Feb
15

Eek! Scronsevatives Are Being Scroogled!!




Posted at 21:05 by Tintin

ben howe
ABOVE: Ben Howe, Diarist at Red Face

Shorter Ben Howe, Red State
Google: The Democrat’s [sic] Private Intelligence Agency

  • Google is reading my mail so that it can force me to vote for Democrats.

The “diarists” over at Red State, kindly put, can’t figure out how to flush a toilet without an instruction manual and hot hunky tower of manliness Ben Howe is no exception. (Actually, Ben would probably need to have the instruction manual read to him.) Even so, Ben’s notion that Google is reading his email and his attempts on Google Docs to write Hunger Games fanfic as part of some giant conspiracy to keep the Kenyan usurper in the White House really takes Red State diarist stupidity to a new level.

Remember that enormous, sophisticated data operation the Obama campaign had? The one that gave them massive daily data on public opinion trends in almost every segment of potential voters.

It’s almost as if Democrats had access to some sort of huge database of real time information about what the public was reading or writing online. The kind of breathtakingly large, real-time data that could be used for real-time trend analysis, predictive modeling and even behavioral manipulation.

Now if you think Ben is going to pause even a nanosecond between “it’s almost as if” and “it’s an absolute fact,” you have seriously underestimated him.

Now, combine Obama’s political campaign with Google’s near-comprehensive real-time data and the left’s behavioral analysis. What do you get? Beat.

You see Romney didn’t lose because he wanted to cut Medicare so his buddies could buy bigger yachts. No, he lost because he got scroogled. The almighty Google read everyone’s Gmails so that the company could turn all its Gmail users, who otherwise would definitely have voted for Romney, into mindless Obamatons who stood in line for hours to carry out commands from Great Google and the Negro Usurper.

I suppose this is not much dumber than saying that Obama won because he gave all the darkies Obama phones or because Hurricane Sandy blew all the Romney voters into the basement of a split-level in Montauk and trapped them there until the election was over.

327 Comments »

  1. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:05

    what ho?

  2. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:12

    GOOOOOOOOOOGLE!!!!

  3. wiley said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:27

    Not much dumber, but the further you plunge into the cesspit of dumb the more phenomenal incremental shifts downward appear to be. It should have drowned to death by now. It’s zombie stupid. It’s the ghost of stupid stupid. It’s stupid’s stupid stupid.

  4. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:33

    so that the company could turn all its Gmail users, who otherwise would definitely have voted for Romney, into mindless Obamatons who stood in line for hours to carry out commands from Great Google and the Negro Usurper.

    i know for a fact that a certain subtance mcgravitas (and really? is that his real name?) uses gmail…therefore, he’s the reason the usurper won and we can’t have nice things…why does he hate america?

  5. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:37

    Because he’s a goddamn Canuck, that’s why!

  6. tigris said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:41

    Now, combine Obama’s political campaign with Google’s near-comprehensive real-time data and the left’s behavioral analysis. What do you get? Beat.

    Oh yeah, it has NOTHING to do with running shitty candidates and shitty platforms that people don’t vote for.

  7. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:42

    It’s zombie stupid. It’s the ghost of stupid stupid. It’s stupid’s stupid stupid.

    and the commentators don’t disappoint:

    The real story here is that those of us who do not agree with the Regime should avoid Google products, including Android and its apps, and make sure we are on Apple and/or Microsoft platforms. Do not use Google’s search engine; switch to Bing or something else.

  8. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:43

    He’s probably been spying on us this whole time. Taking our precious insights about PENIS and POOP to his socialest Canadian overlords.

  9. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:47

    and it does get better and neil get’s a bit hissy:

    jeffersonianconservative•3 days ago

    Oh quit it with the conspiracy theories, it’s why so many think we conservatives are nuts, Google is first and foremost a money making operation, as such they side with groups that are larger and therefore have more potential customers/users.

    If the GOP were more popular than they currently are, Google would be kissing their asses instead.

    Put the blame for GOP popularity, or the lack thereof squarely where it belongs, on the GOP, for having no cohesive strategies, and on the mainstream media for ensuring that that fact is the only one that gets out there about the GOP.


    Neil StevensMod> jeffersonianconservative•3 days ago

    G’bye

    however, ‘liquidone’ is not giving up hope that someday wingnuts will be able to master technology (and then the entertainment industry?):

    You fools need to stop worrying about Google.We can build a better system then Catalyst if we START RECRUITING THE SMARTEST IT GUY’s NOW TO DEFEAT THE DEM MACHINE IN 2014 and 2016. We should be spending millions to do it! But I doubt the idiots in the Republican establishment understand that the next election is going to be a cyber war.

    indeed…i look forward to the next version of orca…

  10. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:47

    Hey…while it’s just us gals here I just wanna take a page out of Ann Romney’s book and say

    I LOVE YOU WOMEEEEEN!!!!

  11. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 21:56

    oooh…it is just us girls here, isn’t it? and now that i think about it, the women of newsradio didn’t get all weird and stuff after the show’s run…what’s up with that? i think we all know the answer…

  12. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:00

    The real story here is that those of us who do not agree with the Regime should avoid Google products, including Android and its apps, and make sure we are on Apple and/or Microsoft platforms. Do not use Google’s search engine; switch to Bing or something else.

    Yes, because those other faceless global conglomerates will certainly not sell you out to the ebil gubmit. No sir, not those’ns, only this’n over here. Yep. True fact.

    Brilliant, cogent analysis from the scholars at redstate, as usual.

  13. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:01

    Oh, sorry to bustup the girl fest, I’ll just hide over here on the opposite wall of the gym.

  14. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:02

    fooled you, obs…we aren’t actually particpating in gym class today because we’re all on our periods…

  15. jim said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:03

    Google’s algorithms are strictly for purposes of milking Interwebs rubes for every possible dime.

    It’s official: RED STATE TRIKE FORC3 WANTS 2 DESTROY ALL AMERIKIN CAPITALISMS & HAETS FREE ENTERPRIZE 4-EVER!

    Because he’s a goddamn Canuck, that’s why!

    We’re everywhere, & we never sleep!
    Muahahahahaaaaaaa!

    Fuck, am I ever tired, eh?

  16. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:04

    Fuck, am I ever tired, eh?

    The doctors hand out dexedrine like candy!

  17. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:05

    i personally lurve this line from ben:

    On a completely unrelated note, former RNC eCampaign Director Michael Turk wrote Monday that “the frightening advantage the left has is in a less touted entity known as the Analyst Institute (AI) and a consortium of behavioral scientists” who are “concerned not only with your characteristics and voting behavior, but how they can manipulate that behavior.”

    compleeeeeetely different than say…with how a wall street firm or other big corporate entity would conduct business…

  18. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:06

    however, ‘liquidone’ is not giving up hope that someday wingnuts will be able to master technology (and then the entertainment industry?):

    Based on liquidone’s mastery of English spelling and grammar, I think he should be in charge of the next Orca. Should be epic.

  19. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:08

    i am really tired of hearing about the freaking asteroid…if we are going to be taken out in such a fasion, i surely don’t want to know about it ahead of time…i want to die just as i am…full of ignorance…

  20. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:08

    and that is one hell of a tagfail…

  21. smut clyde said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:13

    Neil StevensMod> jeffersonianconservative•3 days ago
    G’bye

    I feel a disturbance in the Force, as if an episteme had suddenly closed.

  22. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:15

    Yes, because those other faceless global conglomerates will certainly not sell you out to the ebil gubmit. No sir, not those’ns, only this’n over here. Yep. True fact.

    Yep. It’s not like they’re all soulless corporations, out to make as much profit as possible for their 1% owners, or anything. I mean, look, my iThingy doesn’t have any bookmarks for any wingnut sites, nor does my M$ Windows machine. It’s almost as though there were some entity controlling my intertubes behavior. Oh. Wait. It’s my brain. And my desire not to have to bleach it.

  23. smut clyde said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:15

    “concerned not only with your characteristics and voting behavior, but how they can manipulate that behavior.”

    Wait, what? Teh Democratic Party took advice on how to increase the number of people voting for them? Are they allowed to do that?

  24. Major Kong said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:15

    however, ‘liquidone’ is not giving up hope that someday wingnuts will be able to master technology (and then the entertainment industry?):

    They’re still working on “fire” and “the wheel”.

  25. El Manquécito said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:19

    They’re still working on “fire” and “the wheel”.

    Paging Thundra.

  26. VCarlson said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:22

    From bbkf’s link:

    The asteroids are patient and operate on time scales different from mere mortals

    Apparently, the WahPoo thinks asteroids are sentient. So there’s a possibility that when Apophis comes by in 2029 he’ll decide to hit Earth anyway. You’ll be able to tell this because his eyes will be glowing.

  27. gocart mozart said,

    February 15, 2013 at 22:55

    Crazy Bread Cain gets Fox gig.
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/

  28. wiley said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:25

    So anal is back? We can haz analysis now?

  29. kg said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:30

    hey fenny, if ur lurking this one’s for you.

    http://arnoldzwicky.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/fenwick/

  30. kg said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:32

    So anal is back?

    was it ever gone?

  31. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:33

    Clearly, this calls for an analrapist.

  32. mainmati said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:43

    The stupid burns bright and shiny with this lunk. Are you sure they’re not self-parodying themselves. I’m on the East Coast where it is 4:40 whereas everybody on this thread is 7 hours ahead of EST according to the thread posting clock. That would mean Egypt, Lebanon or Iraq in which case I say Merhabah! Kaif ul halik to all of you?

  33. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:43

    Clearly, this calls for an analrapist.

    hahaha…i love your sense of humor…have i ever told you that?

  34. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:50

    I don’t think so…I don’t blame ya. I’m pretty terrific. (And right back at ya.)

  35. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:51

    That would mean Egypt, Lebanon or Iraq in which case I say Merhabah! Kaif ul halik to all of you

    you could say that, but I think the people running the hosting servers in Germany might have a hard time understanding you.

