Feb
13

Turning Water Into Whine




Posted at 8:51 by Gavin M.

 
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Above: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)

 

Stealing It

278 Comments »

  1. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 13, 2013 at 10:48

    Did I miss something?

    Eternal affirmative.

  2. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 13, 2013 at 11:08

    Fam/friends staked me out a Facebook page several years ago, but so far I’ve managed to ignore it completely.

    Assimilation is probably inevitable, but for now: whaaa?

  3. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 13, 2013 at 11:14

    Gav, I’d request baby pics, but HS-grad photos would probably be more appropriate given the distorted march of time hereabouts.

  4. Marsupial said,

    February 13, 2013 at 11:33

    I’ve missed the screen grabs of Gav’s browser. (You should really clear out that Inbox, maybe after you’ve checked out the Jennifer Connelly pix.)

  5. Stackozone said,

    February 13, 2013 at 11:41

    Marco Rubio, he haz his eyz on U!

  6. irishdave3 said,

    February 13, 2013 at 12:24

    So Marco “Blonde In Name Only” has established he’s NOT a Commie since you never see one of them drink water…Purity of Essence!

  7. Roxanne said,

    February 13, 2013 at 13:49

    ha.

  8. DAS said,

    February 13, 2013 at 14:52

    So according to Rubio, our Galtian overloards can’t give us jobs because everybody’s money is being lent to the federal government, leaving no money to invest in businesses? And all this uncertainty hurts the fee fees of our Galtian overloards leaving them impotent and unable to create jobs also, too?

    It’s as if nobody is investing in the stock market and everyone is sticking to government bonds (which would be a vote, as it were, for the powers of government and not private enterprise, wouldn’t it?).

    For the record, I would argue that indeed we do have a problem getting capital to certain businesses, home owners, etc. But the problem isn’t government debt so much as the dearth of reasonable interest rates on savings accounts (and before you blame the fed, it isn’t as if low fed rates are translating to low credit card rates): nobody saves anymore which means that banks can’t put some people’s savings in other people’s homes and businesses a la It’s a Wonderful Life.

    I.e. the problem is that we let Potter, in the guise of Neil Bush and McCain friend Charles Keating kill the S&L biz. I’m just waiting for them to figure out a way to kill credit unions.

  9. Oblios_Cap said,

    February 13, 2013 at 15:47

    Most Floridians have come to realize that Rubio is an empty suit. It was a shame that Jim Greer pled guilty – we were looking forward to seeing him name names regarding the RPOF’s dirty laundry.

    “Rubio has a drinking problem.” Har!

  10. Pryme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 16:05

    How many Republicans who have given the rebuttal to the SOTU ended up being serious presidential contenders? My first guess is NONE OF THEM, but I could be wrong.

  11. g said,

    February 13, 2013 at 16:17

    Actually, I feel for Marco. My mouth always gets dry when I’m lying, too.

  12. bughunter said,

    February 13, 2013 at 16:53

    PENIS is always on topic.

    Especially when we’re talking about Marco “Projected 2016 Alpha Phallus” Rubio.

  13. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 13, 2013 at 16:58

    I think it’s telling that they needed two rebuttals, Rubio and Rand Paul. IOW, Rubio isn’t teatarded enough for them.

  14. Spit-take said,

    February 13, 2013 at 17:03

    You’re doing it wrong.

  15. DAS said,

    February 13, 2013 at 17:47

    I’ve thought a little bit about uncertainty too: I guess uncertainty would be a problem if you have one business plan for good times economically and another for bad times. But uncertainty over the debt is not what would contribute to your inability to know whether good times or bad times are ahead (unless you either believe the deficit is the worst problem we have, in which case you are a fool anyway*, or you are smart enough to know that austerity measures are horrible and are unsure whether or not they will be implemented).

    * meanwhile Wynn, the casino magnate, is making a fool out of himself by claiming that real wages are going down (paychecks being “eroded” is how he put it) due to the federal government having to print extra money to satisfy federal debt. Last I checked the reason real wages are going down is that employers like him are not giving people raises even as housing costs are still higher (relative to the median wage) than they have historically been, energy costs are up and food costs are up … and none of these rising costs have anything to do with the feds printing money to pay the debt (well maybe a little due to devaluation of the dollar — but that’s a double edged sword as it would mean rising energy costs, but it would also mean more tourism and hence more money for Mr. Wynn and hence for his employees).

  16. Pryme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 17:47

    I think it’s telling that they needed two rebuttals,

    I think it’s cheating, personally. The GOP effectively gets more airtime to try and bamboozle the masses, and they get two different settings to do so: restrained crazy and unhinged crazy.

  17. Pupienus said,

    February 13, 2013 at 17:55

    * meanwhile Wynn, the casino magnate, is making a fool out of himself by claiming that real wages are going down (paychecks being “eroded” is how he put it) due to the federal government having to print extra money to satisfy federal debt

    I’ve heard that idiocy from a number of “conservatives.” Explaining to them that it has nothing to do with reality does nothing to dissuade them. They got religion.

  18. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:01

    I think it’s telling that they needed two rebuttals,

    I think its just another sign that the rift in the republican party between the anti regulation big business/big finance types and the anti abortion reactionary god botherers is widening.

  19. Everett Volk said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:07

    Holy Fuck! 193,000 fucking unopened emails? Now that is a backlog. On the other hand, fapping to Jennifer Connelly after licking a bunch of venomous toads probably could occupy most of one’s productive time.

  20. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:11

    F BOOK IZ A TOOL OF SATAN!
    ~

  21. nolo said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:17

    Best screen grab ever. “my metier,” indeed. Nicely done.

  22. tigris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:29

    I think it’s telling that they needed two rebuttals

    I blame the liberal media. And Obama.

    Seriously, though, I don’t care how many rebuttals they NEED, why do they GET two? The Tea party is NOT a real party, it’s a lunatic fringe of the only party that already gets to rebut. Why doesn’t Bernie Sanders or Angus King get a rebuttal?

  23. Pryme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:43

    F BOOK IZ A TOOL OF SATAN!

    You tend to rethink social media when someone you think you’re dating (i.e., “let’s go on a trip together”) suddenly updates their relationship status (with someone else) and doesn’t bother to tell you until after you mention it.

    You tend to rethink a lot more when it happens a second time.

  24. Jennifer said,

    February 13, 2013 at 18:44

    Actually, I feel for Marco. My mouth always gets dry when I’m lying, too.

    You’re being too kind. He needed that water to rinse the taste of the shit he was spewing out of his mouth.

  25. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:03

    The Tea party is NOT a real party

    Yet. But you never know your luck.

    (OK, I know there is a growing concern that we’ll become a one party nation and that would be bad and &c, &c. But how I can think of no way to stop the GOP from imploding. So … fuck ‘em. In a few years one or more parties will fill the vacuum.)

  26. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:11

    strike that “how” FYWP.

  27. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:19


    The Tea party is NOT a real party

    Yet. But you never know your luck.

    (OK, I know there is a growing concern that we’ll become a one party nation and that would be bad and &c, &c. But how I can think of no way to stop the GOP from imploding. So … fuck ‘em. In a few years one or more parties will fill the vacuum.)

    our nutjob local newspaper publisher, who took a MAJOR shellacking in this week’s letters btw, has the magnificent idea that instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party…can’t you just see how well that would work?!?!

  28. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:26

    also, too…wiley, thanks for the movie info…i will netflix ‘compliance’ this weekend…and shakezula…’left behind’ as porn = awesome…

  29. tigris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:33

    instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party

    Nobody’s MAKING him vote for the treason party.

  30. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:46

    the magnificent idea that instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party…can’t you just see how well that would work?!?!

    Um. No?

    But I don’t believe that we can (or should try) to keep the GOP’s still twitching corpse on life support.

    They’ve been actively chasing off voters who aren’t white Christian men for decades now. Aside from some brief post-election talk about why the stupid women and wogs won’t vote for them, they immediately start the same old shit.

    One of their brilliant solutions – Multi-dimensional Gerrymandering might keep them ahead in the House for a while, but that just means more lunatics poisoning the well for the entire party.

    And their other solution – Massive disenfranchisement efforts is making them even more unpopular.

    What can you do for a group like that?

  31. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:46

    Crap. 1st line should be blockquote.

  32. Pupienus said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:47

    Heh

    http://tinyurl.com/avnsm27

  33. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:53

    this is one of the other ‘gems’ we were treated to in this week’s ‘hooterville indigestion’:

    How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!
    “GOOD MORNING,
    WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ;
    “Press ’1′ for English ….
    ….Press ’2′ to disconnect until you learn to speak English .”
    And remember only two defining forces have ever
    Offered to die for you …
    Jesus Christ
    … And the American Soldier.
    One died for your soul,
    The other for your freedom.

  34. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 19:56

    They’ve been actively chasing off voters who aren’t white Christian men for decades now. Aside from some brief post-election talk about why the stupid women and wogs won’t vote for them, they immediately start the same old shit.

