Dec
10

Let Them Eat Rawhide Strips!




Posted at 19:53 by Tintin


ABOVE: Viscount Lachlan Markay, Third Marquis of Ramtown, Fourteenth Earl of Perth Amboy Junction

Shorter Lacky Malarkey, The DeMinted Foundation
Obamacare May Hike Your Pet’s Health Care Bills

  • I do not see why I must pay my veterinarian an extra $5 for shots for my Welsh Corgis just to help pay for healthcare for some sick poor person. Do poor people fetch? Do they play ball? Do they let me scratch their bellies? No, of course they don’t! They are just vile parasites who mooch from the producers!

Lachlan Markay is apparently an “investigative reporter” over at the Heritage Foundation and he’s just been showing his keen investigatory skills by going through the Federal Register looking at agency rules. And he discovered, he thinks, that the Obamacare tax is going to apply to items sold to your veterinarian like examination gloves and catheters. This means that if you are rich enough to own a dog, you may have to pay a few dollars more for Fido’s shots so that, say, people don’t die from untreated medical conditions. Shocking! I can scarcely control my outrage.

The problem is, well, you know, the problem is SADLY, NO! If you follow his link, the rule makes clear that if a manufacturer makes an item for the veterinary market and sells only to the veterinary market there is no Obamacare tax on that item even if it is the kind of item that could also be sold for human medical use. Mr. Malarkey appears to think that the item will be taxed if it could be used on humans but that’s not the case. It’s only taxed if a manufacturer lists an item, and the manufacturer does not have to list an item that it produces only for veterinary use.

Do ya think that putting Jim DeMint in charge of these fellows will increase the level of scholarship at Heritage? (Hint: trick question or rhetorical question, you decide!)

UPDATE:  Mr. Malarkey has, er, “responded” via Twitter.   He apparently doesn’t get the joke.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


166 Comments »

  1. kg said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:58

    As long as my dog Luke gets his free cellphone I’m cool with whatever.

  2. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:01

    Why is this guy so upset? Going to veterinarians is practically the Republican health care plan.

  3. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:16

    I’m going with trick rhetorical question.

  4. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:26

    This has to be a trick hypothetically rhetorical question, because he can’t really be worried about veterinarian bills. Republicans just take their dogs out in the back and shoot them when they get sick. Duh. They just wish they could do the same with old and/or poor people.

  5. Whale Chowder said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:28

    If the poors would let him scratch their bellies would he be willing to pay for their healthcare?

  6. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:37

    somebody has a case of the mondays:

    You all make a big joke of this while your liberties are confiscated. Hell… you don’t care as long as you have your pathetic ration of humanity which is dictated to you but nothing more. You make me sick.

  7. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:37

    FWIW, even Jennifer Rubin thinks the Heritage Foundation is full of shit.

  8. Do not take any medications prescribed by DrKennethNoisewater said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:40

    As long as my dog Luke gets his free cellphone I’m cool with whatever.

    Yikes. Awfully early in the thread to be winning the Internets. Now you’ve ruined this thread for the rest of us.

  9. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:43

    Damnit. Now I’m stuck with the image of DeMint and Lord Sparrowfart up there and the rest of them circling around the office on all fours sniffing each other’s butts.

  10. Luke said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:43

    4G smartphone or nothing. Arf.

  11. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:44

    My dog buried her free iPhone in the back yard after she figured out that Siri doesn’t speak dog.

  12. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:48

    Now you’ve ruined this thread for the rest of us.

    And yet that is what a first comment should be. Bozo’s rage may be abating.

  13. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:54

    It used to be that dogs were FREE, running around shitting and pissing wherever they pleased, chasing cars and biting children. Now your namby-pamby-pussy Obama mandates that sissy liberal feet never touch the poop of liberty.

  14. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:01

    It used to be that dogs were FREE, running around shitting and pissing wherever they pleased, chasing cars and biting children. Now your namby-pamby-pussy Obama mandates that sissy liberal feet never touch the poop of liberty.

    legend-in-his-own-mind joe soucheray pinpoints the exact dawning of what he calls ‘the mystery’ (meaning when liberals took over the world) as being when leash laws were enacted…

  15. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:01

    From the article

    The device tax is expected to raise costs for consumers. A recent survey of 181 manufacturers found that a 52.5 percent majority plan to “pass along some or all of the increased cost [of the tax] to our consumers.” Among North American manufacturers, the portion who said they would raise prices was an even higher 58 percent.