    *disclaimer, I don’t know this for sure, I just once heard the hosting servers were in Germany.

  36. bbkf said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:55

    obligatory, i guess…

  37. Sirius Lunacy said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:55

    if we START RECRUITING THE SMARTEST IT GUY’s NOW TO DEFEAT THE DEM MACHINE IN 2014 and 2016. We should be spending millions to do it!

    I’d be happy to send them the smartest IT guys we’ve got at my workplace for free.

  38. lawnorder said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:55

    Redstaters are right, the great Google Negro Usurping plan has been effect for ages and reads RedState. They should stop using the internet and go back to paper mailing lists!

  39. Sirius Lunacy said,

    February 15, 2013 at 23:56

    So anal is back?

    It’s back of me.

  40. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:07

    if we START RECRUITING THE SMARTEST IT GUY’s NOW TO DEFEAT THE DEM MACHINE IN 2014 and 2016. We should be spending millions to do it!

    We need to send them hardened veterans of the longest software development effort in history. I’m sure the programmers of “Duke Nukem Forever” could use the work.

  41. bbkf said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:09

    I’d be happy to send them the smartest IT guys we’ve got at my workplace for free.

    i’ve just been emailing my it guy because he has to do some updates on my desktop and my laptop…so he’s wondering if monday afternoon would work…i say ‘looks like we have an up-’date’ for monday afternoon…here’s his reply: Haha… that was a good one… all this time I’ve been working on computers, that’s the first time I’ve heard that. lol

    that’s me…cutting edge it humor…

  42. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:12

    If we’re lucky, this will drive righties off the internet.

  43. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:27

    I use Google.

    This week I refinanced my home under a program where the federal govt. gives my mortgage holder a cash incentive to offer me a lower interest rate.

    Coincidence?

    I THINK NOT.

  44. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:31

    Now, combine Obama’s political campaign with Google’s near-comprehensive real-time data and the left’s behavioral analysis. What do you get? Beat

    And off the Internet, one wishes.

    Oy vey, is it that time already?

    After the election curb stomping and
    the post-election mumbles of “Maybe we should find a darkie and … be nice to him, or something” and
    the sudden discovery that they actually hated the candidate they spent two years fellating and he was way too liberal and
    the realization that they didn’t do anything wrong, the Democrats cheated.

    Comes the time to realize that there’s a bit more to the Internet than a porn and misinformed opinion dispenser.

    But like the darkies and the craptastic candidate and the cheating Democrats, they couldn’t fix the problem if they tried, because not only do they not know what they’re talking about, not only can they not understand the problem, but they lie to themselves about what little they do understand of the problem.

    And even the ones who briefly come up with hilariously impossible solutions (we’ll make our own internet!) will ultimately decide that everything is just so unfair and unreasonable and it is the liberals fault a man can’t buy his own internet because all of the money went to welfare queens.

    And then it will be time to tongue bathe the NEXT great white dope.

    The circle of life!!

  45. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:35

    Nice try libtards, but we see right through you. Google’s HQ? California. Hotbed of leftsist socialest Nancy Pelosi voting. At something called The Googleplex in Mountain View. Tell me that’s not a sekrit supervillain lair. No really, you will tell me that because ALL LEFTIES ARE LIARS.

    “Don’t be evil.” Yeah, but only because lie-beral Google is so evil that being “evil” would be a step towards good for them.

  46. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:35

    So anal is back?

    You’d hardly expect to find it in the front.

  47. Suezboo said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:36

    Bugger. I missed out on the Circle of Sisterly Love up there. Coulda used some of that.

  48. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:39

    Wait, sorry. Wasn’t Bing supposed to be the righty answer to lefty Google? Did I imagine that?

  49. gocart mozart said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:50

    Boobies
    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/02/14/nc-lawmaker-women-should-duct-tape-nipples-to-stay-out-of-jail/

  50. tigris said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:51

    You’d hardly expect to find it in the front.

    It’s in front for SOMEbody.

    On a different note, HEY SUEZBOO!

  51. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:52

    The circle of life!!

    Circle jerk is more like it!

  52. tigris said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:55

    Hey, so if I DON’T want to “arous[e] or gratify[] sexual desire” then the nips are good to go? Because OUCH.

  53. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:03

    We need to send them hardened veterans of the longest software development effort in history. I’m sure the programmers of “Duke Nukem Forever” could use the work.

    Those misogynist creepers are probably already on board.

  54. gocart mozart said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:05

    Zombieapocolypse; The Canuks got our back
    http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/02/13/canada-will-never-be-a-safe-haven-for-zombies-foreign-minister-john-baird-tells-house-of-commons/

  55. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:22

    Boobies

    It’s pretty damn weird when southern Republican lawmakers want women to emulate Wendy O. Williams. What’s next, a law mandating that women in North Carolina drive SPOILER full of SPOILER through a SPOILER of SPOILER?

  56. Whale Chowder said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:31

    I don’t think so…I don’t blame ya. I’m pretty terrific. (And right back at ya.)

    Enough of the yacking, get on to the kissing.

    Also, isn’t it the wingers’ position that The Holy Market resolves all? Why don’t they just throw money at their get-out-the-vote sooper-sekrit tricksy software and get all of us clueless lieberals to abandon Teh G00G for their killer mind subsuming app-and-search-engine to get us to abandon our gaybortatoria and turn us into Teabaggers?

    Oh, right, we’re not idiots.

  57. Whale Chowder said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:32

    Hey, so if I DON’T want to “arous[e] or gratify[] sexual desire” then the nips are good to go? Because OUCH.

    You have no choice in the matter. Simple possession is a crime.

  58. bughunter said,

    February 16, 2013 at 1:59

    Are we back on the subject of nipples?

    At least they’re in the proper places this time.

    RELATED: My favorite boobie cartoon. (NSFW language in URL)

  59. El Manquecito said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:10

    Are we back on the subject of nipples?

    I like them dark
    I like them pale
    I like them trickled on with ale…

  60. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:16

    Enough of the yacking, get on to the kissing.

    Oooooh noooooo,most these girls will get from me is a lingering handshake. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but most of them are afflicted with Cooties Type B.

  61. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:19

    Oooooh noooooo,most these girls will get from me is a lingering handshake. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but most of them are afflicted with Cooties Type B.

    Tagically, Ross Douthat gets paid big bux to write the same thing for the Paper of Record.

  62. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:36

    Gangster Bankers: Too Big to Jail

    By Matt Taibbi
    February 14, 2013 8:00 AM ET

    In other words, Breuer is saying the banks have us by the balls, that the social cost of putting their executives in jail might end up being larger than the cost of letting them get away with, well, anything.

    This is bullshit, and exactly the opposite of the truth, but it’s what our current government believes. From JonBenet to O.J. to Robert Blake, Americans have long understood that the rich get good lawyers and get off, while the poor suck eggs and do time. But this is something different. This is the government admitting to being afraid to prosecute the very powerful – something it never did even in the heydays of Al Capone or Pablo Escobar, something it didn’t do even with Richard Nixon. And when you admit that some people are too important to prosecute, it’s just a few short steps to the obvious corollary – that everybody else is unimportant enough to jail.

    An arrestable class and an unarrestable class. We always suspected it, now it’s admitted. So what do we do?

    Hurrah for Hope and/or Change.
    ~

  63. wiley said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:48

    Want to hear something more disgusting than the Paronychia (pronounced paranoika (nail destroyuh)) I had drained today at an urgent care center?

    Sure ya’ do. Some nutball writer in Foreign Policy magazine said that George W. Bush might be the most humanitarian president EVER. I told him to get a job. Enough pus to fill New Orleans and Iraq would not be enough to express how disgusting it is to say that George W. Bush was a humanitarian at all, much less the best EVER. That also deserves a “Go ahead and suck him off, already.”

  64. wiley said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:52

    Oh Lard, I’m laughing very hard about the analrapist, Dr. Ken (if that’s your real name). Hope you’re arting around.

  65. Suezboo said,

    February 16, 2013 at 2:55

    HEY, Tigris. Looking good tonight, sis.

  66. tigris said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:06

    It’s the duct tape, really classes the girls up.

  67. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:12

    wiley, the humanitarian quote doesn’t surprise me at all. I mean, there are some conservatives who claim he’s one of our greatest presidents. Honestly, I think this is all “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEEEEAR YOU!’ bluster because they know deep down what a miserable failure he is. They know what a loser he is. And nobody wants to known for supporting a LOSER.

    I’ve been arting a lot. Just uploaded a new piece today. Thanks for axing!

  68. smut clyde said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:21

    Hey, so if I DON’T want to “arous[e] or gratify[] sexual desire” then the nips are good to go?

    “Just the lady tits.”
    You;ll have to look up the image yourselves; I have exhausted my weekly quota of Oglaf linkage.

  69. smut clyde said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:24

    “Duct tape” because lactiferous ducts, HA HA.
    Dudes get to wear gaffer tape instead.

  70. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:31

    Remember that enormous, sophisticated data operation the Obama campaign had? The one that gave them massive daily data on public opinion trends in almost every segment of potential voters.

    Yes, I remember it. Thing is, THEY STILL HAVE IT MWAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO SCROOGLED!

  71. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:36

    We can haz analysis now?

    Ben Howe believes the OgoogaBama gave him anal lysis.

  72. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 3:37

    Oh God no. Pretending Reagan belongs on Rushmore isn’t enough for these people? Now they have to canonize BUSH?!

  73. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:02

    What’s this about cannonizing Bush?

  74. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:06

    Just shoot me now please.

    http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/cnn-anchor-deborah-feyeric-asks-bill-nye-if-meteor-related-global-warming#

  75. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:21

    Just shoot me now please.

    I take it the science requirements at Columbia have been softened.

  76. Major Kong said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:33

    So they’re back to liking GWB after spending the last 4 years pretending he never existed?

  77. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:36

    That’s what I was wondering, MK. Last I checked GWB wasn’t a real conservative.

  78. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:38

    Just shoot me now please.

    I take it the science requirements at Columbia have been softened.

