nothing more.

From here, George Will continues on a further rant about the kids today and their hippity hops and States of the Unions and Republicans never having to know about the existence of things that make them look bad, but really nothing could possibly top this.

Obama’s 2013 State of the Union address was enough to make George Will criticize Reagan. I suspect things are just going to get weirder and weirder as we continue into 2013 and the wingnuts slowly deal with a world they are becoming increasingly irrelevant to.

190 Comments »

  1. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:32

    Pope!

  2. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:32

    A bear and the pope were taking a shit in the woods…
    .

  3. Pope George the 2013 said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:45

    Will I shit in the woods?

  4. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:45

    “Does shit stick to your vestments?”

    “No.”

    So the bear picked up the pope, and wiped his ass with him.
    .

  5. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:50

    Mind you, I *choke* more or less agree that the SOTU is usually a pointless ritual
    that could easily be done away with unless something really important is going on.
    But you gotta wonder, where were the complaints about “presidency worship” back when a certain draft dodger strutted around a certain flight deck in a snug-fitting jump suit?

  6. John Revolta said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:53

    So anyway, the bear picked up the Washington Pope, shit-rag that it is……………….

  7. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:55

    were the nation still capable of being embarrassed by its puerile faith in presidential magic

    Magic, huh? Nice invocation of Rush there.

  8. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:55

    I am only half tenth millionth tempted to dig up Getoffmylawn Will’s previous SOTU reviews, particularly those of the W era. I would be shocked to find fatulent, fawning, buttlicking filled columns.

    Hey, “the w era” I like it – era, error, get it?

  9. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 3:57

    Slobbering upon the PotUS’s knob: Will was for it before he was against it.

  10. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:04

    Mmmmmm……still has that new-thread smell!

  11. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:08

    Yes, how dare the darkie inexperienced callow pup who had the impudence to be reelected when I clearly stated he would not be, take advantage of a political ritual of more than a century’s standing to advocate policies that I disagree with! I, George Will, the smartest, purest man who has ever commented on American politics!

    Quote boy! Find me something snappy to express my indignation!

  12. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:20

    A most curious array of seemingly unrelated pics appear when one does a gis ‘pope shit woods’

  13. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:31

    Do.
    NOt.
    WANT.

  14. DRoseDARs said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:32

    It took some digging, but to be fair it turns out George Will has long been NOT a fan of State of the Union addresses-as-media-spectacle. I found some of his missives from 1994 (Clinton) and 2002 (il Dunce) and he made clear then he thought the SotU should be directed solely at members of Congress because STRICT READING OF THE CONSTITUTION, two centuries of traditional interpretation be damned. I’m willing to cut him some slack here. There’s plenty of other things for him to write about to make himself look stupid.

  15. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:37

    If Obama’s SOTU addresses will continue to give pencil-necked shit-twisters like Will conniptions, I suggest he start giving them EVERY MONTH.

  16. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:39

    he made clear then he thought the SotU should be directed solely at members of Congress because STRICT READING OF THE CONSTITUTION, two centuries of traditional interpretation be damned

    I suspect he feels that way because there’s no need for the poors and the proles to hear the business of their betters.

  17. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:44

    Y’all have made me start looking for used iPads, you fucking fucks.
    .

  18. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 4:55

    And damned if they haven’t retained value. iPad 2s going for over $300?! WTF?!
    .

  19. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:00

    Nothing requires “from time to time” to be construed as “every damn year.”

    I know, Congress really should be apprised far more frequently than that!

    And FUCK A CERTAIN GENTLEZOMBIE for beating me to it.

  20. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:14

    Y’all have made me start looking for used iPads, you fucking fucks.

    eh…while you’re at it…find me a macbook pro? i miss maxine…also, too…the son is hanging in there…i feel like absolute shit that i can’t be there with him…stupid winter…

  21. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:16

    Do.
    NOt.
    WANT.

    I am sorry to report that an image search for “bear shit in the pope” is barely different in terms of results.

  22. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:19

    ippadees aint worth it, JP. I received one as a gift coupla Xmasses back (Thanx Ho!) and I still haven’t found it good for much except wasting time in a spectacularly non-productive fashion. By which I mean it’s not even all that good for wasting time on teh Intartronzes iffen ya wants to, like do links and shit. Oh, I’m happy to have it but it’s frequently as much frustration as boon.

  23. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:27

    pup speaks the truth jp, so, now i guess you can devote more time to finding me a macbook…

  24. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:29

    JP-

    Contra Pup, I have found the iPad to be a great ancillary to my other debbil-boxes, as well as excellent for reading and playing games. Well, he DID say wasting time.

    Anyhoo, I upgraded recently and have a first gen 64 gig Wi-fi/Cellular that I was going to send in to a re-buy joint. But they usually downgrade their estimated costs after they receive it, so if you’re interested, let me know and if you can match their price, it’s yours.

    tigris is the belle of the internoozles after her lauded Riddled post and now she gets bitter if anyone steals her spotlight.

  25. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:29

    the son’s blood sugars are down to 177…they were at 442 this afternoon…poor thing is starving and bored…

  26. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:35

    Wait, are you saying I’ve got the clapper? ZOOOOOOMBIE! *shakes fist* That was PRIVATE!

  27. tigris said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:39

    bbkf, wow, that’s scary.

  28. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 5:58

    iPad = want for Garage Band.

    More realistic to spend that ching on a soundcard for this old piece-of-shit Dell desktop, and run Audacity, et al.
    .

  29. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:02

    iPad = want for Garage Band.

    Sadly I have zero musical talent.

  30. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:04

    Sadly I have zero musical talent.

    I have never let that impede my efforts, not once.
    .

  31. Bard said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:05

    When I read this the other day, I was hoping to see it on here.

  32. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:09

    I have never let that impede my efforts, not once.

    You’re in the right town then. Do you own a cowboy hat?

  33. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:12

    You’re in the right town then. Do you own a cowboy hat?

    No. That’s not my bag, maaaan. I do write stuff NO ONE wants to hear, though. That’s why I definitely want to spend as close to zero dollars on this whimsy as possible.
    .

  34. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:22

    Yes, the fusion guy moved to Nashville.
    .

  35. smut clyde said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:22

    the SotU should be directed solely at members of Congress

    Is anyone *forcing* media to report on it? Or on the various non-canon SotU Rebuttals?
    Perhaps Wills would be happier if Obama went back to the old FDR tradition of Fireside Chats.

  36. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:22

    That’s not my bag, maaaan.

    For some reason I imagined that to Jeff Bridge’s voice.

  37. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:24

    For some reason I imagined that to Jeff Bridge’s voice.

    The Dude is my own new personal hero.
    .

  38. A former mayor said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:31

    JP abides.

  39. Testing Testing said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:41

    Testing testing one, two, one two three four.