    A cursory amount of Googling has informed me that this is actually a good result. Nevermind the fact that we’re talking about a whoppingly huge 2.3% excise tax (like that’s totally going to skyrocket any vet bills you get – almost all of which is for human/pet useable devices!). The issue was that a lot of medical device manufacturers are locked into supply contracts with hospitals, etc. and thus would not be able to raise prices. This meant that the 2.3% tax would have to be paid for by other cost-cutting (read layoffs) approaches. Also nevermind that medical device manufacturer profits continue to increase as has the overall size of their market. Thus for medical device manufacturers to be able to increase device prices is a good thing – and also completely irrelevant to dipshit’s argument.

  16. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:11

    Bozo’s rage may be abating.

    But he was so good at it! Still a waning Bozo might be better than a waxing Bozo.

  17. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:18

    Waxing the Bozo.

  18. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:38

    I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see Bozo’s moon. Waxing or waning.

  19. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:42

    Incidentally, the Heritage link for the FDA is borked. Man those guys really hate gubmint (or love it a lot since the HTML fail is they double pasted the URI). Here is the unborked version.

    Listing a medical device is a positive action taken by the manufacturer of the device. Devices are default not listed for the 2.3% excise tax – but become subject to it if they are intended for use in humans. Clearly indicated in the FDA page is that “dual use” devices do not have to be listed as medical devices if they aren’t intended to be used on humans. The FDA only recommends meeting similar performance standards.

  20. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 10, 2012 at 21:51

    LEAFS SUCK Mayoral Crisis Op-Ed

    I do not support IKEAmonkey in the by-election to replace Rob Ford. That IKEA store runs a dedicated shuttle bus to Leslie Station on the Sheppard stubway but the little simian dude was in the parking lot. I want a mayor who’s not only transit friendly but actually uses the TTC to go places.

  21. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:25

    that is one cute little monkey…of course, it brings this to mind…

  22. That Girl said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:25

    There are some pretty good mangoes over there. I’m pretty sure modern conservatives have the most unsophisticated sense of humor of any group in history.

  23. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:33

    That sounds like a challenge to me.

  24. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:36

    Jacketing the monkey.

  25. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:37

    Full Monkey Jacket.

  26. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:38

    That sounds like a challenge to me.

    Now don’t go mixing “unsophisticated” and “extraordinarily juvenile but endearingly so” up.

  27. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:40

    Sez you.

  28. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:41

    that is one cute little monkey,,,

    Sure that’s better qualifications than the current office-holder has, but I’m hoping for a bit more in my next mayor.

  29. Who is Dr.KennethNoisewater? said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:42

    Zomg, there’s an Obama eats dogs Derp Derp joke…

  30. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:44

    Well, since poor people won’t have to get their antibiotics from veternarians, things should balance out.

  31. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:45

    Next time, I’ll read the comments before posting- Bitter Scribe’s gonna AHEM me back to the Stone Age.

  32. That Girl said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:53

    See, “jacketing the monkey” might be juvenile, but it’s also hilarious. This is what passes for humor over there:

    “congressional and union-owned pets are undoubtedly exempt from this.”

  33. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:53

    OBAMA IS MESSING WITH OUR KETAMINE SUPPLY.

  34. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:55

    for sheer dumbassery and lameitude, this one is my favorite:

    although we could always consider using the vets for OUR healthcare and save money.. and most likely get better care..lol..

  35. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:56

    This is what passes for humor over there: “congressional and union-owned pets are undoubtedly exempt from this.”

    I’m laughing, but on the inside where it doesn’t show. Deep, deep down inside.

  36. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:56

    Next time, I’ll read the comments before posting- Bitter Scribe’s gonna AHEM me back to the Stone Age.

    No worries, B4. If I had a nickel for every AHEMable comment I’ve made, I’d have…lots of nickels.

  37. mat said,

    December 10, 2012 at 22:59

    The wingnutties have to make up imaginary grievances to hate Obama. Priceless.

  38. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:06

    This is what passes for humor over there: “congressional and union-owned pets are undoubtedly exempt from this.”

