Jan
25

Upperclass Twit of the Year




Posted at 8:13 by Cerberus

And Monckton has run himself over, what a great twit!

Lord Monckton of Bronchitis, Wing Nut Dyspeptic:
Obama’s ‘Inauguration’ Marks End of the Left

It could be said (by treasonous liberal commie bastards) that conservatives have had… issues handling the notion that America has re-elected Barack Obama to be our President for the next 4 years.

I mean, they threw everything they had at the guy. And I mean everything. Blocking all his actions as president, running an entirely fictional campaign, giving themselves blank checks, bringing back Jim Crow, openly disenfranchising any non-white person they could find, declaring war on poll numbers… And while they aren’t out of dirty tricks yet (the House is still gerrymandered and they are working to make all the swing states electoral votes distributed among their gerrymandered districts to try and stay relevant), it’s starting to get worrisome for them.

Not to mention, their cognitive dissonance is having to deal with the prospect of seeing a black man as president for another 4 years.

It’s only to be expected that some of the less… intellectually rigorous of the tribe, might be starting to snap under the pressure as it were.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Ha ha ha! Ok, maybe there really is a black man being sworn in as president on my TV and maybe we really can’t even steal elections anymore, but Ha Ha, moderate conservativism in the guise of a liberal presidency will um… Continents will sink, nations will fall and THEN WHO’LL BE LAUGHING LIBERALS. HA HA HA HA HA!

And apologies to the Joker for any unfair comparisons that might crop up in the course of this post.

Exclusive: Christopher Monckton of Brenchley reveals where BHO will be in 5 years

Exclusive?

Having the embarrassment of the UK House of Lords* (and that’s saying something) drunkingly slur something on your online shit rag is an “exclusive” now?

Also. Where Obama will be in 5 years? Um, he’ll be out of the White House. If he’s like most of the other presidents in the last 40 years, he’ll probably spend most of his first year simply being retired, getting some much needed rest and possibly working on a memoir that he’ll be beginning to pimp out to the usual johns.

Not exactly the sort of thing that needs an “Exclusive” tag, as if Lord Fauntleroy were revealing the true transsexual nature of the Pope or something legitimately surprising.

There are two remarkable things about Mr. Obama’s second “inauguration.”

For fuck’s sake, people, he’s so utterly unnerved by the notion that America really did elect the black man twice that he can’t even bring himself to put down inauguration without scare quotes.

This is a broken fucking man.

First, it is remarkable that it happened at all.

Yeah, it’s almost enough to wonder if your movement’s 30 years of bad blood and exploiting racial resentments is beginning to run out of steam and that maybe the Republican Party might want to try not alienating a majority of voters next time.

Secondly, it marks not the triumph of the left but the end of the left. You heard it here first.

No I didn’t.

I mean, I know rampant narcissism is sort of a thing that the inbred blue bloods of British nobility do as a matter of course, but really, this isn’t some new thing. Wingnuts have been screaming this projection before there even was a triumph for them to claim meant nothing, Hail Endless Republican Majority!

But that’s okay, you were probably hung up on those matchsticks from earlier.

Mr. Obama has spent America into bankruptcy.

Bush, you say? Why my good man, why would you ever bring up shrubbery at a time like this? After Obama has spent 12 straight years collapsing the surplus Ronaldus Maximus gave him in 2000, it is really a rather crude attempt at distraction.

Yet the Republicans cannot beat him.

And they really, really want to beat him… and then hang him from a nearby tree. But if they did that, I’m sure the liberals would find a way to whine about that too!

He espouses fashionable but irrelevant causes long dear to the communist left, such as “gay” “marriage.” Yet the Republicans cannot defeat him.

Who wants to be the first to tell him that support for gay marriage is now the majority opinion in America? Cause I’m looking forward to seeing his head explode.

He allows unfettered immigration. Yet the Republicans cannot touch him.

Of course, which explains why Obama has actually increased the amount of deportations. But hey, why let reality get in the way of a good “poor pitiful me” rant?

He embraces every baby-butchering bill that comes along. Yet the Republicans cannot topple him.

Oh come on, he’s barely signed any NRA-sponsored legislation of late. It’s like you’re just making shit up.

He has been taken in, hook, line and sinker, by catastrophic anthropogenic climate alarm (CACA). Yet the Republicans – well, you get the point. They have become as irrelevant to politics in the United States as the dotty but costly causes Obama loves.

Speaking of making shit up…

You know, the whole bitterness over climate change among the right is kinda baffling. I mean, yeah, in the tank for oil companies, making hippies cry, and all that, but, I mean, why should they care this much.

Oh no, we believed those dastardly climate scientists and their evil worldwide conspiracy to invent hurricane machines and weather scrambling rays in order to make us believe the climate is irrevocably fucking up. Now, we’ve built this renewable energy infrastructure that produces less pollution, doesn’t run out, and makes us no longer dependable on all those countries in the Middle East we are supposed to hate because of Jesus and 9/11 and all that for nothing.

You know, other than all that, not having to worry about peak oil anymore, the boom in jobs in creating new industries that makes it so we won’t have to import them all from Denmark in 20 years and cleaning up the cities so they no longer are pollution hell-holes greatly limiting the lives of those who live in them and thus making the sterile environments of the suburbs and exurb areas much more attractive in comparison, because at least you can breathe…

Ah.

I think I understand now. There really is no price conservatives won’t pay to punish urban environments and those who live in them (cough brown people and youths cough).

The second remarkable thing about this “inauguration” is that – though you may not see it yet – it marks the end of the socialist/communist/fascist left as a global political force.

… Um, wouldn’t something need a beginning to “come to an end” as it were? You know, outside of Jonah Goldberg’s fervent masturbation sessions?

But hey, I guess that old rotted chestnut is better than spewing out some tired old birther sh-

Here is why.

The Republican Party has deliberately, carefully failed to do anything about the in-your-face bogus “birth certificate” Mr. Obama endorsed and posted on the White House website almost two years ago.

Right.

Totally forgot that Lord Felch Snifter was the birther that all the other birthers point to because they’re stupid enough to believe that if a member of Britain’s nobility agrees with them that makes them more likely to be correct.

All right, so this explains the dumbass tagline. So let’s see, think like a wingnut, one second (whrrrrrrrr) okay, brain’s starting to dribble out now. Me think Obadmana be in jail 4 year in 3 years, errr!

And I’m back, thank Bob for inheriting Wolverine’s mutant healing factor.

How, you may ask, does the failure of the Republican Party to take even the most elementary steps to get rid of an unlawful “president” mark the end of the left?

I dunno? Space aliens? It’d make about as much sense as anything else you’ve written here today.

Simple. The longer Mr. Obama holds office, the more certain and visible will be the resulting national bankruptcy.

Ooooooohhhhhh, scary fiscal cliff that’s totally real will… um… Hey Cato Institute! What’s my line?

And if he is allowed to serve out his second four-year sentence, nobody but the left will get the blame.

Shyeah, right. If the IMF doesn’t get the blame for completing fucking up Europe’s economy with their bullshit Magic Capitalism bullshit, I don’t see how liberals would get the blame for the greedy banker’s-

No, wait, I totally see how they would. I forgot Axiom 1: “It is always a liberal’s fault when conservative ideas fail”.

For this reason, some Republicans did not want to win this election, which is why – for the second time in a row – they carefully chose the one candidate unquestionably incapable of beating him.

Yeah, kinda already got that. You weren’t particularly subtle with your whole, tank everything, prevent Obama from doing anything to fix it and then using it to argue that we should never ever elect black people or liberals ever again has literally been your only strategy for like 4 years now.

You don’t need to spell it out. We’re not actually as dumb as you.

This faction argues that the huge damage he will cause will be less harmful in the long run, because once he is gone the left will be discredited.

You know, some liberals had this belief before Reagan and again before Bush II, Emperor of the Wal-Mart. That if we just let these retrogressive fucks plummet America into their ground with their terrible policies and fascist additions to the government, it would sour everyone from conservative ideas and we’d be a liberal paradise forever more.

30 years later as we only just begin to start rolling back the extensive damage done to our country and where the “liberal” idea is usually just a bad conservative idea from 10 years ago that looks better than the current crop, I’d say Monckton’s nightmare of liberals fixing everything and ruining the scam isn’t very fucking likely.

The majority faction are simply too scared of the damage the left would cause to their reputations if they dared publicly to question the legitimacy of “Black Jesus,” as his staff call him. For the hard left have long used a simple and effective tactic to protect their criminals. They follow Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, not the least of which is that the right have all the best arguments, so do not argue with them. Instead, make it plain that if they dare to speak out you will relentlessly destroy their reputations.

I’m going to print this paragraph out on a page somewhere so that if the power goes out, I’ll be able to find my way to the fuse box by the searing IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION coming off this page.