  40. The Feds Want Your Retirement Accounts said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:42

    Quietly, behind the scenes, the groundwork is being laid for federal government confiscation of tax-deferred retirement accounts such as IRAs. Slowly, the cat is being let out of the bag.
    Last January 18th, in a little noticed interview of Richard Cordray, acting head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Bloomberg reported “[t]he U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau [CFPB] is weighing whether it should take on a role in helping Americans manage the $19.4 trillion they have put into retirement savings, a move that would be the agency’s first foray into consumer investments.” That thought generates some skepticism, as aptly expressed by the Richard Terrell cartoon published by American Thinker.
    Days later On January 24th President Obama renominated Cordray as CFPB director even though his recess appointment was not due to expire until the end of 2013.
    One day later, in the first significant resistance to President Obama’s concentration of presidential power, a three judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals in Washington DC unanimously said that Obama’s Recess Appointments to the National Labor Relations Board are unconstitutional. Similar litigation testing the Cordray appointment to the CFPB is in the pipeline.
    The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) created by the 2,319 page Dodd-Frank legislation is a new and little known bureau with wide-ranging powers. Placed within the Federal Reserve, a corporation privately owned by member banks, the CFPB is insulated from oversight by either the President or Congress, its budget not subject to legislative control. It is not even clear that a new President can replace the CFPB director on taking office.
    Unusual legal and political environments have a significant impact on the CFPB. With Cordray’s recess appointment in doubt several questions remain unanswered.
    1) What will become of the CFPB when Cordray’s appointment is found invalid? An indicator comes from the NRLB, which operated unconstitutionally for years without a quorum. In 2007 the Senate threatened no NLRB nominations reported out of committee.
    The NLRB continued operating with two members. Then a Supreme Court ruling in June of 2010 invalidated the NLRB decisions for lack of a quorum. Fisher & Phillips give the details about what was done next.
    But recovery from the Supreme Court’s sting was quick, with Liebman and Schaumber still on the Board and with two new Members confirmed, … the suddenly full-strength Board simply added a new Member to the “rump panel” of the original decisions and managed to rubber-stamp many of the disputed Orders – at a record-setting pace – with the same result…
    This may explain why President Obama renominated Cordray a year early. Once confirmed Cordray can rubber-stamp decisions made while he was unconstitutionally appointed. Otherwise those decisions will be invalidated.
    2) What will the CFPB do with your money? The CFPB incursion into individual personal savings, in order to control how you invest your money, isn’t a new idea. Current proposals grew from a policy analysis as disclosed by Roger Hedgecock.
    On Nov. 20, 2007, Theresa Ghilarducci, professor of economic policy analysis at the New School for Social Research in New York, presented a paper proposing that the feds eliminate the tax deferral for private retirement accounts, confiscate the balance of those accounts, give each worker a $600 annual “contribution,” assess a mandatory savings tax on every worker and guarantee a 3 percent rate of return on the newly titled “Guaranteed Retirement Accounts,” or GRAs.
    How would that be accomplished? The Carolina Journal reported Ghilarducci’s 2008 testimony to Nancy Pelosi’s House.
    Democrats in the U.S. House have been conducting hearings on proposals to confiscate workers’ personal retirement accounts “including 401(k)s and IRAs” and convert them to accounts managed by the Social Security Administration.
    Your Government universal GRA investment savings account is an annuity managed by Social Security. Hedgecock noted ‘[m]ake no mistake here: Obama is after your retirement money. The “annuities” will “invest” not in the familiar packages of bond and stock mutual funds but in the Treasury debt!’
    By 2010 Bloomberg published an article titled “US Government Takes Two More Steps Toward Nationalization of Private Retirement Account Assets.” In that article Patrick Heller observed that, with Democrat control of Congress and the Presidency:
    [I]n mid-September 2010 the Departments of Labor and Treasury held hearings on the next step toward achieving Ghilarducci’s goals. The stated purpose was to require all private plans to offer retirees an option to elect an annuity. The “behind-the-scenes” purpose for this step was to get people used to the idea that the retirement assets they had accumulated would no longer be part of their estate when they died.
    So the Government would get the money, not the estate or family of the people who saved the money during a lifetime of work. That’s a one hundred percent death tax on savings. Worse, the most responsible and poorest families will be penalized.
    Democrats had a blueprint for diverting people’s savings from private investment to government debt. Then in 2010 the Tea Party won the house…
    3) Why should the Government intervene in people’s savings decisions? The justifications for Government intervention in private financial decisions are varied. Panic over the economy, Wall Street, mandating savings equity, eliminating investment risk, financial crisis losses, retirement security, much-needed oversight, your 401K becomes a 201K, shoddy financial products, and predatory investment bankers are just a few.
    If the financial industry is so predatory, how is it possible that savers keep any money? More importantly, we have all those government agencies, FDIC, FINRA, SEC, Labor Department, Treasury Department, NCUA, Office of Thrift Supervision, FHFA, NCUSIF, Comptroller of the Currency, Office of Foreign Assets Control, Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation, hundreds of criminal penalties, and state level regulators. Are we admitting the Government is incapable of policing criminal and predatory behavior? Do we have invincible predators plundering the people, or do politicians Cry Wolf?
    And about that crisis in the economy. Former Congressman Barney Frank, one of the authors of Dodd-Frank, admitted to Larry Kudlow that Government was to blame for the housing crisis.
    Professor Ghilarducci said “humans often lack the foresight, discipline, and investing skills required to sustain a savings plan.” Professor Ghilarducci tells us that people are flawed, no argument there.
    Her solution, substitute Government decisions for the judgment of the millions of people who actually earned and saved the money. She fails to mention the government bureaucrats wielding the power to compel you to comply are themselves imperfect. Which is preferable, one faulty Government solution or millions of individual free choices?
    4) Are there other forces pushing Government to confiscate people’s savings? With $16 trillion in debt the short answer is yes. When governments embark on a path of spending money they don’t have, they resort to financial repression. According to Wikipedia:
    Financial repression is any of the measures that governments employ to channel funds to themselves, that, in a deregulated market, would go elsewhere. Financial repression can be particularly effective at liquidating debt.
    Do we have any evidence that the US Government is pursuing financial repression? Yes we do. Jeff Cox at CNBC. “US and European regulators are essentially forcing banks to buy up their own government’s debt-a move that could end up making the debt crisis even worse, a Citigroup analysis says.”
    An Investors Business Daily article, Banks Pressured to Buy Government Debts, notes that “[b]anks can’t say no. They fear the political fallout. So they meekly submit to the government’s dictates.”
    Meanwhile the Wall Street Journal reports that “[i]n 2011, the Fed purchased a stunning 61% of Treasury issuance.” Then a CNS News article revealed that “[s]o far this calendar year [2013], the Federal Reserve has bought up more U.S. government debt than the U.S. Treasury has issued.”
    5) Is the health of Social Security (SS) a factor? There are several potential measures of when Social Security retirement goes broke. One measure is when FICA tax income doesn’t cover the cost of retirement checks. We have passed that point already. Others say that SS is fine until the lock box runs out of special issue bonds (IOUs).
    Even though the SS bonds in the lock box cannot be sold on the open market, the Treasury Department remains under political pressure to honor that obligation by borrowing real cash to redeem the IOUs. At least until the IOUs in the lock box are gone. How long is that? Based on a credible source, Bruce Krasting at Zerohedge suggests not long.
    SS consists of two different pieces. The Old Age and Survivors Insurance (OASI) and Disability Insurance (DI). Both entities have their own Trust Funds (TF). OASI has a big TF that will, in theory, allow for SS retirement benefits to be paid for another 15+ years. On the other hand, the DI fund will run completely dry during the 1stQ of 2016.
    So Krasting expects the President and Congress will soon be forced to choose between 4 solutions:
    1 Increase Income Taxes
    2 Increase Payroll Taxes
    3 Cut disability benefits by 30%
    4 Kick the can down the road and raid the retirement fund to pay for disability shortfalls.
    Krasting predicts Congress and Obama will be behind door number four. His credible source is the Congressional Budget Office report Social Security Trust Fund–February 2013 Baseline. In the footnotes it projects a $1 Trillion drain on the retirement fund which currently holds $2.8 Trillion. That’s a loss of approximately one third of the retirement IOUs.
    Krasting however omits another possible solution, politicians can raid private retirement savings to put more IOUs in the lock boxes and more real money in the Treasury. Other people’s money is a temptation and $19.4 Trillion is a very large temptation.
    Social Security is the largest entitlement program with a trust fund of $2.8 Trillion IOUs, soon to be reduced by another $1 Trillion. Can any politician, addicted to spending, resist that temptation of $19.4 Trillion? That’s real people’s real money that will be spent by Government in exchange for IOUs given to the SS lock box.
    Meanwhile newly minted Senator Elizabeth Warren has entered the debate. Conservatives and Republicans have challenged the CFPB in the wake of the unconstitutional recess appointment. Bloomberg speculates that Warren might agree to trim the CFPB powers in a compromise. Bloomberg reported:
    “A strong independent consumer agency is good for families and lenders that follow the rules and good for the economy as a whole,” Warren said yesterday in an interview. “I will keep fighting for that.” [snip]
    Some observers have suggested that Warren’s original support for a commission-led bureau might mean she would be amenable to compromise on that issue. Warren spokesman Dan Geldon said such speculation is mistaken.
    “Senator Warren thinks the single director structure makes sense and that CFPB should continue to be able to operate, like every other banking regulator, without relying on appropriations for its funding,” Geldon said.
    Bloomberg also notes that soon “the Senate will have to decide whether to vote to confirm director Richard Cordray in his post, which would make a legal challenge pointless.”
    Conservatives and Republicans challenge the surrender of legislative power to the bureau, the concentrated power of a single director, the unconstitutional recess appointments, and the violation of constitutional separation of powers. The Republican position is the constitutional questions and litigation presently underway should be resolved prior to approving a director of CFPB.
    The constitutional issues surrounding Dodd — Frank and the CFPB are beyond the space for this article. For those interested in the legal issues, a good synopsis can be found at the Mark Levin Radio Show podcast for February 18th. Mark is an attorney and his Landmark Legal Foundation has argued many cases before the Supreme Court. He can explain complex legal issues in straightforward language.

    Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/02/the_feds_want_your_retirement_accounts.html#ixzz2Lh6BLIXU
    Follow us: @AmericanThinker on Twitter | AmericanThinker on Facebook

  41. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 23, 2013 at 6:57

    THE FEDS WANT TO REPLACE YOUR FOLGER’S CRYSTALS WITH BADGERS!
    .

  42. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 23, 2013 at 7:01

    Richard Cordray, acting head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

    Didn’t he used to be on The Daily Show?

  43. Babe Ruthless said,

    February 23, 2013 at 7:02

    Oh man, someone shit the thread.

  44. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 23, 2013 at 7:10

    Some of the blame for this yearly night of nonsense goes to Ronald Reagan.

    ?!?

  45. A former mayor said,

    February 23, 2013 at 7:41

    Are they now begging to be given the Sadly Treatment?

  46. Wall Street HAS Your Retirement Accounts said,

    February 23, 2013 at 8:08

    And you worry about the Feds wanting them?

    That’s like, uh… a little like worrying whether the summer heat is going to spoil that case of beer you left at your alcoholic buddy’s place (Helpful Hint Because You’re American Thinker: He drank it already).

  47. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 23, 2013 at 10:41

    In the 12 months we have to steel ourselves for the next State of the Union spectacle, let us count the ways that this spawn of democratic Caesarism — presidency worship — has become grotesque.

    Now, worshiping DEAD presidents is seemly and proper because Ronald Reagan died for your sins.

  48. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 23, 2013 at 10:57

    Is anyone *forcing* media to report on it? Or on the various non-canon SotU Rebuttals?

    Is anyone forcing George Will to watch it? It’s not like the president is even on Will’s lawn.

  49. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 13:44

    Whoa – Does anyone really think Will watched/listened to the SotU?

  50. Suezboo said,

    February 23, 2013 at 13:55

    attention : technoheads
    Help needed here for an old Luddite.
    I know this is an easily resolvable issue but I have forgotten (HelLO there, dementia) how to do it.
    I am running Windows XP and Google Chrome on my soon-to-be-totes-obsolete PC. And the pop-ups have returned to haunt my every Intertoobs move. How do I kill them again?

  51. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 14:35

    Suezboo – You will need 16 cloves of garlic, a 8″ stake carved from oak or walnut and … someone who knows the answer to your question.

    Whooop! Whooop! Whooop!

  52. Disgruntled Consumer said,

    February 23, 2013 at 15:42

    the Washington Post’s value as low-grade toilet paper,…

    Cheap Acid based ink…

    Avoid.

  53. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 23, 2013 at 15:48

    And the pop-ups have returned to haunt my every Intertoobs move. How do I kill them again?

    Sounds like a malware infection.
    ~

  54. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 23, 2013 at 15:59

    Pup is right, JP. you’re much better off getting a nice laptop. I can’t use my iPad now because my son commandeered it, but even if hadn’t I’d prolly mainly use it for Angry Birds.

  55. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 16:39

    and i am highly annoyed that my ipad cannot and will not upgrade to ios 6, which is needed to run some apps…

  56. LittlePig said,

    February 23, 2013 at 16:45

    So the bear picked up the pope, and wiped his ass with him.

    Jay Hickman, represent!

  57. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:02

    perhaps bronco should deliver his sotus via periodic tweets…

  58. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:09

    I suspect Fred Hiatt hired Jenghazi Rubin to make his other hacks (like G.F.Will) look better by comparison.
    ~

  59. Suezboo said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:11

    NO, Thundra, say it isn’t so.
    Shirley AVG Free would have killed it on arrival.
    Now what am I gonna do?