    If the Republican party does implode, I’m pretty sure the big finance/big business arm will seamlessly join the blue dog democrats and the remains of the DLC. The constituencies don’t go away even if the party does.

  35. tigris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:04

    All Jewish delis should TOTALLY change to that message. Also language schools.

  36. DAS said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:05

    in re how business phones should be answered — they forgot “so if English is good enough for American Soldiers and good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for you”

  37. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:17

    Ha ha libtards. But the fact is that Marco Rubio has gotten teh best of you here. Three years from now when Rubio is front and centre in the GOP primaries, you’ll be reaching into your old playbook to wreck him. And because we know that liberals aren’t creative, you’ll go back to your tired old tricks and try to make us think Rubio is a robot. But do robots drink water? NO, THEY DO NOT. Check and mate you dirty lie-berals. Might as well have Usurper X abdicate and let Rubio rule USA like G-d has ordained.

  38. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:19

    How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!
    “GOOD MORNING,
    WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ;
    “Press ’1? for English ….
    ….Press ’2? to disconnect until you learn to speak English .”
    And remember only two defining forces have ever.

    [Click!]

    Customer: Fuck it, I’ll order pizza somewhere else.

  39. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:25

    You forgot Poland Spring.

  40. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:25

    And remember only two defining forces have ever
    Offered to die for you …
    Jesus Christ
    … And the American Soldier.
    One died for your soul,
    The other for your freedom.

    And the common element is: I didn’t ask them to.

  41. Major Kong said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:27

    instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party

    And they could all wear really cool matching armbands….

  42. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:28

    I really can’t understand this buttrage over “Press 1 for English.” In the first place, NOBODY DOES THAT. Every phone menu I’ve ever encountered has English as the default language. You have to press a button if you want to hear Spanish. So WTF? Does not pressing that button constitute some sort of horrible physical or mental burden?

  43. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:28

    What can you do for a group like that?

    not much except point and laff…i’m all for more political parties than what we have…with the hopes that if we have more segmented parties, maybe people will begin acting out or being responsible for what they stand for…

    i just love that he always thinks a one party system, which would inlcude his other brilliant idea of having no primaries (we just all mutally agree on one candidate) really means that the wingnut party is the only party…and i’m pretty sure his candidate would be thomas sowell…

  44. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:31

    ….Press ’2? to disconnect until you learn to speak English write without comma splices, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

  45. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:39

    You have to press a button if you want to hear Spanish. So WTF? Does not pressing that button constitute some sort of horrible physical or mental burden?

    You are being assured that foreign earwax has made contact with the same organizations and that earwax is being transmitted straight to your fillings.

  46. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:42

    ….Press ’2? to disconnect until you learn to speak English write without comma splices, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

    and indeed…this was my favorite part of this week’s edition: never have i seen so many misspellings and incorrect word usage in the old man’s column…he, who always expounds on his professional journalism…

    and yeah, english usually is the default language…and it further proves that americans think they are the only fucking people and courntry that matter…who cares if’ you’re a global or foreign owned company? by dog all your customers or any person who has any contact with you better speak english or jeebus will cry…

    man, ‘murkens make me want to barf…

  47. Pupienus said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:43

    Does not pressing that button constitute some sort of horrible physical or mental burden?

    It’s not physical non-act of not pushing that causes the anguish. It’s the horror of realizing that NOT EVERYONE HATES DA MESCANS OMG.

  48. Major Kong said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:47

    bbkf

    That sounds like the kind of crap that my conservative “friends” are always posting on facebook.

  49. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:49

    Sounds like a reason to avoid the FB. Not that I have any conservative friends. But sometimes my Bible-Belt Bred spouse will leave his FB page up and Holy. Shit, must not break the monitor.

  50. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:56

    Maybe they think “para espanol, oprime el dos” means “you’re a redneck moron.”

  51. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 20:59

    Maybe they think “para espanol, oprime el dos” means “you’re a redneck moron.”

    this is another thing about furriners that upsets these wingnuts: they do not know what they are saying…and, since the wingnuts are true americans, chock full of exceptionalism, of course all the furriner’s attention is on them…my god, they’re americans! who wouldn’t want to be them…and then they realize, ‘oh…i bet they’re making fun of me!’

  52. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:00

    and furthermore, in certain areas of our country, they may be speaking english, but it ain’t no english i ever learned…when your american reality show needs subtitles…

  53. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:01

    and then they realize, ‘oh…i bet they’re making fun of me!’

    Of course it can go the other way too. There are gringo bosses who believe that the Spanish for “right away, sir” is “chinga tu madre.

  54. DAS said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:03

    There are gringo bosses who believe that the Spanish for “right away, sir” is “chinga tu madre.“

    Well if your mom happens to be fast and easy …

  55. bbkf said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:19

    Well if your mom happens to be fast and easy …

    dkw would like her number…or he’s already had a crack at her…

  56. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:22

    I would like to hear how the psychoactive toad venom was. I need no explanation about Jennifer Connelly.

  57. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:25

    when your american reality show needs subtitles…

    Have you met Jim Tom?

  58. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:35

    Nothing has frustrated me more than false choices like the one the President laid out *sip gulp glug glug glug*

    That’s a pretty hefty statement there. The awkward pause just before the big reveal – maybe it was intentional. To build tension. Hmmm, let’s see where else something like that could have worked:

    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are *slurp chug chug chug*

    We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because *ssssip lipsmack ahhhh*

    I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by *glugagluga gulp glugagluga gulp*

    If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
    He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
    No. I *click-click-click-hisssss (mask comes off) sip swallow cough cough*

  59. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:39

    dkw would like her number…or he’s already had a crack at her…

    Well to be perfectly honest, I *reaches off camera, slurp, chuga chuga chug chug*

  60. VCarlson said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:50

    Have you met Jim Tom?

    I could understand him without the subtitles. I guess a lifetime of visiting family in TX will do that to for you. Also, living in the south for a total of 10 years (TX& FL, though I’ve been informed neither is the “true South*”).

    *I think, to be the “true South,” your state had to have had plantations as your main economic driver during a Certain Period.

  61. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 13, 2013 at 21:55

    Oh yeah, baby, almost there. Oh yeah, yeah! I’m *reaches off camera, slurp, chuga chuga chug chug*

  62. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 13, 2013 at 22:12

    I shouldn’t be surprised that the mere thought of Rubio’s “O” face is enough to kill the thread.

  63. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 13, 2013 at 22:37

    And remember only two defining forces

    What the fuck does “defining forces” even mean? The phrase reads like something a subliterate buffoon would write in order to sound profound. I mean, really, WTF does it mean?

  64. tigris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 22:43

    I’m not sure, but apparently they’re suicidal.

  65. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 13, 2013 at 22:54

    Slurp slurp
    Chugga chugga
    Big red car
    We’ll travel near
    And we’ll travel far…

  66. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 13, 2013 at 22:57

    Apparently they are also different from the thousands of animals that have died to feed me, or the thousands more that have died in pharmaceutical tests.

  67. bughunter said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:14

    So if a center-right President’s SOTU speech gives the far-right and over-the-horizon right “parties” the right to a rebuttal, why don’t we progressives get a rebuttal?

    I mean, why can’t Ralph Nader or even Thom Hartmann have a turn too, eh? And what the hell, why not the Green Party, Peace and Freedom, PETA and the fucking Nation of Islam while we’re at it? What entitles the granny-starving teabaggers to get a national audience just because the president does? None of the other persons or groups I’ve mentioned are as loony or mendacious as the Tea Party.

    This is getting pathetic. The president gets to address the nation because he is the goddamn president, elected by a majority of electors and a majority of the popular vote. The rest of you whiners can just STFU until you have somebody in the Oval Office, and I’ve said that consistently regardless of who’s in the White House.

  68. bughunter said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:16

    Oh, and Styx is catching up on Cerb.

    Remember: Vote for Cerberus at least once a day thru 2/25!

  69. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:17

    None of the other persons or groups I’ve mentioned are as loony or mendacious as the Tea Party.

    I recommend a perusal of the Nation of Islam’s literature.

  70. VCarlson said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:17

    The mothers who died in childbirth
    The fire/safety/paramedics who died on the job
    The women in the shirtwaist factory fire
    The people dying by inches in sweatshops every day

    Just off the top of my head.

  71. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:18

    Because we’re not stupid bickering children?

  72. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:20

    However, Nation of Islam is only progressive if you compare it to the Taliban.

  73. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:24

    Bitter tears of Jenghazi:

    “President Obama is a great orator.”

    Not since the 2008 has he given a speech from which one can recall a line or a phrase. That really the only moment that made a connection during the State of the Union had to do with a issue low on voters’ minds and was uttered from behind a lineup of human props (and gun victims) tells you how limited his rhetorical vocabulary really is.