Seriously, I should put up burn warnings lest careless or slow scrolling burn a hole in someone’s monitor.

The Republicans, frightened for their reputations, have funked it. So you are now stuck with Mr. Obama for another four years.

All you had to do was steal one little election, but noooooo, you had to fuck it up for all of us!

Here is what will happen. He will continue to be soft on Islam, and Americans will be killed, and opinion will harden against Islamic terrorism.

If we just keep squeezing, we can get a little more blood out of this stone! C’mon, it’s our only chance against guaranteed electoral irrelevancy! Well, besides learning how not to act like racist, sexist, homophobic assholes willing to let the country burn if it pisses off some hippies somewhere, but really, what’s the fun in that?

He will continue to overspend catastrophically, and the Republicans, after a token show of dissent, will continue to let him get away with it.

He will continue to inflict crippling taxes and regulations in the name of Saving The Planet from “global warming” that has now been conspicuous for its unpredicted absence for almost two decades.

So let me see if I understand Evil Space Obama’s Master Plan here. He’s going to “overspend”, but not, you know, in the totally good “Reagan proved deficits don’t matter” way Bush von Bushinstein and Reagan did. And he’s going to “inflict” crippling taxes… which would offset any new spending and would be the way by which we would actually solve the debt if anyone on the fucking planet actually did give a fuck about this meaningless distraction. And then… make things cleaner and better for people in the name of evil Anti-religion science, but not in a way that would make people grateful for the clean air and lack of quagmires in the Middle East…

And this will somehow be worse than using his massive New Black Panther Army and control over the world’s jihadists to just, I dunno, slaughter everyone over the $250,000 income bracket…

Sigh, wingnuts have no goddamn imagination.

He will continue to argue that the corrupt United Nations and the European tyranny-by-clerk are a good thing.

Yeah, see, cause here. Here, we get that Tim LaHaye Rapture “The Anti-Christ uses the UN to form the One World Government” crap. So, what? Obama is either in league with or is the actual Antichrist, Destroyer of Worlds, and he’s going to do this by not killing enough muzzies to give wingnuts hard-ons and slightly increasing the tax rate on capital gains?

Sorry, my life isn’t nearly moribund and fruitless enough to find that shit even remotely frightening.

Also?

Europe as a boogeyman? You’re fucking European, you goddamn assclown!

In short, Obama will continue to embody and to espouse every shibboleth, totem and sacred cow of the communist left. And every one of those totems is going to come tumbling down over the coming decade or two.

A) I wish. I wish Obama and the other Democrats actually responded to the fact that people keep supporting real progressive laws and policies and governed accordingly rather than continuously chasing the hemlines of the “reasonable centrist” crowd down in Washington.

B) Oh noes, liberals want to pass new liberal laws like they, you know, won the election or something. I mean, I know it’s par for the course for British nobility to be against American democracy and all, but seriously, we both put our plans for America on the table and the public, despite all your efforts, still went with the progressive option. If things get more liberal and less shitty for people, that’s what’s supposed to happen, just like we deserve to get drill-fucked in the spleen every time we lose enough long-term memory to put conservatives in power.

Islam, which the left courts because there are enough Muslim votes to make a difference, will have to learn to curb its own terrorists or be ostracized.

This financially irresponsible presidency will mark the end of the welfare state as a viable or desirable model. In the end, a welfare state is always a bankrupt state.

Regional and global tyrannies such as the U.N. and the EU will fail, as the climate continues not to warm at anything like the predicted rate and the Eurozone continues to collapse.

Immigration will once again be brought under control, because no Western nation can any longer afford to indulge it as the left have done.

Oh my god. He’s actually out of right-wing boogeymen.

I… I’ve never seen this before. I mean, the right-wing has an infinite supply of boogeymen. If a grocery store clerk takes a second too long unraveling their spooge-soaked shit-smeared dollar bills, you can bet they’ll be listed as the reason that abortion exists and why our education system sucks.

And yet, Monckton can’t manage to keep more than 4 in his head without triggering a hard reboot.

That’s just… sad.

The left, personified by Mr. Obama, have the reverse Midas touch. Everything they touch – everything he argued for in his mawkish inauguration address – is already turning to ashes. Daily, the failures of the left are becoming more visible and more complete. Soon, the Marxists and fascists will be one with Nineveh and Tyre.

There are times when IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is comforting. Here, where the wingnuts are desperately begging and pleading the cosmos for liberalism to be on its last dying gasp, inches from fading into long-awaited obscurity, is one of those times.

And remember this. Once Mr. Obama is gone from the White House, you will no longer need a state’s attorney general to persuade a federal district court to order Hawaii to disclose the original “birth certificate” and hand it over for forensic examination.

A) At which point it’ll matter, because…? I mean, it’d be satisfying if Bush and Cheney were dragged before the Hague for their many, many war crimes and outright breaking of international law, but it wouldn’t really matter. The Bush years would still have happened and I doubt it would affect modern conservatism in the slightest. Even if your idea wasn’t dumb, it’d still be dumb.

B) Yeah, sure, President Obama is totally going to be arrested for failing to disclose the thing he’s disclosed in like 5 different ways (including the one you requested) while Bush and company remain free. Yeah, the day that happens is a day when so many things have collapsed, we won’t even have a Justice System anymore to try him.

C) Really? Yeah, ok, give that a try. Let me know how that turns out for you.

In five years’ time, Black Jesus will be in the Big House (unless his Republican successor pardons him).

Hmm, I’m not sure if I’m more amused by the open admission that a Republican President would be the only one corrupt enough to pardon Antichrist, fake-birth Obamahitler or the tacit admission that he and his class view the Prison system simply as a tool to lock up uppity black people so they can’t inconvenience the “right society”. I mean, talk about proving prison abolitionists right!

The darling of the international left will have fallen victim to the corruption endemic within the left itself.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Dude, if I wanted to read your masturbatory author-insertion fan-fic fantasy novel, I would have bought it in a seedy downtown sex shop.

Also, as we’re prone to say here: Sadly, No!

In fact, that’s the real issue that has you hyperventilating into the barrel of your final checkpoint pistol. America and the UK are getting “darker” and not because it’s leading to some mass white power renaissance, but because that’s just the way the demographics are going. The “other” is mattering more and more and people who have cloistered themselves from any contact from them are becoming less and less to the point of complete extinction.

And even scarier, every year brings us farther and farther from the years where being the inbred breeding stock of Europe’s greatest idiots somehow made you better than the rest of us.

And frankly, given this appalling display, all I can say is good riddance.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. I’ll stop putting the boot in when wingnuts stop giving me so much schadenfreude. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Without ever, apparently, being a member of said House, which is doubly impressive.

221 Comments »

  1. john b said,

    January 25, 2013 at 8:34

    Minor correction: Monckton is not a member of the UK House of Lords, and never has been. Hereditary peers lost their membership of the House of Lords in 1999, and Christopher only inherited his title in 2006.

    Monckton is happy to swan around the world lying that he is a member of the House of Lords (or was, until the the House of Lords took cease-and-desist legal action in 2011), but he’s actually too insane/embarrassing even for that less-than-progressive institution.

  2. VCarlson said,

    January 25, 2013 at 8:57

    Not exactly the sort of thing that needs an “Exclusive” tag, as if Lord Fauntleroy were revealing the true transsexual nature of the Pope or something legitimately surprising.

    Given Papa Ratzi’s disdain for women, I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if he were. Not expecting it, don’t really believe it, but wouldn’t be too surprised.

  3. Chris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:05

    The American conservative manifesto delivered by a British aristocrat. How appropriate.

  4. VCarlson said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:10

    And Monckton’s insistence on putting scare quotes around inauguration, as if by pretending it wasn’t real could make it not have happened.

    And for Ghu’s sake, Obama took the extra step of making his “long form” Birth Certificate public, something the State of Hawaii will not do, to shut these jerks up. Didn’t work, of course.

  5. paperbagmarlys said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:16

    I feel better. There are some white males in the world who are dumber than American white males. No, wait, I’m not sure I feel better. Maybe there is an English white male dumber than, oh, half of American white males. Okay, I’m back to feeling a little better, I think.

  6. Chris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:21

    Also -

    You know, the whole bitterness over climate change among the right is kinda baffling. I mean, yeah, in the tank for oil companies, making hippies cry, and all that, but, I mean, why should they care this much.

    It’s just a matter of general “fuck liberals” principle.

    Conservatives will absorb a position on a random issue without much thinking about it or caring about it, but then liberals will disagree, and then someone on Fox News will lament the fact that liberals are attacking our freedoms and the baby Jeebus by disagreeing, and then a pointy-headed “scientist” armed with unglamorous “facts” will point out that the liberals have some grounds for disagreeing, and then a televangelist will use it as proof of how deeply rooted the liberal conspiracy against our freedoms and the baby Jeebus has become and if you tolerate this then the very next step will be to establish Sharia Law and allow humans to marry box turtles…

    … and before you know it, something they had never heard about and couldn’t have cared less about just twenty-four hours earlier has become their new Last Stand in the existential war between them and the savage hordes trying to tear down all that is good.