  60. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:35

    LOL:
    “Hagel’s flip-flop from his pledge to Senator Levin and stonewalling by his White House handlers reflects a not so thinly veiled contempt for the Senate’s advice and consent responsibilities,” the aide says.

    oh, yes…the senate has been a bastion of good behavior of course we should be heeding their advice…

  61. Chrome Web Store said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:41

    Suzeboo,

    Have you downloaded these two extensions from the Chrome Web Store?: AdBlock and Click&Clean.

  62. LittlePig said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:42

    low-grade toilet paper,…

    Cheap Acid based ink…

    So THAT’S why you don’t eat the brown acid. Ewwwww.

  63. LittlePig said,

    February 23, 2013 at 17:47

    Today’s Wikipedia wanderings have led me to learn about pitot tubes and the Very Bad Things that happen when they freeze over, or, in one case, become home to mud-daubers.

    Which gives me yet more appreciation of Major Kong. (It also makes me wonder why pitot tube heaters have/had to be manually controlled.)

  64. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:02

    It also makes me wonder why pitot tube heaters have/had to be manually controlled

    Good question.

    Mainly so you don’t burn up the fabric covers they put over them when the plane is sitting on the ground. Also it could be a danger to ground crews because they get extremely hot.

    On the 757 they come on automatically once the engines are started. All we have is a light that comes on if one of them stops working.

  65. Austin Loomis said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:03

    How, in the name of all that’s full of holes, did we get this far down a thread about George Will without anyone mentioning the time he wrote a column praising one of Reagan’s campaign speeches and was in fact later found to have written the speech he was praising? Not to mention the very real possibility that he’d written it based on the briefing books that were stolen from the Carter campaign?

    At a guess, it’s because the brainscream media, in yet another desperate and hilariously doomed attempt to fend off the noise machine’s accusations of liberal bias, did not in fact do what they ought rightly to have done when these revelations surfaced, viz. or to wit shun him from any paper with greater circulation and/or credibility than the Eye Socket, MT Goatfucker-Tribune.

  66. Suezboo said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:05

    Wow, Thanks Chrome Web Store !
    That totally worked.
    This is an unsolicited testimonial re killing malware.

  67. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:05

    hmmm…i may have started a flamewar on facebook…over one of those ‘how can welfare people afford time and money for tattoos and cigarettes and drinks when they can’t find a job?’ type of posts…i am super cranky today…

  68. Major Kong said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:13

    I’ve never known anyone on welfare, but I can’t imagine it’s half the good deal people seem to think it is.

  69. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:15

    ugh…well, i’ve been on it and i can guarantee you that it is zero fun…and i hate blanket statements…especially ones that are based on bullshit…

  70. bbkf said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:16

    omg…now they are going on about the smart phones bronco gave all the dark welfare people..

  71. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®☢☣ said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:29

    …smart phones bronco gave all the dark welfare people..

    I and people like me (of the dusky hued varietal) are why we canna have nice things. Our mere presence causes 40 percent of the country to embrace batshit insanity as a Raison d’etre.

    Sorry about that. I know people on welfare who listen to Rush and think their shit doesn’t stink.

  72. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:32

    I will confess to a great fondness for the Kindle app on my ippadee. My nephew’s wife, who lives in Florida and was deciding “iPad or Kindle,” asked me how well my ipad worked in bright sunlight. Being a Portlander and all, “bright what?” I replied.

  73. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®☢☣ said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:33

    AndPlayersToBeHatedLater…

    I crack myself the fuck up, I do…

  74. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    February 23, 2013 at 18:53

    Being a Portlander and all, “bright what?” I replied.

    This made me larf and reminded me why I don’t live in the northwest. I really like the sun…But upon further thought I imagine that your winters are not nearly as shitty as ours in south central IN.

    In other me related news, last night was the seventh time in a row (over the course of the last month) that someone bought me a beer at a bar I occasionally check in after work on my way home. Twice bartenders, twice dear old friends (one a comely lass who may have been on the make [I possess many skills, but can never tell if the ladies are flirting or just being nice {many of my past girlfriends have had to beat me about the head and shoulders before I became aware that they were not just being nice} a fairly interesting blindspot,] but I digress.) And on three occasions random strangers who happened to sitting in the next seat. It started with a visiting Canadian I had nice chat with.

    I’m onna Rolll!!!

  75. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 19:08

    Screenshot I made to share with some internet motorcycle friends: http://i.imgur.com/d6F8vwc.png

  76. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    February 23, 2013 at 19:21

    46 degrees and what appears to be rainy is just on the edge of the “this sucks” metric (for someone contemplating a journey on two wheels that is). But actually everyone i have met who has traveled to or lived in Portland attests to its genius (including a lovely person I have known for years who relocated there, and who I miss tremendously).

    /shakes fist at sky, yells “Damn you Oregon”! Reconsiders because of hops, and beer, OBS and pup…

  77. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 20:07

    omg…now they are going on about the smart phones bronco gave all the dark welfare people.

    But not the light welfare people, unfair!

    Oh wait, light welfare people don’t exist, although some folks might get “assistance.” Completely different thing. Somehow.

    Ah well, this is why we get amusing events such as the GOP announcing it is going to hack SCHIP to pieces because STOP WASTIN’ GUBBERMINT MONIES ON MOOCHERS plays so well the Den Base. And then a sudden Warner Bros. type skid and backpedal when Den Base realizes that SCHIP is what allows them to take their kids to the doctors without having to pay $550 for a 15 minute office visit.

  78. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 20:38

    But actually everyone i have met who has traveled to or lived in Portland attests to its genius

    Portlandia is a documentary.

  79. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 20:38

    Also.

  80. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 20:39

    FYWP

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-30-most-portland-things-that-have-ever-happened-in-portl

  81. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2013 at 20:59

    Reconsiders because of hops, and beer, OBS and pup…

    Aww, shucks…

    Sadlies are always welcome here as far as I’m concerned. Others, notsomuch, but you’re welcome to visit (paraphrasing Tom McCall).

  82. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:04

    Y’all have made me start looking for used iPads, you fucking fucks.

    Sorry, can’t deny being a fucking fuck. FWIW, I got my gen1 64gig 3g model for $100 about six months ago or so, which I considered a pretty good deal. Unfortunately, it won’t upgrade to the latest IOS — other updates are still coming through just fine though. Not a big deal so far, but a few apps won’t load (nothing I consider critical).

    The first gen is also quite noticeably slower than the newer one — I ran an app I’m developing on mine and then on the newest one and the performance difference was really surprising.

    If I didn’t use it to test shit I’m developing, and for music stuff, it’d only ever get used for the occasional game and as an “easy to just leave on the coffee table to grab for looking something up while watching TV or whatever”. But any tablet, including the cheap ones, would work for that.

