Jan
27

From Butch To Bitch in Two Elections




Posted at 9:47 by HTML Mencken


Above: Reversal of Fartune

Ace’s bizarre conflation of masculinity with political identity or, at least, with political success has gone from one extreme to the other, yet has stayed the same. Remember the old days when Bush was King, Ace was the most macho sort of Joker, and liberals were ugly queens who took it in the ass, their bacon and play-doh bits aquiver and pendulous breasteses “clattering” like bags of sand? Time and electoral fortune have apparently changed all that. Gone is the ass-kicking Ace, and he no longer frets that homos might masturbate to pictures of his winsome and rugged good looks, a younger, pudgier George Lucas with his head caught in a trash compactor. Though his tone is still resolutely “fuck you,” he identifies no longer with the (albeit frustrated) fucker but with the “weaker” fuckee:

[L]eftism is a different beast. Leftism considers concerns of process to be a weakness, and [sic] indulgence for sissies and the faint-hearts; the only thing that matters — the only thing that should be a concern for the properly-masculine, properly-indoctrinated New Man of the Left is outcomes.

Any tactic, fair or foul, is permissible in the quest for the Leftist State.

Now, until recently, liberalism had at least tried to give some lip service, and perhaps some actual consideration, to the faggy notions of process, fairness, access, and such.

But no longer. The press is actually not more nakedly liberal now; in fact, it’s never been more illiberal, at least not since some press organizations romanticized fascism, Naziism, and socialist dictatorship in the tumultuous years of the thirties.

Sarcasm, yes, but minimally filtered and with projection in…well, in spades. Self-pity, too. Ace feels dominated and helpless and is expressing it in the only way he knows how. He, after all, thinks like a freikorper — ya write what ya know, ya know — so why shouldn’t his enemies think the same way? Liberals won, and for people like Ace who imagine power (any kind of power) in the most fucked-up way possible, winning means the freedom to be a sadist while losing means time to role play as Saint Sebastian. Yecch. The old Ace had more entertainment value; the new besieged Ace not quite as much though he still has his moments:

[I]f you find an unmarried woman, age 25, who follows the Anthropologie feed on FaceBook (the fashion shop, I mean, not the science), she’s almost certainly liberal-leaning. Even if she lives in red territory, like Kansas.

Young, single women: the Schutzstaffel of Liberal Fascism.

So Obama sent that girl Alarming Abortion mailer after Alarming Abortion mailer.

Pandering to her innate whorishness.

We must absolutely copy this technique.

[...]

Now the media of course covered up for them, and would never report that while the Democrats talk about “common sense” guidelines about abortions, they advance a strong pro-abortion agenda in their micro-targeted mailers.

Republicans, naturally, will be hit with this relentlessly — if a mailer uses stronger-than-usual language to defend gun rights in a mailer to a gun owner, we’ll be hit about how “extreme” our message is “below the radar.” Reporters will make every single one of our mailers famous, and not in a good way.

We must bully like the bullies even though we will continue to be bullied says the currently self-pitying bully who formerly posed as a confident bully but who has always actually been a fearful and frustrated bully. Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose; regardless of the new victim schtick Ace can’t not be Ace, hailing from a chapped and involuntarily celibate space to save the wingnut race.

91 Comments »

  1. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 11:01

    But no longer. The press is actually not more nakedly liberal now; in fact, it’s never been more illiberal, at least not since some press organizations romanticized fascism, Naziism, and socialist dictatorship in the tumultuous years of the thirties.

    Aight, I’m confused. How is it illiberal to be fascist when Professor Goldberg has proven that liberals are fascists? And why is this character, whom I presume is a conservative, speaking so disrespectfully about William F. Buckley’s press organization?

    [I]f you find an unmarried woman, age 25, who follows the Anthropologie feed on FaceBook (the fashion shop, I mean, not the science), she’s almost certainly liberal-leaning. Even if she lives in red territory, like Kansas.

    Rarely is the question asked by conservatives: What’s The Matter With Kansas?

  2. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 11:05

    We must absolutely copy this technique.

    Quoted above: the reason wingnuts project. It’s not just a psychological mechanism. Saying “these people are doing all these awful things” sets the stage that allows you to then say “and therefore we must also do these awful things, or we’ll lose.” Sort of like claiming that Poland invaded you so you can invade Poland. Though this be madness there be a method to it.

  3. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 11:06

    (Bless me, Saint Godwin, for I have sinned. I’m two for two in Nazi allusions. In my defense, he started it).