    A few years back, I was interviewed by an NPR staffer while at one of the monthly science lectures I attend at a bar. After entertaining a few questions from her, I asked her if she had taken any science courses while in college and she answered me “Nay.” I asked her why she didn’t at least take one of the “Physics for Poets” classes that are invariably offered and she told me, “I didn’t want to take any classes that were watered down.” I think I could have been heard the next block over when I snapped, “You didn’t want to take anything watered down SO YOU DIDN’T TAKE ANYTHING AT ALL?!!?!?”

    Face meet palm, I’ll leave it to you good people to ponder whose palm it was.

  79. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:39

    So they’re back to liking GWB after spending the last 4 years pretending he never existed?

    Some of them always did.

  80. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:41

    Actually, I shouldn’t act superior…I never took a college science course either. At that place and time, if you had a non-techie major, a couple of math classes and you were cool. Now I’m wishing maybe I had.

  81. Chris said,

    February 16, 2013 at 4:51

    ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
    February 16, 2013 at 2:36

    I’ve always thought of Wall Street and its equivalents like the City as the white collar version of the mob, and the mob as the underworld’s version of Wall Street. Same basic people, whether or not they’re actually in cahoots with each other – but Wall Street operates several levels of “untouchable” higher than even the biggest mob bosses ever will.

    About those examples of Taibbi’s? Neither Capone nor Escobar were ever in the position the current banksters are in. Capone owned one city, Escobar owned one third world country, but that’s orders of magnitude smaller than the United States, so, when the political will in Washington developed to do something about them, something was done. As long as there’s a bigger fish, there’s a chance that the little ones will be cut down to size. Wall Street, though, pretty much owns the United States, government included, so there really isn’t a bigger fish. Last time, it took near-revolutionary conditions to jerk them into line, and even then, I don’t think many of them were ever prosecuted. (Was there even one?)

    And oh yeah, Nixon. Not only were there unusual conditions – really high level of public anger, the improbable break of actually finding tapes that incriminated him – but all of Washington fucking hated the prick. Democrats for obvious reasons, but Republicans too – the moderate wing thought he was an antiliberal demagogue who hated their guts, the conservative wing thought he was a big-spending liberal statist. No one in Washington was sorry to see him go, which I think is probably one of the biggest reasons Watergate turned out like it did. And please note that even with all these things arrayed against him, Nixon still escaped justice – he was pardoned and got to simply retire. Justice just doesn’t work the same at that level.

  82. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 5:15

    Romney reminded me so much of Nixon. He was basically Nixon with inherited wealth and more self-confidence.

  83. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 16, 2013 at 5:33

    The fact is, listen up.

    Wall Street creates jobs. banks create jobs. Governments don’t. Certainly not liberals with no idea of reality, they only create welfare dependentsies. Stop hating banks and Wall Street or they will take there money and invest it where people will work harder for it than you lazy liberals are triing to demogog everyone into people to strike, and unions. Thats job killing and you are unamerican for doing it.

    Also, I don’t like gay people.

  84. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 5:44

    dependentsies

    They’re like Depends, but small enough to slip into a pocket or purse.

  85. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 16, 2013 at 5:58

    he was pardoned and got to simply retire.

    By the guy he made Vice President.
    ~

  86. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 16, 2013 at 6:17

    I forgot how seriously delicious Captain Morgan is when combined with hot water, a shit ton of honey, a splash of lemon juice and some cinnamon. Almost makes it worth having a cold.

  87. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 6:31

    I forgot how seriously delicious Captain Morgan is when combined with hot water, a shit ton of honey, a splash of lemon juice and some cinnamon. Almost makes it worth having a cold.

    My usual go-to toddy is Tullamore Dew, boiling water, honey, lemon, and cloves, but the rum option certainly has merit.

  88. El Penny Stinkard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 7:05

    It’s mango purée down there in the comments, as they thrash about in vain looking for the most conservative search engine.

  89. El Penny Stinkard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 7:12

    And who wishes to break it to the Red Staters that the SMARTEST IT GUYS!!!1! are of questionable hue, here on visa, and/or speak a language other than English at home, and are very painfully aware how the GOP feels about them?

  90. bbkf said,

    February 16, 2013 at 8:22

    forgot how seriously delicious Captain Morgan is when combined with hot water, a shit ton of honey, a splash of lemon juice and some cinnamon.

    but seriously, i should not ever have to mix another person a captain morgan dr. pepper…that shit is just wrong…

  91. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    February 16, 2013 at 8:30

    a split-level in Montauk

    Has anyone mentioned the Memory Motel yet? ‘Cause I have a totally awesome anecdote to relate if that’s virginal material here.

  92. bbkf said,

    February 16, 2013 at 8:32

    Bugger. I missed out on the Circle of Sisterly Love up there. Coulda used some of that.

    could have used some of you suez…so, if my math is right you should be eating strawberries and cream right about now?

  93. bbkf said,

    February 16, 2013 at 8:50

    say…what’s this i hear about a memory motel?

  94. Suezboo said,

    February 16, 2013 at 9:38

    bbkf. Strawberries duly enjoyed in the springtime. Have now moved on to watermelon. Yum.

  95. smut clyde said,

    February 16, 2013 at 11:18

    Hmmm. Sun-warmed blackberries.

  96. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 14:21

    Tigris said,

    February 16, 2013 at 0:55

    Hey, so if I DON’T want to “arous[e] or gratify[] sexual desire” then the nips are good to go? Because OUCH.

    Nope. Any woman exposing her boobs must be doing it for the purposes of shooting arousal and gratification rays at helpless men. The filthy Jezebel. Only exception – Feeding a baby, because under the Republican mindset a mom ceases to be sexually desirable after she’s had a child. Hence, the Republican male is allowed to acquire an upgrade.

    That phrase was inserted (I bet you a zillion moolahs) to make sure men who have moobs bigger than my boobs can continue to go around topless.

    Remember: Only the FEMALE BREAST is capable of destroying civilization.

  97. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 16, 2013 at 14:50

    The fact is, breasts are sexaly arousing and sex organs, therfore they must be kept inside clothing in decent places. Liberals think everything goes,witch is why we are moraly collapsing today

  98. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 16:40

    he fact is, breasts are sexaly arousing and sex organs, therfore they must be kept inside clothing in decent places, lest they slither off.

  99. Anonymous said,

    February 16, 2013 at 17:57

    The fact is, liberals think that life goes on anything goes comin’ up OOO.

  100. Snorghagen said,

    February 16, 2013 at 18:03

    I’ve always enjoyed Johann Sebastian Bach’s compositions for sex organs.

  101. Leon Trotsky said,

    February 16, 2013 at 18:19

    We must seize the sex organs of the state!

  102. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    February 16, 2013 at 18:30

    I say, I do quite enougn seizing of my sexual organs, thank you, we don’t have to branch out to the state’s.

  103. Horace said,

    February 16, 2013 at 18:31

    Carpe mammalia!

  104. VCarlson said,

    February 16, 2013 at 18:32

    That phrase was inserted (I bet you a zillion moolahs) to make sure men who have moobs bigger than my boobs can continue to go around topless.

    No bet. Wonder what they’d do if a woman who’d had a double mastectomy and no reconstructive surgery showed up, flaunting her scars and all. Somehow, I think that would be beyond the pale, too.

  105. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 19:13

    Wonder what they’d do if a woman who’d had a double mastectomy and no reconstructive surgery showed up, flaunting her scars and all.

    Excellent question.

    1. Concerned Women of America’s all-male cast of toxic fucknuggets would emerge to denounce the horrible woman for making light of breast cancer victims, repeat a few lies about birth control pills and then dive back into its collective asshole.

    1a. Millions of sick fucktards devote massive amounts of time and energy trying to track down the woman, because nothing says brave like harassing a cancer survivor!

    2. NC would tweak (ha ha) its legislation to forbid any woman from doing anything that might cause people to think about female tits as anything other than baby feeding devices or question whether we make too big a deal about female tits.

    3. The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Boob Enhancers will express its concern that a large revenue stream might be constricted by waving large bags (hur) of cash in front of NC Lege.

    4. An exception will be created that allows women to completely bare surgically enhanced breasts, provided they have the name of the implant manufacturer tattooed on the left breast and the name and phone number of their surgeon on the other.

    OK, I got carried away. But 1 and 1a are sure bets as is further legislation because realizing they’re being unreformed dumb asses and just shutting up about tits is not an option!

    Follow up question – This legislation is designed to stop protestors from showing their tatas. Doesn’t this expose (hur) the law to a 1st Am. challenge?

  106. Shakezula said,

    February 16, 2013 at 19:33

    Sorry. This boob thing is really bothering me, especially since you know this shit is going to spread. Fuck improving the lives of our citizens, somewhere an innocent person might be violated by the thrusting female nipples of communism! Plus, it is another way we can oppress the uppity broads!

    So anyway. Showing breasts in NC is now a CLASS H FELONY. A felony is never a good thing. But here are some examples of Class H felonies in NC:

    H G.S. 14-3(b) Unclassified misdemeanor which is infamous, done in secrecy and malice, or with deceit and intent to defraud.
    H G.S. 14-7.20 Continuing criminal enterprise.
    H G.S. 14-12.1 Certain subversive activities made unlawful.
    H G.S. 14-32.3(a) Domestic abuse, neglect, and exploitation of disabled or elder adults.
    H G.S. 14-33.2 Habitual misdemeanor assault.
    H G.S. 14-44 Using drugs or instruments to destroy unborn child.
    H G.S. 14-54 Breaking or entering buildings.
    H G.S. 14-62.1 Burning of building or structure in process of construction.
    H G.S. 14-65 Fraudulently setting fire to dwelling houses.
    H G.S. 14-69.1(c) Making a false report concerning destructive device in a public building.
    H G.S. 14-71.1 Possessing stolen goods.
    H G.S. 14-72 Larceny of property worth more than $1,000 [grand larceny].