  83. wiley said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:18

    It’s good to see you, Cerberus! All is well with you, I hope.

  84. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:19

    My Gen I is getting long in the tooth alright. It felt slow but not terribly so until I used Teh Ho’s Nexus 7. Now I haz a sad. We are somewhat anti-consumerist so I’m really hesitant to replace it. IF I decide to replace it Imma prolly go Android. Our iPhone 4Sses might get replaced by Android later this year, but might not because I’m a cheap SOB.

  85. VCarlson said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:25

    Touching on some Will topics,

    It’s not like the president is even on Will’s lawn.

    What came to my mind was a possible bitterness on Will’s part that Bronco wasn’t – as a lawn jockey.

    And speaking as an unemployed librarian, another reason for the media not bringing up Will’s past is they have forgotten it (selectively, to be sure), because they have gotten rid of their librarians (mostly chicks, so it doesn’t matter) in favor of Teh Gazoogle. Which is a fine place to start, but it doesn’t have everything, and what it does have isn’t always findable. Even for librarians, and we Know How To Find Out.

    Also, Portland is a fine place. My sister and her family live there. I prefer my damp raininess to be sunny and warm, so I don’t live there.

  86. Pupienus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 21:42

    North Carolina GOP outreach:

    http://www.aclu.org/human-rights/aclu-nc-criticizes-nc-dmvs-plan-issue-second-class-licenses-legal-immigrants

  87. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    February 23, 2013 at 22:07

    Also.

    P-land does have one of the best bike scenes in the country, too, as well.

    I guess I should try to make it out there sometime…

  88. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    February 23, 2013 at 22:11

    North Carolina GOP outreach:

    If it is not about projection with these wankers, the lowest common denominator is class.

    Does the license allow one to put handbrakes on a handbasket?

  89. VCarlson said,

    February 23, 2013 at 22:22

    Does the license allow one to put handbrakes on a handbasket?

    I’d guess it puts rockets on a handbasket. The proposed license features a pink bar and “NO LAWFUL STATUS” in red.

  90. smut clyde said,

    February 23, 2013 at 22:23

    Pupienus’ list of Portlandia things omits sculptures of de-fingered hands everywhere.

  91. Provider_UNE_AndPlayersToBeHatedLater™®?? said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:13

    I’d guess it puts rockets on a handbasket.

    Now that’s the ticket. Now if only we can change the trajectory of the handbasket and achieve escape velocity, fill it with powers that be and shoot them into the sun…

  92. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:22

    NO LAWFUL STATUS

    Right, because

    While aliens may face suit under tort or commercial laws, they also possess the right to sue.

    Despite the obligations that fall under temporary allegiance, the law affords aliens many of the rights that U.S. citizens possess. Aliens have the right to gain employment, and states cannot use discriminatory methods to protect local jobs for state citizens at the expense of aliens. Furthermore, employers cannot deprive aliens of the federal and state mandatory minimum wages.

    Aliens also receive treatment very similar to the treatment that U.S. citizens receive in the context of the judicial system. For instance, the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution apply to aliens residing within the United States. As such, the courts guarantee aliens the right to due process of law and equal protection of the laws. Courts have generally construed the Fourth Amendment as applicable to aliens as well. The Fourth Amendment prohibits the government from conducting unreasonable searches and seizures.

    No lawful status indeed. Gee, I wonder what they _really_ mean by those words.

  93. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:23

    bbkf gave me tagfail.

  94. The Federal Government said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:50

    Attention states,

    It is none of your fucking business whether a given individual is or is not a U.S. citizen.

    That is all.

  95. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:50

    the new licenses will be introduced this summer “to distinguish people who are not U.S. citizens.”

    But, not every legal immigrant can or will get a license and many already have licenses. There for you’ll have secret stealth immigrants lurking around. Clearly NC needs to require legal immigrants to wear some sort of identifying symbol on their outerwear.

  96. Shakezula said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:50

    Therefore. Sheesh.

  97. The Federal Government said,

    February 23, 2013 at 23:53

    Will’s been pissy ever since Duyba led the country into two undeniably catastrophic wars and his party got taken over by cretins. Sputtering about Obama is about the only thing he has left.

  98. El Manquecito said,

    February 24, 2013 at 0:02

    Well, that’s more right than the Federal Government usually is.

  99. Pupienus said,

    February 24, 2013 at 0:10

    POOP

  100. bbkf said,

    February 24, 2013 at 1:55

    bbkf gave me tagfail.

    and hey…it’s nothing to fool around with!

  101. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 24, 2013 at 2:37

    Ah well, this is why we get amusing events such as the GOP announcing it is going to hack SCHIP to pieces because STOP WASTIN’ GUBBERMINT MONIES ON MOOCHERS plays so well the Den Base. And then a sudden Warner Bros. type skid and backpedal when Den Base realizes that SCHIP is what allows them to take their kids to the doctors without having to pay $550 for a 15 minute office visit.

    Funny. I heard a blurb on the radio about how the sequester will hit red states really hard because they are on the federal government teat to a far greater extent than the blue states. The example given was Oklahoma- if civilians working on military bases get laid off or furloughed, it will have a cascade effect on the economy.

    Keep voting for fucktards, ‘baggers!

  102. VCarlson said,

    February 24, 2013 at 2:40

    Clearly NC needs to require legal immigrants to wear some sort of identifying symbol on their outerwear.

    And require such individuals to live be housed in special areas…

    Yeah.

  103. Shakezula said,

    February 24, 2013 at 3:20

    Funny. I heard a blurb on the radio about how the sequester will hit red states really hard because they are on the federal government teat to a far greater extent than the blue states.

    Yes, there was an article about that in the paper today. Or yesterday. (Yes, I am alive and I do still read the shitrag.) We’ll soon find out if there are enough truly crazy fucknuggets in the GOP for them to go with Let it all Burn. But I bet their asses don’t go home for a while.

    VCarlson said,

    February 24, 2013 at 2:40

    But that and the curfew and the travel restrictions and the separate toilets and water fountains will be strictly for their comfort and safety! Why are the liberals getting so upset???

  104. A former mayor said,

    February 24, 2013 at 4:03

    But I bet their asses don’t go home for a while.
    Pfff.
    They already have the rubes believing that it’s all Obama’s fault.
    Crap’s already flyin’ around Facebook.

  105. John Revolta said,

    February 24, 2013 at 4:08

    They already have the rubes believing that it’s all Obama’s fault.

    Sadly, this.

  106. Shakezula said,

    February 24, 2013 at 5:32

    Crap’s already flyin’ around Facebook.

    OK, I’m very strange, don’t FB and actively ignore attempts to interest me in same. So I ask you – Do you feel it provides an accurate gauge of public sentiment? I guess one way to look at it is, thinking back to 1 Nov., 2012, who was going to win the presidential election based on what you saw on FB?