    Union dogs are all about the doos.

  39. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:08

    This is what passes for humor over there: “congressional and union-owned pets are undoubtedly exempt from this.”

    Actually, if these people are so worried about this maybe they shouldn’t have gotten pets who manufactured medical devices.

  40. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:10

    Union dogs are all about the doos.

    I imagine that the whole “union pets” thing is based on an old right-wing joke.

  41. Alex said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:16

    Lacky just panicked because auto-erotic self-catheterization is the only way in which he can experience sexual release.

  42. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:21

    Damn those anti-business Democrats! http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2012/12/john_kitzhaber_calls_legislato.html

  43. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:30

    I imagine that the whole “union pets” thing is based on an old right-wing joke.

    Oof.

  44. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:30

    IKEA monkey explanation

  45. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:35

    Damn those anti-business Democrats!

    That reminds me — there’s a hastily-scrawled sign in a yard at the edge of campus that says simply: “Uncle Phil likes little boys”

    I figured they were mad about the civil war game, but perhaps they just don’t like corporations bribing gubmint for tax breaks to not ship (even moar) jobs overseas.

  46. Another Kiwi said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:47

    Oh, the bestest comment!
    When I got married in 1857, we lived in the country, and the neighbor’s dog impregnated our young female, a union which gave me the dog I most cherish out of all I have been blessed to call my pets throughout my 74 years of existence
    That dog bit General Tecumseh Sherman on the butt! I loved it dearly and if he had not looked at it oddly it would never have bitten him. It used to bite a lot of people but Iuvved it

  47. Tintin said,

    December 10, 2012 at 23:53

    Count Malarkey is responding by Twitter. See the update in the post above.

  48. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:09

    See the update in the post above.

    I wonder if we’ll get a derpitude of trolls dropping by now.

  49. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:12

    a derpitude of trolls

    that would prolly be similar to a gaggle of geese, wouldn’t it?

  50. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:14

    that would prolly be similar to a gaggle of geese, wouldn’t it?

    Yep, but the geese are way smarter.

  51. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:18

    Praise jeebus!

  52. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:21

    Not only do they not get the joke, they apparently don’t know what “outside” means either.

    Let me help.

  53. smut clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:43

    OBAMA IS MESSING WITH OUR KETAMINE SUPPLY.

    I got mine, fuck you!

  54. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:46

    LEAFS SUCK Mayoral Crisis Update:
    Spending moar time with family or hiking the Appalachian trail, #TOpoli is so effed up by Rob Ford Existentialist Theatre that taking vacation in December is now news.

  55. smut clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:47

    a derpitude of trolls
    that would prolly be similar to a gaggle of geese, wouldn’t it?

    Like geese (a gaggle or skein), you need *two* collective terms for trolls, depending on whether they are stationary (a bridge) or hit-&-running.

  56. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:54

    depending on whether they are stationary

    A slowness of trolls.

  57. Whale Chowder said,

    December 11, 2012 at 0:58

    http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2012/12/john_kitzhaber_calls_legislato.html

    There was just an article in the Seattle Times about how all those auto manufacturers had abandoned the plants all through the midwest after getting big tax breaks to build (or keep) plants. Bottom line: be careful what tax breaks you offer because apparently manufactures have no compunction about taking your tax cut and stiffing your town anyway. Who knew?!

  58. VCarlson said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:10

    A nastiness of trolls vs a derpitude of trolls?

  59. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:17

    A psychopathy of trolls?

  60. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:28

    a festering of trolls?

  61. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:28

    a twunt of trolls…

  62. tigris said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:30

    Maybe stationary bridge trolls are measured in smoots?

  63. RWW said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:30

    Bwahahahaha. Just think of all the tax money Uncle Sugar could suck up from the Queen Anns and Rafalcas to redistribute to blah people and illegal immigrants. Like most wingnut butthurt bleatings about socialism, it’s too bad this isn’t true.

  64. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 11, 2012 at 1:31

    The troll roll

  65. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:03

    A boil of trolls

  66. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:03

    Oooh, I like this one:

    A trepanning of trolls

  67. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:08

    Maybe stationary bridge trolls are measured in smoots?

    Good one, high five!

