Dec
6

But I Was Just Funnin’ Him! Really!!




Posted at 20:47 by Tintin


ABOVE: K.T. McFarland, comedian and defense analyst

Roger Ailes is very, very mad at K.T. McFarland. So mad, in fact, that he ordered her into his office and dictated a column that she would have to write under her own name ‘splainin’ how that conversation she had for him with General Petraeus that was taped and leaked was just one big funny haha joke, just joshin’ around you know, and not to be taken seriously, even if K.T. did spend almost 13 minutes trying to convince Petraeus to run for President at Ailes’s behest. Of course, if you listen to the tape, and you’ve not been living somewhere on the rings of Saturn for most of your life, you will quickly realize how absurd it is for McFarland to claim that this was all just ribbin’ and joshin’ and funnin’ and none of it was meant seriously.

But to avoid your having to waste 15 minutes of your life listening to a sycophantic and obsequious K.T. plant big sloppy wet kisses all over Petraeus’s sagging face (there’s a brain bleach image for you!), here are the relevant parts of the transcript.

McFarland: I’ve got something to say to you, by the way, directly from Roger Ailes. … He says that if you’re offered chairman [of the Joint Chiefs of Staff], take it. If you’re offered anything else, don’t take it, resign in six months and run for president. Okay? And I know you’re not running for president. But at some point when you go to New York next, you may want to just chat with Roger. And Rupert Murdoch, for that matter.

Petraeus: Well … Well, Rupert’s after me, as well. …

Q: I’m only reporting this back to Roger. And that’s our deal. … So what do I tell Roger when he says …

Petraeus: Tell him I don’t… I mean, I don’t know what they’re going to offer me, anyway. I really don’t know.

Q: Okay. But there are only two. … So I can say something along the following lines …

Petraeus: Well, but don’t — that has to be off the record.

Q: There are potentially two jobs that you’d be interested in. His deal with me was that I was only supposed to talk to you.

Petraeus: Yeah, okay. …

Q. No, but can I just say that — can I just tell him what I’ve suggested, and that we’ve discussed …

Petraeus: Yeah, sure.

Q: … is that next time you go to New York you’re going to stop by and see him?

Petraeus: I’d be happy. I would love to see him. I haven’t seen him in a while, so …

Q: I think he would very much appreciate the conversation.

Petraeus: I would love to see. … Yeah. He’s a brilliant guy.

Q: He is simply brilliant. I don’t know if you’ve ever …

Petraeus: He is. Tell him if I ever ran [laughs] but I won’t …

Q: Okay, I know. I know.

Petraeus: But if I ever ran, I’d take him up on his offer.

Q: Okay. All right.

Petraeus: He said he would quit Fox.

Q: I know. Look, he’s not the only one.

Petraeus: And bankroll it.

Q: Bankroll it? [Laughs]

Petraeus: Or maybe I’m confusing that with Rupert.

K.T., if that is your idea of jes’ jokin’ around, don’t quit your day job, such as it is, to go into stand up. Because, frankly, that conversation is about as funny as watching kittens explode in a microwave. Of course, the absolutely most hilarious part is K.T. pressing Petraeus for an answer that she can take back to Ailes. If you actually listen to the transcript, you’ll hear them rolling on the floor and peeing in their pants at the humor of it all.

I realize conspiracy theorists have used this off-the-record interview to claim it was some plot to put Petraeus in the Oval Office. But it was little more than one defense analyst (me) trading some political gossip and laughs with one of the country’s most important military leaders (Petraeus).

No, K.T., sweet T., that’s not what anyone’s claiming. This interview is simply proof (as if more proof were needed) that Fox isn’t a real news organization. Nobody believes Roger Ailes or Rupert Murdoch could make anyone President. Their last effort certainly wasn’t what I’d call a roaring success.

376 Comments »

  1. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:54

    I really don’t understand why they keep bothering to pretend they’re a “news” organization. Does anybody believe that anymore?

  2. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:56

    And further, it’s pretty obvious that there are no consequences to them being the defacto media arm of the RNC. The public couldn’t care less, the rest of the media doesn’t seem to mind. Why keep up the facade?

  3. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:58

    ias funny as watching kittens explode in a microwave.

    DONT JUDGE ME!

  4. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 6, 2012 at 20:59

    peeing in their pants at the humor of it all.

    I’d pay to see that.

  5. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:05

    I don’t understand why Ailes is so upset about this. Wouldn’t he welcome some proof that someone, somewhere, at some time, thought of him as a kingmaker?

  6. Another Kiwi said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:08

    little more than one defense analyst (me) trading some political gossip and laughs with one of the country’s most important military leaders (Petraeus). as we all have done. You know, joshing around with extremely powerful folks, giving them messages from other powerful folks about being the president. Goodtimes my friends.

  7. Pupienus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:15

    GOOD NEWS! Google is selling Nexus 7s with HSPA – just bought one for Teh Ho. I suspect their stock was sitting just offshore last week.

  8. N__B said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:20

    I know what a Ho is, but the rest of that is gibberish.

  9. blowback said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:20

    “has turned into a firestorm of speculation and an attempt to denigrate Fox”

    Is it actually possible to denigrate Fox? I think not.

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:34

    But to avoid your having to waste 15 minutes of your life listening to a sycophantic and obsequious K.T. plant big sloppy wet kisses all over Petraeus’s sagging face (there’s a brain bleach image for you!),

    THAT’S NOT HIS FACE!!!! Now, there’s a brain bleach image for you!

  11. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:40

    K.T. hasn’t had to walk the Planck (yet)…not like Toe Suck and Turdblossom.
    ~

  12. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:41

    a firestorm of speculation
    If your speculation melts glass and asphalt and creates updrafts strong enough to form a tornado, with a death toll in the tens of thousands, you are probably doing it wrong.

  13. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:42

    I know what a Ho is, but the rest of that is gibberish.
    I speak fluent Gibberish, and I can tell you that Pupienus’ accent is terrible.

  14. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 21:59

    Perhaps those same conspiracy theorists should ask themselves some different questions: Why was an audiotape created of what was supposed to be an off-the-record interview with just four people in the room, which General Petraeus himself said several times was off the record? I certainly saw no recording device, nor did I give my permission for the interview to be taped. So who taped the interview? Why did they keep it hidden away for the past 18 months? Why was it released at this time to a Washington Post reporter? That is surely more interesting than two people, neither of them politicians, joking around about the presidential campaign. Indeed, this is why they call it the silly season.

    oh, my…yes…it’s silly! it’s all so, so silly! anyhoo, no, k.t…not more interesting…not even a difficult question to answer: it would likely be the same covert ops you and d.p. were ‘joshing’ about! and we’re supposed to believe this woman is a credible anything?!?! good god…they really aren’t even trying anymore, are they?

  15. Major Kong said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:02

    From the last thread:

    When’s Major Kong gonna include a URL in the nym?

    I’m open to suggestions. I may be the last person on the planet without their own blog and I’m not sure I want unwanted guests on my facebook page.

    Keep in mind that I work for a large, very conservative corporation and I don’t want them tracking down any labor-related statements I might make on the internet. I know for a fact that our management trolls airlinepilotcentral.

  16. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:02

    is it only me, or does anybody else find this exchange to be a bit off-putting?

    Petraeus: My wife would divorce me.

    Q: Right.

    Petraeus: And I love my wife.

    Q: Tell her it’s a beautiful house.

    Petraeus: We have a beautiful house. [Laughter] With his-and-her’s bathrooms, believe it or not. I just want to live in it. I’ve never spent a night in it.

    Q: I know, that’s the happiest marriage .?.?.

    Petraeus: Keep your mitts off my dressing room.

    Q: My husband and I have had a very long and happy relationship because we have completely separate bathrooms.

    Petraeus: Isn’t that .?.?. I mean, that’s the ticket.

    Q: It’s great.

    you know, i read an article about petraeus quite a ways back in ye old vanity faire and was rather impressed with him as a person…what’s that saying about fool me once? yeah, i’m just going to not like any public personage again…and dammit, kate middleton is going to be hard for me to get over…

  17. bbkf said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:04

    Keep in mind that I work for a large, very conservative corporation and I don’t want them tracking down any labor-related statements I might make on the internet. I know for a fact that our management trolls airlinepilotcentral.

    cheers, major…you can always use the kt mcfarland defense: i was only joking! jeez…don’t get all up in my shiz about it! haha jklol!

  18. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:06

    I’m open to suggestions. I may be the last person on the planet without their own blog and I’m not sure I want unwanted guests on my facebook page.

    What about your Kos diary page?

  19. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:10

    Major Kong,

    B^4 stole my comment.
    ~

  20. wiley said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:11

    Petraeus couldn’t get a break on Iraq from the NYT. Boo hoo. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

    He doesn’t appear to be all that bright. If he had spent more time earning a legacy than trying to get people to make one up for him perhaps he would have a better legacy than the mistress/the crazy lady/the shirtless FBI guy clown of a legacy.

  21. frederated said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:12

    Why was an audiotape created of what was supposed to be an off-the-record interview with just four people in the room, which General Petraeus himself said several times was off the record?

    Back in the day we used to call this a “Party Tape.”

  22. bughunter said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:23

    I may be the last person on the planet without their own blog

    No. You’re not. At least not until I create one, and I’m a committed procrastinator.

  23. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:24

    little more than one defense analyst (me) trading some political gossip and laughs with one of the country’s most important military leaders (Petraeus).

    Good thing McFarland specified who that military leader was in that sentence. For a second there, I thought she was talking about Cap’n Crunch.

  24. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:26

    No. You’re not. At least not until I create one, and I’m a committed procrastinator.

    I’d read the hell out of your bug blog!

  25. Major Kong said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:28

    What about your Kos diary page?

    Good idea. Thanks.

  26. bughunter said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:32

    Airmen, hide your Ridgid Tools calendars!

    Commanders and supervisors in all corners of the Air Force will conduct a widespread sweep of all work spaces and public areas starting today, looking for pictures, calendars and other materials that objectify women.