    OK, I should also say that it is my unsupported belief that people are far more likely to be full of shit on the Internet.

    On a completely different subject. My new earphones + Imperative Reaction = Time to boogie.

  107. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 24, 2013 at 5:48

    The disturbing thing about Facebook is how many people are loud and stupid idiots under their real names. I mean, I got THIS name to do that.

  108. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 24, 2013 at 6:22

    OH. FUCK. YEAH.

    A long-gone kick-ass website of yore is back again.

    *****THE MAGIC IS BACK*****

  109. A former mayor said,

    February 24, 2013 at 6:55

    OK, I’m very strange, don’t FB and actively ignore attempts to interest me in same. So I ask you – Do you feel it provides an accurate gauge of public sentiment?

    You’re not strange. The only reason I have an account is to stay in touch with the grandkids. Once on though, I decided not to dis other relatives by ignoring their friend requests. Hide in plain sight an’all that.
    As far as the dumb shit, I think it provides an accurate gauge of my dumbest wingnut relative’s attitudes. I don’t bother commenting, but it gives me an idea of what subjects to avoid if I happen to run into them IRL.

  110. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    February 24, 2013 at 7:34

    Hi there friends, nice article and good urging commented here, I am genuinely enjoying by these.

    This is clearly an actual person. I think I’ll click on the link right now…

    While aliens may face suit under tort or commercial laws, they also possess the right to sue.

    We’re giving the Greys and Reptilians the right to sue?!

  111. VCarlson said,

    February 24, 2013 at 7:47

    We’re giving the Greys and Reptilians the right to sue?!

    Only if they’re legals. Do you think they’d be considered to be of an “appropriate” hue?

  112. Babe Ruthless said,

    February 24, 2013 at 10:05

    You seen this? Galt’s Gulch ISREAL.
    http://galtsgulchchile.com/

  113. CRA said,

    February 24, 2013 at 10:07

    I heard a blurb on the radio about how the sequester will hit red states really hard because they are on the federal government teat to a far greater extent than the blue states.

    Take out the “teat” clause and it becomes Obama trying to fuck the red states. The spin is just an extension of what McConnell and/or Boehner are already doing, trying to pin the sequester on Obama.

    90% of the (r) strategy seems to be dependence on people not following up. I get it, they (esp. wingnuts) don’t follow up, but if we have any concern for facts, that doesn’t matter one bit. I don’t verify ANYTHING science tells me, but we still go to the moon and stuff.

  114. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 24, 2013 at 11:06

    You seen this? Galt’s Gulch ISREAL.

    If they’re lucky, some leftist Shining Path guerrillas will find them and take them hostage, and the State Department (tyranny ISREAL!!!) will, tragically, ransom them. If they are unlucky, it’ll be BIOSHOCK meets Donner Party.

  115. Hogeye Grex said,

    February 24, 2013 at 13:02

    Oh wait, light welfare people don’t exist, although some folks might get “assistance.” Completely different thing. Somehow.

    To wit:

  116. bbkf said,

    February 24, 2013 at 15:57

    yay! we’re going to see the son today…he was hoping to get transferred out of icu last night (sstill hadn’t at 11:00) but has to stay in til tomorrow…he’s had friends and family with him this whole time, but i am sooooooo anxious to get there and be there tomorrow for his doc appointment…so, celebratory brunch: bacon, scrambled eggs with cracked black pepper cheese and pumpkin pancakes (of which i won’t partake in possibly ever because hello diabetes! has given me a heads up once again)…

  117. tigris said,

    February 24, 2013 at 17:31

    You seen this? Galt’s Gulch ISREAL.

    Lots of shared, community-provided amenities.

  118. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 24, 2013 at 17:47

    Galt’s Gulch ISREAL.

    As real as III Citidel. They just started giving tours of the site last month… or did they?
    .

  119. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 24, 2013 at 18:00

    … or DID they?
    .

  120. bbkf said,

    February 24, 2013 at 18:32

    wtf? is the citadel people also behind teh galts gulch? man, this world is full of crazy…

  121. tigris said,

    February 24, 2013 at 20:01

    Wow, those commenters are something else. Bless their hearts.

  122. Snorghagen said,

    February 24, 2013 at 20:16

    Wow, those commenters are something else. Bless their hearts.

    My favorite is this manly man, who proudly defies the evil minions of tyranny:

    Cowards may run away from danger

    … I for one will stand and fight right here in the Rocky Mountains.

    FOR LIBERTY

  123. Major Kong said,

    February 24, 2013 at 20:21

    … I for one will stand and fight right here in the Rocky Mountains.

    Wolverines!!!

  124. El Manquécito said,

    February 24, 2013 at 20:24

    From shouting at clouds to actual wrassling them shows real commitment.

  125. The Truth said,

    February 24, 2013 at 21:28

    Ahh, my poor liberal droogs.

  126. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 24, 2013 at 21:28

    Well, I don’t know where you are, but you’re not here.
    .

  127. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 24, 2013 at 22:01

    From shouting at clouds to actual wrassling them shows real commitment.

    Weren’t they shooting at them recently?

  128. tigris said,

    February 25, 2013 at 0:33

    The clouds directly overhead shot back.

  129. wiley said,

    February 25, 2013 at 2:39

    I got a Facebook account so I could post at Charles Pierce’s place. Some people may suspect that my name is not “Felonious Grammar” and that I am not, in fact, a monkey astronaut. So far, I have seen no complaints. It doesn’t matter to me because I know that I haven’t said anything on the internet that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

  130. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 3:07

    I think I shorted out my orgone accumulator.

  131. Major Kong said,

    February 25, 2013 at 3:11

    I think I shorted out my orgone accumulator.

    Is that next to the flux capacitor?

  132. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 3:55

    WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP ALERT ALERT ALERT WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP

    Beef short ribs braised in Rasputin chocolate stout TONIGHT! Imma basically doing carbonade a la flamande using the Rasputin ‘stead of a Belgian brown ale.

    SHALL I TAKE PICTURES FOR OBS?

  133. DAS said,

    February 25, 2013 at 4:04

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    Don’t know to what I am responding, but that’s as good a way as any to jump into a thread you haven’t really read. Don’t you agree?

  134. El Manquecito said,

    February 25, 2013 at 4:17

    I did a great short rib braise last week, using a home made muscadine mead and duck stock.

  135. A former mayor said,

    February 25, 2013 at 4:22

    Some people may suspect that my name is not “Felonious Grammar”
    Hm.
    I read Charlie regularly.
    You rock.

  136. Major Kong said,

    February 25, 2013 at 5:14

    I did a great short rib braise last week, using a home made muscadine mead and duck stock.

    Duck stock!
    Rabbit stock!
    Duck stock!
    Rabbit stock!