  7. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:28

    Soon, the Marxists and fascists will be one with Nineveh and Tyre.
    Tyre? Is this supposed to be an icon of historical oblivion? I know it received a bit of a clobbering during the 1291 siege but it’s still the 4th largest city in Lebanon.

  8. paperbagmarlys said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:31

    …Nineveh and Tyre…

    His, um, “source” there is Kipling’s Recessional, not the Bible (or history).

  9. Chris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:33

    I feel better. There are some white males in the world who are dumber than American white males. No, wait, I’m not sure I feel better. Maybe there is an English white male dumber than, oh, half of American white males. Okay, I’m back to feeling a little better, I think.

    My French half will always delight in watching an Englishman make a fool out of himself.

  10. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:45

    The American conservative manifesto delivered by a British aristocrat. How appropriate.

    The Murdoch press in Australia love them some Monckton too. Sure, Murdoch’s editorial policy is anti-royalist and anti-aristocrats, but Monckton is also the intellectual-gravitas face of climate-change denialism. Of course now that he has turned up his crank magnetism to 8 teslas and embraced birtherism as well, they’ll have to admit that he’s only a deranged fabulist with an oxbridge accent… yeah, right.

    fashionable but irrelevant causes long dear to the communist left, such as “gay” “marriage.”
    The international communist movement is well-known for its openness to sexual-orientation equality.

    some Republicans did not want to win this election, which is why – for the second time in a row – they carefully chose the one candidate unquestionably incapable of beating him
    That is one hell of a conspiracy theory, to include those millions of Republican-base primary voters who opted for Romney. Those billionnaires pumping millions into defeating Obama? Also part of the conspiracy.

  11. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:54

    socialist/communist/fascist left

    I love that. It’s like saying my house is painted “Purple/orange/twelve chenille”

  12. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 9:54

    You heard it here first
    In fact I believe that Jennifer Rubin at the Washpost has priority for writing thousands to words explaining to her readers that any words from Obama are irrelevant and should be ignored completely.

  13. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:10

    New post! Now with 20% more inbreeding!

    Laughed, I did.

  14. zebbidie said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:19

    Absolute rip-snorter of a post. Monkton is so much of a dick he swells up when he gets excited.

  15. Another Kiwi said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:27

    The “Black Jesus” quote comes from a book by Edward “My other pants are away being fireproofed” Klein called “The Amatuer” which Janet Maslin reviewed. Her starting sentence is
    “The Amateur” by Edward Klein is a book about an inept, arrogant ideologue who maintains an absurdly high opinion of his own talents even as he blatantly fails to achieve his goals. Oh, and President Obama is in this book too.
    So hearing it from Monkton is recycled dog turds at best.
    Did you see where Lord Monkeytown got thrown out of Doha for impersonation of a Burmese diplomat?

  16. Mrs. Hatred of Leicester said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:33

    Did you see where Lord Monkeytown got thrown out of Doha for impersonation of a Burmese diplomat?

    Goodness me! The ethnic makeup of the British aristocracy’s fallen very far indeed if he think he can pass for such a person.

  17. The Mayor of Upper Astroboffin said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:49

    “CACA”

    I can die happy now.

  18. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2013 at 10:53

    Cerb: Have you considered a career in slasher films? You cut poor Lord Monkton into quivering shreds. Also, great title and photo-shop.

    Chris & Clyde are on a superfine extra-deluxe roll. Wonderful start to the thread.

    It’s like saying my house is painted “Purple/orange/twelve chenille”

    It is very early in the thread for winning an Internetz. Where should we ship yours to, Mr. Zombie?

  19. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:03

    The majority faction are simply too scared of the damage the left would cause to their reputations if they dared publicly to question the legitimacy of “Black Jesus,” as his staff call him. For the hard left have long used a simple and effective tactic to protect their criminals. They follow Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, not the least of which is that the right have all the best arguments, so do not argue with them. Instead, make it plain that if they dare to speak out you will relentlessly destroy their reputations.

    THAT, actually, is kind of a single source Wingnut Bingo Winner!

  20. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:11

    Oh my god. He’s actually out of right-wing boogeymen.

    Nahh. Zombies are next. I mean, can you GET anymore boogeyman than zombies?

  21. John Revolta said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:11

    Wait, when did Marty Feldman get to be a Lord?

  22. Lancelot Link said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:11

    It’s droll, isn’t it, that all those founding-father-fetishists with their Gadsden flags and tricorn hats and Tea Partying are sucking up to a mentally-challenged British aristocrat.

  23. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:14

    “Black Jesus” tickles me. I mean, by the standards of these unrepentant skin-color fetishists, the ACTUAL Jesus was suspiciously brown, at best. Except in all those weird Catholic picture books, depicting him as lightskinned, lighthaired, and blue-eyed.

    Most of teh people in Jesus’ hometown would qualify as ‘black’ to this crap-weasel.

  24. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:18

    Obama took the extra step of making his “long form” Birth Certificate public, something the State of Hawaii will not do, to shut these jerks up. Didn’t work, of course.

    ALSO something that no prior President, ever, was ever required to do. It makes a skeptical sort wonder if there may have been something, some quality, in Obama as a President that these folks were responding to. Gosh, I wonder what it could have been…

  25. John Revolta said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:22

    Most of teh people in Jesus’ hometown would qualify as ‘black’Mooslim terrorists to this crap-weasel.

    Fixxded.

  26. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    January 25, 2013 at 11:22

    Cerb: Have you considered a career in slasher films? You cut poor Lord Monkton into quivering shreds. Also, great title and photo-shop.

    Yes, agreed. I offer my services as technical advisor with regard to post-living issues.

  27. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 12:34

    all those founding-father-fetishists with their Gadsden flags and tricorn hats and Tea Partying are sucking up to a mentally-challenged British aristocrat

    And the mentally-challenged British aristocrat, picking up the ‘liberal fascism’ meme, has fallen from the dizzy empyrium (in the form of erstwhile advisor to Maggie Thatcher) to the level of sucking up to Jonah Goldberg.
    It is a veritable human centipede of stupid.

  28. animus said,

    January 25, 2013 at 13:30

    Monckton explained.

  29. mat said,

    January 25, 2013 at 14:18

    Lord Dork of Downton Flabby.

  30. animus said,

    January 25, 2013 at 14:34

    So, now that anybody can write for WND, where does one sign up?

  31. jimbo57 said,

    January 25, 2013 at 15:34

    I was under the impression that this person was a character played by Sach Baron Cohen.

  32. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2013 at 15:57

    He looks like Mr. Bean at age 70.

  33. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 25, 2013 at 15:59

    Thank you Cerb for this righteous fisking. “Lord” Monckton really fits in with the upper class twit sketch and that is exactly how I have always pictured him. Climate denier, birther, all around idiot. He’s a great argument against inheriting titles.

  34. S. cerevisiae said,

    January 25, 2013 at 16:02

    It is a veritable human centipede of stupid.

    That’s an image I need to get out of my head.

  35. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:02

    The welfare state. Ooh how the conservatives the world over hate those words and the ideas they represent. The idea that people shouldn’t starve even if they aren’t fabulously rich, or aren’t working their lives away for rich people. The idea that we have any obligation at all to take care of the poor, the sick, and the elderly, makes them burn. Do they hear an echo of revolution when they consider those thoughts? Is there a single one of their cherished ideals they won’t discard or a revolting ally they won’t embrace if it means they get to keep the concepts of charity and empathy at arm’s length?

    Is the idea that maybe we should make sure people aren’t starving before we go writing billion dollar give aways to rich people really so terrible? Any halfway rational look at a modern computerized and industrialized economy would show that automation and outsourcing means permanent unemployment for a large slice of the population unless we make some fundamental changes. We could ensure they have food on the table in any number of ways. I like the idea of reducing the work week to 20 or 30 hours a week or giving people 8 or 10 weeks of vacation a year. I like the idea of publicly funded health care, child care and robust unemployment benefits and subsidized higher education. I also like the idea of the CCC and the Peace Corps or any other publicly funded jobs program that can work on improving infrastructure and conservation.

    Starving, sick, broke, and desperate people are dangerous neighbors. That is the reason no one, no matter how plutocratic, should be against the welfare state.

  36. scorpy1 said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:09

    I gotta say that I enthusiastically support their continued self-administered implosion and marginalization, even if it somehow, someway plays into their master plan or something.

  37. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:10

    The fact is Obama’s inaugeration will prove to be the final nail in the coughin of leftists everywhere.

  38. tigris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:14

    I bet Oswald Mosley’s descendants thank God for Monckton every day.