    .

  27. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:35

    Airmen, hide your Ridgid Tools calendars!

    There’s a joke in there somewhere about where seamen hide their rigid tools. Can’t be arsed to look for it.

  28. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:39

    Why was an audiotape created of what was supposed to be an off-the-record interview with just four people in the room, which General Petraeus himself said several times was off the record?

    So now it requires a *conspiracy* for the Murdoch Media to violate journalistic ethics, and to tape off-the-record conversations to save any disclosures for leverage later?

    Elsewhere, Ailes accepts that she *was* passing on a message from him, and notes the lack of frivolity in the conversation:

    In a telephone interview Monday, the wily and sharp-tongued Ailes said he did indeed ask McFarland to make the pitch to Petraeus. “It was more of a joke, a wiseass way I have,” he said. “I thought the Republican field [in the primaries] needed to be shaken up and Petraeus might be a good candidate.”

    Ailes added, “It sounds like she thought she was on a secret mission in the Reagan administration. .?.?. She was way out of line. .?.?. It’s someone’s fantasy to make me a kingmaker. It’s not my job.” He said that McFarland was not an employee of Fox but a contributor paid less than $75,000 a year.

  29. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:42

    Commanders and supervisors in all corners of the Air Force will conduct a widespread sweep of all work spaces and public areas starting today, looking for pictures, calendars and other materials that objectify women.

    They can pry my Cofanifunebri calendar out of my hands when I’m moldering in my Cofanifunebri coffin!!!

  30. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:46

    They can pry my Cofanifunebri calendar out of my hands when I’m moldering in my Cofanifunebri coffin!!!

    Something about stiffs.

  31. Another Kiwi said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:47

    a contributor paid less than $75,000 a year.
    The poor thing, on the bones of her arse.

  32. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 22:55

    she thought she was on a secret mission in the Reagan administration

    Amusing, though, how Ailes accepts that the Reagan administration is a subject for derision and the proper comparison if you want to accuse someone of self-delusive incompetence.

  33. Major Kong said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:02

    Airmen, hide your Ridgid Tools calendars!

    We have to portray a wholesome family image while we’re bombing neighborhoods into rubble.

  34. tigris said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:07

    I would think there’d be lots of interest in a calendar of airmen’s rigid tools.

  35. DAS said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:16

    I really don’t understand why they keep bothering to pretend they’re a “news” organization. Does anybody believe that anymore? – OBS

    Sadly, Yes! I know people who believe this: the same people who will espouse positions well to the left of anything Obama’s ever espoused, but who will then claim Obama is a “socialist anti-Zionist” or some such. IOW, people who are tribally Republican and won’t budge an inch based on any actual evidence or reasoning

    I speak fluent Gibberish, and I can tell you that Pupienus’ accent is terrible. – Smut Clyde

    When I was a kid, I couldn’t settle for just having an imaginary friend, so I made up a whole country (as did my brother — instead of having sibling fights, our nations were locked in a protracted cold war with other made up nations being satellites engaged in proxy-wars): my country was named Gibberland (with a hard G), so they spoke … Gibberish (again, with a hard G).

    Gibberish is a Romance language (but unlike real Romance languages, it was derived from Julius Caesar era Latin) with heavy borrowings from the language of the Angles and a vaguely Altaic substratum. The accent kind of sounds vaguely Welsh.

  36. bughunter said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:17

    Gee, it turns out that letting your wingnut CEO publicly spew willfully-misinformed vitriol is horrible for brand perception.

    Especially when your product is a staple of stoners, students, single working parents, and in general, people who would most benefit from a strong universal healthcare program.

    Quelle surprise!

  37. smut clyde said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:24

    I would think there’d be lots of interest in a calendar of airmen’s rigid tools.

    Great, the USAF has another source of income to pay for the next bomber — not just cake stalls any more.

  38. Pryme said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:30

    I had a childhood once…but between remakes and reboots and adaptations and creepy revelations, it’s just…gone.

  39. El Manquécito said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:32

    cake stalls

    Bake sales. Speak ingrish.

  40. bughunter said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:33

    cake stalls

    I expect they all stall. Cakes have terrible aerodynamic lift…

  41. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:51

    where seamen hide their rigid tools. Can’t be arsed to look for it.

    ISWYDT. Do you?

  42. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:54

    Shorter McFartland: I meant to do that.

  43. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 6, 2012 at 23:58

    What about your Kos diary page?

    I just assumed this was what Substance was referring to.

  44. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:04

    ISWYDT. Do you?

    Yes, I was starting to worry that I was being too subtle though.

  45. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:05

    From bighunter’s link:
    to a remarkably low score of 4 among adults who have eaten at causal dining restaurants during the past month.

    They did not survey any Catholics?

  46. Whale Chowder said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:10

    I would think there’d be lots of interest in a calendar of airmen’s rigid tools.

    Having grown up in a Navy air base town, I’m willing to state that most airmen are rigid tools.

    Present Kongs excepted, of course.

  47. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:15

    I had a childhood once…but between remakes and reboots and adaptations and creepy revelations, it’s just…gone.

    Good grief!

  48. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:16

    I’m willing to state that most airmen are rigid tools.

    We certainly had more than our fair share of them.

    We used to say that all the good ones got out because the tools were running the place, which just left more tools to run the place.

  49. bughunter said,

    December 7, 2012 at 0:30

    Fun quiz from Buzzfeed, on which I totally failed: Real Headline or The Onion Headline?

    I need to read The Onion more often…

  50. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 7, 2012 at 1:02

    I passed, but barely, and a lot of the ones I got right were ones that I actually remembered.

  51. eataTREE said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:31

    I got a Gentleman’s C (14/20). The thing is you never know which section of a real publication the headline comes from: The Onion is not the only publication that is allowed to be kidding.

  52. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:32

    Q: My husband and I have had a very long and happy relationship because we have completely separate bathrooms.

    Petraeus: Isn’t that .?.?. I mean, that’s the ticket.

    Petraeus is one of these crack-o-dawn shit-shower-and-a-shave men, a “drop your cocks and grab your socks” type, so having a broad around ruins that barracks feel.

  53. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:36

    What standard are you using for “passed”? I got 12/20.

  54. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:37

    When I was a kid, I couldn’t settle for just having an imaginary friend, so I made up a whole country [...] named Gibberland (with a hard G), so they spoke … Gibberish (again, with a hard G).

    So far so good. Now describe for me the finest ladies of Gibberland. They are “brick houses,” no?

  55. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:40

    15/20 here. I’m guessing it’s hard to crack 16 in this crazy old world.

  56. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 2:46

    I got 13/20. I hope we’re grading on a curve.

  57. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:09

    I got 12/20.

    Same. 50% is a pass where I come from. US and Canadian schools seem to have different grading systems.

  58. Management Troll said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:26

    I know for a fact that our management trolls airlinepilotcentral.

    That’s a lie!

    mumblemumblemumble

    I mean, hello, my name is Mr. Bimmler. How today you are doing? Cardiff has historically been a part of the Hwwynnhhnynynhmfyn Region..

  59. paleotectonics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:30

    It sounds like she thought she was on a secret mission in the Reagan administration.

    At times, so did Reagan.

  60. Old Kris Kringle said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:34

    I’m the King of Jingaling!

  61. Hermie the Misfit Elf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:36

    Someday I’d like to be a dentist.

  62. paleotectonics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:36

    Petraeus is one of these crack-o-dawn shit-shower-and-a-shave men, a “drop your cocks and grab your socks” type, so having a broad around ruins that barracks feel.

    If I may, I am a technician, and I noticed that needed fixing.

  63. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:41

    Thursday? Fuck a bunch of Thursday.
    .

  64. Young Rudolph said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:44

    I’m cute, I’m cute! She said I’m cuuuute!

  65. Yukon Cornelius said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:52

    Wahooooooo!!!!

    Nuthin.

  66. Bad Santa said,

    December 7, 2012 at 3:59

    It’s fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I’m out on my ass.

  67. N__B said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:09

    Mrs Santa’s sister ain’t gonna shit right for a week.

  68. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:10

    Congress is now officially the world’s home for theater of the absurd. Mitch McConnell today filibustered himself.

  69. N__B said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:15

    When I filibuster myself in public, I always claim my keys got twisted in my pocket.

  70. bughunter said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:44

    Congress is now officially the world’s home for theater of the absurd .

    My favorite Yurtle the Turtle headline is from Raw Story:

    Democrats Watch In Awe as McConnell Filibusters Himself

  71. Really Bad Santa said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:50

    Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

  72. Really Bad Santa said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:56

    Shorter Dana Perino: Battered wives are self-abusers.

    Perhaps she thinks “battered women” are like corn dogs?

  73. bughunter said,

    December 7, 2012 at 4:57

    Crap. I’ll never learn.

  74. tigris said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:10

    When I filibuster myself in public, I always claim my keys got twisted in my pocket.

    Does it take 60 people to make you stop?

  75. N__B said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:19

    Depends on the fantasy I’m blocking from a floor vote.

  76. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:33

    Crap. I’ll never learn.</i

    It comes naturally to most of us. I suggest consulting a medical professional.

  77. Pupienus Maximus said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:42

    Fag tail. Or tag fail. Whatever makes your socks go up and down.

  78. Thread Bear said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:55

    Ann Coulter talks sense. She started out in the wingnut zone, but somehow she slipped back into reality for a bit. The world really is coming to an end.

  79. Another Kiwi said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:56

    Gravity makes my socks go up and down. How does that work?

  80. Nym said,

    December 7, 2012 at 5:59

    She started out in the wingnut zone, but somehow she slipped back into reality for a bit.

    Blind pig, acorn, you know the drill.

  81. Bill O'Reilly said,

    December 7, 2012 at 6:07

    Gravity makes my socks go up and down.

    Can’t explain that.

