Yeah, this is real… And Drudge is still the main source for universal Republican talking points… I’ve got nothing to add to that
Marion DS Dreyfus, American “Salt of the Earth”:
Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained
The wingnut response to Django Un…
Okay, I need to address some elephants in the room first. Specifically, some bullet-ridden, blood-soaked first-grade elephant bodies in the room.
The Sandy Hook shooting.
It’s what this post should honestly be about. It’s sickening that we regularly let such tragedies occur because of the paranoid fee-fees of a bunch of racist, sexist bed-wetters. And it’s gut-churning to know that even when the victims are a bunch of lily-white often blonde children, we are never going to break out of the cycle of responses to gun-violence that keep us from talking about real solutions to issues of gun control and violence against women that are central to each of these shootings.
And it’s not like I don’t have material. Ace of Spades has been terrible enough on his own to give me a hundred posts. Mike Huckabee’s attempt to blame the shooting on secular humanism not letting his goon squads harass queer youth is worth a good solid roasting. Glenn Reynolds has been perpetually topping himself in terms of ghoulishness with each new post. And some of the twitter actions to try and use other issues of violence to try and “get revenge” for being called out on Sandy Hook are enough to make one lose their lunch.
But I’m not going to write that post and it largely has everything to do with everything I try to write about it just turning into a spittle-flecked unleashing of raw hate. We know how it’s going to go down. That no matter how egregious the crime or how frequently they are now occurring, we’ll never seem to break the cycle wherein the penis-extension murder sticks are valued over innocent lives (especially the lives of women) and that no matter how many times the men committing the crimes turn out to be the same damn people, we won’t be able to address those issues either.
Instead it’s all “crazy people” “lone gunman” this and “don’t give into desire to legislate” “Obama’s taking your guns away” that.
And I’m sorry, but I’m just tired of trying to mine the dark humor from that particular seam right now… and it has nothing to do with the fact I tried and failed… besides Tintin did it better…
Anyways, Django Unchained:
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- No. No fair talking about how the slave-era South wasn’t a happy fantasy kingdom filled with magical dancing slaves who were surely happier when they didn’t have to strain their tiny nigger brains about issues of inequality. Now all those uppity escaped slaves are going to get uppity again and be less willing to smile graciously when we talk about how much ‘better’ things were back in those days.
So Django Unchained has caused the wingnuts to collectively lose their shit. I guess after so many years after pretending their fervent fantasies and love letters to one of America’s greatest shames was simply a matter of “upholding heritage”, having their noses rubbed in what that heritage means for the rest of us must have stung like nobody’s business.
Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained is a Weinstein avatar. It features the requisite sloppy buckets of scenic splatter, sometimes multiple draughts from the same “fire wall,” a dead body that serves as a guardway against a rifle, and 30-06 barrage for the protagonist, Django “Freeman,” plus the dispatch of every white person to appear on screen for longer than a cigarette draw, excessive evidences of modern-day sensibility back-retro’ed into 1848 (“two years before the Civil War,” we are legended pompously), a tapestry of evil over-depiction of the ills and debaucheries of the slave period. The PC Weinsteins and zealous bloodlusty Tarantino miss not a trick for the audience, amused and titillated by the winsome Christopher Waltz (the very same from the film this most resembles, Inglourious Basterds, for its untruthfulness).
I mean, try to read that paragraph and not picture a woman bitterly weeping as she types it.
Wah, it’s not fair, they’re lying about how bad it was. All the slaves were super happy and nobody white did anything bad ever. Make the bad fiction-writer stop lying, mommy. I don’t want to see my fantasies of a “proper society” through the lenses of the modern condemnation that era has rightfully earned. Make them stop seeing my heroes as evil, mommy!
We are, again, under a different director, being toasted over an Oliver Stone goblet of faux history. History as rewritten by nihilist jokers with an agenda. No gang of do-gooders rode in “to kill nazzies,” as Brad Pitt drawls in Basterds, just as no Django vision of justice and retribution rode the South astride a palomino, toting a Remington, with a perplexingly adorable German dentist-cum-bounty hunter.) Sensitive viewers are equally revolted by the excesses of polite rich company, represented by the arrogant-effete plantationer Leo DiCaprio and the noblesse not obliged Don Johnson as Big Daddy.