    A tribulation of trolls

    Trolls and tribulations…

  68. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:13

    Maybe stationary bridge trolls are measured in smoots?

    Good one, high five

    I had to look that up — well played indeed!

  69. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:13

    A monday of trolls.

  70. Major Kong said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:16

    A clusterfuck of trolls.

  71. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:20

    A scourge of trolls.

  72. kg said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:22

    All hail butt-jeebus!

    —a colostomy of trolls

  73. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:25

    According to this it’s a malevolence of trolls.

  74. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:26

    Also found, and I like this one: a growth of trolls.

  75. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:27

    Oh, and I would have posted earlier, but OBS linked to imgur again.

  76. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:28

    According to this it’s a malevolence of trolls.

    Pfft. Moar fun to make up our own:

    A cowardice of trolls.

  77. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:29

    Oh, and I would have posted earlier, but OBS linked to imgur again.

    Yeah, sorry. The butt jeebus was too good not to share.

  78. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:32

    A Ruppert of trolls.

  79. CRA said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:36

    I like clever, fanciful names for groups of creatures. People miss the point when they insist on a “correct” name. Let’s refer to herds of bats, or whatever. That implies the occupation “bat-herd.” I’d prefer “bat-wallah.”

    I dimly understand a “wallah” to be a person who wrangles something. I saw a langur-wallah on TV– his langur was tasked with chasing monkeys off the train. In India, mind you.

  80. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:40

    There was just an article in the Seattle Times about how all those auto manufacturers had abandoned the plants all through the midwest after getting big tax breaks to build (or keep) plants. Bottom line: be careful what tax breaks you offer because apparently manufactures have no compunction about taking your tax cut and stiffing your town anyway. Who knew?!

    This isn’t quite the same thing. The governor is asking that _any_ company willing to commit to making certain minimum investments in facilities, jobs, etc., will be guaranteed their taxes won’t go up over the next few years. In Nike’s case, they will commit nearly a billion dollars to expanding here, with something north of 10,000 jobs in the deal. In return for not going elsewhere they want a guarantee of current tax rates for five years or something. Sounds reasonable even to me.

  81. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:43

    A fundament of trolls.

  82. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:45

    A concern of trolls.

  83. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 2:52

    I dimly understand a “wallah” to be a person who wrangles something.

    Would that make the citrus beverage wrangler the Ting Tang wallah?

  84. VCarlson said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:05

    Ooh. I like a concern of trolls. Also, those other collective terms are a lot of fun. I’ll have to bookmark them, libs.

    A Cheney of trolls, for the ones lurking in the dark.

  85. smut clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:14

    Did someone say “bat-herd”?

  86. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:18

    LEAFS SUCK Budget Deputation Update:

    Still going on. Looks like some overflow for tomorrow as well.

  87. Cerberus said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:22

    OT, but just had to spend the day grinning and bearing while one of my coworkers decided to educate a bunch of my fellow coworkers in sexist myths and racist bullshit about one of my groups of kids today (who were actually great (super bright, didn’t complain at all about the part where they had to do math, creative, etc…) despite having a bad reputation).

    Why did I have to grin and bear it? Because she recently got me in trouble with upper management and HR because I was supposedly “rude” the last time I tried to politely correct her ignorant and hateful bullshit.

    Oh for a large enough hammer to smash the fuckwads of the world.

  88. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:29

    smashing the fuckwad…or a fuckwad of trolls…

  89. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:37

    I am greatly relieved to learn that my infamous catblog is Google’s #1 result for the search term, “Curlyzilla.” Thank you. Thank you. mwah!
    .

  90. N__B said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:38

    tigris said,
    December 11, 2012 at 1:30

    Maybe stationary bridge trolls are measured in smoots?

    Thanks for the reminder of how much I despise MIT.

  91. Golem Heart said,

    December 11, 2012 at 3:49

    Cerberus said,
    December 11, 2012 at 3:22

    This sounds like what happened to my wife the other day. I’ll remain vague. Asshole visitor shows up at meeting. Wife and other sensible types fight back firmly but politely. Asshole complains to management that people were rude and unprofessional! Management calls people on the carpet. After much drama it emerges that everyone thinks asshole was an asshole. Too late, sensible people have been treated like children, much time wasted.