  82. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 6:43

    “Petraeus is one of these crack-o-dawn shit-shower-and-a-shave men, a “drop your cocks and grab your socks” type, so having a broad around ruins that barracks feel.“–Paleotectonics

    I’m not precisely sure what you’re saying, but I sense that your reverence for TMCP is negligible.

  83. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 7, 2012 at 6:56

    Thursday? Fuck a bunch of Thursday.

    Since Thursday is my Monday: AMEN BROTHER! TESTIFY!

  84. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 8:50

    Is Thursday HAWT? Is a bunch of Thursday HAWTER? Cos, I’d nail that.

  85. Fenwick said,

    December 7, 2012 at 10:12

    “…trading some political gossip and laughs with one of the country’s most important military leaders.”

    Joking around, was it? As I understand it, Bob Woodward has an audio recording of the conversation. Shouldn’t be hard to find all the ‘laughs’ on it, most especially McFarland’s. And most especially as she makes the pitch to Petraeus on behalf of Ailes/Murdoch. I’m expecting much giggling and hilarity on the recording. (Actually, it IS hilarious indeed….)

  86. Fenwick said,

    December 7, 2012 at 10:51

    I went 10 / 10. I’m ashamed. I haven’t been as religious with Onion as I used to be. Must get back to the weekly check-in.

  87. Fenwick said,

    December 7, 2012 at 10:53

    Okay, everybody is using a different format, so I went 10 of 20. I’m and baseball guy. Ten wins and ten losses is usually expressed as ’10-and-10′

  88. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 12:17

    I’m expecting much giggling and hilarity on the recording.

    Theirs is a dry humor. Look for wry smiles on either end.

  89. John Waldron said,

    December 7, 2012 at 12:49

    Here’s the problem: Fox News is like a serial killer, they keep plying their deadly trade until they get good and efficient at it…that is what is scary!

  90. kg said,

    December 7, 2012 at 14:28

    Gravity makes my socks go up and down. How does that work?

    Gravity Falls!

  91. kg said,

    December 7, 2012 at 14:29

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ltJnhoTKZ4

    drat!

  92. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:03

    oh, sweet tittyfucking jesus…i logged onto fb this morning to see a person i have always regarded as intelligent ‘liking’ the central mn tea party’s status:

    Let me reword the post from Dec. 2. The UN backed Agenda 21 Nazi’s are coming to St. Cloud to take away your property rights under the guise of protecting the environment. You need to get angry, show up and cast your vote or more of your rights will disappear! Show up at the Stearns County Service Center- 3301 County Road 138, Waite Park at 5:30PM. This is the real deal folks. You need to be heard- Our founding fathers would roll over in the graves if they could see this. Pass the word and share this!

    aaaargh…my status (which may or may not be as entertaining as the one relaying mine and hubbkf’s conversation about a holiday candle that smelled like pee) is now ‘what is it about non-binding u.n. resolutions that make people lose their shit?’

    i will quietly await the shitstorm…

  93. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:09

    The poor thing, on the bones of her arse.

    colbert made much humor out of the fact that she’s only $75 large…i swear, i probably would be as batshit crazy as a winger (except on the other side of the spectrum) if it weren’t for stewart and colbert…

  94. Austin Loomis said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:17

    In comments on the RawStory post linked by bughunter, one transformer1 said something I’ve been thinking for a while:

    McConnell was heard to have said “help Mr. Wizard!”.

    “I don’t wanna be a Senate Minority Leader no more! Mister Wizaaaaaard!

  95. Austin Loomis said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:21

    In her Facehuggerbook status, bbkf asks:

    what is it about non-binding u.n. resolutions that make people lose their shit?

    It’s the UN, which (as any fule kno) is at best the means by which the International Communist Conspiracy will establish their One-World Government and at worst the means by which the Antichrist will ditto. (Then again, to these particular fules, “International Communist Conspiracy” vs. “Antichrist” is a case of tomato vs. tomahto.)

  96. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:28

    yes, austin, i believe you have nailed it…i m hoping to see somebody actually admit it…

  97. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 7, 2012 at 16:47

    bbkf, you better friend me on Facebook.

    Sweet christ, I just typed that sentence. I am contributing to the decline of civilization.

  98. tigris said,

    December 7, 2012 at 17:03

    Our founding fathers would roll over in the graves if they could see this.

    They’d also 1) wonder what this far-seeing glow box was in their coffin and 2) scream to be rescued.

  99. El Manquécito said,

    December 7, 2012 at 17:18

    Can’t you see Geo Washington’s FB page, with the sidebar ads for hatchets, cherry trees, false teeth, new hemp strains, pre-fab slave cabins and wigs?

  100. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 17:45

    bbkf, you better friend me on Facebook.

    fo shizzle!

  101. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 17:53

    well, i’ll be dipped! geo washington DOES have a facebook page! lots of geo lovin’ over there…funniest thing i saw: pic of geo with a quote on it…first comment is: Out of all the fonts in the world, Comic Sans?!

  102. CRA said,

    December 7, 2012 at 18:20

    It’s the UN, which (as any fule kno) is at best the means by which the International Communist Conspiracy will establish their One-World Government and at worst the means by which the Antichrist will ditto.

    The Antichrist will surely make heavy, dire use of the expression “ditto.”

  103. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 18:36

    gross…today is hearing aid friday in my building, so i have a lot of olds wandering around and talking loudly…right now there’s an old dude who literally JUST peed…and is now wandering the hallway shouting that he better GO AGAIN BECAUSE TOO MUCH COFFEE…WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH COFFEE!

  104. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 7, 2012 at 19:00

    Friday? Now we’re talkin’. Payday, stuck at the plant. Working on the Xbox float.
    .

  105. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 19:18

    Friday? Now we’re talkin’

    right?! i don’t have to work this weekend…it’s snowing now with more on the way and i am looking forward to slapping on some lounge wear and not leaving my house until monday morning…

    …unless there’s drinking involved…i could be persuaded to put on clothes and comb my hair if there are drinks on the other side of it…

  106. N__B said,

    December 7, 2012 at 19:36

    bbkf is running naked through the thread Minnesota!

  107. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 19:53

    bbkf is running naked through the thread Minnesota pee!

  108. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:07

    The ever helpful Portland Police Bureau is helpful.

  109. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:16

    The ever helpful Portland Police Bureau is helpful.

    ‘if it goes high in the air, or gets you high, you should probably use it in the evergreen state.’ that’s awesome, right there…

  110. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:18

    bbkf is running naked through the thread Minnesota!

    we obviously have different ideas of what constitutes ‘lounge wear’…

  111. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:33

    Loungerie.

  112. tigris said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:40

    loungera, loungerie, loungera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

  113. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 7, 2012 at 20:55

    I love to go a-loungering upon a comfy couch
    and as I lounge I sing this song …la la la… word that rhymes with couch

    loungera, loungerie, loungera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

  114. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:01

    I love to go a-loungering upon a comfy couch
    and as I lounge I sing this song …la la la… word that rhymes with couch

    loungera, loungerie, loungera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

    images of dame edna…

  115. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:20

    I’m in Winnipeg, where the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra meets…….the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra.

  116. Bill O'Reilly said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:21

    Chaising the longue.

  117. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:26

    Ah Winterpeg, home of the Coldest Intersection in Canada.

  118. Bill O'Reilly said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:30

    First Family To Attend Charity Concert With Performance By ‘Gangnam Style’ Rapper.

    Jeeves, stock up on popcorn and set the TV to Faux.

  119. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:30

    I’m in Winnipeg, where the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra meets…….the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra.

    good lord, you aren’t wearing your ass-less chaps are you?

  120. Pupienus said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:30

    fuck.

  121. Another Kiwi said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:35

    Forgetful-ee, forgetful- ah
    With Billo on his back

  122. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:41

    Poor Portage and Main, another victim of prairie urban planning. There’s no reason to be there.

  123. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 7, 2012 at 21:53

    Although in Winterpeg’s defense, bucking recent Canoodlian trends – they still have a mayor.

  124. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:05

    ,,,they still have a mayor.

    Geez, just looked it up. Apparently they still have a mayor for now.

  125. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:06

    FYWP. Here’s the linkee:

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/story/2012/11/26/mb-rob-ford-winnipeg-reax-katz-mayor.html

  126. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:11

    He kicks children in the face.

  127. smut clyde said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:12

    TOO MUCH COFFEE…WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH COFFEE!
    No such thing.

    The poor thing, on the bones of her arse.
    colbert made much humor out of the fact that she’s only $75 large

    When your witty badinage centres upon the right number of bathrooms for a two-person mansion, you do open yourself to the accusation of being ‘out-of-touch’.

  128. El Manquécito said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:14

    Winterpeg: a. character in pron “Treasure Island”

    or, 2. AI in Neuromancer slash-fic

    or, III. condition resulting from wearing assless chaps in Alberta

  129. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:16

    good lord, you aren’t wearing your ass-less chaps are you?

    Wouldn’t chaps be ass-less by definition? I mean, if they covered your ass, wouldn’t they be pants?

  130. tigris said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:19

    He kicks children in the face.

    That was awesome. No one will call HIM a fat fuck*!

    *Also because he’s skinny.

  131. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:21

    Wouldn’t chaps be ass-less by definition? I mean, if they covered your ass, wouldn’t they be pants?

    quit being such a pants pedant!

  132. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:23

    This from the person who was running naked through Minnesota earlier today.

  133. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:24

    unlike men, wimmen can appreciate the ‘firming’ qualities brisk air can have on a body…

  134. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:25

    He kicks children in the face.

    That was awesome. No one will call HIM a fat fuck*!

    face kicking is sorely missing in american political ads…

  135. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:33

    He kicks children in the face.

    I LOLed. Loudly and longly.

  136. Pupienus said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:35

    face kicking junkpunching is sorely missing in american political ads…

  137. smut clyde said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:37

    quit being such a pants pedant!

    You can’t have pedants without pants and an editor.

  138. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:38

    I have decided that the Republican party is basically Drunk Uncle but not endearing or funny.

    First person to say that SNL hasn’t been funny since 19__ dies.