  39. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:16

    wow…monckton hit ALL the dog whistles…he deserves a treat!

  40. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:21

    Is the idea that maybe we should make sure people aren’t starving before we go writing billion dollar give aways to rich people really so terrible?

    apparently it is, as no true american wants that…preferring instead that everyone be bootstrappy….nevermind if your bootstraps involve inherited wealth, lucrative government contracts and/or contacts or wingnut welfare…

    i frankly am sick and tired of being told that i want the government to make all my decisions for me just because i find paying an insurance company $450/month while still shelling out for office visits and prescriptions odious…for verily, a national health system is the greatest sin of all…

  41. D.B. Cooper said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:31

    And if he is allowed to serve out his second four-year sentence, nobody but the left will get the blame.

    So Obama is a criminal and the White House is a jail but Monkton is up for pardoning him … Er what?

  42. D.B. Cooper said,

    January 25, 2013 at 17:38

    And after confirming that Lard Monckton always looks like he has sat upon a cold rail spike:

    Common mental and emotional symptoms of hyperthyroidism can include:

    Severe anxiety, stress, and tension
    Rapid mood swings
    Irritability
    Marked impatience
    Hyperactivity and restlessness
    Periods of fluctuating anxiety and depression

    Medical intervention might deprive us of some mighty laffs.

  43. Interrobang said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:10

    Apparently even people who ought to know better (Eurofascist sympathisers like Monckton) are now on the communist = fascist bandwagon. It’d be funny if it weren’t so tragic.

    Oh, and Cerb — I’m sure Monckton would be appalled at your calling him a “European.” Silly Cerb, Britons aren’t Europeans, they’re specialexceptional, even, ’cause they live on that separate little island an’ stuff. At least that’s their right’s take on it; that’s a big slice of the reason they’re not in the EU right now.

  44. Grammar Progressive, er, Nazi said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:14

    Number. Number of deportations.

  45. Makhno said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:24

    We are in the EU, just not the Eurozone. Though the right keeps banging on about getting out. Our esteemed Prime Minister has just tried to shut them up by promising “an in-out refetendum” (so that’s what the kids are calling it these days…) – to be held AFTER the next election, safe in the knowledge that he will lise said election and never be held to his promise.

  46. Sophist said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:37

    For this reason, some Republicans did not want to win this election, which is why – for the second time in a row – they carefully chose the one candidate unquestionably incapable of beating him.

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

  47. bbkf said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:51

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

    this one again is irrefutable proof that wingnuts live in an alternate universe…they certainly weren’t watching the same election i was watching…

  48. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:52

    As opposed to which surefire winner?

    Mecha Reagan

  49. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:53

    “A shotgun will keep you a lot safer — a double-barreled shotgun — than an assault weapon in somebody’s hand who doesn’t know how to use it, even one who does know how to use it,” Biden said.

    Biden is a fucking idiot. You want a PUMP shotgun. 12 ga. with the magazine plug removed.

  50. ernie anastos said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:54


    And remember this. Once Mr. Obama is gone from the White House, you will no longer need a state’s attorney general to persuade a federal district court to order Hawaii to disclose the original “birth certificate” and hand it over for forensic examination.

    In five years’ time, Black Jesus will be in the Big House (unless his Republican successor pardons him).

    keep fucking that chicken!

  51. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:56

    Great post. The Python graphic is perfect.

  52. tigris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 19:56

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

    this one again is irrefutable proof that wingnuts live in an alternate universe…they certainly weren’t watching the same election i was watching…

    Seriously. It looked to me like they chose the one candidate capable of getting anywhere close to Obama.

  53. Yoga Bear said,

    January 25, 2013 at 20:06

    I love that. It’s like saying my house is painted “Purple/orange/twelve chenille”

    Hey! Those were my school colors!!!

  54. D.B. Cooper said,

    January 25, 2013 at 20:18

    I love that losing the presidential election is all a part of a GOP plan so cunning you can clean your teeth with it.

  55. jim, bittersweet Canadian said,

    January 25, 2013 at 20:19

    Jesus, what a wanker.

    A repugnant simpering know-nothing who makes Piers Morgan look like George Fucking Orwell. Fucker writes like he “thinks” & worst of all, he’s a sharer. Let us heave one small maudlin sigh of sincere regret that as a British aristoid, he couldn’t be a typical good upstanding wholesome reclusive tricycle-seat-huffing Hollow Earther Furry instead. His screed reads like he started sobbing at the first scare-quote of “inauguration” & then just never quite stopped.

    As I’ve done for many another such barmy cretin, I extend to the third viscount of Brenchley my cordial offer that he go explain to a village of fucking Inuit exactly how they’ve all been cunningly hoodwinked by AGW. Got genuine 100-proof truthiness on your side, so go for it, peerage-bitch – I hear Tuktoyaktuk is just bloody LOVELY this time of year.

    Did you see where Lord Monkeytown got thrown out of Doha for impersonation of a Burmese diplomat?

    Oh my, & in such charming company to boot: Nick Griffin, BNP skinhead scam-artist, ye say?
    Well it seems the old rat has truly found his natural level & no mistake.

  56. ernie anastos said,

    January 25, 2013 at 20:34

    This faction argues that the huge damage he will cause will be less harmful in the long run, because once he is gone the left will be discredited.

    so basically, it’s the tolerant, patient parent letting the reckless teenager fuck up so he will finally see the error of his ways when everything goes to shit…then mom and pops will step in to clean up the mess? and i bet they will never let jr. forget it…

  57. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 25, 2013 at 20:49

    These guys sure gloat a lot over stuff that is about to happen. You’d think the election results would have cured that.

  58. VCarlson said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:00

    ALSO something that no prior President, ever, was ever required to do. It makes a skeptical sort wonder if there may have been something, some quality, in Obama as a President that these folks were responding to. Gosh, I wonder what it could have been…

    Um, lawyer? No, that can’t be it. John Adams was a lawyer in addition to not having been born in the United States or with even one US Citizen for a parent. I know! Some people still don’t seem to be aware Hawai’i is a US State (references to “going back to the US” while in HI are telling). That must be it! But no, John McCain admits to having been born in Panama, and I don’t recall anyone asking for verification of his parentage when they were calling for Obama’s papers. I mean, it’s perfectly obvious he’s his mother’s son, facially he looks just like her father – same jaw, same smile, same ears. It’s just the skin col- Oh, I see. Never mind.

  59. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:11

    You know, some liberals had this belief before Reagan and again before Bush II, Emperor of the Wal-Mart. That if we just let these retrogressive fucks plummet America into their ground with their terrible policies and fascist additions to the government, it would sour everyone from conservative ideas and we’d be a liberal paradise forever more.

    I am glad of this, by the way. Between Bob ‘Traitor McTraitorface” Owens’s “revolution now!” warcry, and Throatwarbler Mangrove’s “let them destroy themselves” fiendish plot, the two most stupid liberal ideas of the past couple decades have been re-appropriated by the proper idiots; so that I may one day not see these two fucking idiot ideas being taken seriously by people I would like to take seriously.

  60. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:21

    The local paper once used this pic of Monckton, which is still fine:

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d2k_Q_KoEu0/Ss-D_Y–HLI/AAAAAAAAAPk/vEdKK4PtgGA/s1600-h/2081617.jpg

  61. Another Kiwi said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:32

    Subby, he’s got that “What the fuck is my hand up to now?” look. Strangelove

  62. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:49

    Chris Monckton is funny and all but this is awesome: http://yelpingwithcormac.tumblr.com/

  63. bughunter said,

    January 25, 2013 at 21:51

    As the commenter who most recently made a Monty Python’s Flying Circus reference in the previous thread, I applaud your metaphor, dear Cerb.

    And omg does it ever fit. I read this the day prior, and thought it was perfect S,N! material… and, lo!

    But do you have anything without spam in it?

  64. D.B. Cooper said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:02

    These guys sure gloat a lot over stuff that is about to happen. You’d think the election results would have cured that.

    Stage III of Evil Villain Syndrome. The response to being presented with your ass on a silver platter is to start gloating about the fools, fools who underestimated you and outlining your next fool-proof plan.

    And if Lord Monkeypuzzle doesn’t look like a mad cackler, I don’t know who does.

  65. Chris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:08

    Apparently even people who ought to know better (Eurofascist sympathisers like Monckton) are now on the communist = fascist bandwagon. It’d be funny if it weren’t so tragic.

    Even the most far right extremists these days mostly recognize that being seen as “fascist” is a bad thing, so they’ve moved onto the “I’m not a fascist, fascists are really leftists” bandwagon and tried to make a break with the past at least in the public imagination.

  66. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:17

    Dan Lacey, Painter of Pancakes.