    Take it away, common tater:

    KHM1956
    4:16 PM EST

    Okay, let me understand this. Obama won in 2012 because he bamboozled everyone with his rhetoric about “class warfare” and “free stuff.”
    But he’s a terrible orator, and no one remembers anything he ever says.

    ~

  74. Shakezula said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:28

    Recalling the speeches is much easier if you don’t sit there chanting LALALALAL I CAN’T HEAR YOOOOOO!”

  75. VCarlson said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:31

    I didn’t watch, so it took me a few refs to figure out wtf the water bottle signified.

    That said, I’m losing track. Rubio spoke for the loony right as represented officially by the GOP, not the loony right without the social controls as represented officially by the “Tea Party,” which is a subgroup of the GOP, right?

    I’m pretty sure the main difference between “mainstream” GOP and “TP” GOP is the “mainstream” GOP knows it’s socially impermissible (so far) to actually come out and say what they want. The TPers just say it. Face it – the merely conservative in the GOP long since decamped to the Dems.

  76. Chris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:32

    this is another thing about furriners that upsets these wingnuts: they do not know what they are saying

    Look, I’m sorry, but if you just heard the words “for English, press one” and your keenly honed Holmesian deductive training can’t figure out what the words “para Espanol, oprime el dos” mean when spoken right after that…

    … just… kill yourself.

  77. tigris said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:34

    Not since the 2008 has he given a speech from which one can recall a line or a phrase

    Well, Lord knows I can’t because I don’t watch those things, but I have heard people who did quote lines/phrases from several of the past speeches, so maybe “total no-recall” is only true of brain-damaged morons who wake up to a brand new world each day.

  78. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:34

    Oh, and Styx is catching up on Cerb.

    Remember: Vote for Cerberus at least once a day thru 2/25!

    I voted for Cerberus, but I also submitted a form for “Yuggoth”. **DUCKS** Sorry, I have divided loyalties… **SOB**

  79. VCarlson said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:41

    Look, I’m sorry, but if you just heard the words “for English, press one” and your keenly honed Holmesian deductive training can’t figure out what the words “para Espanol, oprime el dos” mean when spoken right after that…

    I think the problem for these folks is they don’t hear “para Español …” to make the deduction because they are too busy being consumed in a red rage at the thought that English (the original language of God, the Bible, and all Real Americans) isn’t the only choice.

  80. bughunter said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:42

    Because we’re not stupid bickering children?
    HA! That depends on who you include in the first person plural pronoun.

    However, Nation of Islam is only progressive if you compare it to the American Taliban.
    Fixed for enlightenment.

    I recommend a perusal of the Nation of Islam’s literature.
    Whoosh. See above.
    .

  81. bughunter said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:44

    Sorry, I have divided loyalties…

    ‘sOK. They need two winners. Cerberus and Yuggoth FTW!

  82. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:48

    Not since the 2008 has he given a speech from which one can recall a line or a phrase.

    That’s hilarious! Charles Krauthammer said something almost identical to that after the inaugural address. These people really don’t think for themselves. They don’t even have a hive mind, they have a hive ass, from which they pull all sorts of bullshit.

    I think this line will be long remembered:

    We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths—that all of us are created equal—is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls and Selma and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on earth.

  83. VCarlson said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:53

    ‘sOK. They need two winners. Cerberus and Yuggoth FTW!

    I’ve been voting Cerberus (which my local paper calls “Cerebrus”) and Erebus.

  84. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 13, 2013 at 23:57

    ‘sOK. They need two winners. Cerberus and Yuggoth FTW!

    Oh, happy day!

  85. Shakezula said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:09

    However, Nation of Islam is only progressive if you compare it to the American Taliban Aryan Nation 88.

    Revised to reduce hyperbole, increase accuracy.

  86. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:12

    Whoosh. See above.

    For looniness the Nation of Islam beats the Tea Party. They got UFOs and mad scientists!

  87. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:18

    Look, I’m sorry, but if you just heard the words “for English, press one” and your keenly honed Holmesian deductive training can’t figure out what the words “para Espanol, oprime el dos” mean when spoken right after that…

    I believe the literal translation is something along these lines “To sell Florida, Texas, Puerto Rico Arizona, New Mexico Colorado and Utah back to their most Imperial and Catholic Majesties King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella and their heirs in perpetuity no take backsies amen, and furthermore to deny the millions of red blooded Americans whose last names don’t end in a vowel and tend to burn if they stay out in the sun too long, justice for that time they were shorted the sour cream or gotten spicy taco sauce when they distinctly asked for mild at the Taco Bell drive through press 2″

  88. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:18

    Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? Hoo boy, ding dong dilly, did Rockin’ Rubio ever kick you klowns right in your keisters! Badoodle-boo-yeah! You silly socialists were all “ooh, ooh, Obummer’s so awesome, he’s so great,” like your dumbo Lame Stream MSM Media, when the reality of the matter was, Rockin’ Rubio was slicin’ and dicin’ you dorkus malorkuses all over the place! SPREAD of TRUTH, ya dig?

    Suck on that, jabronis! Urban out.

  89. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:42

    Catholic Majesties King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella

    In honor of the day…YOU MISSED A SPOT! Or two, more precisely.

  90. DAS said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:47

    But do either Aryan Nation 88 or the Tea Party produce and sell bean pies or have snazzy bow ties?

  91. DAS said,

    February 14, 2013 at 0:49

    Not since the 2008 has he given a speech from which one can recall a line or a phrase

    In general, I can’t recall much in the way of eloquence (nor how to spell that word) from modern day presidential speeches: while there have been many a memorable line or phrase from presidential speeches, most of them are remembered for their laugh or cringe inducing potential.

  92. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 1:40

    http://townhall.com/columnists/nealboortz/2013/02/13/why-the-liberal-hatred-of-citizens-with-guns-n1511221/page/full/

    You’re snug in your cabin in the mountains outside of Big Bear, California. Snug, but fearful. They’re searching for a killer near you. A terrifying, heavily armed former cop from Los Angeles who has gone on a killing rampage.

    Suddenly you hear gunshots. You part the curtains to look outside … and there’s the man whose picture you’ve seen countless times on TV over the past few days running toward your house as he returns fire to police officers in pursuit.

    Just a few weeks ago you had been considering buying an AR-15 just in case it might be needed to defend your home from predators of the two and the four-legged variety. They don’t call the place Big Bear for nothing. You couldn’t buy one, though, because private ownership of these weapons had been outlawed. That didn’t stop the killer. He was carrying one … that along with several pistols. The law didn’t seem to deter him at all. The murderer was still far enough away that you could stop him with one shot through your window, but that option had been taken away by anti-gun zealots.

    Somehow you don’t feel comfortable with only your handgun and it’s seven-shot magazine to protect you from this approaching danger. You know the killer, who is rapidly nearing your door, is much more heavily armed than you. Things aren’t looking all that rosy for you and your family right now.

    Why did this have to happen? Why were these liberals — these Democrats — so hell-bent on reducing your capacity to act in your own self-defense in a situation just such as this?

    Interesting question, isn’t it?

  93. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 1:44

    For looniness the Nation of Islam beats the Tea Party. They got UFOs and mad scientists!

    Have you ever listened to late-night radio in the States?

  94. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 1:47

    Somehow you don’t feel comfortable with only your handgun and it’s seven-shot magazine to protect you from this approaching danger. You know the killer, who is rapidly nearing your door, is much more heavily armed than you. Things aren’t looking all that rosy for you and your family right now.

    As things seem to be turning out (no positive ID made, doncha know), a can of gas and a burning rag seem to have been a better defense.

    It’s funny how reality stepped on this article’s dick.

  95. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 1:52

    Why did this have to happen? Why were these liberals — these Democrats — so hell-bent on reducing your capacity to act in your own self-defense in a situation just such as this?

    Dear Penthouse Forum -

    I never thought it would happen to me, but I ran out of bullets just when I needed them most…

  96. bughunter said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:12

    More Kneeling Boor projection:

    What amazing arrogance! Liberals (the more self-aggrandizing among them prefer the term “progressives” – I just call them “progs” or “proggies”) have the most dangerous of superiority complexes … superiority complexes coupled with power.

    What skullnumbed arrogance. Gun nuts (the more self-aggrandizing among them prefer the term “2nd Amendment defenders” – I just call them “gun fetishists” or “pencil dicks”) have the most dangerous of inferiority complexes… inferiority complexes coupled with paranoia and a shrill echo chamber media.

    Seriously? This motherfucker believes that the right for a minority to play vigilante in situations that –while ubiquitous in pencil-dicked delusions– are more rare than meteorites, outweighs the right of all of us to be free from flying bullets in malls, schools, churches, movie theatres, shopping malls, political rallies, post offices, corporate offices, and Starbucks?

    Reality: Taking this guy out is the police’s job. Not yours. This guy gunned down cops with the precision of a sniper, cops who never once hit him in return. You aim a gun at him and you’re going to be his next victim. And unless you’re a cop, he’s not gunning for you. Your best bet is to give him the keys to your pickup and as soon as he drives off, dial 911. That’s not just good advice, it’s what the police will tell you to do.