  139. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:54

    First person to say that SNL hasn’t been funny since 19__ dies.

    I wouldn’t know. I’m only up that late if I’m working. Haven’t watched it in many years.

  140. daphne said,

    December 7, 2012 at 22:58

    This is the main legacy of DeMint’s eight-year Senate career. In the past two election cycles, DeMint’s fingerprints have been on some of the most significant and fateful GOP primary results. In some instances, like the 2010 Kentucky race that helped bring Rand Paul to the Senate, he succeeded in elevating a fellow traveler and bending the Senate that much closer to his far-right absolutism. But in others, his efforts backfired, producing fundamentally unelectable candidates (think Christine O’Donnell) who lost seats the GOP would otherwise have won.

  141. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:18

    I have decided that the Republican party is basically Drunk Uncle but not endearing or funny.

    ‘is that what you think, one direction?’

  142. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:19

    so…what did demin try and do?

  143. Dr.KennethNoisewater said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:24

    ‘is that what you think, one direction?’

    Spotify me! Spotify me!

  144. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:25

    oooops…typo…what did deminT try and do?

  145. bbkf said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:26

    Spotify me! Spotify me!

    hey siri…why’d ya give my job to a chinaman?

  146. Pearl-clutching Southern Belle Wingnut said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:46

    Oh, mah vapors! That Mooslim Nigrah in the White Hay-owse is ah-tendin’ a concert by that yella fella with that indecent sawng about gaing culture that so many yaingkees an’ lib-rals love so much. And that chinamahn is an Ah-merican hatin’ soldier-killin’ commie who wrahts sawngs about killin’ our soldiers. It just proves that Obama haeets Ah-mericans and is a comminist. Ah know, ‘cuz ah rayed it on Twichey.

  147. bughunter said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:50

    See, it’s funny because some of the most outwardly rancorous bigoteds I’ve ever met were prim and proper elderly southern women whose manner was sickly-sweet until their racist values were offended, at which times they’d shock you with their blind hatred and intolerance.

  148. bughunter said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:51

    bigots, even.

  149. Major Kong said,

    December 7, 2012 at 23:55

    That was my experience too bughunter.

    1. Polite does not necessarily equal nice.

    2. If you were an asshole when you were young, getting older doesn’t usually improve anything.

  150. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:05

    P.S. How long until somebody subtitles “Gangnam Style” with what he’s really saying?

    uhhhh…they already have, jackass…

  151. bughunter said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:15

    Here’s an older Twitchy thread where the premise is that Psy will perform at the White House. The comments are laden with as many mangoes as any American Stinker thread… but bite sized.

    Like mango chutney. But made with stupidity and hate.

  152. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:17

    he main legacy of DeMint’s eight-year Senate career

    I’m betting there are a lot of Senators who are overjoyed to see the son of a bitch leave, and not all of them are Democrats.

  153. bughunter said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:24

    P.P.S. So far he’s made over $8 million from the song, about $3 million of it from the people he once wanted to kill.

    Sadly, no. He never wanted to kill Americans, he just wrote a song about killing torturers, and the criminals who enabled them.

    The vast majority of that $8M came from people who never tortured anyone, and I’d say more than half of them believe that torturers should be punished to some degree…

    Even more, most of the red state Romney voters have at one time or another pretended to kill “Yankees,” who are Americans no matter how the word is defined. So let’s demonize them, as well.

  154. tigris said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:28

    he just wrote a song about killing torturers, and the criminals who enabled them.

    Wasn’t even his song, he was singing along with the band whose song it is.linky

  155. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:34

    omg…teh all powerful gheys!!! (from the twitchy link):

    Ellen has become blinded with her own wealth and the bubble of power she lives within.

  156. bughunter said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:35

    Wow. This is the first time I’ve poked around Twitchy.

    It’s stupid, projection, and IOKIYAR concentrated into the wingnut equivalent of neutronium.

  157. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:40

    <i.Wow. This is the first time I’ve poked around Twitchy.

    It’s stupid, projection, and IOKIYAR concentrated into the wingnut equivalent of neutronium.

    right? i’ve been sitting here pondering on how it’s a-okay for them to be all hateful about muslims and other furriners practicing their voodoo religion and taking our jobs…but when south koreans don’t want our military in their country, that’s heinous?

    i do wish i were clever enough to leave an irrefutable comment to that effect over there, but alas, i am not and it would do no good…i just fucking HATE that twitchys and fox newses and daily callers can pull this kind of shit and not get called on it…they bitch about the lamestream media never getting whacked for anything…wtf…

  158. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 0:40

    that’s the tagfail of outrage right there, people…

  159. tigris said,

    December 8, 2012 at 1:06

    i’ve been sitting here pondering on how it’s a-okay for them to be all hateful about muslims and other furriners practicing their voodoo religion and taking our jobs…but when south koreans don’t want our military in their country, that’s heinous?

    It’s OK if you’re American?

  160. bughunter said,

    December 8, 2012 at 1:58

    More subconscious truth-telling, this time buried under a dogwhistle headline, from Morris the Dick:

    The question: Why did fewer whites turn out for Romney in ’12 than for McCain in ’08?

    The answer lies in the fundamental strategic mistake the Romney campaign and the super PACs made in June and July — of not answering Obama’s Bain Capital attacks.

    These withering attacks undermined Romney’s standing among white voters and led directly to their diminished turnout.

    Once you peel the onion, past the layers of “OMG Teh Blacks Voted!” and past “OMG Teh Media Worshipped teh NiggMuslim’s Hurricane Response,” and past “OMG Obama Attacked Romney’s Bain Record” it came down to this, and he knows it:

    Romney’s a corporate sociopath. And people knew it. At least enough of them did. And since they didn’t have a candidate to vote for, they stayed home.

    Or even shorter: You picked a shitty candidate.

    But then, GOP voters had nothing but a field full of cowpatties to choose from in the primaries, so it’s no big surprise that they picked the least smelly, least slimy dried puddle of shit to fling for distance and no big surprise that when they stepped up to the line they were too grossed out to put enough effort into it to beat the team with the 170G disc golf driver.

  161. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 8, 2012 at 2:04

    There’s an unnecessary comma in daphne’s post. Tsk.

  162. Whale Chowder said,

    December 8, 2012 at 2:07

    …they picked the least smelly, least slimy dried puddle of shit to fling for distance…

    That would have been Huntsman who was actually at least sane. Which is why the Base dropped him like a hot potato(e).

  163. Smut Clyde said,

    December 8, 2012 at 2:17

    GOP voters had nothing but a field full of cowpatties to choose from in the primaries

    This is why they should let Roger Ailes appoint ex-generals as their candidate instead.

  164. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 8, 2012 at 2:44

    You picked a shitty candidate.

    I continue to be amused at the reichwhingers failure to understand why they got their collective (heh) ass kicked. Jim deMint was heard on NPR repeating the chorus of “we didn’t sell our ideas well enough.”

    Dear conservatives, you’ve been trying to polish turds all along. You lost because a majority of people have realized that what you have been selling as gold, which you thought were polished turds, was in fact diarrhea all along. You can’t polish that. You can’t put icing on it.

    I’m not complaining, mind you. I take it a a good sign, indicative of their continued blindness and inevitable swirl down the drain.

  165. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 2:57

    you have such a way with POOP, sirrah…

  166. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 8, 2012 at 3:05

    Twitchy is concentrated Malkintentism.
    ~

  167. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 8, 2012 at 3:06

    Can’t you see Geo Washington’s FB page, with the sidebar ads for hatchets, cherry trees, false teeth, new hemp strains, pre-fab slave cabins and wigs?

    Not only wigs but wigs for wigs.

  168. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 3:14

    Not only wigs but wigs for wigs.

    for no odd reason, that reminds me of this…

  169. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 8, 2012 at 3:31

    Hahaha, John Wayne’s Teeth rocks.
    ~

  170. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 3:40

    instead of POOP, here’s some PEE…

  171. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 4:12

    I made it through this week, spending far too many hours working on an Xbox parade float, I might add.

    Which adds to my general irritability.
    .

  172. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 8, 2012 at 4:48

    Gotta love Eed Asner! Why the extra E? funny you should ask!

  173. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:00

    Now, hold my beer and watch this!
    .
    .

  174. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:03

    Gotta love Eed Asner! Why the extra E? funny you should ask!

    oh, well done, sir…well done…

  175. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:04

    I made it through this week, spending far too many hours working on an Xbox parade float, I might add.

    why are you building an xbox parade float? did i miss something?

  176. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:06

    Hahaha, John Wayne’s Teeth rocks.

    That whole movie was great- my favorite scene was the story about the fry bread.

  177. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:14

    Via a linkee inside DKW’s ‘Portland & Main’ link (far upthread). I found a Canadian Monopoly board.

  178. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:14

    That whole movie was great- my favorite scene was the story about the fry bread.

    that movie is one of my all-timers…when i was a substitute teacher i had a little guy in one of my classes named victor…i was always amused by saying, ‘hey victor…’ he was less amused…probably mostly because he was a ‘victor’ in a crowd of ethans, skylers, jacobs and what have yous…

    also, too…adam beach…i’ll be in my bunk…

  179. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:35

    We liberated South Korea as we liberated Iraq, through the services and sacrifices of our strong and heroic military members. — mango from the Comments at Twitchy.

    [submitted without comment]

  180. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:36

    I’m so far behind this thread that I’ll never ketchup.

  181. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:36

    I’m in Winnipeg, where the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra meets…….the ass-biting cold of the Canadian tundra.

    (harp) (fog)

    Nostalgia of being circa 22 & doin’ the hardcore motherfucker Punk Machismo thang inna Saskatoon stylee: hangin’ with the Punker Posse for our sacred Saturday coffee ritual at ye olde Country Style cafe, & thus by necessity schlepping around downtown in a blizzard so bad that there was no way to tell if you were walking on the sidewalk or the street … & you couldn’t see car headlights until they were about three yards away. We poor pedestrians were bouncing from store to store like hypothermic ping-pong balls, causing little snowdrifts to form inside said stores around the front door. Pitch black in broad daylight …. & -44° Celsius with a -57° windchill.