  92. CRA said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:03

    Did someone say “bat-herd”?

    Is your blog always like that? I ask because I clicked the “shall be back” button (unlike 46.05% of your visitors, the dullards) hoping for more excitement.

  93. tigris said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:08

    I ask because I clicked the “shall be back” button (unlike 46.05% of your visitors, the dullards) hoping for more excitement.

    When you go back you can click the “sha’n't” button, too.

  94. McJohn said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:21

    Re the revelatory canine pic: the missus commented, “Spell ‘dog’ backwards…”

  95. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:46

    At one time I had a collection (virtual, natch) of Jeebus dog butts. And a few Jeebus doors, grilled cheese sammich jeebuses and such. Smut Clyde’s vast collection of images may be impressive and diverse but I have Jeebus dog butts so suck it, Herr C.

  96. VCarlson said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:50

    When you go back you can click the “sha’n’t” button, too.

    Unless you’re looking at the mobile version. None of the side extras show.

  97. Jeffraham, Warm Cave said,

    December 11, 2012 at 4:54

    Side Show Extras

    (yeah, I know… late)
    .

  98. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 11, 2012 at 5:13

    At one time I had a collection (virtual, natch) of Jeebus dog butts.

    Ask and ye shall receive.

  99. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 11, 2012 at 5:17

    zomg. LEAFS SUCK Mayoral Crisis Update – And teh plot thinks edition

    https://mobile.twitter.com/aylwinlo/status/278331501668605952/photo/1

  100. CRA said,

    December 11, 2012 at 5:45

    When you go back you can click the “sha’n’t” button, too.

    I hate to dissemble, but if it’ll keep him on his toes, fine.

  101. Smut Clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 5:47

    Is your blog always like that?

    Always like what?

    Unless you’re looking at the mobile version. None of the side extras show.
    Only accessible to readers in Alabama.

  102. tigris said,

    December 11, 2012 at 5:54

    Unless you’re looking at the mobile version. None of the side extras show.
    Only accessible to readers in Alabama.

    Silly Smut, it’s from Rigoletto.

  103. Another Kiwi said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:03

    Is your blog always like that? Sometimes it’s…quite a few times we do…There was this one time… Then I found out I was on another site by mistake.

  104. Smut Clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:26

    Is your blog always like that?

    Sometimes Another Kiwi has a sugar rush from too many Chocolate Hob-Nobs and puts everything in blink tags.

  105. N__B said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:44

    I seem to remember Geocities sites with rotating dollar signs.

  106. CRA said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:52

    Always like what?

    I could not have formed the question any better. I suppose it was a leading question.

  107. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 11, 2012 at 7:34

    I always imagined the collective noun for trolls was a trawler-full.

  108. Whale Chowder said,

    December 11, 2012 at 8:21

    An abutment of trolls.

  109. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 11, 2012 at 8:21

    Oh for a large enough hammer to smash the fuckwads of the world.

    Cropdusters loaded with aerosolized smart drugs. LOTS of them.

    Plan B involves coming up with exciting new recipes focusing on ways to cook insects & roadkill.
    I’m not partial to Plan B.

  110. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 11, 2012 at 10:05

    Another Kiwi said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:03

    Is your blog always like that? Sometimes it’s…quite a few times we do…There was this one time… Then I found out I was on another site by mistake.

    Smut Clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 6:26

    Is your blog always like that?

    Sometimes Another Kiwi has a sugar rush from too many Chocolate Hob-Nobs and puts everything in blink tags.

    It’s been a while since the animated gifs have induced siezures in me… GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES!

  111. Major Kong said,

    December 11, 2012 at 10:06

    Oh joy. I have a Fed riding with us tonight. Now my day is complete.

  112. Smut Clyde said,

    December 11, 2012 at 12:42

    exciting new recipes focusing on ways to cook insects & roadkill.
    GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.

  113. El Manquécito said,

    December 11, 2012 at 14:43

    GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.

    But…. it’s got to be rainin’ outside.

  114. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 15:58

    hmmm…just saw a segment on the weather channel about fish purveyors using ‘fishy’ selling practices..the old ‘bait and switch’ if you will…who would ever have thunk it?