It’s not some documentary we can browbeat into “being fair to both sides” about the “War of Northern Aggression in which we shot first, seceded first, invaded first, and declared war first”, and that’s just not right. Providing cathartic release to the population mistreated by us for so many decades before and after the end of slavery is like Hitler times a million!
And why aren’t things in movies 100% accurate like the documentary Red Dawn?!?
There is a funny if anachronistic scene where precursors to the KKK ride out to the range in homemade bags with eyeholes that do not fit the 30 men bent on burning out our heroes. Funny. But again, no crowning posse of evil-wishers threw down their wife-crafted hoods because their eye-holes didn’t fit and they could see nothing as they galumphed along to rid the South of an uppity black “valet” and his mystifyingly gentlemanly dentist protector, played by the perfect-pitch Waltz.
See! We’re willing to throw you a bone and admit that the KKK might have been a bad idea, so why you got to be hating on nice innocent slave holders?!?
At 2 hours 45 minutes, it does not bore. Does it entertain? Sure does. But it cannot be said to elevate. The movie is full of colorful language more common to today’s ghetto and hip-hop palaces, but never mind. No one spent a long fortnight researching curse words of the mid-19th century. In the face of endless incantations of the sour [Negro] word, the audience endures endless violent lard, along with the half-grunt inarticulateness of Caucasian ranch hands who are barely above the Pleistocene for primitivism.
In A Treatise on the Intellectual Character and Civil and Political Condition of the Colored People of the United States: and the Prejudice Exercised Towards Them (1837), Hosea Easton wrote that nigger “is an opprobrious term, employed to impose contempt upon [blacks] as an inferior race. . . . The term in itself would be perfectly harmless were it used only to distinguish one class of society from another; but it is not used with that intent. . . . [I]t flows from the fountain of purpose to injure.” Easton averred that often the earliest instruction white adults gave to white children prominently featured the word nigger. Adults reprimanded them for being “worse than niggers,” for being “ignorant as niggers,” for having “no more credit than niggers”; they disciplined them by telling them that unless they behaved they would be carried off by “the old nigger” or made to sit with “niggers” or consigned to the “nigger seat,” which was, of course, a place of shame.
You were saying?
Django, the freed slave who helps his mentor kill the wanted criminals of the Southern veldt, is quickly svelte and super-civilized — reading, and speaking, and tipping his felted hat to those that need be appeased before they are shot in a lightning splatter. Did slaves shed their tempi and timorousness in a few days?
I mean, honestly, if we were really so bad back then, would one of those uppity niggers (in fiction) be able to rise out of the fear to strike at us? Hell, the existence of Nat Turner should definitively prove that not only were white slaveholders not that bad, but that they were the real victims of reverse racism and black violence even back then. Honestly, it’s any wonder that liberal Hollywood won’t let us good god-fearing “real” Americans have our brutal revenge-fantasy about those uppity, whitey-killing slaves and their untamed jungle ways.
No baddie escapes. No goodie gets an untimely end (except one).
Holy fuck, it’s a feel-good action movie?!? How could such a thing be?!?!?!?!?
However cleverly scripted, nodding to our contemporary sensibilities — an easy grab, no big adherence to the truth of 150 years ago in language and mores — this is an orgiastic spill of negativity and white self-loathing.
Goddamn race traitors, like those damn kids voting for the Obamas and the vijeo games! Where’s our big budget action movie catering to the wishful fantasies of white men wherein brown-skinned or black people are reduced to comedy side-kick roles or obvious villains? What do you mean every other movie out there? That can’t be when I live in such fear of oppression that I need to stockpile 20 arsenals worth of military grade weaponry just to feel “safe”.