    And besides, if you’ve really got the drop on him… if you’ve really got the opportunity to take the first shot before he sees you, you don’t want an assault rifle. You want a high powered hunting rifle with a scope. Which no one is threatening to take away from you. If you fire at him with an AR or an AK, two outcomes dominate the likely outcomes: 1) you’re going to miss and then he’s going to kill you with one shot, or 2) you’re not going to penetrate his body armor and then he’s going to kill you with one shot.

    Not just a deluded pencil dicked gun fetishist, but a poor excuse for one, to boot.

  97. tigris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:17

    Dear Penthouse Forum -

    I never thought it would happen to me, but I ran out of bullets just when I needed them most…

    For real. Whose brain is SO FUCKING BORING that this is their go-to fantasy material?

  98. Chris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:23

    Why did this have to happen? Why were these liberals — these Democrats — so hell-bent on reducing your capacity to act in your own self-defense in a situation just such as this?

    Could be that we liberals – we Democrats – acting in concert with the United Nations One-World Government, the Global Muslim Caliphate, the Eurosocialfagocracy, and our armies of nonwhite ACORN voters – orchestrated this entire thing specifically so that you could die.

    I kind of like that idea, to be honest with you. I can only deplore the fact that it doesn’t seem to have worked.

  99. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:51

    Speaking as a “Proggie,” I admit my fervent dream is to ban private ownership of firearms, with the exceptions of handguns, rifles, and shotguns built to 19th century specifications and standards. You have to reload after 6 or 7 shots, *max*, and to own (no more than, say, 5 total firearms per adult) them, you have to register them and yourself, and you have to pass regular (no less often than once every five years) tests of knowledge and ability, said tests being federally administered.

    Some might say these are pretty restrictive dreams. My response to that is “They weren’t so restrictive untill Certain Assholes started defining the 2nd as ‘I get to own military-style hardware and show up at public gatherings armed.’ IOW, you pushed too far.”

  100. Major Kong said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:57

    Somehow you don’t feel comfortable with only your handgun and it’s seven-shot magazine to protect you from this approaching danger.

    Since John Moses Browning, long may he be praised, perfected the handgun when he designed the Colt Model 1911 to hold 7 rounds, nobody should ever need more than 7 rounds.

  101. g said,

    February 14, 2013 at 2:58

    Suddenly you hear gunshots. You part the curtains to look outside … and there’s the man whose picture you’ve seen countless times on TV over the past few days running toward your house as he returns fire to police officers in pursuit.

    Well, well, well. So, there you are in your cabin, and outside an armed criminal is exchanging gunfire with armed police officers.

    Now, if you had that AR-15 and stepped outside and started using it — nay, even if you simply SHOWED it – what do you suppose would happen?

    Any guesses?

  102. Chris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:02

    Some might say these are pretty restrictive dreams. My response to that is “They weren’t so restrictive untill Certain Assholes started defining the 2nd as ‘I get to own military-style hardware and show up at public gatherings armed.’ IOW, you pushed too far.”

    This.

    All things being equal I’d be happy to sit down and talk about a reasonable ground between “ban everything” and “let’s become Somalia!” but that requires that the other side actually be willing to deal in good faith, which they are definitely not, so fuck it, let’s just push for as much as we can get.

  103. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:04

    Now, if you had that AR-15 and stepped outside and started using it — nay, even if you simply SHOWED it – what do you suppose would happen?

    Any guesses?

    The rational guess would be “you die in a hail of gunfire from the cops *and* the Bad Guy,” but the adolescent fever dream is “the Bad Guy immediately surrenders,” or, more likely, “you get to kill the Bad Guy, bang! bang! he’s dead!”

  104. Chris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:13

    Any guesses?

    The criminal stares and sees you, recognizing you for the badass you are. There’s a dramatic moment where you both pause and glare at each other, all his hateful hate and all your icy badassness reflected in the camera closing in on your eyes. Then you draw and fire at the same time, both running for cover, both missing, until you’re both out of bullets. At that point you attack him and it descends into an improbably cool looking brawl concluded by you roundhouse-kicking the other guy in the FACE and knocking him out for the count. Because he’s a sneaky son of a bitch who actually had a backup weapon, he draws it and tries to kill you, but your Spider-sense sees (senses?) it coming and you jump out of the way, twist around to face him and pull your own concealed piece all once, timing it perfectly so that you can shoot him in the heart while you’re still in midair.

    The cops who’ve been innocent bystanders this whole time congratulate you, and the credits roll shortly thereafter.

    (You may even get a medal, but your sidekick won’t, even if he’s probably the voice-of-your-conscience reason you turned out to be a hero in the end, because fuck Wookiees, that’s why).

  105. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:17

    Speaking as a “Proggie,” I admit my fervent dream is to ban private ownership of firearms, with the exceptions of handguns, rifles, and shotguns built to 19th century specifications and standards.

    Heritage-wise, I’m a quarter-Swiss, so I’d give you a choice of having a Lucerne hammer or a halberd. You could have a crossbow only if you can shoot an apple off your kid’s head.

  106. Cerberus said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:37

    So while wingnuts are whining about how their precious penis extenders are being glanced at unfavorably or how Marco Rubio, Ted Nugent, or Rand Paul were “done wrong” by “Obama’s media”, and other super important real oppression events, I’m sitting here dealing with the totally made-up and non-existent oppression of probably being fired soon from my job for being trans.

    Somehow I’m having a difficult time sympathizing with these fuckers right now. I don’t know why.

  107. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:38

    “you get to kill the Bad Guy, bang! bang! he’s dead!”

    There are an uncomfortably large number of people in this country who wank to the thought of killing someone.

  108. Major Kong said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:38

    I’m sitting here dealing with the totally made-up and non-existent oppression of probably being fired soon from my job for being trans.

    That sucks.

  109. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:50

    The cops who’ve been innocent bystanders this whole time congratulate you, and the credits roll shortly thereafter.

    You forgot the part where Megan Fox swoons into his arms.

  110. bughunter said,

    February 14, 2013 at 3:50

    I’m sitting here dealing with the totally made-up and non-existent oppression of probably being fired soon from my job for being trans.

    I’ve been in that situation, although for a different reason… still, one that was invalid, divorced from merit, and potentially illegal.

    So I know it is demoralizing, not knowing just when the axe is going to fall, but not being able to leave without giving up unemployment benefits while looking for new work.

    [Hugs for Cerb]

    It gets better. Keep your spirits up!

  111. bughunter said,

    February 14, 2013 at 4:05

    Steve Benen, from MaddowBlog (links copied from original):

    At this point, nearly every Republican member of Congress is saying the sequestration cuts will happen, and the GOP will simply tolerate the damage. These comments, in particular, were literally unbelievable.

    Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) on Wednesday predicted the sequester would take effect, blaming President Obama and Senate Democrats for not offering an alternative or passing a budget.

    “Because the Senate has not acted, because the president has not put a proposal yet on the table, that is why I think the sequester will probably occur,” Ryan told “CBS’s This Morning.” “We have acted in the House. The Senate has not, the president has not, and that is why I think it will happen.”

    Translation: Wall Street and other major Corporate Donors to the GOP have finalized positioning their finances to minimize their losses in the event of a sequester, and are no longer keeping a leash on their rabid dogs in the House, who as usual are relying on ITS ALWAYS PROJECTION for their logic and cover.

    Prediction: This one is going to bite them in the ass, shoot them in the foot, and tread on their dick all at the same time.

  112. Cerberus said,

    February 14, 2013 at 4:16

    bughunter -

    Alternate translation:

    “We’re pretty sure the media won’t hold our feet to the fire for trying to go full on anarchist and hey, it’s not like we’re not poor enough to actually be affected by any of this… hey, we still own the cops, right?”

  113. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 4:56

    , I’m sitting here dealing with the totally made-up and non-existent oppression of probably being fired soon from my job for being trans.

    Cerb, that’s awful. Do you have any legal recourse?

  114. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:26

    I feel for you, Cerb. Try not to get discouraged. Sometimes a break really does come when you don’t expect it.

  115. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:27

    Any guesses?

    No guessing needed: sparkleponies for everyone! I mean what else could possibly happen?

  116. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:33

    Whoa. I know haiku.

    First day of work in two weeks that hasn’t completely kicked my ass. Noice.
    .

  117. Smut Clyde said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:38

    Now, if you had that AR-15 and stepped outside and started using it — nay, even if you simply SHOWED it – what do you suppose would happen?

    The evidence suggests that if you are holed up in your cabin, heavily armed with assault rifles and sniper rifles and a hoard of ammunition, your assailants will fire a few inflammable teargas cylinders and accidently burn you to death.

  118. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:42

    Betcha a dollah that SNL will have a boxing corner-person lean in, give the Rubio impersonator a swig, who then spits it into a funnel-bucket. I mean, after the creepy what-he-did.
    .