    Bad times, bad times.

    (/fog) (/harp)

  182. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:39

    the tagfail of outrage

    Should be initial caps, like a D&D spell

  183. Dr. Spaceman said,

    December 8, 2012 at 5:50

    concentrated Malkintentism

    In mild cases, Malkintentism produces nausea, migraines, hulluciantions, and thermonuclear bunions. In a severe case, such as we have here, the only prognosis is brain death.

  184. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:02

    OMG! OMG! OMG!

  185. wiley said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:02

    The crazy uncle is the least venomous member of the GP.

    But then, GOP voters had nothing but a field full of cowpatties to choose from in the primaries, so it’s no big surprise that they picked the least smelly, least slimy dried puddle of shit to fling for distance and no big surprise that when they stepped up to the line they were too grossed out to put enough effort into it to beat the team with the 170G disc golf driver.

    Tell us how you really feel, Bug. Don’t hold back. This is totes therapeutic.

  186. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:08

    pedestrians were bouncing from store to store like hypothermic ping-pong balls

    Spiffy writing, jim.

    ((Also for tsam: Hypothermic Ping Pong))

  187. jim the heretical anti-cliff lemming said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:31

    Mitch McConnell (Dadaist-KY).

  188. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:34

    BBBB: Kudos and congratulations! I enjoyed reading it a second time.

  189. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:40

    (Dadaist-KY)

    heh.

  190. Another Kiwi said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:54

    Twitchy is concentrated Malkintentism. Mr. thunder is an unrecognised genie

  191. Another Kiwi said,

    December 8, 2012 at 6:56

    Nice One BBBB, remember us when you get biiiig

  192. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 7:20

    OMG! OMG! OMG!

    you da man!

  193. CRA said,

    December 8, 2012 at 7:23

    Dadaist-KY

    It’s, like, an impersonal lubricant.

    Fur-lined teacup = condom or other accoutrement

  194. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 7:24

    hubbkf was kind enough to take better rock pics for me…they’s up on my blog…which will never be included in any sort of round up…

  195. kg said,

    December 8, 2012 at 7:49

    DKW, u been moonlighting as sanny claws?

    http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/shopping-mall-santa-loses-job-telling-3-old-191836638–nhl.html

  196. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 8:01

    DKW, u been moonlighting as sanny claws?

    must not have been…the mom didn’t say anything about getting her world rocked…

  197. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 13:23

    Dadaist-KY

    It’s, like, an impersonal lubricant. — CRA

    He shoots, he scores.

    (If I got yer gender wrong, substitute: ‘She shoots, she scores.’ Whatever. Anyway I laffed muchly!)

  198. Major Kong said,

    December 8, 2012 at 13:40

    BBBB: Nicely done sir.

  199. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 15:48

    Oooh, a C&L linkie!

    We can say we knew him back when…
    .

  200. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 18:24

    Saturdeath.
    .

  201. El Manquécito said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:04

    Pretty quiet in here.

    Dept. of Secret Ingredients; before grinding the toasted juniper berries and peppercorns for a guanciale cure I decided not to clean the spice grinder, last used for jerk and dusted with allspice, clove, cinnamon and nutmeg. Faint aromatics sometime in the future.

  202. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:07

    yeeeeeees…too quiet…

  203. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:25

    I think I need to post this, then.
    .
    .

  204. Oregon Beer Snob said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:28

    It’s almost like the common taters all have other things to do on a Saturday or something. Weird.

  205. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:29

    I should eat. Wanngoweet?
    .

  206. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:35

    Seven years ago, today… and he still looks the same.
    .

  207. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:45

    How about some Manic Pixie Prostitute?
    .

  208. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:54

    I give up.

    I’ll come back when I’m good ‘n’ drunk.
    .

  209. N__B said,

    December 8, 2012 at 19:55

    Genius, Jeffraham.

  210. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 8, 2012 at 20:45

    I need more popcorn. The feeding frenzy has barely begun.

    According to Coulter, it is more important now, for PR purposes, to cave on this fundamental principle, lest the media blame Republicans for the pending fiscal cliff disaster.  She doesn’t seem concerned about the PR disaster that will ensue within the fractious Republican Party.  

    From Breitbart so I won’t link. The comments are hilarious.

  211. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 20:46

    also for tsam: Manic Pixies.

    Happy Curley Day, JP! Did you photoshop his eyes? They look impossibly green to me.

  212. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 21:11

    Happy Curley Day, JP! Did you photoshop his eyes? They look impossibly green to me.

    No; through the pupils, what you are seeing is the light from the shitty flash on that point-n-shoot Canon I used back then (I now have a different point-n-shoot Canon) reflecting back off of his tapetum lucidum. Curly’s reflect back a green light; LarryElvis’ reflect red.

    And today’s no particular milestone for Curly… I just didn’t have any new pixels, so I went and recycled some from exactly seven years ago. :)
    .

  213. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 21:14

    Genius, Jeffraham.

    Two words rarely in proximity of one another. :) Yeah, I like cat pixels, too!
    .

  214. Major Kong said,

    December 8, 2012 at 21:24

    Kittehs!

  215. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:07

    It seems clear to me why the commenting is thin today: It is Saturday … and Sadlies are out, using the day to conduct the War of Christmas.

  216. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:11

    wingnuts now LURVE literature…go figure…

  217. Fenwick said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:18

    Seven years ago, today… and he still looks the same.

    I misunderstood. I read this as the seventh anniversary of Curley entering the Prestonian household. Didn’t see the ref might be to a 7-year-old photo.

    The stuff about how the kittehs eyes reflect differently is nifty. Do you have any photos with them both in frame and reflecting? (I imagine that would rely completely on coincidence.)

    I always rate for Curley.

    .

  218. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:24

    The stuff about how the kittehs eyes reflect differently is nifty. Do you have any photos with them both in frame and reflecting? (I imagine that would rely completely on coincidence.)

    I thought I did, but NO!

    Easy to make. If they’re both on the bed right now…
    .

  219. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:30

    Well, maybe not.

    Here’s one of Larry’s tapetum lucidum.
    .

  220. Cranky Old Fenwick, professional curmudgeon said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:35

    From Breitbart so I won’t link. The comments are hilarious.

    Well that sorta sux, especially after teasing us with the second sentence. (Also I was looking forward to popcorn too.)

    When I goggelized, I got fuckton of “Breitbart News: Whatever” categories. I didn’t feel like wading through ‘em, just to find the comments page of an article with an unknown title written by an unknown author, unknown title and unknown author.

  221. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:39

    Well that sorta sux

    Here ya go.
    .

  222. bbkf said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:55

    The Ann Coulter we’ve grown to admire over the years is a person

    the what, now?

  223. smut clyde said,

    December 8, 2012 at 22:58

    Here’s one of Larry’s tapetum lucidum.

    Doesn’t take much to turn a Siamese into a red-eyed demon.

  224. VCarlson said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:03

    I remember reading a mystery in which one of the plot points depended on nobody realizing those red points were a blue-eyed cat’s eyes. I’m pretty sure it was a Lockridge Pam & Jerry North tale, written back when blue-eyed cats (almost always Siamese) were a true rarity in the US.

  225. VCarlson said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:21

    As for that “Common Core” link (“Wingnuts LURVE literature”), I was amused to see the poor (nonfiction) reading comprehension demonstrated by the teachers and administrators, who completely skipped over the part where nonfiction reading was to be spread throughout the curriculum, not dumped wholesale on the English teachers. Not new, of course. I remember a college physics prof in the 1970s telling the class that papers did not have to be well written (as we were all budding scientists!), and bitching about how poorly written the physics texts were becoming. I think that’s about when a friend and I started playing “Connect Four” in class just to piss him off.

    Just spitballing, but I think a section examining a poorly written manual might be interesting: figuring out what they were trying to say, why it was so difficult to figure out, how it could be written more clearly, and perhaps some discussion on whether this was on purpose or not ( a cynical person such as myself might wonder if not being able to figure out what a product is supposed to be able to do might help disguise the fact that said product doesn’t do it well, if at all).

  226. Pupienus said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:32

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/12/06/Coulter-To-GOP-Give-In-On-Taxes

  227. Pupienus said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:33

    Oh. Well done JP.

  228. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:43

    DKW, u been moonlighting as sanny claws?

    What can I say? It’s a great way to meet moms.

  229. Pupienus said,

    December 8, 2012 at 23:49

    As long as we’re posting pics, here’s one I snapped last week. http://i.imgur.com/eTj2o.jpg

  230. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 1:50

    As for that “Common Core” link (“Wingnuts LURVE literature”), I was amused to see the poor (nonfiction) reading comprehension

    i especially liked how one of the first commenters thought 1984 was a work of non-fiction…derp!

    also, too…i have figured out how i am going to make my millions: wingnut neckbraces! i’m mean with all the extreme flip-flopping, dissonance and projection of late, the poor dears’ necks must be near the breaking point as their heads just whip back and forth at the newest outrage…

    we can come up with some pithy wingnut ethos to emblazon them with, can we not?

  231. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 1:56

    we can come up with some pithy wingnut ethos to emblazon them with, can we not?

    DO NOT USE UNLESS FULLY INFLATED TO 160 PSI
    .

  232. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 2:12

    Inflation? Yes!
    .

  233. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 3:22

    I got half the numbers right from last night’s MegaMillions drawing. That’s worth a whole $7!
    .

  234. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 3:24

    I can do this all night, if need be.
    .

  235. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 3:33

    Gratuitous cat picture:

    http://i47.tinypic.com/246oojr.jpg

  236. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 4:04

    That is one gratuitous cat!
    .

  237. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 9, 2012 at 4:07

    Photo of the day. http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/12/photo-of-day-ii.html

  238. Pupienus said,

    December 9, 2012 at 4:57

    Best comments on that pic at reddit. ZZ Top? ZZ Bottom? ZZ Top and Bottom? ZZ Versatile!