  67. Chris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:19

    this one again is irrefutable proof that wingnuts live in an alternate universe…they certainly weren’t watching the same election i was watching…

    Yep. But they actually believe it. After 2008, the creed of conservatives all over the nation was that Palin was the reason McCain did as “well” as he did, not an additional drag on his campaign. I’m not reading their blogs now like I was then, but I’d be shocked if they weren’t saying similar things now, and that Romney only lost because he was afraid to fully embrace True Conservatism.

  68. Anonymous said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:23

    Once Mr. Obama is gone from the White House, you will no longer need a state’s attorney general to persuade a federal district court to order Hawaii to disclose the original “birth certificate” and hand it over for forensic examination.

    Wait, what? The state archives and records offices will just fling open their doors and let anyone who wants to rifle through everyone’s documents?

  69. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:29

    It goes without saying that an English viscount is the person to provide advice on American constitutional law, or at least what the readers at WND want to be told about American constitutional law.

  70. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:45

    Shorter Lordie Monckton: “We meant to do that.”

  71. Major Kong said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:57

    If you trace these hereditary titles back far enough, you reach a point where it was just some guy who had a stronger sword arm than some other guy.

    So, I propose we go back to that system.

    We do a complete reshuffle and watch these pampered, inbred twits fight each other to the death with the winner getting to claim the title.

    Oh, and it’s open to the public too. Hopefully we’ll end up with “Spike, Duke of Windsor”.

    We can call it Survivor Britannia.

  72. gocart mozart said,

    January 25, 2013 at 22:57

    The Pantload is full of shit but I repeat myself.
    http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/338763/hillary-clinton-s-dodgy-testimony-jonah-goldberg#

    Talking points have issued; orders have been recieved; the 10 year respite whereby Hillary was treated with a modicum of respect is over; wingnuts have concluded that she will be the nominee in ’16 . . . Therefore . . . “The Return of Hillary is History’s Greatest Female Monster” is now GO!

  73. D.B. Cooper said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:05

    We can call it Survivor Britannia.

    Not only would I purchase one of those TeeVees again; I would pay to have the cable thingee plugged into my house so I could watch.

  74. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:16

    If you trace these hereditary titles back far enough, you reach a point where it was just some guy who had a stronger sword arm than some other guy.

    At this point I think it’s more if you trace the hereditary title back far enough you’ll find a guy that had a spare fortune to lend a king on generous terms, or a judge that kept somebody important out of jail or an ambitious and extortionate social climber, or a colonial official ruthless enough to bleed the natives dry until a peerage fell out. All of those old bloodlines have been relentlessly thinned by the effects of inbreeding, disputed parentage, intrigue, and untreated syphilis. So the percentage of “original badass” is homeopathically small. Survivor “Britannia’s Peerage edition” would be compelling television, I picture professional wrestling without the quiet dignity and genuine sportsmanship.

  75. Smut Clyde said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:23

    In the case of Monckton, his grandfather was ennobled for being Minister of Defense for 1956.

  76. John D. said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:27

    What a sweet thread! References to Python (in addition to the splendid graphic up top) and Blackadder, someone even mentioned Marty Feldman. Of course, given the latter worthy’s unfortunate resemblence to Lord Popeye Von Fishface (i.e. Monkeytwat), I suppose that was inevitable.

    Seriously, though, what the fuck is Monckton’s problem? Straight-up racism? Given the pro-corporate, neoliberal bent of our modern day Democratic Party, what on earth does he have to yelp about?

  77. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:28

    Helmut: re your 17:02 comment.

    This.

  78. John D. said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:29

    I just realized: Monckton looks like the love child of Marty Feldman and William F. Buckley. Yikes.

  79. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:32

    Hey, comments at WorldNut work just fine.

  80. Newt Gingrich said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:35

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

  81. Rick Perry said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:35

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

  82. Ron Paul said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:37

    As opposed to which surefire winner? Rick Santorum? Michele Bachmann? Herman fucking Cain?

    Also, Rick Perry is a dumb fuck who doesn’t know how to create italics.

  83. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:39

    POOP

  84. tigris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:42

    Dan Lacey, Painter of Pancakes.

    He really captured Grumpy Cat.

  85. Harvey Dent said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:43

    It’s not about creating italics. It’s about what’s FAIR!

  86. tigris said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:45

    Survivor “Britannia’s Peerage edition” would be compelling television, I picture professional wrestling without the quiet dignity and genuine sportsmanship.

    See, broadcasters? THIS is how you do it.

  87. Fenwick said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:47

    Fucketyfuckyou WP. I did NOT make a duplicate post because it’s not in the thread. Ihateyou Ihateyou Ihate you Even moreso because it was my very first POOP comment in Sadlyville, my first ever. I did one of those h-ref dohickeys and the link looked good in Preview. Both times. So fuck you WP and your ‘duplicate post’ bullshit.

    Now I’m going to sulk in my tent like Achilles.

  88. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:53

    Obama’s ‘Inauguration’ Marks End of the Left

    Shorter Monckton: This was a triumph.

  89. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:55

    irrelevant causes long dear to the communist left, such as “gay” “marriage.”

    Damn, if these wingnuts aren’t careful, the world will run out of Snot Quotes.

  90. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 25, 2013 at 23:56

    Islam, which the left courts because there are enough Muslim votes to make a difference, will have to learn to curb its own terrorists or be ostracized.

    WTF? The “Left” hates fanatical Islam as much as it hates fanatical Christianity, or any fanatical religious movement. Shit, if there were fanatical Jains, we’d oppose them. Righties are so weird about Islam because they have some serious fatwah envy.

  91. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:02

    [We can] watch these pampered, inbred twits fight each other to the death with the winner getting to claim the title. Oh, and it’s open to the public too. Hopefully we’ll end up with “Spike, Duke of Windsor”.

    We can call it Survivor Britannia

    Must see tee-vee.

  92. Nym said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:03

    catastrophic anthropogenic climate alarm (CACA)

    Ah, that vaunted sophisticated British wit.

  93. Chris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:06

    WTF? The “Left” hates fanatical Islam as much as it hates fanatical Christianity, or any fanatical religious movement. Shit, if there were fanatical Jains, we’d oppose them. Righties are so weird about Islam because they have some serious fatwah envy.

    And that’s what they absolutely can’t process, any more than they could process the fact that we were as anti-communist as they were during the Cold War. One, because it would mean one of the pillars of their faith – “they hate America and want to betray it” – is false. Two, because to them, all people who are not them are working together.

    (See also JFK, left-wing Papist agent of the Kremlin and the Vatican).

  94. gocart mozart said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:21

    Today in Oily Taints
    http://wonkette.com/498383/now-orly-taitz-is-gonna-arrest-the-president-uh-huh

  95. Helmut Monotreme said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:24

    WTF? The “Left” hates fanatical Islam as much as it hates fanatical Christianity, or any fanatical religious movement. Shit, if there were fanatical Jains, we’d oppose them. Righties are so weird about Islam because they have some serious fatwah envy.

    I’m going to split hairs. Monckton, ass that he is, equates all Islam with fundamentalist Islam. He also equates the left with the democratic party, collectivism in general, tooth decay and everyone who ever called him a swivel-eyed loon*. Democrats like to win elections, and so it is not wrong to say the democrats in the US court the Islamic vote which the republicans have demonized in the wake of 9/11, by saying things like “we don’t agree that you guys should be forcibly killed or converted” and “freedom of religion doesn’t mean your choices are limited to the mandatory selection of some of the nuttier flavors of Evangelical Christianity”.

    It is not wrong to say the left rejects fundamentalist Islam just as it rejects all fundamentalist religion, because it is a regressive anti-civilizing force in the world. It’s wholesale rejection of modern science, economics, and civil rights in favor of a blind adherence to the badly translated blatherings of patriarchal bronze age weirdos, liberally reinterpreted by two thousand years of con artists, perverts, and control freaks, whose random phobias, obsessions and hang-ups were elevated to the alleged laws of god for the purposes of a making a fast buck with no heavy lifting.

  96. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:26

    FucketyfuckyouWP. I tried again figuring your feeble-minded electronic crapola might have forgotten my earlier efforts. But noooooo. By keying this scornful text, however, this post is mos def NOT a duplicate. So try this on for size, WPyoucompleteshitstain!

    POOP

  97. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:26

    My first ever! I feel so proud.

  98. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2013 at 0:38

    Pooping properly for the first time is to be commended.

  99. Chris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:04

    Democrats like to win elections, and so it is not wrong to say the democrats in the US court the Islamic vote which the republicans have demonized in the wake of 9/11, by saying things like “we don’t agree that you guys should be forcibly killed or converted” and “freedom of religion doesn’t mean your choices are limited to the mandatory selection of some of the nuttier flavors of Evangelical Christianity”.