    You got that? Under criminal law in N.C. a woman who bares her breasts ranks up there with granny beaters, burglars and arsonists.

  107. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 16, 2013 at 19:43

    thrusting female nipples of communism!

    i? w? n?

  108. Thousands of high-school Marxists said,

    February 16, 2013 at 19:52

    We believe in the socialist redistribution of thrusting female nipples.

  109. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 16, 2013 at 20:01

    The fact is scroogled has always been a leftist codeword for the socialest gay gungrabbing redistributionalist amnestizing abortionist traytors that inhabit the ilks of sadlyno!

  110. VCarlson said,

    February 16, 2013 at 20:05

    You got that? Under criminal law in N.C. a woman who bares her breasts ranks up there with granny beaters, burglars and arsonists.

    That’s sick. But I’m pretty sure that woman baring her breasts is worse than a granny beater. She’s being all uppity, and that granny probably did something to deserve that disciplining.

  111. VCarlson said,

    February 16, 2013 at 20:13

    I agree that 1 and 1a

    1. Concerned Women of America’s all-male cast of toxic fucknuggets would emerge to denounce the horrible woman for making light of breast cancer victims, repeat a few lies about birth control pills and then dive back into its collective asshole.

    1a. Millions of sick fucktards devote massive amounts of time and energy trying to track down the woman, because nothing says brave like harassing a cancer survivor!

    are sure bets should a woman who’d had a double mastectomy show up, but I think 1 might become Escher-like, in that you’d have assholes trying to climb into asshole.

  112. Snorghagen said,

    February 16, 2013 at 21:16

    We must seize the sex organs of the state!

    The proletariat must seize control of the means of reproduction!

  113. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 16, 2013 at 21:54

    The fact is, libtarts, we republican conserfatives have a firm grip on our meens of reproduction.

  114. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 22:42

    Not to be outdone in the crazystakes, Arizona court rules you don’t naveto be impaired to beconvicted for driving while impaired.

    http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle/2013/feb/14/az_court_says_you_dont_have_be_h

  115. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 16, 2013 at 22:59

    Pup, if you think that’s stoopit, you’ll love this.
    .

  116. Pupienus said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:21

    So JP, can’t you figure out just WTF it is they put in the water there and TURN OFF THE TAP it’s coming from?

  117. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:24

    It’s not in the water — it’s in the airwaves.
    .

  118. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:32

    The fact is, I made sweet sweet love to a sunwarmed pumkin one magicall late September afternoon so all jack o’ lampterns should be covered on halloween for the protection of the children. I’m from the heartland were we have traditional values, freedom agendas and no queeer marridge EVER!

  119. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:36

    H G.S. 14-3(b) Unclassified misdemeanor which is infamous, done in secrecy and malice, or with deceit and intent to defraud.

    So, lying about penis size is a class H felony in NC? I’m surprised there are any free Republicans at all.

  120. Smut Clyde said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:49

    It’s not in the water — it’s in the airwaves.

    What’s the frequency?

    Now, combine Obama’s political campaign with Google’s near-comprehensive real-time data and the left’s behavioral analysis. What do you get? Beat.

    Has anyone asked Mr Diarist Howe why the Republican campaign didn’t simply pay Google for the same information, rather than pouring their money into a rathole that nominally paid for an in-house likely-voter database but in practice was an ATM machine for good Republican consultants?

  121. El Manquécito said,

    February 16, 2013 at 23:54

    What’s the frequency?

    Dr. Kenneth? I think Smut’s talking to you.

  122. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:06

    Has anyone asked Mr Diarist Howe why the Republican campaign didn’t simply pay Google for the same information, rather than pouring their money into a rathole that nominally paid for an in-house likely-voter database but in practice was an ATM machine for good Republican consultants?

    Howe’s in on the grift in a small way, he probably deleted any comments which were too “questioning”.

  123. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:14

    What’s the frequency?

    Dr. Kenneth? I think Smut’s talking to you.

    I always pick the wrong time to hit the head, you bastid.

  124. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:15

    What’s the frequency?

    Don’t bother – you don’t have the right demodulator.

  125. Smut Clyde said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:23

    Howe’s in on the grift in a small way
    So the sequence of events runs like this:
    (1). Democratic campaigners have effective infrastructure that allow them to identify likely voters, target advertising investment, and get out the vote. Meanwhile Republican campaigners decide to build their in-house ORCA equivalent, and give all their money to pirates.

    (2). Republican campaign falls into humiliating pile of rubble. Wide-spread pointing and laughing.

    (3). Howe stokes ressentiment amongst low-information Republican voters; encourages future campaigners to create in-house rivals of Google etc. and to give all their money to pirates.

  126. Smut Clyde said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:24

    Hitting the head.

  127. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 17, 2013 at 0:26

    So the sequence of events runs like this:
    (1). Democratic campaigners have effective infrastructure that allow them to identify likely voters, target advertising investment, and get out the vote. Meanwhile Republican campaigners decide to build their in-house ORCA equivalent, and give all their money to pirates.

    (2). Republican campaign falls into humiliating pile of rubble. Wide-spread pointing and laughing.

    (3). Howe stokes ressentiment amongst low-information Republican voters; encourages future campaigners to create in-house rivals of Google etc. and to give all their money to pirates.

    (4). PROFIT!!!!

  128. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 1:53

    are sure bets should a woman who’d had a double mastectomy show up, but I think 1 might become Escher-like, in that you’d have assholes trying to climb into asshole.

    Human Escherpede!

  129. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 2:03

    Well of course AZ appeals found that guy guilty, his name is Hrach Shilgevorkyan. That’s almost as bad as being BLACK!

    Police in Tennessee, in a black SUV and in full body armor, pulled over an elderly couple because they had a “suspicious” marijuana-ish (or so the cops claimed) bumper sticker on their car, that in fact was a buckeye leaf – the couple are Ohio State Buckeye fans. The cops then ordered the couple to remove the bumper sticker.

    The people of Indiana look down on Kentucky. Ohioans laugh at West Virginians. But they all agree that Tennessee the land of cross-eyed dumbfucks.

  130. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 2:59

    The people of Indiana look down on Kentucky. Ohioans laugh at West Virginians. But they all agree that Tennessee the land of cross-eyed dumbfucks.

    And everybody hates the jews

  131. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 17, 2013 at 3:17

    Attention eggheads:

    http://chronicle.com/article/Librarians-Rally-Behind/137329/

    In 2010, Dale Askey, now a librarian at McMaster University, in Ontario, wrote a blog post about Edwin Mellen Press on his personal Web site, Bibliobrary, referring to the publisher as “dubious” and saying its books were often works of “second-class scholarship.” For a few months afterward, several people chimed in in the blog’s comments section, some agreeing with Mr. Askey, others arguing in support of the publisher.

    In June 2012, Edwin Mellen Press’s founder, Herbert Richardson, issued a notice of action to Mr. Askey, suing him for more than $1-million. That same day, the press issued a similar notice of action to Mr. Askey and McMaster University, telling them that they were being sued for $3-million. In the lawsuits, filed in a Canadian court, Mr. Richardson and the press are seeking damages for both the blog post and the comments left by the blog’s readers.

    Petitions and so on here:

    https://www.change.org/petitions/edwin-mellen-press-end-libel-suit-against-dale-askey-and-mcmaster-university

  132. Suezboo said,

    February 17, 2013 at 3:18

    Today’s bitching roundup :
    1. Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend. Damn, damn, damn. Don’t have an opinion yet on whether it was on purpose or mistaking her for an intruder, a common species in our country. Either way, damn, damn, damn. This man is/was a national sports hero, fer fk’s sake, like OJ was by you. The trial will be as big but I don’t think as divisive. Gawd, I hope not. Everyone I’ve seen is just all “Damn, damn, damn” and kicking the ground.
    2. Hulu and Netflix and other streaming sites don’t do Africa, so how the hell am I going to see seasons 7 & 8 of Bones to which I have become adolescently addicted? Bits on YouTube is just not good enough, I say.

  133. Major Kong said,

    February 17, 2013 at 3:34

    But they all agree that Tennessee the land of cross-eyed dumbfucks.

    Unfortunately I have to work there. Memphis has the worst race relations of any place I’ve ever been, Cleveland and Detroit included.

  134. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 3:45

    Substance McGravitas said,

    February 17, 2013 at 3:17

    Is Richardson any relation to Joe “Not that one, the Republican asshole” Walsh?

    I see that Askey wrote the blog while he was in the U.S. And the uni’s only connection to that post is that it currently employs him. What a bunch of bullshit. Ditto the case of a Canadian company v. a U.S. librarian.

    Looks like random lawsuits are the new business model for struggling companies. I do wish the reporter had taken five minutes to talk to a couple of attorneys. The reader is left with the impression that these lawsuits are anything other than really fucking pathetic.

  135. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:01

    Well of course AZ appeals found that guy guilty, his name is Hrach Shilgevorkyan. That’s almost as bad as being BLACK!

    WIth a name like that, I imagine he was stroking a white angora cat when the constables caught up with him.

    Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend. Damn, damn, damn. Don’t have an opinion yet on whether it was on purpose or mistaking her for an intruder, a common species in our country

    He seems to have been a bit of a loose cannon, if media reports about his home life are correct. It just goes to show you, it’s never a good idea to idolize someone just because they excel in a physical endeavor.

  136. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:13

    it’s never a good idea to idolize someone just because they excel in a physical endeavor.

    Does that include strippers?

  137. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:30

    In June 2012, Edwin Mellen Press’s founder, Herbert Richardson, issued a notice of action to Mr. Askey, suing him for more than $1-million. That same day, Herbert Richardson petitioned the court to change his name to “Barbara Steisand.”

  138. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:33

    Today’s bitching roundup :

    I have been bitching about the wall to wall Oscar Pistorius coverage over here. Criminy.

  139. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:34

    fuck. Barbra.

  140. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:34

    No no no, not “fuck Barbra.”

  141. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:35

    Aaaaand we’re back to breasts again.

  142. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:36

    Naked through the thread he runs, he said.