  4. M. Bouffant said,

    January 27, 2013 at 12:53

    Mencken!

    The party line Ace & ilk are spouting of late is blame the media, as they can no longer convincingly blame this election’s failure of conservatism on ACORN the way they did in the last go-round.

    And are single woman following the Anthropologie feed on FaceBook that big a demographic?

  5. mat said,

    January 27, 2013 at 16:07

    Poor Ace. He & his wingnut budz continue to brick themselves into the margins as they flail around trying to reconcile, using their typical Pantloadian Logic, how and why the jig won despite their furious efforts to unseat him.

    All the blocked legislation by the tea party, all the rigged state election laws denying the vote to millions, all the FOX News sophistry, and the jig STILL WON. What evil magic denied them glory?

    Nearly three months after the election, they still haven’t identified this evil magic.

  6. mat said,

    January 27, 2013 at 16:22

    And what a heaping helping of crazy in Ace’s comments! Wow! The kooks keep getting kookier.

  7. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 27, 2013 at 16:47

    The fact is, liberals are whats wrong with the USA, and must be exturpated. The whole mindset that guns are bad, abortion is great, war is bad, muslims are great, hard work and success are bad, leeching off society is good, whites are bad, blacks and gays are great….. is bad. I want my country back.

  8. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 27, 2013 at 16:52

    8 “I keep banging this drum but honestly, some patriotic billionaires do have to band together to purchase or build a media outlet.”
    Try again: the central tenet of progressivism is telling rich people how to spend their money

    Posted by: simpleton

    11 Maybe the morons could pool their lunch money and buy the grey lady?

    Posted by: Unclezeb

    23 You need to find billionaires who are willing to be villified like the Koch Bros. are, ridiculed like Clint Eastwood was and have their families threatened like the Palins.

    No pushing or shoving the line forms to the left.

    Posted by: Jinx the Cat

    27 …is there money in conservatism?

    Posted by: Czar of Media Madness

    Yes, the problem is that the Richie Riches wont listen to them.

  9. SgtD said,

    January 27, 2013 at 17:12

    I only clicked on the link so I could find an explanation of what Ace was talking about. What a mess that paragraph is.

    He sounds like an eight year old in the school playground:
    “Your momma eats carrots and looks like a hot dog!”

  10. AXTA said,

    January 27, 2013 at 17:21

    Yay, Mencken! We surely need more succinctness around here; brevity being the soul of wit and all that. Moar please!

  11. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2013 at 17:28

    The party line Ace & ilk are spouting of late is blame the media

    Hmmmm, if only there were some way they could have their own news network. Or maybe an AM radio station or two.

  12. LittlePig said,

    January 27, 2013 at 17:35

    And with obvious anagram Reince Priebus (h/t C. Pierce) re-elected, we can count on Ace’s strateregy to be doubled-down upon. The dissolution of the Republican Party continues apace.

    Now if we can only get Rience to say his name backwards

  13. N__B said,

    January 27, 2013 at 17:54

    I’d like to thank Jonah G. No, seriously.

    By publicizing – if not creating – the meme that Nazis were left-wing because the party name included the word “socialism” he has provided a test for stupidity that takes under 5 seconds to apply. If someone refers to “liberal fascists” or something similar, I can immediately ignore every other word they ever utter. There’s no reason to listen to morons.

  14. Shakezula said,

    January 27, 2013 at 18:00

    OK. Let’s assume that his liberal 25 yo unmarried female Antropologie fan scenario is true.

    Is this demographic large enough to sway an election? (I’m guessing no, but if you’re going to dream, dream about BoHo single gals.)

    What is the counter to the alarming abortion mailer? (The mind boggles, honestly.)

  15. Shakezula said,

    January 27, 2013 at 18:01

    Pardon, I see the demographic question has been asked.

  16. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 27, 2013 at 18:22

    Good to read you again, HTML.

    I’ll never forget this classic.
    ~

  17. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 18:46

    If someone refers to “liberal fascists” or something similar, I can immediately point at them while laughing heartily.

    That way, you turn what would have been simply a waste of your time into a therapeutic experience. And maybe a teaching moment also too.

  18. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 27, 2013 at 18:55

    And maybe a teaching moment also too.

    That’s hilarious!

  19. g said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:12

    Wow. Targeted direct mail – the tools of liberal fascism!

  20. N__B said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:12

    Given that most of the classes I’ve taught have been three-hour lectures, the phrase “teaching moment” always makes me laugh.

  21. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:19

    “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.”