    Normally, I’d say yes, but with Muslim Americans making up half of one percent of the population and most of them living in already blue states in the Northeast and Great Lakes, I really don’t think the Democrats have ever “courted the Muslim vote” in any meaningful way. To the extent that there was any politicking, I think it was basically “we’re going to be tarred and feathered as terrorist-loving scumbags no matter what we do, so we might as well stand up for what we believe in.”

  100. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:12

    POOP.

  101. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:12

    Lord Dork of Downton Flabby.

    Heh, Dorking

    He looks like Mr. Bean at age 70.

    By Mr. Bean, I expect you mean Sawney Bean.

  102. tigris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:13

    irrelevant causes long dear to the communist left, such as “gay” “marriage.”

    Islam, which the left courts because there are enough Muslim votes to make a difference, will have to learn to curb its own terrorists or be ostracized.

    It’s the shared goals that make it work.

  103. R. Gay Trupper said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:18

    Its not over till its over, libs!
    If enough states don’t have an electional college, the election goes to the Horse of Representatives and Mittmentum!

    Bookmark it!

  104. paleotectonics said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:22

    “Now I’m going to sulk in my tent like Achilles.”

  105. tensor said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:22

    “These guys sure gloat a lot over stuff that is about to happen. You’d think the election results would have cured that.”

    No, their gloating over Rmoney’s imminent landslide of Electoral College votes, reclaiming the Senate by electing Teabaggers with doctorates in Rape Philosophy, watching Minnesota vote Republican just to bash queers away from marriage*, and mocking Nate Silver for being a geeky gayboy– that, for them, WAS the fun part. They want to re-live it again and again and again, because the subsequent reality was not kind to them, and the less-nutty know it’s going to continue that way for a long, long time.

    *And no, I don’t think George Fucking Will needs to worry about getting his delusional ass canned, sad to say.

  106. VCarlson said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:23

    “we’re going to be tarred and feathered as terrorist-loving scumbags no matter what we do, so we might as well stand up for what we believe in.”

    Except for the ones who were/are too cowardly to stand up, or don’t actually believe. They’re the ones I despise, on the grounds of they oughta know better. The shit-for-brains, syphilitic bastards like Monckton are disgusting and destructive, true, but I don’t expect as much from them.

  107. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:24

    now orly taitz is gonna arrest the president uh huh

    Oh please let her try this.

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please!

  108. John Revolta said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:26

    If enough states don’t have an electional college, the election goes to the Horse of Representatives and Mittmentum!

    Sadly, neigh.

  109. VCarlson said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:38

    WRT Pup’s poop link, the WSJ maintains women shouldn’t (get credit for) serve in combat because soldiers might have to poop in front of each other in unhygienic conditions and that either means the wimminz would be totally turned off and fail to see their fellow soldiers as sex objects (seemed to me what they meant) or wimminz (who have historically been expected to change dirty diapers and clean up vomit as part of housewifely duties) would be so totally grossed out they couldn’t function.

  110. Senator Vitter said,

    January 26, 2013 at 1:42

    wimminz (who have historically been expected to change dirty diapers and clean up vomit as part of housewifely duties) would be so totally grossed out they couldn’t function.

    That’s why they charge more for special services.

  111. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 2:29

    Despite the professionalism of Marines, it would be distracting and potentially traumatizing to be forced to be naked in front of the opposite sex, particularly when your body has been ravaged by lack of hygiene. In the reverse, it would be painful to witness a member of the opposite sex in such an uncomfortable and awkward position.

    This much I know is true:

    WSJ’s editorial bored members have never been to a Hash House Harriers’ camping trip.

  112. tigris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 2:41

    Traumatizing? Jesus, I had no idea Marines were such delicate flowers.

  113. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2013 at 2:53

    One of the titans of the 21st century has died. He had the guts to show us that “impossible is nothing”, and now he has joined impossibility in nothingness.

  114. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2013 at 2:57

    I had no idea Marines were such delicate flowers.

    I see a new career as a post-poop-stress counsellor.

  115. Bitter Scribe said,

    January 26, 2013 at 3:01

    No more Sarah Palin on Fox. I hope she saved all the money she could from her presidential-candidate striptease, because that’s something you can only do once.

  116. wiley said,

    January 26, 2013 at 3:21

    That’s terrible BBBB. Now there is one less man in the world with the confidence of a god and a lot of useless skills. Guess we’ll just have to find a way to hang on without him. Surely his snappy sayings will inspire others to—-

    o.k. I’m at a loss here.

  117. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 3:23

    I had no idea Marines were such delicate flowers.

    The last I heard from the 121st Armored Concern Troll Division, the ENTIRE USMC had ground to a halt due to Fear of a Gay Shower.

  118. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:00

    I had no idea Marines were such delicate flowers.

    If their poop is a delicate flow, they really should lay off the local food.

  119. Austin Loomis said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:04

    gocart mozart skrev:

    [T]he 10 year respite whereby Hillary was treated with a modicum of respect is over; wingnuts have concluded that she will be the nominee in ’16 . . . Therefore . . . The Return of “Hillary Tore Vince Foster’s Throat Out With Her Vaginal Teeth” is now GO!

    Fixed that for you.

  120. tigris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:05

    the ENTIRE USMC had ground to a halt due to Fear of a Gay Shower.

    Couldn’t march with the resultant GIANT BONERS, eh?

  121. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:22

    Don’t ask.

    (Sorry.)

  122. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:23

    Marines take themselves waaaaaaay too seriously at times.

  123. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 4:43

    Fear of a Gay Shower.

    They hardly even notice the gay growers.

  124. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 5:01

    The people who like to hold up Marines as the canaries in the “Liberal Social Experiment” coal mine are also the ones who think Marines like nothing more than 10 years of non-stop combat.

    Just another symptom of NeoCon Dementia.

    See also, Latino Voters: Why won’t our socially conservative, hard working greasy furriner friends learn English and vote for the GOP like we keep telling them they want them too so much?

  125. watou said,

    January 26, 2013 at 5:43

    Lord Christopher “O_o” Monckton. Snicker.

  126. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 26, 2013 at 6:04

    The fact is, laugh it up, sore winners, you are actually loosers. Here in the heartland, we will rise up against the illigitimite rain of the Black Jesus, your Messia of Socialist. Your taxes will go up and your be sorry, well we will talk back USA block by block thanks to the 2nd Amendment, witch you want to destroy well it will be you who are destroyed my sily liberal childrin, you who suck off the goverment tit will soon be diprived of nurishment.

  127. bbkf said,

    January 26, 2013 at 6:37

    No more Sarah Palin on Fox.

    looks like that facebook tea party post worked! i bet super sarah will be the head of the nra toot sweet…

  128. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 6:49

    That’s just so gosh darn mavericky of her don’t ya know.

  129. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2013 at 7:59

    The people who like to hold up Marines as the canaries in the “Liberal Social Experiment” coal mine

    Wait, what. Are federal employees from a particular occupation demanding a veto power over which classes of citizens can join the occupation as well? I am but a visitor from a simple pastoral economy but this sounds like an egregious example of labour militancy over-reach and I am sure that Republican pundits will join me in denouncing it.
    I mean, if there are some citizens whom marines do not want working alongside themselves, no-one is forcing them to stay in that career.

  130. LittlePig said,

    January 26, 2013 at 15:33

    Squeeee! Patrick Fitzgerald will be prosecuting Socrates at an upcoming retrial at the Chicago Hellenic Society, with Richard Posner as judge.

    Heard on NPR just now. I’m geeking out bigtime.

  131. LittlePig said,

    January 26, 2013 at 15:34

    National Hellenic Museum in Chicago, rather.

    I did not know we had a National Hellenic Museum.

  132. paleotectonics said,

    January 26, 2013 at 16:05

    I did not know we had a National Hellenic Museum.

    Thought it was in Wisconsin. Troy.

  133. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 16:14

    Chicago Hellenic Society

    It’s only for people named Helen?

  134. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 16:33

    hahahahahahaha
    Oily Taintz did not have a good week.
    http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/2013/01/orly_taitz_barack_obama_libel.php

  135. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 17:01

    I am but a visitor from a simple pastoral economy but this sounds like an egregious example of labour militancy over-reach and I am sure that Republican pundits will join me in denouncing it.

    Alas, they were too busy declaring that Marines would be so freaked out by the possibility of proximity to a known gay person that they would be unable to kill terrorists and then, by some process never fully explained, the terrorists would win.

    Of course, by this “logic” the terrorists could win by bombarding U.S. soldiers with wolf whistles, cat calls and lewd remarks. But to my knowledge the R.P’s never brought it up.

    Perhaps the effort of attempting to convince the world that one’s pathological level of homophobia is in fact evidence of staunch patriotism doesn’t leave much brain space for considering the full ramifications of what one is shouting into the mic.

  136. El Manquécito said,

    January 26, 2013 at 18:09

    According to Pup’s link Oily has planted invasive mal-ware on visitors to her various web-sites. She’s watching you Substance.