  143. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:37

    I shall start dancing naked through the thread. You want to see that?

  144. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:40

    I made money doing that once, as I recall, though my memories are a wee bit hazy.

  145. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:41

    I OWN THIS THREAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

  146. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:42

    Ten in a row!

  147. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:42

    11th frame STRIKE!

  148. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:42

    WOOHOO 300 game!

  149. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:45

    I’m in this thread, breakin’ ur posting streak.

  150. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 4:45

    But not your streaking streak.

  151. John Revolta said,

    February 17, 2013 at 5:00

    SHAKEZULA!

    THE MIKE RULA!

    THE OLD SCHOOLA!

    ROCKIN DA RASTAS WIT DA PASTAFAZOOLA!

    Actually I’m more of a Frylock guy myself.

  152. John Revolta said,

    February 17, 2013 at 5:05

    “Barbara Steisand.”

    Nemmine the p’s and q’s, keep an eye on those r’s……………………….

  153. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 17, 2013 at 5:11

    Actually I’m more of a Frylock guy myself.

    For a moment there, I thought you were channeling “The Cool Coach”.

  154. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 5:11

    Actually I’m more of a Frylock guy myself.

    This handle selected due to the lyrics. My handle elsewhere is based on my Frylockian affinity.

    Because let’s face it. Shake’s a jackass. And he doesn’t have laser zappy vision.

  155. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 5:39

    P.S. BACON STREAKS!

    Warning: Contains Ars.

  156. John Revolta said,

    February 17, 2013 at 6:11

    Shake’s a jackass.

    Right? How’d he get to be the leader in the first place?

  157. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:07

    Nuh-uh. He just gets first billing in the song.

    Dear Lord. Fuck Dowdy Abbey. THIS IS QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT PEEPULL.

  158. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:08

    I need more beer, less internet before something bad happens.

  159. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:14

    But first, I must leave Pupenis some running music.

  160. John Revolta said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:53

    Yow. Not sure how I missed out on the Aquabats all this time. I need to get out more.

  161. Felixmoronia said,

    February 17, 2013 at 8:02

    Suezboo:

    Check out anchorfree.com makers of expatshield which I use to watch the Beeb whilst living in the USA. I think they have an app that will give you a US IP address so you can log in to Netflix.

    If that doesn’t work install expatshield and log in from the UK. The selection is limited and Bones may or may not be available.

  162. Felixmoronia said,

    February 17, 2013 at 8:08

    Bones is ‘not available for streaming in the UK’. Maybe on Hulu.

  163. not a gator said,

    February 17, 2013 at 12:29

    The pshop topping this post is so perfect, Tintin, like a diamond cut by a master jeweler. It glows with inner fire… a true work of art.

    I may be a tiny bit drunk, but I am sincere.

  164. not a gator said,

    February 17, 2013 at 13:10

    would those proxy plug-ins work to watch British tv? seen them mentioned on trolling forums as a way to get around bans.

  165. not a gator said,

    February 17, 2013 at 13:11

    note I only enjoy trolling vicariously through the efforts of others these days. I wasn’t a very good troll. My efforts were very disappointing. Decided not to quit the day job.

  166. W. Kiernan said,

    February 17, 2013 at 16:17

    G. Ruppert sez:

    The fact is scroogled has always been a leftist codeword for the socialest gay gungrabbing redistributionalist amnestizing abortionist traytors that inhabit the ilks of sadlyno!

    that middle block of words is visually beautiful

  167. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 16:27

    I need to get out more.

    Too much work. Take a laissez-faire attitude to a Pandora station based on anything remotely new-wavey and prepare for all sorts of delightfully weird goodies.

    (Note to Spotifites: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried it and honestly prefer Pandora. Perhaps because I happen to LIKE a fair amount of randomness in life. And music. Thank you for your concern. Now go back to sorting your paperclips.)

  168. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 18:25

    whilst

    Okay, you’ve convinced me you’re a Brit.

  169. Suezboo said,

    February 17, 2013 at 18:37

    Thanks, Felix. At least I’ve got a place to start trying again. Ta muchly.

  170. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 19:38

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    A tweet re the CPAC inviting Wayne LaDick, conspiracy theorist Ben Shapiro and white supremacists John Derbyshire to CPAC while also banning GOProud: It’s like an SNL parody of what the left thinks we are.

    I’ll put the lunk in the next comment. Focking iPad.

  171. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 19:38

    http://www.politicususa.com/conservatives-divide-cpac-invite-wayne-la-pierre-banning-goproud.html

  172. VCarlson said,

    February 17, 2013 at 19:58

    A tweet re the CPAC inviting Wayne LaDick, conspiracy theorist Ben Shapiro and white supremacists John Derbyshire to CPAC while also banning GOProud: It’s like an SNL parody of what the left thinks we are.

    Um, so how do the CPAC invites differ from the reichwing’s normal behavior?

    Have you heard? According to doctors and medical researchers* women on The Pill have wombs full of dead babeez.

    *I didn’t know The Falwell Schools (no, I don’t remember any of their names, why do you ask?) had medical schools.

  173. bbkf said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:02

    Pill have wombs full of dead babeez.

    great…just being full of cooties isn’t enough? #smh and #fml…

  174. VCarlson said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:05

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/swanson-wombs-women-birth-control-embedded-dead-babies

  175. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:08

    One is not “full of cooties.” One “has cooties,” “spreads cooties,” and on rare occasions, “is crawling with cooties.”

    Sheesh.

  176. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:09

    Conservative logic: If A = B and B = C then FREEDUMB!

  177. Pupienus said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:11

    crawling with cooties

    One wonders if Australian cooties can swim.

  178. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:12

    How else would they have got to Oz? It’s an island.

  179. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:16

    If you thought the 70s sucked here, wait until you see 70s in the USSR: http://boingboing.net/2013/02/17/soviet-tv-advertisements-from.html

  180. bbkf said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:21

    Sheesh.

    see…apparently my brain is so full of girl cooties that I can’t even express myself properly….

  181. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:24

    Late in his career of designing women Mies would reveal the dead babies, perhaps using a neckace or belt.

  182. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:25

    Or necklace. But don’t bother.

  183. tigris said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:25

    One is not “full of cooties.” One “has cooties,” “spreads cooties,” and on rare occasions, “is crawling with cooties.”

    I read on the internet that one can be full of dead womb cooties.

  184. N__B said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:26

    Seasons 1 and 2 of Deadwomb were great. Season 3 fell off a bit.

  185. Suezboo said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:34

    Felix, I opened and registered etc on Anchor.com . It proceeded to take over my poor lil PC. If I tried to open teh Sadly, it opened Anchor etc. Aargh.
    Anyway, I tried doing hulu through the anchor phoney name but they saw through me in a flash – won’t give you no views because your ISP shows you’re a dirty furriner – or something like that. Sigh.
    Have killed Anchor before it kills me.

  186. Major Kong said,

    February 17, 2013 at 20:34

    If you thought the 70s sucked here, wait until you see 70s in the USSR: http://boingboing.net/2013/02/17/soviet-tv-advertisements-from.html

    That’s craptacular!

  187. Shakezula said,

    February 17, 2013 at 21:16

    Those wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies

    So … Women who use the pill have the amazing power to shrug off what would make a non-pill user really sick or dead. ‘Cos your immune system reacts really badly to a foreign objects, which is what a dead fetus would be, never mind a whole mess of them.

    In addition, their wombs must emit some protective substance that allows the fetuses to stay intact over years and years.

  188. Major Kong said,

    February 17, 2013 at 21:20

    There you go, using that fancy liberal “science” stuff.

  189. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 17, 2013 at 21:20

    Zombie Fetus Invasion would be a great band name.

  190. tigris said,

    February 17, 2013 at 21:51

    In addition, their wombs must emit some protective substance that allows the fetuses to stay intact over years and years.

    And have these Jesus freaks never heard of periods, God’s own womb-wash?

  191. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 17, 2013 at 21:53

    Did you know… I have cats?! Here’s one, now.
    .

  192. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 17, 2013 at 22:16

    So … Women who use the pill have the amazing power to shrug off what would make a non-pill user really sick or dead. ‘Cos your immune system reacts really badly to a foreign objects, which is what a dead fetus would be, never mind a whole mess of them.

    In addition, their wombs must emit some protective substance that allows the fetuses to stay intact over years and years.

    very rarely… yes
    don’t click this link
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithopedion

  193. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 1:06

    Did you know… I have cats?

    Pics or GTFO.

    Wait. Um….

  194. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 1:09

    don’t click this link

    I wouldn’t touch that link with a 10-meter cattle prod.

  195. Felixmoronia said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:15

    Suezboo

    I failed to mention that expatshield goes through some contortions before it settles down. When it loads it finally lands on a page with a column of thumbnails. Once there you can click on any bookmark or enter any web address ie: bbc.co.uk and it will take you there. It provides you with a UK IP address only. It won’t help you with Netflix or Hulu. Anchorfree’s Hotspotshield will give you a US IP address. I think. The Anchorfree support page has a lot of answers. I like expatshield because I can watch bbc programing or download to the bbc iplayer weeks or years before it is available on PBS in the US.

    It really does work!

    p.s. n_b, I’m an Iowan living in western CO hence my nym: happy land of idiots!

  196. Just Alison, also licensed to carry two nipples, albeit non-incediary ones said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:25

    when women seek to desire the men’s role

    I don’t seek to desire any men’s roles, or their rolls, for that matter.

    And they can have my nipples when they pry them from my cold dead hands.

  197. N__B said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:42

    I’m an Iowan living in western CO

    Or that’s what you’d like us think, perfidious Albion!

  198. tigris said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:46

    when women seek to desire the men’s role

    That role was ASKING FOR IT. Tramp.

  199. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:48

    Prying the nipples.
    .

  200. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:53

    A tweet re the CPAC inviting Wayne LaDick, conspiracy theorist Ben Shapiro and white supremacists John Derbyshire to CPAC while also banning GOProud: It’s like an SNL parody of what the left thinks we are.