  239. CRA said,

    December 9, 2012 at 5:20

    Genius, Jeffraham … Two words rarely in proximity of one another.

    You are in the presence of genius, Jeffraham.
    You are certainly no genius, Jeffraham.
    Gaze upon a genius, Jeffraham; this man is your intellectual better.
    Your genius, Jeffraham, lies in scooterology, a domain of little import.

    (Of course I mean no harm. Cheers!)

  240. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 5:22

    Your genius, Jeffraham, lies in scooterology, a domain of little import.

    Now, THAT is what I’m talkin’ about!
    .

  241. CRA said,

    December 9, 2012 at 5:26

    Wow, this didn’t occur to me, but the scooters themselves are often little imports.

  242. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 5:28

    Wow, this didn’t occur to me, but the scooters themselves are often little imports.

    In the U.S., always.
    .

  243. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 5:36

    1966 was the last year that Cushman made a scooter in the U.S. AFAIK, that’s the last time a production scooter was made in the United States.
    .

  244. CRA said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:14

    That’s astounding in the sense that, while I have never bought a scooter, and I don’t know anyone who has, this is America, the United States of Buying Stuff. And to some degree, manufacturing stuff, but 1966 sounds extreme.

  245. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:19

    That’s astounding in the sense that, while I have never bought a scooter, and I don’t know anyone who has, this is America, the United States of Buying Stuff. And to some degree, manufacturing stuff, but 1966 sounds extreme.

    This is Automobile Land. Scooters are considered toys, or luxury goods in the U.S. — not transportation.
    .

  246. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:37

    Just back from an office X-mas party. Let me state that I disapprove of this trend to serve dessert and coffee as essentially two separate courses. Ten minutes is too long to let Tartufo sit while you wait for your beverage.

  247. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:42

    Just back from an office X-mas party. Let me state that I disapprove of this trend to serve dessert and coffee as essentially two separate courses. Ten minutes is too long to let Tartufo sit while you wait for your beverage.

    I think I would have gone all HULK SMASH if they pulled that B.S. on me. Ya need coffee to counteract the sweetness of dessert.

  248. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:43

    Most Xmas office parties I’ve been to involve passing around a bottle of Jim Beam and having the receptionist flash her tits.
    .

  249. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 6:44

    (and that was in the Fortune 100, mind you)
    .

  250. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 9, 2012 at 7:03

    It’s all the socialism. No one gets coffee until everyone has dessert. Makes me wanna go Galt.

  251. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 9, 2012 at 7:10

    On the plus side, did you know you can deep fry benchmark sauce? If you jam a few grains of rice innit you can call them “rice balls”.

  252. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 7:27

    Benchmark sauce sounds like something out of a dystopian sci-fi flick.
    .

  253. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 9, 2012 at 7:57

    Stupid autocorrect. Bechamel.

  254. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 7:58

    Also, have to admit… I never knew rice had balls.
    .

  255. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 9, 2012 at 8:14

    I don’t care if they were gonads. Effing delicious.

  256. Whale Chowder said,

    December 9, 2012 at 9:15

    “rice balls”.

    Owned by riders of Japanese sportbikes.

  257. VCarlson said,

    December 9, 2012 at 9:42

    Just back from a Holiday party. Scooters are big in Hawai’i – something to do with lots of narrow twisty roads, sky high gas, and the fact that, everything’s pretty close (or over ocean).

  258. Another Kiwi said,

    December 9, 2012 at 10:55

    Benchmark sauce is what I aspire to

  259. Smut Clyde said,

    December 9, 2012 at 13:46

    Bench mark sauce is the inevitable outcome of using Christmas Ale in the recipe.

  260. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 17:07

    Scooters are big in Hawai’i – something to do with lots of narrow twisty roads, sky high gas, and the fact that, everything’s pretty close (or over ocean).

    Makes big sense to me!
    .

  261. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 17:26

    When I was in High School, one of the neighbors had a late 50s Triumph Tessy scooter – disassembled in a box. Nothing was labeled and the documentation was in German.

    Needless to say we didn’t get very far trying to put it together. I’m not sure if all the pieces were even tehre.

  262. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 17:32

    I am fairly certain I need blueberry waffles.
    .

  263. Babe Ruthless said,

    December 9, 2012 at 17:47

    I’m going to burn my passport, move to a fortified compound, and fight the eggnog fascists to my last breath..

    http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/335104/against-eggnog-gestapo-kevin-d-williamson#

  264. El Manquécito said,

    December 9, 2012 at 17:53

    Eggnog should be available without egg or nog. You’d think these feudalists would welcome the return of medieval rules governing what words like ‘bread’, ‘beer’ or ‘eggnog’ mean in the squalid reeking market but no because gestapo!

    When he says he will now go set something on fire I suggest starting with his pants.

  265. Fenwick said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:00

    Major: That cat does indeed look dangerous. Pretty, but dangerous. This is the sort of cat I wouldn’t even try to approach, lest it rend my forearm into hamburger. (And remember, y’all, I lover critters.) No, I would be very still, let it take the first move toward me, and not move suddently. Seriously, sir, this is one Ominous Kitteh.

  266. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:07

    I am fairly certain I need blueberry waffles.

    i am trying to talk hubbkf into making me some pancakes…so far, no luck…man, he’s a jerk…

  267. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:23

    welp, the commenters are all over williamson’s ass on this one…he did weigh in and call one of them the biggest sissy he’s ever seen…this holiday season, my fondest wish (besides seeing ‘les miserables’ on xmas day) is that kevin will purchase some real egg nog (raw eggs and all!) and die a lingering death from salmonella…

    also, too…eggnog seems to me to be a really stupid petard to hoist being as RAW EGGS…eggnog is one product that srsly should have some strict guidelines for manufacture…

    and then, here’s a great comment that i am going to remember for future ‘but, but the founders!’ arguments from my mom’s asshat husband who has such a boner for geo washington it is not even funneh:

    It’s not that the Founding Fathers are pure evil scum, it’s that they weren’t virtuous enlightened saints whose every thought must be deified. And when you frame a question in that way, asking if this is what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, you beg the question: Why should we care? Afterall, the Fathers are all long dead, and we are alive. Isn’t what *we* want what is actually important? And if you’re going to suggest that what they, the Fathers, wanted for us is more important than what we want for ourselves, you’re pretty much asking for someone to point out that the Fathers were far from saints.

  268. Spearhafoc, who waits dreaming in his house at R'lyeh said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:37

    Here’s what my cat’s eyes look like with the camera flash on.

  269. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:44

    Kevin Williamson is outraged that GUBBLEMENT REGYOOLASHUNS prevent businesses selling processed egg flavored non-dairy nog product labeled as eggnog. It’s as unAmerican as American cheese food product.

  270. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:48

    Here’s what my cat’s eyes look like with the camera flash on.

    Angles play into it.
    .

  271. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 18:51

    I am fairly certain I need blueberry waffles.

    also, i am fairly certain that evan williams, like the other men in my life…captain morgan, jack daniels, etc…while being a charmer to hang out with, is a gigantic a-hole the morning after…

    this of course, is nothing that a fabulous brunch wouldn’t cure…sadly, it looks like i am going to have MAKE IT MYSELF…

  272. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:03

    Major: That cat does indeed look dangerous. Pretty, but dangerous

    She’s a sweetheart, but she likes to play rough. I’ve got the scars to prove it.

  273. tigris said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:06

    My dad worked for the USDA for many years(mostly testing meat), and yes, there were all sorts of rules about percentages for how little meat had to be in something before you had to stop calling it “meat.” Reagan weakened a lot of them, so things that the founding fathers wouldn’t even have recognized as food could be sold to the American people. I bet at the same time Kevin complains that nutmeg and piss can’t be sold as eggnog he feels it’s a real tragedy that prime beef just isn’t as good as it used to be. Also, regulating eggnog dates to AT LEAST 1966, so GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY.

  274. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:07

    She’s a sweetheart, but she likes to play rough. I’ve got the scars to prove it.

    the cat or mrs. major?

  275. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:11

    the cat or mrs. major?

    Both!

  276. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:15

    Also, regulating eggnog dates to AT LEAST 1966, so GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY.

    There are those who will not be able to connect the dots between eggnog regulation, and the cessation of scooter manufacturing in the U.S. by Cushman… but we Patriots are onto you loony libs!
    .

  277. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:20

    Also, regulating eggnog dates to AT LEAST 1966, so GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY.

    Isn’t that when they started fluoridating the water?

  278. N__B said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:20

    He who gives up regulation for egg nog deserves neither.

  279. El Manquécito said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:33

    Also, regulating eggnog dates to AT LEAST 1966

    Obama is has kidnapped Mr. Peabody, suborned him with Chicago thug tactics and is using the Wayback Machine to impose Kenyan socialistic gestapo eggnog standards.

  280. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:36

    See your cats and raise you a bunny.
    ~

  281. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:36

    Both!

    well, hubbkf clearly does not care if he ever gets laid again…i have been forced to make my own pancakes…

  282. Jennifer said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:37

    I think I would have gone all HULK SMASH if they pulled that B.S. on me. Ya need coffee to counteract the sweetness of dessert.

    Coffee’s for closers.

  283. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:38

    See your cats and raise you a bunny.

    that is terrifying…

  284. Nym said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:41

    See your cats and raise you a bunny.

    Looks more like a hare. Pretty cool, at any rate.

  285. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:45

    Looks more like a hare.

    You can’t see its trigger from that angle.
    .

  286. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 19:53

    possible redemption: hubbkf is baking bread and is planning on fried chicken for supper…

  287. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 20:10

    and is planning on fried chicken for supper…

    I’m planning on that, too. Not sure who’s gonna prepare it for me, though.
    .

  288. El Manquécito said,

    December 9, 2012 at 20:54

    You can’t see its trigger from that angle.
    .

    It’s doing its best to loom though.