  119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 5:46

    The evidence suggests that if you are holed up in your cabin, heavily armed with assault rifles and sniper rifles and a hoard of ammunition, your assailants will fire a few inflammable teargas cylinders and accidently burn you to death.

    It’s Njal’s Saga all over again.

  120. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 6:03

    The evidence suggests that if you are holed up in your cabin, heavily armed with assault rifles and sniper rifles and a hoard of ammunition, your assailants will fire a few inflammable teargas cylinders and accidently burn you to death.

    Now that you put it that way, the heavily-armed guy you saw on TV is probably a member of the team assigned to stopping your rampage. And yeah, experience suggests the solution will be one of those “tear gas” canisters designed to start a nasty fire.

  121. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 6:06

    … assigned to stop your rampage.

    English, I can haz talk it.

  122. g said,

    February 14, 2013 at 6:31

    In the scenario the townhall knucklehead described – hiding in your cabin while an armed killer engaged in a firefight with the cops rushes toward your location – having a firearm in your possession is probably the LEAST safe option; virtually insuring you will become collateral damage. You’d be lucky to be only severely wounded or tasered, rather than killed.

    In that scenario, the most sensible option would be to lie flat on the ground with your arms and legs spread.

    I think these scenarios emerge from the feverswamp of narcissism. For one thing, the writer imagines that it’s ALL ABOUT HIM. T

    he armed killer running toward his cabin is focused on HARMING HIM!!!! No, actually, the armed killer doesn’t really give a fuck about you, just wants some material thing you own to help him flee the cops who ALSO don’t give a fuck about you. and if you give it to him and let him get away, be passive and provide info to the cops, you’ll be just fine.

    They just can’t accept being put in a passive mode.

  123. g said,

    February 14, 2013 at 6:40

    Actually, I can just imagine it……

    Wingnut: “Don’t you come in my cabin or I’ll shoot!”

    Dorner: “WhattheFuck?”

    Wingnut: “In the name of the Second Amendment, I command you to halt! I am STanding My Ground!”

    Dorner: “Shit, man, who the fuck are you? I don’t have time for this. Gimme your car keys.”

    Wingnut: “I’m a trained marksman and I will defend myself!”

    Dorner: “OK, man, I really don’t have anything against civilians, but you are slowing me down.”

    BANG!

  124. Mr. Roark's Brand Salad Dressing's Poops said,

    February 14, 2013 at 7:09

    I’d like to put Rubio on this album cover:

    I GET WET

  125. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    February 14, 2013 at 7:53

    You can lead an idiot to water … & when you do, THIS happens.

    (CUE: in late 2019, President Rubio, learning that Russia & China have launched a massive all-out surprise attack on America, immediately reaches for the Nuclear Football … & reaches … & reeeeeeeeeaches … )

  126. M. Bouffant said,

    February 14, 2013 at 9:18

    I recommend a perusal of the Nation of Islam’s literature.
    You’ll never convince me that white people are not the decadent invention of some fool scientist messing around w/ forces he couldn’t control.

  127. M. Bouffant said,

    February 14, 2013 at 9:22

    this is another thing about furriners that upsets these wingnuts: they do not know what they are saying…and, since the wingnuts are true americans, chock full of exceptionalism, of course all the furriner’s attention is on them…my god, they’re americans! who wouldn’t want to be them…and then they realize, ‘oh…i bet they’re making fun of me!’
    So true. Long ago when I had a job one of my fellow honky wage-slaves (an otherwise nice lady in her 60s) told me she didn’t like it when other languages were spoken, because she thought they were talking about her.

  128. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 9:29

    I finally watched a longer clip of Rubio. Even more off-putting than his aqualunge is a bit about a minute earlier when he wipes the corners of his mouth with his fingers.

  129. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 15:31

    I hope he held his pinky out, like a gentleman.

  130. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 15:43

    On the topic of guns, LaPierre is truly batshit insane: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/02/13/1186956/-Open-thread-for-night-owls-The-NRA-s-Wayne-LaPierre-unhinged-and-unchained

  131. Austin Loomis said,

    February 14, 2013 at 16:18

    M. Bouffant skrev:

    You’ll never convince me that white people are not the decadent invention of some fool scientist messing around w/ forces he couldn’t control.

    Relevant.

  132. deering said,

    February 14, 2013 at 16:33

    “Even more off-putting than his aqualunge is a bit about a minute earlier when he wipes the corners of his mouth with his fingers.”

    Ugh. Bad enough I can’t forget Paul Wolfowitz licking his comb and running it through his hair on-camera.

  133. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 16:42

    Paul Wolfowitz licking his comb

    Where do you think Rubio’s bottle came from?

  134. Shakezula said,

    February 14, 2013 at 16:45

    So there I was getting my jollies over a copy of Guns & Ammo.

    And I saw an armed killer charging towards my house.

    And I was such an evolutionary dead-end that I lacked the bloody fight/flight/freeze reflexes possessed by every living thing with a spinal cord.

    Instead I stood there thinking about guns and feeling miffed because liberals didn’t .

    The End.

  135. deering said,

    February 14, 2013 at 17:01

    N_B. Thanks. Ever so…

  136. bbkf said,

    February 14, 2013 at 17:09

    okay, imma post this hack job right here…since it’s zombie related, i may be getting ahemed, but i have a 10:00 meeting to get ready for so don’t have time to catch up with teh tred…

    also, too…the daughter got first, second and third in her swimming events last evening…she’s awesome…

  137. DAS said,

    February 14, 2013 at 17:10

    You’ll never convince me that white people are not the decadent invention of some fool scientist messing around w/ forces he couldn’t control. – M. Bouffant

    Speaking as a white person, I agree with this. In fact we aren’t a very good invention either. Sunburn is no fun. And MC1R deficiency also has its particular drawbacks: mostly for those who have to live with us hot-headed gingers.

  138. Thread Bear said,

    February 14, 2013 at 17:44

    if guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns

    Of course, that’s mostly because LaPierre and the NRA work very hard to make sure outlaws have easy access to guns. Nothing sells guns faster than the having the fear of outlaws with guns.

  139. Thread Bear said,

    February 14, 2013 at 17:45

    the having

  140. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:04

    If laws are outgunned only outgunners will have laws.

    Hey! Math’s commutative property works on stupidity, too.

  141. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:07

    Nothing sells guns faster than the having the fear of outlaws with guns.

    Relevant

  142. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:09

    If anyone is in need of some depression, join me in listening to The Threepenny Opera. Brecht was one of those shits who would sell his mother if the movement asked him to, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t accurately describe how people act, and Blitzstein’s free-form translation is a masterpiece. Pirate Jenny, the Tango Ballad, and How to Survive have more political truth in them than every word uttered Tuesday night combined.

  143. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:30

    Und ein Schiff mit acht Segeln und mit fünfzig Kanonen wird liegen am Kai.

  144. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:34

    Fuckin’ A, Bubba Lotte.

  145. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 18:38

    There’s also the fun of listening to Bea Arthur, Charlotte Rae, and John Astin singing on the original US cast soundtrack…

  146. John Revolta said,

    February 14, 2013 at 19:41

    John Astin singing on the original US cast soundtrack…

    Damn……………..who knew? It doesn’t even mention it in his wikipedia bio but yeah, it’s the same guy.

    Is it any wonder that I love it here? Now I have to find a recording.

  147. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 19:46

    I confess I had to look up Kanonen.

  148. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 19:50

    Astin’s mostly in the chorus, although there’s one moment where you hear him clear as a bell saying “The swine!”

  149. Pupienus said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:28

    Hey you Nu Yawkuhs – I recommended Pok Pok before but shit just got real.

  150. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:38

    Dirty Harry only need six shots but then again he knew how to shoot. These modern pants-pissers are a bunch of worthless cowards. Hell, I think I will brave the roaming street gangs and communist invaders and go gas up my car.

  151. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:47

    Hell, I think I will brave the roaming street gangs and communist invaders and go gas up my car.

    Don’t forget the uppity women (and blahs), who are probably the reason these guys (and it’s mostly guys) need the handguns.

  152. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:51

    And MC1R deficiency also has its particular drawbacks: mostly for those who have to live with us hot-headed gingers.

    Us soulless hotheaded gingers. Freckles are better than a stupid ol’ soul anyway.

  153. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:56

    If anyone is in need of some depression, join me in listening to The Threepenny Opera.

    For depression, I’ll see you your Threepenny Opera and raise you Townes Van Zandt’s Marie as sung by Willy Nelson.

  154. VCarlson said,

    February 14, 2013 at 20:56

    Hey you Nu Yawkuhs – I recommended Pok Pok before but shit just got real.