    Does anybody with more intestinal fortitude want to troll righty sites complaining about how CPAC has been infiltrated by liberals because there’s no “open carry” policy?

  201. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:53

    Poling the Danica.
    .

  202. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 2:56

    Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 17, 2013 at 22:16

    I knew one you smart bastids would mention that. But I didn’t think anyone would be so evil as to post a link. Seriously. Unless your medical/scientific interest is at least an 8 on a 1-10 scale, DO NOT CLICK THE LINK. You will not learn anything that will make you happy.

    However, it is, as you point out rare. And the idea that the pill works by allowing development until the point where an identifiable fetus has formed just so it can become an ossified charm dangling from mommy’s womb … Well it just goes to show neocons are pathological liars who should be ignored since it is illegal to beat them purple with lead-filled bamboo rods.

    For some reason.

    when women seek to desire the men’s role

    I myself prefer a word that rhymes and starts with p. But that’s probably a sin too.

  203. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 3:18

    I myself prefer a word that rhymes and starts with p. But that’s probably a sin too.

    Prescient poling of the Danica.
    .

  204. Smut Clyde said,

    February 18, 2013 at 3:19

    when women seek to desire the men’s role
    That role was ASKING FOR IT. Tramp.

    And so tigris came to star in Waiting for Godot…

  205. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 3:19

    since it is illegal to beat them purple with lead-filled bamboo rods

    Um, just how illegal are we talking here?

    I mean, if we’re in speeding-ticket territory I might just be willing to give it a go.

  206. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 3:48

    I don’t seek to desire any men’s roles, or their rolls, for that matter.

    I dunno, those Parker House rolls are delicious enough to tempt just about anyone.

  207. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 3:56

    I dunno, those Parker House rolls are delicious enough to tempt just about anyone.

    Sarah Jessica Parker House rolls have a face like a foot!
    .

  208. Austin Loomis said,

    February 18, 2013 at 4:18

    I’ve clicked on some clear-quill, first-water, Trenco-grade schmuck bait in my time, but I’m not going to click that lithopedion link. Especially any time within 24 hours after I’ve eaten, drunk, slept or breathed. I leave that sort of thing to my friend who’s visited the Mütter Museum.

  209. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 4:37

    Seems the first famous person I met when I moved to Nashville has kilt herself.
    .

  210. El Manquecito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 4:39

    Who dat JP?

  211. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 4:42

    Mindy McCready. Once upon a time, my business associates and she, with her manager, met us for a business lunch at the Green Hills Grill. We were pitching her a web site before web sites were household words. Didn’t get hers, but we got Hal Ketcham’s (who…?!).
    .

  212. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:00

    I guess that was 1996, the year I moved here. I think her big deal album had just come out. I’d never heard of her.
    .

  213. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:03

    Then again, I never was into country music (or whatever this stuff is).
    .

  214. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:04

    Much of what I hear playing on radios in businesses whose backflow assemblies I am there to test sounds like rock with fake-hick voices doing the vocals.
    .

  215. Obama's Secret Police said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:05

    Actually, we’ve bugged all those telescopic sights with flashlight/ laser beams screwed onto them. (Subliminal messages across the crosshairs.) Those, combined with the various brands of “Survival Knives”* have proven extremely successful.

    Republicans lack sufficient amounts of Google-Fu for it to a viable path for mind control.

    *Low frequency vibration that targets the Amygdala.

  216. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:24

    Hey, hey, hey! Will you please stop making them crap their pants. Some of us are trying to walk here.

  217. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:36

    Much of what I hear playing on radios in businesses whose backflow assemblies I am there to test sounds like rock with fake-hick voices doing the vocals.

    My big problem with the genre is that it tends to be slick and overly produced.

    Holy crap, the local radio station is playing this, which is fucking hilarious!

  218. Obama's Secret Police said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:41

    The most successful phrase we’ve discovered to get Republicans to behave the way we want is, “Well, I agree with you!”

    Combined with a tingle from the survival knife they are clutching and tehy are our slaves.

    Now, forget where you read this online…

  219. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 5:47

    Much of what I hear playing on radios in businesses whose backflow assemblies I am there to test sounds like rock with fake-hick voices doing the vocals.

    It sounds like bad 80′s pop with some twang thrown in to make it “country”.

    And then there’s the generic trying way too hard to sound masculine male country singer voice that 90% of them seem to have.

  220. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 6:07

    It sounds like bad 80?s pop with some twang thrown in to make it “country”.

    Oh, great, now I have “Safety Dance” playing in my head, complete with a Dwight Yoakem (sp?) vocal.

  221. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 6:08

    Oh, great, now I have “Safety Dance” playing in my head, complete with a Dwight Yoakem (sp?) vocal.

    You’re welcome.

  222. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 6:11

    MoDilla is Concerned.

    Yeah. Journalism has deteriorated to the point where a reporter doing a story on the damage done by a toxic waste spill will seek out some bat-shit loony who claims people should delighted to have toxic waste in their front yards because ya gotta have “both sides of the debate.” But get something wrong in a movie and WHOOP! WHOOOP! Defcon 1!!

    Shit, people still refer to lemmings jumping off a cliff thanks to Disney and what do you know? Civilization did not topple.

  223. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    February 18, 2013 at 7:41

    And they can have my nipples when they pry them from my cold dead hands.

    You have nipples on your hands?

  224. John Revolta said,

    February 18, 2013 at 8:11

    Wait, are you saying that lemmings DON’T jump off cliffs? Because they might as well, in that case. I mean, that’s their THING. Their thing that they’re FAMOUS for. What else can you tell me about a goddamn lemming?

    Boy. You can’t believe in nuthin’ no more.

  225. Snorghagen said,

    February 18, 2013 at 8:16

    Civilization did not topple.

    Give it time.

  226. John Revolta said,

    February 18, 2013 at 8:24

    It sounds like bad 80?s pop with some twang thrown in to make it “country”.

    This, only they still do crank out some pretty clever and funny songs on occasion. It’s a Nashville tradition.

    (I only know this because a blues band I used to play in morphed into a country band when I wasn’t looking.)

  227. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 18, 2013 at 11:39

    This, only they still do crank out some pretty clever and funny songs on occasion.

    I’m one of those weird people who don’t listen to lyrical content. I hear the vocals as another instrument, and hence don’t give a fuck how brilliant Neil Young’s lyrics are. The pitch and timbre shut that down, right off the bat.
    .

  228. Austin Loomis said,

    February 18, 2013 at 16:35

    I’m one of those weird people who don’t listen to lyrical content. I hear the vocals as another instrument

    …and JP’s true identity is revealed. So tell me, George, did it really never occur to you even for a moment that the Gungans, Nemoidians and Toydarians might be perceived as racist?

  229. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 16:41

    This, only they still do crank out some pretty clever and funny songs on occasion.

    I was a big fan of “alt country” bands like Son Volt, who ironically sound more country than a lot of Nashville acts these days.

  230. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 18, 2013 at 16:45

    If you like alt country I heartily recommend the Old 97′s.

  231. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 17:04

    Yep, them too.

  232. bughunter said,

    February 18, 2013 at 17:49

    I’m one of those weird people who don’t listen to lyrical content.

    According to my HS Jazz band conductor, that makes you a male.

    She was convinced, and convinced many others, that men don’t listen to lyrics… or more precisely, that women listen more closely to the lyrics’ meaning than men.

    And she was hot (and I possessed other qualities universal to teenage males), so I believed her.

    And I started to listen to the lyrics.

  233. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 17:56

    According to my HS Jazz band conductor, that makes you a male.

    I listen to the lyrics.

    It was always fun trying to figure out the lyrics to early REM songs.

    “Michael! Take the marbles out of your mouth and enunciate already!”

  234. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 18:14

    I am I said
    To no-one there
    And no-one heard at all
    Not even the chair.

  235. Snorghagen said,

    February 18, 2013 at 18:54

    She was convinced, and convinced many others, that men don’t listen to lyrics

    I must be a girly-man – I listen, and I’ve always very much appreciated songs with interesting lyrics.

    It was always fun trying to figure out the lyrics to early REM songs.

    And then there’s this old gem, for those who haven’t seen it before.

  236. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 18:57

    And I started to listen to the lyrics.

    Worked like a charm, dinnit?

  237. Whale Chowder said,

    February 18, 2013 at 19:23

    God I listen to lyrics. The endless drone of love songs makes me crazy sometimes. Of course, I was in my formative years when protest songs were all the rage so there was a reason to pay attention to the lyrics.

    Besides, I’m an inveterate reader. Words are important to me.

  238. El Manquécito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:14

    Cord wrote my favorite commentary on modern country music.

  239. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:22

    She was convinced, and convinced many others, that men don’t listen to lyrics

    NWA never went anywhere because the beats were pretty plain.

  240. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:25

    I started blocking out the lyrics after hearing

    Every day a little sadder
    A little madder
    Someone get me a ladder

    Hurt my brain, that did.

  241. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:30

    You have your ooooooowwwwn convertible
    And a headband!

  242. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:32

    Cord wrote my favorite commentary on modern country music.

    So who’s the chief murderer? Garth Brooks?

  243. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:32

    Fortunately, I forgot one day to block out the lyrics so I got to hear
    Well I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
    And I went to pick her up in the rain
    But before I could get to the station in a pickup truck
    She got run’d over by a damned old train

  244. VCarlson said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:39

    According to that jazz band conductor, then, many people picking wedding songs were/are male. ISTR hearing that the most popular wedding song at one time was one of Sting’s, which was all about suicide, as I recall.

  245. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:41

    That Righteous Bubba guy could pick ‘em.

  246. N__B said,

    February 18, 2013 at 20:59

    I attended a wedding where someone thought “Two Suns in the Sunset” – a song about nuclear war – was romantic.

  247. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:07

    Cardinal (get this!) ROGER:

    Given all of the storms that have surrounded me and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles recently, God’s grace finally helped me to understand: I am not being called to serve Jesus in humility. Rather, I am being called to something deeper–to be humiliated, disgraced, and rebuffed by many.