  22. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:21

    Apparently Boehner is running around whimpering about how Obama wants to “destroy” the Republican party. If only.

  23. tigris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:23

    Wow. Targeted direct mail – the tools of liberal fascism!

    Richard Viguerie, Paul Weyrich and Jesse Helms all laugh and laugh.

  24. Cletus von Clausewitz said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:47

    As usual, these clowns don’t know the difference between Stereotypes and Demographics. Younger voters are less likely to be conservative about social issues, and younger women less likely than younger men. Its part of their whole worldview, not one aspect of their behavior. If these clowns want to send e-mail with attached jpegs of aborted, mutilated foetuses to the entire mailing list of Tiger Beat, it still won’t get more votes for “Jan Brewer for President”.

  25. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:49

    “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.”

    Yeah, I get that. But that’s not why I do it.

    “Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.” – Tom Jefferson

    I have found that sufficient application of the point and laugh method can lead to the offending idiot giving up on bothering people because they know they are going to be laughed at (which angers them, another plus). But that’s not the best reason to do it. When done in the presence of others you make the social shift that leads to more people pointing and laughing then and later because they realize it’s OK to do so. Additionally, it tells observers who would otherwise credit the bullshit as something worthy of discussion that no, you don’t have to respect opinions that are bullshit.

    The only thing we’re trying to teach the pig is to expect ridicule. It’s everybody else who gets taught.

  26. jgmurphy said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:22

    Ever notice how guys with issues over their sexuality are always hurling “fag,” “faggy” and “weak sister” and “homo” at anyone they don’t agree with? Are they, uh, trying to TELL US SOMETHING?

  27. Jennifer said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:30

    Additionally, it tells observers who would otherwise credit the bullshit as something worthy of discussion that no, you don’t have to respect opinions that are bullshit.

    A thousand time this. Our national discourse would be both more rational and productive if we didn’t have to spend it discussing stupid bullshit about how we need armed volunteers in our schools and etc.

    The people who suggest such idiocy are trolls, and if we could only get the national media to stop feeding them, we could get down to solving some problems like adults.

  28. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:41

    Wow! http://imgur.com/lm7WbFl.jpg
    I can scarcely believe being in the presence of such history!

  29. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:47

    That is THE VERY DUMPSTER Tonya Harding tossed some stuff into which stuff lead to nailing her for her attack on Nancy Kerrigan! Ain’t that TEH AWESOME?!?!

    They have a picture of Tonya prominently displayed above the bar here at the Dockside restaurant. I’m so excited I can hardly even decide which variety of eggs Benny I’m going to have!

  30. Another Kiwi said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:50

    If the estimable paprbagmarlys is around. Beloved cartoonist Lynda Barry is teaching a university-level course on doodling and neuroscience that you can audit remotely for free

  31. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:56

    By publicizing – if not creating – the meme that Nazis were left-wing because the party name included the word “socialism” he has provided a test for stupidity that takes under 5 seconds to apply. If someone refers to “liberal fascists” or something similar, I can immediately ignore every other word they ever utter. There’s no reason to listen to morons.

    I’ve been using creationism as a similar litmus test for years with great success.

  32. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:05

    The only thing we’re trying to teach the pig is to expect ridicule.

    This little piggy can learn!

  33. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:07

    Additionally, it tells observers who would otherwise credit the bullshit as something worthy of discussion that no, you don’t have to respect opinions that are bullshit.

    That’s what I loved about Biden in the debate with Ryan. His “ideas” only deserve derisive laughter and ol’ Joe couldn’t believe the bullshit he was hearing.

  34. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:12

    http://imgur.com/8oQyR6t.jpg

  35. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:18

    I did that because I could

  36. wiley said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:19

    Wow. They have at least one political genius on board

    I have an idea, at least for one element of the next election:

    Get the names and addresses of the residents of a blue city* that don’t own guns. We don’t publish it, but we do use it, and here’s how.

    Knock on the door of each resident and explain to them that with the gun registration laws as they stand now, almost anyone can find a way to obtain them as I have with you.

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the converstion their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    Explain to them that this is exactly the position the democrats want them in. If you feel like you have the right to defend yourself, vote republican.

    Can you imagine a person meeting this guy at the door being influenced to change party affiliation? I imagine the thought of dialing 911 to report a strange, grammatically challenged man knocking on the doors of people he believes to be unarmed and speaking to them in a menacing manner about how threatened they “really” are at the moment would supercede any thoughts about voting.

    *Surely there is such a list available to random persons.