  115. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 16:16

    PENIS

  116. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 16:25

    NIHILISM

  117. Katy Perry's Cameltoe said,

    December 11, 2012 at 16:36

    VAGINA

  118. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 16:38

    err, I mean VIRGIN MARY

  119. nipsen said,

    December 11, 2012 at 17:56

    …hold on.

    His actual name… his birthname.. is Lachlan Markey?

    And overcompensation for prejudice by being an as clever, soft-spoken and intelligent person as possible — just wasn’t involved somehow, was it..

  120. N__B said,

    December 11, 2012 at 17:57

    nipsen, I have two “words” for you: “Grover” “Norquist”.

  121. El Manquécito said,

    December 11, 2012 at 18:01

    Name-ists.

  122. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 18:04

    VAGINA

    hey, i know it was clearly labeled and all, but holy crap…a little warning?!?!

  123. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 18:04

    is Lachlan Markey?

    but my eyes keep reading ‘malarkey’…

  124. El Manquécito said,

    December 11, 2012 at 18:34

    Sometimes Another Kiwi has a sugar rush from too many Chocolate Hob-Nobs and puts everything in blink tags.

    I used to know a woman with a Hob-Nob problem, it’s no laughing matter.

  125. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 18:43

    hobbing the nob…

  126. Bigby said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:04

    Annnnd was this the top quote when I read this article?

    What kind of pills are these, anyways?! “For Smuckers”? “May cause panting and loss of fur”? These are dog pills!

    Sadly, no!

  127. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:16

    It’s not always easy to live up to your name. Lachlan’s parents might have thought of that before they placed the weight of their dreams on young Lachlan’s narrow and fragile shoulders. How could they know their aspirations of Scottish-ness, would harm their child so? Not everyone is built to toss a caber, some children don’t damp winters and grey summers of the highlands. Not everyone loves the constant steam engine repairing, the notorious cheapness and the long nights of sheep shearing lessons and the whiskey drinking. So when little Lachlan left home, to find his way in the world, can you really blame him for forging his own destiny and leaving the plaid ghetto of aspirational Scottishness? How was he to know when he studied poly sci that he would end up a talentless hack at a third rate wingnut welfare think tank? And maybe he is happy there, where he’ll never have to smell another haggis or pick burrs out of his kilt to the music of bagpipes.

  128. N__B said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:24

    Not everyone is built to toss a caber

    YOU LIE!

  129. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:34

    Is this fish evil, bbkf?
    ~

  130. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:45

    Everyone is built to toss a salad.

  131. Testing said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:47

    Jackdaws are universally dismissive of my undersized titmouse of quartz.

  132. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 11, 2012 at 19:49

    Did somebody say titmouse?
    ~

  133. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:08

    a little warning?!?!

    Warning: Vagina link contains actual vagina.

  134. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:09

    Is this fish evil, bbkf?

    no…just icky!

  135. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:15

    OMFG. Are there no limits to the tone deafness of pro-back-alley-abortion activists?

  136. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:25

    Did somebody say titmouse?

    Related: titcat

  137. bbkf said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:28

    Related: titcat

    wow…those are some…glasses…

  138. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:38

    Clouded Leopard.
    ~

  139. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 11, 2012 at 20:42

    OMFG. Are there no limits to the tone deafness of pro-back-alley-abortion activists?

    What next? Advocacy for capital gains tax cuts on packages of ramen noodles? Anti-affirmative action messages on rope?

  140. kg said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:12

    Advocacy for capital gains tax cuts on packages of ramen noodles?

    No, catfood.

  141. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:14

    Clouded Leopard

    That is a beautiful cat…

  142. Major Kong said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:34

    Ugh! Last night was painful.

    Our loading crew must have been the Junior Varsity squad because we were an hour late by the time we pushed back. Then we had a maintenance problem and had to go back to the gate get it fixed.

    We were a good hour and a half late getting to Huntington. Plus the aforementioned Fed riding along, although he seemed nice enough. Just have to make sure everything is by the book when one of those guys is on the plane.

  143. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:37

    Shorter Fat Tony: The state can discriminate against gays because homosexuality is immoral, just like murder.

    “It’s a form of argument that I thought you would have known, which is called the `reduction to the absurd,’” Scalia told Hosie of San Francisco during the question-and-answer period. “If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder? Can we have it against other things?”