  137. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    January 26, 2013 at 18:09

    It’s only for people named Helen?

    30 Helens agree: Socrates got an unfair sentence.

  138. Snorghagen said,

    January 26, 2013 at 18:34

    you are actually loosers

    Not only am I looser, but I am also more laid-back and exceptionally capable of displaying a marked lack of anxiety.

  139. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 26, 2013 at 18:46

    Well, if anyone on the ‘tubez can appreciate scooter haiku, it’ll be this bunch.
    .

  140. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 19:02

    Stop.

    Miller Time.

    (Only don’t really stop it. I’m all up for Blundering Alaskan Teahaddist’s Epic Fail of a Senate Bid II – Electric Boogaloo.)

  141. Substance McGravitas said,

    January 26, 2013 at 19:30

    According to Pup’s link Oily has planted invasive mal-ware on visitors to her various web-sites. She’s watching you Substance.

    It’s more likely that she thinks people are watching her.

  142. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 19:31

    Help the GOP by taking the RNC survey.

    http://growthopp.gop.com/default.aspx

    Don’t forget to add your helpful comments!

  143. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 19:38

    I want to let you folks know that KMHD, our local jazz station (Jazz Week’s station of the year 2012!) has a program called Bom Dia (pronounced “Gia”) every Sat. morning that is a godsend for fans of Brazilan jazz. The host is a great guy who lived in Brazil. If you need a bossa nova fix or the like, dial it up.

    KMHD.org

    9-11 Pacific

  144. VCarlson said,

    January 26, 2013 at 19:48

    According to Pup’s link, a judge says Oily lied to him under oath! I thought that was the worst thing evar?

  145. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:06

    Sadlyville is entirely too much kittycentric. Have some antidote

    http://youtu.be/nr9WOrcZHWA

  146. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:19

    Need a laugh? I ran across this gem just now http://grantjkidney.com/

    Sample posts:

    ‘The elite solve problems by destroying views and cultures that differ from their own’ -The Venus Project

    Why you should throw away your tablet and other smart devices

    Obama’s vicious anti gun tyranny has commenced

    Anti gun ‘Obama Youth’ demand end of the second amendment

    France launches blitzkrieg on Mali, vows to ‘eradicate’ terrorism in the region

    And the banner! DO NOT have coffee or other liquid in your mouth when you look at the banner!

  147. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:27

    Sadlyville is entirely too much kittycentric

    No such thing.

  148. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:33

    La Resistance is cute in a Leo D. circa 2000 sort of way. But all indicators point towards unprovoked freakouts and hoarding of excreta to prevent government analysis, so … Pass.

    (Thx for the banner warning. That would have been bad for le keyboard.)

  149. El Manquécito said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:38

    France launches blitzkrieg on Mali,

    armored forces bog down 50m south of Cannes

  150. Chris said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:47

    The elite solve problems by destroying views and cultures that differ from their own

    Why are we talking about the Christian Right again?

  151. Major Kong said,

    January 26, 2013 at 20:59

    France launches blitzkrieg on Mali

    This should cause numerous head explosions in wingnutdom.

    They hate the French because, well no one really knows why they just do.

    But the French are killing scary brown Muslims.

  152. N__B said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:09

    I am but a visitor from a simple pastoral economy

    My god, Smut is a sheep. And, being on the internet, we had no way of knowing.

  153. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:12

    Baaah.

  154. Ralph von Wauwau said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:18

    My god, Smut is a sheep. And, being on the internet, we had no way of knowing.

    Really? Um, where do you live, Smut?

  155. wiley said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:29

    Help the GOP by taking the RNC survey.

    No way am I doing that to my mailbox. Somehow I got on a Republican calling list. After she told me that I had been shown to support the Republican party, I said, “I would cut my own throat before I voted for a Republican”. It appears that that effectively removed me from the cursed list.

  156. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:32

    Help the GOP by taking the RNC survey.

    This sounds like fun even before clinking the link….

  157. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:35

    Gee. Just saw wiley’s comment. That didn’t occur to me. I like to keep my inbox limited. I’d better cogitate a bit before the clicking.

  158. Snorghagen said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:52

    Mock them all you want, foolish leftomaniacs, but only WorldNetDaily dares to ask the important questions.

    (via Mahablog)

  159. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 21:55

    Sadlyville is entirely too much kittycentric.

    Dogs rule

  160. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:01

    Um, folks? You don’t HAVE TO enter your real actual SEKRIT email. Just make something up fer FSM’s sake.

  161. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:06

    armored forces bog down 50m south of Cannes

    I’m still laughing as I key this….

  162. Shakezula said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:07

    It’s kind of sweet; The desire to be honest even when dealing with the RNC.

  163. paleotectonics said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:14

    Ralph von Wauwau said,
    January 26, 2013 at 21:18

    My god, Smut is a sheep. And, being on the internet, we had no way of knowing.

    Really? Um, where do you live, Smut?

    Ralph, you’re bi?

  164. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:16

    “Those reaching to connect Obama’s fly troubles with the darkest biblical references won’t have much difficulty.”

    And boy-oh-boy do they reach for it.

  165. paleotectonics said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:19

    And the banner! DO NOT have coffee or other liquid in your mouth when you look at the banner!

    Jeebus with a 60 amp dildo – it’s the Stupendous Yappi!

  166. Fenwick said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:19

    “…Obama’s fly troubles…”

    Silly wingnutz. It was Clinton that had fly troubles.

  167. El Manquécito said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:26

    My god, Smut is a sheep. And, being on the internet, we had no way of knowing.

    Wake up sheeple!

  168. Ralph von Wauwau said,

    January 26, 2013 at 22:55

    Ralph, you’re bi?

    Hungry.

  169. N__B said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:31

    DON’T WAKE THE SHEEPLE!

    http://xkcd.com/1013/

  170. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:33

    Help the GOP by taking the RNC survey.
    http://growthopp.gop.com/default.aspx
    Don’t forget to add your helpful comments!

    Commented as Gary Ruppert, sorry I didn’t write “Obummer” in comments:

    The GOP needs to fight against socalism and moral degenerecy getting back to FOUNDERS VALUES of GOD GIVEN FREEDOMS. Republican leaders need to adhear to SECOND AMEDMENT PURITY AND SAY NO TO TYRANY. More TEA PARTY candidates for next election.

    I wonder how many Gary Rupperts have responded to the survey.

  171. Matt said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:39

    Sometimes I wonder if the austerians are merely ignorant of what happened in the 30s to bring fascism to power, or totally aware of it and eagerly waiting.

    With Monckton, there’s no wondering – he’s firmly in the second camp, dreaming of the day he gets to play “Panzer Commander vs. Milkmaid” in public…

  172. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:46

    I weep for humanity and fear for our country. Just had someone say the following to me in a “discussion” at a site I shall not name

    Which one is Clarence Thomas: sellout, Uncle Tom, house negro, or some combination thereof?

    You sound ridiculous. These black conservatives have a different perspective on race than you and your liberal ilk. It happens to be quite similar to Frederick Douglass, a man you no doubt consider a racist. The gist of it is that the government needs to stop playing social engineer and leave race out of the equation, i.e., discrimination works both ways, and a law mandating segregation is as bad as a law mandating numerical racial equality.

    That must be unfathomable to you but look at the facts. Blacks in the U.S. were moving up until the 1960′s and 70′s, since then it’s been a downward spiral. That happens to coincide with the rise of the liberal race agenda.

    I’d be happy to point you in the direction of some of Dr. Sowell’s books on the subject. Maybe you’ll still disagree, maybe not.

    The fact of the matter is that calling these prominent black conservatives house negroes [which I did not do - PM] makes you sound like an ignoramus.

    I don’t think it’s the old original Gary but I don’t know, he could be. .

  173. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:50

    Damn, I have shamefully not restocked on akvavit sio I shall run to the likkor store. Not that there’s any in the recipe, I just think making that dinner would be a great excuse reason to consume a large quantity of the stuff.

    http://jansmadblog.tumblr.com/post/39627042670/langtidsbraisseret-lammeskank-med-persillerodsmos-og

  174. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:52

    “austerian economics”
    “Austrian economics”

    Coincidence? I think not.

  175. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2013 at 23:58

    Damn, I have shamefully not restocked on akvavit

    SHUN HIM.

  176. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:14

    Damn, I have shamefully not restocked on akvavit
    SHUN HIM.

    There is no greater sin,
    Than lacking Brennevin.
    Now don’t go and get mouthy,
    Just buy some svarti dauði.

  177. wiley said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:35

    Personally, I hate caraway seeds, but must wonder if there is an alcoholic beverage somewhere in the world that is rye with caraway seeds.

  178. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:41

    And the banner! DO NOT have coffee or other liquid in your mouth when you look at the banner!

    jesus…is this guy real? i mean really? he’s kidding, right? it’s like a really bad parody of the onion? c’mon…he’s not for real….