    Since the link went nowhere for me, I put “pok pok” in the search machine, which kindly gave me a link to a capsule (I love smart machines, except then they scare me – they know far too much about me by now). The review on top was by a woman who doesn’t like chicken (it doesn’t appeal to her pallet [sic] – here’s where smart machines aren’t so smart), and since most dishes are chicken, she gave it a fair to middling score, which doesn’t seem quite right, somehow.

  155. Chris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 21:07

    You’ll never convince me that white people are not the decadent invention of some fool scientist messing around w/ forces he couldn’t control

    God the Father, Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

  156. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 21:30

    When Yakub was handing out white deviltry Bouffant went back for seconds.

  157. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 14, 2013 at 21:37

    If anyone is in need of some depression, join me in listening to The Threepenny Opera.

    I’m partial to “If Sharks Were Men” myself.

  158. M. Bouffant said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:02

    When Yakub was handing out white deviltry Bouffant went back for seconds.
    I have been called a white devil.

    By a black guy who was panhandling. I rewarded him amply for his sense of humor.

  159. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:07

    White Devil Paint – for those times when beige isn’t pale enough.

  160. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:18

    If it’s depression you want, rent or stream any movie directed by Atom Egoyan.

  161. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:28

    Here!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JlZ9E1p_sU

  162. Pupienus said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:36

    Speaking of sunlight and depresion and shit, how’s your vitamin D, OBS? Ya seen tomorrow’s forecast? Over 60 degrees, sunny. WTF??? This is February in Oregon for FSM sake, that can’t be right! Imma goin riding wif my ridin buds, maybe down Silver Falls way.

  163. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:39

    Speaking of sunlight and depresion and shit, how’s your vitamin D, OBS? Ya seen tomorrow’s forecast? Over 60 degrees, sunny. WTF??? This is February in Oregon for FSM sake, that can’t be right! Imma goin riding wif my ridin buds, maybe down Silver Falls way.

    Yeah, I’ve been riding my bike (pedal) all week long — it’s been great. I may have to dust off the motorcycle tomorrow.

    Still taking vitamin D every day though.

  164. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 14, 2013 at 22:52

    K-Lo:

    Have you ever seen a man more at peace than Pope Benedict XVI?

    Why yes, and I wish him rest in that same kind of peace.

  165. Smut Clyde said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:03

    join me in listening to The Threepenny Opera.
    Now I am having flashbacks to a series of McDonalds advertisements yonks ago that appropriated Teh Ballad of Mack the Knife.

  166. Shakezula said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:04

    “It’s the smile of the mystical body of Christ.”

    Um. Yeah. Is this woman aware that the average right-wing looney really, really, really, really, really, REALLY does not care for the Roman Catholic Church, at all? Not even a little bit.

  167. tigris said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:22

    “It’s the smile of the mystical body of Christ.”

    Wow, Jesus is fucking CREEPY.

  168. N__B said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:34

    Jesus is fucking CREEPY.

    He’s a zombie cult leader. What did you expect?

  169. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:45

    Is this woman aware that the average right-wing looney really, really, really, really, really, REALLY does not care for the Roman Catholic Church, at all?

    Actually, I think they’ve gotten better in that regard. They still have that “Y’all worship Mary, right?” ignorance, but the RCC is way down on their list of hated things, below feminazis, gays, libruls, etc.

  170. Shakezula said,

    February 14, 2013 at 23:54

    They used to hate all of those things equally. Progress!

    I suspect once there is no longer a blackity black PotUS, they’ll return to their regularly scheduled program of hating EVERYONE who is different.

  171. CRA said,

    February 15, 2013 at 0:34

    And remember only two defining forces have ever
    Offered to die for you …

    Make that three, if you count Prince: I Would Die 4 U”

    Neither Jesus nor the American soldier offers to die for you while wearing assless pants.

  172. bughunter said,

    February 15, 2013 at 0:35

    Oh, my. Cerberus has fallen to a close third.

    The SETI Institute’s addition of “Vulcan” at Bill Shatner’s request has created a sudden new front runner, and Styx has overtaken Cerberus again.

    They need two names, so there can be two vote winners. (The SETI Institute discovered the moons, so they get to select the names to submit to the International Astronomical Union.)

    Vote for Cerberus and beat Styx!

  173. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 15, 2013 at 0:36

    He’s a zombie cult leader. What did you expect?

    He’ll kill ya if ya don’t get along.

  174. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:01

    I am having a fun Valentine’s day evening: on the phone with Dell because a hard-drive on my front-end machine for my computer cluster’s busted (evidently I was supposed to do something to set up the mirroring properly and the drive is somehow not mirrored) and whatever took that hard drive down took down 3 of the compute nodes as well.

    Fortunately, my wife doesn’t believe in Valentine’s day because Valentine was a Christian Saint and what not, so I am off the hook in that regard. Still, there are places I’d much rather be than in our university’s computer room on hold with Dell Tech Support.

  175. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:04

    Neither Jesus nor the American soldier offers to die for you while wearing assless pants.

    How can you be so sure?

  176. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:08

    Joe Klein wasn’t impressed by the SOTU. Publishing that stupid slam on Clinton anonymously was the only intelligent thing that ass ever did.

  177. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:46

    Fortunately, my wife doesn’t believe in Valentine’s day

    It’s on the Mayan calendar and everything!

  178. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:55

    Fortunately, my wife doesn’t believe in Valentine’s day

    Break out the assless pants and make a believer of her.

  179. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:58

    Break out the assless pants

    Possibly – just possibly – the wrong verb to use.

  180. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:59

    Break out the assless pants and make a believer of her – tigris

    I don’t have assless pants. Who do you think I am? Prince? Jesus (well I am a nice Jewish boy with a beard, so I guess I’m close enough)?

  181. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 15, 2013 at 1:59

    ALL my pants are assless when I’m not wearing them.

  182. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:02

    My wife believes in Valentine’s Day because (1) Russian and (2) massacre.

  183. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:13

    ALL my pants are assless when I’m not wearing them. – Substance McGravitas

    I’m now wondering: if you shot an elephant in your pajamas, would you then have to ask how said elephant got into your pajamas?

  184. Pupienus said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:14

    Teh Ho believes. Because surf and turf. Works for me too.

  185. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:20

    I’m now wondering: if you shot an elephant in your pajamas, would you then have to ask how said elephant got into your pajamas?

    I’d be more curious about his motivation. He’s got his own trunk.

  186. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:22

    Ask not for whom the elephant trumpets.

  187. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:41

    I’m now wondering: if you shot an elephant in your pajamas, would you then have to ask how said elephant got into your pajamas?

    This is a classy publication and we provide tasteful wardrobe for all our models.

  188. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:44

    This is a classy publication and we provide tasteful wardrobe for all our models.

    I only read it for the articles, though.

  189. CRA said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:48

    How can you be so sure?

    I dunno what “off the record” offers Jesus and/or The American Soldier make.

    If Prince-like outfits and anachronism are someday combined in a single, dominant culture, you will see depictions of Jesus and/or G.I. Joe in assless pants with a ruffled shirt.

  190. Matt said,

    February 15, 2013 at 2:57

    The most ridiculous part about the whole water incident: people insisting that they liked it because it made Rubio look “like a real person, not a politician”.

    First off, there’s the strong whiff of Idiocracy-level “well, he doesn’t talk like a fag” nonsense there. But WORSE, there’s the reality on the ground: since he got his JD in 1996, he hasn’t had any job BUT “politician”.

  191. Fred Fnord said,

    February 15, 2013 at 3:06

    Until now, I had been under the impression that it was the ventriloquist who was supposed to be the one drinking the water.

  192. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 3:12

    Being the dummy is thirsty work.

  193. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 3:45

    The Buffalo Beast lives!

    http://buffalobeast.com/the-50-most-loathsome-americans-2/

  194. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 15, 2013 at 3:59

    Until now, I had been under the impression that it was the ventriloquist who was supposed to be the one drinking the water.

    No one has asked the truly critical question about that water.

    Was it fluoridated…?

    Speaking of which, our project won a fluoridation award from the CDC, and it got mentioned in Reason, FFS.
    .

  195. bughunter said,

    February 15, 2013 at 4:03

    Re: Rubio’s response performance.

    One thing has not been properly expressed in any of the coverage I’ve read or heard of Rubio’s Tuesday night performance, specifically all of the sweat dabbing and corner-of-the-mouth pinching and water drinking that made him look like a nervous amateur. The real news isn’t that he did all of these things. It is how he did them: nervously, furtively, evasively.

    The behavior revealed his state of mind. It made him look like what he is:

    A liar.

  196. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 4:31

    All super-villains have hidden liars where they retreat to plot doom and stroke cats.

    Wait, what?

  197. Just Alison, also licensed to carry two nipples, albeit non-incediary ones said,

    February 15, 2013 at 4:37

    bbkf said,
    February 13, 2013 at 19:19

    our nutjob local newspaper publisher, who took a MAJOR shellacking in this week’s letters btw, has the magnificent idea that instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party…can’t you just see how well that would work?!?!

    The very essence of Real American Democracy.