    That’s not Reductio ad absurdum. And if it was, it would be used to argue against state regulation of gay marriage. What it is is false equivalence. Murder has victims; gay marriage does not. The man is a fucking neanderthal.

    No, wait, that’s not fair to H. neanderthalensis. He’s just an asshole. A well-educated bigot with no empathy or ability to think in any terms but applying a legal veneer to his unrepentant prejudices.

  144. bughunter said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:39

    Major – enlighten us on what kind of “Fed” rides on cargo flights, and why…

    Was he a FBI agent? A banking regulator? A park ranger?

  145. Major Kong said,

    December 11, 2012 at 21:44

    FAA inspector. We’re governed by the same regulations as the passenger carriers – F.A.R. Part 121.

  146. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 11, 2012 at 22:52

    Made some absolutely kick-ass moussaka last night. The leftovers made for an excellent lunch.

    That is all.

  147. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 12, 2012 at 1:04

    The moussaka kicked so much ass taht it killed the thread.

  148. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 12, 2012 at 1:06

    “that” — I blame wordpress and the moussaka, obviously.

  149. Major Kong said,

    December 12, 2012 at 1:21

    Where did you get the moose for the moossaka?

  150. bughunter said,

    December 12, 2012 at 1:37

    Colbert interviews Stewart at the Montclair Film Festival… headline on the target page is only part of the story… lots of interesting anecdotes also.

    No vaginas, I promise.

  151. VCarlson said,

    December 12, 2012 at 1:46

    Tony the Toad seems to feel his position grants him immunity from … just about anything that makes a civil society work, apparently with good reason. Same goes for his pal Sam the Slug.

    As usual, apologies to toads and slugs everywhere.

  152. Fenwick said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:03

    Rob Ford Existentialist Theatre

    Do they stage absurdist plays?

  153. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:18

    Møüssåkå.

  154. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:20

    Møøse bites kan be pretty nasti. Moussaka bites are delightful.

  155. bughunter said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:32

    moose for the moossaka

    That wasn’t Moose.

  156. A True Scotsman Worn Under the Kilt said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:42

    If that’s a moose, I’d surely hate to see a rat.

  157. Fenwick said,

    December 12, 2012 at 2:46

    Would that make the citrus beverage wrangler the Ting Tang wallah?

    Close. It’s the Wallah Bing Bang.

  158. Pupienus said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:05

    Moose sake is also nasti. It’s not _called_ moose sake but Blak Balzm or something.

  159. bbkf said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:18

    i am in the holiday spirit…come and look at my tree!

  160. Fenwick said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:19

    Oh joy. I have a Fed riding with us tonight. Now my day is complete.

    I think that’s great, Major! Because in all Action-Adventure Blockbusters, a Fed aboard an aircraft full of packages–what could be in them?!?!–means great aerial action stunt-flying of the most demanding and and courageous type! And you, sir, will become a Sensational Star overnight, nominated for, and awarded, the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

    ((Okay, that’s just stoopit. I get carried away with coffee and weed somethimes.))

    I hope your flight is completely dull and uneventful, with perfect flying conditions the whole way.

  161. bughunter said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:25

    Black Balsam? Egad. That stuff makes Jägermeister taste like kool-aid.

  162. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:34

    Yeah. When I was in Latvia or Estonia or wherever the fuk it was I actually liked Jäger. Not as much as I did in college but I still enjoyed a snort every now and then. I nearly ralphed when I drank that moose sake. It’s beyond nasti.

  163. Major Kong said,

    December 12, 2012 at 3:38

    I hope your flight is completely dull and uneventful

    Having an FAA inspector on the plane is kind of like going to the dentist – the best that can possibly happen is you break even.

    I try to do things by the book anyways. It’s just easier that way. Then even if someone is looking over my shoulder it doesn’t matter.

  164. Cerberus said,

    December 12, 2012 at 4:02

    New post.

  165. Smut Clyde said,

    December 12, 2012 at 4:20

    Moose sake is also nasti. It’s not _called_ moose sake but Blak Balzm or something.
    Substance McGravitas trigger alert!

  166. Another Kiwi said,

    December 12, 2012 at 9:08

    How do you put a moose inna bottle, then? Lure it in with moose nuts.

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