  179. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:43

    http://cocktailquest.blogspot.com/2011/01/old-bay-ridge.html?m=1

  180. Another Kiwi said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:43

    Brian Boran from Arab, Alabama has commented on the survey. America needs strong Christian Leadership. And less taxis.

  181. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:45

    or maybe http://homedistiller.org/grain/wash-grain2/poitin

    scroll down for akvavit

  182. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 0:48

    SHUN HIM

    I was running out of freezer space and only had room for the required bottle of Corenwyn Jenever. Which, as must be noted, is required.

  183. El Manquécito said,

    January 27, 2013 at 1:02

    I’ve looked at Jan’s receipt and, while I don’t understand what he’s saying, I get the gist of the result. At a glance it seems like it has an awful lot of og in it.

  184. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 1:24

    hahaha…thanks to tom joad’s facebook page, i found this…i think it’s something that could catch on…tom wants to start one for one l two ns….

  185. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 2:00

    I was running out of freezer space and only had room for the required bottle of Corenwyn Jenever. Which, as must be noted, is required.

    Oude Jenever or Jonge Jenever? Being from Yonkers, I prefer Jonge Jenever.

    Damn, I need to get my ass back the the Netherlands.

  186. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 2:03

    Ah… Wiki says Corenwyn is it’s own thing.

  187. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 2:11

    Uh, “its” own thing… I have to go all grammar pedant on my own ass.

  188. Shakezula said,

    January 27, 2013 at 2:40

    With Monckton, there’s no wondering – he’s firmly in the second camp, dreaming of the day he gets to play “Panzer Commander vs. Milkmaid” in public…

    Both roles at once. Plus the cow. (“Come to Monckton, you lovely, lovely heifers!”)

    Have been reading Orwell on war & NAZIs and the upper class twits of those years, particularly leading up to WWII & all that groovy stuff.

    So. Yeah. No doubt there are some current UCTs who dream of a kinder, gentler, Hitler. One who left the U.K. alone and gave those bally Commie chaps what for!

  189. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 3:52

    Both roles at once. Plus the cow. (“Come to Monckton, you lovely, lovely heifers!”)

    “I say, you look udderly delicious!”

  190. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:17

    You people are exceedingly silly.
    .

  191. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:21

    You people are exceedingly silly.

    I tried being normal once. It wasn’t much fun and I wasn’t very good at it.

  192. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:28

    If we weren’t so crazy, we’d go nuts.

  193. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:51

    instead of going out tonight, the daughter, my sister and i opted to to babysit a wee tot…he’s totes adorbs though and pretty mellow…he totally digs the dog’s toys and the cat finds him suspect…

  194. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:56

    I haven’t done food pron in a while:

    We’re celebrating Mrs. Kong’s birthday today.

    I made a roast rack of elk with sauce chaesseur, a really old-school French sauce that I don’t think anyone makes any more.

  195. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 4:59

    you had me right up until ‘elk’…happy birthday to the lovely mrs. kong…

  196. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:01

    Chasseur is thought to have been invented by Philippe de Mornay, who is also credited with inventing Mornay sauce, Béchamel, sauce Lyonnaise, and sauce Porto

    dude was saucy!

  197. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:11

    sauce chaesseur, a really old-school French sauce that I don’t think anyone makes any more.

    You wound me, sir.

  198. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:16

    Ah… Wiki says Corenwyn is it’s own thing.

    Mebbee ‘s jus me but I dinna see no mention of Corenwyn on the page.

    Shirley there’s a bar/pub in the great city of New Yawk, prolly even in Brooklyn or the Brawnks wherever the hell it is you live, where you can sample it. Bols is my go-to purveyor. Useta buy it at Schiphol (what’s that, kerosene and cow shit? Must be Amsterdam) for cheap.

  199. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:22

    Chasseur is thought to have been invented by Philippe de Mornay

    Jacques de Molay Philippe de Mornay thou art avenged!

  200. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:27

    I’m actually making chicken chasseur as we type. Synchronicity!

    Truth be told, It’s a piperade/chasseur mashup sort of _thing_. Truth be told, it’s just me fucking around and making something with no regard to anything except making some tasty dinner. Truth be told, that’s how I roll.

  201. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:29

    sauce chaesseur, a really old-school French sauce that I don’t think anyone makes any more.

    when i googled it, a recipe popped up for it…an emeril recipe…i figured it would be an abomination, so i didn’t even look…

  202. Pupienus Maximus said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:30

    Truth be told, I’M RUNNING NEKKID THRU THE THREAD!

    Speculation about the guy running nekkid thru the thread being a shower or grower is left to your fevered little imaginations.

  203. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:37

    for such a cute little baby he has some really stinky poop…

  204. N__B said,

    January 27, 2013 at 5:47

    roast rack of elk

    Good eating, as long as the elk didn’t have implants.

  205. Shakezula said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:07

    Speculation about the guy running nekkid thru the thread being a shower or grower is left to your fevered little imaginations.

    Rumor has it that MTV is about to launch a game show called Shower or Grower?

    In this case the rumor is something I just made up, but would you really be surprised? Me neither.

    All of this talk about naked elks in secret sauce has made me peckish.

  206. MarkusR said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:12

    Why is WND outsourcing American fear mongering to the British!?!

    It’s an outrage, I tell you. Lad.

  207. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:18

    Mebbee ‘s jus me but I dinna see no mention of Corenwyn on the page

    It’s ‘cos those Dutchies spell it Korenwijn.

    Shirley there’s a bar/pub in the great city of New Yawk, prolly even in Brooklyn or the Brawnks wherever the hell it is you live, where you can sample it. Bols is my go-to purveyor. Useta buy it at Schiphol (what’s that, kerosene and cow shit? Must be Amsterdam) for cheap.

    Gotta look- I usually stick to beer when I drink out, and I usually stick to whisky or vodka (Zubrowka’s my fave) at home… though I have a bunch of bottles of local specialties bought abroad- still have a Kuebler absinthe bottle my bro brought from Switzerland years ago, a Sint Maarten guavaberry bottle, and a shiso-infused sweet potato shochu that I drink sparingly because I can’t get it in the states.

    On the sauce chasseur bit, I’m planning on making a steak and kidney pie (truth be told, I use beef heart rather than steak) so I can run the oven during this cold snap, and I always make a dark brown sauce for this particular dish.

  208. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:20

    when i googled it, a recipe popped up for it…an emeril recipe…i figured it would be an abomination, so i didn’t even look…

    I can picture him doing a chorizo chasseur, with some extra BAM! Is he still on the T.V. these days?

  209. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:23

    I can picture him doing a chorizo chasseur, with some extra BAM! Is he still on the T.V. these days?

    serious bam! idk if he’s still on…it seems as though america’s obsession with him has waned, thank bob…because really? emeril hawing toothpaste (bam!)? how much of an attention whore and/or greedy mofo to do that?

  210. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:25

    I have a couple of his cookbooks. He’s actually a pretty decent chef.

  211. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:36

    He’s actually a pretty decent chef

    i can never take him seriously because he reminds me of nick tortelli…

  212. Another Kiwi said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:42

    I’m gone for ten minutes and it’s all secret elk sauce and running about nekkid. Curse you upsidedownies and your timezones!
    Yech Monkeytown and the Heifers, whilst a good name for the second album sucks in mental imagery.

  213. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:46

    I can’t be hating Emeril- he seems like a decent enough guy, he just got overexposed for a while. Ya know, anybody who encourages people to cook at home and to avoid consuming too many factory foods is okay in my book.

  214. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:47

    whilst a good name for the second album sucks in mental imagery.

    indeed…monckton frolicking with heifers is a most unpleasnt image indeed…

  215. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:50

    who encourages people to cook at home

    as part of my income depends on people going out to eat, i certainly can’t condone such a thing…

  216. Major Kong said,

    January 27, 2013 at 6:50

    There’s a chef here in Columbus who desperately wanted to work for him. She sent resume after resume but got no response. Finally she drove down to New Orleans and showed up at his office – he hired her.

    http://alanas.com/

  217. bbkf said,

    January 27, 2013 at 7:10

    omg…love her menu…and this is beyond awesome:
    rewriting the menu, an additional 45

    cell phones and texting interfere with proper dinner preparationrewriting

  218. Smut Clyde said,

    January 27, 2013 at 9:16

    it’s all secret elk sauce and running about nekkid
    And some chef with a surname that sounds like the name of a new drug for haemorrhoids.

  219. Bozo the Cocksucker said,

    January 27, 2013 at 15:45

    “gay” “marriage”

  220. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2013 at 19:56

    You people are exceedingly silly.

    +1

  221. Fenwick said,

    January 27, 2013 at 20:31

    Happy Birthday to the lovely Mrs. Kong.

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