  198. Just Alison, also licensed to carry two nipples, albeit non-incediary ones said,

    February 15, 2013 at 4:48

    And for bbkf’s hilarious wingnut editor: it isn’t the possession of (only just) a multiplicity of parties that’s the problem, it’s that your whole system is geared to (a) encourage gerrymandering, (b) prevent anyone who’s foolish enough to be non-rich from even contemplating a career in politics, and (c) positively demand that one party should be able to carry on like a bunch of whiny 6-year-olds to prevent anything getting done (aka filibustering).

    Humph. I’ll be here in the corner being grumpy.

  199. Snorghagen said,

    February 15, 2013 at 5:12

    we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party

    Redskins only!

  200. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 5:15

    Humph. I’ll be here in the corner being grumpy.

    Crowded corner. Think we could send out for pizza and flares? Or whatever else it takes to get noticed by TPTB?

  201. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 6:13

    Show them your wits.

  202. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 6:40

    Is anybody else thinking about The Magic Christian?

  203. Major Kong said,

    February 15, 2013 at 8:28

    Is anybody else thinking about The Magic Christian?

    All I remember from that movie is Raquel Welch with a whip.

  204. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 8:52

    I mean, the titular (ahem) big cruise ship where everything went horribly wrong…………………..

  205. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 10:05

    I only read the book and it was, sadly, Welch-free.

  206. Major Kong said,

    February 15, 2013 at 10:46

    I mean, the titular (ahem) big cruise ship where everything went horribly wrong…………………..

    Oh it was titular all right.

  207. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 10:49

    So Major, I’m insomniac because of the flu turning my head into a giant ball of snot. You working?

  208. Major Kong said,

    February 15, 2013 at 11:03

    Yep. I’m on the crew bus as we speak.

  209. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 11:08

    That’s the bus where everyone is pulling on oars?

  210. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 11:09

    A pretty good deconstruction – from TNR, amazingly enough – of why the Rs are so fucked up: http://www.newrepublic.com/article/112365/why-republicans-are-party-white-people#

  211. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 11:50

    Sweet, sweet Conservatears. Will I ever get enough?

  212. El Manquecito said,

    February 15, 2013 at 13:03

    Where’s my fiery meteor shower? Siberia has all the fun.

  213. A Mayan said,

    February 15, 2013 at 13:06

    It *starts* with a fiery meteor shower…

  214. smut clyde said,

    February 15, 2013 at 13:08

    I’ll be here in the corner being grumpy.

    Hayfever season. I’ll be Sneezy.

  215. Doc said,

    February 15, 2013 at 14:10

    What’s up?

  216. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 14:33

    Hayfever

    Your attractions aren’t our business, but most grass-fuckers stay in the tool shed.

  217. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 15:46

    Sweet, sweet Conservatears. Will I ever get enough?

    If you do, can I’ll take your leftovers.

  218. bughunter said,

    February 15, 2013 at 16:49

    A pretty good deconstruction – from TNR, amazingly enough – of why the Rs are so fucked up: http://www.newrepublic.com/article/112365/why-republicans-are-party-white-people#

    I read that yesterday. Interesting history but it boils down to an obvious shorter:

    Because they’re the party of racism, bigotry, and anti-intellectualism..

  219. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 17:04

    Not since the 2008 has he given a speech from which one can recall a line or a phrase

    oh…so bronco didn’t say, ‘you didn’t build that”?

    and to be fair, it’s true that they cannot recall a line or a phrase from a bronco speech, because they usually fuck up whatever it was that he actually said…

  220. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 17:05

    also, too…valentines day on fb is enough to make one shoot oneself…

  221. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 17:07

    So Major, I’m insomniac because of the flu turning my head into a giant ball of snot. You working?

    gawd, mrs. n_b is a lucky, lucky woman…

  222. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 17:22

    I could have stayed in bed with her but instead I got up and hacked in the living room. FOR VALENTINE’S DAY.

  223. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 17:55

    also, too…valentines day on fb is enough to make one shoot oneself…

    Grumpified.

  224. Chris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:06

    our nutjob local newspaper publisher, who took a MAJOR shellacking in this week’s letters btw, has the magnificent idea that instead of having two parties who clearly can’t get along and just hold up the whole democratic process, we should have ONE party…the ‘real american’ party…can’t you just see how well that would work?!?!

    Well, with the two parties being what they are, I for one can’t imagine that the country wouldn’t be in immensely better shape if the Democratic Party was the only one in the nation’s capital (see also FDR’s first few terms). Of course, part of the reason for that is that the Dems themselves contain so many different viewpoints that it wouldn’t really be one party; heck, even the Republicans would continue to have a voice in the system (Blue Dogs). But if nothing else, at least the debates in Washington might actually revolve around the real world, instead of needing to continue appeasing people freaking out about fictional death panels and birth certificates.

    I do love the “Real American Party” solution, though. What’s the problem with Washington? Is it that it’s corrupt? Is it that it’s inefficient? Is it that it’s nonresponsive to the needs of the public? Nope, it’s just that there aren’t enough “Real Americans!” in it! Just replace all the politicians with people from the proper background, that’ll do the trick.

    I swear, one of the funniest things you can do to a Republican is to ask them “so what do you think we should do to fix the country?” and then lie back and watch them babble.

  225. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:27

    f course, part of the reason for that is that the Dems themselves contain so many different viewpoints that it wouldn’t really be one party; heck, even the Republicans would continue to have a voice in the system (Blue Dogs). But if nothing else, at least the debates in Washington might actually revolve around the real world, instead of needing to continue appeasing people freaking out about fictional death panels and birth certificates.

    well, see, a big part of his plan is that EVERYone would agree…because he also wants to abolish primaries in favor of having just one candidate for any given office…no debates, no nothin…just a bunch of real murkins (wingnutteapers) running the place with, apparently, the rest of us going, ‘oh, cool…real americans are running things now…let’s all get along and have a big hug!!!’ he doesn’t get different viewpoints…when a nice old lady wrote in (quite kindly, i might add) a letter to the editor that perhaps instead of being all ‘obama’s a muslimfascistsocialisthitlermegalomaniacspendingmachine’ all the fucking time, that perhaps, since we all hear what he’s saying loud and clear, he just might want to give it a rest and stfu and use his column to talk about kttens and the good old days and his infamous ‘small worlders’…oh my….he laid into her…and quite unequivocally told her that she should READ these BOOKS about OBAMA because the are the truth and she doesn’t know him and she’s REPULSIVE…each week’s edition is a shitshow…

  226. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:29

    They spontaneously emit 10 page presentations with titles like “Taking America Froward into a Perfect Future FOrever, Amen,” that are heavy on graphics and real short on text.

  227. Pupienus said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:30

    It’s feast or famine around here I tells ya.

  228. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:46

    It’s feast or famine around here I tells ya.

    Sounds like someone needs a silo.

  229. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 18:53

    I could’ve hacked all night
    I could’ve hacked all night
    And still have CLARK

  230. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:04

    And still have CLARK

    william clark?!? are you well versed in the arts of necromancy?!?!

  231. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:12

    No, I’m just dying for a new goddamn thread………………………………………….

  232. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:13

    he also wants to abolish primaries in favor of having just one candidate for any given office

    Does he publish his photo? What does his facial hair look like? Does he have a cute little moustache?, a big bushy moustache?, a moustache and goatee?, or no facial hair?

    Enquiring minds want to know.

  233. John Revolta said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:20

    VERY BAD

    VERY BAD

    If drums stop…………..

    BASS SOLO

  234. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:25

    Old jokes are NOT the answer.

  235. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:30

    Old jokes are NOT the answer.

    And BOY, are my arms tired!

  236. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:37

    Does he publish his photo?

    sadly, his only facial hair of note are some huge bushy-ass eyebrows…and he only publishes pictures of himself in his younger years…and swears that he was routinely mistaken for jfk…and he usually goes by his initials of jdk…oooh, in fact, here’s a link to the wall of publishers at the hooterville indigestion’s office…he’s in the lower left…what is particularly amusing about that portrait is that if one is of a certain age, one immediately is struck by the fact that there is a STRONG resemblance to a certain young lady, who’s mother the illustrious jdk had an affair with shortly before her death…those eyebrows do not lie…the flickr also shows a pic of his office…with a picture on the wall of him shaking hands with st. ronnie!!!

  237. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:38

    And BOY, are my arms tired!

    how’s the veal in this place?

  238. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:41

    http://townhall.com/columnists/nealboortz/2013/02/13/why-the-liberal-hatred-of-citizens-with-guns-n1511221/page/full/

    BREAKING!!! AROO!

    Newly discoverd footage of Neil Boortz’s brave stand against the creeping marauder!

  239. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:42

    I just saw elsewhere that the Rs are referring to what occured at the start of this Congressional session as “filibuster reform.” IMO, pinky-swearing that they aren’t going to abuse the filibuster is “reform” the same way taking a comma out and putting it back in is “editing.” Sigh. I suppose the Ds are also calling it “filibuster reform,” and not “our usual cave.”