  37. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:25

    Oh yes! Flint, Michigan would be a great place to start because we ALL know that…um,…all firearms are registered, right?
    Do they read their own PR?
    This makes the “Drano is BAD for you!” idea seem positively brilliant.

  38. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:26

    Brilliant! I encourage them to do it. Strongly encourage.

  39. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:29

    This makes the “Drano is BAD for you!” idea seem positively brilliant.

    I swear, I came up with that YEARS ago! Said Al Gore should make PSAs.
    .

  40. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:29

    Knock on the door of each resident and explain to them that with the gun registration laws as they stand now, almost anyone can find a way to obtain them as I have with you.

    Wait. I thought the problem with gun registration is that when everyone knew who the gun owners were, it was the gun owners who’d be getting visits from fanatics trying to destroy them.

    I’m so confused.

  41. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:32

    Wait. I thought the problem with gun registration is that when everyone knew who the gun owners were, it was the gun owners who’d be getting visits from fanatics trying to destroy them.

    They’re trying to out-Alinsky us!
    .

  42. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:44

    Well, fuck me a-runnin’. I show up, y’all bug out!
    .

  43. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:50

    “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.”

    So what’s so bad about an annoyed pig?

  44. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:53

    So what’s so bad about an annoyed pig?

    Two words.

    Corkscrew. Penis.
    .

  45. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 27, 2013 at 21:55

    I imagine the thought of dialing 911 to report a strange, grammatically challenged man knocking on the doors of people he believes to be unarmed and speaking to them in a menacing manner about how threatened they “really” are at the moment would supercede any thoughts about voting.

    See, I imagine the person trying the ‘nice house, be a shame if something *happened* to it” it routine getting beaten with a baseball bat, completely subverting their agenda that we need firearms to protect ourselves from lunatics.

  46. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:03

    Explain to them that this is exactly the position the democrats want them in. If you feel like you have the right to defend yourself, vote republican

    It is not immediately clear to me why using protection-racket tactics to promote gun ownership should induce people to switch away from a party that is not opposed to gun ownership.
    This is what happens when you start believing your own purity tests and confusing the map with the territory.

  47. Dorothy said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:05

    See, I imagine the person trying the ‘nice house, be a shame if something *happened* to it” it routine getting beaten with a baseball bat, completely subverting their agenda that we need firearms to protect ourselves from lunatics.

    Yeah, I was thinking about my friends who collect medieval weapons. There’s no list of folks who own maces or swords. Or are trained in hand to hand combat. Or who have mean dogs.

  48. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:11

    Yeah, I was thinking about my friends who collect medieval weapons. There’s no list of folks who own maces or swords. Or are trained in hand to hand combat. Or who have mean dogs.

    Exactly. One of the nicest friends I have owns a machete. I would not even think to mess with her, because she owns a fucking machete. For fun. The gun-fetishists seem to have forgotten that for the vast length of human history, people protected their homes without firing hot lead at passer-by, and that just because someone doesn’t won a gun doesn’t mean they can’t beat you to death with a improvised weapon when you decide to roll up on their house threatening them with implications of home invasion.

  49. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:11

    So what’s so bad about an annoyed pig?
    Two words.
    Corkscrew. Penis.

    Do not confuse annoyance with sexual arousal.
    This advice also works in a number of non-pig-related areas of life.

  50. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:13

    There’s no list of folks who own Mace s or swords
    FTFY.

  51. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:14

    Do not confuse annoyance with sexual arousal.
    This advice also works in a number of non-pig-related areas of life.

    You pays your money, you takes your chances.
    .

  52. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:25

    I still want to build a trebuchet.

  53. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:33

    Any tactic, fair or foul, is permissible in the quest for the Leftist State.

    I believe that postponing the debt-ceiling battle was worth every single dead puppy.

  54. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:37

    I still want to build a trebuchet.

    You slackers still have a warehouse full of partially-assembled cliffotines to finish, first!
    .

  55. Shakezula said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:41

    OK wait. Parts I-III of the master plan involve cyberstalking and then going to the homes of cyberstalkees to tell them you’re there specifically because you have reason to believe they don’t have a registered firearm on the premises.

    Maybe I’m being a sissy girlypants, but to me, the moment someone says “Howdy ma’am, I believe you are defenseless” is the moment Operation Beat Down must commence.