  137. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 25, 2013 at 6:17

    Donner Party Chipotle: obviously lost it when they put out a “Live In Japan” double album.

  138. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 6:30

    No pics. IT WERE FABULOUS!

  139. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 6:34

    Donner Party Chipotle

    Relevant: http://imgur.com/a/81ECI#bfjmM

  140. A former mayor said,

    February 25, 2013 at 12:52

    “Vulcan” has taken a huge lead in the Plutorocks voting.
    This must not stand.
    Vote

  141. LittlePig said,

    February 25, 2013 at 15:17

    On the 757 they come on automatically once the engines are started. All we have is a light that comes on if one of them stops working.

    That’s the solution I came up with thinking about it over the weekend. I knew they couldn’t be on all the time just because of the batteries, so if engines were on, heaters were on.

    Still I’m damn glad you have a light (which also seemed obvious – put a thermistor in there and run a light through it).

    Thank you very much for that answer! I appreciate it.

  142. El Manquécito said,

    February 25, 2013 at 15:23

    Do all the reindeer have party chilis? Prancer Party Pasilla? Blitzen Party Chilcostles?

  143. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:00

    SHALL I TAKE PICTURES FOR OBS?

    Yes, gawdammit!

    No pics. IT WERE FABULOUS!

    [resigned sigh]

  144. N__B said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:02

    I know people on welfare who listen to Rush and think their shit doesn’t stink.

    I’m guessing these are welfare-recipient-dittoheads of the paler persuasion.

  145. Whale Chowder said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:16

    Relevant: http://imgur.com/a/81ECI#bfjmM

    How was the food?

  146. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:17

    It pains me to say it but “good job E$ra.”

    Bobo:: In my ideal world, the Obama administration would do something Clintonesque: They’d govern from the center; they’d have a budget policy that looked a lot more like what Robert Rubin would describe, and if the Republicans rejected that, moderates like me would say that’s awful, the White House really did come out with a centrist plan.
    E$: But I’ve read Robert Rubin’s tax plan. He wants $1.8 trillion in new revenues. The White House, these days, is down to $1.2 trillion. I’m with Rubin on this one, but given our two political parties, the White House’s offer seems more centrist. And you see this a lot. People say the White House should do something centrist like Simpson-Bowles, even though their plan has less in tax hikes and less in defense cuts.

    If you can stand going to the WaPoop it’s worth it just to see Bobo’s squirming for being called out on his writing a big bald flat-out lie.

  147. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:31

    I used my PC but you can use a regular dutch oven. It’s so easy. Season and brown the ribs in butter. BROWN them I said, you want a dark brown crust. Take them out and throw a shitload of onions in to saute in butter. I used pearl onions but for two people one large onion, sliced, would do. Cook, stirring occasionally until they start to brown. Return the ribs to the pot. Add a carrot, peeled and cut in 1/2″ or so slices. Pour in the stout, enough to cover the ribs 2/3 of the way. Add thyme to taste. Toss a couple bay leaves in. Bring to a fast simmer and cook for two hours. I cooked them about 28 minutes in the PC. When done remove the ribs – the meat will fall off. Return the pot to a hot burner. Taste and correct aeasoning. Reduce it to thicken or thicken with a bit of buerre manie (or whatever you like to do to thicken a sauce). Serve with steamed potatoes and carrots.

    Really, it’s that fucking simple to make a fab dinner.

  148. bughunter said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:43

    “Vulcan” has taken a huge lead in the Plutorocks voting.
    This must not stand.

    We have been overwhelmed by the world’s response. Thank you to all 450,324 who voted!
    [snip]
    Please be patient now. It could take 1-2 months for the final names of P4 and P5 to be selected and approved. Stay tuned.

    Voting is closed. Cerb came in second.

    Good news is that they need two names. So it looks like they will be Vulcan and Cerberus.

    We’ll have to wait to find out for sure…

  149. VCarlson said,

    February 25, 2013 at 19:48

    People say the White House should do something centrist like Simpson-Bowles, even though their plan has less in tax hikes and less in defense cuts.

    Huh? Wha? Simpson-Bowles is considered centrist? In what sane* universe?

    *I said “sane,” so the Village doesn’t count.

  150. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:04

    Really, it’s that fucking simple to make a fab dinner.

    Thank you kind sir.

  151. Andy said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:06

    Good news is that they need two names. So it looks like they will be Vulcan and Cerberus.

    Let’s hope so… the next runner-up is “Styx” (shudder). Laa–dy…

  152. El Manquecito said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:15

    Excellent précis Pup. For more depth I’d use concentrated stock or demi-glacé with the ale and add a trimmed head of garlic and some celery. The importance of initial browning cannot be over emphasized.

  153. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:26

    Wait a minute. I thought Pluto wasn’t even a planet anymore. How can it have moons?

  154. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:30

    Thanks, El M. My regular carbonade a la flamande gets some demi. I decided to go without because the Rasputin stout is so … stouty. I wanted to make it as simple as possible because most people don’t keep demi around. As it turned out, it would have been gilding the lily (which is not necessarily a bad thing).

    And i forgot to mention the garlic (OBS TAKE NOTE). My bad.

  155. Thread Bear said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:35

    Galt’s Gulch ISREAL.

    In my neighborhood it’s Galt Island. I notice that there’s still a causway to the mainland though. Perhaps they will destroy it after all the consturction is complete.

  156. El Manquecito said,

    February 25, 2013 at 20:38

    I understand that my freezer full of various stocks and fridge loaded with various rendered fats is NOT NORMAL.

  157. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 25, 2013 at 21:28

    And i forgot to mention the garlic (OBS TAKE NOTE). My bad.

    I hope you feel a profound disturbance in the force as I add two of the little frozen garlic cubes that TJ’s sells instead of using fresh.

  158. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 25, 2013 at 21:47

    I hope you feel a profound disturbance in the force as I add two of the little frozen garlic cubes that TJ’s sells instead of using fresh.

    Boy, do you have an overdeveloped sense of guilt. When I’m too lazy to peel a clove I just sprinkle in some garlic salt.

  159. Pupienus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 21:57

    Nah, that’s okay. I will even confess to using Penzey’s minced garlic (the new type, their previous version was crap) here and there.

  160. El Manquecito said,

    February 25, 2013 at 22:11

    I enjoy mbouffant’s food reports; that guy really lives.

  161. LittlePig said,

    February 25, 2013 at 22:24

    Penzey’s minced garlic

    Me too, though it does have an unwarranted bite.

    I’m using their new granulated garlic in dry rub experiments. It’s just right.

  162. LittlePig said,

    February 25, 2013 at 22:25

    I’ll bet I wasn’t using the new stuff, though, come to think of it.

    Was that harsh undertone removed in the new stuff?

  163. John Revolta said,

    February 25, 2013 at 22:52

    Jeez. Obviously all you slackers need to invite a garlic-peelin’ mofo such as moi around to dinner.