  289. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 9, 2012 at 21:16

    It’s not the turkey that makes the greed: it’s the greed that makes the turkey.
    Tropes are signs of Allah’s stability.
    A rabbi is the competitive platyfish of pints.
    Eternity merely postpones the inevitable.
    Waving makes everything wild.
    When you’re going for a simplistic metaphor everything is your responsibility.
    If you think absurdism is expensive, try make-up.
    It’s amazing how hard it is to create sexual practices.

  290. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 9, 2012 at 21:38

    Make yourselves some popcorn and go read http://www.humanevents.com/2012/12/04/patrick-j-buchanan-the-true-disciple-of-saul-alinsky/

    The comments are hysterical – in every sense of hysterical.

  291. Another Kiwi said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:24

    there were all sorts of rules about percentages for how little meat had to be in something before you had to stop calling it “meat.”
    A funny game that Mrs. Kiwi and I play in the Stupidmarket is to look at the frozen hamburger packets for the % of meat. Current Champion is 67% meat.
    Gonna enter the mango pool at Humint Ayventz

  292. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:36

    New diary over at Kos

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/12/09/1168141/-Flying-the-B-52-Part-1

  293. Another Kiwi said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:39

    Crikey, Pupienus, that is teh FEVAH SWAMP!!!
    I like Altilla who says:
    The bottom line, if we had a Speaker of the House like a George Patton personality. He would say—–Enough of this game, Parasites. This country is for the business owner and his employees, Social Security recipients and people that need direct critical help and nothing else.
    No annimalz? Teh Kittehs?

  294. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:51

    We the business owners and their employees of the United States….

    Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  295. tigris said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:51

    if we had a Speaker of the House like a George Patton personality. He would say—–Enough of this game, Parasites.

    Does he mean the Patton who was a life long employee of the US government and graduate of government colleges?

  296. Major Kong said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:53

    So they want a military person to um, dictate, what everyone should do.

    Kind of a dictate-er so to speak.

  297. smut clyde said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:53

    See your cats and raise you a bunny.
    Looks more like a hare. Pretty cool, at any rate.

    It alternates. It is a lagomorphic resonance.

  298. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:54

    So they want a military person to um, dictate, what everyone should do.

    Be worth it to see Jonah and K-Lo out in the exercise yard every morning.
    .

  299. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 9, 2012 at 22:56

    New diary over at Kos

    Well that’s neat and all but you still haven’t explained what Dr. Bomb-bay has to do with anything.

  300. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:01

    Dick tater.

  301. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:02

    i was going to present a mango of the usual obama’s a socialist dictator variety, but this one caught my eye:

    Time to quit being nice. Time to quit trying to be logical about the economy. It is HIgh Time to call like we see it! ALL OF US!!! Tell the News Media to shove where the sun don’t shine. Write your senator! Write you congressman! GIVE THEM A PIECE OF YOUR MIND! Give Obama a PIECE IF YOUR MIND! All of Us tell them “how the cow eats the corn”. . . every month!

    Yes we are extreme . . . extremely patriotic!
    Yes we are old fashioned . . . It made this country Great!
    Yes we have morality . . . it make us better people!
    Yes we stand up for what is right . . . it make the world a better place to live in!

    Tell it like it is! Be conservative and Crazy!!!

    crikey, the spelling is atrocious over there!

  302. tigris said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:08

    Time to quit being nice. Time to quit trying to be logical about the economy.

    Don’t you have to have started doing something in order to stop?

  303. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:09

    Time to quit being nice. Time to quit trying to be logical about the economy.

    Um…
    .

  304. Smut Clyde said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:10

    Write your senator! Write you congressman! GIVE THEM A PIECE OF YOUR MIND!

    Some commenters continued the donations until nothing was left.

  305. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:11

    re: BUFF

    dang it…i was close…i went with ‘big ugly fat fucker’

  306. bbkf said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:19

    say what?


    I don’t usually ever go against Patrick J. Buchanan but…it is our nation’s “gatherer’s”(women & blacks) that are destroying u.s. NOT Saul Alinsky! However, being the REAL “ISRAEL” by the seed of Joseph(Gen. 48:16 & proven by the “sun never sets upon the British Empire”), NOT Judah, ONLY promised Messiah(Gen. 49:10) & this is NOT OUT OF THE NEW COVENANT; WE HAVE PLACED OVER U.S.(OUR “WOMEN ALONE”) NOT ONLY THE “FORBIDDEN FOREIGNER” OF DEUTERONOMY 17:15, as well as, THE “RIGHT” ANTI-CHRIST” OVER U.S. OF REVELATION, CHAPTER 11; SO ALSO AS WRITTEN THE FIRST-BORN(CAIN) WILL BE LAST AND THE LAST-BORN(ABLE, MURDERED BY CAIN) WILL BE FIRST TO BECOME RESURRECTED, ALSO AS WRITTEN…Hey, that’s ONLY 72,000 anglo-saxon men & 72,000 anglo-saxon women LEFT ALIVE… That’s what’s REALLY WRITTEN & WILL BE DONE…

    human even commenters are pretty funneh…

  307. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:20

    Crikey, Pupienus, that is teh FEVAH SWAMP!!!

    I’m amazed at the level of vitriol directed at Boehner, who after all has yet to compromise on anything.

  308. Another Kiwi said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:23

    “FORBIDDEN FOREIGNER” Hey now, “I Want to Know What Love is” is NOT THAT BAD!!

  309. tigris said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:25

    it is our nation’s “gatherer’s”(women & blacks) that are destroying u.s.

    Woohoo! Finally we get some credit!

  310. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 9, 2012 at 23:33

    We may need a real crisis (e.g. a massive depression)… and then a real leader. It may in fact be a Hitler type person that pulls us out of our current death spiral. Sad (I’m not looking forward to it)… but perhaps true.

    It’s official: Obama is worse than Hitler.

  311. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:00

    I’m not looking forward to it

    Oh sure, the erection he gets imagining the suffering of fellow Americans is from dread of their being saved from this hell of low taxes and center-right moderation.

  312. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:02

    dang it…i was close…i went with ‘big ugly fat fucker’

    That’s actually correct.

  313. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:09

    So “butt using fist fucker” wasn’t even close.

  314. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:14

    So “butt using fist fucker” wasn’t even close.

    Well, after sitting in one for 12 hours everything below the waist was numb.

  315. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:24

    Well, after sitting in one for 12 hours everything below the waist was numb.

    Pilot’s epidural, then.
    .

  316. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:28

    That’s actually correct.

    yay! the site i looked at said ‘fellow’…

  317. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:30

    Oh sure, the erection he gets imagining the suffering of fellow Americans is from dread of their being saved from this hell of low taxes and center-right moderation.

    this keeps making me lol…

  318. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:31

    also, too…i have wasted an inordinate amount of time reading various comment threads at human events…once again proving that conservatives are a-holes of a projectile nature…

  319. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:46

    Dictator.

  320. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:49

    Dictator.

    Awwww! What a kitteh!
    .

  321. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 0:50

    change of dining plans…we had huge chocolatey malts…all in all this has been a spectacular snow day…

  322. Another Kiwi said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:02

    Nice diary Major Kong. Too short though, give up that day job, so that you can write more!

  323. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:03

    Dictator

    He’s the bee trucking cat.”

    Lately he’s on a run of woods rats, the deer colored chipmunk size ones. He likes the way they squeak. He ate one the other night and then slept for 19 hours straight. Made me think about how those rats might taste. Course I’d have to eat 12 – 14 to get the dosage right.

  324. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:18

    He also kills and eats threads.

  325. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:25

    So, that is a bee truck, El?
    .

  326. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:38

    i did not read that as ‘trucking’

  327. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:38

    I made Meatish Sweatballs Medish Sweetballs Sweatish Meadballs oh fuck it, those damn Scandihoovian things that are the only reason to go to IKEA.

  328. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:39

    F-350 stake body, you can move all kinds of things with it.

  329. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:44

    F-350 stake body, you can move all kinds of things with it.

    Well, I didn’t catch the bee reference. I’d hope an F-350 could haul a metric fucktonne of bees, though.
    .

  330. El Manquécito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 1:58

    We use the tonners to move them from the 18 wheelers off into the woods to their yards. Hence, a bee truck is a truck with bees on it. The cat likes bee trucks because of the exotic smells.

  331. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 2:02

    I have a cat that eats wasps.
    .

  332. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 10, 2012 at 2:08

    Did the men who fought at Lexington and Concord do so in order to set up a new regime that would manage their lives on this level?

    Once again, the right-winger/libertarian demonstrates his idiocy- these labeling standards don’t impact individual consumers at all, they merely force companies to adhere to minimum standards. If a company wants to market a beverage with under 6% milkfat, they can do it, they just can’t foist it off as egg nog on unsuspecting consumers.

  333. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 2:14

    Holee flock! Arizona 0 Seattle 51 I know it’s only Arizona but still, tsam mist be orgasmic.

  334. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 2:16

    Hey Major – some guy stole your nym and is on top of the rec list at TGOS.

  335. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 2:48

    I have a cat that eats wasps.

    Mine too. And I’m scared of wasps.

  336. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 4:29

    Nani would very much like to eat wasps, but they’re on the other side of the screen. She’s also a roacher.

  337. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 4:56

    my dog is afraid of flies…wasps would completely undo her…this blizzard we are experiencing has also caused her neuroses to make an appearance…poor, luci…eck, but now she has gas so no more snuggle time for her!

  338. El Manquecito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 5:19

    Somehow he knew I was boasting on him and brought in another big rat (neatoma floridana). I’ll spare y’all the photo.

  339. El Manquecito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 5:24

    Neotoma. Farking fone.

  340. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 5:41

    A former cat, back when she belonged to the folks, killed and ate at least one rodent daily, often rats. Pure bred Himalayan, had that ESAD look down cold.

  341. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 6:06

    A former cat

    After a long regimen of hormones and reassignment surgery, she is now a demon and has fulfilled her evil destiny.