  56. Pupienus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 22:58

    Oh neat! Sadlyno has blocked the IP here, citing it as a spam source. I’m at a *$$

    *dont judge me – not my idea to meet here

  57. Chris said,

    January 27, 2013 at 23:03

    Exactly. One of the nicest friends I have owns a machete. I would not even think to mess with her, because she owns a fucking machete. For fun. The gun-fetishists seem to have forgotten that for the vast length of human history, people protected their homes without firing hot lead at passer-by, and that just because someone doesn’t won a gun doesn’t mean they can’t beat you to death with a improvised weapon when you decide to roll up on their house threatening them with implications of home invasion.

    It had to be linked to…

  58. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 23:21

    Oh neat! Sadlyno has blocked the IP here, citing it as a spam source.

    That always happens to me at that Scottish place. I have to remember to turn off WiFi.
    .

  59. wiley said,

    January 27, 2013 at 23:25

    I successfully fought off a rapist— an Army M.P.— with a fine pair of German sewing scissors and a very sincere promise that I would kill him before I let him rape me. My current arsenal includes an olfa rotary cutter that can cut through six layers of fabric. With a fresh blade, cutting the jugular would be a cinch. The element of surprise is a weapon in and of itself. No one expects to be killed or injured by sewing notions.

  60. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 23:51

    No one expects to be killed or injured by sewing notions.
    having heard my friend Kerry’s description of what would happen to the next person to meddle with her pinking shears, it would not surprise me at all.

  61. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 23:55

    not knowing how one sews notions I shall take your word for it that no one expects the activity to be fatal.

  62. Major Kong said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:00

    Yeah, I was thinking about my friends who collect medieval weapons

    You gotta love that old-school charm.

  63. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:02

    I swear, I came up with that YEARS ago! Said Al Gore should make PSAs.
    BRILLIANT!

  64. Shakezula said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:05

    I guess the Master Plan is based on the theory that liberals aren’t physically aggressive. Or perhaps the Gun Fetishists can’t imagine physical aggression without a gun.

    Or they’re just stupid.

    An aside: I don’t know why, but the goose in the background makes me laff.

  65. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:06

    F’get old school. My Mossberg 500 has never been registered.
    I’m surprised (yeah, right) that the nutter doesn’t realize that it isn’t required.

  66. J Neo Marvin said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:19

    That always happens to me at that Scottish place.

    macbeth.blogspot.com?

    …Oops. Just brought on the curse. Sorry.

  67. Shakezula said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:25

    Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends!

  68. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:34

    the only thing that should be a concern for the properly-masculine, properly-indoctrinated New Man of the Left is outcomes.

    What the fuck does this even mean? I can’t wrap by properly-indoctrinated brain around this concept.

  69. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 28, 2013 at 0:59

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the converstion their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    Explain to them that this is exactly the position the democrats want them in. If you feel like you have the right to defend yourself, vote republican.

    I’m reminded of this bit. Do they really think they can win votes by pulling some mafia shit?

  70. Smut Clyde said,

    January 28, 2013 at 1:11

    Reporters will make every single one of our mailers famous, and not in a good way.

    I missed the part where Ace explained why “stop espousing absurdly OTT easily-ridiculed policies” was not an available option.

  71. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 28, 2013 at 1:17

    I still can’t get over the guy thinking that going door-to-door making veiled threats will win people over. My neighborhood is fairly close-knit, if word got out that some guy was going around hinting that people’s doors would get kicked in, that guy wouldn’t make it out of the neighborhood in one piece, guns or no.

  72. Shakezula said,

    January 28, 2013 at 1:36

    Well, the idea did come from the same kind of brain that thinks Red Dawn is an instruction video.

  73. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 28, 2013 at 2:33

    What if they come at you with a pointed stick?

  74. wiley said,

    January 28, 2013 at 2:38

    Hey, if a person doesn’t have a gun, then that person is a shrinking violet who, in the face of random authority would submit themselves to the scrutiny of the self-professed authority and ob—

    Hey! This kind of reminds me of the type of rapist, who is the easiest to deflect— he believes that he’s going to sweep the random stranger off of her feet and they’re going to run off together. A swift kick to the nuts would wake that sort up and make him run away; but since you can’t really tell, it’s perhaps best to prepare for the worst when some dumbshit shows up on your doorstep to tell you that you should have a gun. He might find that he was indeed convincing, just not the way he intended. If he finds himself being tazed a lot, he might have to rethink his silly little quest and consider the possibility that he might be at risk himself, and having a gun might not help at all.

  75. g said,

    January 28, 2013 at 2:43

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the converstion their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    That’s pretty much what the Citadel grifter did to promote his security business.