    I was not ready for this challenge. Ash Wednesday changed all of that, and I see Lent 2013 as a special time to reflect deeply upon this special call by Jesus.

    To be honest with you, I have not reached the point where I can actually pray for more humiliation. I’m only at the stage of asking for the grace to endure the level of humiliation at the moment.

  248. N__B said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:07

    Leveling the humiliation.

  249. El Manquécito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:08

    Yeah Sub, I remember that thread. RB was on fire.

  250. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:09

    Is it accurate to say country got watered down as much as it did because all of the people that got scared of pop when hip hop got added to the playlist switched to country stations, and began listening to and buying the music of anyone that sounded like the Eagles.

  251. El Manquécito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:18

    One theory is that the country folk wanted to prove they were all sofisticated and stuff and started prettifying the arrangements. I’ve heard Owen Bradley blamed for this but there were lots of unindicted co-conspirators. Later, certainly, the hats, with Garth leading them channeled the Eagles and made what is Nashville today.

  252. tigris said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:27

    I am not being called to serve Jesus in humility. Rather, I am being called to something deeper–to be humiliated, disgraced, and rebuffed by many.

    OH BOO HOO. Yeah, see, you are NOT being humiliated for Christ’s sake, you are being vilified for knowingly protecting child rapists TO THE POINT OF ABETTING CONTINUED RAPE. Self-righteous halo buffer.

  253. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:31

    Thanks to God’s special grace, I simply stood there, asking God to bless and forgive them.

    Fuck you, you arrogant piece of filth. How dare you think you’re winning celestial brownie points here? If you really believed in a God you’d crawl your ass into the deepest cave you could find and hope to avoid being made into a pillar of salt.

    As it is, be grateful you live in a country of mostly civilized human beings. The fact that an angry mob hasn’t left your lightly roasted corpse hanging from a lamp pole says that unlike you, the people you’ve betrayed understand personal responsibility. Humiliation? You deserve to be flogged and pilloried.

    But you know, as the country has moved away from direct adherence to religious principles, such punishments have died out. Lucky for you, eh?

    For those of you who need a refresher (because keeping track of all of the miscreants in the Raped Children Corporation can be a challenge):

    Cardinal Mahony is a prime example. Even after his archdiocese reached a $660 million civil settlement with more than 500 victims of abuse in 2007, he and the hierarchy did everything in their power to avoid individual accountability. As recently as last week, church lawyers tried to keep secret the names of top officials and parish priests implicated in abuse cases. Fortunately, a California judge ordered disclosure of the relevant church personnel files.

    That triggered publication of some 14,000 pages, including notes between Cardinal Mahony and a top aide showing that they repeatedly transferred abusive priests out of the country and the state to evade investigators and publicity. The cardinal also cautioned against exposing abusive priests to therapists who might be legally obligated to report their crimes.

    In response to his public rebuke, Cardinal Mahony, who has a master’s degree in social work, wrote that nothing in his training had alerted him to the risks involved in the sexual abuse of minors. How about common sense, respect for the law and a basic understanding of human beings?

    Yeah, this is one of the people who will help select the next pope. Seriously, I understand the need for some sort of spirituality in one’s life. But the R.C.C., really?

  254. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:42

    Thanks to God’s special grease, his fried chicken can’t be beat.

  255. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:43

    Hmm… Owen Bradley signed Conway Twitty…

  256. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 21:50

    Later, certainly, the hats, with Garth leading them channeled the Eagles and made what is Nashville today.

    Someone described it to me as sounding like “Every bad Eagles song that never made it onto an album back in the 70s”.

  257. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:14

    To be honest with you, I have not reached the point where I can actually pray for more humiliation. I’m only at the stage of asking for the grace to endure the level of humiliation at the moment.

    Silly cardinal, that’s what dominatrices are for.

  258. N__B said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:17

    A dominatrice is a woman who plays dominos quickly, right?

  259. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:26

    Seriously, I understand the need for some sort of spirituality in one’s life. But the R.C.C., really?

    I don’t even understand the need for spirituality. I have enough visible friends.

    A dominatrice is a woman who plays dominos quickly, right?

    I thought it was a woman who wore three little masks.

  260. Whiskey said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:26

    I don’t even understand the need for spirituality

    I thought we had something real.

  261. Major Kong said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:31

    A dominatrice is a woman who plays dominos quickly, right?

    If that’s what you’re into I suppose.

  262. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:37

    For a cardinal, a cockatrice.

  263. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:41

    Jennifer BiliRubin does not like Chuck Hagel. Vicious hit piece at WaPoop.

  264. Snorghagen said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:53

    Thanks to God’s special grace, I simply stood there, asking God to bless and forgive them.

    Fuck, that’s weird. Complete lack of remorse and complete inability to comprehend why anyone would be outraged at what he did. Yick.

  265. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:06

    Dirty fries at Lardo. Fried porky bits, pickled peppers, fried herbs, Parmesan. Really good with the double burger – f urger with pork belly on a nice brioche bun. http://imgur.com/pgNJsXQ

  266. El Manquecito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:16

    Sounds really good Pup. I’ll counter with my farewell lunch in New Orleans last week: Liuzza’s by the Track garlic oyster poboy and BBQ shrimp poboy that we traded back and forth. Magnificent.

  267. Pupienus said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:20

    Mmmm haven’t had an oyster poboy in ages. Imma hafta put that on my meal plan for next week.

  268. Shakezula said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:36

    Snorghagen said,

    February 18, 2013 at 22:53

    I’m not saying he’s a sociopath, but his behavior now and in the past sure as fuck meshes with a lot of the symptoms. Seriously? Do you see a glimmering of remorse here? Maybe it is there, but his dancing about “Tra la la, it’s all about me!” is one hell of a distraction.

  269. El Manquecito said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:41

    Note my restraint for not regaling y’all with a week of great NO feedbags including two days on my brother’s expense account. Oh yeah there was a party goin on.

  270. RobW said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:50

    CPAC has been infiltrated by liberals because there’s no “open carry” policy
    CPAC is held in a convention center with plenty of exits and fast-responding emergency services. Save this rumor for the NRO cruise.

  271. Smut Clyde said,

    February 18, 2013 at 23:51

    I’m only at the stage of asking for the grace to endure the level of humiliation at the moment.

    The guy seems unaccountably confident that enduring the level of humiliation is something that God intends him to go. Perhaps God’s Plan is for him to resign and adopt a false name and disappear from the face of the earth.

  272. tigris said,

    February 19, 2013 at 0:09

    Perhaps God’s Plan is for him to resign and adopt a false name and disappear from the face of the earth.

    THE BIBLE says God’s plan is worse than tying a millstone around his neck and throwing him into the sea, but I’d be willing to settle.

  273. El Manquecito said,

    February 19, 2013 at 0:16

    Can we get Cato and his sack?

  274. Helmut Monotreme said,

    February 19, 2013 at 0:16

    Perhaps God’s Plan is for him to resign and adopt a false name and disappear from the face of the earth.

    I really hope God’s plan for one of these hypocrites is to plead guilty and sing like a canary, in the hope of a reduced sentence. The catholic church has not shown any kind of willingness to clean its own house, perhaps they need some help.

  275. El Manquecito said,

    February 19, 2013 at 0:29

    Some research tells me that the leather sack with a dog, monkey, rooster, snake and scourged offender (the Cardinal might like that) tossed in the Tiber is associated with Quintus Cicero.

  276. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 19, 2013 at 0:43

    In RB’s defense, All Saints is frigging hawt.

  277. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 1:04

    Some research tells me that the leather sack with a dog, monkey, rooster, snake and scourged offender (the Cardinal might like that) tossed in the Tiber is associated with Quintus Cicero.

    Even if you don’t toss the sack in the river, sewing animals in a bag with a member of the Raped Children Corporation is unnecessarily cruel.

  278. GOD said,

    February 19, 2013 at 1:06

    My plan for him is to EAT SHIT AND DIE.

  279. tigris said,

    February 19, 2013 at 1:23

    Hmm, I may need to check out this God guy again, he sounds alright.

  280. Snorghagen said,

    February 19, 2013 at 1:48

    The catholic church has not shown any kind of willingness to clean its own house

    On the contrary! The Vatican may be reactionary, corrupt, senile, insanely authoritarian, and generally despicable, but they’ve made a bold move that should take care of their many problems. They’ve hired a Fox News reporter to “help craft the message”. Mission accomplished!

  281. Snorghagen said,

    February 19, 2013 at 2:01

    Also, Pope Ratzo has opened a Twitter account. What more could anyone want?

  282. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 19, 2013 at 2:24

    FishRotzoFromTheHeadDown.
    .

  283. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 19, 2013 at 2:58

    Also, one for The Major.
    .

  284. Just Alison, also licensed to carry two nipples, albeit non-incediary ones said,

    February 19, 2013 at 3:05

    You have nipples on your hands?

    I keep my hands on ‘em, Spear, just so’s they don’t get grabbed by peculiarly nipple-obsessed righties.

  285. Major Kong said,

    February 19, 2013 at 3:10

    Also, one for The Major.

    You’re right. There is a resemblance.

  286. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 4:24

    They’ve hired a Fox News reporter to “help craft the message”.

    Oh yes please, motherfuckers. Bring on the hand crafted message for raping kids.

    I have seen many things I hoped to see but never thought I’d see and watching the RCC crumble is still high on my wish list. With a Fauxite on the case, I feel real lucky.

    Excuse me. A little birdie said I should invest in rope and tar.

  287. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 4:24

    In happier news: PENGUIN! POOP!

  288. John Revolta said,

    February 19, 2013 at 5:47

    Random Penguins= awesomest band name EVAR..

  289. Snorghagen said,

    February 19, 2013 at 6:14

    Random Penguins= awesomest band name EVAR..

    From upthread, I’m partial to The Slithering Breasts.

  290. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    February 19, 2013 at 6:22

    Random Penguins= awesomest band name EVAR..