  342. El Manquecito said,

    December 10, 2012 at 6:24

    The deal is he has to bring birds to me alive, most of which I release (highlights; a drake wood duck, a screech owl), rodents he can do as he pleases with. Reptiles he can eat but not in the house.

  343. Jennifer said,

    December 10, 2012 at 6:35

    My kitteh has a pattern – she removes the head of every other rodent she brings and deposits on the back porch. Never deviates – she leaves a headless one, then the next one is intact, then the one after is headless, and so on.

    The speculation is, the ones that she does NOT behead are the ones she expects me to eat.

  344. CRA said,

    December 10, 2012 at 7:00

    it is our nation’s “gatherer’s” (women & blacks) that are destroying u.s.

    Whut? Gatherers? I cant keep up with their terminology. I thought we were all either makers or takers. Gatherers sounds good, but then you notice that they’re women and blacks, and they’re destroying us!!

    I like women and blacks as much as the next white guy, but destroying us has gotta cancel out any goodwill. It’s time for hunting licenses, “gatherers, no bag limits.”

  345. N__B said,

    December 10, 2012 at 7:19

    The speculation is, the ones that she does NOT behead are the ones she expects me to eat.

    I CAN’T STAND THE SUSPENSE!

    Do you?

  346. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 7:22

    she is now a demon and has fulfilled her evil destiny.

    I can just see it – Spunky, the Demon Cat.

    Back when I lived in NJ, the condo backed up onto a creek, and if I came home and there was a certain kind of disarray but the cats were just sitting around, I’d look for the body. If they were prowling about, I’d look for the terrified creature and hope it wasn’t too injured to survive release. They were usually just terrified, as far as I could tell.

  347. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 7:25

    I thought we were all either makers or takers.

    Obviously, we’re gathering before taking.

  348. CRA said,

    December 10, 2012 at 7:36

    “Obviously, we’re gathering before taking.”

    Oooh that does sound efficient. Here’s a further refinement: how about some of us hunt while the others gather then take? The first group could even take what they hunt. Sure, take it back to town.

    Is anybody writing this down besides me?

  349. bughunter said,

    December 10, 2012 at 8:18

    I have seen my cat eat mice. Whole. Head first. Chewing on it just as sort of an obligatory mastication. Of course, he’s a twenty-five pounder, so he could snort a mouse if he had the inclination.

    And the selfish bastard never leaves any for me. All I get are grasshopper legs stuck in the carpet.

  350. John Revolta said,

    December 10, 2012 at 8:40

    We may need a real crisis (e.g. a massive depression)… and then a real leader. It may in fact be a Hitler type person that pulls us out of our current death spiral. Sad (I’m not looking forward to it)… but perhaps true.

    It’s official: Obama is worse than Hitler.

    Yes; if by “worse” you mean “not as good as”.

  351. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2012 at 8:49

    Did the men who fought at Lexington and Concord do so in order to set up a new regime that would manage their lives on this level?

    Did the men who fought at Lexington and Concord do so to protect the right of large corporations to lie to consumers about the products they are selling?

    Did the men who fought at Lexington and Concord do so as the competitive platyfish of pints?

  352. Fenwick said,

    December 10, 2012 at 9:03

    Pup: Thanx for both yer links to mango-laden Comments. The Coulson thread was indeed hilarious!

    Major: Your B-52, Part One was a wonderful read. I learned a lot–and was able to more-easily imagine the B-52 as a real phyisical presence…so different from looking at video footage or photographs. I will never watch Strangelove

    I particularly enjoyed the descriptive tour through the crew compartments. Also the way you structure, your deft transitions, and your style. It is a joy to read the Major Kong Diaries … and they read so smoothly and clearly.

    Indeed, that seems to be the universal opinion of the many, many commenters over at The Great Orange Satan. (I learned from the

  353. Fenwick said,

    December 10, 2012 at 9:14

    Fuckety-fuck-fuck!

    I totally blame WP!!! This was NOT the result of hitting key or clicking or whatever and thereby publishing my comment prematurely, before it was finished or edited, including a monster Tagfail such as might be expected from be a snow-bound Minnesotan.

    Those flaws notwithstanding, it should be fairly clear where my Comment was headed. Terrific job, Major.

  354. Fenwick said,

    December 10, 2012 at 9:36

    Major: Earlier, someone ((Jeffraham?)) suggested that the Major Kong Diaries at KOS could be a blog-like platform for you, for it wouldn’t require the same sort of maintainance as a regular blog might.

    Totally makes sense to me. You can easily expand the Major Kong Diaries into a umbrella that covers any subject that interests you. I agree with Jeffraham: KOS might be an excellent blog-like platform for you.

  355. Fenwick the Terrible, Dread Destroyer of Threads said,

    December 10, 2012 at 9:39

    My work is done. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

  356. John Revolta said,

    December 10, 2012 at 9:46

    You fiend!

  357. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 10:16

    I agree with Jeffraham: KOS might be an excellent blog-like platform for you.

    Good idea, thanks.

  358. Fenwick said,

    December 10, 2012 at 16:13

    *slips out of shadow on the edge of town*

    Nope, nothin. Quiet as a grave.

    *slips back into shadow again*

  359. Fenwick said,

    December 10, 2012 at 16:15

    No new thread, either. So perhaps I’m the Only One Left, a survivor in a dystopian Sadlyburg where zombies shamble in search of braanz.

    OMIGOD. The horror, oh the horror.

  360. Suezboo said,

    December 10, 2012 at 16:25

    Pull yourself together, man.
    I’m still here and may need your protection.
    Remain calm and carry on, godammit.

  361. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 17:02

    okay…the weather channel continues to make a huge deal out of winter storm caeser…mike seidell is still stationed in minneapolis…really? big whoop…they still drew a crowd for the vikes game yesterday, so is it REALLY that bad?

  362. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 17:42

    I was driving back to Huntington WV. When I have a weekend layover in Huntington I rent a car and drive home.

    It’s pretty much the only reason to bid Huntington for my monthly schedule.

  363. Jeffraham Prestonian said,

    December 10, 2012 at 17:57

    I’m sure I’ve mentioned it, but much of my young life was spent barhopping in Huntington.

  364. Major Kong said,

    December 10, 2012 at 17:59

    Were there enough bars in Huntington to support a proper hop?

  365. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 10, 2012 at 18:10

    Were there enough bars in Huntington to support a proper hop?

    Maybe he meant bar hoping… he hoped another bar would open up soon.

  366. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 10, 2012 at 18:15

    LEAFS SUCK Update:

    One odd bit of fallout from the Rob Ford Existentialist Theatre is that civic engagement has been amped up. #TOpoli is active again today because of 2013 budget deputations. 209 people are on the agenda to speak on the budget (for no more than 3 minutes). This is for public deputations on a municipal budget document – 209 speakers. Final budget will come out in about a month – so you can imagine the depth of impact these deputations will have on the budget documents.

    This is actually down from last year when 348 folks signed up and they had to stretch it over two days. Although last year’s numbers were bolstered by the cut-a-palooza orgy known as the “Core Services Review”.

  367. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 10, 2012 at 18:57

    they still drew a crowd for the vikes game yesterday, so is it REALLY that bad?

    As a Bears fan, let me assure you that it was horrible.

    Oh. You meant the weather.

  368. Thread Bear said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:03

    LEAFS SUCK Update:

    The GOOD news is: The Leafs are still undefeated!

    The BAD news is: Despite their unblemished record, they are tied for last place.

  369. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:23

    As a Bears fan, let me assure you that it was horrible.

    i kept waiting for the vikings to screw it up and get trounced…sadly, no!

    also, too…they still had the freaking holidazzle parade…grr….we actually had some actual inconveniences out here….but no! it’s all about the metro area…

  370. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:28

    You want mangoes? I got mangoes.

  371. Helmut Monotreme said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:32

    So, I was doing some wedding planning yesterday, and wanted to show my fiancee what I had accomplished, so I gave her my laptop to review. She not only read the plan I prepared, but also examined each browser tab that I had open. She calmly read each page in sequence until she got to the last tab, when she let out a WTF. I guess she wasn’t expecting to see the strange clown picture at the beginning of this thread. So, duly noted. No clowns at the wedding.

  372. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:36

    You want mangoes? I got mangoes.

    holy crap…you weren’t just whistling dixie were you? the first comment out of the gate rises up and punches you in the face…


    “It would be historic for an Indian American governor from the Deep
    South to appoint an African American to the U.S. Senate,” the official
    said.

    It would be truly historic if the GOP started standing up for its base (i.e., whites) instead of wasting time and resources on “reaching out” to blacks and Mestizos who would only dismiss a black GOP candidate as an Uncle Tom.

  373. Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:39

    Warning – don an air mask before viewing those mangoes BS linked to. The air there is especially noxious, a very pale if not Pure white miasma.

  374. bbkf said,

    December 10, 2012 at 19:40

    i hope to hell this is a poe:

    I mourn the South’s being inhabited by other races than Caucasians. I just put in his place a young white minister who preached a sermon I heard against the south re: slavery. He was a missionary’s son in Colombia, SA. I told him he should preach against his country’s violence and drug culture and leave the South alone. He was offended that I defended the South.

    Can anyone give me the name of a book that refutes lies about the South? I’ll Take My Stand doesn’t count as Robert Pen Warren changed his stance on slavery.

  375. VCarlson said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:05

    I mourn the South’s being inhabited by other races than Caucasians.

    Wow. That writer has no idea about history, does he (I’m assuming the writer’s a WASP male). Does it not occur to him that the rosy* past he envisions existed only because of the slave labor (literal, later figurative) of “other inhabitants?”

    *I’ve noticed people who hearken back to some “ideal” past always assume they would be among the very small number of elites, not the far more numerous workers making the elites’ relative ease possible. Me, I know most if not all of my ancestors were peasants, so I’m happy to have been born when I was.

  376. tigris said,

    December 10, 2012 at 20:17

    New post, slackers.

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