    It may be the only goddam thing I can DO in the kitchen, but I GOT IT DOWN.

  164. Shakezula said,

    February 25, 2013 at 23:06

    I’m guessing these are welfare-recipient-dittoheads of the paler persuasion.

    It would make sense. Rush was once a welfare queen. They’re just emulating their hero.

    I understand that my freezer full of various stocks and fridge loaded with various rendered fats is NOT NORMAL.

    Indeed. It could lead to a critical situation in the … um … thingermagig and cause a total renooberation of the whatsis that will leave your cooking implements in a state of irreversible higgeldy-piggledy. The only way to prevent disaster is to give the dangerous materials away to random strangers.

  165. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 25, 2013 at 23:30

    Bitter Scribe said,
    February 25, 2013 at 20:26

    Wait a minute. I thought Pluto wasn’t even a planet anymore. How can it have moons?

    Even a lot of asteroids have smaller asteroids orbiting them “…and little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.”

    Pluto’s not a planet anymore because it wasn’t big enough to accrete all the material available and clear its segment of the planetary disk. Bodies like that deserve a name, and the traditional one has been “planet”. It’s either think up a new name for Pluto, Ceres, Quaoar, et.al, or leave them as “planets” and think up a new name for Mercury through Neptune. I think the latter’s a non-starter.

  166. Pupienus said,

    February 25, 2013 at 23:33

    Was that harsh undertone removed in the new stuff?

    I last used the old kind several years ago because I didn’t care for it. I also use their granulated garlic in rubs (and cures), btw. The new (just checked – introduced winter 2011) stuff is freeze dried. I think it’s pretty good, though I only use it when I’m feeling lazy.

    Also, just realized I broke my own rule by eliding the PhillyMag link Booboos in Paradise in my earlier Bobo comment. .

  167. Andy said,

    February 25, 2013 at 23:37

    The official name for Pluto (as well as Ceres, Eris and a couple of other similar bodies) is “dwarf planets”. So says the International Astronomical Union (IAU), at least. I suppose dwarf planets could have dwarf moons, although as far as I know Pluto’s moons are still considered just moons. Eris has one too.

  168. John Revolta said,

    February 25, 2013 at 23:45

    I vote for “planettes”.

  169. Pupienus said,

    February 26, 2013 at 0:15

    Planetlets.
    Planetie.
    Planetock.
    Planetulum.
    Planetine.
    Planetling.
    Planetula.
    Planetilla.

  170. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 26, 2013 at 0:22

    fun-sized planet

  171. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 26, 2013 at 0:35

    Planetino

  172. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 26, 2013 at 0:50

    While my last post approved of Pluto no longer being called a “planet”, I am less than crazy about lumping together asteroids like Ceres (And Vesta deserves the same status—it did achieve sphericity under its own gravity. It’s not its fault it had its south pole blown off.) with icy Kuiper Belt objects like Pluto and Eris. Total apples and oranges!

    And HM—I rate for “planetino”.

  173. tensor said,

    February 26, 2013 at 1:05

    Cripes, whatever happened to “planetoid”? Not geeky enough for the frikin’ International Astronomical Union?

    We should recall that “planet” is a Anglo form of the Greek, “planetoi”, meaning “wanderer (against the fixed stars).” Since planets in fact follow exact orbits, and we now know the stars are not fixed, we should just scrap the entire nomenclature and start anew.

  174. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 26, 2013 at 1:28

    How about “planetoid” instead of “asteroid” (they’re not little stars, after all), and “megacomet” for Pluto and its ilk?

  175. Major Kong said,

    February 26, 2013 at 1:37

    I vote for “Big ass space rock”.

  176. Whale Chowder said,

    February 26, 2013 at 1:48

    A big rock with an ass-space would be quite something to spot in one’s telescope.

    In fact, I sense an opportunity for one McGravitas.

  177. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:04

    I was really hoping for Yuggoth but it wasn’t among the choices.

    Planetino sounds edible.Planetoid seems good to me.

  178. Pupienus said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:07

    Spel more, preach less.

  179. VCarlson said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:36

    Spel more, preach less

    Huh. I noticed the billboard-lighted sign juxtaposition first, then the spelling erorr.

  180. John Revolta said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:42

    So, how does one go about “having one’s south pole blown off”?

    AF, you know, AF.

  181. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:43

    To be fair, in Portland you can’t throw a cat without hitting a strip club.

  182. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 26, 2013 at 2:44

    Spel more, preach less.

    Great juxtaposition!

    On the food-porn frontier, lately, I have been substituting ajwain seeds for thyme in certain dishes. You get that distinctive thymol aroma and taste for less money (I only buy spices at IndoPak stores), and you don’t have to pluck little “branches” out of your pot.

  183. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:13

    John Revolta said,
    February 26, 2013 at 2:42

    So, how does one go about “having one’s south pole blown off”?
    AF, you know, AF.

    Hang around a zone of the protoplanetary nebula that’s been stirred up by planetesimals scattering off of Jupiter, so that impacts are fast enough to break up larger accretions instead of adding to them. It’s surprising that Ceres got off almost unscathed.

    To be fair, it only became the south pole after the big impact, when that became the shortest axis. The same thing happened to Mars, but it was large enough that it’s still pretty round. The whole (mostly) northern hemisphere is a giant depression, though.

  184. eddie said,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:26

    DAMN YOU, TREKKIES!!!

    Never mind. Cerberus came a good second. Like a gent.

  185. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:30

    I would much rather have my south pole blown on.

    Also in pig-fucking news there is this: http://wonkette.com/502884/nice-christian-ladies-one-million-moms-very-angry-at-all-this-rampant-sexing-of-talking-pigs

    Reminds me of:

    I’m not a fig plucker
    I’m a fig pluckers son
    But I’ll pluck figs ’till
    the fig plucker comes.

    Say it fast.

  186. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:40

    At which point it will become a gang pluck?

    Can’t read the word without thinking of Molly Ivins.

  187. VCarlson said,

    February 26, 2013 at 3:54

    Can’t read the word without thinking of Molly Ivins.

    Too soon done for. Dammit.

  188. Cerberus said,

    February 26, 2013 at 4:05

    Don’t worry everybody. It’s not just nice short punches, regularly timed and conveniently spaced here at Sadly, No (like in the good old days)! We’re still down with crafting overly long monstrosities that take a fortnight to slog through.

    Because, that’s just how we roll.

    Also, new post.

  189. Smut Clyde said,

    February 26, 2013 at 4:26

    A big rock with an ass-space would be quite something to spot in one’s telescope.
    Moon-shot!

    I’m not a fig plucker
    I believe that “pheasant plucker” is the canonical version.

  190. Suzan said,

    March 6, 2013 at 19:23

    I can’t get enough of this line:

    “radiation treatment that was this last election “

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