  76. N__B said,

    January 28, 2013 at 3:42

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the converstion their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    But if he lowers his voice a that point, the hard-of-hearing will miss the threat.

  77. Fenwick said,

    January 28, 2013 at 4:02

    HTML !!!! Hot-diggity-dog !

  78. Fenwick said,

    January 28, 2013 at 4:17

    Saying “these people are doing all these awful things” sets the stage that allows you to then say “and therefore we must also do these awful things, or we’ll lose.” Sort of like claiming that Poland invaded you so you can invade Poland Democrats. Though this be madness there be a method to it.

    Fixxorated.

  79. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 28, 2013 at 4:22

    Then lower the voice

    That’s fine if you start as a tenor or even a baritone but what if you’re a bass to begin with?

  80. Magpie said,

    January 28, 2013 at 4:45

    Thing I have learnt from this thread: there are varieties of eggs benny.

  81. fff said,

    January 28, 2013 at 4:51

    President Ryan sure is giving a lot of quotes on a lot of subjects in the last few days.
    Anybody notice that?

  82. Shakezula said,

    January 28, 2013 at 5:03

    fff-

    My fave so far is that he and Romney would totally have prevented sequestration if they’d been elected. It’s the GOP’s post-election version of McCain’s super-secret plan to save the economy in ’08.

  83. billybo said,

    January 28, 2013 at 5:17

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the converstion their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    As I keep the pepper spray right next to that door which might in another universe at that point get kicked in but in THIS universe would at that point have been opened to the length of the chain lock and a three inch gap is more than enough room for the spray so the conversation would have actually ended pretty much right there.

    For several minutes anyway. Until the police arrived. If I had a GUN instead, dumbshit Dude who is dumb but possibly doesn’t deserved DEATH would have in fact, been dead.

  84. Major Kong said,

    January 28, 2013 at 5:21

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the conversation their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    If I’m in the kitchen they’re getting the Hannibal Lector treatment. I’m sure I have a nice Chianti down in the basement.

  85. CRA said,

    January 28, 2013 at 5:32

    So Obama sent that girl Alarming Abortion mailer after Alarming Abortion mailer.

    Because the Right does a series of genuinely alarming things re: abortion.

    There’s no true parallel, because the Viguerie-type alarmism is fundamentally dishonest.
    Here’s a good take: The Long Con: Mail-Order Conservativism / Rick Perlstein”

  86. jim, in yr paradigm-base killing yr narrative-dudes said,

    January 28, 2013 at 5:57

    Hey! HTML, 2013 style, bringing it back to the Mothership! YAY!

    IMO Acehole is good for roughly one solid larf … if he was trying any harder to be gritty he’d have sandpaper pyjamas on. However, he gets 50 bonus points for having some of the fugliest comment threads since Eternal September - solid proof that huffing jenkem while typing isn’t impossible after all!

  87. The Wife of Bath said,

    January 28, 2013 at 6:16

    Then lower the voice and tell them that at this point in the conversation their door could be kicked in and they would be completely defenseless against whatever one wishes to do.

    At that point in the conversation, the gentleman on my porch would only dimly sense that he had stepped onto the carefully concealed sling of my Trebuchet, which itself is out in the backyard, towering over my roof. The subtle creaking sound is the small lever just inside the door, which I have now pushed. The very loud creaking sound is the massive siege weapon itself, as gravity does what gravity does, and said gentleman is hurled into the next county.

  88. jim, in yr paradigm-base killing yr narrative-dudes said,

    January 28, 2013 at 6:27

    The Wife Of Bath: I like the cut of your jib!

  89. Sadly, No! » True Forced Fapiness said,

    January 28, 2013 at 13:13

    [...] sofa samurai to a life masturbatory squalor. Then it was probably most women but now it seems as if all women of a certain age not already married are repulsed if not revolted by conservative masculinity. The window has [...]

  90. Shakezula said,

    January 28, 2013 at 17:39

    I have been looking for an excuse to install a trap door on the porch…

    “Good morning! I’m here because you don’t own a gun. Are you awaaaaaa!”

    [Sound of Gun Humper being savaged by groundhogs]

  91. VCarlson said,

    January 28, 2013 at 18:59

    I can just see it:

    Junior! That’s an awful limp! How’d you get it?

    Mumblemumble

    What’s that? Speak up, and don’t lie.

    I was savaged by groundhogs, Mama.

    Were you trying that “I know you don’t got a gun” thing again? Serve you right for listening to that shovel feller. Thought you might have learned better after that trebuchet incident, but you always were a bit slow. Get cleaned up for dinner.

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