Shorter Erich von Erich
Red State Championship Wretardling
“Thank God for American Crossroads and the Conservative Victory Project”
“Faulty Premises and Outlooks Formed”
- If Karl Rove thinks he can push a bunch of pussyfied RINO candidates on us, he’s got another thing coming. The movement wants real Genghis Khan conservatives, not squishy centrists like Attila the Hun.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
The urge to point and laff is high with this one, and it will only get lulzier. Butthurt blarging and vows to fight by Anchor Baby and Virgin Ben are just the start. Yes, thank you, I would like some popcorn.
The tea bag thing was an astroturf rebranding operation started by the rulers of the Republican Party who also happen to be more or less the rulers of America, who are basically libertarian and only pretend to care about the culture war in order garner the votes of yokels they actually despise. Since Reagan, this strategy had worked well enough but then George W. Bush’s massive unpopularity and the country’s growing inequality and changing demographics killed it. Tea baggery was a moderately risky doubling-down action by the Rulers; the need for relabeling* wingnuttery necessitated it, but for it to work the social con crap had to be tightly controlled. Too little and not enough rubes will vote Republican; too much and too many decent people will be alienated to the point of voting against Republicans. It’s a Machiavellian bit of theater gone awry for the Rulers who personally don’t give a single solitary shit about Jesus, abortion, identity politics, racism, Islam, or anything else except money, lotsa lotsa money, how to make more of it or, better yet, how to steal it.
Most peons in the conservative movement worship business culture yet have proven to be total suckers for what amounts to be a marketing campaign, believing the hype and thinking the relatively small dollop of power cynically but at the time necessarily devolved to them by the Rulers is as grand and perpetual as all that. They will soon learn, though the fight will drag on with much entertainment value. I personally can’t wait for Rove or his replacement-level electoral bagman of the Wealthy Criminal Class to recast von Erich from movement
fattyface babyface to heel. The rulers are wily, and unless they can come up with a national candidate gifted enough, like Reagan, for the rubes to form a cult of personality around (always a possibility for what is essentially a fascist movement) while simultaneously appealing to enough politically naive people, I think the social cons get less consideration in the future and are only allowed to speak when the Rulers need a loud achtung from the hinterlands but more often ball-gagged and told to STFU.
For all the whining among technocrat Villager types about polarization, I see consolidation in the future — at least at the top. No group has a more attuned sense of self-preservation than the Rulers, who will pay for the election of national candidates resembling Obama at his worst or Bloomberg and Andrew Cuomo at their most typical. The culture has moved and unlike social cons, the Rulers will adapt to that — are adapting. Wars will continue as long as they are profitable, the police state will grow, the poor and middle class robbed and bullied, the crown jewel of social security ripe for the picking. The Rulers got to be Rulers by using and discarding things and people as needed. Red State White Trash Blue Balled morons butthurt about sluts’ abortions and homo-marriage were once useful but are now increasingly a liability and will be treated like it, they just don’t know it yet.
*As described in Master Confucius’s (CEO of Son of Heaven Industries) bestseller, chapter four, “Rectify The Language”.