Feb
2

All Cretins Are Stupid, Said the Cretin




Posted at 8:54 by HTML Mencken

steynhead150.jpg  =  joehead150.jpg
Above: G.I. Steyn trumps Sgt. Hagel’s two purple hearts with two rip-roaring farts.

Shorter Mark Steyn
Not-Profitable Review
“Containing Hagel”

  • Not only is Chuck Hagel a wimpy, antisemitic, mullah-coddling traitor, he’s also a retard.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

32 Comments »

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2013 at 11:01

    Obama Derangement Syndrome has really curdled their cortices… now we have National Review lauding the good sense of Nazis and attacking the intelligence of a noted Republican. I know “Peak Wingnut” is an impossibility, but where do they go from here, actual poo-flinging on Fox News?

  2. tensor said,

    February 2, 2013 at 11:21

    I like how Mark Steyn (isn’t that like The Shorter family naming their child “Wee”?) can’t understand the difference between our Departments of State and War Defense. A *military* policy of “containment” can support a *diplomatic* policy of “prevention”.

    Then again, for someone who hates Hillary, despises Obama, and wants us to nuke Iran now the day before yesterday, such points are for losers who “get” nuance.

  3. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    February 2, 2013 at 12:47

    I like how Mark Steyn (isn’t that like The Shorter family naming their child “Wee”?) can’t understand the difference between our Departments of State and War Defense

    The stupidest feature of right-wing thought is that they are blind to the fact that America’s true strength lies in its overwhelming soft power, not its military might. You want a counter to the threats posed by Al Qaeda/Islamofascism/Wahhabism? Hit their people with sex and drugs and rock-and/or-roll. Shit, Iranian kids should have been waving posters of Elvis, not the fucking Ayatollah Khomeini back in 1977, but the West fucking blew it in the 1950′s because we were so damn greedy and wanted to take their stuff. This is why they think that Rock the Casbah is a “conservative” song… dumbasses think it’s about rocking the casbah with explosions and not, uh, “rock”.

    I think a major factor in the Right’s disdain for “soft power” is the fact that the juggernaut of American pop culture is rooted in African American culture. They’d rather see it destroyed here than disseminated abroad.

  4. mat said,

    February 2, 2013 at 14:02

    From The NYT:

    Another freshly minted and anonymously backed organization, Use Your Mandate, which presents itself as a liberal gay rights group but purchases its television time through a prominent Republican firm, is attacking Mr. Hagel as ‘anti-Gay,’ ‘anti-woman’ and ‘anti-Israel’ in ads and mailers.

    Gay rights group, you say? Is anyone buying this charade? Since when do “liberal gay rights groups” hide behind anonymity and shadowy behavior? Isn’t anonymity = closeted and therefore repugnant to most self-respecting liberal gay rights activists?

    I smell the acrid plastic stench of right-wing astroturffing going on here. How clever: claim fags hate Hagel to get the libby faggitty fag crowd to oppose Hagel and hence oppose their beloved chocolate Jesus who appointed him.

    I mean, of course there’s lots of head scratching going on over Hagel’s nomination among the left, but, who the fuck on the left has the kind of dough being thrown around like this “liberal gay rights group” Use Your Mandate has been spending on TV ads and mailers? And if a “liberal gay rights group” did have this kind of dough, why would they waste it on opposing Hagel, who is going to be nominated despite all the wingnuts’ screeching? Wouldn’t all this dough be more wisely spent on gay issues that truly matter?

    This may be the new right-wing tactic, to create spurious left-wing activist groups and funnel their filth indirectly through them. I can just imagine the Koch brothers and Rick Santorum giggling over the massive ironies of this clever ruse.

    Fucking Citizens United. You can see where this is going in the future.

  5. N__B said,

    February 2, 2013 at 15:44

    The only reason I oppose Hagel’s nomination is that I find his philosophy incomprehensible.

  6. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2013 at 16:41

    B^4 and mat said it all. Goddamn right.

  7. S. cerevisiae said,

    February 2, 2013 at 16:44

    I love how the wingers suddenly think Chuck fucking Hagel is some kind of liberal bastion of liberalism. He’s a fucking republican you idjits.

  8. Shakezula said,

    February 2, 2013 at 17:03

    I smell the acrid plastic stench of right-wing astroturffing going on here. How clever: claim fags hate Hagel to get the libby faggitty fag crowd to oppose Hagel and hence oppose their beloved chocolate Jesus who appointed him.

    Blahaha.

    Yes, and the way you can be absolutely certain the astroturf is nourished by GOP manure is the way it is guaranteed to make the Base decide Hagel is the best thing since sliced bread.

    The assholes in Congress will discover the Base really doesn’t give a fuck about a bunch of Jews out in the desert somewhere, and face a lot pressure to vote for the guy who hates kweers. Because someone … Oh, I think it was the Republican Party, convinced its voters that Satan got to rip the wings off an angel every time a non-hetero couple was left in peace for five seconds. See also the GOP’s attempts to convince the Base, immigration reform isn’t the worst thing since the end of DADT. Bwahaha!

    Those fuckers would be better off setting fire to big stacks of cash and blaming it on liberal arsonists, but this is funnier.

  9. tigris said,

    February 2, 2013 at 17:49

    I think a major factor in the Right’s disdain for “soft power” is the fact that the juggernaut of American pop culture is rooted in African American culture.

    Well, sure, that at the fact that using “soft power” means you don’t get to break so many heads.

  10. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 2, 2013 at 18:45

    I was briefly tempted to see what America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ had to say on the matter but I got better.