    I beg to differ. Well… not so much “beg,” actually. More like, “Lissen up, shitbrick — THIS is WAY more AWESOMER!”

    Fink Penguinos
    .

  291. not a gator said,

    February 19, 2013 at 6:42

    Some research tells me that the leather sack with a dog, monkey, rooster, snake and scourged offender

    The ram, dragon, tiger and rat are chopped liver?

  292. not a gator said,

    February 19, 2013 at 6:45

    I like Rubin’s new moniker, JRub. Could be website too. Popup ads on Jdate?

    Hey, guuuyyyyyyys, talking about eating in New Orleans, how does one enjoy NO cuisine gluten free? Taking the train there in a couple of months.

  293. El Manquecito said,

    February 19, 2013 at 7:25

    Gluten free is just as big there as elsewhere; it’s a tourist food industry and they cater to all, er, tastes.

  294. bughunter said,

    February 19, 2013 at 8:58

    Fink Penguinos

    The Plantar Nipples

  295. bughunter said,

    February 19, 2013 at 8:59

    or Teh Planetary Nipples, if you’re a megaphile

  296. smut clyde said,

    February 19, 2013 at 9:59

    Bring on the hand crafted message for raping kids.
    An artisanal message, in fact.

    So for decades, in the US and across Northern Europe,* the Catholic hierarchy has worked to ensure that underlings enjoy the medieval tradition of Benefit of Clergy… ecclesiastic child-rapists should not be exposed to the secular legal system, but should be processed in-house under canon Sharia Law.

    This agitation about Islamification? All projection.

    * Also presumably in Southern Europe, but we’re mainly hearing the stories about enslavement of young girls, infant abduction for sale, and castration of rape-reporting boys from northern countries where Catholicism is part of the establishment but not in a dominant position.

  297. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 19, 2013 at 14:37

    Planetary Gearbox has always struck me as a really dirty phrase.

  298. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 15:56

    It’s a human being! No, it’s an organ! No wait …

    …Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin (R-Ala.), who claimed in a recent interview that “when a physician removes a child from a woman, that is the largest organ in a body.” … She continued: “That’s a big thing. That’s a big surgery. You don’t have any other organs in your body that are bigger than that.” McClurkin is pushing for legislation that would impose restrictions on abortion clinics, a bill she says is not intended to ban abortions.

    ‘Cos you see, we’ll call the baby an organ and so the act of giving birth will be a major surgery, heh heh and then no one will be able to perform abortions outside of hospitals, even though throughout much of fetal development – particularly during the period when the vast majority of abortions (intentional and spontaneous) occur – there are a fuck of a lot of organs that are larger (also your skin – guess what THAT is), with a slight question mark for Ms. McClurkin, who may well have a brain that is smaller than a zygote.

    Neither will we consider the fact that many women give birth outside of the hospital (see for example … all of history until quite recently and lots of places where electricity don’t run, and don’t expect any birthday cards from the American College of Nurse Midwives).

    And what the fuck kind of statement is it that the doctor removes the baby, anyway? In an ideal vaginal birth, the doctor serves as a glorified catcher.

    And please don’t point out that the decision to have an organ removed is completely without moral context so she just blew the shit out of the PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE crapola. So, by calling it organ removal, most women would be asking a doctor to remove a snippet of skin, a procedure which – please take note Republican dumbfucks – would only done in the office under conditions that are less sterile than current standards call for.

    Dear sweet Jesus. To paraphrase Sir Terry, watching Republitwats attempt to be clever is like watching a dog try to play the trombone.

  299. VCarlson said,

    February 19, 2013 at 19:04

    And what the fuck kind of statement is it that the doctor removes the baby, anyway? In an ideal vaginal birth, the doctor serves as a glorified catcher

    But the “ideal birth” nowadays, at least as defined by the (still mostly male) MDs, is a C-section, scheduled ahead of time for the physician’s convenience. Never mind that each pregnancy is unique, and who knows what the child might be missing by skipping out on those last days/weeks of pregnancy? Not to mention putting the mother through unnecessary abdominal surgery.

  300. Thread Bear said,

    February 19, 2013 at 19:32

    The ideal birth.

  301. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 19:35

    I’ve heard of induced labor for parent convenience. (Which weirds me out but I don’t have kids so … Whatever?)

    Elective c-sections (even by pt. choice) are still something ACOG isn’t crazy about, because there is a huge risk, not just then, but if the woman has a second pregnancy. (She might not be able to have a vaginal birth without a lot of risk.)

    C-sections have become easier to perform as it possible to have the procedure without the need for general anesthetic. Ergo no pain associated with vaginal delivery, no episiotomy, but still it is a major surgery where vaginal birth is not.

    I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but if there are OBs out there saying “You have to have a c-section, for some non-medically necessary reason,” (or even “We’re going to induce labor on this date because I’m going on vacation”), their ass needs to be hauled before a medical board, the same as the doctor who says “You need to have a stent,” when the patient doesn’t.

  302. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 19:40

    p.s. Apologies to any guys who are now curled up making “Eew, shaddupshaddupshaddup!” noises.

    Here is a link featuring a hot babe to take your minds off the subject.

  303. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 19, 2013 at 20:54

    Here is a link featuring a hot babe

    I kind of like them cold from the fridge the next morning.

  304. smut clyde said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:01

    I was expecting “Baby’s on Fire”.

  305. VCarlson said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:08

    Ah. Induced, had forgotten about that. Mom had an emergency C-section for my sister (it was 1962, Mexico City, they thought the baby was in distress – and it might have been a boy. So my sister was delivered about a month premature, and the first time Mom saw her she had a bandage on her ear). She had a massive scar on her absomen, and my brother also had to be delivered via C-section. Scheduling still makes me wonder – I still think it’s iffy.

  306. VCarlson said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:10

    And the comments are a bit depressing – the guys talking about her (to them) extreme hairiness, f’rinstance.

  307. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:11

    YouTube comments, this time you have let me down.

  308. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:21

    Somehow Sarah Palin still makes me smile.

  309. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 19, 2013 at 21:46

    Go read this.

  310. Whiskey said,

    February 19, 2013 at 22:03

    Being a participant – and if we’re honest, an observer did nothing but contribute as best he could to his wife’s mental well-being – in a hospital delivery was fascinating. Some doctors felt pretty strongly for inducing and C-sections; some doctors and most nurses were pretty strongly against. But all, fortunately, seemed content to watch how the individual birth in question proceeded and base their decisions on actual evidence.

    Also, my only “Ew” moment was the OB came into the room wearing hip-waders.

  311. Major Kong said,

    February 19, 2013 at 22:41

    I was 7 when my sister was born.

    I couldn’t figure out how my mother and all her friends were going to fit into our small bathroom for the “baby shower”.

    When they talked about the baby being “delivered” I assumed that the Postman was going to bring it to the house.

  312. Shakezula said,

    February 19, 2013 at 22:58

    Oh Mr. Postman, can’t you see,
    If there’s a baby in your bag for me.
    I’ve been waiting such a long-long time.
    Since I conceived this baby of mine!

  313. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:06

    When they talked about the baby being “delivered” I assumed that the Postman was going to bring it to the house.

    Now that you’ve been flying air freight, you know how they’re delivered.

  314. N__B said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:06

    While there are those who say my presence is intoxicating, I am not Whiskey.

  315. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:10

    While there are those who say my presence is intoxicating, I am not Whiskey.

    That leaves Democracy, Freedom and Sexy – which one is it? Also too, #PicsOrItDidntHappen

  316. Substance McGravitas said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:11

    Where’d Gavin and HTML go? Boo hoo.

  317. tigris said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:16

    I am not Whiskey.

    Oh, because that totally would’ve explained the waders.

  318. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:19

    I am not Whiskey.

    Alright, you’re either Democracy or Sexy… which is it?

  319. gocart mozart said,

    February 19, 2013 at 23:24

    Lindsey Graham calls for investigation of internet rumors.

    http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2013/02/18/17004860-watching-standards-fall-to-new-lows

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Lindsey+Graham+is+gay#seen

  320. The Principal Contributt said,

    February 20, 2013 at 0:25

    I just can’t understand why any guy would willingly show off that mound of tenuously held-in gut-flab like it’s something attractive, presuming the pre-shopped photo wasn’t altered.

    “Hey girls*, I’m a neurotic, weapon-armed manchild with the impressive physique of a sized-up infant, come and get it~!”

    Yack.

    *there’s no way a dude into dudes would ever take a picture of himself looking like this, ever.

  321. Pupienus said,

    February 20, 2013 at 0:37

    http://www.ted.com/talks/miguel_nicolelis_a_monkey_that_controls_a_robot_with_its_thoughts_no_really.html

    AND I STILL CAN’T BUY A GODDAMN FLYING JETCAR!

  322. Bitter Scribe said,

    February 20, 2013 at 0:56

    There can never be too much Sarah Palin.

  323. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    February 20, 2013 at 0:57

    AND I STILL CAN’T BUY A GODDAMN FLYING JETCAR!

    I guess they gave up on the Williams WASP. (The civilian version that preceded this didn’t have that tub around the pilot, but I can’t find any pictures of that offhand.

  324. Smut Clyde said,

    February 20, 2013 at 1:22

    Being a participant – and if we’re honest, an observer did nothing but contribute as best he could to his wife’s mental well-being – in a hospital delivery was fascinating.

    I was there to test the drugs.

  325. bbkf said,

    February 20, 2013 at 1:40

    so…srsly? am i going to sit all by myself in the brand new thread?

  326. N__B said,

    February 20, 2013 at 2:08

    I’ll get my hip waders.

  327. Ray Laizure said,

    March 12, 2013 at 7:27

    Hi, I have thought about getting the software program DubTurbo Beatmaker and was hoping anybody could give me an actual legitimate critique of the program. Almost all the web pages that provide you with opinions are in reality affiliates endorsing the program and so i don’t believe that the critiques are valid. Many thanks in advance for all the insight someone can offer.

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