The acting of all concerned is as spectacular as the vision is consistently, reliably gory. Tarantino does not spare the pyrotechnics and the multiple-massacre scene staple. Blacks will feel an atavistic delight at the earned retribution. Whites will feel the guilt and disturbance of we-told-you-so rue. As in the current Lincoln, also untrue in the main, the blacks are all good; the whites, save for Christoph’s bounty-hunter/savior, are all bad.
Yeah, oppressed slaves were super evil! Why does no one ever recognize this?
Goddamn liberal nigger-loving Hollywood queers and their historical revisionism. Nothing at all like how we try and bury the history of our ill-deeds behind a giant smoke-screen of bullshit and accusations of anti-Americanism!
Not a good movie for the start of another fairly difficult presidential tenure. It’s a too-easy grab at convulsive payback. It celebrates the uglier parts of our inner equilibrium. We know we are being manipulated to love that guy, hate this guy, delight in the suffering and well-deserved comeuppance of the hero. We’re supposed to cheer for the wrenching murder of ourselves. It’s worse than Avatar.
Hmm. Might there be a connection to why these movies stung so badly that extends beyond them being simplistic action movies that glorify violence. Perhaps some general thread of wanting to pretend away the rightful historical condemnations to policies once and still cheered. Actions against blacks, native-americans, women, queers, etc… that no longer look as justified now that everyone agrees the actions were terrible. So that, now when all the credit due your actions is given, your only recourse is to run and hide and complain about how “revisionist” it is when fiction even obliquely refers to said actions.
It’s almost like all the blather about personal responsibility is thinly veiled IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION to hide the fact that whenever your policies succeed and the consequences of them play out, you are the first to run screaming away from them crying about how it isn’t fair.
But I mean, that couldn’t be, right?
Watching it will re-ignite the angers stoked by previous such barely-veiled revenge dramas as were Amistad
Yeah, it’s only these lying fiction films that are to blame for people thinking our fervently pursued policies have real meaningful consequences.
I mean, it’s not like you have the same old evasions and angry denunciations of anything that speaks negatively about the negative consequences of your policies and actions no matter what it is. It’s not like the same angry accusations of “unfair representations” and “historical revisionism” weren’t hurled at comic books that tried to address apartheid back when only South Africa still believed that it wasn’t racist and evil.
Not like you haven’t tried to pretend racism is over at every single point since the Constitution first declared slaves non-voting 3/5 of a person pieces of property. Not like you haven’t attacked feminism at every point while decrying how stifling and fearful one feels when one is drowning in sexist, toxic notions of masculinity.
Not like you haven’t tried to hide from the consequences of your endless calls for war or tried to remove all the references to union-busting, violence against peaceful liberal protestors, or genocide against native Americans from the history textbooks.
Not like you haven’t gone running and screaming whenever your fervent support for oppression has finally soured in the public eye due to the long, slow bend of inevitable history.
And it’s not like every single time another woman-hating fucker with easy access to an armory shoots up a woman or an unarmed minority, or even a classroom filled with first graders with weapons that not even military personnel in war zones are allowed to carry unsupervised, we get the same old tired apologies and distractions and whines about your freedom to kill whoever you want.
If your policies are so horrifying, so filled with negative consequences, so unbearable in the harsh light of day, that not even your band of merry sociopaths can stand to see them without polish and whitewash…
Maybe, you should do us all a little favor and STOP FUCKING SUPPORTING THEM.
If you’re so sick of having your legacies of racism or the dead bodies of 20 first-graders shoved in your face, maybe you should stop gleefully creating them because “you want to make liberals cry”.
If the blood on your hands stings, maybe you should let us wash it off instead of jamming your arms elbow-deep in the viscera.
Maybe instead of whining about the personal responsibility us poor battered proles should exhibit, maybe you can try exhibiting just a fraction of it yourselves and accept the condemnation your history of unmitigated evil has wrought.
And maybe then, next time, you’ll think twice before you decide to continue devoting your life to making the lives of oppressed people more miserable.
Or hey, continue doing what you’re doing and continue feeling personally oppressed by movies like Django Unchained twisting in the knife like they should. It seems to be all you’re good for these days.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Being eyes deep in the viscera and sick of it is invented by every remaining sane person on the planet right now. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™