  240. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:45

    …and swears that he was routinely mistaken for jfk…

    Must not make obvious joke. Because it is obvious. And not very nice, alsolike.

  241. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:46

    So bbkf, is that guy a committed reenactor of the 1970s, or has the ofice just not been redecorated since then?

  242. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:47

    some huge bushy-ass eyebrows

    Just remember, every time you use “ass” as a modifier, I mentally shift the hyphen one word to the right.

    The fact that you are familiar with his ass eyebrows disturbs me.

  243. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:50

    The liberal penchant for gun control starts with their obsession with controlling the lives and actions of those considered to be their inferiors…

    The gun owner is the Jew of liberal oppression!

  244. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:53

    The fact that you are familiar with his ass eyebrows disturbs me.

    Toot and the Hirsute Glutes

    is an excellent band name.

  245. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:53

    The liberal penchant for gun control starts with their obsession with controlling the lives and actions of those considered to be their inferiors…

    Or, it could be they don’t like to see their fellow citizens shot to shit.

  246. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 19:57

    The liberal penchant for gun control starts with their obsession with controlling the lives and actions of those considered to be their inferiors…

    I call bullshit. Mini__B is my superior in every way and I STILL won’t let him have a gun.

  247. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:03

    But … that would conflict with the hypothesis that liberals want to trample everyone beneath the hobnailed Birkenstock of fascism!

  248. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:04

    So bbkf, is that guy a committed reenactor of the 1970s, or has the ofice just not been redecorated since then?

    The style of photo makes me think more of the 1950s (OK, maybe the 1960s). Combine that with his apparent age in the photo (which bears no resemblance to JFK), and I now want to know if anyone’s seen him in full sunlight, or does he hiss, raise his cape, and scuttle away?

  249. gocart mozart said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:06

    Anyone who has not seen this video, needs to because it’s the most insane thing ever.
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2013/02/14/jesus-is-my-what-now/

  250. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:09

    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2013/02/14/jesus-is-my-what-now/

    What the…? Wow.

  251. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:11

    he laid into her…and quite unequivocally told her that she should READ these BOOKS about OBAMA because the are the truth and she doesn’t know him and she’s REPULSIVE

    So his one party thing obviously isn’t about everyone getting along….

    The liberal penchant for gun control starts with their obsession with controlling the lives and actions of those considered to be their inferiors…

    This is also why we want a say in women’s reproductive choices, gay folks’ sex lives, and welfare recipients eating habits. Aren’t we awful?

  252. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:13

    Anyone who has not seen this video, needs to because it’s the most insane thing ever.
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2013/02/14/jesus-is-my-what-now/

    Oh … my.

    And he don’t even lip synch good. I made it until just after his wife (May Sue! Does he know what she does with Kirk, and Spock?) came in and repeated the refrain.

  253. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:16

    Anyone who has not seen this video, needs to because it’s the most insane thing ever.
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/2013/02/14/jesus-is-my-what-now/

    That’s not serious. And if it is serious, it’s not serious because I CANNOT LIVE IN A WORLD IN WHICH THAT IS SERIOUS.

  254. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:17

    The liberal penchant for gun control starts with their obsession with controlling the lives and actions of those considered to be their inferiors…

    This is also why we want a say in women’s reproductive choices, gay folks’ sex lives, and welfare recipients eating habits. Aren’t we awful?

    Yes, the IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is very strong in that one.

  255. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:22

    The fact is, liberal big union pension thugs should be ashamed about divesting from gun companyes. This is a taxpayer subsidized assult on basic freedoms of 2nd amendement, as well as the free market and freedom. How dare they use their left leaning bias to hurt busness with an agenda like this, all the people who are defnseless and loose there jobs can nonly blame their “servants” who think they are better than taxpayers and real Americans. We should take there pensions by force and return it to tax payers and job creaters who would have done better to keep it instead of give it to public employess who creat no values and spread evil.

  256. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:26

    The fact is, no special rights for fags and minorites either

  257. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:28

    This is also why we want a say in women’s reproductive choices, gay folks’ sex lives, and welfare recipients eating habits. Aren’t we awful?

    Yes, if the NeoCons have their way welfare recipients’ eating habits will be non-existent!

    And anyways, liberals would burden the skirts and the poofs with too many choices. Just like they did with the coloureds!

  258. Chris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:40

    A pretty good deconstruction – from TNR, amazingly enough – of why the Rs are so fucked up: http://www.newrepublic.com/article/112365/why-republicans-are-party-white-people#

    I enjoyed that one.

    In that same vein, any recommendation for an equivalent publication adjusted to, say, seventy or eighty years earlier? That one’s about how the movement conservatives absorbed the Dixiecrats. I’ve been looking for a while for a decent read (online article or book either works) about the original conservative Republican/Southern Democrat alliance back at the end of Reconstruction, when the Gilded Agers took over the GOP and basically handed the South back to the old Confederate leaders… and the relationship between the two after that (as I recall Northern business interests did great in the South and often in cooperation with the local elites).

  259. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:43

    about the original conservative Republican/Southern Democrat alliance back at the end of Reconstruction, when the Gilded Agers took over the GOP and basically handed the South back to the old Confederate leaders… and the relationship between the two after that (as I recall Northern business interests did great in the South and often in cooperation with the local elites). – Chris

    I don’t have any references for you (I’m a biochemist, not an historian), but I have long felt that the Hayes-Tilden compromise went EXACTLY the wrong way.

  260. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:46

    Minorites is one of my favorite classical Greek authors. I am quite upset, though, about how both union thugs and Mayor Bloomberg are both contributing to hurting “busness”: having to drive my daughter to school everyday is getting kind of old. Fortunately, we do have a carpool (we drive two kids in and some or other of the other kid’s family picks them up).

  261. DAS said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:50

    Talk about neo-con scolds reminds me of something I was recently reading: Midge Decter once called out Kirk on his, shall we say, “cultural anti-Semitism” and pointed out that his unfortunate “Tel Aviv” remark was just one aspect of his views and not merely a mis-statement. Indeed, she made some very salient points about Kirk’s exclusionary and cultural-scolding world-view. The irony, to me, though, is that I find it impossible to read Midge Decter without affecting a plummy, Queen Elizabeth voice. Not that Queen Elizabeth is nearly the scold that Decter is, but that Midge Decter’s world view is every bit as constrained and biased as she correctly pointed out Kirk’s view was.

    So I guess one could say that even when conservatives attack each other, it’s still always projection!

  262. N__B said,

    February 15, 2013 at 20:51

    I’m a biochemist, not an historian

    I will not believe that statement unless it’s proceeded by “Damn it, Jim…”

  263. Pupienus said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:02

    Beware the gayzombiepocalypse!

    http://www.thedailydolt.com/2013/02/15/afa-protects-arlington-from-gay-soldier-burials-homosexual-hauntings/

  264. Chris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:07

    Amen on “Dammit Jim.” Which is to say, damn you for beating me to it.

  265. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:09

    I am not kidding. If those clowns launch any sort of protest near Arlington National there will be some sorry-ass God botherers limping around town.

  266. El Manquécito said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:14

    Beware the gayzombiepocalypse!

    Naw, we saw those folks rolling in the Marigny for Mardi Gras and they were all right.

  267. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:19

    So bbkf, is that guy a committed reenactor of the 1970s, or has the ofice just not been redecorated since then?

    nope, that’s exactly what it looks like…actually, the whole building looks that way…but they are moving to a new pole barn monstrosity on top of the hill where they have installed a press that can print in color!!! omg…hail the new technology…sadly, i will now have ‘bushy ass-eyebrows’ in my subconscious for the rest of the day…and, ladies man that he is, he would definitely want me to have knowledge of his ass eyebrows…eck…

  268. Whale Chowder said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:37

    I don’t know which is worse: ass-eyebrows or eye-Gods.

  269. Whale Chowder said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:37

    DAMMIT! ass-Gods*

  270. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:41

    Do they live in Ass-gard?

  271. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:42

    Worst*: God’s ass-eyebrows.

    *by which I mean BEST.

  272. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:58

    Worst*: God’s ass-eyebrows.

    *by which I mean BEST.

    the God-botherers would know …

  273. Smut Clyde said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:44

    Worst*: God’s ass-eyebrows.

    Photoshop challenge!

  274. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:45

    Looks like fringe when He wears his assless pants.

  275. Shakezula said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:54

    Thou shalt photoshop the Lord’s ass with varicose veins!

  276. Whale Chowder said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:52

    Photoshop challenge!

    Why bother? Substance would kick our…well, you know.

  277. A former mayor said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:20

    Charlie Pierce deconstructs Tanenhaus’ deconstruction.

  278. online marketing said,

    April 9, 2013 at 5:04

    Precisely how do you have the ability to create such a great group regarding commenters to your website?

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