  11. Exford Ruppert legs said,

    February 2, 2013 at 19:01

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/38320.html#comment-1313309

    ARMADILLOS FOR SOFT POWER

  12. Gary Ruppert said,

    February 2, 2013 at 19:03

    The fact is, Chuck Hagel will further pussify our military with more gays, women and budget cuts. Cut the funding for black families to make more babies that become gang bangers, that will save USA, not leaver us defenseless without aircraft carriers, nucular boms and joint strike fighter programs. How about cut funding for colledges that teach useless subjects like art and literature, and more science and business? How about let people keep more of the money they make instead of redsitrubtuobizing it to the takers, and stop villanifying Job Creators, and white men? We need THat Americfa, my America, back.

  13. Shakezula said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:13

    P.M., Are you referring to the sick, sad man who split from LCR because they were too radical? I can’t remember his name, but in that I’m just a few steps ahead of history.

  14. paleotectonics said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:20

    villanifying

    That is a thing of beauty, srsly, slow clap!

  15. paleotectonics said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:21

    the sick, sad man who split from LCR

    Huckleberry Graham?

  16. KWillow said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:22

    mat (February 2, 2013 at 14:02)

    The Kocks etc. hope and pray and sometimes belief that Liberals (gays! women! minorities!) are as stupid as conservative followers, and as easily tricked. All that they have to do is tell us Liberals what (they think) we want to hear, and we’ll follow them like rabid sheep.

  17. paleotectonics said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:25

    he’s also a retard

    I thought Queen Sarah Moosington had decreed the villanifying of the mentally disabled as a bad thing?

    Oh, sorry, IOKIYAAR.

  18. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:29

    Of the facts Fred Hiatt grew tired
    And thus our Harpie he hired
    She spread smears upon Hagel
    Like lox on a bagel
    They both deserve to be fired
    ~

    (More at my place.)
    ~

  19. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:34

    awesome comment mango:

    One need not sacrifice America–it committed suicide in exchange for Godless tainted gifts a long time ago.

    he’s also a retard

    I thought Queen Sarah Moosington had decreed the villanifying of the mentally disabled as a bad thing?

    as you know, i would normally jump all over html for the word usage, but in this case, it sums up panty stain’s sentiments quite exactly…

  20. tigris said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:38

    Godless tainted gifts

    HOT!

  21. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:41

    laws a mercy, i think i love this man…

  22. bbkf said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:44

    Godless tainted gifts

    HOT!

    i myself prefer to keep god far from my taint as he intended…

  23. Major Kong said,

    February 2, 2013 at 20:58

    How do these idiots get paid for writing this crap?

    I’m pretty sure even I could do a better job than most of these hacks.

  24. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 2, 2013 at 21:01

    America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ is B. Daniel Blatt, “GayPatriot.”

    http://www.gaypatriot.net/ <= WARNING! Toxic mangoes galore

  25. tigris said,

    February 2, 2013 at 21:08

    Pupi gives in to temptation!

  26. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 2, 2013 at 21:24

    Yeah, sort of. I _did_ go there this morning but only to make sure I got the name and URL right. I warned of toxic mangoes not because of anything particular there today but from past experience.

    So what’s up there today? So anti-marriage-equality asshat David Blankenhorn* sems to be changing course.

    David Blankenhorn is spearheading a new coalition which, as the Times reports,

    . . . plans to issue “A Call for a New Conversation on Marriage,” a tract renouncing the culture war that he was once part of, in favor of a different pro-marriage agenda. The proposed conversation will try to bring together gay men and lesbians who want to strengthen marriage [emphasis Dan's] with heterosexuals who want to do the same.

    How does Dan feel about this proposal to …. well something, I don’t know exactly what they want to actually DO.

    It’s about time. It seems that many advocates of gay marriage focus on what they deem the “right to marry” (but mean the privilege of state recognition) instead of the meaning of the institution. By proposing to strengthen marriage, those in this new coalition understand that the institution is worthy of preservation and in need of strengthening.

    Completely absent from the americanvalues.org page is anything concrete. They have no proposals, even inchoate ones, other than “have a conversation.”

    Why am I unable to dispell my strong suspicion they’re up to no good?

  27. Pupienus Maximus said,

    February 2, 2013 at 21:27

    Oops.

    *For a fun time review Blankenship’s testimony at the Prop 8 Court of Appeals hearing wherein David Boise gets him to say (paraphrasing) “marriage equality would be a BENEFIT to society.”

  28. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    February 2, 2013 at 21:59

    Blankenship?
    ~

  29. Cerberus said,

    February 2, 2013 at 22:48

    Still more new posts!

  30. Shakezula said,

    February 3, 2013 at 2:56

    The proposed conversation will try to bring together gay men and lesbians who want to strengthen marriage [emphasis Dan's] with heterosexuals who want to do the same.

    Coming up next: Opposite/Same Sex Spouse Swap, hosted by Rev. Teddy sHaggard!

  31. Consumer Unit 5012 said,

    February 6, 2013 at 9:10

    Why am I unable to dispell my strong suspicion they’re up to no good?

    Probably because you’re capable of basic pattern recognition.

  32. Cindy Greco said,

    April 28, 2013 at 12:55

    Give us any chance will take it
    Read us any rule we’ll break it
    We’re gonna make our dream come true
    Doin’ it our way
    Nothing’s gonna turn us back now
    Straight ahead and on the track now
    We’re gonna make our dreams come true
    We’re gonna make it
    There’s nothing we won’t try.
    Never heard the word “impossible”
    This time there’s no stopping us
    We’re gonna make it
    On your mark, set, and go now
    We’ve got a dream and we just know now
    We’re gonna make our dreams come true
    And we’ll do it our way, yes our way
    Makin’ our dream come true
    And we’ll do it our way, yes our way
    Makin’ our dreams come true
    For me and you.

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